In the last two episodes, we got up close and personal revealing some of our most vulnerable moments to get to our underlying motivation for homeschooling our five kids. If you haven't listened to Anthony's story and my story, go back and listen to those before you start this episode, because today we're going to debrief to identify the most significant themes that impacted our lives and our decision to homeschool decades before it was more popular like it is now. It also reveals why we're so steadfast in our homeschooling instead of quitting when it's gotten hard. We're about to share our top five beliefs that keep us motivated for homeschooling. Which ones do you share? Let's find out in today's episode of Homeschool Money.

A fast growing number of parents are starting their homeschooling journey while others have been homeschooling for years. All of these parents are asking one big question, how can I afford to homeschool? We are here to answer that important question once and for all. Hi, I'm Crystal Obby. And I'm Anthony Obby. We've been homeschooling our five kids for 13 years and we funded it. Through our online consulting business that we've been running for over 17 years now, we're combining Crystal's financial coaching expertise with my digital marketing background where I help entrepreneurs launch and sell online. We're here to help fellow homeschooling parents self-fund their homeschool journey and create lifestyle businesses. For financial freedom without a nine to five job, are you ready to start living life on your own terms and make your homeschooling experience a lot more fun? Well then sit back, crank up the volume, and enjoy this episode of Homeschool Money.

Welcome, welcome to today's episode. I'm really excited about this episode because this will be the first episode on this show that Crystal and I get to do together. And it's an episode where we are sort of debriefing our two stories that we just shared here on the podcast, where Crystal shared her story and I shared my story, and we just want to extract and crystallize the top five. beliefs from our, our childhood experience that. Motivate us to homeschool. Those are really important to know for yourself on your homeschooling journey, whether you're considering it or whether you're, you've gotten started or whether you've been homeschooling for five years, because those belief systems that you have, they drive you on. They keep you motivated, they keep you energized to keep showing up and doing the work. It's also important on this particular show called Homeschool Money to do that work because it will keep you motivated to. Move through this five step system that we have built in the homeschool money process. It'll keep you motivated to move forward with those five steps so that you can make the money and achieve the financial abundance that you need for your family so you can continue to afford homeschooling easily for your family. And so I look forward to chatting with Crystal just about our top five. Belief systems that drive us and motivate us to continue homeschooling. And it'll be interesting for you to see which one of those you share and what are maybe some of your other belief systems that you've developed from your childhood experience that br bring you to the place of wanting to homeschool today. So Chris, why don't you kick off? Theme number one, that was shared in our experience that brought you to the place of wanting to homeschool. The first thing that stuck out from both of our stories is that we are both attracted to homeschooling because it allows us to provide a custom education instead of a one size fit all kind of opportunity for our kids. Um, many times education can be, like I said, one size fits all, outdated or irrelevant, and we both realized that homeschooling would give us the opportunity to be able to give our kids. Individually, all five of them, exactly what they needed. We didn't see how we would be able to provide that from public school or private school for all five of our children with the resources that we had from growing up. Yeah, absolutely. Uh, I did not realize for myself that whenever we first talked about homeschooling, when we met in college, I was like, yeah, that sounds great. Uh, I'd love to do that. I didn't realize. Like how true this point of custom education would become because I didn't know what the internet would become and how we would get on the wave of the internet pretty early on, on as entrepreneurs and, you know, develop our first, you know, website. Um, just within a few years. And, we actually co-wrote a book together through email. I, I didn't realize that we would end up being early adopters in that, and that the internet would become something that would move so much faster than, uh, definitely public school education would be able to keep up with, but even private school education, even higher education at the college level, that, that it would move faster and things would develop faster than they would be able to keep up with especially when you add on the, the, the element of. Marketing a business online. Things that we were doing as early as 2000. And so this point about, uh, custom education is, is so important because things are continuing to move fast with the development of ai. And so it's important for us that we're able to customize and, curate, elements to our children's education that better prepares them for what is happening in the real world.

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Yeah, I think that one thing that we have is now we have more confidence in the custom education part. Because we actually have experience and we always do revisit our own upbringing, our own experiences. But I know that whenever we first were talking about homeschooling, before we even had children, we were more focused on the ability to have the time with the kids and be able to nurture them and be able to provide 'em opportunities. But now that we're so many years in, we really appreciate. How really good of an opportunity that was because if we hadn't have been having to learn so fast and, you know, self-teach ourselves in the marketplace, then we wouldn't be able to really uncover that opportunity. I think people are starting now to see that, uh, a custom education for each one of your children. You can't really provide that anywhere unless you're doing a, a, a highly expensive private school that it's at the cutting edge. Um, but that's still the school and they have to move a lot of kids. It's not necessarily a problem of the school isn't good. It's just kind of like when you have a startup business and you're a small team, you can make decisions really quickly and whenever you have a larger company, you just have a lot of different things that have to move in place in order to make decisions. So homeschooling allows you to just have to worry about five students for us. Yeah, we don't have to make sure that 30 kids in a class or, you know, thousands of kids in a school or even more thousands in a school district are okay. And so just the, the way that it's set up is set up to be able to be a good opportunity for the individual child, because whenever you go to school, you get tutoring after school to get ahead. But in homeschool, it's like having a one-on-one education for each child, which is a luxury. Yeah. And usually that luxury comes at a cost of being in a private school. And so with five kids, I mean, can you just imagine what the bill on that would be? And so this is actually the most affordable way for us to give our kids a luxury experience. That's right. And so, and I feel like that has been uncovered more as we've gotten older. Yeah. Because we we're like, well, with nothing that we use in our day to day was taught to us at school or in any type of program we've had to go into, you know, masterminds and books and online courses and courses, online courses. I mean, that's why we're so strong about online courses. If it had not been for someone packaging how to do this thing in an online course. We would not have been able to get the information because we have been working in internationally and learning internationally for the last 25 years. Yeah. Only because of the internet. Yeah. And so it's not about whether there it you, you, because you can send your kid to a school that is on top of things, but it's just the way it's set up. You're always gonna be able to provide. One child a lot more than you can provide, you know, 30,000 kids. That's right. And when you're buying, like if you're in a public school sort of educational system and you know you're buying for a whole district, just by the fact of that work, there's going to, there's a lot of bureaucracy in it. Exactly. There's a lot of chains of command in order to just get new curriculum approved. Mm-hmm. And by the time that curriculum is approved. And then move down to actual teachers, and then to the students who are learning it. It's probably, I don't know how long that that process takes or whatever, 'cause I'm not in the educational system, but it, we, we, it's easy to understand that that information in the internet age is already outdated. It's like with the parents right now who are looking to get some of the education savings account money. You know that's happened now here in Texas, but it's not even gonna be available till the next school year, right? And so it's like, well, the kids that could have had it this year, you still gotta wait. Everything happens and then you have to wait for it to actually be implemented. But you can make decisions and changes in your own home. In the same day, start benefiting from it. That's right. And so the custom education and this, the being able to be nimble basically. Mm-hmm. It's just revealed to be a really top benefit for us and our kids. That's right. Because we can, we basically are running a stem school, an art school, a music academy. A a a cooking class. Yeah. You know, a bible college, you know, all under the same roof. Yeah. And. I didn't know whenever, you know, I was 18, that that would be such a big deal because I had had such good experiences in public and private schools that now I'm like, oh wow, this is the only way that I would've wanted to do it. Yeah. And we also got the relationships with the kids, okay, so that was really good discussion on point number one. Now let's move on to the theme number two that we kind of both talked about in our individual stories, and that is just the impact that your environment has on your childhood development and your educational experience. Um, I know for me, I was tremendously impacted by the environment that I was in going into that last year of elementary school, fifth grade, and then into middle school and high school. I was impacted by the, social dynamics and that's a big part of what children are dealing with in middle school and in high school that creates so much anxiety. You know, this generation's called the anxious generation, and how could you not be you're at this developmental stage as, an adolescent where you are trying to solve for identity, where you're trying to discover who you truly are, um, as you are developing as a young person, and you're at the age where you look to people around you for that. And so when you. Are in the kind of environment that I was in my, well, my mom could not control that environment so then I sought my identity by those that I was around. And so. One thing I really enjoy is that in a, in a homeschooling environment, we, we know our children's friends and we know their parents, and so we know whenever they hang out with friends, we know the environment they're in. That. Is, is a big advantage that you have as a homeschooling family to be able to sort of shape the environment that your children who are in such a high developmental stage in their, uh, in their growth, you get to shape their environment and, and it just makes a big impact on the people that they grow up to be during that critical phase of their development as a person. Yeah, I feel like. That was, that's another hand up that we have by taking the time to look at our own stories, because we've learned that people are, are, are able to go through the same things over and over and over again. Like middle school is hard for everybody. And it's hard for different reasons. Like we've learned that in middle school you're not a child anymore, whether your parents are helping you with all your homework and everything. What, what happens in middle school is now you go, you're still a child, but now you're responsible for more things. You're responsible for turning in your homework. You're responsible for getting yourself up and becoming like this little, small, little adult. And, and if you don't have the skills that have been built in, you can feel like you're not successful. When you were successful in fourth or fifth grade when mommy and daddy were helping you, but in middle school, you're not. Achieving the same and that can, you know, be really hard on a child. But we are able to know that. And so we're building the skills into our kids with executive function on like how to do, how to get things done, how to make things happen, how to be organized. Because a lot of times kids feel bad when really they just haven't been taught how to win, how to study, how to manage their time, how to manage their energy, how to express themselves, and all of those things are happening. At a time where everybody their same age is experiencing it. And so we've been able to look at and say, Hey, look at how it was whenever we put ourselves in different environments. And what was the difference? It was just being with people who were doing the same type of thing we wanted to do. So there was different goals or there was this different, uh, ways of, um, enjoying ourselves and so. By knowing that we were, I think we had an have an advantage because as our kids are hitting middle school, hitting high school and things we're like, Hey, okay, let's look out for, they're 12, they're 13, they're 14. What did we experience and what have we learned that they might be experiencing? So we've been able to have conversations about that and kind of stay ahead of things. Yeah. Just by taking the time, you know, to think about our own lives. Yeah. Yeah. And so there again, just to summarize this point. As a homeschooling family, we're able to more, uh, curate and help shape and influence the environment that they are growing up in. And we're also, we also, as a homeschooling family, we also have more time mm-hmm. And margin to devote to. Coaching them and being there for them as they're going through the, the different developmental stages of their childhood.

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And that's just another point is, the time it takes to actually parent a child. It's a real life on life body, on body full contact sport. Yeah. We spend this parenting, we spend so much time. It's like, you know, just working through emotions. Mm-hmm. Working with opinion, working through opinions, working through, um, you know, sibling relationships. Yeah. And if we weren't homeschooling, we wouldn't have time to do that and they would be experiencing a lot more, um. You know, relationships with a lot of other people and not having extra coaching on how to develop their relationship skills. But we do a lot of that here at home. So then when they go out with friends, you know, that's not the first time they've really encountered things because siblings go through a lot together. That's right. So now let's talk about point number three. So a third theme that we notice is our commitment to being chain breakers. Basically, we're trying to break generational cycles in our family, and so homeschooling gives us the opportunity to kind of reset the things that we've seen that maybe we wanted to be different from what we were raised with, even though we had parents that were doing everything they possibly can. We know that whenever our kids grew up, they're gonna say, oh, you could have done this different. Our parents did the best they could. We're doing the best we can. And so homeschooling just gives us a little bit more, um, help in being able to make that investment. That's right. For me, I started my story off with the fact that I'm proud to say that I've changed 99% of the diapers for all five of our kids. And, that's a physical material difference than, it was for my upbringing, and for the siblings that I have. And it speaks to the amount of like sheer time. The amount of time in a day that I'm able to spend with my kids. We set up our life so that we could work from home, work at home. I remember we went through that phase in our business where we learned the difference between working from home because we had our equipment and. Our vehicles, and employees, parked at home, but we were always out. Um, so we had this brand new house that we were never at, right. And then, um, getting into more internet marketing. It was a big shift in like. Oh, now we're now no longer just working from home, but we're working at home. At home. That was a beautiful shift, wasn't it? And, and we, we wanted to make that shift early on before we had kids, um, so that we could be these parents who were empowered financially to be with our kids. And that worked out because whenever we decided that we were going to, you know, make sure that I was able to nurse all the kids. Well, I kind of needed to have that time and the flexibility. And so that's a difference too, because like I said in my story, you know, my mom wasn't able to keep nursing, um, me because she had to go to work and had to go away to work. Right? And so that doesn't work. And she wanted to keep nursing. And so hearing that growing up, I was like, oh, whenever I grew up I wanna be able to nurse, my babies. And so I have been able to nurse all five of our kids and nobody tells you how much of a job that is, how much, how many hours that takes. And so being able to just things that you see that maybe your parents aren't able to do or, or maybe wanted to do, you are able to change that by being able to homeschool and have that time. That's right. Yeah. And, and I didn't know, uh, exactly, you know, what all would come with fatherhood, but I did know one thing. I just wanted to be there. Mm-hmm. I wanted to be there, and I wanted to, be close. To my children so that I know what they're going through, so that I know what they're dealing with, so that I know what they're thinking, what big questions that they have in life, and that I would be there to answer those questions, instead of leaving that up to the culture, um, pop culture, hip hop culture, movies and, their peers that they could be around in a public school or even a private school setting, leaving it up to them to shape. The answers that they get to the questions that they have. I want it to be there. That's good, good conversation on, on, on point number three. Uh, and that's a really good value. And just wonder, what do you share? Like so far we share three values. Is that important to you? Do you feel like you're called to be a chain breaker, uh, in your family and give your children, a more intentional, um, upbringing as a parent than maybe you had what drives you to want to homeschool your children and, uh, and, and parent? Because I think another thing is that it's not always, because we talk about changing the generations and things. It's not always you're trying to change something like, you know, just like with addictions or something like that. It's sometimes it is just the upgrade. Like, my mom couldn't nurse, that's not the end of the world. Mm-hmm. And I wanted to, yeah. So it's just kind of like you're able to fulfill some of the dreams. That maybe your parents or your grandparents have. Yeah. And so our homeschooling gives us that opportunity. I think that's important to remember that, because many times when we talk about generations, you know, it can always be kind of like in a negative thing. Like, we didn't have this, so now I'm gonna have it, you know, in more of the negative. But it's kind of like, you know, positive things that you made, they made, you know, I was able to be there with my grandmother and that was a really great. Investment. I just wanna make sure that, you know, people understand that. Yeah, that's good. Sometimes, sometimes generational things is just an upgrade of what you, what some things that you did experience that were really good. Yeah, that's good. As a number four, a theme that, came up in both of our stories is just the role of intentional love in parenting.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying the show. We'll get right back to the discussion, but I do want to talk high level with you real quick. You see, transforming your finances so you can self-fund your homeschooling journey without a nine to five job takes a roadmap, right? And you may be wondering, where do I even start? Start at step one. Our Homeschool Money Makeover program breaks it down into five practical steps that help any family achieve a financially abundant. Homeschooling lifestyle. Step one, install the abundance Operating system. Most people believe that they need two, nine to five jobs to make it in America the truth. With all the technology and the tools available today, there's never been an easier time to generate six figures. A year in income working just 15 to 20 hours a week than today. When you have a strong why for homeschooling and you know the real costs, you unlock the courage that you need to become a money magnet without a nine to five job. Step two, get crystal clear about what you're gonna do with your first $1,000 that you make outside of your day job. Write down specific homeschool needs that a thousand dollars can cover. Yes, this is a small amount, but if you can learn how to set a target of make your first thousand dollars outside of your nine to five job, that's going to set a fire in your belly and the determination that you need. To make the next a hundred thousand dollars. Step three, find all the money falling through the cracks in your budget with Crystal's. Three financial coaching certifications. Listen, she's gonna help you be able to streamline your budget and free up money without sacrificing your favorite things. You can't build a strong financial future with money falling through your pockets, right? So let's plug up the leaks. Step four. Discover new ways to make money and claim free money available for homeschooling families. We discuss grants scholarships, proven fundraising opportunities that Savvy Homeschoolers are using, and we show you how to use them too. Step five, launch or Scale your Moneymaking Success System to completely replace your nine to five job income. Whether it's a side hustle, a freelance work, or a new business, identify your single most viable opportunity and turn that into $3,000 in income. $5,000, $10,000 a month in income or whatever you need to feel financially abundant. Implementing these five streamlined steps will make you feel more financially empowered than ever before. You'll gain the momentum that you need by step number five when you're making more money. You're going to feel unstoppable financially. Through our marketing consulting business, we've helped literally hundreds of entrepreneurs build online selling machines. That's what we do in our business life and launches, and we share our million dollar automated selling system with you. Inside the Homeschool Money Makeover program. Inside the course, you're gonna get all the video lessons, worksheets, templates, and guides that you need to walk through all five of the steps to transform your finances. And right now, during our special introductory offer period, you'll get bonus gifts plus our lowest enrollment price ever. Making it easy to enroll and make your first thousand dollars back. Fast. Go to homeschool money.com to watch our free class, and then you're gonna get an inside look at the full Homeschool Money Makeover program. Don't wait. Go to homeschool money.com to start the free class and enroll into the full program today.

And for us, I think that. The desire to be intentional with giving, lots of love to our kids was just something that we wanted to do, and we felt like for us that homeschooling, would allow us to do that. There's a lot to be said. That a lot that has been said rather about quality time. But building strong relationships is not just a matter of quality time. What is that? It's a matter of a quantity of time as well. You look at people who play any sport at the, at the pro level or any business person who's really rocking in their game, it's not a part-time. You know, these people are not weekend warriors. These people spend a lot of time each day developing their craft and shoring up. Weak points in their game to be who they are, and intentional parenting is no different. It takes a lot of time. That's one reason why we always tell people when we're talking about the Homeschool money program, is that when you're running your business, you're parenting your kids. But you also have to homeschool them. And so many times people build a business from home if they've been able to do that, but they haven't factored in the, the, the, the point that homeschooling and parenting are two different things. Being in charge of your child's education is one thing, but parenting takes a lot of time in itself. And so even when kids go to public school or private school, you still have to be a parent. And then you still have to manage, you know, all the. The details of them going to school. And many times people think that when you homeschool, it's just kind of all blended in. And that is what causes a lot of burnout in homeschooling. And so in our schedule, we literally have, here's the list of things we need to do for our home. This is the things we need to do for our business. This is the things we need to do for the kids and their homeschool, which is their education, and then us individually. And so those are all different categories. Parenting and homeschooling take. Different sets of energy, and so you have to factor that in. And so being intentional in parenting, you could be a highly intentional person, a highly intentional parent, and send your kids to public school or private school. I mean, many people are very intentional and move to specific neighborhoods and in making all types of sacrifices for that. But an intentional homeschooler, which is what we're talking about, has to factor in. That time and that energy for the education as well as the parenting. And so intentional in education takes all the curriculum, all the relationships, all the co-ops, all all that kind of planning and with multiple ages, a lot of different skill set. Intentional parenting is the, you know, relationship and the quality time and the sibling relationships and all that thing. And so you have to be. Wise in how you use your time, your energy, whenever you're trying to be a homeschooler, a parent, have a marriage and still keep your own, you know, self together. Yeah. Yeah. I, I think that on the note of intentional parenting, you know, just looking back to things that made a difference, in my childhood. Just one small thing that I remember from like my mom, as a single parent. Parenting me, and having to work, you know, full time and sometimes working overtime, multiple days a week, just to provide. And, um, and then me being at school all day and not necessarily being able to spend the time together. Not a lot of time at all, but just. A point of her intentional parenting was setting rules and setting boundaries. And just noticing me, I can recall friendships where it just did, it seemed like some of the, some of the guys had both parents in the home, but they just weren't, they didn't have as, as strict a boundaries, uh, around their time and around how they spent money and around how they spent their time and. It makes a difference in how, much trouble a child can get us into when, you know, and so, and just so my mom, just having, uh, stricter boundaries around my time and, uh, and just noticing me, and just asking a few questions here and there made a, a big difference and help me, stay on, on track. Small things such as just setting good boundaries had a big impact. And so just wanna encourage, uh, you listening, the efforts that you may think are not enough or good enough because your child is still a child and he or she has ways that they still need to grow and learn, and you're just looking at that because you're in it. You know, all of the efforts that you put in as an intentional parent to steer them towards being. A, you know, high functioning, healthy, happy, whole individual, they are going to pay off in spades for you later on. Just, I hope that you share that value with us on using homeschooling as an opportunity to be that intentional parent, to spend more time to be a bigger influence in the life of your children and that will pay off for you as a parent. Okay, so let's move on to the last point, point number five, or just the, the fifth theme, um, that w was shared by us in our story that we believe is a big driver for us. The fifth theme that I think we notice that a lot of homeschoolers share is that we want to be the primary influencers of our kids instead of the culture or institutions. And so basically whenever you have more proximity with your kids is when you're spending more time with them, you end up being, you know, their main influence. And so whoever you spend time with, you become like. Everybody knows that the top five people you spend with, spend time with, that's who you become like. And so by us being there and us not just being in the same house, but actually engaging with our kids, we've already seen it because our kids have been like, oh, whenever we grow up, you know, we want to, you know, still be around you. We still wanna do this. And you know, they've said, oh, you're my role model, not this person or that person. And so. We've been able to maintain that influence because we are engaged with our kids and we tell them that we're really trying, we tell them, Hey, we're doing this because we are trying to put you on this right path. We're not just, uh, like the Charlie Brown parents where the kids are down there and the parents are like, wow, wow, wow. Yeah. You know, we, they understand, Hey, we're here trying to do our best to parent you. God gave us to, gave you to us and us to you. We're doing the best that we can and so we are doing. Everything that we know and everything that we can do to learn, to be able to raise you guys in the best way. And so, um, that has been, I think, a overarching. Thing That has been a big theme. That even impacts all the other themes. That's right. Yeah. That just, just the being the primary influence. Because if you send your kid away for eight hours a day and then you, you know, they come back and you get a couple hours and, and that's the time where they're tired. That's the time where you're just trying to get dinner, trying to get them to, you know, their practices or something, get 'em in the bed. You basically see 'em at all their worst and That's right. I'm so happy and so and so just even by the actual. Calendar schedule. The schedule itself says that you're not, the primary influence of your children is, particularly as they grow up in those highly impressionable developmental stages where they're experimenting and things like that in middle school and high school. Like we, like we've talked about earlier. And so we know we want it to be and remain their influence going into these very impressionable, experimental, developmental stages of their growth. And you know, even like at five years older, you know, younger than that or older than that, whenever people teach their kids how to read, it's been like one of the best things that I've been able to enjoy to teach each one of our kids how to read. And so I can't imagine, you know, getting through all the diapers, getting through all the, you know, the twos and the threes and all that kind of stuff. And then finally whenever they're able to sit down and read and wanna learn, that little moment of time is just so magical. And we've been able to experience that with our kids and I can't imagine now dressing 'em all up and sending 'em to school for their, you know, get their little apple and their little favorite little teacher. Yeah, I mean, it's been such a great, you know, experience to watch them and, you know, we deal with all that stuff and then. Sitting down for our first day of like reading, and that's been the funnest thing. I'll have pictures from all of it. Spending that time with the kids and you know, now they look up and they're like, oh yeah, mommy taught us how to read. And then I talk about the importance of just literacy. Because seriously, if you learn how to read, you can learn anything. Yeah. And if you can't read, then you know, you're just at the mercy of what somebody else is reading to you. And so reading is a superpower and I'm super passionate about it. Yeah. And so me being able to be the person that. You know, teaches them how to read and then seeing, and then we just keep giving them opportunities to learn and grow in their own way. That whole process, you know, has made up for a whole lot of the, the, the, the diapers and the, the messes Yeah. And all that kind of stuff. Yeah. And so just being there, it's so fun. This has been really good. I hope that you guys got something good out of it and that it has encouraged and, motivated and lit a new fire. In your belly to continue or to start? In the journey of homeschooling, again, these are our underlying motivations for homeschooling that have been important to us, that make this conversation of how to easily afford homeschool so that you can homeschool without sacrifice. So that you can homeschool and enjoy financial abundance. These are the motivators for us to, be intentional about not just having that conversation, but living that out and experiencing that financial abundance so that we can continue on our journey to homeschooling. Thank you so much for joining us in this episode, and we look forward to seeing you in the next.