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Welcome to a psycho delicious conversation on mental health issues and trends from two local mental health professionals in the greater Lansing area. I'm Michael Stratton, lmsw.

And I'm Morgan Bowen, dnp, pmhnp. And we're here to provide you with a deep dive into the human experience of consciousness and beyond. Our aim is to be educational and entertaining. So just kick back and open your ears and your minds.

Hey, I'm Mike Stratton.

And I'm Morgan Bowen.

And we are here actually on Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. I, I, I thought it would be interesting if we talked about couples today and couples work and also to be a little more revealing about ourselves.

Ah, yes, I begrudgingly agreed.

So you're going to be the first subject.

You're gonna be, he's also gonna be the very first one to just throw it all out on.

So we're going to talk about our couplehood.

Our couplehood. How did you and John meet? John is your husband?

John is my husband. We've been married for. I should have reviewed this in my mind before coming into this. You don't know how long you've been together? Well, we've been together since 2007. So I always say John and I met the old fashioned way, drunk in a bar.

Okay.

This was pre apps, pre, you know, apps were out like match and match.com and I think there was another one, but they were pretty much for straight people. Like you know, kind of that type of love connection between two, two straight people. So we met through mutual friends and we did meet in a bar, but that was the meeting place. And what city was this? Chicago trying to get us? Chicago.

Yeah.

Yeah. So I was 20. We were, but we're the same age, So I was 29, I think. Yeah, 29. And so we're 46 now, soon to be 47. John is six older than me. We were connected pretty immediately. I was definitely, I thought he was very handsome and I think he thought the same about me. So that was sort of the immediate connection. And then it turned out we like to spend time together.

So you weren't introduced by a third party. You just met each other at the bar.

So I, you know, I grew up here in Williamston. A friend of mine from Oakamus was living in Chicago and he was actually a roadie. He still is a roadie. At the time he was four Aerosmith. So like big, you know, big time things. So he would fly out. I was living in Chicago. He was in Chicago. But he would be gone for huge amounts of time because he would be on tour. So then he would come into town, he'd call me, and we would go out and we would hang out, and we would usually go out and have some fun, have a good time. So he called me one night and he said, I want you to come out and meet me. Which was not unusual. I said to Sam, I don't want to do that. I'm tired. Which kind of was unusual. But he said, no, I really want you to come. And I said, well, what's the, you know, what's the big five alarm fire here? And he said, well, I have somebody that I want you to meet.

Oh, so you were kind of fixed up.

Yeah. And I said, sam, you know, I'm not. That's, you know, not really my thing.

I don't, you know, not that kind of guy.

Not that kind of guy. And he's like, no, I really think that you would. You would like this guy. I just really have a good feeling about this. And that was unusual for Sam, too. So I agreed. He was out, which he frequently was, as was I, in the nightlife of Chicago. So I met up with them at a bar called Five Star, which is a neighborhood in Chicago, if you know it. And, yeah, I met him.

If you know, you know, if you know, you know.

Yep. So that's how John and I met. He was living in, like, a neighborhood in Chicago that I worked in. And so, you know, I was living in a neighborhood that wasn't too far away. But we started spending a lot of time together, and we were.

You're skipping a lot.

I know. What do you want to know? What do you want to know?

What. What did he say or do? It was just his attract. The attraction.

It was kind of an attract. Yeah, it was sort of an attraction. It was handsome. It was. I was, you know, like, he was just. He was attractive. Had this boyish quality about him in a kind of innocent type of way. I mean, I really liked that. I remember looking at him and thinking, he look very European for some reason. He looked very.

He looks Irish.

Yeah, he, like, had a British, Irish kind of look to him. And I had lived in England, you know, previously, and I just was really kind of struck by him. And he's. He's definitely very handsome, but he's not necessarily, like all American, like classically handsome. So I. He was right up my alley.

Was there a moment where there was a click where you got right when.

We first saw Each other. I think there was kind of a click.

Well, there's the attraction part.

I guess I am very focused on that too. Begin with, because that was really, I mean, you know, that was kind of. Well, you know, that was the age that I was at.

But the personality piece of it, I mean, was there a sense of like, this guy gets me or I get him or.

Yeah, he's very easy to get along with and you know, I really thought he was very mysterious. So he's very quiet and he's, he, you know, he's not as extroverted, you know, so I thought kind of, you know, still waters run deep and you know, there's a depth here and there's like something about that was just really attractive to me. And I tend to be more verbal and extroverted and not always, but between the two of us. So there was a balance. There was definitely a balance.

Complementarity, a complementary kind of relationship. He's more internal, you're more external.

Yeah. And now what is it? I've already established that it's. And I forgot already, it's been 16, 17 years. So that continues, you know, like I had been, you know, I had been in relationships two years, three years and they were, you know, young type of relationships, I guess more, you know, exciting. Lots of passion and drama and that seemed to be what. But it would turn out that that was, you know, not good for a sustained long term relationship.

I understand.

So I think another part of it was I was just like at a time in my life that, you know, I looking for or at least evolved into something that was more mature and more. More stable and that was important to me. And John is a very mature. He's definitely a stable guy. He's for sure. I always feel safe with him. I trust him. I trust him completely. You know, I've never had any concerns about, I don't know, like that he wouldn't, that he would leave or that, you know, that.

It'S a little hesitant.

Yeah, yeah. There was 17 years, you know, I, you know, but. Or that he would like cheat on me or they're, you know, like, I just trust him. I just really trust him.

Yeah. Now what would John say in terms of what attracted him to you?

Oh, God. You know, that is such an interesting question and an obvious question, but I, you know, one of the great and kind of hard things about John and I is like we have very different brains. So I don't know that I could tell you exactly about that, but I think he thought that I was good looking. I think he liked the things that I had that he didn't. You know, I think maybe some confidence and the extroversion and personality. Yeah, I think he liked the personality and the social, you know, the social aspect. You know, I met his family fairly quickly, actually. His mom got married like a month or two months after we met each other. His mom remarried, obviously, but, you know, so he was like, well, my mom's getting married, but, you know, I don't necessarily want to invite you to the wedding because you're, you know, we've just been dating for. And I, you know, I was like, what? You know, whatever works, works. But eventually, you know, he did end up inviting me, and so we went together. And, you know, I can be polite and have manners and be a nice social conversationalist. So I.

When you need to.

When I need to.

We haven't, we haven't seen that side.

Of you yet, but we're working at it.

So I think, you know, I was. I. I guess maybe I was somebody that he could bring home to mom, you know, literally. So I think he, you know, that kind of stuff turned out to be important to him, you know, family and. Which is important to me too.

But how did they show up for you? I mean, what did you think of his family when you saw him?

So he's from Chicago. He is from the south side. So his mom is very. She's. She's reserved, she's quiet, but she's, you know, she was always very kind. She was very welcoming. Her parents were there, so her mom is still alive. Actually, John's Grandma is like 98 or 6 or. She's old, but she is kicking. They're from Minnesota. They're a Minnesota farm family. Fairly conservative. So, you know, I felt the conservatism of that. But they were polite and, you know, and have always been very kind to me. His immediate family has. I mean, his whole family has always been really great to me. I think his, you know, I think his. His grandparents are just of a generation that maybe are a little less comfortable with gay relationships, but they have never said anything or made me feel uncomfortable.

Okay. Okay. What does he think of your family?

Oh, we spent a lot of time with my family because they are around here. I think he thinks they're colorful and they are, like, not traditional, not a typical family. I think that he has really bonded with them individually and they have. He has helped them a lot over the years, particularly my parents and, and my brothers, too. He's very. He's just the guy that will say that he's going to help and he'll show up and he'll be there whether or not you are ready to help or not. And so that isn't always the case. And you know, in the family he's always helped to move, you know, move furniture, like, you know, give rides, like show up to the emergency room if somebody's like, he's just that guy. So I think that they really, they really respect that and they really appreciate that and recognize that as being just really important.

So when did you guys decide to get married? Who asked?

Who? Actually John asked me on Christmas of 20, maybe 13, maybe a little bit earlier. So he wrapped up a picture of a picture of a ring. This is kind of funny. So I opened this present and it's like a picture, like a Xerox copy. Like it was a printed copy of a ring. And I was a little confused and he didn't really. I mean this kind of speaks to his personality. He didn't like have a big speech or anything. Like he just kind of looked at me and I was like, what, what is. Is this kind of what I'm thinking it is? And he said, well we. I think he said something like we've been together long enough. So I figured it was, it was like. Nor like. I can't remember how he said it, but it was like kind of the logical next step would be to get, you know, to get married.

Very romantic.

Yeah, very romantic. Pragmatic, I guess comes to mind.

I was gonna say I can appreciate that approach. I'm just saying I. I get it. Yeah, looks like it.

Time.

To tell you. Do we want to.

Please.

We.

We might want to do.

I think you should.

Mine's a mess, so I. No, I'm good.

So to end that story, I said, well, why did you give me a, you know, copy of the. And he said well, I know you're really picky, so I didn't want to pick something out and have you like, you know, dissect it. Cuz I, you know, couldn't do that. And I just rather you picked out your own ring. And I said, well actually that's pretty true. I can understand where you were coming from.

Happily ever after.

Happily ever after?

Kind of. More or less, yeah. You guys seem like a great couple. I know you guys as a couple. Yeah, you're great together.

Well, thank you. So. Yeah. So that's the. That's the story of John and I.

Okay.

I truly admire the fact that you guys have been Together for so long.

Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's, you know, I think. And this is a stereotype that gay couples are not always known for their longevity, so. Yeah, so it is. Yeah, I really like that too. And I think both of us are very interested in commitment and, you know, honoring that and working through that. As anybody who's been in a long term relationship knows, it is not always chocolate and roses. So you got to get through the tough stuff. And that takes a decision pretty much to do that. And I, you know, I am all for splitting up when, you know, I mean, I have no criticism of people who, you know, choose a different path, but. And I would too if it was, you know, if, if the circumstances warranted. And I have.

But I'm also speaking as somebody who's never made it past five years in a relationship, so.

Well, Mike's gonna.

And that. That includes my. My wife.

So there you go.

So you my ex wife, you're not currently married? Yeah, no, no, I was.

I was.

Our relationship lasted about five years and that was, you know, dating all the way through the marriage and then after that.

You're dating someone now though, right?

I am dating somebody presently. We did meet through a dating app, actually. Yeah, it's still short. I think we've been together for a little. Yeah, a little over a year now.

It's good. It's good.

So far, so good. Yeah.

You know, you're talking about attraction. I think what attracted her to me is the notion that she loves rom coms and the first date very much. I mean, I will say it was easily the best first date I ever had and, you know, got done and she's like.

It felt like a rom com.

How so? Like what? Like the.

We ended up going to a local pumpkin patch. The one in Charlotte. I can't think of the name of it right now, but Old Mill I think it is, but started the day there and we ended up going and doing all the different things. You know, you get to shoot pumpkins out of a cannon, slingshot, there's a corn maze, you know, good food. Everything else got done and still we were having fun. So we ended up heading over to Jackson after that and then we went to the big haunted house down there because it was around Halloween.

Yeah, that's the like super mega scary one, right?

We had a blast doing that. And then after that we headed all the way back to Lansing and ended up this. It was a long day. We ended up shooting some pool, hanging out there, had a good time and Then finally she had gotten place a bed and breakfast in Charlotte, and we went back there, and then I think this was. Was. Was the. The kicker was basically it was kind of like this light rain going on, and it was a very beautiful house with one of those big front porches. And so we had a kiss, and. And it was very rom.

Com. Ish.

So.

So did you plan that whole date, or how did the date come about?

I would say we planned. Or I planned at least the pumpkin part. Going to the old mill orchard and then the haunted house I had in queue if I was enjoying myself. If I didn't, then it was not gonna happen. She's actually the only person I've ever gone out with and the very first person I ever went out with on a dating app. So it was kind of interesting that it worked out the way it did.

Interesting.

Very interesting. Yeah, I like that whole date, the haunted house thing. I'm not.

Oh, that was a blast.

Yeah. So I am terrified of these hunt, but I'm not really terrified. But, like, I don't like jump scares. I just. It just sets my anxiety, adrenaline. Oh, my God. I am like. I act like a crazy person. So I'm not sure that would be the best.

Well, see, I like representation. I joke about it, but there's a lot of truth to it. I. I've always joked about the notion somebody could jump out at me with a knife and I really wouldn't react. I just got to go, what's going on? What can we do?

I would make a noise like, yep.

No, that's not me.

I'm just super.

Like, those pictures of people with, like, these crazy. Like, it just. It's not necessarily fear. It's more just like. I don't know what it is. Sends my nervous system into a weird space. It's not good.

So we're going to put Mike on the spot.

Here we are. Mike, tell us about. All right, Tell us about your success.

What are the questions?

A relationship? Well, what do you think?

How many. How many years have you guys been.

Yeah, we've been married for. Well, we got married in 2010. In. In May of 2010. So it will be. This year will be 15 years. But we were together seven years before that.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, wait. Yeah. Seven years before that. So.

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

So that's 23 years.

Is that right?

Is that 23 and 15? I don't know.

I was trying to do the math, and I lost it.

22, 23.

How'd you meet?

Also on a dating app was it match.com? so I had a, I had a long term.

That's early days of dating apps too, isn't it?

It was aol. I don't know.

Was it a chat room?

You got mail.

You got.

It was match.com chat room. It was, it was match.com. i had been in a long term marriage, 23 years in a marriage and left that. And then I was in another relationship for three years and that one ended up not working out. I'd left that one and then decided because I had married the first woman that I'd ever really dated is what had happened. And I thought, you know, I've never just dated people, just casually dated people. And so I thought, how are you going to meet people when you're a therapist and you're like, well, I'm not going to date any of my clients, that's obvious. I don't go to bars. And so what am I gonna do? And I was like 40 years old or 40 something at that time. And so I got on this dating app and started meeting people. And so I dated like, I don't know, five or six different women just two or three times. Just going out for coffee or meeting for lunch or went to a movie with somebody, went to go see Silver Bells with somebody, went to a play with somebody. You know, just different things like that. Just try to get to know, know different people. And. And then Kathy, we matched up and they gave you a percentage of how much you match up with people. Yeah. And so we were like 94% matched. And I thought, well, I should forget about that. Yeah. And I said, well, I should check her out.

So.

So I did. Turns out that we had gone to high school together.

Oh, wow.

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? We had no idea.

Like in the same.

I had no idea.

In the same year.

Wow.

Wow.

We were in the same year. She said she remembers me. I don't have much of a memory of her.

I know that about you guys. That's so interesting.

And then the other thing is that she was volunteering at the Creole Gallery and she was the barista there as a volunteer. And I would show up with a different woman and every, every, every time. But it was before match.com. yeah, but before, before I, I matched with her. And so she was like, oh, so she was familiar with me. And then when your dating patterns, connections, when she. Yeah, and so we met. We actually met. The first date was going to be we were going to go to a poetry reading at the Griot Gallery. And we met at Sir Pizza around the corner.

And those also set off my anxiety. Poetry.

Poetry readings. Well, I would go to them.

You do the same thing, Streak.

Yeah, I'm like.

I would actually go to them and read poetry because I was writing poetry at that time. And we started talking and we started talking about bookstores and stuff. And I said there was a click that we had right away. And she took a very interesting tact. It wasn't like she was real interested in me. She was more like coaching me. Like, okay, if you're dating different people, watch out for this, watch out for that. Look for this, look for that. She was like coaching me. So it was like, I'm not the one you're looking for. I am not the. I am not the droids. So. Which I, I, in retrospect, like, that was such a canny thing to do, you know?

What do you mean?

Just no pressure at all, you know, Let me help you look at these other women. And it was a very interesting thing to do. And we just.

So do you feel like this is calculated at a part? Like.

I don't think so. No, no, no. She was just sharing some of her experiences. She'd been doing more of that than I had been doing that. And had some hilarious stories, like the guy who paid for their lunch with pennies or the guy who. She looked at his picture and when she showed up, it was his high school picture as opposed to what he looked like. All those kinds of things, you know, just different things like that. A bit.

Little, little.

Little tips. She said there were some real crazy people on online, so you got to watch out for them. But we ended up not going to the poetry reading. We went instead to go to the bookstore. And I wanted to impress her, so we went to the classic section, you know, and I was going to show her that I'd read several of these books. She had read all of them and then some more. So, yeah, so there was that. And then the. The other thing. Thing is that some of my favorite books, which were psychology books and self help books and stuff like that, she made fun of all of them. And I thought, well, this would obviously never work. She doesn't care.

She does not want to do. Talk about what I do at all.

No, not at all. Not at all. She's impervious to therapy. And anyway, so we, we had a.

She's impervious to your shtick, Your gimmick.

Your gimmick to my gimmick. Exactly. We had a second date and I was continuing to date other people. We had a second date that went fairly well, and then the third date was really good, and I went over to her house for lunch, and we ended up spending the whole day together and just kind of bouncing around from thing to thing. Kind of like what you were describing with the first date woman you're dating now. There is a kind of a spontaneity to it and a kind of a clicking to it. And she was real easy to be with and good sense of humor and all that stuff. And I overshare. Have you noticed that about me? I overshare.

There's more. I've had worse overshares in my life, but I can see what you mean.

We were driving around, looking at places where she had lived and where I had lived, and I was at one place, and I started to tell her about something. I was getting kind of choked up while I was talking about it. This is a third date. And she said, you know, you don't have to tell me everything.

I really do think. I mean, I know you guys, you know, as well, so I really do think she has your number. You know, like, she. She knows how to manage. She knows how to manage your energy. It's a good.

That's true.

Now, would you say, you know, because at one point Morgan had mentioned that the two of them. It sounds like you kind of complement each other. You're a little bit different, but seem to balance.

Yeah, yeah, but we enjoy spending time together. I mean, that's really, you know, kind of what, you know, we. We enjoy spending time with.

Do you find that your relationship is the same?

I would say similar in those ways. I'm more extroverted than she is in some ways, but I've also got a big introverted streak. In fact, I took a MMPI once. And that's the abnormality. The abnormality in my profile was that I was extremely introverted and also extremely extroverted. And that's unusual. So there's a part of me that wants to be the life of the party. They can get up an emcee in front of a festival that can give talks, can really be spontaneous in front of a crowd, and then I need lots of quiet time.

I would say you and I probably are pretty much the same on that.

Yeah, that's kind of the way I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good to have the skill set. But Kathy is. She is more introverted. She. She wants to be the person behind the scene in a lot of ways.

I would say, John, that's similar to John.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, she lets me take up all the oxygen in the room.

If.

I need to do that. But we also spend a lot of quiet time around each other and give each other a lot of space. So yeah, one unusual thing of oh God, we're out.

Yeah, you talk about yourself and you see what happens. So what are we going to do in the next one one we're going.

To talk about Treatment of Mike and his wife.

A psycho Delicious Conversation is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is no substitute for therapy and should not be treated as such. If you feel a need for real therapy, you should consult your local provider, Google Therapy or therapists in your area. Check with community mental Health or a suicide hotline if you are feeling suicidal.

Mike and Morgan welcome your questions, feedback or dilemmas. Feel free to send us an email at a psychodelicious conversationmail.com that is a psychodelicious P S Y C H O D E L I C I o u s conversationmail.com the views expressed on.

This podcast are solely the opinions of Mike Stratton and Morgan Bowen and do not reflect the views or opinions of any site broadcasting this podcast. Replication of this podcast without written permission is strictly prohibited. Examining the issues and topics that affect our lives from the local level to the world stage. Listen to the programs of LCC Connect anytime@lccconnect.org.

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This is Bob Myers from the Historical Society of Michigan with a Michigan History moment. It's called Grand Hotel, not the Grand Hotel and ranks among Michigan's most famous attractions. It is historically tied to two railroads and one steamship company, which in 1886 gave birth to the Mackinac Island Hotel Company, the parent of Grand Hotel. By 1875, Mackinac island was fast becoming a tourist destination. Mr. Francis Stockbridge had made a fortune in timber, mining and railroads. He bought land on Mackinac island on which to build a resort and hotel, but left Michigan to take a U.S. senate seat. Still hoping to fulfill his dream of a luxury hotel, Stockbridge sold his property to three transportation giants, the Michigan Central Railroad, the Grand Rapids and Indiana Railroad, and the Detroit and Cleveland Steamship Navigation Company. In 1886, the three companies created a subsidiary organization, the Mackinac Island Hotel Company. A Mackinac island hotel would help generate additional revenue since tourists took their trains and ships to vacation in northern Michigan. The Mackinac Island Hotel Co. Hired builder Charles Caskey and John Plank to create an enormous resort hotel on the bluff overlooking the Straits of Mackinac. George Mason of the Detroit architectural firm Mason and Rice drew up plans and Caskey went to work. Caskey completed the construction in less than four months. More than 300 men worked on the project using Michigan white pine milled in St. Ignace. Nearly 2 million board feet of lumber went into the structure. Grand hotel featured a 660 foot front porch and more than 400 guest rooms. It opened on July 10, 1887, as Planks Grand Hotel under the management of John Plank. Room rates ranged from $3 to $5 a night. Countless celebrities have visited Grand Hotel. Samuel Clements, known as Mark Twain, made the hotel a stop on his national speaking tour. Many presidents, including Harry Truman, John F. Kennedy and Gerald Ford, have stayed there. Two motion pictures have filmed at the grand the first, the 1947 musical comedy this Time for Keeps, star Jimmy Durante and swimming champion Esther Williams. The hotel pool is named for Williams. The second, the 1980 fantasy Somewhere in Time, starred Christopher Reeve, Jane Seymour and Christopher Plummer. Grand Hotel was listed on the National Register of historic places in 1972. This Michigan history moment was brought to you by MichiganHistoryMagazine.org.

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LCC connect voices, vibes, Vision hello, friends, and welcome to Coach Cuts Corner. Streaming bright from Michigan's capital city. This podcast is dedicated to helping you better understand the who, the what and the why of mental performance, personal growth, and Lancing Stars baseball.

Down on the victory line.

Coach Cuts Corner, brought to you by Eyewash in collaboration with Lancing Community College. And now, here's your host, Stephen Cutter.

Welcome to Coach Cut's Corner. Thanks for tuning in and subscribing. Each week, I share insights into our program and challenge you to grow, just as I push myself to do the same. My goal is to help you sharpen your mindset and elevate your life through these conversations. Today, I'm joined once again by Coach Allen, who's becoming a regular on our show. And I'm excited to welcome Charlie Mitten. Charlie is in his second year with the Stars program and a key part of our team. We'll dive into his journey, struggles, highlights and growth while exploring our program standards and values and how they've shaped him on and off the field. Let's get into it. How you doing this morning?

Doing great, Coach.

Doing great. All right, let's talk about your hometown roots a little bit. Bit.

Yeah. So I grew up in Dearborn, Michigan. You know, it's a. It's an all right town. Played high school ball in Garden City. I didn't go to school in Dearborn, went to Garden City, and it really worked out great for me.

Did that start when you were little or you went to Garden City the whole time, like elementary and stuff like that?

No, I did not. So my seventh grade year, I switched over to Garden City. Yep.

And what. What sports did you play?

Basketball, football my senior year and then I played soccer a lot when I was younger and of course, baseball.

Tell me about football your senior year.

I was a dog, man. It was something. It was fun, but it was something for.

For those that are listening on Here. And they don't know what a dog is in football. What. What. What does that mean?

I mean, don't run my way or else, you know what's gonna happen.

So a lot of just savage mentality in football. Was your. Was your team great?

I'll be all right. A couple guys would get the ball and. Yeah.

And you weren't one of them.

Oh, I get the ball. Trust me.

I get the ball.

Oh, they throw it to me.

Where did the love for baseball come. Because you obviously played other sports, and I think you enjoyed your time when you played sports. I think you enjoy life just in general. But where'd the love for baseball come from?

So started when I was younger. You know, one day I told my grandpa the Tigers were on. I was like, I want to try playing baseball. So then picked me up after school, went to the park, was throwing to me. I was hitting the ball, and I was like, I like this. I was like, all right, let me go take some infield. And then did that. I was a little scared of the ball, not going to lie, but figured it out and then, yeah, it took off from there.

So it started with your. Your grandfather.

Yes.

Okay. You know, kind of the next thing I was going to ask you is, like, some key moments or mentors that have helped shape your life. Is he one of those?

Oh, for sure. He's a savage, coach. He's a. He's a savage.

Okay. And he obviously has a passion for the game as well.

Absolutely. Yeah.

What. What other key moments stick out to you in your amateur career as you were. Are going through, you know, middle school, high school? What are some. What are some things that really stick out in your sports career?

Hard work, for sure.

What's. What's. What's hard work mean to you?

Getting up and getting after it every day? I mean, all. My grandpa Go to the gym 5am every morning.

Really?

Yeah. And I'd see him do that, and.

I was like, so that's modeling.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, I gotta be like that.

Okay. Do you feel like you've always had to work hard? Hard?

Yes, for sure.

So you don't feel like you've been gifted a lot of things?

No.

Okay. Do you think that's an advantage for people that learn how to work at young ages?

For sure, for sure. You know, you learn a lot in life just from doing it. Got to work for yourself. It's not just given to you.

What about the very prophetic words? What. What about travel ball? Yeah, I'm su. I know you played Travel baseball. It's super common for our athletes to play travel ball. What was your experiences like there and who'd you play for?

So when I was younger, I played for Michigan strategy. That was till I was like 14 and then 15. New year I played for D backs, and that was kind of the year. It was like I was really undersized, really skinny, and I knew, like my grandpa, we had a talk. It was like, we gotta take this serious. Like, I need to go all in. Like, it's got to be my life every day. It's what I got to do. And so, yeah, from there on next year, I played for the Rails and then I played for the Hit Dogs after that and took off from there.

Okay. Yeah. And Coach Dishman and things like that. Yeah. Huge supporter of the Stars program. So what. What kind of challenges have you faced, you know, both on and off the field? You talked about, you know, being undersized at a young age and really, you know, having to realize, like, I don't have any other choices. You know, I either need to. To buy in or. Or just, you know, tap out. What's. What's some of the challenges that come to mind?

For sure, you know, being under styes, but I don't even really think about it a lot because it is what it is. I can't control how tall I was or anything. I mean, my brother's 6 foot 2, so that would have helped, but you can't really think about it.

How's that work?

Great question. Great question. But, yeah, it was. It's a struggle. And, you know, injuries and stuff like that, they'll challenge the mind. And. But you learn from stuff like that. You know, injuries are tough, but you learn from them. It makes you stronger, for sure.

Yeah. I think we talk a lot in our program about mindset and also, you know, event plus response equals outcome. And you cannot really control most of those events in life. You don't want to ignore those events, but you get to have a say in how you're going to respond to those. And if you tend to stack enough bricks of, you know, the right responses for said situation, it can be just not hitting the snooze button five times on your phone when you're supposed to get up at a certain time, you know, not adding that. That half hour or 40 minutes or whatever it is that puts you behind everything else. You make enough of those right decisions, those outcomes start rolling in your favor a little bit. It's not always going to be handed to you. It's not always going to be the exact outcome that you envisioned or the outcome that you necessarily wanted, but you're going to look at it and be like, well, that's a heck of a lot better by me doing this than what I would have got if I didn't do any of this, you know? So that's where the E plus R equals O really comes in. And at the end of the day, you've been in our program long enough that you understand, like, it's. I get to make that choice. And if I make the right choices, enough great things will kind of happen. What about career highlights? What. What are some memorable moments in time, not only with our STARS program, but maybe some that you've had in the past? What comes to mind when I talk about that?

Yeah, high school. High school and travel ball a lot of fun. You know, put up really great stats, you know, hit the ball far, hit some dingers and stuff.

Really?

Always feel great. Yeah.

Are you the guy that when you hit him, you just run as fast as you can around the bases or you gotta try or what? What do you have?

I don't know. You've seen some of my videos probably before. If I hit it, I know it's out of there.

You're.

You're gonna. Yeah, might throw the bat a little.

Bit, but you can't do that at the college level.

You'll get anymore.

You'll get thrown out, and then you have to miss games and everything else. So would you say at the high school age, you started realizing, like, I think I can play college baseball?

Yeah.

Was that as you got a little bit deeper into high school or when did that start happening, really?

When I started. Like, when I started, I was like, I want to play college baseball. Like, I want to be a pro. Like, I'm gonna do everything I can in my power to do that.

How'd you find Lansing?

So Hunt and Marco and Blake, you know, play at the Cage. They train there. And I would see those guys every day, and they're donkeys, man. They're. And big guys. I'm like, I want to play. I want to play with them. Like, I want to play with that team.

Right. Marco was the biggest donkey of them all. I mean, just a special, special person. Love Marco Johnson. That being said. So you. You took a liking to Lansing?

We.

I think Coach Mo probably talked to you to some degree. I remember you reaching out to me at one point. Point. I. I don't know if you remember, but we had like a. Maybe a zoom call or Maybe it was just a normal call. I. I don't remember, but I remember sitting in my office at home and Charlie Mitten is, Is on the other line and, and he's. You were asking questions. I. I'm assuming you had a, you know, a number of questions written down because you were very zesty that day as well, you know, But I remember thinking, wow, those are, those are pretty solid questions. I always feel like when people aren't afraid to ask questions, show things like curiosity, stuff like that, it's like, yeah, that's what you want because that's. Those are really signs of somebody that has some tendencies of a growth mindset, right? Yeah. What about personal achievements? What's. What's. What's. What kind of plaques you got on your walls?

I went from a 61 exit Velo to 101 in two years. That was.

How'd you do that? You buy shaved bats or.

No, no, we don't cheat around here. A lot of weight gain. It was okay every day after school, go home, eat, eat almost till I puke. And then, you know, you gotta lift, you got practice, eat again, probably hit again and then, then eat again. Just constant everything, every day.

How much weight did you gain?

I think it was like £50. Put on some weight.

How much of that.

How much of that would you give credit to? You eating just jars full of peanut butter? Because I've seen you a couple times around the facility with your ear jar.

Of peanut butter before practice, before peanut butter was actually uncrustables. Yeah, I would eat like probably 14 of those a day. And that was a lot of calories.

So what's the go to flavor?

Just peanut butter and jelly.

The. The strawberry or grape?

Oh, grape. You know, 120 calories.

Yeah.

And this year, I mean, you've definitely stacked some bricks and got better this year because it has been you. You're kind of more known for peanut butter. Last year you were more known for butter growing, for sure. How about memorable moments in the STARS program? What stands out to you over the last year and a half?

So last year I was like the videoing guy and I got to like watch a lot of stuff. I wasn't in the dugout, but I would see, I would say a lot of things that other people maybe didn't see. And Vinnie, when he hit that three run bomb against Lake Michigan, yeah, that ball was crushed, but that was special. And then against KVCC in the fall, that was something. Coming in as a freshman and seeing that, how loud our dugout was. It was unreal.

No comments. I do remember because our video person is in charge of getting special moments in a game and then getting them up on social media if possible. You know, WI fi and phone service and all that permitting. I try to get in. So that was kind of your role. And I know that we were, we would laughed often as we're looking at these videos because all the videos that we're posting are, you know, exciting videos. And you know, Charlie's so fired up in the background, so he's kind of the voice on all these videos and, and we had to edit some stuff out because you got a little too excited at times. But I mean that's a, that's a pretty humbling spot though too, you know, where you just, just, you're just videoing and you're not ne. You're, you're a part of the team certainly, but you, you're not competing at that level with the team. And so you came back this year and I think that you've experienced some more stuff. And what's been the biggest difference between last year and this year for you with everything? Mindset, focus, you know, all those things.

Yeah, mindset and focus for sure. You know, I had a, like a victimized mindset when I hurt my back last year. I was really like, why has this got to happen to me? Like all these injuries are happening to me. Like, why is this happening now? Until it changed to like, okay, this is what happened. I gotta push, like, I gotta make this work. I gotta work as hard as I can and make it work. So it was, that was big for me, changing the mindset for sure. And now it's like no days off, like just go to work every day, give it 100 every time. Even if I don't feel great, like every day. 100%.

Yeah. It's trying to not focus on our feelings.

Yeah.

You know, try not to focus on the voice in our head. Try to focus on, you know, self talk and what you need to do and just going and doing it. Sometimes that, as you mentioned, giving 100, sometimes you're just not quite at 100%. But you can still give great effort. You can still have great performances on the field when you're not your best. There's been plenty of, you know, big league examples of sports professionals having great moments in time when they were sick or not at their best. And so it's, it just really comes down to what do you want and how are you going to respond to stuff. And I think you've had to learn that, you know, and we. We all. Not just Charlie, but we all need to keep working on that and learning that. That it's not about what happens to you. It is about, you know, how you respond, and if you can do it enough times, you might get a, you know, a special outcome. What are some more lessons you've learned from our STARS program? You know, we talk a lot about stacking bricks. We talk a lot about staying locked in, staying. Talk a lot about being uncommon. You've heard it, you know, for a year and a half now. You know, what. What are some of the things that stand out for you?

I mean, stacking bricks speaks for itself. Every day, you know, just keep getting better. Stacking more bricks. Just keep getting better every day. And then being uncommon, obviously, just being different, doing stuff that other people aren't gonna do, you know, day in and day out, just getting after it every single day, and knowing that other people will hit the snooze alarm and that I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna get after it while they're still sleeping.

Yeah, where you're just stacking bricks plus one, plus one, plus one. And those plus ones don't seem like a whole lot at the time, but at some points, when you're stacking bricks, you want to stand back and look at the wall and kind of. That you've built and take it in for, you know, maybe a minute, maybe a day, whatever it is, and just show some appreciation. Like, yeah, I. I've been doing this. This. This is helping with my confidence. This is helping with my own personal growth. This is helping the circle around me. As I get better, the circle around me gets better. And a lot of times, that's with your family and friends and things like that and siblings and, you know, just all this stuff, and you stand back and you look at it, you're like, not bad. And then instead of. If you stand back too long, you get complacent. You got to get back in there and get, you know, back locked in. And what you're trying to do. Coach Ellen, any. Any Charlie Minton stories that really stand out, I think you hit it on the peanut butter. That was. That was a pretty interesting one.

Yeah, I have a pretty recent one, actually. I was doing flips the other day in our. Our rapsodo cage, and Charlie hits a oppo bomb, and it hits off the steel beam that's in the middle of our. Our cages and comes back and hits me right in the eye. So if you're watching the video. That's why my left eye is a little green and yellow.

I didn't even know that was still there.

Yeah, we have a steel beam in there just for player development. We feel like it helps with the reaction times. You know, if they line a ball off it, they got to get out of the way. So we've, we've actually seen it with the Pison watches. We see reaction times, times going up when they're hitting it off the steel beam. So, yeah, it's a, it's definitely a development circle for the stars.

Keeps the coaches on their toes, too. We've, we've talked a lot about legacy the past couple of weeks and I was just kind of curious, when, when your time is done here at Lansing, what do you want people to look back and say, oh, that's Chuck Mitten's legacy.

Yeah, just hard working, really, and being a great person and being someone that people can go to and I'm gonna help them out. Like, that's really big here, is that people help each other out and we're always honest with each other. So if I ask somebody, I'm like, how does this look? Like they'll tell me if it looks bad.

Yeah.

Or if it looks great. Like they'll let me know. Just having that truth and having, being able to go to somebody and them actually give you the truth instead of what you want to hear, that's really big. Yeah.

Yeah.

It can be a lot more beneficial to hear the hard truth rather than a nice and soft lie, for sure. You know, make you feel great about yourself when there's still room for improvement.

Yeah, it depends on the person, though. You know, some people don't want to know the truth and so you know that you've got to steer away from that. But student athletes in general, and lots of people in general, they want to get better, maybe want to be a better parent. You know, all these different things. They want to get better because they know that will, you know, help their contagious proximity circle get better, too. And so, you know, we've had some conversations, some, some, one on ones. What, what, what sticks out. I know you probably are going to say, you know, feeding you with some awful, tasting medicine at different points and what, what stands out?

Yeah, I mean, there was times where I was going through a lot and stuff like that and like you saying that, like, kind of got on to me a little bit because I might have thought like, oh, that's when I had that victimized mindset. I was like, oh, like he's just getting mad at me and doing this stuff. But no, that's not true. You're telling me I gotta pick it up. Like, let's go. Can't just sit around and complain about stuff. We gotta, we gotta go and figure it out. Out. Can't just sit there.

Do you think that just some more experience helps you see that picture a little bit clearer?

For sure, for sure. 100.

I think experience in general helps with everything in life. It helps with baseball a ton. It helps with coaching. It helps with just the journey in life. But the more time you have and the more time you spend intentionally reflecting on where you're at and what you're trying to do, you start to see some of that stuff and you're like, yeah, as I said at the beginning, it's awful tasting medicine at the time. But you realize, well, I kind of needed that, you know, and that's what coaching looks like. Whether it's baseball or parents or anything else. You know, you look at some of the things that your parents have told you and when you're little, you just don't get it. You think they're being mean or they're not being fair to you. You know, the fair word comes up all the time. Time. And then as you get a little bit older, you realize, wow, you know, that was, that was huge. And, and them telling me, you know, as I sit here and talk about contagious proximity and the circle that you have around you and how impactful that is, and then them telling you about, hey, pay attention to who you're hanging around with, you know, it's going to make a difference. And you're just like, yeah, they're just being mean to that person or, you know, whatever it is. But then, you know, as I said, you know, we sit here and we say, man, it's, it's super impactful and if you're around people that are negative or victim mentality, you'll just attract even more of it, you know, and it's, it's a pity party and everybody's, you know, feeling bad for themselves and athletes can fall into those, those circles a lot. You know, it comes with playing time, it comes with injuries, it comes with self doubt that can creep in even if you're getting playing time and you're not injured. You know, there's the self doubt and all those things still equate back to, you know, the voice in your head and, and not listening to it all the time and saying, you know, the enough's Enough. I'm gonna start stacking some bricks and think more about the process and worry less about the outcomes and just focus on building a wall. And at some point, I'll stand back and I'll see what kind of. Of how big that wall is and if it's turned into a house or a mansion or, you know, and. But I'm not going to worry about it right now. Just going to stay focused and kind of keep the microscope on and, you know, that kind of stuff. I think we've kind of hit on a lot of things with our program. Coach Allen really hit on it. But where do you see yourself going after here? Not necessarily a certain college, because I know that's your dream and stuff, but what do you see in the future for baseball? Are you. Are you going to be one of those kids that's going to be a coach someday?

Yeah, I think so.

Okay, so. So you think you might be a high school coach? Oh, no, no, no. Oh, you. That's. That's not enough for you?

Nah. We're gonna be a college coach or something.

Okay.

Yeah.

I like that. I. I could see you as a fiery coach where, like, the team's doing MT and see for three hours every day.

Oh, yeah.

Because they're being lazy or whatever. I see that for sure. You seem like, you know, as you grow older, I. I think I could see you getting ejected a couple times. You know, throwing your hat on the.

Field, taking the base with you.

I can't say I haven't practiced the throwing the hat before. I practice that.

Yes, I've seen a few helmets, and we have to talk about that occasionally in practice, but really enjoyed having you on here and your stories. It's a cool story because I think you. You hit on the word hard work. I really like the word resiliency. I think that is a very powerful word. And I think everybody in our country can relate to resiliency. And it's. It's about the decisions you make really make an impact on your life. And sometimes it's hard to have that resiliency super hard. But you just got to keep stacking those bricks, and you've done a great job of that in our program. I really enjoy having you here. You're. You are zesty, and you're a savage, and you bring. Bring a lot to our program. So thank you for coming into the WL&Z studios today.

Absolutely. Thanks for having me. It's a lot of fun.

Absolutely. Make winning in life your habit, not your goal. Remember excellence. Excellence. Is a daily practice, not just a prize. Build great habits and practices that serve you so you can serve others. And don't forget to cherish the small moments they pass by in a blink of an eye. Until next time. Thank you to all of our listeners. Ultimately, we are all playing a game we can't win, so why not play it to the fullest? Go all in and Go Stars Coach Cutscorner is recorded live in the WLNZ Studios with Dallian Lowry and Jeremy Robinson providing engineering and production assistance. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed today's podcast, please share it and follow us on all forms of social media. Our program has been built and maintained with the help of many great people. If you want to be part of our mission, you can donate using the link in the show notes below. You can learn more@coachcutter.com and more about our team@lccstars.com see you next time.

This has been a presentation of LCC Connect, a weekly program that features the voices, vibes and vision of Lansing Community College. All shows featured on LCC Connect are recorded at the WLNZ studio located on LCC's downtown campus. Each program is podcast based and can be heard anytime@lccconnect.org if you or someone you know would like to be a guest on one of our shows, connect with us by emailing LCC ConnectCC.

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