Welcome to the quit vaping podcast, the podcast designed to make you a non listener in this show. I'm not going to scare you away from a life of vaping. What I am going to do is show you just how good your life can be without it. Thank you so much for listening and enjoy the show. Hey, what's up guys.

Welcome back to the quit vaping podcast. As always, I'm your host, Andrew Cipriano. And I really hope that this is one of the last episodes you have to listen to in order to quit vaping. Should that be your desire? So, uh, today we're going to talk about. My dad a little bit and how his story with cigarettes and actually what I'd recommend you don't do because I'm seeing this in real time, what he's doing.

But just as a really quick side note, I want to thank you all for listening to the podcast so far. I've had about 3, 100 unique listeners and that's pretty cool because I went to high school. Um, almost 10 years ago, my region's coming up, but about 10 years ago, I was in a high school that had about 2, 600 people in the entire school.

So I just think it's so cool that I can get on a platform where I like imagine myself up on the stage, talking to every single person and then 500 more people in my high school, helping them with a problem they need help with. So really cool, huge honor. I appreciate it greatly. And just as a tip for anyone who wants to start a business or put yourself out in the world.

Make it really easy and searchable like let Google and everybody do the search results for you. And like literally just name your crap to quit vaping podcasts and everybody will find it who needs it. All right. So today we're gonna talk about my dad and. I want to tell you the story. So a couple of weeks ago, I don't know when I recorded this episode, my dad got news that both of the main arteries in his legs and both legs were a hundred percent blocked.

Didn't know that was possible. That was a shock to the whole family. Um, and it's from smoking is what the doctor said. It makes sense. So my dad started smoking. He was actually kind of late. He started smoking when he was about 26, about 27. So kind of my age. Um, and I started cigarettes and cigars when I was like 16, 17.

So, um, I actually am surprised that he started so late to learn this because I've always known my dad is a smoker. Uh, my dad has smoked for about 40 years and he got to the point where he was smoking two packs, a little more than two packs a day, which for anyone who doesn't know there's 20 cigarettes in a pack, that's 40 cigarettes.

That's like, holy crap. I used to like time and pay attention as a kid. I'm like, you know, cause as a kid, I was like appalled because I hated the smell. Like he smokes in the house, all that kind of stuff. So I'd like pay attention and judge. You know, lovingly, my dad, I try not to do that anymore. He used to smoke cigarette every seven minutes, every seven minutes of cigarette.

And like a cigarette, it's a big ordeal, you know, like you're lighting that thing. Once it's lit, you got to keep it lit. If by the time you put it out, it's wasted, like, and it smells, it's stinky. It's a whole thing. So that's a lot. And my dad, he actually ended up quitting. So. He did quit and what he did was the willpower method.

So anyone who has listened to this podcast before, you know that I don't recommend the willpower method. And what that is is when you're just trying to force yourself to quit without understanding why you have a desire to quit in the first place or why you have a desire to smoke in the first place.

And what I do is called causal coaching, which means we get to the cause or the root of the issue. So I see smoking as a symptom of a deeper problem. And remember, I don't always see smoking or vaping as a problem. But when it becomes a habit or a really an addiction that you no longer want, then it becomes a problem in your life, right?

So if you want to solve a problem, you get to the actual root and the root of the problem is always your emotions. The experiences in your body and your thoughts, the sentences in your mind. So my dad quit with willpower. And what that means is that he just forced himself to quit. This is a very hard headed, old style, old school, Italian way of doing things.

That's how he's always done things, but you know, I have better tools now. So that's what you're going to get in this podcast. So I would recommend that you don't quit with willpower because when you quit with willpower, you're actually fighting your urges. Never good to be fighting yourself on anything.

Cause when you're fighting with yourself, guess what? You always lose. And then you're also fighting your belief systems. So what my dad's doing right now, and I know this is true because he bought a cigar last week, so clearly he still wants nicotine or else he wouldn't be buying cigars, but he's lying to himself.

His entire justification for cigars. And I'm not, I'm not judging him by the way. I'm not saying dad, you shouldn't be smoking data. I hate you, dad. You're the worst person in the world. Like I'm not doing that, but I said, Hey, are you smoking? How's that going? And he lied initially, right? Cause there's shame involved.

Cause he doesn't want to be smoking and he doesn't want to have to bring it up and he doesn't want to get judged. So whenever, just on a quick side note, whenever you're trying to help someone in your family, first of all, you want to check your intention. Why do you want to help them? Most likely it's because of a judgment of how you think they should live their life.

So I'd cut that just stop doing it. And then the other part is like if you actually do want to help someone if you think that they're struggling and they need help And they've asked for help and they don't know how to help themselves and they actually want it You don't ever want to judge them because the moment that you judge you cut them off from actually getting the help Because now they feel shame and guilt or they get defensive either way not gonna help them.

So don't do that So I'm like genuinely talk to my dad. I'm like well Why are you smoking cigars? Like, I'm genuinely, I'm not judging you. It's okay. But why? Like, what's the thought going on in your mind to where that's okay with cigarettes aren't? And he's like, well, cigars, you don't inhale. So my dad's still getting nicotine.

He just telling himself he's not getting nicotine. That's the justification, right? So I can tell right from there, from that entire action that he's taking, that that's a willpower method quitting because he still wants nicotine. He doesn't know why he wants it. He doesn't know how to process urges. And he's just going to.

Uh, really for my eyes, he's going to lie to himself in order to keep using nicotine. So that's a hundred percent willpower method all the way. And what you want to do if you actually want to quit is you want to get to the root belief systems like my dad still believes, I know he does because he says he's stressed.

He always brings up the word stress. He believes that nicotine helps with stress. Now that's completely a thought fallacy. That is a thought error if you actually get to the root of it, because if you're addicted to something, it does not help with stress. It might cover up the stress with a dopamine hit.

And I've talked about that in other episodes, but it doesn't actually relieve the stress. And in addition, it actually makes more stress because now you're addicted to something and the reaction in your body to addiction is actually to create physical stress and physical anxiety until you get that substance again.

So overall, if you're actually just being logical about it, addiction makes more stress overall in your life than it could ever solve, which it doesn't solve. It just covers up. Right? So remember, I do causal coaching. That means I get to the root. We don't ever want to cover up a symptom and tell you the problem is solved.

But I see that's what's happening a lot with most people when they try to quit. So, like I've said in other episodes, the solution for my dad is twofold. My dad is strong enough in his body to just totally get over nicotine addiction because it's really not a strong addiction. It lasts two to three weeks at the very most and it's mildly uncomfortable.

But the big addiction, the one that really helps, like hurts people, is the mental addiction to nicotine. And that is caused by you resisting your urges, fighting yourself on your urges instead of allowing them. And then the other part of that is that you're fighting your belief systems. My dad still believes that his life is better with nicotine.

So when he doesn't use nicotine, there's a cognitive dissonance where, well, I believe that I should have this in my life's better, but I'm not using it. So there's this tension, right? Again, you're fighting yourself. The way to clean with no desire. You guys, I do not have a desire for nicotine. I am not lying to myself.

I literally was around my brothers last night. They were at, we're at a bonfire in Michigan. We do bonfires in Michigan out in the Bayou. And there were cigarettes and cigars and vapes there last night. And I don't have a desire to use it. And you're like, Andrew, how is that possible? You have no desire.

How is it possible? You don't have to use willpower because I no longer have beliefs in my life that nicotine is serving me. When I stopped believing that there's genuinely no use for nicotine in my life, like I genuinely don't need it in my life to enjoy my life. I don't desire it. The hit that you get from nicotine isn't even enjoyable.

The first time it's after you get addicted to it, it starts to feel good. But itself like nicotine itself is just a poison so for me to see it that way and actually believe that's what it is I'm not lying to myself. I'm not gaslighting myself. You know, what's so funny is people tell me I'm gaslighting myself and it's like no You're the one that's gaslighting yourself.

You're using nicotine all the time You're addicted to a substance that you don't need because you've been told that it helps you with stress And because you've been told that it's important and it makes you manly and courageous or womanly or whatever like look cool and sexy And it's like it doesn't do any of those things.

You know, what's cool and sexy and I look for this in a partner emotional regulation. You know what addiction doesn't allow you to have emotional regulation. So what my dad's done is force himself to quit. And he actually did quit for about three weeks to the best of all of our knowledge, but he's lying to himself.

So he's definitely lying to us about it out of shame and guilt, which is okay. Um, no judgment there. I get it. I get what he's going through, but he doesn't actually want to stop seeing nicotine is desirable. And when you don't want to stop seeing nicotine is desirable, you're always going to fight yourself.

You're always going to be a willpower. You're quitter because in your mind, you haven't quit. It doesn't matter if you're physically not addicted to nicotine. If you're mentally still addicted, that's actually the bigger addiction. Like you want to get to the point where you don't desire it anymore and you know why you don't desire it anymore.

You want to get to the point where you can allow an urge in your body without resisting it, right? So that's what the willpower is. That's why it's called willpower. You're resisting your urge. You're saying I shouldn't want this No, I know I want it, but I shouldn't want it like you're at war with yourself The conversation in my head is I don't want it I allow myself to have it if I want it Andrew if you want to go use that and that's like that's for you if you want it if you think your life will get Better with it and you want to quote unquote enjoy your night go using the vape It's the funniest thing.

It's like, I don't want it. It's like, no, I, I'm not fighting myself. I'm not trying to restrict myself. It's like, if I want to go do it, I can go do it. Not a big deal. I do the same thing with food. Now, you know, once you learn this skill emotionally and in your mind, you can bring it to any other area of your life.

That's why life coaching is so effective. It's not just like you're learning how to quit vaping. You're learning how to process your emotions and be at peace with yourself. Well, guess what? When you do that, your whole life gets better. But most people do the same thing with food, right? They're like, no, I shouldn't want cake.

I hate myself for wanting it. Well, it's like, of course you want cake. It's designed for your brain to want it. Of course you want nicotine. It's designed for your brain to want it. It releases a like ungodly amount of dopamine in your head. It feels good when you, when you hit a vape and it's not actually the nicotine that feels good.

It's the dopamine release, right? It's the happiness chemical. So like, of course you want it. Your brain is actually designed to want that. But I know with my actual, like longterm thinking, loving adult brain, I don't want. Nicotine, it's not going to serve me. Actually, if I use nicotine today, my life will be worse later.

I, I'm sure of that and knowing that and being an adult and actually trying to create the life that I want and become the person that I want to nicotine just doesn't fit into that life. Like I cannot imagine myself on a stage even in like four months or a year or two years helping people with their mental health.

Helping coach them and still wanting to think about nicotine and being addicted to that and think oh my god I want to vape. Oh, I got to go ahead my vape one minute Let me get off this stage to go hit my vape There's just not even a desire or like it just doesn't even cross my mind you guys there are literally weeks now where I forget that Uh, nicotine use, the only time I remember I'm like, Oh, somebody's got a vape.

I totally forgot about those. It's so weird. Or, or I'll see like, I'll be on a beautiful nature walk and there's like five vapes thrown on the ground smashed because everyone who uses nicotine like has that cognitive war with themself where they're like, I hate myself and I'm like treat the world like crap too.

Not really, but I've seen it, right? I used to think like that because I was addicted to something I didn't want to be addicted to. I was also resentful and I was resentful with myself, but God forbid me explain that to myself. No, no, no, no. I better be resentful with the rest of the world. Blame the tobacco companies, blame my job for hating it, right?

Like when you take emotional responsibility for the nicotine usage that you no longer want to use, again, I'm not anti nicotine. That's not what I am, but I'm anti nicotine when people don't want to use it. I'm anti drug addiction when people don't want to be addicted to drugs. So most people hit that point with nicotine.

Most people hit that point in vaping and cigarettes and everything and there's this cognitive war and when you're in this battle with yourself, Not only are you constantly fighting yourself on life, but you actually can't create the life that you want because when you're fighting with yourself, guess what?

You're not creating the life that you want for yourself because creating the life that you want, going after your dreams, loving yourself deeply and intimately so that you can go after what you want, even though it's scary. Well that doesn't really come easily when you're addicted to something and you don't want to be addicted to something because you're in a mental battle with yourself.

It's hard to build a loving relationship with yourself when you're constantly lying to yourself. So it's not about quitting nicotine. That's not the battle I have. It's about becoming the best version of yourself. And I can't imagine that someone who's addicted to drugs of any kind is becoming the best version of themself.

So don't be like my dad. I love him. He's a great father, but he's such a hardheaded Italian guy who's going to be addicted mentally to nicotine the rest of his life because he will not open up the possibility to see that maybe. He has some emotional problems to learn how to process and he has some belief systems that are just creating a lot of suffering that's completely unnecessary.

If you want to quit vaping, I can help you. Hopefully this podcast is doing that. Um, if you guys haven't rated this podcast, please do that. I think it's so cool that I have a podcast doing this and like leave some five star reviews and if you hate it, leave some one star reviews so I can do better. All right.

You guys have a fantastic day. Uh, enjoy your. The beginning of spring that we got here. See you next week.