HAZEL (AS NARRATOR)

Coming this October…

HARPER

There’s nothing in the dark, you’re just being paranoid… And LOIS is messing with you! You know how she is!

HAZEL (AS NARRATOR)

Start your spooky season off right…

HARPER

There it is! Yes, hello sweet safety!

DENIM

Finally!

[violence]

Ow! Holy shit, you’ve got an arm!

HARPER

Who do you work for!?

HAZEL (AS NARRATOR)

At the law firm of Smith, Smithson, Smythe, and Smithers!

COLE

Ma'am, he set your house on fire.

ANDREA

We've all done things we regret under stress.

COLE

I mean, sure, but I've never set a house on fire.

BONNIE

Okay!

COLE

I mean, I have fire powers. It would be super easy for me to set a house on fire, but I've resisted the temptation.

HARPER

Sometimes you have to hop over people's fences to give them what they need.

COLE

I'm in.

LOIS

I agree with this plan. Please do this.

BONNIE

That can't be a good sign…

GIDEON

I see, you pass the time watching MeTube videos! That must've been what you were doing when you left your crim law textbook unattended.

DEVON

You know where my crim law textbook is?!

GIDEON

Yes! At the bottom of Davies river!

LOIS

'Play you off' is that what the kids are saying these days?

COLE

I said from the start, we should've just locked them in a closet together. Sometimes violence is the answer.

DEBBIE

Oh you know us crim attorneys, Mal. We don't get out of bed for less than a gallon of the red stuff. The prosecution side's no different, an arm and a leg, we're there.

MAL

Mx Hallo, please stop writing down the details of our potential client's illegal actions.

HARPER

Oh I'm not doing this for the case, it's just in case Smurton gets any ideas.

LOIS

I do not believe the partners meant a literal slap on the wrist, Mr. Aria.

HARPER

I got this job to help people!

BONNIE

Through the law!

HARPER

Yes! And today we're using the laws of the heart!

COLE

For the millionth time, that was fun and you're a spoilsport.

BONNIE

I'm starting to think you just enjoy seeing me in pain.

COLE

Why I would never…

MAL

Alright. Some lessons must be learned in blood.

HARPER

What was that?

LOIS

I'm sure that's going to go fine.

HAZEL (as NARRATOR)

Oh, and...Alasdair is in it

MAL

You are in safe and qualified hands, I assure you.

ROSS

I bet you say that to all your consultants.

MAL

I most certainly do not!

HAZEL (as NARRATOR)

So tune in, dear listeners, as Super Suits returns October 7th!