Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

your host Aurora. And I'm very happy to be spending some time

with you today. It is Monday. And yeah, Monday and Thursdays

are the days I publish my episodes. And I usually only

record my episodes shortly before except when it's

interviews. And because I love what I do so much, it doesn't

feel like now I have to do this, I have to go into my room and

record something for you. It is something that truly brings me

joy. And to receive your feedback is so incredibly

precious to hear your comments out. To connect with you is

just, yeah, such a blessing. And this is why it doesn't really

feel like work. Of course, there's days where I feel not as

motivated and creative as others. But I feel it's a

beautiful way to connect with people from all around the world

and to share my thoughts, my feelings, my tips and tricks

with people who might need them is is a source of deep

satisfaction. If you ever feel ready to engage on a coaching,

journey with me, please don't hold back. It's an incredible

journey that can be very fun and revealing. And can be a little

bit uncomfortable at times. But all in all, the people I've

coached so far experienced a beautiful shift in their reality

in their life and their way they perceive life and their

relationships, were able to go deeper. They were more clear

about what they wanted in life. And it's just so beautiful to

see a person blossom and get unstuck. It's just like when a

truck gets stuck in the heavy mud, or in this deep sand. And

you get to empower people and provide people with tools that

can help them, help them get unstuck. You can always reach

out to me on Facebook, and I'll be excited to hear you out and

see if we are a match. Today I want to talk about silly little

arguments. I thought about what I was going to talk about today

and I was like, shit, there's so much going on in this world. And

chances are that you watch the news. And you know that yeah, we

as humanity are going through a deep circle, times of darkness,

despair and confusion. There's also people who will thrive and

are very happy and in a good place. But the majority of

people it's like suffering right now. And so I thought about our

daily lives, even though there is you know, big stuff going on

in the world. We still have our daily lives, we still have our

little conflicts that need resolution. And sometimes you

can't find resolution right away. And sometimes you want to

was that argument even necessary. So that is what I

want to talk about today. Sometimes, there's energy

building up inside of ourselves, you know, we consume content.

That irritates us, that scares us that annoys us. And we have

kind of that build up or negativity inside of ourselves.

And then we meet with a partner with a friend with a stranger.

And they say something that deeply triggers us and now all

of a sudden all that shit that has been accumulated inside of

us is being unloaded into that little argument into that

situation into that, you know, person thing that triggered us.

And sometimes it's not fair because that person has nothing

to do with our build up from previous stuff. But they just

said that wrong thing, they just did that wrong thing. And it

just, yeah gave us an opportunity to let it all out.

Another thing I want to talk about is that sometimes our

perception is so different, we perceive life so differently,

and we have a totally different interpretation. When it comes to

certain situations, for example, tech a, person A, and person B,

watching an accident, a traffic accident happening. And you'll

ask these people separately on what they saw. And sometimes you

think that those people have been in different parts of the

world, but certainly not at a similar location watching the

same accident. And why is that I believe that this is genetically

a genetic disposition on how we perceive life, the experiences

we have made, and so many more things play into how we perceive

life. There has been reached research done, for example, on

children, because a couple of people noticed that there's some

children and playgrounds that are very brave, and they just

climb around everything and, you know, balance over chords, or,

you know, shaky bridges. And then there's the other kids who

prefer to play in the sand and don't want to engage in any kind

of adventure. And if those kids who play in the sand and don't

want to engage in an adventure, are being placed on a bridge,

they suddenly freak out and, and, you know, cry and want to

crawl off that bridge. And it's a very, you know, dramatic

situation for them compared to the little guys who were

balancing on the bridge all along and swinging as high as

possible. And they noticed that children are wired very

differently. And it doesn't matter if you're a boy or girl,

it has nothing to do with gender, it has everything to do

with your nervous system, and how you process thing and how

you perceive something as dangerous. We all have a

threshold when it comes to danger when fear kicks in when

our nervous system feels triggered to fight or flight or

freeze. But it is all very very different when that state is

being ignited. And same goes with silly little arguments at

times with our spouse, with our partners with our siblings with

parents. We perceive a situation very differently than they do.

We express how we feel and for some reason, they might not

validate how we feel because they perceive the situation very

differently. And it can go the other way around as well that

you are in an argument where you cannot make sense why the other

person is feeling attacked or triggered or you know scared

because you perceive a certain situation very differently. I

want to share with you a quick little story here years ago, it

was around daylight savings time. And there was person a

feeling very affected about the time change. Person A got up in

the morning and felt drained. Person A went through the day

and come 3pm was not done with half of the to do list that he

or she wants to get done and meets with his partner

and the partner as well. How are you feeling? What's going on in

your life today? And personaje just says, Hey, like that

daylight savings is just throwing me totally off. I'm so

tired, I feel rushed. It's, it's a little bit of a mess today.

and person B, just nearly falls of her chair. And can like can't

make sense of why Daylight Saving can affect you, as no

effect on her. So why would it have an effect on the other

person? And so they start arguing and 15 minutes go by and

after 15 minutes, they both come to conclusion and say, Yeah, but

what the heck are we actually arguing about? What is it all

about, you have this view, this is how you feel about the

situation, I have this view, is how I feel about the situation.

So there's absolutely no point why we should argue about this,

because our perception is just so incredibly different. I hope

you can follow me, I hope it's not all too confusing what I'm

sharing with you today. But I feel peace of mind. Peace in

general, starts with us. We don't need to call on poutine or

Ukraine or Russia or China or whatever is going on in the

world right now. How are you dealing with your little micro

conflicts on a daily basis, if not on a daily basis, in your

daily life. And this will show how resilient you are, how at

peace you are with yourself and the people around you and how

much you have insights about the other people around you and how

much you're open to see that. You can watch the same movie

with five friends of yours, and you will all see a different

movie. We all operate on a different level. And this is

what makes life so incredibly juicy, especially romantic

relationships when two people come together and are completely

open with each other. Because that is when you learn from

another person that is when you truly learn. What makes the

other person tick. Who's the other person? What, what am I

made of? What can I share with this other person and I explore

this in my program that I'm just setting up for you guys and

girls out there on how to Yeah, explore your past, present or

future romantic relationships and how to become a better

lover, how to connect more deeply with the people around

you. And the better we know how another person is perceiving the

world, the better we get along with them. Because then we don't

need to argue them. We don't need to try and make a point

because we know okay, that person is wired differently. And

it's totally valid, because in the long run, I'm going to learn

from them and maybe adapt or not, it's totally fine. But I'm

going to accept them for who they are. And I'm going to make

them feel validated on how they feel. And that is so extremely

important. Does that mean that we have to overly compromise and

that we're always going to be on the same page that we are never

going to dis agree again? Certainly not my dear conflict

is always going to be part of human relations. And it's

healthy, it is good. A person who tries to avoid conflict at

all cost is missing out on a lot of good information there

because the way people argue with each other tells a lot

about their relationship. Can they keep it calm? Can they you

know, keep it civil? Or is it very passionate, but they are

not harming each other? Is it very destructive and violent?

Then you need to get help from the outside. But arguments

conflicts are always going to be there and it's a good thing. You

can't avoid them. You shouldn't avoid them. But what you can

learn is to enter a conflict with a little bit more of an

open mind and strong tools on how to To get your point across

at the same time being open to listen to the other person, but

being firm with how you feel. And then again, open about to

hear the other person on how they feel. This is what you'll

be learning. If you enter my coaching program about

relationships. I'm very excited to create it for you right now.

And to make you a better partner, lover, friend, sibling,

father, mother, whatever relationship you want to be

working on. All right, I'll leave you with this. For now.

take really good care of yourself. I will have a shower

and a big glass of water. And if you haven't drank enough water

today, I encourage you to do that and take a deep breath. And

know that creating peace inside of you is easier than you might

think. And it is so incredibly critical. And these crazy times

that we live in, I'm so grateful to be able to serve you. I'm so

grateful to be able to hear you out. And if ever you have a

request when it comes to topics, please let me know and I'll make

it happen. Take care. Until next time, bye bye, Aurora.