​ Hello, and welcome to the spooky edition of the Quit Vaping Podcast. Today is October 31st in Michigan, and I am staring at all the leaves changing, the death, the decay. It's very symbolic of what we're going to talk about today. And here's what I want to say. Welcome to today's episode. And today is going to be a little bit more philosophical and deep in spiritual ask episode than maybe you're used to in this podcast.

But please keep in mind that it's a very intentional I'm doing this episode today. It's very intentional that I'm releasing it a day early on Halloween itself, and it's a very important episode. So, um, whether or not you're religious or spiritual or anything like that, it doesn't matter. It's not, it doesn't have to be taken that way.

This can be also a philosophical episode. Just keep in mind that a lot of the concepts have. come from spirituality or from Halloween or from religion, but they don't have to be necessarily learned that way. And they can still be very applicable to you in your life, whether or not you believe in any of them.

So. Please keep an open mind for this episode. It's going to be very, very, very good. So, here's what I want to say. Today is Halloween and I actually just had somebody come visit me from Miami. So, I live in Michigan and he spent four days with me and we, um, we've kind of like jokingly say, you know, tongue in cheek, that we've attracted each other into our lives because, you know, we spent the last four days together talking about very similar issues that we're having and it led to some amazing breakthroughs.

So, I want to talk to you guys about that today and how, um, it applies to quitting vaping. So, Really quick backstory. I have been in this period of growth for a very long time and, you know, I became a life coach about two years ago and the one thing that I've learned is that Like, the growth in your life that you need to experience, it's always, always, always blocked by a, a veil of resistance or by a path of resistance.

It's like the things that you need most, you're most resistant to do. And that's why you need them. Cause that's where your growth is, right? That is where the growth comes from is doing things that we're scared of, that we're resisting. So remember when I talk about addiction and I want you to think of addiction, not just with vaping, but.

with anything. It could be with food, overeating food. It could be with shopping, overspending. It could be with porn, right? Watching porn all the time. It could be with gambling. It could be with over drinking alcohol, anything that we're doing that's addictive. The reason we're doing it is to escape emotions that do not feel good.

Okay. Any addiction, even if it's not a substance, it could even be like social media. It can even be power. You know, people are like, Oh, you can get addicted to power. You actually can. Why? Because you don't like the way you feel when you're not using that substance or that thing, that idea, that external thing that releases dopamine.

So remember addiction at its core actually doesn't solve for the emotions. that you're trying to get out of. It releases dopamine, the happiness neurotransmitter that feels good. It releases that on top of the emotions. So addictions never process the emotions that we're using them to get out of. Let me say that again in a different way.

The reason that we use any substance or anything external that's addictive. It's to change how we feel internally, our emotions. And addictions never actually fix the emotions. They temporarily relieve us from them. That's why when you vape, it doesn't actually feel good. It just kind of feels relieving.

And it does, I guess I should say that vaping does kind of feel good, but it's not the vaping itself. It's the dopamine rush that we're getting from our brain. It has nothing to do with the actual nicotine and everything to do with the dopamine. So important to understand that. Now, with that said, the reason why I'm talking about this today and doing this episode is because there's an old idea in psychology and in philosophy and in alchemy, it goes all the way back in spirituality, spirituality and religion.

And the idea is this, the thing that you need the most is in the place you're least. All right, let me say that again. The thing that you need the most is in the place you're least willing to look. And that means that anytime you want to move to the next stage of your life evolution or development or you want to achieve a goal that maybe you haven't achieved in the past, the place you need to go to achieve that goal or get that thing or get the gold or get the girl or get the dragon, kill the dragon, whatever it is, is the place you're least willing to go.

And that's the discomfort, right? The uncomfortable emotions. So when you're constantly using something to avoid those emotions, you're not allowing yourself to grow. And I'm saying this very intentionally today. I'm actually releasing this episode a day early on Halloween is my favorite day of the year.

And the reason why I'm doing this today so intentionally with this topic in this lesson is because Halloween is a symbol. This entire season where fall, the decay, the death is a symbol of releasing the things that no longer serve us. It's. It's all about death so that we can be rebirth again into the spring.

That's exactly what we are taught in a lot of different philosophies, a lot of different religions. So whether or not, again, you have a connection to any specific religion or philosophy, you can most likely trace this idea back to the fall. And it's important because if we want to grow, we have to be able to let go of some of us that no longer serves us.

And let me tell you a story really fast. I've been friends with this group of people since literally the year 2000. I'm 28 years old. It is 2023. That means since I was five years old, I've been friends with this group of people that live next door to me. And there was three of us, the Ciprianos, and then there was four of them.

Um, I don't, maybe I shouldn't say their last name, but there were seven of us all together. They grew up and we have been best friends, like really such good friends ever since. And It's gotten to the point over the last couple of years where I'm 28 now and it seems like that whole friend group in general, I love them so much, but it doesn't really serve me to be around them anymore.

And I felt some tension over the last, really the last two to three years, um, being around them. And I've ignored that tension, right? Because they're my comfort. I love them. I get to be around them. We get to dream together. We get to do all the fun, stupid stuff that kids do that 20 year olds do that feels good and it feels comfortable, even though it doesn't really serve the person you want to be.

And I decided, um, after spending the four days with them, This person that came from Miami and talking to them that the best thing I can do for myself, even though it's extremely painful and uncomfortable is to let go of this friend group. At least for the foreseeable future. And it's an issue, right?

Because so much of my life and my identity is tied into this friend group and it's very difficult. It's like, there's an idea with a lot of different things, but one of the ideas is the Phoenix, right? So if you don't know what the Phoenix says, it's kind of a, um, spiritual or philosophic bird that has to, it has to die in order to be reborn, right?

That's the idea of the Phoenix. It rises out of its own ashes. And I think that Halloween is a very symbolic time of that. So. In order to become the next version of myself, I have to go to places that I don't want to go, right? I have to cut off something that's no longer serving me, even though I love it.

And I think with a lot of you guys, you're doing the same thing with vaping. Like you see yourself and you identify as a vapor. It's part of who you are. You couldn't imagine your life without it, but it's like it's in that thing that you know, that's not good for you. It's in killing that part of you.

That you're going to be reborn. And I want to say something. The moment that I made the decision, the moment I made the decision to cut off my friends, two people bought a program that I've been trying to sell the vaping program out of nowhere. This has been just weird because just people I've never talked to before, which I, by the way, guys, I really appreciate it.

And I'm so excited to see you in the group calls and like, it's going to just blow your mind. And I'm so happy to have you and to just have you in this program and let it take as long as it takes. And we're going to get there together. And this is a great journey. So. Congratulations. Welcome. Thank you.

And then my friend went home and he made a decision to also release someone in his life who's no longer serving him. You could identify this as vaping as well. And immediately he just got an envelope. You guys, he got an envelope in the mail with a bunch of cash in it today. What? So it's in this thing, right?

So I want you to see like vaping is it's not just about vaping. It's never been about vaping to me. It's about all the energy, all the life force you're putting into this thing that isn't serving you. It's holding you back in the moment that you release it and you mean it and you really release it and you learn how to feel your emotions and you actually move through those emotions that you're avoiding.

That's when your life gets really juicy. Remember the thing that you need the most is in the place you're least willing to look. Another story that's kind of fun is, um, I'm going to butcher it, but this is my version of telling the story and you'll like it. So it's Halloween esque. Um, there's an old myth that the Holy Grail, right?

Like the grail that Jesus drank out of at the, the last supper, like that is a magical grail that can, whatever, make you live forever or do whatever. It does something. I don't care. Whatever you want to do, it does that. Okay. That's how the myth is going to go. So King Arthur wants to find it, right? King Arthur's like desperate to find the Holy Grail.

So he ends up like grabbing his men. And he says, whoever, can you bring me the Holy grail? We'll get all this golden riches and blah, blah, blah. So they ended up going because they have no idea where to start. So they end up going and finding the wise man in the town, right? He lives up on the mountain and like everyone's scared of him.

And they go to this wise man's land, the wizard, and they ask him, you know, where can we find this Holy grail? We need to find it. Blah, blah, blah. And the wizard's this wise guy. And he looks right at the men and he says, for each of you. You'll find the Holy Grail if you enter the forest in the place where it looks darkest to you.

That's where you will find your Holy Grail. And what it ends up happening is that he's saying to them, the thing that you need the most is in the place where it looks darkest for you to enter because you have the resistance to go there. That's what you need in order to become and to win the prize that you need to order become the person that you need to be.

And what I'm saying is that vaping isn't about quitting vaping. It's about becoming the kind of person who openly and courageously chooses to feel the emotions they've been avoiding in order to become the next level of themself. The reason why I have no desire to vape anymore truly is because I don't want to avoid my emotions anymore.

Not in that sense. I still do it occasionally, but not with nicotine. I don't identify as someone who vapes anymore. Identify myself as a courageous person who fights the dragon, right? I know it's so corny, but really that's what I identify myself as. The one who stands up as a beacon of hope and courage and strength for other people.

When I see myself that way, because I've transformed into someone who no longer needs nicotine, I don't desire to vape. What if it was that simple? So the thing that you need the most is in the place you're least willing to look. And I want you to carry this idea, not just into vaping, right? Vaping is a gateway into this idea.

There's emotions you're avoiding. Learn how to feel them. You no longer need nicotine. You become that strong version of yourself, but this is always going to be a repeating cycle in your life. And I think that falls a very good place to just take stock of what no longer serves you. Maybe there's people in your life that aren't good.

Maybe there's a job you don't want anymore. That you're using things like nicotine and alcohol to tolerate. Well, how do you fix that in your life while you start to go towards the emotions that you're avoiding? Stop avoiding the emotions. Because what happens is when we remove the things in our life that we're using to tolerate the lives that we're not happy in, that's when real change takes place.

I have clients who come to me a lot and they are very, very lost and they don't know what they want. I tell them, cut out the nicotine or the alcohol, cut all that shit out, and then come to me after all the emotions come up. Because the first three weeks to four weeks or five weeks of coaching. are going to be doing that anyway.

So it's like, just go cut out all the shit. And I promise you what's going to happen is all those emotions that you're avoiding are going to come up. And that's exactly where you have a foundation of change that can take place. But when we're constantly numbing ourselves with things that society has taught us to numb ourself with, by the way, so no shame, no guilt, like just notice that you're using nicotine well for a bunch of reasons, but also that society has made it very, very easy and desirable to use nicotine.

So it's not entirely your fault, but when you're constantly using things to avoid your emotions, it's very, very difficult to move forward in life. Okay, I said it before and one of my favorite people, her name is Brooke Castillo, she's the one that trained me with her certification program and coaching.

She's very good. She says that discomfort is the currency of your dreams. And there's so many different ways in life that this is going to be true for you. So just notice that if you're not allowing yourself to experience discomfort, you're never going to even be able to define your dreams. It's actually in the discomfort where you understand what you want and what you don't want.

Another one of my teachers, their name is Abraham Hicks, and they actually do law of attraction things. And whether or not you like the woo woo stuff, it makes sense applicably and practically that the whole point of life is to sift through things that you do want. That you don't want in order to know what you do want.

Without the things that you don't want, you don't have anything to aim at, right? Then we would just be in bliss and happy all the time, and we'd be eating cake and just celebrating all the time, and there'd be no point of growth and change in life. So, don't see the discomfort as something that's negative and bad and horrible because it's in that where you become the best.

version of yourself. And right now, especially today on fall and Halloween, this whole entire season of death and decay is the time to realize when some part of you needs to die in order to let the new part of you be reborn. And I promise you, if you mean this and you really commit to this and you invest or whatever it is, like you have the conversation with somebody or you decide in whatever it is you invest in the program or anything like that, you just make it very clear and intentional to the universe that you're serious and you mean business.

I promise you, you're going to get an immediate sign. from the universe that you're on the right path. I promise you it's impossible not to because immediately think of your energy like it can't have a vacuum. The moment that you clean up space energetically in your life for something to serve you, it'll be filled in by something that does.

So remember the thing that you need the most is in the place you're least willing to look. Okay. That means that the things that we're doing that we know deep down that aren't serving us. If we cut those out and it's painful and it's uncomfortable, then your life's going to get so much better. It's not about vaping.

It's not about friends that you've known forever that might not be serving you. It's about you deciding actively, courageously, and intentionally to become the best version of yourself. And then with honesty and so much love for yourself, asking, Is this serving me? If it's not, then what would my life be without this?

And it's kind of a scary question, but also a really exciting one. What would your life be without nicotine? You're going to have some fear come up. I promise you, you're going to be like, Oh my God, maybe it won't be as good. But then what also is going to happen is that little voice in the back of your mind's going to go, Hey, you know what?

Your life might be a fuck ton better without it. And then you get to be creative and you start to think of all the ways it serves you and you get too excited and then although you're kind of killing a part of yourself, it's a part that you're so ready to let go of and it hurts and the moment you actually committed that decision and you get that sign from the universe, you're so happy you did.

So, this has been a crazy episode, huh? I like the deep stuff, you guys. I used to work in a psychiatric hospital where I got to talk about like dark depression and like suicidal ideation and things like that and I'm, I'm like so here for it. So remember, it's not about vaping. It's about you deciding courageously to become the best version of yourself.

And I truly believe that the best version of myself isn't vaping. So I'm going to just extend that belief to you with so much love. Also, with that said, no shame, no guilt, no self judgment. Those are not emotions that Uh, foster growth. So love yourself, this whole process, and only then can you be courageous enough to be honest with yourself.

Okay, so I love you guys. He was kind. He was smart. He was important. Happy freaking Halloween. It's the best day ever. I don't know if y'all trick or treat still, or if you have kids, but like make them do that, please. Can we please bring that back? Cause in Michigan they do trunk or treat and that is not trick or treating.

I don't care what anybody says. Bring it back. It's the best day ever. I bought candy and I'm probably gonna have no kids come. So I'm just gonna eat it all myself, which isn't a bad thing, but I thank you guys so much for being here. Thank you. Have a fantastic day. I will see you next week. Um, enjoy your week.

Okay. Bye bye. What's up guys. I hope you're enjoying the show and that each episode is bringing you one step closer to becoming a non listener. If you'd like to take all this information to the next level and finally quit vaping for good, you can check out the course link in my bio. Have a great day. See you next week.