So I have a.

Just was wondering, were you religious prior to this event and how did this change your view on spirituality and religion after this event?

Yeah, I wasn't actually, no, I wasn't an atheist because both my parents are Christian and they took us to church as a family when we were younger.

And I actually rejected the actual notion of going to church.

I didn't feel comfortable with it, you know, so my parents were pretty liberal and they said it's okay, you can still stay at home.

So I kind of like, you know, didn't really take any, any faith in onwards in my own life, as it were.

So I didn't really think about death or God or anything like that.

But that all changed.

Yeah, big time.

I mean, when I was I.

Part of what happened in this experience was that I actually saw what I believed to be God.

I was faced with what a lot of people talk about when they have NDEs, near death experiences.

They see a tunnel of white light.

And I saw that tunnel of white light that came a bit further on into the experience itself.

When I saw it, I just thought, wow, again, it was this beautiful white healing light that was giving out unconditional love.

But the energy was just like turned up.

It's like somebody who just turned the dial up big time.

And there was like flames surrounding this white light, you know, and the energy of love was just.

I felt like every molecule in my body was vibrating with it.

And I just thought, and it's like I knew straight away that what I was looking at here was the source of all creation.

So it was a big moment for me because I thought this is.

There is a God and this is it.

It's not some guy in the sky, you know, or whatever our faith may be.

And most, most religions of faith, you know, the God is, or whatever is, is in some kind of human form, if you like.

So it wasn't for me, this was it.

This is what I was staring at.

So that stayed with me.

So yeah, so my spirituality is very much a part of my life now.

Wow.

So you, you come back from that realm, we'll say, and all of a sudden you are immediately aware of sound and the bright lights and the pain.

How.

What were your thoughts at that point?

Were you, were there people around you?

Were you, were you able to speak or communicate at all, like what was happening then?

Yeah, well, I remember my friend Anna, who, the girl I was seeing off on the train, she stepped forward at that point and they were just about to take me straight into surgery to Start operating.

And I said, anna, something really important has just happened.

I've got to tell you about it.

And she was going, no, not now.

Tell me later.

And I said, no, this is so important.

I was just like, I've got to tell you now.

She said, we'll wait.

We'll see you later.

I said, okay.

She kind of put her hand over my mouth.

That's enough, you know, so.

So, So I was really.

That was it.

I was willing to theater.

So it's kind of odd because I'd gone from having everybody around me when I first came back to being.

Going straight under an aesthetic then.

And then when I came around, it was eight hours later and I was in a.

They'd given me a room of my own in the hospital.

So it was just me basically on my own for the first, you know, eight hours.

So I was really kind of.

I'd got a lot to sort of ponder over and think it through, you know, and I was actually really dying to see my family.

I really wanted to see my mother especially.

It was really odd.

I remember just thinking, I want to see my mum.

I want to tell them what's happened, you know, so.

So, yes, I couldn't wait to see them.

Did you ever question, like, whether it was real or were you 100% certain?

100% certain, yeah.

Yeah.

I've never doubted it because it was just.

It's.

It's not like.

It's not like a dream state and it's not like, you know, an hallucination.

It's.

It's.

It's like.

I describe it as being ultra real.

It's.

It's.

It's.

It's like it's another dimension.

So it's not quite the same as we are all sat here now, chatting, but in this world.

But it's just.

It is, you know, I didn't just see it, I felt it, you know, the.

The, you know, so there was an awful lot there.

But not only that, since then, I've come across other people who've had NDEs, and.

And we have so many similar feelings and stories to tell about it all, you know, and, you know.

Yeah, I've never doubted it.

What was.

What were your injuries?

When all is said and done, what did they have to operate on and what was the recovery like?

The physical recovery?

Yeah.

That's interesting, actually, because, yeah, the main, as I say, my left arm being severed, that was the main bit they had to operate on.

My whole body just got completely shook up, to be honest with you.

I Mean, I couldn't move for weeks.

I was just laid there on a hospital bed with tubes coming out of me.

But.

But I come out pretty good, really, in all fairness.

I mean, the.

The UK rail police did a massive inquiry.

It.

It took a whole year.

And when they finished, they turned around, they said, you know what, we're finished now.

But we're just banging our heads together still because we're saying, you should be dead, you should not have survived this.

We've done all our figures, you know, So I came out pretty good, considering.

But, yeah, but interestingly enough, I healed very fast as well.

The surgeons were going, you're healing really quick.

And I felt that I was still.

I felt like I was still attached to the other Realm, like I was still getting energy coming through from them there.

You know, they were giving me the healing powers to keep me, to help me heal.

I know firsthand what it's like when you kind of get close or you feel that you got close to death and you come out on the other side with, you know, life and the chance to kind of continue.

Can you describe what that feeling was like when you were finally out of the hospital?

Not a full, you know, clean bill of health, but you were able to, you know, kind of go back to somewhat of a normal life and what that, that second stage of your life was like?

Because I know what it was like personally after my situation.

So I'm just curious if you could share with the audience what your experience was like in that second phase.

I know I don't like saying the NDE or whatever, but after you had that experience, that, that, that.

That energy that overcomes you every day.

Sure.

Well, for the first six months, I was, like, completely filled with.

With all this kind of energy and joy from what had just happened.

Because I've been to this realm that was full of unconditional love.

I was filled with it.

And.

But.

And I got this, As I say, I got this burning desire to start painting, which is what I did.

So I started doing all these huge paintings.

I'd never done anything like that before, just to record what I'd seen.

So I found.

I suddenly found that I got new gifts, that I was now able to start paint.

To paint, and all this creation was happening.

You didn't paint before at all?

No, no, I didn't do at all.

I was doing manual work before, you know, and it was just.

Yeah, so this came through, but I.

When I was doing these paintings, and still now when I work, I feel like I'm Channeling energy from spirit.

It's not just me, you know, it's coming through from somewhere else.

And I'm allowing myself to, to kind of create and put this stuff on a canvas.

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When I heard your story, I was taken away completely.

I mean, it's mind blowing as far as what you've described to this point.

But what kind of transpired next is, I think, what, excuse me, what really, what really gripped me.

There's more, there's more.

And obviously this is a music podcast, music related.

So this next section just kind of seems to tie everything together, which is why I was like, we really have to talk to you.

So I mean, there's the whole idea of the.

Or not the idea, but your experiences with near death.

And then you came back with these incredible gifts.

So I just wanted to kind of just mention that as we set up what kind of took place next and what gifts you came back with and how you're gonna blow Matt's mind with.

This next little bit here.

Okay, well, this.

So yeah, this was the next stage of the journey for me that I had.

I'd played guitar before, but very basic, you know, I was thrashing out three chords, you know, you know, in punk, sort of pop bands or whatever, like, like many of us.

But what was to come next was that I was to start writing music.

I was, I was having spiritual healing and I was going for spiritual healing that I discovered and which was really great.

And a lot of those healers, they would give me the clairvoyance something and they would give me messages afterwards and, and they kept saying, why am I seeing Wagner or violin placed across your chest?

And things like that?

And then, then one of them turned around and said, they're telling me that you're going to write a piece of music about your experience.

And when I say they, she's talking about her guides that give me the energy to be healed.

So I, I went away and tried to write what I thought was going to be a 3 minute pop song about it.

But it wasn't happening.

And I was doing it on.

I couldn't play guitar anymore because my left arm was bashed up.

But old synthesizer at the loft and I started and these, then suddenly these, this chord progression came through to me and it came again.

It came through from somewhere else I thought.

And I just recorded it.

All I got was an old cassette recorder and I just recorded it onto that.

And I thought this sounds great.

And I started developing in it.

I thought this sounds like it should be performed by an orchestra.

So I got this same kind of freeing of ambition, just like the paintings.

And I thought, why not?

Why not?

Why?

And so I made friends with a.

With a cello player.

And she used to come up and see me when I was doing my paintings and we used to meet for coffee and one day she said, oh, what you've been up to?

And I said I'm.

I've just been working on this new piece of music.

And I said it, but it feels like it should be performed by an orchestra.

And she said, well, maybe we could do it.

And I was going, really?

So I thought I'm going to hold you to that.

So I just developed it up and I can't read or write a single note of notation still, you know, to this day.

But I started hearing all these different sounds like, like, I hear like flutes and horns coming through.

Then I discover that a horn is a French horn and all these different instruments.

And I, and I started putting it together and my brother, he was down in London and he said to me, look, I've got this bit of software kit that you can attach to your laptop and when you play on your keyboard, it will transpose it in through MIDI, as it's called.

And then, and then that will, then you can get the notation to print out.

So.

Which is what I did.

So I printed out all the parts and met for a coffee with the orchestra and they said, yeah, it looks great, we'll do it.

So they offered to perform it.

And so I wrote my first.

I'd only written the first movement at that point when they agreed to do it.

So I had two more movements to write.

So I ended up writing a whole symphony.

And, and it was.

Yeah, so.

And that's just the way you say it.

You just made it sound so simple, like it's something that's supposed to happen everyone else can do.

How, how do you have, how do you go from having melodies, we might even call them random melodies in your head to figuring out how to get them out of your head to then putting them together arranged as a full score for an orchestra.

That seems like a lot more than just, you know, entering something into a keyboard and then letting it spit out.

That seems pretty involved on your side.

Was there a lot of figuring out to do or.

Yeah, I tried very hard not to figure it out.

I tried hard not to intellectualize it, because I think if I'd done that, I would have got scared, and probably it wouldn't have happened.

The ideas were flowing through, and they would just come in, and, like I say, I'd hear sands, and I kind of think to myself, that's like.

That sounds like, as I say, a horn.

So there's a French horn.

And that's how I learned to use a French horn.

And I realized that the more sands that I use, the.

The richer the textures would be.

You know, again, it was like doing a painting.

They were, like colors that were starting to evolve.

But you know what?

When I say I didn't intellectualize it, I went this far.

That a lot of the time, when I was actually working on it, I used to have the TV on in the background, really low, the volume down, because it made me not take it too seriously.

You know, it made me just think, if something comes while I'm half watching this movie, then it'll come, and that's how it happens.

And.

But I was very much helped.

I.

I realized that I was channeling ideas through from another source, and.

And when that happens, I just kind of go with it, and I just keep keep going, and I.