Janice Porter: Hello, hello, and welcome to this week's episode
of relationships rule. I am thrilled to have with me today,
St. Rappaport, who actually we met on LinkedIn. And I always
love that because I start from scratch and then I meet a new
connection who turns into a relationship and who knows where
it's gonna go. And this is where it led us. First and foremost.
So first of all, welcome to the show. S T.
ST Rappaport: Oh, thank you so much, Janice. I'm super excited,
really excited to be here.
Janice Porter: I can't not ask this question because I'm all
about names. And I'm all about sort of word oranges, origins
and people's origins. So I have to first say is your first and
second name s start with St. Is it something that was because
your name is hard to pronounce? Or was it a nickname that how
did you come up with S T?
ST Rappaport: Yeah, so my name is SD. Like four letters es T
Iris to buy. Like Estee like Estee Lauder. Just impressed.
Yes. spelled differently. Right. Exactly. Um, but when I was in
school, I decided four letters was too long. And so it didn't
make my teachers happy. But oh, so
Janice Porter: that long ago that long? Because I think SD is
third or fourth grade. Already named es TI. It's very pretty.
Does it? How does it mean? What does it mean? And what language
did that come from?
ST Rappaport: It's from Esther from keeper.
Janice Porter: Yes. That's what I thought, Okay. Because my
grandma's name was Esther. Yeah, they called her se, e s. S i e.
And I don't know if if you know this, but in the Jewish
religion, when you when you name a child, you, you have to name
them after someone who's deceased, not someone who's
living right. Not like John Jr. So I wanted to name my daughter
after my grandma. But who died when I was very young. But SE
and Esther didn't work for me at that point. Hang on. So I was
looking to name my daughter after my grandma. But I didn't
like the name Esther or SE. It was very old fashioned at the
time, I guess. So I just used the initial offer name and her
middle name. My daughter's middle name is Aaron. And that's
what we do a lot. I don't know if that worked in your family
the same way. But that's how we sort of took those name names
forward and remembered the people in our family who are
gone. So yeah, that's good. But that's, I'm glad I asked because
I know that's kind of interesting. And the other thing
I wanted to ask you is now I've forgotten where you live. You
live in Florida, right? Of course they just address you
live in Florida, but you're not from Are you from Florida
originally? No, I grew up in New Jersey. Okay, okay, but you're
American. You are American. I am American. Yeah. Okay. So tell me
a little bit about I'm going to give a little bit of a blurb
that I know about you that you are and your title, a brain
engineer who works with ADHD entrepreneurs to unleash their
potential via peak brain performance. And you assist them
to optimize that ADHD so they can remove that overwhelm, get
more done in less time, and enjoy growing their business
again. I think what attracted me in the first place was the ADHD
piece, because I believe that the older I've gotten, the more
as I say, a DD or ADHD I've become, but I now have a
granddaughter who has ADHD. And so I'm learning more about that,
that how their brain functions. And first of all, how did you
get into this? And tell me a little bit more about it?
ST Rappaport: Yeah, so I've never been diagnosed with ADHD,
but my mom's ADHD, I've got brothers that are ready to eat,
like, grew up in a family really high, high energy of ADHD. And
so I've been learning about it since I was a really, really
young kid. But essentially, I've been studying brains and brain
science and how our brains think and function for a bit more than
eight years now. And the more I got into it, the more I realized
it really helped people with ADHD. i It really hurt me that a
lot of what gets spoken about about ADHD is yes, people talk
about the superpower. But what people also talk a lot about
when it comes to ADHD is like, what a person can or cannot do.
Like they'll always struggle with time or they'll always be
distracted and they're like, you're gonna deal with the fact
that this is how it's always gonna be like And to me, that
sounds very limiting. I'm not the same person I was five years
ago, and I'm not going to be the same person that it was in five
years. And anyone with ADHD is the same thing. And so I really
want got, like with my work was able to see how it really helped
people get rid of those struggles and ADHD could just be
a superpower without those limitations.
Janice Porter: Hmm. So first thing that came to mind when you
said in your background, you have family members who have
been diagnosed with ADHD, did you get tested for it too? Or
just they didn't?
ST Rappaport: Yeah, I just never got tested for it. I'm most
definitely like ADHD traits or tendencies, I guess. Probably
just like, it's a bit of a spectrum, I guess. Right. Like,
how much ADHD right? Compared to the other people in my family?
It was a lot.
Janice Porter: Okay, because every time I've listened to you
on, you know, I've listened to some snippets of you on podcasts
and things you talk really fast. Right? And well, for my family.
Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Okay, interesting. And
the other thing I thought was fascinating was that you didn't
start reading till you were five.
ST Rappaport: I was still going for reading tutors in fifth
grade.
Janice Porter: I mean, was it Einstein that didn't read until
he was seven or something or didn't?
ST Rappaport: Yeah, I was reading an eight 910 11. But
it's really took me to like, did this work at 11 years old,
working on my brain that like I was able to read like, fluidly
and not being shy about it and things like that.
Janice Porter: Did you find it frustrating? Before that,
ST Rappaport: I was very frustrated. I was super shy
about it, I found it. Like, I would have to find all different
techniques and like tactics to like work around it. So I
couldn't so like say I learned from a really young age to like
skim books, because like I still wanted to read because I could
read some words, but like old big words I couldn't read. So
till this day, like if I don't force myself to stop and read,
I'm just going to skim and have a really low vocabulary spelling
was really bad. Like I got made fun of a lot of it for me, I
never want to be that holdout, which are like us to read. So
yeah, it wasn't it wasn't very funny.
Janice Porter: Well, and, and it's like, I was a teacher. And
so I know, it's not easy to and I look, and I watch my
granddaughter, she's in a hurry to do everything. But when it
comes to trying to like to she only four and a half. So she's,
you know, she's still learning about words, and so on as well.
But she'd much rather be physical than sit and try and
read or try and, you know, do it. But she's got some
interesting concepts that she has, which are kind of cool. But
okay, so you got into this peak brain performance. And I think
you say you have there are 28 brain functions. That
ST Rappaport: skills. Yeah, right skills,
Janice Porter: sorry, 28 skills. You say it better than I do. So
explain it to me. Yeah.
ST Rappaport: So there are 28 thinking skills. Or another name
for them is cognitive functions. I just like to say skills
because they're a little bit simpler. But essentially, we
tend to think of thinking as like, oh, now I'm thinking,
we're really while you're doing any task, including listening to
this podcast, you're thinking your brain is processing your
brain saying like, how is this relevant to my life? How is this
not what do I like this to it? All that is thinking, driving
your brain is thinking, figuring out can I turn can I not
running, talking to a person talking to a client, all that is
thinking, right? And though those parts of thinking are,
there's 28 of these parts that make up these actions. Now,
naturally, we will have stronger ones and weaker ones, I mean,
like with 28 of them, some of them are going to be stronger,
right? And some of them are going to be weaker. And those
weaker ones are making it really challenging for us to do what we
want to do. So I'll give you an example. I was just speaking
today to an entrepreneur who was saying how a lot of times he's
struggling with employees and with colleagues because it takes
him a really long to express himself and relationships are
really hard for him to build because he right he they asked
one question, and he sends back like four long paragraphs or
something that could be in like one sentence, and they're like,
I don't get this. That comes from thinking skills,
specifically, this case is guns. It's called giving up before
response, being able to express yourself in a clear and cohesive
manner.
Janice Porter: Yep. Okay. So what are some of the most common
issues that people come to you with who say, you know, my
business is just, I'm all over the map. I can't find I can't
move forward because you know, I can't function properly. What
are the like three most common things that people come to you
to help get help with?
ST Rappaport: Yeah. so big on just like you said all over the
map all over the place, things are just over the super
overwhelmed whenever there's a lot of information getting
overwhelmed struggling to get started on task because they're
just like way too much information. It's cold, nothing
is skilled that is related to guys called clear perception.
Okay? Essentially, we take in information through our five
senses. So you're now taking in this podcast or listening right?
When you touch something, you're picking information through your
sense of touch. Most of the time, the information coming
into your brain is coming in in a clear and organized way. But
if there's a lot of information coming in, you get a becomes
blurry, and it becomes overwhelmed. And we just want to
not do it ever opened up a room open the door to a really messy
room that you know, you needed to clean. But instead of going
in to clean it, you just went out and close the door. Yep.
Janice Porter: I always say to myself, I have to be in the mood
or be ready to tackle that task. Yeah,
ST Rappaport: actually is Why do you have to be ready because
your brain has to be ready to deal with information overload
that is about to enter your brain. However, the stronger
this thinking skill of clear perception is, the more
information you can take in without overwhelming you.
Janice Porter: So I was listening to you, on my walk the
other day talking. It was your more recent episodes where
you're using samples, and stories of people that you've
actually worked with. And I think you might say then to
that, you know, try doing one more thing and try doing two
things like you have a method for helping people very quickly
with moving through that. Yes, yeah. Can you give me one of
those examples in this year?
ST Rappaport: Sure. Excited, okay, so because we use our five
senses, to take in information, we're going to help our brain
picking this information through our five senses in a clear and
organized way. So we're gonna go through the five senses, and ask
ourselves, what do I see? And literally list out say out loud,
what you see, you open that room, I see laundry, I see
papers, I see pens, and what is happening is there. As you're
listing it out, your brain is able to take in the information,
one by one, instead of just being overwhelmed by this
massive mess. After you list out a bunch of things that you see,
what do you hear, Oh, I hear the AC is on I hear the cars
outside? What do I hear? What do I smell? What do I feel? And
what do I taste tastes will probably just be like your
saliva unless you just drink coffee or something, you know,
like, by just to go through those five senses. And then your
brain is not overwhelmed anymore. And you can ask
yourself the question, What's my starting point? What's the first
thing you need to do? Just like that, and you will find yourself
picking up garbage, you will find yourself putting papers
away, you will find yourself being able to do it because your
brain is just not overwhelmed anymore by the amount of
information is coming is much more clear organized. The cool
part is here's where the cool part is. If you do it enough
times, you won't have to do anymore.
Janice Porter: Because it's changing how you think. Changing
that cognitive function. You got it? Yeah. Okay, interesting.
Okay, so the overwhelm is one, one piece that an entrepreneur
might come to you with? What's another one?
ST Rappaport: Okay, this is another one. That's going to be
very surprising for many of you. Do you ever struggle to make
decisions? or know someone who does?
Janice Porter: Oh, my, yeah. Not me so much as my husband and one
of my daughters. Yeah, you could die before they make a decision.
Yeah.
ST Rappaport: That comes from the cognitive function of
comparisons. Because what happens most times when we're
talking about two options, we say, I like option A, because
it's cheaper. I like option B, because it's bigger. But what
it's talking about price, it's talking about size. You are not
comparing them on the same
Janice Porter: level. Apples to Apples, right?
ST Rappaport: Yeah, there you go. I see. You're really strong
at this cognitive function.
Janice Porter: Okay, well, that's encouraging. Okay, I have
my own issues. But there you go. Okay. So I'm sorry to interrupt,
but I'm
ST Rappaport: going to do all have ones that we can write.
Because there's like no such thing as like having a perfect
brain, you know, these optimize your brain more, right? Anyway,
so back to comparisons. So if you want to improve this
cognitive function of comparisons to make better
decisions, to organize your life better, any of that sort of
thing, you want to take two items and compare them on the
same parameter. Okay, so list out all the things that you want
to compare it on. Price size, texture, manufacturer, whatever
it is, yeah. And then you're making your decision based on
which parameter is most important to get clear on what's
most important, you don't walk into the customer into the
comparison and say, oh, a is cheaper, and b is bigger. But
you know, this situation, size matters to me more. And so I can
buy the bigger one without a be a whole, like, big deal. Because
you know, size is important. Obviously, size is important,
too. And amount, if it's like a million dollars more than like,
no, but like you understand you have that priorities is really
clear in your brain with the comparisons. So to actually get
better at this, you want to take two random things you have in
your house to rent a thing next to you a pen and a phone or
whatever. And just compare them on the same level, but a bunch
of different attributes a bunch of different parameters, color,
size, texture, weight, whatever you could think of, and then
fill it out for each other. Once you've comfortable doing two
things, compare three things, and four things. And you can
make this even more challenging by comparing abstract things,
not just things you have in your, in your, like on your, on
your desk around you, but like what about two tasks that you
have to do? Or what about two personality traits or to
potential hierarchies, or things like that.
Janice Porter: So I keep coming back to, if I'm comparing these
things, especially in the the, the objects to things that I
maybe want to purchase, or whatever, I tend to come back to
and maybe this is just a different way of thinking of it?
I don't know. But rather than comparing them for what they
are, I have to come inside myself and say, Do I really need
this? Do I need the one that's bigger? Do I need? You know,
like, it's not comparing the two objects, but it's like, let's be
real with. Okay, go ahead. Yeah.
ST Rappaport: Okay. So essentially, what there's,
there's, there's two steps to this comparison, there's
comparing the two objects, and there's getting clear on what
attributes are most important to you. Okay, that also applies. So
that's what you're doing by going inside, you're getting
clear on it. But that is also comparing because you're
comparing the attributes of like, by saying, Do I really
need the big one, you're comparing the attribute of like,
size to Prime Minister, whatever it is,
Janice Porter: yeah, yeah. It's fascinating, really, actually.
But that kind of breaks it down. Maybe those those listeners who
struggle with things like making decisions might be able to grasp
onto something simple like that, to make it easier for
themselves. So that's great. Okay, so we talked about the
comparison, we talked about the first one, which which is
completely left my head at the moment now. So
ST Rappaport: right, that what was it? clear perception? It's
Janice Porter: your perception. And that, yes, and what's the
third one that's most common? A third one,
ST Rappaport: especially with ADHD, really, really, really
big. One is understanding time, big word and the ADHD world is
time blindness, and not realizing how long tasks how,
how long a task takes always running late to appointments,
leaving tasks for last minute, anything related to time, falls
under this cognitive function of time. Now, you mentioned
Einstein in the beginning. Well, ADHD is then also struggle with
time and always said that time is one of the most abstract
things. And one of the most complex things for our brain to
understand, because it is very abstract. But he didn't say it's
impossible, it is possible, you it's just a little bit more
challenging. So some of my favorite ways to get better at
this cognitive functions, or to start getting better, I should
say, is you want to buy those big, huge desktop calendars,
those big ones, yeah, and hang them up on the wall in front of
you. But not just for this month, for the next 234 or even
five or six months. Because what's going to happen is it's
going to train your brain to be able to look ahead, and as you
put important dates on there, and in meetings and different
things that you're happening, who you meeting, when it's going
to start giving your brain and understanding of like, oh, this
is next week. And if that's happening next week, I need to
do this task before such when it's visual in front of you, it
makes a much it makes it more concrete, right because times
abstract. You're making it concrete by putting it on an
actual physical count. Another thing that you can really do is
that often people with ADHD tend to either over us Somebody no
longer task is going to take or underestimate how long a task is
going to take. So help your brain actually understand it for
the next week, time, all the tasks that you do often, how
long does a Zoom meeting with a new potential client? Actually
take you? Or
Janice Porter: have to take? Right? That's like you said,
yeah, exactly. Yes,
ST Rappaport: exactly. And obviously, there's gonna be
average, right? Because like, sometimes it's gonna be a little
bit longer. So you time a few, when you get an average, how
long does it actually take you to take a shower, or to put up
dinner and then if like, You're five minutes before, you have to
run up the door for an appointment, and you're like,
oh, I want to just put up dinner. But now you know that
putting up dinner doesn't take five minutes, it takes more like
20, then it's like, oh, I actually can start this now. And
you'll be on time for your career.
Janice Porter: That's a good one for me actually, to look at. It
was interesting, I got a call last night, from somebody I
hadn't talked to for a long, long time. And I didn't know him
that well. And I had called him about something and left a
message. And he had called me back a couple of days later. And
so we were having this conversation, I needed to ask
him something that he could refer me to somebody to help
with. And we got into the conversation, you know, how's
your family? You know, what are you up to? And we did all that
and the niceties and, and then I asked him, and then I felt a
lull, I felt like, the conversation was kind of done,
but we didn't like he didn't say anything else. So I found that I
had to say that so great that you were able to help me, thank
you so much. And, you know, let's get together for coffee
book something maybe next week or the week after. And that was
kind of ending it and helping him know that it was ending it.
You know, like, sometimes you have to take control of those
things, because they can give awkward. Right? I know, it's
just an aside, but it is sort of hit me as
ST Rappaport: part of the relationships part. You know, of
course, you understand their way the other energy and see like,
what's actually happening here. Yeah, and
Janice Porter: as far as the time thing, it's interesting.
My, my little granddaughter, she of course, once she gets hold of
an iPad, she wants to be on it forever, because she's just a
kid of the 21st century, right. And she, it actually calms her
down, which is really kind of cool. But we have to limit it,
right? Because she could sit on it. So we'll say, you know,
Amara, you can play on the iPad now, because I know that she's
been out riding her bike for three hours, and she's just
needs to sit down and calm down. But, but I'm going to put the
timer on 20 minutes. That's it. So because she'll go, Oh, can
you just have 10 more minutes, grandma 10 more minutes or
whatever, right? And she'll push it and push it and push it. But
she at least gets a sense of the timeframe when the timer goes
off. So it works sometimes.
ST Rappaport: No, well, you're she's still young. And yes, of
course. Yes. Right. And also, it's not just understanding the
time. It's like the negotiation, right. Like it's exactly. It's
fun. It's not like, oh, yeah, if I told her to clean her room for
10 more minutes. Yeah, exactly.
Janice Porter: I know. I know, she loved. It's just
interesting, though, to watch how that brain works. But so do
you? Do you see when you're talking to maybe you're
networking, or maybe you're actually doing some prospecting
calls? And you know, Discovery calls or whatever? Do you notice
if someone has ADHD? Can you pick it up pretty quickly?
ST Rappaport: Yes. So I personally don't love to just
like label people ADHD.
Janice Porter: And I understand that, yeah, I Yeah.
ST Rappaport: But especially if I'm looking to help them right,
like a potential client or something, then I'm looking to
see which one of their thinking skills are weak. Now, people
with ADHD often tend to have similar weak thinking skills,
including the three that we just said. And so I'm not diagnosing
and I'm not a physician diagnosed, but most definitely,
I'm looking more at the skills and what I like about the skills
is because they're skills, that means you can learn them by just
saying a person who has ADHD, it's like, okay, now well, you
know
Janice Porter: what happened? And
ST Rappaport: we're here, but he's talking the whole time. You
know, I
Janice Porter: know, I know. And that says, I'm saying skills.
Talk about a lot, right? That's so funny. Okay, so no, I was
actually just taking a quick look because I couldn't remember
what your education was actually in. And and then I remembered
that you had been a photographer. And that would
give you a whole different perspective on people. So how
did you go from that to what you're doing now?
ST Rappaport: Okay, so I I've never actually thought that I'd
be doing what I'm doing. Now, I'd like I said, I thought that
when I was 11, I was in the band. And I saw how much like,
even as 11 year old, I saw how much to change me, not just in
my reading, but like my whole life. And so I knew how to live
and I want to to learn it, but just to learn it because I love
learning. And I'm like, I want to have this in my back pocket.
But I started at 14, I think was my first photography business.
And I've been doing photography in college, like I went to the
studio when I had overtop of the business. But I started this
training. When I started this training. This is the four years
being training, yes. Okay. Now, the forest scene training is
quite a process of a training, right? And takes time and like
to really get into it. And so I would do the training while I
was also doing photography business, and there was a story
how deep do you want me to go into it?
Janice Porter: Not too deep at this point. Yeah. Okay. So
essentially, what
ST Rappaport: I realized was at that point that I had another
like, massive transformation. And I realized that successful
people need this also. Because there's a lot of like, right,
like, until then, I thought it was like only for people with
learning disabilities, or children or things like that.
And I was like, people with businesses need this because I
literally started saving over 10 hours every week from like,
another improved cognitive function. And like, my business,
like, doubled and tripled, and it was like, changed everything.
And that's when I was like, other people could be
photographers, like, I'm gonna go do this. Oh,
Janice Porter: interesting. Interesting. Well, it's
fascinating, really, and people can read I think more about you
and your work on your website, right, which is still lifepics.
University. Yes, yes. Yeah. And before we go, I want to ask you
a couple of quick questions that I like to ask a form of to my
guests. And one I want to ask you first is because of what you
said earlier, when you are taking in information do you
prefer to? And I'm sure the answer is no, but I could be
completely wrong. Do you prefer to read Listen, or watch? like
reading books, reading, you know, versus videos versus
podcasts? That kind of thing? Honestly, it
ST Rappaport: depends what, what my like goal is like what I'm
trying to do. Um, the best way to get it in is actually
listening and reading at the same time.
Okay. Okay. Yeah. You're getting
both, but not always. Is that possible, right. Like I usually,
like usually more about, like, how can I learn more in this
moment? So if I'm driving like, yes.
Janice Porter: Yeah. Like that. Yeah. Okay. That's like me, I
like to do that, too. But it's funny, I bought a book the other
day that someone had I'd seen someone told me about, and I'm
all about relationships in this book that's really interesting
about that, but easy enough to read, because it had stories in
it about people. And I started reading it. But only like, I
can't read it when I'm out walking, or I'm, you know, so.
So I'm reading it before I go to bed. And I'm not sure I'm
getting enough out of it, because I'm tired at that time.
So that sort of affects my reading time as well, because I
there's too much to do during the day. Anyway, that's another
thing I have to figure out. The second question I'd like to ask
you, and then I have one more after that is what is your take
on curiosity? Do you think it's innate or learned? And second
part to that question is what are you most curious about these
days? Okay.
ST Rappaport: I personally think that we are all it's innate,
real born with curiosity. That's how we learn. But I think it
gets destroyed. Okay. And I am most curious about humans,
everything about human so the human brain, human biology,
human relationships, human interactions, all of that, but
But you mind just fascinate me so much. All right.
Janice Porter: That's fair enough. That's awesome. And last
question, would be just what is your best piece of business
advice for the entrepreneurs who are listening today?
ST Rappaport: Okay, I think that you want your brain or you want
yourself to be able to do contradicting strategies and to
be able to develop the skill to learn what to know, when giving
an example. You want to be able to, like, just take action and
not get stuck and like move in and take action. At the same
time. You also want to have this skill and ability to stop, to
think, to strategize to figure out what I'm going to do. But
you can be really good at both of those. But if you don't know
which one to do when it doesn't help you. So learn contradicting
strategies and learn and develop the skill to figure out what to
do one.
Janice Porter: Right advice. Very, very good. This is so much
fun. Thank you so much for stopping by today, and for
answering all my questions. and sharing your knowledge around
the the font, the 28 cognitive brain functions right? And the
skills around them. So that's really that's really fun. So,
thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you to my audience
for being here. And if you liked what you heard, please leave a
review and share it with a couple of friends because we
love to spread the word about people like St. Rapoport. So
thank you so much and remember to stay connected and be
remembered. Thank you, Janice. This was fun.