Hey, and welcome back to the show.

This is your host, Kristen.

Today we are going to talk about you don't have to do it all.

How can we let go, lean in and live lighter?

Because so many of us are holding on to so much, so many of us are trying to do it all for everyone and then wondering why we're exhausted.

So we're going to talk about what are five steps that we can take to try to release that part of us, right, that wants to hold on to that control.

We're going to talk about why it's so important to let other people do things for us or and also just why mentally, physically, from a stress perspective, this is so important and why we don't need to earn rest.

So that's what we're going to talk about today.

Have you ever imagined building a life you love but got stuck in between the what ifs, expectations and obligations in your life?

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Hi, I'm your host, Kristin, an encourager, a faith led entrepreneur, a mom and a wife.

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So here's the first thing.

I have absolutely been in this place and I know so many of you probably can relate this as well.

We try to do 16 things in a day or we say yes to everything.

And in some cases no one even asked us to do anything.

But we still take it on.

There's so many reasons for this.

For some of it, some of us, it's people pleasing.

For some of it us, it's a codependency.

For some of us, it's because we don't even realize what subconsciously we feel like we are.

We validate our existence or that we can't rest until we do right, until we accomplish.

And so a lot of these patterns start when we're young, right?

We saw something or heard something or we internalize something, even if it isn't the message that someone wanted to convey to us, especially if we were young.

But we started basically acting in These patterns, you know that.

Or maybe it's my kids can never do it right or my spouse can never do it right, so I just do it.

I don't even ask them.

But once again, we're layering on top of ourselves.

More burdens, more a longer to do list.

And then we're wondering why.

We're burned out, we're exhausted.

We don't feel like we have a lot of joy in our lives.

But it's because we aren't conditioning ourselves to say no.

We're not conditioning ourselves to let other people help, even imperfectly.

We are not allowing other people to participate.

And because of all of that, we're worn out.

And I don't know about you, but I'm done.

I am ready to say no.

I have walked through those days and I don't want to keep walking through those days anymore.

I don't want to feel guilty because I say I don't have the energy to do X, Y or Z today.

In some cases, it might be the laundry or it might be dinner or maybe it's that I feel prompted to go visit somebody.

And I, believe me, I am a social person, so I love my time with people.

But there are some times where I feel pressure, right?

Because I haven't seen a certain person a while.

And so I start feeling pressure, then I start feeling guilty, or, you know, it.

But it starts weighing on me and.

And I'm going to say, enough.

I don't want to feel that way anymore.

Listen, I gave up doing the laundry for my whole household many years ago.

Now my sons are college age or just passed.

They all live at home as they're going through college or looking or getting that first career job.

But here's the thing.

I don't mind doing laundry, especially if it's towels and blankets.

And I will definitely still do that.

But what I quit is I quit folding clothes.

Now my husband does it, or we grab our own clothes.

And sometimes it means that beside the dryer there's a pile of clothes because someone didn't get their clothes.

But I have decided that I am more willing to stay see that pile of clothing, sit there, even though I do not like it, versus having to be the person that was responsible for folding the clothes and much rather cook dinner and do other things.

And so today's conversation is all about you don't have to do it all.

And you can give your permission to yourself to let it go, to say it's okay, we do not have to be perfect or even try to be perfect.

And so today is all about how can we live lighter.

I'm going to give you five tips or in tools and shifts that can help you reframe trying to do it all for everyone else and maybe what's behind some of these things.

But before we do, I'm just going to share a couple things with you.

First is most women, we tend to have a tend and befriend stress response.

And what is that?

It's, it's where women often respond to stress by caring for others more than other people.

Right.

We over give, we overdo.

We want to make sure everyone's needs are taken care of.

And one study was from Shelly Taylor at UCLA center for the Neurobiology of Stress.

But basically over giving and overdoing it doesn't.

It is not healthy long term for us.

And I've shared this before, I don't know if I've shared it recently on this podcast, but 80% of all chronic illness diagnoses are in women.

And the reason they say that is the case is because women either repress or suppress.

I'm sorry, women more than men is what I should say.

We repress and we suppress our needs and desires because we put other people first.

We are the caregivers, we are the helpers, which is a good thing.

But it is not a good thing if it's to the detriment of our mental and physical health.

And so we have got to start realizing that us doing too much, taking on too many things, adding to our to do list, never saying no, never taking a break or a night off, it is harming us.

It is not just our stress level.

It is harming us physically, it's harming us mentally.

It may be hurting our relationships.

Right.

Straining them.

And so this is really important.

This is not just a, oh, that'd be great, but you know what, I have a lot to do, so sorry.

Right.

That's, that's not it.

This is actually hurting our quality of life and our long term health outcomes.

Okay.

The next is.

Dr. Robin Miller said the mental load is the thinking work women do that's never seen and never stops.

How many of you can relate to this?

I know I can.

And there is a 2021 Bright Horizons survey that says 86% of women manage all family responsibilities, even when working full time.

And the, the invisible labor contributes to burnout, resentment and lack of rest.

So what are we talking about here?

We are talking about that in a lot of households, whether married or single.

Right.

A divorced woman, she is planning, organizing, taking possibly, you know, kids to appointments.

And I'm not saying men don't do that.

Obviously men do do that, but often it's more women.

But we're also thinking about, what do we need for the party?

What are the gifts we have to get for the upcoming event or party?

Did I get birthday cards?

You know, like, what am I going to make for dinner?

Even when we go on a trip, if it's not where you're going to eat out every meal, you're still planning, what is everything I have to bring?

Do I need to bring toilet paper, paper towels?

Do I need to bring beach towels and regular towels?

Do I need to bring the salt and the oil in the, you know, storage containers or Ziploc baggies?

But we are constantly thinking of every single thing that we need to remember because typically no one else is going to do it.

So it's either we do it or this is how we feel, or it will not get done.

So that is the mental load that a lot of times people don't even see beyond the possible housework, beyond maybe the other things you do around the house, whether it's the laundry or making dinner or all of the above.

Those are on top of all the physical demands that we have on ourselves and all the location demands, meaning the.

All the places we have to go and be for the people we love or the people we're helping.

All right, the next thing is for those of you that are faith based.

I, you know, I share this many times and I talk about my faith on the podcast.

You know, I am a Christian, and for me, this is true.

So whether you're a Christian or not, this is an important concept.

Rest is biblical and necessary.

Now, if you're someone that's faith based, like me, you're going to, you know, know about the Sabbath and understand that.

But basically, the Sabbath was designed by God, and it's not for us to be punished.

The Sabbath is actually supposed to be a day of rest, a day of renewal and refreshing, a day to connect with God, with other people.

And then it's also a day that we're supposed to delight and find joy in our lives, right?

In a slower pace, getting outside in, you know, big nature, you know, seeing God and all the small miraculous things.

The seed that's become a flower, the tree that's bearing fruit, you know, whatever it is.

And Dallas Willard said this quote that I really like.

He says, if you do not come apart for a while, you'll come apart.

In other words, if you don't take a rest, it's going to take over you.

And I can't find it in this book, but I thought it was in the book, let's call it the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer.

But whether it was in this book or another book, basically what he gives an example of is there is a pastor and he, for I think it was close to a year, he didn't take a break.

Obviously, pastors usually work on Sunday, which can be considered the traditional Sabbath, Saturday or Sunday.

Right.

Depends on when you start it.

But a lot of times pastors might take a Sabbath on a Monday or some other day, but he didn't take a Sabbath.

He was just busy all the time.

He never rested.

Well, he ended up burning out and having to take an actual break, right?

Like step away from the church.

And it took him as many days of to recover or weeks.

I can't remember that it was that he didn't take the Sabbath.

In other words, we can try to avoid it.

We can try to pretend we don't need this rest day each week.

But we've been designed, humans have been designed to take a day where we rest.

Whichever day it is isn't as important.

If we don't take that day, if we just work seven days a week, if we just toil seven days a week, it will eventually catch up with us.

Maybe not in a week, maybe not in a month or even a year, but eventually we will have burnout or we will have a health crisis or something else.

We were literally designed to take a break from all of the work that we're doing the rest of the week.

It is a day to cherish and acknowledge all the blessings that we have in our lives.

And so that's just some background that I wanted to kind of set up before we step through, through some specific tools in mindset shifts that we can have.

Okay.

And I did want to share this quote with you.

It's by Bob Goff in his book Undistracted, and he's talking about happiness.

But it.

I think this has a lot to do with doing too much and allowing ourselves to let go of some of the stuff we're doing.

Here's what he says.

Okay.

How many decisions would you guess you make in a typical day?

A dozen?

100?

Does 1000 sound a little closer?

Get this.

Each of US makes about 35,000 decisions every day.

More if you spend an hour in a candy store.

Some decisions are mundane and some are major.

We decide where we will live.

If we will marry and who we will marry.

Sorry, we decide.

Let's see, the job we will accept and the one we will quit.

The car we will buy or the bus we will take, the cake or the vegetables we'll eat Anyways, he goes on to say who will who we will believe and who we won't, where we will go and how long we'll stay, the faith we will embrace or ignore, and the countless other decisions.

But here's the important part I wanted to share, he says.

Here's a surprising thing, though.

Most of us never decide to be happy, I bet most of us think.

I mean, most of us think happy is a result of other choices.

But that's not at all.

That's not all of it.

Sure, circumstances can be truly awful, but feeling happy is a choice just like any other.

It's not that we don't want to be happy.

We just get distracted by so many unhappy things that we never get back around to happiness.

Perhaps we think we need an invitation or permission to be happy.

And what if we want happy feelings to transition into a deep and abiding joy with longer shelf life?

And basically he just says most people think they'll find happiness at home, but the hard truth is they aren't around long enough to experience what's already waiting for them there.

Simple and complicated distractions take us away from the people we love.

When this occurs, the result is both subtle and toxic.

We start to settle for proximity rather than presence with each other.

Know what I mean?

You will know this is happening if you only listen for the highlights in your loved ones conversations without taking note of the emotions and body language that are also present in the room.

These distractions are masked in familiar disguises like career appointments and promotions.

They invade our homes and come to trust as extracurricular activities, sports and electronic screens.

They look like business calls and video games and zoom conferences and television shows in committees and meetings and sometimes even churches.

If we want to live more undistracted lives, we need to get real and admit that busyness is actually hijacking our joy.

Here's the good news.

We can fix all this just as easily as we messed it up.

Get a couple of baseball gloves and talk to your loved one about your day as you throw the ball around.

If you answer your cell phone while playing catch, you lose teeth.

This is what it looks like to really get some skin in the game.

And he says do this with some urgency too.

You don't have as much time as you think you have.

Take it from a guy who's been around for a while.

There's a saying that I found to be generally true.

The days are long, but the years are short.

If you fill your days with trivial stuff, you will look up one day in a year or a decade or a half century will have passed.

Don't wait until you're old to ask yourself, what have I done with all that time?

Why not ask yourself right now?

What am I going to do with all the time ahead of me?

What do you want your answer to be?

Once you've decided what you want your future to look like, make a couple of moves like your life actually is actually yours to live.

Because it is.

Quit the job, call the friend, make the apology, launch the dream.

Take the shot.

Heaven is just hoping we will.

Oh, and while we're talking about right instead sorry that we don't have to do it all, I think we also need to reflect.

And we need to do the right things.

We need to be present and we need to put people before tasks and people before extra work hours.

And we need to say no to the things that are hurting our relationships.

No to the things that allow us to tap into our talents and our gifts.

Because if you never say no, then someone else is creating or deciding what you spend your time on during your day.

Say no, I'm not going to make it to the volunteer meeting.

Say no, my kid can't come tonight.

We have a family dinner.

Say no to your boss that you cannot work until 10pm when you're supposed to give up at 5.

We have to take back control of our lives.

But that starts with being intentional and knowing what it is we want our life to be full of.

Okay, so now I want to share with you some of those ways that we can stop doing it all and that we can let go and live lighter.

All right, so the first one is we can learn to reframe, right?

We can reframe how we're living and what we're asking.

So how does this work?

This is an exercise.

And so get a piece of paper and a pen and you're going to think.

You're going to ask, what am I really responsible for?

So write down.

You can write that down.

And then.

Or you can write this down.

Is this mine to carry?

Or am I carrying it because I feel guilty or I feel needed or I feel like I must.

All right, so what am I really responsible for?

Is this mine to carry?

Or am I carrying it because.

And you can fill that in, but because you feel Guilty because you feel it makes you feel needed because you don't think anyone else will do it.

Like, what's.

What is it?

And then you're going to make a list, okay?

So below that, make a list of what am I currently doing?

Okay?

And then you're going to list out every single thing you're currently doing.

You can do that for the day, in the week, the month, however you want to do it.

But you just want to have a snapshot of all the things you're doing.

And this is everything.

This is that you're the person planning the birthday parties this month for your family.

You're the person making dinner every night.

You're the person driving your kids to carpool.

You are doing the laundry.

You're planning the vacation.

Like, write it all down, whether you do it this month or this week or every day, okay?

And if you want to note that, you can, you know, is it daily, weekly, monthly, yearly?

But once you write all those things down, you want to star which ones no one's asked you to do.

In other words, star the ones that if you didn't do it, could someone else do it?

Could someone else be responsible for it?

Does it have to be you?

Okay.

And once you get done with this and take some time if you need to after that, then we want to come up with a list of what can I let go of?

Which of these things can I let go of?

And later we'll talk about how we might do that.

But this is where we start realizing, am I holding on to and am I doing all of these things that I could ask for help from other people or I could do it with someone else or whatever it might be, or some things you might just be able to say, you know what?

Not today, friend.

Like, I'm not making dinner seven nights a week or six nights a week.

I'm only going to make dinner four nights a week the other three nights.

We've got to figure it out, But I'm not going to do it right.

Like, we.

We need to have some boundaries.

All right?

The next is, this is hard for a lot of us.

How can we let other people help?

And I promise you, in so many things people do, it is not going to be in the same way that you would do it or I would do it.

They will do it different.

But if we want to get some of our life back, some of our hours back, some of our sanity back, we're going to have to set down the platter of the to do list.

Set down all the things we're trying to take on and understand that we're going to have to let other people in.

Okay, so here's what you want to ask yourself.

What if letting go of perfection is actually an invitation to deeper connection?

And then here is your task for the week.

And no, I'm not giving you more tasks.

I'm trying to take something off your plate.

Can you delegate one thing or one task this week to someone else and do not correct it?

So this is partly on you.

You can give it to someone else, but then you cannot tell them they did it wrong.

So this can be that you're going to ask your.

Your spouse, if you're married, to do something, or a roommate if you're not.

This can be that you're going to ask a sibling.

If you have a sibling.

You know, maybe it has to do with one of your parents.

Maybe you have older children and you're going to ask one of your kids to do this thing.

Maybe you always do the laundry because you want it done a certain way, or maybe you always vacuum because your kids don't do it well enough.

Hello, I'm right there with you.

Because my kids do vacuum, but they don't always do it as well as I would do it.

Let's be honest.

They don't want to do it.

So they speed through sometimes.

But what is one thing you can offload or.

Or maybe it's at work, wherever it.

Or maybe it's at your church where you volunteer.

Okay, so that is, how can we let other people help?

And much like the list above where you listed, what am I currently doing besides delegating one task to someone?

I would say go a step further and look at that list and write the name down beside the things that aren't really yours to own and do.

Who could do this thing?

Or at least who could share doing the thing with you?

Maybe it's that, you know, like, I vacuum sometimes, but I have my kids do it more often because I have other things to do, right?

Other chores, cooking, other things that they're not doing.

So.

But I'm telling you, once you start spending a little time on this, and then once you start getting used.

Comfortable with this, which it won't be comfortable at first.

That is when over time, you start realizing, like, oh, well, I was gonna go pick up three things at the store.

Well, could you ask someone else to go pick up the thing that you forgot?

Or because you've already been to the store three times in the last three days that's only if you're like me.

I mean, I go to the store, I feel like I bought all the things.

I even buy extra of those things.

And then on occasion I decide to make a different recipe for something and lo and behold, I will not have an ingredient on hand.

It is the most frustrating thing, but I usually will go back to the store myself.

But on an occasion, I will ask one of my kids or my spouse.

All right, so that's the second thing, right?

The first thing is what am I really responsible for in writing a list?

Second is how can you let other people in?

How can you let other people help you or do the things and just you might reflect too.

Like, what's behind that that you feel like you have to do all the things?

Is it that you feel like you learned that when you were young if you had to get everything done right, A tidy room, get your chores done, get straight A's for you to feel loved, even though that might not have been the case, that's how you felt, Is it that you felt like you can't rest until everything's done because that makes you a.

Makes you less than a great mom.

Like, what's behind your feelings?

Like, let yourself feel it.

Because the honest truth is most of us ignore our feelings.

We just press them down, we repress them.

We don't.

We're not honest about them.

We suppress and repress, like I talked about earlier.

And then we wonder why we feel stressed out and miserable and just really irritated with maybe someone in our life.

Because we're not.

We're not asking for help or we've asked for help and we don't feel like they do what we've asked, which is a different thing, right?

And that's something that has to get addressed at some point.

All right, number three, set A, done is done limit.

Pick a daily end time, after which you rest without earning it.

This is going to be different for everybody, depending on your work hours, depending on your family situation.

But for instance, if you say 8pm I'm done, regardless of what I've gotten done, maybe for you it's 9 or 10pm I don't know.

But the dishes can wait or the laundry can wait, the email can wait, something can wait.

And then allow yourself to rest.

Not do the Christmas cards or the thank you notes, not to start going through your emails to delete them.

Like, say to yourself, like, I'm shutting it down.

I'm shutting down the to dos for the day.

And if this is hard for you, maybe you just pick one night a week that you say, you know what, after 6pm or 7pm I am taking the night off.

Maybe that's not doable for you multiple nights a week right now, but maybe one night a week is all right, so that's the done is done limit.

And I know that's not easy, but I absolutely have gotten better at this.

I've gotten better at saying mentally I feel tapped out.

Physically I'm starting to feel drained.

You know, normally it's after dinner, I've been cleaning up a bit and you know, I've gotten off my computer and I, I feel like I'm not at like normal speed, like I'm slowing down a bit.

That's when I know it's time to stop all the stuff, go out back, sit outside in nature, listen to the birds, you know, or maybe a little bit later turn on the music or maybe watch something on tv.

All right, the next thing up, right, we're going to in this, look, this is, this is something that I know is not going to be easy for everybody and it's not something I do all the time either.

But we're going to do an affirmation and I get it for some of you this is going to be like no way not happening.

But if we tell ourselves self kind things, we're more likely to believe it.

We can't always be so hard on ourselves.

And often for those of us that have people pleasing or codependent type patterns of behavior, right, like we do too many things, we think we need to to do more.

We don't feel like we can rest, which I was there.

But over the years I have shifted into.

I know that I need rest, I know that I need slowness in order to do the work I'm doing, in order to show up as my best self to serve other people, right?

To do things for the people around me.

Okay, so you're going to say I am not more loved when I finish the to do list.

I am loved because I am God's.

And you can obviously also add Bible scripture to that if that aligns with you.

But the, the point is I am loved and worthy even when I'm still right.

In other words, I do not have to do more before I rest.

So say any one of those things.

You can make up your own statement, but start telling yourself something so that you are reminded that you do not have to check off your entire to do list to do everything on your list before you can sit down and take a break.

Because how are we going to show up tomorrow in tomorrow's day if we never have a minute to rest or renew or reflect?

We're just not.

Because eventually that pattern is going to burn us out.

Okay.

All right, the next thing, the last one I want to share with you is a another thing to write down or a journal prompt.

And here is what we're going to ask.

Where did I learn I had to be the one who holds it all together.

Let that sink in.

Now, for some of us, this might be the question to ask.

Where did I learn I had to be the one who holds it all together.

But for some of you, it might be a slightly different statement.

It might be, where did I learn that I had to make everyone happy?

Where did I learn that to feel loved, I had to make sure I took care of everyone else's needs?

And maybe those questions bring something up for you.

Write that down.

Maybe it's different, but.

But I'm gonna guess we all have something deep down we haven't.

Maybe we haven't even thought of yet, but that there's something behind all the things we're doing.

And when I say all the things I should say, all the extra things are piling on right where we say, I better just do it, they're not gonna do it, or they're not doing it the way I want it, or, you know, oh, I can just do everything.

You don't have to bring anything.

Like, I'll just, I'll make everything right.

Like, what, what are the patterns?

And then after you write down that question, start thinking about and write down what comes to you.

Like, can you think of family patterns or beliefs you have, maybe church messages or culture?

What did it tell you?

That can be about being a parent, about being a godly woman, it can be about just being a woman.

It can be about being part of your family, how they always were.

But just start figuring out, was something said or did you have to be a certain way, you know, when you were young, and that's the only way that you got attention or felt loved or felt like you.

They gave you a gold star, like your parents or your church or whatever.

And then you can ask yourself, is that still serving me or costing me my peace?

Right?

Like, is this concept or are these things, are these beliefs, is it serving me or is it costing me my peace?

And really think about, can you change that pattern?

And here's the good news.

There are so many books that talk about and address, you know, people pleasing patterns about changing how we look at things about changing our patterns, our habits.

And one book I've dug into in the last couple months is the Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins.

That's a really good book.

And it's really just about letting everyone in your life be them.

It's about letting us realize that we, we do not have to control them or our circumstances.

The only thing we control is us and our response.

So it's a really great, a really honest book and it has great tools and tips about this Let Them theory.

But I'll just share one little bit with you in it.

Okay.

So she says the real reason you are exhausted all the time.

And she says, according to Dr. Aditi, seven out of 10 people are currently living in a chronic state of stress.

And she says, I used to be one of them.

When you live in a state of chronic stress, you are locked in a constant state of fight or flight.

Your amygdala is humming in the background, always on.

And then she goes on later to say, which is why you must solve this problem.

Stop allowing other people to create unnecessary, unnecessary stress in your life.

There's too much at stake.

You deserve to live a good life, but you'll never be able to if you're always in survival mode.

You'll never get that project done this weekend if you keep procrastinating because of stress.

You need to have more fun, but you won't allow yourself to have it.

If you can't disconnect from work, you should be more present and connected to your spouse.

But you never will if you're constantly doom scrolling the life you've always wanted, excuse me, is right in front of you.

But you will never reach for it if your inner critic is constantly telling you not to.

Stress is a major problem and it's time to deal with it.

And she goes on and talks about that, but I'm gonna skip and just share this one bit with you.

It says, own your reactions.

Take your power back.

On that note, let's go back to me on the plane with the guy who's coughing behind me.

I'm getting more and more stressed.

I can't focus on the work I need to get done.

And I feel like a caged animal sitting there strapped to my seat.

So how do I use the let them, let them theory to get someone to stop coughing?

You don't.

You have to let them cough.

Let them.

I know.

Hear me out.

Yes, it was stressing me out.

Yes, I thought he was rude for not covering his mouth.

And yes, I was worried about getting Sick.

But let's come back to control.

What could I control in this situation?

I couldn't control whether or not another person was coughing.

I could only control how I responded to the coughing.

Focusing on what you can't control makes you stressed.

Focusing on what you can control makes you powerful.

And that brings me to another important point.

Who is responsible for me not getting sick?

Me or the stranger on a plane?

Me.

I'm responsible for my health.

It's not the guy's responsibility to stop coughing because I want him to.

It's my responsibility to respond in a way that takes care of my needs.

I know what you are thinking.

Shouldn't everybody cover their mouth?

Shouldn't everybody wash their hands?

Shouldn't everybody follow basic guidelines of decency?

Of course they should.

But a lot of people don't.

My point is trying to manage someone else or a situation that is beyond your control is only going to cause more stress.

I could get mad.

I could keep turning around.

I could yell at the flight attendant.

I could get frustrated and yell at the guy.

But to what end?

Isn't there a more obvious and powerful solution right in front of my face?

I'm offering you a pragmatic and strategic approach to life.

Instead of getting enraged in my seat, I just let him cough.

And then I let me focus on the simple actions I could take in order to protect myself.

I'm going to cover my nose and mouth with my scarf, I thought, and I'm going to put my headphones on to drown out the coughing.

And that's what I did.

And with my scarf over my nose and mouth, I turned up my music and my headphones.

Problem solved.

Every time you say let them, you acknowledge that you cannot control the situation is stressing you out.

When you say let me, you are following Dr. Aditi's advice and focusing on what you can control, which is your response to these stress, stressful situations.

Right?

So friends, what I want to say as we wrap up is just this.

You don't have to do it all.

So you can let go.

You can lean in to designing and creating a life that you want to have.

You don't have to say yes to everything.

You can quit things on Thursdays, which I'll explain in a minute.

And you can let people be.

You can stop trying to control circumstances, stop trying to control people on how they do something.

You can stop trying to be everything, everybody.

Because there's no way we can maintain that level.

And you can allow yourself to rest and live lighter.

The quitting things on Thursday.

I shared this on my other podcast this week, but it's basically Bob Goff talks about on every Thursday he quits something.

And normally he says they're good things he quits.

He might quit being on a board for a nonprofit.

He might quit, you know, I don't know.

Certain phone call he has, but he quit something because he says, I have a lot of good things in my life, but my, my schedule gets too full.

So I have a day where I quit things.

Now, it doesn't mean he never allows new things in, but his point is, every week he reassesses, what do I need to let go of?

And that's what I would say to you.

Let them live their lives the way they're going to live it.

Let go of the things that are no longer serving or fulfilling you.

You.

And let go of the tasks and responsibility or people pleasing.

That is not giving you peace and it is not helping you, especially if someone else can do it.

And I should just say this.

There are going to be times and seasons where we have to do more than is humanly possible.

There are going to be days or times or seasons where there is no one else.

Right?

If you are in a caregiving season and you are the primary caregiver, if you're going through a diagnosis, I understand that.

But you still can ask for help.

You can still do what you have to do and have moments where you say, I need to rest.

That's what I need.

Or maybe line someone up to caregive for you so that you can get a break.

But I do understand there are circumstances where that is not feasible or likely in certain situations.

And to you, I would just say do what you can in the moments that you have to be renewed to refresh yourself.

That might be just reading something uplifting.

It might be just having a quiet moment, taking a minute to pray, taking a minute to meditate.

But there's usually a way forward.

And I get it that there are certain seasons that are exhausting and it's not our doing.

And I absolutely understand that.

And I'm.

I'm here with you and, and just encourage you.

Just find someone, a support group, a friend that you can at least offload your feelings, your exhaustion, because sometimes we just need to release that tension, even if we can't physically change our situation or even if we don't have someone to take some of our responsibility away from us.

So until next time, I hope this episode gave you some food for thought.

I hope that you can take something away from it and I will just share with you.

In the last couple months I have really had to kind of pause producing regular content for building a life you love podcast for the most part.

Continued the Faithfield Woman Podcast the honest truth is, over the last couple months I was struggling with trying to do too many things, feeling overwhelmed, walking through grief of my dad passing, a friend passing.

Even this week I had a friend pass two days ago and believe me, I didn't get much of anything done yesterday or the day before.

I mean nothing really.

And that's okay.

But what I'm why I'm bringing this up is I will be getting back to this.

I will be coming to you in the coming month or two with new conversations and guest interviews and powerful tools and resources because it is important to me.

But I just was in a season where I couldn't carry it.

I had to set it down and then see how I could reach, revamp and redesign it to align with how I've changed and where I'm at in life.

And so I'm still going to be here for you.

And in the meantime, check out my website, KristinFitch.com I have a couple really great resources there for you.

One is called Rewire your mind and it is a free download where it helps you go through some exercises, much like things that I share today to help you shift your perspective and shift your mindset.

So that might be a great tool for you after listening to today's episode.

And you'll also then be part of my email newsletter, part of my community.

So until next time, I hope that you find some time to just live a little lighter and let go of something.

And thanks again for listening in.

And if you enjoyed the show, we'd to love love it if you'd subscribe and leave us a review and rating on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

And you can check out freebies and resources we have for you@kristenfitch.com and if you have ideas for the show or guests that you'd like to recommend, I'd love to hear from you.

So DM me on Instagram hristenfitch or you can email me from the website.

Thanks so much.

Until next time, have a great week.