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[00:00:17] The Missional Life - Dan: All right. Welcome back to Mission Life Podcast. Today we have Cindy Brinker Simmons on the show. Cindy is an inspiring author, philanthropist, and business leader who has dedicated her life to supporting others through their most challenging times. Her latest book, Restored, Reconnecting Life's Broken Pieces, provides profound insights into overcoming adversity with faith and resilience.

[00:00:36] The Missional Life - Dan: Cindy, welcome to the show.

[00:00:38] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Welcome. Oh, glad to be here, Dan and Amanda. My greatest joy and pleasure. Thank you.

[00:00:43] The Missional Life - Dan: Amen. Glad to have you. You know, your journey is truly, truly inspiring. And so we're just wondering what inspired you to write your new book, Restored, Reconnecting Life's Broken Pieces.

[00:00:57] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Well, you know, Dan and Amanda a tenant In the book is that suffering is a universal experience I mean none of us are immune from the bumps and bruises of daily living.

[00:01:07] Cindy Brinker Simmons: I mean it can be painful and Misery and gladness cohabitate with each other. I mean even the bible speaks of suffering first peter quarter 12 says dear friends Why are you surprised at the painful trials you're suffering as if something strange were happening to you so suffering? is just part of our experience.

[00:01:26] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And in my life, Dan and Amanda, I had a wonderful mother and father and a darling little sister. But at age 12, I was seated on a very uncomfortable pew seat because we were burying my mom who was just a lovely and talented lady. So at age 12, I really felt the sting, the pain, the sadness, the loss, the heartbreak, the confusion, the anger.

[00:01:53] Cindy Brinker Simmons: of losing a loved one, a mom at age 12. And so then I wasn't a believer and I was really angry at God. I thought he was mad at me. Actually, I thought he hated me. I thought I had done something so bad, so terrible that I was incurring the wrath of a vengeful God. And so I thought it was punishment. And so that's where I part my heart at age 12.

[00:02:16] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And fortunately, and so what I did is I wanted to earn back the love of this God that I thought was so mad at me. So I kind of began a little performance wheel. It's like that little hamster that runs on that wheel. He runs and runs and runs that poor little guy's pooped because he's not making any progress, you know, because it's all performance.

[00:02:34] Cindy Brinker Simmons: But fortunately by God's grace, four years later, daughter of a pastor. Share the gospel with me. And she told me about the outrageous grace of God and, and how he knew there was sin. Of course, he was saddened about sin and that we all fall short of the glory of God. We sin. And yet God's answer was powerful.

[00:02:54] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And it was a sacrifice of his own son, Jesus Christ, to pay for our sins so that we can have our life in eternity with him. And the fact that God would sacrifice for me, because again, I thought I was a loser. I thought I had done something so heinous to incur the wrath of God. So That night I accepted Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, and Amanda, and, oh, Dan, it was a game changer.

[00:03:18] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And then 33 years later, my story unfolds again that I met a wonderful man who captured my heart, my beloved Bob, and we had a wonderful six year old son, and we're just about to adopt a little girl. Actually from Russia and those four mean spirited words came crashing into our house again because my mom had passed away of cancer.

[00:03:39] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And those words were Bob, you have cancer. And so cancer was, it was a very wicked and aggressive cancer. And we were given three months, but in God's outrageous grace, he gave us three years. And Bob's mission statement for us was that Matt, no matter if he had three months, three years, 30 years. that we were going to glorify God and we were going to give God all the glory.

[00:04:04] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And that's what we did. But And Bob did pass. God gave us three years. My son was nine when we buried Bob. But during that time, Dan and Amanda, we saw the hand of God because people are watching when you're going through those, those desert experiences, those difficult times. And I know your listeners, oh, they can probably feel the pang of suffering because no one again is immune from the bumps and bruises of death.

[00:04:31] Cindy Brinker Simmons: daily living and pain and suffering can be painful. So after Bob's passing, we had talked about writing a book and that just wasn't to be, we had a lot of things we had to do just to keep, keep just ahead of that cancer. And so three years later, after Bob's homecoming, I really wanted to, I wanted to help people move forward in victory because God's victory had been ours.

[00:04:54] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Because again, our mission statement was to glorify God and people through our, our journey. saw our dedication to Christ. And I think when when you can see someone's dedication to Christ, even when they're afflicted and when they're calm and they're peaceful and they even have joy during their affliction, they want what that is.

[00:05:13] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And of course, we gave all the credit to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and people were saved, including members of my family. So I just wanted to write a book, Amanda and Dan, that that would help people move forward in victory and that I could infuse the hope and joy of Jesus. into their lives and I could speak and remind them about the goodness and the glory of God.

[00:05:36] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Because many times when you're going through that, you shake your fist at God and you have clenched, clenched teeth because you're mad at God because you feel like he's indifferent or maybe inactive or he just doesn't care. But yet I, I, I'm trying to break through that and just allow people, even during our times of great suffering, that God is working behind the scenes and that we can trust him.

[00:06:01] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So that's why I wrote the book and with the book, Dan and Amanda, because it's so steeped in the love of Jesus. And, and it's a a book that, that really points to God. I have a lot of biblical truths, a lot of, a lot of verses. verses, bible verses. And so, and I also have a lot of applications, biblically based truths and applications in the book that people can apply to their life because I want to, I not only want to tell them about Jesus and tell them then trust in God, but I want to help them have a pathway to do that.

[00:06:36] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So it's just my way of giving back. And it's my way because Jesus rescued me because you know, God is a God rescue. And in the very, Definition of the word restored is repair, return and renew. Cause we all fall short and that's just really the root of the word restored. And, and one last thing just about that, that when I was sitting on that real uncomfortable pew seat at age 12, I had this vision because I was so angry at God that our life, the Brinker family life was like a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that God had thrown haphazardly to the wind.

[00:07:13] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And he was mandating that we put back those pieces. And I remember saying with really a clenched fist and just so angry, God, we can't even find the pieces. And yet God in his outrageous grace, when he drew me to him, all those pieces have been restored. Thus the title restored reconnecting life's broken pieces.

[00:07:39] Cindy Brinker Simmons: When we know Jesus, God restores, even though we can't see it. And sometimes it can get worse before it gets better, but God is working behind the scenes for our good and for plans and purposes that we can't even see. But in time they unfold and they are for a good.

[00:07:58] The Missional Life - Dan: You're so right. When you said we don't. Get through this life without suffering. In fact, you know, you look at some of the prophetic words spoken about Jesus that he was a man of suffering, right? And now, obviously, that was his earthly life. We know he's not suffering now, but of course, during the time he suffered.

[00:08:13] The Missional Life - Dan: And yet at the end of his life, towards the end of the end of the book, he's like, look, I'm suffering. In this world, you will have trials, but what does he say? He says, take heart, take heart. I have overcome the world. And so we put our trust in the person who has overcome the world, overcome these trials.

[00:08:33] The Missional Life - Dan: And I'm just wondering for you as a mom. How did you shepherd your son's heart through such a devastating loss? Because we know that even at your own age of 12 and losing your mother, but then his losing his father at the age of nine, that's such a impactful time of life. And so how did you have the mom protect his heart?

[00:08:56] The Missional Life - Dan: How did you continue to help move him into a life that's not angry at God for the rest of his life? Oh, that's a

[00:09:04] Cindy Brinker Simmons: great question. Dan and Amanda. William was nine. And, you know, grief comes in all shapes and sizes. And to your point, the way I handled my grief. Of course, I wasn't a believer at age 12. It's gonna be different than any other person's way that they handle grief, whether you're Christian or non Christian, because we all have different heartbreaks and suffering comes crashing in.

[00:09:29] Cindy Brinker Simmons: We all respond differently. William was a Christian at age. He accepted Jesus Christ at age four and a half and a neat story. I'm gonna share one of my favorite stories in the book that can help answer this question because it formed the basis. of where, how I then shepherded him when I realized Bob's cancer was very terminal.

[00:09:50] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And when he was in the hospital for his first, literally we had just found the cancer and he had to have what's called debulking, which means taking out tumors. And there were a lot of them. So he was in the hospital for a number of days. And normally William bathed William, normally Bob bathed William, but when, Bob was in the hospital.

[00:10:08] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Of course, I took over that, that job. And the first night that I was bathing William, and again, daddy wasn't there. William knew something was the matter. And he was six at the time. This is when he was six. Cause Bob, Bob lived for three years. So he was sick. William was sweet. William was six when Bob was diagnosed.

[00:10:25] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And then nine when Bob was called home to be with the Lord. And that very night he looked at me and he said, mommy, is daddy going to die? Well, I wasn't prepared for that answer. I mean, that question, I know I wasn't prepared to give an answer yet. And so I, I kind of mumbled through it and I said, Daddy doesn't plan to, darling.

[00:10:45] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Daddy doesn't plan to, but I knew that wasn't a good enough answer because Bob and I really hadn't even discussed it because this was like literally the first surgery he had when we found he was diagnosed with cancer. So I went to the hospital that night. Later we had someone taking care of William after putting him to bed.

[00:11:00] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And I told Bob, I said, honey, this is what William asked. I want you to come up with the answer because I want you to answer that question. So we prayed that William wouldn't ask me that question anymore. And he didn't. So when Bob came home the first night, I always bathing, William Bob was there and William looked straight at his daddy and said, daddy, are you going to die?

[00:11:20] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And Bob in his, such gentle way, his gentle spirited way said, okay. looked at William and said, William, yes, daddy's gonna die. Yes, William, daddy's gonna die. And then he looked at me and he said, William, mommy's gonna die too. Yes, William, mommy's gonna die someday too. And then I just can already picture he looked at William and with the most tender, soft and gentle voice, he said, And William, someday, someday, and I hope it's a long time from now, but I hope, but you're going to die too.

[00:11:58] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So William, the question isn't whether daddy's going to die, or mommy's going to die, or you're going to die. The question is, where do we go after we die? And William immediately, Picked up and he said, Daddy, Daddy, you'd be in heaven with Jesus. You'd be in heaven with Jesus. You wouldn't have any pain, no more suffering.

[00:12:19] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Oh, Daddy, Daddy, that would be a good thing. So I only say that because Williams Foundation was already established. That there was a Jesus, that there was a heaven, and that's where our final destination when we breathed our last breath on this side of heaven was going to be. So that was a good thing. But Amanda and Dan, as you can imagine, as he grew up, And he was a fatherless child.

[00:12:46] Cindy Brinker Simmons: I did have a lot of mentors, a lot of godly mentors around him, men mentors. That was really important because men are different than women. And I wanted, and Bob and I already during the three years, Bob's sickness, we chose who we have as our guardian, who, who we, if something happened to us and who Bob wanted to shepherd William's little heart from a man's perspective.

[00:13:09] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So I already knew all that. And, but yet, William was still the only fatherless child. And there were moments when he was really heartbroken. He couldn't understand that. So I allowed him, I allowed him to speak to God in tones of anger, in tones of confusion, in tones of heartbrokenness, because I said, William, God can take that.

[00:13:31] Cindy Brinker Simmons: God wants a communications with you. He wants you to come and lay your brokenness, your sadness, your anger. The feet of the cross to petition him at the throne of his throne of grace. And he wants that communication with you. So I allowed William argue with God, to shout at God, to be angry at God. And through that process, Dan and Amanda.

[00:13:57] Cindy Brinker Simmons: William recognized that God is who he said he is. And we had, we were in church and we were at Christian school and we did a lot of faith based activities. So there was nurturing, a lot of nurturing going on. I wrote him a little note every single day in his lunch box as he grew up, even when he was on 10th, I wrote a little notes about how God loves him.

[00:14:19] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And, and to this day he understands that God is who he says he is, that God has his back, that God will never forsake him. And yet William knows that loved ones die, that things happen that disappoint him, that he doesn't always get what he wants. He doesn't always get an A on a test when he was in high school or he doesn't, things don't, the outcome aren't as he wants, but he always knows that God has a plan, the purpose.

[00:14:49] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And even in his daddy's passing, he has a confidence that God is good to his word. He has a great plan and purpose for for us. And many times we can't understand on this side of heaven, but that God is the authority over all. So that has been very helpful. And also for a couple of years, I would always write, I'd write love notes to William, and I'd always sign it, and I'd say, Love mommy and daddy.

[00:15:13] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And I've kept up all of Bob's pictures in our home. So if you walked into our home, you would think that I had a little six year old, not because I look like I haven't six year old. I probably look like a grandmother sometimes. But William isn't married. I don't have grandchildren. But I've kept the pictures of Bob up in our home as dad.

[00:15:32] Cindy Brinker Simmons: My dad did when my mom died when I was 12 because you don't want to erase that memory. You don't want to pretend that that person never existed. And we talk about Bob all the time. So I think that's very healthy. And I always want to get, and I would encourage anybody. who's who have lost a spouse and they have Children.

[00:15:51] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Be authentic with your Children. They know, they know when there's heartbreak and they sense that and be authentic with your feelings. I was very authentic with William. I never hid that I missed Daddy and I never hid the fact that that Daddy was in heaven and we would talk about what Daddy was doing in heaven.

[00:16:10] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Be authentic and honest with your Children because they know they can sense that. So I would just say to have good people around them. And again, in my case, I lost a husband. So have good role models, good godly men that you can trust around your children. If you're a widower and you have a little girl, have good women, good godly women, you know, so they can breathe into that child and then just love them well and let them be honest with their emotions and let them tackle that with God.

[00:16:40] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Because that's what we do. God knows what they're feeling. And I said, well, he knows what you're feeling and just let them be honest and, and bring their heartbreak to God, because that's in our life throughout our life. That's what we need to do. We need to talk with God.

[00:16:54] The Missional Life - Amanda: That's so important. And I think that, , as you were saying, talking to God, letting it out, , if God wasn't okay with that, then the book of Psalms would have a lot of missing pages.

[00:17:05] The Missional Life - Amanda: Yes,

[00:17:06] Cindy Brinker Simmons: exactly. Amanda. Yes.

[00:17:08] The Missional Life - Amanda: So, you know, and we just had to walk through that with our daughter three years ago, Dan's mom actually passed in 2021 from cancer and our daughter Elizabeth was six at that time that she passed away. And. walking through that with her and she's a very deep soul overall. But, you know, we just, we've tried to keep that communication open as you, you shared.

[00:17:34] The Missional Life - Amanda: And I think it's important for children and adults to be okay with like letting out those emotions because it's so much better to let the pressure out than to let the pressure stay in and ultimately let The heart grow bitter, , the Bible says, yes, your heart for it is a wellspring of life.

[00:17:53] The Missional Life - Amanda: And if those emotions are not dealt with, then they can just cause like a rot and decay to start entering into, , your spiritual heart. And that's just so important to do that. And it's a really quick, funny story. About Dan's mom. There was one time that she herself, she was very down to earth, had a great sense of humor, very, very strong, would encourage people and she, she was, became frustrated at one point because she was just really trying to serve the Lord.

[00:18:28] The Missional Life - Amanda: And there's. function of something that she was using a machine or something. And she said, I'm just so frustrated. You know, sometimes, sometimes God just has to take it. I remember Dan's dad and the two of us were in the room. We just burst out laughing.

[00:18:47] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Yes, yes, yes. Well, you know, Amanda. Oh, go ahead.

[00:18:52] The Missional Life - Dan: Sure. I was just bringing it back to that very deep conversation that , your husband was so eloquently able to redirect the conversation to an eternal principle.

[00:19:02] The Missional Life - Dan: I just remember that we had a similar conversation with, our daughter and with my mom and we actually recorded the conversation and you can hear just the two of them talking and you hear them talking about heaven and and mom says i'm going to go to heaven someday and then our six year old daughter encourages does you know that they're the really high wall and there's it's made of each layer is made of different jewels and that the streets are made of gold and she just starts building out you for my mom, heaven's , and it was just one of those moments where you, just are amazed that the faith and the wisdom of a six year old.

[00:19:36] The Missional Life - Dan: And yet you're seeing these generations come together. And I think that's what God wants. You know, our generation is so broken down young kids here at the church, you know, , middle age here, older. And so we break that down, but we miss that intergenerational wisdom gets passed down.

[00:19:52] The Missional Life - Dan: So

[00:19:52] Cindy Brinker Simmons: well said. You know Amanda and, and, and Dan truly sweet little Elizabeth , they're going to have difficulties their entire life. It's called suffering. I mean, they're, things are going to happen that are disappointing. Loved ones are going to die, as we said. So how they learn at an early age to begin to face.

[00:20:15] Cindy Brinker Simmons: these crises, these, these chaotic times, these as, as, as first Peter 12 says that 412 P first Peter 412 says these painful trials, these fiery ordeals, they're going to last a lifetime. So as, and so as youngsters, grow, we don't want to shield them from, from tragedy. We don't want to pretend that things aren't happening.

[00:20:40] Cindy Brinker Simmons: We don't want to make them feel that that's so false in a world that everything's rosy. And I think sometimes the movies and trying and always say there's a happy ending. And there there is a happy ending with with Christians because we have a place that's going to be glorious is your daughter explained.

[00:20:58] Cindy Brinker Simmons: I taught a Bible study on heaven. I mean, I can't wait. I mean, when, when it's time, when it's time, not I prefer a few more decades. But but, but the reality is young people need to begin to understand the reality of suffering and just how to deal with it and how to deal with it. You know that God is good.

[00:21:20] Cindy Brinker Simmons: You know that he has your best plan at heart. You know that he has a plan of purpose for you. That's good. That's really important. And Bob, one time, because he was such a godly man, the caretakers, we lived in the hospitals quite a bit because his, his chemo that he had to take was, was really difficult and toxic.

[00:21:38] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So we had to stay over at the hospital when he had, he had, He had chemo treatments, and so his caretakers were really touched by God's by the way God worked in Bob and his joy. Bob had such joy, and so one of his caretakers once said, Mr Simmons, Mr Simmons, what is it that you have that makes you so joyful?

[00:22:01] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Because she knew the grim prognosis, and she knew the reality of Bob's cancer, and Bob looked at her. It is just as beautiful countenance and said, ah. It's not what I have. It's who has me. And you see it. God has us. I mean, we can have joy. We can have sorrow. We can have encouraging things happen. We can be discouraged.

[00:22:30] Cindy Brinker Simmons: But God is the one who cradles us. He's the one who cradles us in his arms. And he says, I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. And yes, this is a hard time, but we have to remember that many times what looks bad to us. God's thrilled because maybe it's stripping away some of the things that are keeping us in our sinful nature, keeping us held hostage, maybe to grief or held hostage to recklessness or held hostage to hatred and to prejudice.

[00:23:01] Cindy Brinker Simmons: You see, trials can be treasures in disguise. Trials can have great value. And as a matter of fact, I think the, the road to blessing many times is, is tempered you. With sadness and sorrow and hardship, but there are so many treasures and trials. So when we're suffering or something looks bad to us, God could just be saying, Oh, wait, though, yes, it it might not be good right now.

[00:23:29] Cindy Brinker Simmons: But wait, just around the corner, you know, just let's get rid of some of the sinful nature through all of this and you just wait for what I have planned for you. So God is in his heaven. He does as he pleases, and he does right well all the time.

[00:23:48] The Missional Life - Dan: God has us and he's had you and you are a woman of action.

[00:23:52] The Missional Life - Dan: You've done many different things in your life. And I know you've put some of that wisdom into your new book restored. You've given a lot of these action points for somebody to take action and walk through the process of being restoration. Can you tell us some of those tools that you share with readers in your new book?

[00:24:10] The Missional Life - Dan: Absolutely.

[00:24:11] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Thank you. Well, first of all, I'll give a few things. I think there are perhaps good tips. First of all, many times we can't control our circumstances. You know, things happen. We have nothing to do with. It's like this train that just with its velocity comes right at us and we can't get out of the way.

[00:24:28] Cindy Brinker Simmons: It's something we didn't plan and it just hits us with its full velocity. So many times we can't control our circumstances. But we can control our responses to our circumstances. We can choose joy. And I have a whole chapter on joy because joy is an intentional decision. And when Bob and I were given that prognosis, we chose joy and choose joy when it's that hard.

[00:24:55] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Well, one of the ways is that you look in your past history because again, God's goal is to restore and to rescue us. God wants to do. And again, it's through his son, Jesus Christ. So all we have to do is just look in our brief history and see how God has rescued us, how he's carried us. Just the fact that we're breathing could be just a testimony to God's outrageous grace, because we could be in peril and how God rescues us.

[00:25:24] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So all we have to do is look at in our past history, how God has taken care of us during the difficult times. And God will do it again and again and again. So we just need to trust that God is who he says he is. And that in the, just like he's done in the past, he will take us, he will rescue us, and he has got a great plan of purpose for us.

[00:25:48] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So, so trusting God that he will do the same thing over and over again. Another thing, again, is that trials can be treasures in disguise. And for example, responsibility can replace recklessness. Action can replace complacency. Confidence can be restored and intimacy with God can happen through crisis. So trials for treasures in disguise.

[00:26:16] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Another thing that's important is to remember that God is glorious. Even when our circumstances are not God's character, his mercy, his grace. Doesn't change just because our circumstances do. God is glorious all the time. And God wants us to be in community. That's really important. You know, serving others is a form of worship.

[00:26:39] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And God created relationships. He wants us to be in community one to another. He doesn't want us to be isolated. God, and also God doesn't want our grief to define us. He doesn't want us to be held by our grief. Hostage to our sorrow. Yes, when things happen, when we're stricken by griefful things, and we are, I mean, we all are going to suffer as we've said.

[00:27:02] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So, so when, when suffering happens, we need to pause. We need to just get our breath because grief can literally fray your emotions. It can just make your soul so weary. So once you just take a little time to recover, God beckons you into life. He doesn't want you to stay in neutral forever. He beckons you to move forward and he beckons you to move forward with people, with people who can pray for you, undergird you, who can carry you when, when, when you're suffering.

[00:27:33] Cindy Brinker Simmons: I can't tell you how many times. our friends and neighbors carried us. We had a very world famous international pianist who played all over the world. And when he was on off of his tour, he would come and play on our grossly mistuned piano because he has time to tune a piano and just play for us. And Bob would say that that really eased his pain.

[00:27:58] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So, so to be involved in the community of people who can dedicate a trust to people who can undergird you with prayer, that's so important. And also a very important thing is put your grief into action. You know, I have found in all my years, because having lost my mom and then having lost my husband and having lost a number of very close friends, that grief is not a new emotion.

[00:28:25] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Dan and Amanda, grief is not a new emotion, nor is activism a new phenomenon. But when you blend those two powerful forces. together. Great healing can take place. And what I mean by that is put your grief into action. Be other focus, not self focus. Volunteer for charity. Join a nonprofit where your skill sets and and your interests are aligned.

[00:28:53] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Take up a hobby or champion a cause. Do something that's other focused. I work a lot with Children with cancer and sadly we lose. Children, some of our Children with cancer. And so I work with the moms who have all of this time now, this free time on their hands because they aren't taking their Children to chemo anymore treatment.

[00:29:13] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And so I help them work through this, this time that they have, that they used to dedicate to a child that's now in heaven. And what I really emphasize is do not get isolated. Do not let yourself get in a way and alone. And Because that's when the enemy wants to speak harsh words and wants to be accusatory.

[00:29:36] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And that's when further depression and sorrow can happen. So it's really important to have people in your life that you can go to when you're feeling sad. Memorize scripture, help other people, turn your grief into action. So I have found that's very, very helpful as well.

[00:29:54] The Missional Life - Dan: Very tactical too. I love how you shared about just community.

[00:29:59] The Missional Life - Dan: And I'm, I know that that's really important. Obviously the community that you're around matters so much, but I'm just wondering can you give. us a little bit more even of that tactical nature. What does that look like for you? Because you've been through a lot, you've had a lot of loss, you've had a lot of suffering.

[00:30:14] The Missional Life - Dan: And I'm sure just like everyone else, the alarm goes off and you have those voices that begin to speak to you. And so what does that look like on a daily basis, tactically for you to get up and be in a position that you can yourself be living out of joy, that you yourself can be a victim or not a victim, and that you are in a place that you can serve others and you can minister life to others that are going through something that's very close and personal to you in so many different ways.

[00:30:47] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Yes. Yes. Thank you. And I, I, I took a, I've really thought through this and at the end of every chapter are those biblical truths and applications journaling. I did journaling a lot. As a matter of fact, when Bob was sick, I had a back then they didn't have caring bridge. So I had a phone call him that actually kind of went around the world.

[00:31:09] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Our, our caretakers would give it to other nurses in Seattle that would give it to nurses in Tokyo. So, and it kind of around the world. So I, I journaled and then I would had five minutes. The first two and a half minutes would be how Bob was doing. The second two and a half minutes would be a sermon.

[00:31:25] Cindy Brinker Simmons: I kept in the word. I kept in the word because I daily wanted, I did not want to sink, sink into any depression. Now, fortunately that's not my personality. And, and also I really believe in giving back. I really believe in being involved in the community. And And that was very important. Now, my son was again, he was nine when Bob passed.

[00:31:47] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So I had the responsibility of raising William. So, so my focus, my energy was much on making sure that William was healthy in his own suffering, that he was enjoying friends, that he was around good friends. So I did have a child to raise, but then when William went off to school, Amanda in college, Amanda and Dan, I've been very involved with nonprofits to help, again, other people, and there's just something about helping others and, and being active in other people's lives.

[00:32:20] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And so that is a great way of, of not getting stuck in your own sadness and being around people and, and also because I know where Bob is. I think about him every day and I think about, I wonder what Bob is doing in heaven today. And that actually gives me joy to know that Bob is totally There's no more suffering, no more sorrow.

[00:32:47] Cindy Brinker Simmons: As a matter of fact, William one time came in we were having breakfast and he said, mommy, mommy, I just feel like God spoke to me. And if, and then he was about 10 at the time, Bob had just passed. And if he said to me, if he said to me, William, William, you just out of the word and I'll give you your daddy back.

[00:33:08] Cindy Brinker Simmons: I just couldn't do that. Mommy, because daddy is in heaven. And he has no more suffering and sorrow because we shared all that with I mean, William lived with us in the hospital. We actually lived in the hospital quite a bit of time and and so that gave me great joy knowing that William was healthy with Bob.

[00:33:27] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So, to answer your question, absolutely stay in the word. Understand who God is and be at peace with that. You know, it says in Romans 15, 13, may the God of hope give you joy and peace by trusting in him. So it says in Romans 15, 13, it describes God as the God of hope who then produces joy and peace. And that mechanism is by trusting in him.

[00:33:58] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So I had to be good and I was that I trusted one hundred percent. that God knew what he was doing. He doesn't make mistakes. And that even though I lost Bob when I was in my mid forties with a little nine year old boy, it was hard because Bob and I were friends just just really in sync with each other.

[00:34:22] Cindy Brinker Simmons: We adored each other. Actually, that was a hard loss. But even though I lost I actually, I called him 11 and he called me Sweetie Pie. I really never called him Bob. It was always Sweetie Pie or Beloved. Even though I lost Beloved in my mid forties, I was so at peace where Bob was, but it still hurt. And, and even today, 20 years later, now I'm beginning even to feel more and more the things that were lost during those 20 years.

[00:34:51] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And it saddens me that William, Never knew his daddy is an adult. But yet, because I'm in the word, I do teach Bible study because I'm in the word and I know that God is who he says he is. I trust in him that I have hope. And what does that do? Hope produces joy and peace. So even when Amanda and Dan When I really miss Bob and there are times when I miss my beloved, I have the hope and the joy and the peace knowing that how God, how good God is and that this was not a mistake and I feel actually so blessed that I had my husband for 15 years.

[00:35:34] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So I'm very grateful for that. So I would just say for me personally, being in the word. journaling and journaling is really important because you write down. I really believe in gratitude that an attitude of gratitude and it's all in scripture giving thanks to write down even when you're struggling.

[00:35:53] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Why am I grateful to God? What has he done? that I can be grateful for. And again, that then gets you back to how, in the past, how he has provided for you, he's rescued you, provided for you, and you can be grateful for that even during this dark desert season. So journaling is so important, but write down All that you're grateful for and write down the triggers that make you perhaps get angry at God all of a sudden or, or feel not at peace or to feel that angst, perhaps, or that sadness, write down, chronicle all of that.

[00:36:30] Cindy Brinker Simmons: What are the triggers that spark that because the enemy, Oh, the enemy, I mean, what a cruel enemy we serve. I mean, his job description is in the Bible. He's the father of the lies. He's the father of lies. He comes to kill, steal and destroy John 10, 10. I mean, we've got the job description of the evil one.

[00:36:51] Cindy Brinker Simmons: He wants nothing of our joy. So when we begin to feel Just the loss, and it can be in anything, whether you, again, grief comes in all shapes and sizes. So whether you lose a loved one, whether you lose your dog, whether you've got a, a prodigal child, or whether you're just frustrated. Because maybe you didn't get that raise or, or, or just literally reading the news and the chaos that's swirling around us in the world today, that can really bring you down.

[00:37:21] Cindy Brinker Simmons: But then just chronicle why you're grateful to God for what he's done and then see your triggers, chronicle what those triggers are so that you're aware of when you were more apt, perhaps to fall into. Maybe perhaps an abyss a little bit, but to literally have those you can depend on and call a community group.

[00:37:40] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And when you're feeling that way, go to your community group. And that is really important. I, I have a community group. We meet every week and many times we never even get to the Bible. I've got tissue on, on the table. And many come with great burdens when they walk through my home. And I will not let our community group finish until I feel the burden, the heaviness, because life can be so heavy.

[00:38:08] Cindy Brinker Simmons: It can take you to the end of yourself. It can bring you to your knees until those burdens leave the door with joy and peace. So again, staying in the word, knowing that God is who he says he is, rely on people that you can trust that when you're feeling In a, in a, in a dark place, a fragile place that you can call on them and also chronicle through journaling.

[00:38:34] Cindy Brinker Simmons: I really believe that is so important and give back, be other focused, not self focused, do things for others. There's just others. There's just something healing. There's a greatness about a road to recovery when you think of others and not yourself.

[00:38:50] The Missional Life - Dan: Wow. I just want to make sure that we. We highlight that too, because part of the restoration process in your new book, Restored, covers this, that, , serving others, that being others focused is so important, because when you focus on yourself, when you focus on your own problem, it's going to lead to those abysmal situations.

[00:39:09] The Missional Life - Dan: But when you focus on other and helping other people through similar situations, , you allow yourself to be a channel of life and love, and God can work through that. And, and I love how God has not. allowed you to just stay in those places, but through your, through your business and through now you've also, you found and wipe out kids, cancer and memory of your mother.

[00:39:29] The Missional Life - Dan: And also there's a foundation, a Marine Connolly Brinker tennis foundation that you help oversee. And so that has been just an amazing capstone to All of these things that you've walked through and to me, that's what God wants to lead all of us believers that walk through situations that walk through grief that walk through suffering.

[00:39:48] The Missional Life - Dan: He says, look, I'm not going to leave you there. I'm going to walk you through it. And at the end, look what we can do. We can't, it's not going to be. for nothing, but you will be able to set other people free. You will able to to help others live into the life that they are called to as well. So I just want to make sure that we highlighted Wipe Out Kids Cancer and the Maureen Connelly Breaker Foundation as well.

[00:40:11] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Thank you. And all the proceeds of my book goes to those two charities. I just wanted to give back this, the book was really, Dan, First fruits of my obedience, because I really felt that God called me to write this book. So those two charities get all the proceeds. And let me just say one thing you said that was so spot on.

[00:40:30] Cindy Brinker Simmons: And it's really important to remember this, that when you are going through suffering, people are watching, you know, I'm sure people are watching when you're singing from the mountaintops and everything's great. And you got that raise at work and you just got engaged to the thing. Glorious young lady or this handsome young man and and life is good.

[00:40:51] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Life is good again. That that crisis is going to come crashing through that door sometime And you're going to be walking in a dark desert experience and that is when people are watching And, and I do believe when we model and give back and serve others, like you just said, we are mimicking, we are modeling God's lavish love for on a broken humanity.

[00:41:18] Cindy Brinker Simmons: All we are is we're broken people. We're just as broken as can be again, restored, reconnecting lives, broken pieces. Oh, brother and sister, we are broken people. But when we serve others, We are modeling what God has done for us. Again, second Corinthians one, three through five, you know, God has comforted us.

[00:41:38] Cindy Brinker Simmons: He has so comforted me during my loss of a mom, even though I wouldn't have believed it then, but now I can see how he comforted our family. And then of course, through my beloved's loss, he comforts us. So we in turn are really duty bound to give back. And there is such a blessing certainly to those who you're who are receiving your your graciousness and your kindness.

[00:42:03] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Oh, but to the giver of the blessing that's also received not only to the recipient, but to the giver. And again, people are watching and one's dedication to Christ is so shown and is so obvious and such a testimony to people when they see the peace and the joy When one is afflicted, you know, so just as a reminder that people are watching.

[00:42:31] The Missional Life - Dan: Absolutely. Wow. So powerful. So just, I know you've brought up so many scriptures that I know your book is full of scriptures as well. I think over 150, if I'm not mistaken, scriptures that you've put in there. I

[00:42:46] Cindy Brinker Simmons: kind of lost count, but it was always a high number of 150, 130, 150, somewhere there. Because I wanted it to be scripturally sound, you know.

[00:42:57] The Missional Life - Dan: Well, this is a

[00:42:58] Cindy Brinker Simmons: book on Cindy's opinion. It's all about what God has to say. Yes, brother.

[00:43:02] The Missional Life - Dan: Well, , that's what I wanted to make sure that we highlighted there as well. It's that a book that's full of the word is a book that's full of life. And so listeners be sure to go out, get restored by the book.

[00:43:14] The Missional Life - Dan: and allow it to administer to you. Cindy, tell our listeners, , where can they get your book and how can they connect with you?

[00:43:20] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Thank you, Dan. Thank you, Amanda. Yes. In Amazon at Amazon, it's on Amazon. And if you go to your local bookstore, if they don't have it, they can certainly order it.

[00:43:30] Cindy Brinker Simmons: I also have a website. If people are interested in learning more about the book on the website, it's Brinker, B R I N K E R Simmons, S I M M O N S dot com. And that just explains it. It just more in depth. It explains about the book. It has testimonies and just further nuggets in information. And then you can follow me on social media.

[00:43:51] Cindy Brinker Simmons: I've learned how to do that. And it's a Cindy Brinker Simmons dot author, Cindy Brinker Simmons dot author. And I, I post regularly every week. I just like to have thoughts, scriptural thoughts. And then I do videos, just little videos just to encourage people, you know, use, ask me, Dan, Amanda, in the beginning.

[00:44:12] Cindy Brinker Simmons: What am I trying to do with this book? I'm trying to point people to God and his son, Jesus Christ. I'm trying to encourage them to trust God, and I'm just trying to help them move forward in victory and not get stuck on hold, you know, because life has a stuck on hold button. And just to be able to move forward in victory and to remember the goodness The graciousness, the outrageous grace of a glorious God.

[00:44:39] Cindy Brinker Simmons: So I hope people are encouraged in that. I've been very encouraged about responses from people. I I'm, I'm, I'm again, it's all about God. I'm strictly the microphone. He's the voice.

[00:44:52] The Missional Life - Dan: Absolutely. Well, Cindy, what an honor to have you on the show. Listeners will have all those in our show notes, go out and get the book, support Cindy, connect with her.

[00:45:01] The Missional Life - Dan: And Cindy, we just are thankful for what God has done in and through your life and just how you've not allowed. Tragedies and losses to overwhelm you, but you've been victorious through that and you're teaching other people how to be victorious and be restored as well. So we speak blessing and favor over all you put your hand to, and we look forward to seeing how God continues to use you in your ministry.

[00:45:21] Cindy Brinker Simmons: Oh, thank you, Dan. Thank you, Amanda. How kind of you. I've enjoyed our time together and to God be the glory.

[00:45:27] The Missional Life - Dan: Amen.