Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, A show about helping us embrace life with mindfulness and resilience through the wisdom of cons. Sugi, thanks for being part of our community. I'm psyched that you're here. I have a little story to share with you today. It's about backpacks. The other day I was in New York City.

I'm Park Avenue to be specific. With one of the world's leading financial institutions. I've helped them run a series to help them find micro moments of mindfulness moments, if you will, to pause, breathe, reflect, so they can navigate the uncertainty of their worlds both professionally and personally, with a bit more grace.

Find a way to slow down to make better decisions. They're feeling it. We're all feeling it. But what I love about this program is that this organization is filled with Type A personalities in the heart of New York City. Like we're in the belly of the beast and they're doing this and it's working and it's so cool.

I'm not gonna mention their name, but if I did, you would definitely know the company. And they have buildings all over New York City, really all over the world. A few days ago I was at their mothership, the big headquarters where the building went through a recent renovation. It was the first time I had been to this particular location and when I walked in it was, wow.

They did a pretty good job. It's pretty luxurious there. Pretty, she, she, and security, as they say up in Boston was wicked tight. I could not just skip up to the 36th floor where our program was being held. I needed an escort. And let me just say, when I got to the 36th floor, whoa. A spectacular view of New Jersey, which I know sounds a bit odd to pair the words spectacular with New Jersey, but.

It was a view, and New Jersey gets a bad rap. I've been here close to 30 years and the state has a lot going for it, so I don't like to hate on Jersey. But the view, the view was spectacular. So I waited in the lobby with others before I could be escorted up, and a few chairs down for me was a guy, he looked like a fresh NBA.

A great suit. He had his portfolio, which I'm sure had clean copies of his resume. He had all the vibes of, I really want this job. I'm nervous about this interview. He was also pretty tall, so he sat a bit awkward in his chair, and then the guy that I think was his first interview came down to escort him up.

He grabbed his portfolio and he grabbed his backpack. A black backpack wasn't too big, certainly not as bright and as big as the orange backpack I brought into the company. I didn't notice it at first when he was there sitting down, but I certainly noticed it when he walked away. Now, if you know my story, you know I have a thing for backpacks.

I talk about emptying your backpack all the time because before my last bad day, before my recovery. I had a backpack that was filled with a whole bunch of stuff. Some of it was good. Some things we put in our backpack can be very useful, but I put a whole bunch of stuff in there through my childhood, through my teenage years, through college, through my early professional life that weren't all that helpful.

When I first started putting my figurative rocks and my figurative backpack, it was no big deal. It wasn't that heavy. Over time, let me tell you, that thing weighed a ton, but I carried it around with me 'cause I didn't know any other way. I didn't know how to process my stress. I didn't know how to get in touch with my emotions and my feelings when something came up that was stressful or it would hurt, or I was disappointed or angry or sad or embarrassed or felt shame.

I didn't know what to do, so I just picked up the rock and said I would deal with it later, and I put the rock in my backpack and I would carry it around with me. Everywhere I went, we all seemed to walk around with a backpack. But the thing is, prior to my last bad day, I never noticed anyone else's backpack.

I wasn't all that empathetic. I was just trying to do my thing. I was trying to figure life out, just trying to get ahead, trying to survive, try to do the right thing. I really didn't know what I was doing. I had no solid foundation whatsoever, and then I had my accident and that blew apart my backpack, rocks, and all.

Then I had to go out and buy a new backpack. Let's call that my orange backpack, and through my recovery to feel whole again. I've been trying to put good things in that backpack. So when that guy stood up to walk to his interview, I got curious. I wondered what was in his backpack. Now, I didn't rush off and ask 'em.

That would be a little weird and awkward, and they probably would've kicked me out of the building. But I did wonder, I wondered what he was bringing into his interviews, what was in his backpack, things that could help him, or things that would be little inner critic messages that would keep him from sharing all his skills, all his energy.

An amazing thing happens when we start to look around. We have a practice of mindfulness, we can start to see that everyone around us also has a backpack and we have no idea what's in their backpack. It's a little bit like the story of the iceberg I shared a couple weeks ago. We all carry a whole bunch of stuff in our backpacks.

Those backpacks that we don't see. Seth Godin. Put out a blog post. He's been on whole again, back when it was the Kintsugi podcast, and I loved what he shared about his take on backpacks. And I would love to share the last sentence from his blog post with you because I think it can help us in today's times when we feel so divided, when everything is moving so quickly, sometimes we can get really into ourselves and we forget those around us.

The way through all this stuff that we've been dealing with is acknowledging that we're all carrying a backpack around. And I would love to share his last sentence of that post with you, seeing that everyone has a backpack, that's the first step towards empathy, realizing that everyone else has a backpack and that it's different from yours.

How true is that? The backpack you carry around with you is much different than mine, and it's much different from that guy who was coming in to do some interviews, which I hope we got the job if it's the job that he wanted to get. But when we pause, take a breath, and reflect. We have a better opportunity to hear and see and appreciate each other more.

Appreciate that we're all carrying stuff, and maybe that's the first step we can take to soften our stance. When someone doesn't show up the way we want them to, or the way that is consistent with the way that we want to show up, we all show up differently because we all have different stuff in our backpack and that makes us incredibly human.

It's part of our Kintsugi in a way. And if we can see that or when we see that we can offer each other a bit more grace and compassion, and maybe that's a way as a society, we can start to take a step towards feeling whole again.

I am so glad you're here and part of our community. Because you can share this concept with your friends and family and colleagues and pedal forward with the notion that, yeah, we're all carrying something. And if we can give people the benefit of the doubt, or at least assume at first good intentions, maybe that's our pathway to greater connect.

If you haven't yet signed up for my free supportive text messages that I send out a few times during the week, you still can do so. All you have to do is text whole again to 8 6 6 6 1 2 4 6 0 4. I'll set you up

and if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, Michael O'Brien schiff.com. And sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect, and join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.

Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this. And we've got you.