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Hello.

Hi, Chelsey and hello listeners.

Welcome once again to Review That Review, we are the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

Reviews!

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we

That's Chelsey Donn.

And that's Trey Gerrald

And together y'all know we are.

The Review Queens!

y'all know

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How are you?

Chelsey?

Chels.

I'm good.

It's so funny.

Like Trey's been working so hard outside of the podcast that this is really the

So it's like weird.

I know.

I was thinking that today too.

Yeah, I miss you when I don't see you, but I'm happy that I'm seeing you now.

life goes on.

Yeah, it's summer.

I love summer.

Summer is my favorite season.

How about you

What's it like in LA in summertime?

just beautiful.

You know, starts the day 75 and sunny, most days then gets warmer from there.

I just I'm manifesting the day when I can afford a nice home with a pool, because I just like

That's like clean and I can vouch for the cleanliness of it.

So that's, that's like real, real goals in my life.

What's what's like, what's your summer.

Go-to.

that's a good question.

I feel like my family in South Carolina always was like, we'll go to the beach in the summer.

So I always think of summer as like sand and ocean, but there is something

Like there's something like charming about that.

Yes.

Agreed.

I dunno, I'm so Irish and so pale that, sunburned very quick.

So, you know, I summer is like suntan lotion to me.

Yeah.

That makes sense.

I just found out that all suntan lotions are not created equal and I shouldn't

Apparently you're supposed to get like mineral based suntan sunblock, whatever you call it.

Yes.

Sunscreen.

Maybe I could just launch into a complaint with this, but why are there all these products

How is that legal?

Lodge A Complaint.

Especially when things are like understood to be safe.

And then after a while we realized like, oh, actually smoking is bad for you.

And it killed.

I mean, I feel like smoking is one thing, but like when it's like, your

And now it's killing.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

Like, why are we getting away with all of this?

I feel like before I buy any product, I need to be so careful of checking the ingredients, you

So I'm going to have some that I know, like, okay, I'm eating radioactive ingredients,

Um,

It reminds me of the Olean after.

oh my God.

That was ingredients.

You've

Those.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What about you?

Try launch into a complainant.

Let it off your chest.

I purchased a very specific laundry detergent for black clothing,

Oh over black clothes that you'd literally just washed and that's really obnoxious when

lent rollers.

specifically before you iron it's like really obnoxious to take something that's

You know that this is a big complaint of mine.

I have a huge problem with

really.

Oh, well we treated hots.

Remember because I can't have anything with black fabric because I live up in the Hills.

It's very dusty up here.

So anything that I have that's black fabric, even if I just leave it about and

I just hate especially black fabric.

Yeah.

It's tough.

And I also hate those lint rollers.

Really why?

If you have to find the lint roller that I like, that's the.

Oh

one.

It's I have to conceit with a sticky that like, it's going to stick to things,

Linty and gross until I have to use it the next time.

Is that what we're supposed to do?

yeah.

That I usually like tear off the used One, I'm about to use it again.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

I tear it off before.

Cause I'm like, Ooh, gross.

Got to get rid of it.

And then it like sticks to everything.

I by the end of a regular black button down, I'm like pushing really hard to try

Cause I could literally let it roll

All day.

forever and feel like, Yeah.

And there's still like lent there.

Like you it's, you have to get to a point where you're just like, whatever.

It's good enough.

feel like.

that's how I can play it.

It's bothering

My favorite is when I can get impassioned about your complaint to cause that

That was great.

Well, do you want to take this energy and jump into some online reviews?

I absolutely do.

I would love to do that.

Try.

Well then why don't we.

Review That Review.

As you know, we are your trustee Review!

Queens.

We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

we read you the Review!

break it down and then rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns.

It's a very Regal process that we call.

Assess That Kvetch.

So Chelsey, what have you got for us today?

who am I?

I have got quite the spicy Review!

for you all today.

Pun intended

spicy.

spicy.

I brought in an Amazon review for.

Sam Jaan to acts spicy hot chicken flavor, ramen Korean spicy noodle, 140 grams, each five packs.

Supercalifragilistic

Oh,

Wait, what?

I was thinking about spicy food is very divisive.

I personally am a huge wimp when it comes to spicy.

My spice level is like Pico de Gaia.

If we're, I'm giving you guys a bench mark.

Okay.

I don't like things very spicy, but there are people out there that like really spicy things.

So I started looking for spicy foods, spicy food, and I found this product and there were a lot of

So I wanted to share it with you.

It is written by.

Virtuality

Oh, no.

virtuality wrote this five-star review guys.

This is, this is where I get confused with the spice lovers out there,

The subject is when I tell you this came from the deepest pits of hell, LOL five stars.

Okay, here we go.

Allow me to tell you 800, just like any normal day, I wake up and have breakfast 830.

No.

Get a notification that my breakfast is almost here.

900 package gets here with these lovely noodles and a few other things.

10 30 starting to get hungry.

And.

I got my 10 45 start cooking knees.

And I'm excited for a nice kick with my noodles.

I laugh at my naive self.

Now 10 55.

I put the cooked noodles in a bowl and pour in the blood red sauce and flakes.

I nearly sneeze at the smell of.

I have finished assembling the noodles and am ready to dig in.

I sink my first bite, 10 56 instant heat and regret.

The taste is delicious, but after swallowing that first bite, the heat hits.

It feels as though the cowboy next door stuck his branding iron on my mouth.

Tears while up in my eyes, as I smile in pure painful pleasure, 10

The Inferno from the previous bite has already made my taste buds more

Oh,

I can feel that heat cranking up and I look into the bowl

10 58.

My next bite, the flavor has gone in like my father.

I feel nothing but heat and my stomach feels like Rocky is using it as a punching bag.

I go for another bite and my nose decides to become a faucet.

I rip into pieces of paper towel and shove them up my nose to stop the flood, but to

10 59.

I finished the noodles and I'm faced with a broth only comparable to the river sticks.

I see the flakes floating around and little bits of noodles.

I know if those noodles were alive, they be crying like the souls of

I swallow my pride and start singing.

In an instant, my mouth and throat turn into lava.

I feel every millimeter of the devil's sauce run down my throat and hit my stomach.

Like an atomic bomb.

I am in pain, 11, 10, the pain subsides, but my lips and stomach are still feeling the burn a bit.

My day continues on with some relaxation after the five days of work.

1300,

Um,

the gurgles have gotten louder and the feeling of certain death is rising upon

I write my will and let my family members know.

I love them.

Lord have mercy on my soul, 1700 in an instant.

It hits.

Uh, fart that could roast a marshmallow followed by the burn of 1000 suns on my colon.

That time has come.

I rushed to the bathroom prepared to embrace the Reaper, but the feeling goes away.

Huh?

I must be imagining things.

Boom.

It hits me.

The burn is unreal.

I'm currently birthing Satan's child.

The.

The pressure in my abdomen is like nothing I've ever experienced before.

Without a second thought I grabbed some TP to insure the cap to a shore.

Oh God, I don't even know this word.

Cap.

C a P S a I C I N Capson.

Okay.

Whatever to ensure the caption doesn't rest too long on my poor.

But it comes in waves.

Nothing I can do now can stop this hell.

Fire from escaping.

My vision starts to blur and my breathing gets heavy.

This is, this is how I tie 17, 10.

The very essence of the afterlife has been exercised for my system.

And I now sit here and wallowing pain on my bathroom floor, writing this.

To those who dare venture down the dark path of pain, just know it was

And I would recommend it to anyone who loves spicy food.

As I do, may the Lord have mercy on now?

Digestive system, you brave souls now, but in all serious.

10 out of 10, these noodles are absolutely amazing.

And I recommend them to any spice lovers out there, much love, and

And then there's a picture of the product.

218 people found this helpful.

Uh, okay.

Wait, cat capsicum is a, a pepper.

Okay.

Okay.

So this does not sound like a five-star review to me.

Well, that's what I'm saying about whole spice thing.

Okay.

This is like, this is why, you know, Trey and I guested on horror movie, survival guide.

And I talked about how I don't like horror movies, right.

Because why would I sit down and watch something that's going to make me feel worse.

That's how I feel about spicy food.

I could feel good or I could feel terrible by eating something.

I'm going to go with feeling good, but I'm telling you Trey, it's like the hotter and

I mean, I recognize the pleasure and like the dynamic flavor palette and like the kick.

And I even like, maybe like, it's so spicy, like my nose was running, like, okay.

But like,

Right.

All of the pain and the abdomen and the rectum, and like all of this, like torture

As we're going through and we're at like 1700 hours, I'm like, oh, wow.

Like what a terrible Review!

like, I'm like, this experience is so awful.

So to then just be like, nah, man, just kidding.

Like 10 out of 10.

I recommend this to anyone who likes spicy food.

Cause it sounds so horrible.

It sounds like a day long experience rather than just like the 10 minutes that you're eating.

And like, this is the best spicy ever.

Like it lives with you when you're past that expensive.

Yeah, thank God.

Virtuality mentioned that this was their day off.

Can you imagine if they had to go to work?

Can you imagine being stuck in traffic?

Oh my God.

No, that's a nightmare, but there is an amazing side note.

Margaret Cho stand up about being stuck in traffic when she was on a persimmon diet.

I highly recommend listening anyway, back to virtual reality.

Well, okay.

So my first, like kickoff here was Confusion at the military time.

Do other

going to say, do we think, do we think that they're a vet?

No, that they're from the United States.

Do we think that virtual reality is a.

I mean, how old do you think virtuality is?

I mean, based on the like, nah, but in all seriousness, I feel

Yeah.

For some reason, I don't think of them as being like that mature because I also

But then again, I don't know.

My dad interesting point though, because my dad was in the Vietnam war

And it

really all from being in the military where you have like the most bland food possible.

So like hot sauces or saving grace.

Cause everything tastes terrible.

But yeah, I mean, I was really struck by the 800.

I was like, wait, it's just like 1-800-FLOWERS, something.

I know.

But then I was really tipped off that this is like outrageous when they

that shit Is going to burn you up.

pun intended.

but then I also got lost in the narrative here about.

The fear and torment that they felt when they realized they were only halfway

So they were into the pain of the experience.

I'm supposing.

well, right.

And that's what I've been trying to like consider as we're, you know, going into our evaluating

This clearly says very spicy.

I imagine you're not visiting this page and less.

You have a very high spice tolerance because the product is saying it's very spicy.

So if your.

Somebody that has a really high tolerance.

And you read that it still had this effect and you like the thrill of the game.

Maybe that would be affective to know like, yo bro, like I was scared and I can handle anything.

Like, is it the thrill of the game?

Maybe, you know, my only sort of comparison here is like, I do actually purchase

what happens with spike.

Right that like, what are you, what high do you chase after this becomes

One day at a time and you just keep going.

And maybe that's the whole idea is that like people that do have an

They, they can't be thrilled anymore.

This is where they go.

Like maybe if you were looking at that double coffee Review!

and someone was like, oh my God, I drink whatever coffee, but this coffee like made me reorganize

You might be like going to get that coffee.

I don't know.

I mean, obviously the elephant in the room that we're sort of dancing around,

That's really like where they lose us is TMI.

Especially since this whole timeline sort of adds up to what

Like I don't imagine abdominal pain, equaling pleasure, unless they explicitly say like, I've

Yes.

This is what I, you know, it seems like they.

You're

the hot and spicy, but like they go into such great detail and I was

Cause like the whole thing about like, I'm going to write my will and I'm going to like

it is a bit it's interesting to me because I'm wondering is this insider baseball?

um,

like if you were somebody that was looking for this product who

They're definitely making a huge stretch for humor here.

They just went a little bit long in the joke.

Like I think they could have, they could have cut this down to like four or five timestamps

Neither of us were really laughing because they just went on and on and on and on and off.

I, in my opinion, I think that virtuality could have started at like 930.

I don't need to know you woke up at This time that you went to get the mail that

Then you like opened it Then you put it on the pot, then you like start, like you could

in

my experience.

A hundred percent,

but true to virtuality swarm.

Like I appreciate the commitment.

Yeah.

Like the comment of like non man, like in all seriousness, like 10 out

That being

well, I mean, clearly they're saying, I hope you enjoyed the read.

Like they, they really were going for like, oh, this is going to be fun for people

Yeah.

you know?

And it's sort of a self-deprecating comic, like here's me trying to eat

it's it's it's a little bit trying too hard.

I will say though, I do believe well, but now I don't know.

Cause I do think that did this really occur.

I don't know.

I think maybe some of the details are just for jokes.

Like, I don't know that they were like fearing that they have to finish the

I didn't understand about

Oh, that was weird.

I didn't understand the father

I didn't neither, but I do trust that like virtuality

I do feel like they really do say 10 out of 10.

Yeah.

the meat of this Review!

felt in congruent or something.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't, I, again, like, I think it's the thrill of the game.

So for example, my, my older.

Who is Israeli had like a huge spice tolerance.

And one of my other roommates had this spice with a bullet on it.

It was like bullet, like very, very spicy and he would use it and he poured it like

And he was still eating it.

Like he was one, not going to let the food go to waste.

And too, like, he was, there was a part of him that was enjoying it.

But when he got like halfway through, there was a moment where he was

Going back in.

So I do think that there is, it's a weird masochistic thing where it's like, I am in pain.

My nose is dripping.

My stomach is on fire, but I want more like there, there is something about that.

And if you're listening and you're one of these people that loves the spice and

Because I really am curious if, like, what is it?

Is it like the horror movie thing where we just, we liked, or like the rollercoaster

Well, I do know that in QS, there used to be like a hot

And they had like, you know.

900 varieties.

And my sister is a huge, hot sauce person.

Oh, Mandy, call

Yeah, Mandy, Mandy,

you tell us, but like sauce, I feel like is a little bit different than

Like something about that feels even more artificial and dangerous to your body.

Because my ultimate thought about the whole timeline was like, what

But I mean,

Speaking of my complaint, right?

I you imagine the chemicals in

so what was the spelling.

It was good.

The selling and grammar was good, the like 800 all, like, it's just, it was a little

I mean,

not anything.

of feel like it probably is comment.

I mean, it does sound to me like virtuality who chases the hot sauce high and they like

Probably like as a common experience, I would think

Yeah.

And it says the subject.

When I tell you this came from the pits of hell, LOL, I don't know.

It does sort of encapsulate that.

I feel like have like considered most things for virtuality.

Is there anything we didn't touch on

just want to say the use of the word gurgles.

It makes me so uncomfortable.

gurgles?

He taught virtuality talks about the gurgles?

of their stomach.

Like,

Oh, the gurgle, the stomach gurgling.

was that five-star.

Oh, that just sounds so horrible to me, but okay.

I think, Yeah, I think I could crown this.

Okay.

Let's do it.

All right.

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards and an effort

We will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

The Queens are Tabulating.

Interesting.

Hey, Trey is holding up two crowns.

I'm holding up three.

Try you go first.

Why two crowns for virtuality,

don't know.

I feel like I had just sort of, I I'm trying to not be biased, but the experience

I feel like having that long of an experience.

That I feel like the impact of the hot sauce or the hot noodles lasted much

I, but, so I don't know how much of that is influenced by my bias here because

So this just like the worst thing in the

out of your league.

Like I can't, even when I'm eating romp, when I'm eating sushi, I can't even eat.

The wasabi that's too much for me.

So like I'm out, but I just said two crowns.

Cause ultimately I felt like we were being sent down this fairy tale that was for like

Yeah.

And it felt a little like you're wasting my time.

Like, but the impact here is I believe them.

I think it is really hot.

S chasing this high, I would probably buy it.

I just you need to like condense, babe.

That's all.

Um, why did you say three?

I did the condensed babe.

Um, Three, as well.

I think that was like the real issue here.

I also tried to take myself and my bias out of the equation and that's why I went and

Who is going to be reading this Review!

and they do not think you're going to be visiting this page unless you're someone that's following

The audience that is looking at this, they like spice.

So for that reason, I went with the Three,, but I had to take off two

We could have really used a serious edit and like the winking.

And also my, one of my least favorite things, as you know, Is going through a whole long Review!

and then having like a one sentence, like NABA really was really good.

It reminded me of that poem with the turtle and all that, where it's like, we

And then in the P P P P P S you gave us like the actual Review!

and I just don't love that as a style when we've gone on and on and on for so long.

So for that reason, I went with three crowns.

So I'd say two and a half between the two.

Makes sense.

Right for

Funny.

I love that.

I maybe I should buy these noodles for my sister and my dad

I mean, if they love spice, this will be a challenge.

And I think maybe it would be a good item to buy and look at that.

There's the power of influence from virtuality

up your life.

spice up your life.

Yeah.

Spice girls is much more my spice of choice.

That was fun.

I liked going through that with you try, though we're both not into spices.

I love when I bring in reviews that are in neither of our lanes, so we just get

Um, all right.

My queen, we have officially reached the most Regal portion of our show.

Trey.

Who are you inducting today for?

Today, I am going to share a listener's Royal Highness.

my God.

I love that listeners.

This is great.

was submitted by Stacy B art, which you can find on

Art.

She makes gorgeous teeny tiny art.

So Stacy is recommending this induction, which I thoroughly concur with free chips at Mexican

restaurant.

How have I not thought about this?

There is nothing greater.

Then when you are at a Mexican restaurant and they just plopped down chips.

And as Chelsey mentioned before the peak of the Gaia, I also love a cheese dip

But growing up in South Carolina, it was always complimentary.

And you would just.

You would just get an endless bouquet.

I want to say that's how much I love chips, but I totally agree.

Five stars.

All of the restaurants out there that give you free chip refills and

Think about that.

Imagine going to like, well, I guess this happened, does this, when you go to olive

unlimited salad and bread.

It's techs.

If you get an entree

Okay.

Right.

I

or soup.

You know, I've never thought about this until this moment.

I guess some most time, most restaurants she'll get complimentary bread.

So I guess chips or the complimentary bread.

Huh?

I've never thought about

They are, but again, less and less places are giving you the complimentary bread.

I feel like it's like trending.

I've been seeing on the menu.

It'll be like bread with

like a bread basket, right?

Wait, why is it always a carb?

Cause it's cheap.

And the other brain bustles.

I re I thank you, Stacy BR I totally concur.

I do think that every Mexican restaurant deserves five stars for giving you complimentary

And it makes you want to have a full course meal, you know, and I love that it is one of my

And if you have a white cheese dip, so tacky may, but I Love

Love it.

So from Stacy

Great induction.

five stars to all of the Mexican restaurants that give You free

today.

You are our Royal Highness.

I love anything complimentary.

I'll be honest.

Very true.

Yes.

I love the word complimentary.

That's a five-star for

you're gonna just give me something on the house, like a

What's that mean?

It's like to cleanse the palate.

It's the like little food that they give you before you start a meal.

Like an

You ever go to like fancy room?

I think that the, sometimes it can be as, as Sherbert,

there a band called Boosh or something, or like,

it stands for like one bite, I think, or something like that.

And the idea is that it's the, you know, the chef has prepared mousse booze, and it's

Anyway, great induction.

I mostly love that Stacey passed along this Royal Highness and anyone listening, please

We would love to read your Royal Highness or even we can play you one week.

If you're going to want to leave it on the voicemail, we'll straight up.

Play it for the audience to listen to.

So hit us up.

Let us know your Royal highnesses.

What a

I concur, please share

sharing as a

Sharing is caring.

All right, queen.

We did it.

That is another round on the argue as spicy our queue Ferris wheel of life.

Very, very, very spicy Inferno.

Thank you for joining us today.

If you like what you heard, please share this podcast with your friends.

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zero.

You can also follow us on all the socials at the Review!

Queens.

I'm at Chelsey BD.

And I am at TreyGerrald.

On today's after show pod, Chelsey and I are going to be rating and reviewing another Review!

found on Airbnb.

hell.com with the subject,

Okay.

got bitten by a rat my sleep at this Airbnb.

God.

Stop it.

So to find out what made Chelsey say.

I do think that Shandy has a right to be upset.

I mean, it's not her fricking fault that she got bit by a rat and to find out what made Trey say,

Did old Geller get rabies?

Is that why they shoot him?

Oops, spoiler.

then join our patreonPage@Patreon.com slash Review

And remember.

the haters.

You're a queen

John Deere nonspecific queen

course.

Bob.

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty executive

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe

Now a spicy.

Spice up your life,

life, everybody, and every girl spice up your life.

sick it to the right.

Shake it to the left.

okay.

I clearly don't know all the words.

I see.

Yeah.

How is that it,

Spice girls are back.

I mean, as if they ever really went away, but they are here to stay to

but not posh

is being caused by Pasha itself.

Well, no posh and backup, right?

Not the same one.

Becca Ms.

Paul.

Right.

Bend it like posh.