Hi everybody. And welcome to another episode of Bitcoin Homeschoolers. This is Scott Lindberg. Today is going to be a little bit different. In this episode, Tali had someone that she wanted to interview and just to be candid with everybody. Tali and I sometimes disagree. This is a feature, not a bug in a relationship to work things out. I was not, uh, this was not my idea and I was not for initially. However, I think what you're going to hear is pretty special. It's a pretty impactful change that someone is experienced and I'll let Tali explain the details of what I'm talking about next. Enjoy. So the reason I wanted to do this interview is to help people who may be meeting some resistance from their families when they talk about homeschooling. When Scott and I announced that we were going to homeschool 20 some years ago. We stood alone. On both sides of our families. They did not understand why we would not put our kids in schools. And. It was a lonely decision and a lonely journey. Recently my mother-in-law said, you know, I'm so glad you decided to homeschool. And if I had to do it all over again. I would have considered homeschooling myself. That was such affirmation for our efforts. And it's the reason why I wanted to share this episode with you. I wanted to share with you the point of view of someone who initially disagree with homeschooling who is now a homeschooling supporter. So here we go. My conversation with my mother-in-law elaine so, oh, I think that it would be interesting for people to hear yours perspective because you came in, you were kind of forced into this thing. And she has to, I kind of roped you into this thing and I think it will be interesting for, um, people who are literally sitting on the fence about whether to go into or not going to it, to see it from both perspectives. And then also with the benefit of hindsight, looking back. Yeah. Two decades of experiences. And that's a lot of changes though, because my husband and I both had pretty positive public school times. Um, Our kids did. So. When our grandkids. Could go into public school. And the bus stopping at our driveway. It's like, why don't they just go on the bus and go to school? Actually looking back on our, around that time is when I saw a lot of changes in the schools. And some, I wasn't ready to accept too easily. I was getting kind of angry and I was really glad that our kids were not in school anymore. And I thought that the, um, the teachers were too politically involved. Not all of them, but the teachers who made a difference were few and far between. And they ended up retiring. So you see this whole change over and how the kids were thinking. And, um, I didn't like it. Got to a point where if I had a choice. Because I wasn't ready for, I didn't think I was qualified to be a homeschool teacher. That I would put them in private school. Yeah, so just, just, uh, by way of background, you worked in the administrative office for a high school. You were in the high school and you were observing this both from the point of view of a parent and as an administrator. Uh, and you were able to see how the teachers interacted with the principal and you also were involved between them. And in the public. Right. So that, so you worked there for over 20 years and you retire from there. so you're speaking from a unique perspective. Got it from all ends. Yeah. And our, as I said, our kids, of course, everyone knew us. So they knew our kids. Maybe they had some special attention, not, not too much, but. When the kids were in school, they were in top notch classes. I think at that time, I was impressed with the teachers because they taught towards the highest intellectual students. They helped the ones with IEPs. The middle of the road, the ones that haven't started even blossoming yet were ignored. What is IEP? Individual educational plan. Like if you're deaf or if you have a learning disability or anything like that, they write it up. So you get special attention in that field too. This was in the late 1980s IEP. And they go on forever. They're still, it's still, their kids have a problem. Okay. It's pinpointed and they gave him an IEP. Right. So, um, Our son, not, not Scott, but the other one had an IEP because of the speech. Okay, so, um, not unusual, but. Uh, if you were just an average kid, better hang on because you didn't get too much attention. That's kind of sad because a lot of kids don't start developing until a little bit older. So. So, what was your biggest concern when we told you that we were going to homeschool? Oh, my God. I couldn't even imagine where you would start. I was concerned that there wasn't a lot of social activity for them. That actually probably was the first thing that crossed off the list because of church groups, playgroups. Any type of group, you can get it in. I think it's still overwhelming if you're not enthusiastic about it. I think that I think you need that. 'cause there's a lot available. But the point is, do you have enough energy to ask for it? Do you want to become vulnerable enough to ask somebody for help. Um, But I was really impressed with all the different things that you could do with kids. You know, um, I forgot the name of the place that we went to in Cleveland, and it's like a little house. The kids were very small. One, one whole room was the sandbox. I was more excited about staying there then. That's where, I mean, but there was so much to give them. Um, but you, you have to give somewhat of yourself. I really, I really think that makes it obviously because the four of yours are, are fabulous. They have spun off in all different directions. They're extremely comfortable within their own skin. Which is wonderful. Hm. Mmm. Even our other two grandchildren that went to regular high school, public schools. I don't find them as independent. Or they don't seem to come across as self-assured. And I think nowadays that's not really important. To feel that you're you feel good about yourself? To stand up for yourself. And your beliefs. You know, and I don't think you get that very much in high school. It's it's very tough. I think it's tough in, in today's. Well, maybe even, always in a school. I mean, you don't belong in the right group or the right click life isn't too easy. But if you feel really good about yourself in your own skin, It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. Yeah. So can you contrast what you observed in the school system you worked in and what you observed our four kids were doing. Well, the four kids went on to there at their own speed. I don't think you see that so much in the high school, unless you're on that the highest track that you could be. Because you can take off more or less on your own. But your four they're they're all different. They all have their weaknesses and their strengths. But they didn't have to stay put if one person was behind. They could continue in anything. I think that's a real plus, I don't believe in holding somebody back, waiting for somebody else. And even it could be the youngest who's the head of the oldest. Because it can work out that way. So I think that's a big plus. Yeah. As I said, the biggest thing I find is the maturity. The way they speak. The way they handle themselves in a crowd. Even though they say they're not comfortable. They come across as. Um, I was really impressed. They were very young and they had to give a short speech in front of, I think it was two or 300 people and they were given something to say, They didn't flinch. Absolutely unbelievable. And I said, they must feel so good about themselves. And of course we can go also down to the beginning. Then their first time on, on the stage and their ballet costumes. And I think. Nolan was a duck. Was he a duck? He was a duck. Um, when he was three, when his first time on stage, he was, he was wearing the green vest. He was two. Okay, this is when he took a bow to the chat, the end. And he gave the audience his fanny. And it was the hit of the whole show. You know, And he was not embarrassed. He thought this was the way it was supposed to be. And, um, It's just little things like that then. Yeah. So much fun. Yeah. And to watch them grow up and they have fun in their shows, in their singing groups. In their athletic groups. And I still think it goes back to the parents. As parents. I have to be involved. You have to know your children, you just can't give it off to somebody else. Even more so in public school. Because you don't see them for eight hours a day. And maybe that the other, the other program that was really excellent was that. English program. That they had an Iowa. What was the name of that? I think it was classical conversation. And I sat in with one of those classes for three hours. I was totally shocked. I said we would never get this and to structure your sentences and. I mean, we did that and that's 50 years ago. But here, these kids are doing it and they have a basis of the English language. How to structure sentences and to write. You don't get that in school anymore. So it was going back to basics. Yeah, but you're not going to get that in public school. So a lot of people when they think socialization is interesting, I actually had a conversation with a young person the other day about socialization. And in his definition, he said, well, socialization means you are knowledgeable about what's going on in culture. As in, you know, all this the slang words and you know, all the sexual references and, you know, like in his mind, socialization equals the opposite of innocence. And I just never would have thought of. Where that way? No. Because that was my question to him was like, do you think, because he has observed our family. And, and I said do you think that homeschoolers need help socializing. I in my head, the answer I expected was no, because like you said, They know how to carry themselves in different situations, but in his mind he said, He said no, because he thought my kids were too innocent. They didn't know about the ways of the world. Maybe. Maybe, because I don't know what's in their heads. But they certainly understand. They may not speak it, accept it or whatever. But they certainly know what's going on. And they know most terminology. And they're also free to, to learn all this without somebody over them saying, you have to read this now and you have to do this now. And you have to do that. You have to socialize with somebody else now. They don't need that. I don't think so. No. They pick it up, they pick it up naturally as long as it's, if it's available to them. I mean, if you're going to put them in a cage for eighteen years and say you're going to be homeschool. Well, they're not going to turn out too well. Right. And the same thing. They go to public school and you don't know anything about what they're doing or who they're doing it with. What's the difference. Right. So, yeah, you have to know. Yeah. Um, I just think what we have seen and the kids that we have met through our grandchildren. They're charming. And they're happy. And they're and they're smart. They are really smart. And, um, they didn't take a crowbar to hit them over the head to learn it. They also were taught different ways. I mean, the math that was taught them, I wouldn't know how to I'd have to figure it out the old fashioned way, give them an answer and then work backwards. But that's even true in public school. It's not taught the same way. But they seem to have picked up on it. And they didn't stay with one chapter for a week. They stayed on it, as long as it took them to understand how to do it. Right. So that's my favorite part of homeschooling. You don't have to be, you don't have to feel like you're being pushed from the back to catch up to the crowd. Right? If you need more time, you just need more time in. In the end what matters is that you understood it and you absorbed the lesson. Not that you could pass a test at. At the end. Yeah. You can pass a test with a score of 80. And the 20 points that you missed could be critical for you to understand the next level, but you didn't get it because you passed it at 80. Right, right, right. So I think that gap is what's missing a lot in our current system. You, you miss whatever it, you miss to get the required grade to move on to the next level, but then you get more and more behind because you're missing pockets. The part you miss as a cumulative, right? Yeah, the. The other thing is the classics that they read. They can't do that very much in schools very much anymore. They worry about more what's in the library shelf then what they're reading. Um, the more they read, the more they learn on their own. Their vocabulary is good. They know how to use the library system that can use the computers. Um, they go away from home and they're comfortable. Amazing. Yeah. So what did you see in the public school system over the last 20 years that made you more and more concerned? Um, I would, the first thing would be the lack of discipline. The lack of respect for elders. I think it's just a horrible attitude that a lot of these young people have. I don't know it's because it's one of the first, well, not the first by the second now generation of coming home to nobody. Which I think. We could tell that in the school system, This group coming up. It's the first group that the parents were working and nobody was home. Huge huge dif difference in their personalities. Um, Discipline. Suspensions. All of that. And that hasn't changed. That's gotten worse. So the parents again are not part of their children. And I think parents have to be there one way or the other. You can't hand it off to somebody else. I think they're two major reasons why there's a generation of kids that come home with no parents at home. One is really the financial need, because I think there are a lot of couples who would rather have one stay at home, but they can't afford it. So the mom must work. That's one reason, but the other reason also, I think. There was a really huge push when I was growing up that a woman should be able to do it all. You should be able to have a career that's meaningful and you should be a mother and you should make sure the house is beautiful. It can be done. Because I didn't go back full time. Um, till, um, the kids for, at school full time. But I left after they did. And I was home in the house 15 minutes before they got home. Because I always felt if you don't catch him when they walked through the door that something's wrong you don't know. And that's, and that's where I stayed. Especially the boys. I feel like the girls might tell you. Around the kitchen. Boys are just terrible. Just terrible. And, um, and I'm glad cause I built up a nice relationship with them. And I was there. They knew that they could count on me. Yeah. And as I said, I think, I think it's important for a parent to be a parent. Yeah, it's a big job. It doesn't go away. I do think there is that lie though that's been circulating for a few decades where you should be able to do all of it. Like you can actually not use use, not just you shouldn't use all of it. That you should have all of it. You should have that career and you should have your children because you have all of these other things that you can implement. Yeah. So that you can have children like daycare centers and extended school hours and all of those things in place. Maybe if you don't do all of it, like take it. Don't take advantage of every daycare. I don't take advantage of every afterschool program. Don't join every club. Don't extend your hours and don't extend your kids out. Some of these elementary kids come home on the bus at four 30 in the afternoon. Um, I said their day is longer than mine. Yeah. I said, what, what are they doing after school for that length at the time? They're tired. You know, so I think maybe women tried to do at all. I don't think anybody can do it all. I don't think so. Men can do it all either. No, you can't be the perfect father. The perfect breadwinner. The perfect. No one is perfect. But if you can work out a niche that you're happy and doing what you're doing. And you can grow and your kids are happy doing what they're doing and you have a life together that you're growing together. That's a good thing. But if you're working because you want a million dollar home. And right now the kids are, are kind of in your way because you have to put more hours in. I don't think that's fair because they didn't ask for that either. I guess it depends on what you think is really important. I don't know if you know those, but I had a lot of conversations with the kids about me going back to work. Yeah. 'cause I told them, I'm like, you know, if mom went back to work our finances will be less tight. And we can live in a nicer house. Yeah. And you guys can go to public school or private school and you know, we will, we will have a different life, right? Yeah. And I asked them all four of them, this several times every time there's a job change. We had the same conversation. And unanimously, they would say let's just settle for less material things. And let's just keep homeschooling. So we finished homeschooling because everybody was on board. Again, you did it as a unit. You can't do it if one person wants it, then the other person isn't supportive. He can't have one. One parent saying, if you want to do that, that's fine. But count me out. Can't act that does not work. Yeah. Now you don't have to sit there at the desk, but maybe you could help with driving around in the evening if they have extra things or something like that, but everybody has to participate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So some actually participate better than others. But I also was very surprised to see how homeschoolers share. Yeah. What do you remember? Um, They were going to in a private school to do their sciences. But they have a tight group when they were doing this theater stuff. I remember helping out making costumes. I mean, everything was, um A joint thing. Hmm. And you have to be able to change. I have to adjust. Okay. You can do this for a couple of years in. You'll get through. You know, we'll do that do the studying this way, or two of you will do this and I'll help with the other two. I think being open as the only way you can do it, if you want a black and white printout once a week from somebody at St. Homeschool of, so we'll do this this week. That's not going to work. Yeah. Stay flexible, really flexible. And it's always changing. We never had one year that was the same as the other, nothing. Nothing was the same. Yeah. And that's what was so cool. It's really neat. Um, and that sh I think it showed. Brianna. I don't know if she realized that's how bright she is. I always thought she was bright cause she's my granddaughter. But when she went to, um, it was in the evening and it was, um, at a Sunday school. And she wanted to get a badge. There were 10 of them. And she had to memorize something each week. And the second week she walked in she she said all 10. And then, and then she said, I like my badge now. And she didn't call back. But she memorize all 10. Yeah. And I said, At shows that she had the incentive to finish. Uh, I thought that was a wonderful incentive on her part. And if she really didn't want to go back, she got rid of it really fast. And as she got extra points and she, you could go shopping in their special store. And to say, I am, it brings tears to my eyes. She bought, she bought me a Bible. Which I still have really. And I thought that was unbelievably sweet. And. How much meant to her? And then she gave it to me. Yeah. So you see all these different things, but she, when she pulled that in that classroom, I almost died. She said, well, all 10 verses and I want my badge now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the end of that. That was the cubbies. That was the cubbies program. That's right. I think that's one thing that I have noticed a lot in the homeschooling community. I just feel like. most I was in most children. Most babies are born with just the most loving heart and is slowly the heart gets squashed or at least walls get put up and so you don't see the tenderness anymore. But what I see in homeschooling kids most of the time is that they remain tenderhearted. Well, they're in their twenties or most of them and they still come here. They're still very loving. Um, I'm very thankful that at least the girls share. And working on the boys, but, um, They're lovely to have around. Yeah. Yeah. I never say, oh my God, they're coming. We look forward to it. You. You know, and we enjoy that. Yeah. And you can enjoy them one on one or one on 15 or how many there are. And the biggest compliment is that they bring their other partners home now. Um, that says a lot. Yeah. Cause a lot of my friends, they said they don't even see their grandkids. They have no idea who they're going out with. They have no idea what they want to do with their life. That's what my kids said when they came back from from the overseas. Program. They said that they're the only ones that talk to their families most of the time. Yeah. And all the other friends are like, why would you talk to your family and tell them about stuff like that? Well, like, why not? Why not? Yeah, because that, that unit is so strong. Yeah, that is there that's our go to unit. It can say anything, be anyone with them. No exception. And no one's going to criticize you. So that's important. Yeah. And it continues as you can see that they're growing up to young adults and. They're still acting the same way. Yeah. Okay. So from the point of view of grandparents, Who have observed as over the last two decades. What would you say to new parents today who are standing on the fence about homeschooling? And they're not sure whether or not they want to jump in. I'd say, go for it. It's always, I mean, you can always change. You can always tweak what you've decided. And before they decide to, to go to home school, that they should evaluate their own schedules. And do they have the time to fully devote to homeschooling? Because it's not a part-time thing. That's a good point. It. That's true. But you can. Put them in what I would call a part-time private school. And not have to homeschool any of the subjects. You're just a supervisor to make sure that kids do their assignments and that's tweaking. And the option or homeschooling or not. As I said, um, I'm not for public schools anymore. I don't, I don't like what's happening to them. And they're totally political. As far as I'm concerned and they're teaching our children not to be children. I just really am very fearful for. Can you give us more examples about what you're fearing and what you mean? They have all these explicit sexual books on the library shelf. Am I a boy, am I a girl, this type of thing. And these children have to be children to make decisions and you do it by maturity step-by-step not by having somebody hand you a book or groom you or groom. Hmm. So. That's my biggest fear. Okay. So. Right. What do you think. Well, I mean, again, homeschooling as a. In my opinion as a major commitment that, uh, is not to be taken lightly. So, if one is going to step into that arena, they really got to research what they're going to be involved with before they step out, or they know that they're getting what they're getting into and do it. Because it's not something they can practice on. Without, uh, I mean, you just have to get into it, but you have to get some, do some research too. It's not it's, it's not a. Easy subject. I mean, Your kids' education is priority one. Yeah, sure. So if you guys were. Just starting out today. Based on everything that you have learned, observed experience the last few decades, but now assuming that you're standing. Here. You're 30 years old and you've got young children. What was you do in today's environment? I guess my first thought would either be private school or homeschooling of some sort. But I, without hesitation. Well, the career of the family is important too, for the financial wellbeing and the economic success of the family. So. Um, As a father and a grandfather. I feel the responsibility to. To bring home the bacon, so to speak. And that's important. Um, now if homeschooling is part of that, then so be it. But yeah, it might not be able to be if, if my requirement for travel is excessive. So, and that was the case when. We were that age. But that's where you take everything into consideration, a whole family unit what's going to work. It's a big decision. Is it a. And actually we were talking about this before, just because your kids go to public school, it doesn't mean you're doomed for demise, right? There are a lot of things that you can do at home to supplement. Yes, without any question, and you can go to school board meetings and you can. You know, Again, Parent teacher association meetings be involved and go to. The teacher meetings. To see what we don't know what or. If you're, if their kids are in public school. To attend the public school where you're the play, the student, you go to different teachers. That way you get to see what your kid's really hearing. Hopefully. Yeah, they have meetings. You can you follow the kids schedule? But you have to be involved. Bottom line. Very committed. Yeah. No matter what you do. Yeah. Cool. Anything else you want to add? No. That's good. Thank you so much. That's awesome. Best. Best of luck to anybody's listening. Yeah So that was my father-in-law who hopped on last minute. I hope you enjoy this episode. See you next time Sure.