Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

on this beautiful journey called life. Thank you so much for

being here. It's been a while

I had a family member in the hospital and ICU for four weeks,

and it was very intense. So thank you for your patience.

Thank you for being here. Most importantly, thank you for the

people who request episodes who sent donations, or the ones who

come out to the year and check out my physical location where I

offer coaching and yoga, in the forest in a yard. It means the

world to me to receive you, and to connect with you. And yeah, I

hope I can bring value into your life and support your journey

and be a little stepping stone when it comes to your growth and

expansion and expression of yourself. I hope you feel good

in your skin. I hope you have an exciting time ahead of you, I

hope that you feel courageous and resilient and joyful. And if

you don't feel that way, at the moment, if you feel, you know a

little lost a little stuck, a little confused, or maybe

frustrated, then I hope I can be of support.

Hi, today I want to talk about your willingness to commit, I

recorded an episode similar to this one, not too long ago. But

I really want to emphasize how important it is for you to

commit to something, be it yourself, and be it your career

beard, your relationships.

Be it a hobby, we need something that anchors us down. And even

though you might be saying you are a wild card, you like to be

uprooted and just traveling around and not committing to

anything not feeling responsible for anything, then you are still

committed to being free and independent. But to do that 100%

And to, to fully, you know immerse yourself in that journey

is so incredibly important. Because what I keep seeing what

I keep meeting when I do my coachings is that I have people

with dreams with aspirations, with a strong readiness to

embrace change.

But also, there is a huge resistance to novelty and

uncertainty and committing to one path.

And that makes it very difficult. Because if you do not

want to commit

to that one path, then you will lose energy along the way and

get frustrated if you do not reach your goal. So let's take

an example here of a lady who is so frustrated that she is still

single, she's in her 50s She comes to my coaching because she

wants to get to know herself better. And she wants to find

the partner of her dreams.

And she pours her heart out, we go through the life wheel and

discover where else she wants to grow. And we engage on a

coaching journey and I share everything with her that I know

can really help you in finding your dream partner. And we start

by by exploring who she is, what do you want?

And that's where it starts becoming difficult already

because she doesn't know what she wants. And she doesn't know

who she is. So for her to commit to getting to know herself and

to finding out what is it that she needs. What is it that she

needs to communicate in terms of boundaries? What is it that she

wants from a relationship has to be so rock solid it has to be so

when I asked her and I a couple of weeks down the road

She has to come with that answer. Like within seconds, if

she doesn't know who she is and what she wants, of course, she's

not going to meet a person out there who is a match. Right? So

for her to explore and be curious and be a little

detective to find out who she is, she needs to commit to that

path. Now in her past as a child, in her family dynamic,

she was always communicated to or she always made conclusions

about her self worth, that she is not deserving of attention.

Yeah, in her family was communicated. If you focus on

yourself, especially on self care, on Hobbies, that don't

serve the world in any way, but are just there to, you know, be

enjoyed, then you are selfish. So, with this belief system, she

now walks into adulthood, and is frustrated because she doesn't

know who you are, who she is, and she doesn't know what she

wants, because an underlying belief keeps telling her that

she is not worthy of committing to herself and finding out who

she is. So it is two competing energies that are fighting

inside of her. And of course, me as a coach, I cannot see it from

the outside until she tells me what her childhood was like. And

if her childhood was like she described, I will know, as a

coach that we first have to work on these underlying beliefs of

deep worth less Ness. Because all the other tips and tricks

will not have

a pull on her journey. So to say, if she still believes that

she is not worthy of a partner, right, I can give her all the

tools. For example, saying hey, you need to make space for your

partner, you need to actually pretend as if your partner of

your dreams was in your life already, you have to make space,

you have to make time, you have to be curious about another

person's needs and wants. And if you are still stuck in, your

needs are not being met, and you want to have your cup filled

first, no partner will engage with you. Right? You cannot

start a relationship by saying hey, you gotta you gotta fix me

now. And I'm giving, you know, to my parents, maybe to my

children to my job, I'm always there for everybody. But now you

got to fill my cup, that doesn't work like that. Nobody's gonna,

nobody's gonna engage. And if they would it be a very toxic

dynamic, that you initiate it.

So for you to commit to a path of self discovery, to find out

who you are, and to find out what you need, what is it that

you want from your job? What is it that you want from your

relationships? That alone will take up so much time and energy

that I usually don't understand when people say, Yeah, well,

I'll get to it once my partner, my new partner is in my life,

that's not how it's gonna work. You got to do the work before

you got to do the work before you apply for that job. Because

otherwise your nervous system is not ready. Right? If I was to

ask you, what is your biggest dream that you want fulfilled?

And you would tell me I want a million bucks.

And I tell you, within five minutes here is a million bucks.

If you haven't done the work to feel worthy if you don't know

what you're gonna do with that money. If your mindset regarding

money is money as bad money as dirty, money doesn't grow on

trees.

What's going to happen with that million bucks that I just gave

to you, you're going to somehow lose it is going to run through

your fingers. And subconsciously, you're going to

make sure that you get rid of it real quick, because you were not

working on your readiness before. Same goes with a dream

partner.

If I was to tell you, your dream partner is about to come here in

the next 15 minutes and then you'll be happily ever ever

after. If you're not

Nervous System. If your whole physic your your brain, your

mind is not geared towards being in a committed relationship

right now, in the next 15 minutes,

you will either scare your future partner way you will

reject it, you will not trust him or her, you will, in some

way or another, manipulate yourself out of that situation,

because you don't feel deserving you don't feel ready. And this

is why I keep telling people, you don't want your dream to be

fulfilled before you're ready. Because you would mess it up.

Trust me, I'm an expert, and that I had so many dreams, and

all my dreams come true. But I never had worked on my

readiness. So whenever that person that sing, that Job was

right in front of me, I started sweating and ran away.

And I don't want that to happen to you, I want you to be so

aware that you need to commit to your readiness in order to have

your dream come true. But first and foremost, in order for you

to embrace that change that new reality, that dream of yours.

And be careful right now I'm just talking about the positive

outcomes, right. But same goes for if you you know have desires

and dreams, and they keep not being fulfilled. First you work

on your readiness, and then you work on. If it doesn't work out,

I'm not going to be overly attached to an outcome, I'm

going to stay open. I know myself now so well, that if it

doesn't work out, I'm not going to panic, I'm not going to, you

know, lose my everything over this because I'm so rock solid

on who I am. So, readiness for positive outcome for when your

dream prince or princess is right, you know right there

standing in front of you. But also readiness for when things

don't work out the way we want to. And sometimes it's for the

better. But if you keep thinking that it is a failure, that

you're not deserving of that dream, and this is why it's not

happening, then you close yourself up to something that

might be even better than what you had dreamed up. Okay. So I'm

going to leave you with that. Work on your readiness. Reach

out to me and and share with me what it is that you're working

on right now. I'm so incredibly curious. I want to know how you

ready yourself for your dream for your aspirations. And then

we'll go from there. I'll send you so much love. And like I

said in the beginning if ever you feel like engaging in a

journey together or if you want to take out the yard for some

relaxation classes or for some in person coaching, shoot me a

message and I'd be happy to receive. All right, take really

good care of yourself. And I'd be out there very soon again