1 00:00:00,300 --> 00:00:04,860 Karen Kenney: It's the Karen Kenney show. Hi. Welcome to the 2 00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:11,580 Karen Kenney show. I'm super duper happy to be here with you 3 00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:15,720 today. Oh, my God, you guys. I got a good dose of sunshine 4 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,720 today. I was out walking my furry kids. That's where I just 5 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:22,640 came from. Nothing like moving your body a little bit, getting 6 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,360 a little blast of vitamin D and spending time with animals, you 7 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,840 know. So I'm feeling, I'm feeling the after effects that 8 00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:34,520 of that whole excursion. And today I want to talk to you 9 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:39,320 about something that's just been on my mind, you know. So you 10 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:44,020 like me, might have some daily or weekly habits or whatever, 11 00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:48,640 right? So on Saturday mornings I wake up, my sweetie always kind 12 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,700 of laughs because, you know, he gets up, he just kind of takes 13 00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:55,120 his time. He takes the dogs out. He like, feeds all the furry 14 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,360 kids, you know, he does all this stuff and and then he usually, 15 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,720 like, grabs an instrument, and he's like, on the couch, right? 16 00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:06,060 I get up on Saturday mornings and I'm like, let's go. Like, I 17 00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:10,500 get right into action, and it's like, cleaning this vacuuming 18 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:13,920 that projects this, right? Like, I just wake up and, like, hit 19 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:18,600 the ground running. I think I've kind of always been that way. I 20 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,920 don't drink coffee, so I'm not somebody who needs, like, 21 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,340 caffeine to, like, get going. I think I just kind of wake up a 22 00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:28,880 little, like, just, I always say, Man, any day that I am 23 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:35,120 above ground, know that old saying something, I just kind of 24 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:38,480 wake up. I do a little DSP, my little daily spiritual practice, 25 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,920 and then I'm like, let's go. I got got it my back. I got shit 26 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:46,060 to do. Let's make it happen, you know. So the reason why I'm 27 00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:50,140 telling you all that is that I always like part of cleaning is 28 00:01:50,140 --> 00:01:56,080 that I vacuum. Now I have this vacuum. It's all gonna come 29 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,380 together in a minute. Stay with me. I have this vacuum. It's an 30 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:06,000 auric vacuum. O, ah, E, C, K, I think I've had this vacuum for 31 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:10,980 like, almost 25 years, if not more. I might have had it longer 32 00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:15,180 than 25 years. I was just looking to see if I could find, 33 00:02:15,180 --> 00:02:19,320 like, the original receipt and like where I got it from. I have 34 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:23,060 the original like paperwork for it, meaning, like the manual. 35 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,760 But I don't have, I don't know if I have the receipt, it might 36 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,340 have even come with me from California. Like, that's how 37 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,280 long I've had this thing. But here's the thing about this 38 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:36,980 vacuum. Back in the day, when I first got out of college, I went 39 00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:39,980 to Boston University. I went to BU when I graduated, I had to 40 00:02:39,980 --> 00:02:44,020 get a job right away. It's a whole, much longer story, but I 41 00:02:44,020 --> 00:02:47,320 was the concierge at the Hyatt Regency in Cambridge. If you've 42 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,840 ever been to Boston and you've driven on steroid drive and 43 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,780 looked across the river, you've seen the building it looks like, 44 00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:56,500 like a step pyramid, almost, right? That was one of the best 45 00:02:56,500 --> 00:03:01,080 gigs. I had so much fun. I got some stories. Look, read my 46 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,380 memoir when that thing comes out, I got some stories, but I 47 00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:08,820 had so much fun with my coworkers at that gig. There was 48 00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:13,260 also a couple of unfortunate incidents, but it's also it was 49 00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:17,460 a really great gig, and I became very friendly with some of the 50 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:20,720 housekeeping staff. I was the concierge, so I was like, at the 51 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,440 front desk, like, dealing with the people and stuff. But, you 52 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,960 know, I had a lock up, like, just where, like, all the 53 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,720 housekeepers and stuff did, and I became really friendly with 54 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:34,160 them. I also worked part time up in the gym at the Hyatt Regency 55 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:37,460 as well, and that was really fun, because there was a pool up 56 00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:39,980 there and a rooftop deck for sunbathing. It was like, a 57 00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:43,000 blast. Okay, anyways, we're back. I was just like 58 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:47,020 daydreaming a little bit about that. But the housekeepers 59 00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:51,460 always had these high end, incredible vacuum cleaners. They 60 00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:54,280 were, like, upright ones, like, so not one like you pulled 61 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:58,120 around behind you, right? So they were upright, and they had 62 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:02,040 this feature where you could practically lay them like so 63 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,680 there was a hinge, right? So there's the head of the vacuum 64 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,680 ran. It's like the thing, right? It's like the thing that spins 65 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:13,140 and the brush that pulls all the dirt back into the suction spot, 66 00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:16,680 right? But the bag itself, like had a handle, and you could 67 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,960 literally lay that sucker flat so you could get underneath the 68 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:24,500 furniture, in the beds, even if they were low to the ground. And 69 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:28,040 I always said to myself, someday, I'm gonna get myself 70 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:34,400 one of those fancy schmancy vacuums. Okay, so the day came 71 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,220 when I could afford to get one. Now, those suckers weren't 72 00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:40,240 cheap. I think at the time when I bought it, maybe it was like 73 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:44,380 200 bucks, I don't remember, but I remember thinking to myself, I 74 00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:48,040 did my research, right? And I was like, I'm gonna get a good 75 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:53,020 vacuum. I got this vacuum, you guys. It is still running 76 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:58,060 fantastically to this day. Now, of course, I changed the bags, 77 00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:01,860 right? I have had. There's, like a local, I think it's in 78 00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:05,520 Manchester. There's an orc vacuum cleaner specialist 79 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,540 people, and I've brought it there twice, once to replace the 80 00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:15,960 wheels, once to replace the belt. But, like, this sucker is 81 00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:21,800 built to last, okay? And I have a few things in my life that are 82 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:25,340 made that way. I refrigerate. I was just saying My sweetie the 83 00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:29,660 other day. We have almost lived in this house, let's see. It'll 84 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:35,420 be almost 19 years, and we got that fridge like when we moved 85 00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:38,900 in, and I said to my sweetie just the other day, and I know 86 00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:41,920 some people freak out. They're like, don't say it, don't jinx 87 00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:45,280 it. But like, and I'll knock on wood for good measure. But I 88 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:47,680 open that the doors up the other day, and I'm like, Look, my 89 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,280 fridge isn't fancy. It doesn't, you know, it's like a split it 90 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:54,220 opens up. One side is a freezer. One size the fridge, it doesn't 91 00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:57,340 make ice cubes. I don't need it to. I don't want a fridge that 92 00:05:57,340 --> 00:06:00,300 makes ice cubes. I don't like the way ice cubes taste from the 93 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:03,840 fridge, right? I mean, like, you know when the cycle thing? I 94 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:07,860 don't need the fridge to, like, do like, to know my schedule, or 95 00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:10,740 to have social media with all the screens, like, I don't know 96 00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:13,200 what's going on with all that new shit that they're building. 97 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:18,060 But this fridge, I've had it for almost 20 years, and it's still 98 00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:24,500 running like a champion built to last. Okay, my car, my car. I'm 99 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:30,620 still driving like a 2010 Toyota, rav4, I've only ever 100 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:34,760 owned Toyotas. I've had four Toyotas. That's all I've ever 101 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:39,980 owned. People American made, like Ford, GMC, like Bucha. 102 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:45,280 Don't come for me, okay? I'm a loyal Toyota person, right? My 103 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:49,780 my Toyotas have gone for hundreds and 1000s of miles. My 104 00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:53,020 forerunner, before I gave it like I traded it like I sold it 105 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:57,580 to somebody, was like, at 250,000 miles. My current one, 106 00:06:57,580 --> 00:07:02,580 my rav4 is at like, 168 or something like that, built to 107 00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:06,660 last. Okay, there's a reason why I'm talking about this. 108 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:11,520 Hopefully you have some good things in your life that are 109 00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:18,720 also built to last. We have become a fast a fast society, a 110 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,520 fast culture, right? We want fast food. Well, I don't want 111 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,340 fast food. I mean, once in a while, right? Once in a while, 112 00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:29,060 if you're out and you want a snack, maybe, but like, you 113 00:07:29,060 --> 00:07:32,600 know, but even then I'm eating vegan fast food, but like, fast 114 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:38,000 food, fast fashion, fast friendships, fast I can't say 115 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,800 that F word, right? All the dating apps, fast effing you 116 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,040 know what I'm saying? Everybody just wants the like, let's go. 117 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,800 Let's go. Fast, easy, cheap. 118 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:56,080 I don't know. I'm a Generation X kid. I kind of like to buy 119 00:07:56,140 --> 00:08:01,980 things and invest in things that are going to stand the test of 120 00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:07,320 time, and that is just not the way that most of the world is 121 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:12,960 working these days. So for me, when I think about like, if we 122 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,380 want to stand out, and whether that's in our personal 123 00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:20,040 relationships or in our business and our business relationships, 124 00:08:20,340 --> 00:08:24,440 we want to kind of come from that place where we are building 125 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:29,780 things that last. And I often talk to, you know, like my my 126 00:08:29,780 --> 00:08:33,800 mentoring clients, the one to one clients, but also the people 127 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:37,580 in the nest. And I say to them, you guys, all the stuff that I'm 128 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:41,980 sharing here, anything that I share or teach or a resource or 129 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:47,740 whatever. What I'm trying to do is to pass on skills that are 130 00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:52,360 going to last you for the rest of your life. This is not like a 131 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:56,680 quick, you know, get well, I don't teach on I was gonna say 132 00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:00,420 get rich quick scheme like, but that's not my vibe. Anyways. I'm 133 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:04,200 really trying to help people gather resources, tools, 134 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:08,280 practices, things that are going to change their life in the now, 135 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:12,900 but also continue to be applicable, relatable, tangible, 136 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:17,400 practical, usable for the rest of their lives. I like to create 137 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,500 and build shit that's going to last, and I want you to just 138 00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:25,400 think about this, because one of the most important things like 139 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:32,360 that that we want to build to last is our friendships, is our 140 00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:35,600 relationships, and again, whether those are personal or 141 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,900 professional. So I wanted to have a talk with you while this 142 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:41,140 has been on my mind, because when I was out on the walk 143 00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:43,660 today, I was thinking about like, you know, what are the 144 00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:47,320 things in our life that we really want to have, like, be 145 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,820 built to last for for them to stand the test of time? Like, 146 00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:55,960 what are some of the qualities that we need in our friendships, 147 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,800 in our relationships? Because, unless you're building a. 148 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,780 Program, like a product, like a physical product, right? Like, 149 00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:07,020 that's a whole other thing. I can't really talk about that in 150 00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:10,620 terms of, like, just use good quality materials. You know 151 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:13,440 what? I mean? Like everything, and we look at, and I'm going 152 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,920 off on a slight tangent here for a second. But when you look at 153 00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:20,780 the state of the environment in the world, and how much trash, 154 00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:25,340 how much stuff, how much shit, gets thrown into our landfills. 155 00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:29,420 We are poisoning the oceans. We are poisoning the land. Because 156 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,480 everybody just wants shit fast and cheap, and they don't care 157 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,960 how they get it. They don't wear care how it's getting to you. 158 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,360 They don't care what they're doing, it with it, when, when 159 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,080 it's done, you know? And there are times like here where we 160 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:46,000 live, we have to take our trash, our own trash, to the dump. And, 161 00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:49,360 you know, my sweetie and I, we try to be really mindful. Of 162 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:54,040 course, we recycle, but every time we I have to put, like a 163 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,880 trash bag, like a full trash bag, into the trash cans 164 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,720 outside. You know they're getting ready to eventually, on 165 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,600 trash day, we take him to the dump. Like, it pains me. It 166 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,320 pains me. And I like, I'm like, we're just like, two people and 167 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:11,040 some furry kids. Like, I can't even imagine with big families 168 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:14,520 with children and disposable diapers and on and on and on. I 169 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:19,800 just think like, oh my god. Like, the amount of trash. Oh, 170 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:25,280 I'm like, pulling at my face, if you're not watching this right 171 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:30,020 now. So here's my whole point. I would rather buy something Well, 172 00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:33,500 for a decent for a good price, like really invest in something 173 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:36,800 and keep it out of the landfill, because that sucker continues to 174 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:41,860 run. And I think that analogy can be applied to our 175 00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:45,700 relationships, and that's what I want to talk about. Of course, 176 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:49,540 I'm always interested in hearing from people. So if you got any 177 00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:53,200 good stories about, like, my grandfather had this one saw 178 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,780 like, I think about my uncle, who has all these tools, and 179 00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:59,380 he's had these tools for like, over 3040, years. You know what 180 00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:02,040 I mean as a carpenter. And I just think it's really cool. I 181 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:05,040 think about the instruments, like, musicians like my sweetie, 182 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,040 where these instruments that were, like, built to last, like, 183 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:12,720 there's a reason why, like, a 65 like fender, you know, amp is 184 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,660 like, that's the one, right, the fender, reverb, or whatever. 185 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:19,380 There's a reason why that gold, that Les Paul gold top, is 186 00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:23,660 worth, like, $250,000 whatever, you know. So things are built to 187 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:26,840 last, things that stick around for a long time. And I'm 188 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:31,880 guessing that most of us, if we are in relationships, we want 189 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:36,680 those friendships, we want those familial relationships or 190 00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:40,280 business relationships or whatever, to last a long time. 191 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:44,980 So let's talk about this, right? Let's talk about this. So this 192 00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:47,440 could be a friendship, this could be a marriage. This could 193 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:51,580 be a relationship between you and your customers, you and your 194 00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:56,260 clients, whatever it is. So, but we can speak, you know, because 195 00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:59,680 I think all of these things, I mean, not all of them, not the 196 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,640 one where, you know, when we're talking about necessarily like 197 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,700 intimacy, if we're talking physical intimacy like you 198 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:08,040 don't, you don't want to be having that, necessarily, with 199 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:10,740 your clients, unless maybe you're, you know, a sex worker. 200 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,580 But let's look at some of the things I wrote. I wrote a list 201 00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:19,020 of myself of some of the things, and I'm sharing these because I 202 00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:22,880 think I work with enough people, right? I work with enough 203 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,060 people, and I just know enough people to know that there are a 204 00:13:26,060 --> 00:13:29,840 lot of people who are maybe not that happy in their current 205 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,780 relationships or the state of their relationships, and there's 206 00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:36,200 some things that they wish that could be maybe different or 207 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:41,140 better or more deep, or whatever. And I think it's good 208 00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:44,620 once in a while. You know, I I've often told you guys before 209 00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:48,700 on the podcast, when, when it's my sweetie and I's anniversary, 210 00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:52,240 we always say to each other, do you want to renew the contract? 211 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,660 Right? So each year we say, Do you want to renew the contract? 212 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,480 And then we ask each other, and I posted about this publicly, 213 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,380 and he knows, and he's fine with it. And then I also my sweetie, 214 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:04,440 and then I all we also say, Are there any amendments that you 215 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,960 want to make to the contract, you know that fine print, right? 216 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,060 Are there any things like, anything you want to change, 217 00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:11,580 anything you want to update, anything you want to add, like 218 00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:14,580 whatever, you know, and I think it's important that we check in 219 00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:18,960 with each other, but here's some C's for you. These c's are kind 220 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:23,360 of important, right? So we want this consistency. We want 221 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:27,020 consistency of effort in our relationships, meaning we don't 222 00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:31,280 want people who just kind of like, you know, give up, drag 223 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,580 ass, roll their eyes, don't participate, check out, right? 224 00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:38,960 That's a C. We don't want people checking out. What we do want is 225 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:43,960 checking in. Okay? We want to be able to be checking in with one 226 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:49,120 another. Okay. We want that consistent effort, like meaning 227 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,420 that, showing that this relationship actually matters to 228 00:14:52,420 --> 00:14:54,640 you, that you're putting a little energy and a little 229 00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:58,000 effort towards this sucker, right, that you're not again, 230 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:02,400 just like taking everybody around. You for granted, like 231 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,160 they're always going to be there. Okay, so this consistent 232 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:10,620 effort, we also want clear communication. Oh, my God, so 233 00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:13,320 often, especially if you've been friends with somebody for a long 234 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,080 time, or you've been a sibling for a long time, or you've been 235 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:20,660 married or a patented or whatever, right? We have a 236 00:15:20,660 --> 00:15:24,620 tendency to just want other people to be mind readers. We 237 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:27,680 just think like, well, they know me. They should know this. Oh, 238 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:31,640 those shoulds will bite you in the ass every time, right? So 239 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:36,500 clear communication, open and honest. Don't expect people to 240 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,980 know like the you have this expectation. I always, I always 241 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:43,180 say expectations of premeditated resentments, right? So just 242 00:15:43,180 --> 00:15:47,620 don't just just clear communication if you want 243 00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:51,580 something, say it. If you don't want something, say it, you want 244 00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:56,560 more or less of something, communicate it. And I find it so 245 00:15:56,560 --> 00:16:01,620 fascinating you know that the people that you have chosen to 246 00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:05,580 partner with and say, like, hey, let's get on the same team here, 247 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:08,580 right? Like, let's be a partnership. Let's get whether 248 00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:10,920 you're hitched or married or living together or sleeping 249 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,520 together for 20 years, sharing a hot whatever the deal is. You 250 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:18,120 know, I'm like, people say, Well, I can't talk to them about 251 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,840 that. I'm like, wait a minute. You've been sharing a bed with 252 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:25,220 this person for 20 years, you've seen each other like naked, at 253 00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:30,260 your best, at your worst, sick, healthy, you like you've been 254 00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:34,040 through the gamut together. And yet we do this thing where we're 255 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:38,360 like, they can't handle the truth, or we write these stories 256 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,680 about people and on top of, like, doing that whole 257 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,220 expectation, like, they should know this already or whatever, 258 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,760 we also withhold really important information. And I'm 259 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:52,900 like, wait, what? What part of clear communication, like, did 260 00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:56,200 you miss on this whole thing? Right? So there's this thing 261 00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:02,340 about being able to, you know, have that connection, that 262 00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:06,120 comfortable connection, where you can be human in front of 263 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:09,120 that other person. You know, it's so interesting. Like, I 264 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,880 know people who have been like, Oh, I've never, like, farted in 265 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,760 front of my partner. I've never like, you know, I'm always like, 266 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,660 no, like, private bathroom. Like, you know, you can't come 267 00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:20,960 in while I'm peeing, like, whatever. And look, every 268 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:25,220 household has their own thing. I get it, but I'm thinking to 269 00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:28,580 myself, if you're sharing a home or a house with somebody for a 270 00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:32,840 wicked long time, inevitably, all the stuff that the body does 271 00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:36,200 is gonna it's gonna be exposed, right? You know what I'm saying? 272 00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:41,500 So this is idea of like, How comfortable are you creating 273 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:44,740 comfort around each other, where there's space for you to be who 274 00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:47,620 you really are, like it doesn't have to be a performance. You 275 00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:50,800 don't have to be perfect. You get to have your, you know, your 276 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:54,940 shared humanity, okay? Speaking of sharing, we also want another 277 00:17:54,940 --> 00:18:00,660 C, this shared commitment, right? A commitment to the 278 00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:06,840 relationship, and also a commitment to growth that it's 279 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:11,640 not just gonna get like, oh, you know, it's interesting. An older 280 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,700 gentleman once said to me, I thought this was really 281 00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:17,760 interesting. I am not saying across the board that this is 282 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:21,020 100% true. I'm just sharing what this gentleman said to me, and 283 00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:23,600 it made me think about it, and I've thought about it many times 284 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,080 over the years. He says Men often get married, right? And 285 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,440 again, this, this could be same, these different in same sex 286 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,040 couples, 287 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:37,100 but he said men tend to get married and they say, Oh, I hope 288 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:40,600 she never changes. You know, like they meet their high school 289 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,760 sweetheart, whatever, and they're like, Oh, this is the 290 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,060 girl from me, and I hope she never changes. Where a lot of 291 00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:49,180 times women will marry men, and they think that's okay. He'll 292 00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:52,120 change once he's with me. Yeah, he's got that annoying habit, or 293 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:54,580 he's not, he's not that talkative. He doesn't talk about 294 00:18:54,580 --> 00:18:57,220 his feelings that much, but he'll change once he's with me. 295 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,480 And I thought, Oh, interesting. So I'm not going to tell you how 296 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,720 to feel about that, but I like to just share these things, and 297 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:07,440 maybe you can think on it, think on it, and then tell me what you 298 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:12,240 think about that. Okay, so the other C, we also want 299 00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:16,260 connection, which means we gotta spend some time together, right? 300 00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:19,020 We gotta communicate, clearly, communicate your wants, your 301 00:19:19,020 --> 00:19:22,940 needs, the desires, and then connect, spend some time 302 00:19:22,940 --> 00:19:27,260 together. It's so important, right? If you're always just off 303 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:31,760 doing your own thing all the time, and you never have that 304 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:35,900 field where you cross, where there's that moment of like, 305 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:40,360 where you're actually interested in what the other person is up 306 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,380 to right those little check ins at the end of the day, you know, 307 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:47,740 before after you put the kids to bed, or before you go to sleep 308 00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:50,320 or whatever. Like, you know, just like check in with each 309 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,680 other throughout the day once in a while, not saying you have to 310 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,740 constantly be texting each other and calling each other or 311 00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:59,860 whatever, you know, that's not for everybody, but at least. 312 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,600 Have that moment where you feel like you've kind of plugged in, 313 00:20:03,780 --> 00:20:07,320 and you've connected a little bit, okay, be willing. Here's 314 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:11,040 another big C like you got to be willing to compromise. You've 315 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:15,360 got to be willing to compromise, right? It's not always going to 316 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:19,500 be your way of the highway, and it's a really beautiful and 317 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:22,280 humbling thing. Now, I'm not saying you should compromise on 318 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,580 wicked, important values that you hold. Like, I'm not saying 319 00:20:25,580 --> 00:20:29,180 you should give up your own identity and, you know, and and 320 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:33,740 all of a sudden, like, you know, whatever. Like, I'm not saying 321 00:20:33,740 --> 00:20:37,160 that, but compromise on the things that don't really matter. 322 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,900 Like, just Jesus, if they want to watch a particular movie. 323 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:45,640 Just watch it, and likewise, like vice versa, right? This is 324 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,520 true for all family members, too, by the way, all of these, I 325 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:52,540 think, and then, oh my god, here's another one, 326 00:20:53,020 --> 00:21:00,900 constructive, constructive, conflict resolution, fight fair, 327 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,320 if you're going to fight, like, if you're going to discuss, if 328 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,440 you're going to bring up a sensitive subject, let's not 329 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:12,060 resort to name calling. I have just been like, that was one of 330 00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:16,860 the things that my sweetie and I, you know, I've been in many 331 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:21,920 relationships where I have been called some names. I have 332 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:26,660 probably done my own fair share of name calling myself, or 333 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:32,720 certainly I might not have done name calling so much. Mine would 334 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:36,680 be more to like, maybe raise my voice and swear and get angry. 335 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,400 But I don't know. I don't remember. I'm sure somebody out 336 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,120 there is rolling there, somebody else that could be rolling their 337 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:46,600 eyes right now and being like, really, I seem to remember, and 338 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:51,460 maybe I don't remember being necessarily a super big name 339 00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:55,240 call us so much as but I would definitely be like, Buck you, or 340 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,240 like, whatever, right? So when I got together with my speedy, I 341 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,560 was like, yeah, no, I don't want to do this the way that I've 342 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,380 done other things. Like, I really want to be committed to, 343 00:22:04,380 --> 00:22:07,980 like, basically, and we'll get into what I'm about to say, 344 00:22:07,980 --> 00:22:11,400 like, for these next things, but let's, let's go over these, 345 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:15,780 right? So, so far, consistent effort, clear communication, 346 00:22:15,780 --> 00:22:20,040 right? We want open and honest communication. We want to be 347 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:24,920 able to really, you know, be seen and be heard in our 348 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,820 relationships. And so we've gotta, we've gotta be willing to 349 00:22:28,820 --> 00:22:31,340 be vulnerable in that communication and open up and 350 00:22:31,340 --> 00:22:34,400 talk about our feelings, etc. Okay, we want to have a shared 351 00:22:34,580 --> 00:22:37,100 commitment to the relationship and a shared commitment to 352 00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:42,760 growth that you're both on a path of wanting to evolve, 353 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,300 right? Not keep each other in a box of like when we got married, 354 00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:49,300 this is who you were. Well, when we set it up, this is who you 355 00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:53,200 were. It's like Jesus. We want to evolve, don't we, don't we 356 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,680 want to grow and keep getting to know ourselves and know each 357 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,500 other and remember who we truly are. Okay. We want to have 358 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:02,880 connection. We want to be able to compromise and we want to 359 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:07,920 have constructive, constructive conflict resolution. But what is 360 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:12,840 some of the other things that make things be more built to 361 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:18,240 last right, to stand the test of time, to evolve and grow over 362 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:22,340 the years? And I want to say, I want to hit pause for to put in 363 00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:28,100 a little caveat here. I'm not a person right, who believes like 364 00:23:28,100 --> 00:23:31,460 I wasn't necessarily hell bent on getting married in this 365 00:23:31,460 --> 00:23:35,360 lifetime. It happened to happen. It happened later in my like it 366 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:39,860 happened in my 40s. You know what I mean. But, and while I 367 00:23:39,860 --> 00:23:44,020 believe that a union like of marriage can be a beautiful and 368 00:23:44,020 --> 00:23:48,760 powerful thing. I don't always think it's necessary, and I also 369 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:52,000 don't think that people should just stayed married forever, 370 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,520 especially if they're both miserable, and they're making 371 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,980 everybody else around them miserable, including their 372 00:23:56,980 --> 00:24:00,600 children, by staying in a marriage when they clearly don't 373 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,540 want to be around one another each anymore, you know what I 374 00:24:03,540 --> 00:24:06,300 mean. So I'm not talking about building it to last and just 375 00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:08,880 sucking it up and stuffing it down and staying with somebody 376 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,460 who's verbally, emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually 377 00:24:11,460 --> 00:24:14,940 abusive. I do not believe in that, you know. So I just want 378 00:24:14,940 --> 00:24:17,640 to say that there's a reason why I don't think that everybody 379 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,220 should just run and get a divorce as soon as things are 380 00:24:20,220 --> 00:24:23,540 had. I think there's a reason why there's counselors and 381 00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:27,380 couple therapy and people you can talk to and working some 382 00:24:27,380 --> 00:24:31,640 shit out. And I've also been around long enough to see that 383 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,840 when people get people experience unhappiness or 384 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:40,480 whatever in a relationship, we can be pretty quick to think 385 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:44,560 it's the other person that they're the problem, when really 386 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,840 that's when we need to take a look in the mirror. Take a look 387 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,780 in the soul mirror, as I say, and get honest. Get honest with 388 00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:52,960 yourself about take a fearless moral inventory, as they say in 389 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:57,220 12 step programs, right? Take a look at yourself and a lot of 390 00:24:57,220 --> 00:25:01,740 times our own dissatisfied. Action of self, with who we are, 391 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:07,260 what we're doing or not doing, whatever we can. Take that kind 392 00:25:07,260 --> 00:25:11,700 of malaise, that general like and we blame it on other people. 393 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,300 I'm not saying your partner isn't part of the problem, but a 394 00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:19,440 lot of times, Hello, I'm the problem. It's me as as what is 395 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,880 it? Taylor Swift, that that's her song. Okay, so here are some 396 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:26,000 of the other things, right? So just to wrap that up in a little 397 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,520 bow, I don't think you should stay in something that you're 398 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,820 miserable in. So I'm not saying that all relationships should be 399 00:25:31,820 --> 00:25:34,880 built to last. I think some people are going to come in and 400 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,180 out of our lives for different reasons, different seasons, etc. 401 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,940 Okay, here's some other things, and I'm kind of sharing these is 402 00:25:42,940 --> 00:25:46,000 like a little checklist for you. If you are somebody who's in a 403 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,180 relationship, or if you're somebody who wants to get into a 404 00:25:49,180 --> 00:25:52,300 relationship, here are some things you might want to be 405 00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:56,860 aware of. And I'm not a, I'm not a hashtag relationship, you 406 00:25:56,860 --> 00:26:00,240 know, therapist, or anything like that, but I'm in the 407 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,420 business of people, and I've been in enough relationships, 408 00:26:03,420 --> 00:26:06,600 right to know that these are some things that help, like 409 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,140 human behavior, these are some things that are going to help. 410 00:26:10,740 --> 00:26:15,900 Is there trust? Do you trust your your friend? Do you trust 411 00:26:15,900 --> 00:26:18,840 your sibling? Do you trust your family members? Do you trust 412 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,460 your partner, the person that you live with that you share 413 00:26:22,460 --> 00:26:26,420 your life with, you know what I mean? That's kind of important. 414 00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:28,940 Without trust, how are you going to you're always going to be 415 00:26:28,940 --> 00:26:31,760 holding your cards close to your chest. You're going to have your 416 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,160 dukes up. You're not going to be willing to be vulnerable if 417 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,500 there's no trust, you're not going to be willing to be 418 00:26:36,620 --> 00:26:40,400 honest, to be seen, if there's no trust to share yourself, 419 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,720 right to open yourself up, emotionally, mentally, 420 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,420 spiritually, physically, if there's no trust, it's not going 421 00:26:46,420 --> 00:26:52,720 to happen. Is there mutual respect? This is such a big one. 422 00:26:52,780 --> 00:26:55,660 You know, I'm just not interested in being in 423 00:26:55,660 --> 00:26:58,600 relationships with people who don't have, like, basic respect 424 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,380 for me. You know what I mean, if you don't like me, if you don't 425 00:27:01,380 --> 00:27:04,740 want me around, if you think I'm an idiot, if you just have no 426 00:27:04,740 --> 00:27:08,760 interest in being like, kind to me. Like, I don't, I don't know. 427 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:12,180 I'm all sad. Like, take it somewhere else, right? I'm like, 428 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:16,380 I'm almost 57 I only got so many summers left, so many years 429 00:27:16,380 --> 00:27:19,020 left. I want to be around people that want to be around me, and 430 00:27:19,020 --> 00:27:21,260 I'm going to talk to me like, I'm a fucking asshole. You know 431 00:27:21,260 --> 00:27:24,440 what I'm saying? So, like, yeah, no. Like, not interested in 432 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:29,240 being around the jerks, not saying I cannot work on 433 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,000 relationships with difficult people. I don't think we should 434 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,640 just run away from everybody that we find a little 435 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:37,400 challenging, right? There's something, there's something 436 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:41,260 like, there's some good spiritual like, I'm, like, 437 00:27:41,260 --> 00:27:43,480 kneading my hands, like I'm making bread, like I'm kneading 438 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:47,500 dough, right? This there can be something good about spending 439 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:50,440 time sometimes. Now I'm not talking about people who harm 440 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:54,100 you or distress you. I'm just saying, like, we don't always 441 00:27:54,100 --> 00:27:58,060 have to agree with everybody all the time in order to have a 442 00:27:58,060 --> 00:28:02,220 relationship with them. Okay? So trust, mutual respect, 443 00:28:02,340 --> 00:28:07,860 reliability. Don't we all want to have, like, first of all, be 444 00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:11,400 a person that's reliable, but also have other people that 445 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,860 we're in close relationship to to have that kind of 446 00:28:13,860 --> 00:28:19,320 reliability. Oh, my God, when people are responsible, man, 447 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,940 does that just take my nervous system, like right down to a 448 00:28:22,940 --> 00:28:26,180 much more regulated place when I don't have to do mental 449 00:28:26,180 --> 00:28:29,480 gymnastics, worrying and wondering, are they going to 450 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:33,140 keep their word, and even if they break their word, it's 451 00:28:33,140 --> 00:28:36,320 probably going to be for a reason that they couldn't avoid. 452 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,600 Like reliability, to me, is like sexy people who show up, people 453 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,660 who are there for you, people who keep their word, people who 454 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,720 don't just say they're a friend. I'm doing air quotes, they 455 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:50,440 actually act like a friend. They show up like a friend. You know 456 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:55,600 what I'm saying. So yeah, that's good. Here's another thing, time 457 00:28:55,600 --> 00:29:00,480 together. Spending time together is really important. I know a 458 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:04,020 lot of people do like long distance relationships, I find 459 00:29:04,020 --> 00:29:07,500 that most people don't do them well, right? They don't usually 460 00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:13,320 survive. So time together, and sometimes that time together for 461 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,960 periods of time of travel or whatever. It might have to be 462 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,780 over zoom or FaceTime or whatever. But finding that time 463 00:29:18,780 --> 00:29:22,400 to have connection and intimacy and to connect is really 464 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:23,000 important. 465 00:29:24,980 --> 00:29:29,840 Appreciation and gratitude. This is another way that you build 466 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:34,460 especially in business relationships too. If your 467 00:29:34,460 --> 00:29:38,000 clients feel like you really appreciate them, this is how you 468 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,200 can build that loyalty in relationships is that you're 469 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,860 somebody who has their trust, has their respect. You are 470 00:29:44,860 --> 00:29:48,280 reliable, that they've spent some time with you, getting to 471 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,700 know your business, your brand, whatever, and that they know 472 00:29:51,700 --> 00:29:54,640 that there's like that mutual appreciation and gratitude, 473 00:29:57,100 --> 00:29:59,740 those things can get out of balance. You know, there can be 474 00:29:59,740 --> 00:30:02,220 time. Times when you feel like, taken for granted, and you're 475 00:30:02,220 --> 00:30:04,800 like, there's not really a lot of appreciation and gratitude 476 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,040 happening right now and granted. There's going to be seasons, 477 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,320 right? There's going to be times in each person's life where 478 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,260 maybe somebody's grieving, or somebody just had a baby, or 479 00:30:13,260 --> 00:30:16,560 somebody just is going through a thing right there. They're 480 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,020 having some, you know, they're dealing with their mental 481 00:30:19,020 --> 00:30:21,800 health, whatever, like, not everybody's gonna be on point 482 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:26,660 100% of the time, but most of the time, right? If we can be 483 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:32,840 expressing not just like keeping it in your head, right? Express 484 00:30:32,900 --> 00:30:37,640 your gratitude. Send a card. Send a thank you note. Call them 485 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,780 on the phone, let them hear your voice, right? Send something 486 00:30:40,780 --> 00:30:45,100 snail mail like surprise them. Appreciation and gratitude, man, 487 00:30:45,100 --> 00:30:49,300 goes a really long way. Say thank you. Say you're welcome. 488 00:30:49,540 --> 00:30:53,680 Notice the everyday little things and comment on it. Hey, I 489 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,380 noticed that you brought the trash bins back in blah, blah, 490 00:30:56,380 --> 00:30:59,020 blah from the end of the driveway, right? Hey, thank you 491 00:30:59,020 --> 00:31:01,360 for feeding the kids. I always said I get up in the morning say 492 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,360 to my sweetie, thanks for doing the dishes. Doing the dishes, 493 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,360 thanks for doing this right. Because I want him to know that 494 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,720 I see what he does. And same thing for here, he'll say to me, 495 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,240 thanks for going grocery shopping, thanks for doing this 496 00:31:12,420 --> 00:31:17,280 right. Because I don't ever want him to feel taken for granted, 497 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,480 and I certainly don't like feeling that way either. So I'm 498 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,180 this is just like, again, this is just my list. And look, I 499 00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:26,120 could put probably another 25 things on this list, but let's 500 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,540 not, let's not do overkill. We only have so much time. Here's 501 00:31:29,540 --> 00:31:31,940 another thing that's really important. If you want to build 502 00:31:31,940 --> 00:31:35,540 shit that lasts, we got to have some self awareness, man. We've 503 00:31:35,540 --> 00:31:39,920 got to have some emotional awareness, and we need to have 504 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:43,480 some emotional intelligence, and we really need to have some 505 00:31:43,540 --> 00:31:47,620 empathy for one another. If you don't know what you're feeling, 506 00:31:47,620 --> 00:31:50,200 and you don't know how to express your feelings, and you 507 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:54,820 have no idea if you are just like, shut off emotionally. This 508 00:31:54,820 --> 00:31:58,960 is one of the biggest things that I hear. You know, women 509 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:03,120 complain about with their male partners is that you know he 510 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,580 doesn't even know how he feels. He's not in touch with his 511 00:32:05,580 --> 00:32:09,780 emotions. But here's the flip side of that, too, ladies, 512 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:14,100 women, people, if you want somebody to have their feelings, 513 00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:16,860 and they're allowed to have all of their feelings so you can't, 514 00:32:16,860 --> 00:32:20,540 then shame men for crying. I think this is such a fascinating 515 00:32:20,540 --> 00:32:22,820 thing about the difference between how women are raised, or 516 00:32:22,820 --> 00:32:25,580 girls are raised and boys are raised, or children are raised 517 00:32:25,580 --> 00:32:28,640 in our culture, where we do everything, like pink, blue, 518 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:32,660 like we try to separate, I'm like humans, humans, humans, 519 00:32:32,660 --> 00:32:35,600 humans, which means feelings, feelings, which means it's not 520 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:39,380 like women only got feelings and men Didn't emotions. The 521 00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:44,080 chemical cocktails in our brain exists in both our brains. I'm 522 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:49,000 not saying things might not be slightly different. Men are just 523 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,180 as sensitive. Most men are just as sensitive and feel as deeply. 524 00:32:52,420 --> 00:32:55,300 They just either got it yelled out of them, beat out of them, 525 00:32:55,300 --> 00:32:59,920 shamed out of them, blamed out when they were kids. So women 526 00:33:00,220 --> 00:33:04,680 don't get weird around like, let your man be human. Let him have 527 00:33:04,740 --> 00:33:09,480 you know, have empathy for the full spectrum of the rainbow of 528 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,500 human emotions, right? Like all parts of you are welcome here. 529 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,620 Okay, not that, not the abusive pots. We're not fans of that 530 00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:19,800 pot. But you know what I'm saying? Okay, have your own 531 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,540 emotional awareness. Have some empathy from one another. Okay? 532 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:29,300 Oh, my God. Individual growth, so important, so important. 533 00:33:29,540 --> 00:33:34,400 Please. Don't like get together in 1970 and then nobody. Read a 534 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:38,360 book, for the love of Jesus Christ, read some books. Read 535 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:42,460 some books. Read them together. Take some classes. Take a 536 00:33:42,460 --> 00:33:48,400 course. Expand your mind. Get a new hobby, like Grow. Grow. 537 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:52,060 Don't become a stagnant pool, like, where mosquitoes and all 538 00:33:52,060 --> 00:33:55,360 the bugs gather. You know what I'm saying? Like, no, like, 539 00:33:55,660 --> 00:33:58,780 expand. I'm doing this thing, like, from my hat, like my hat, 540 00:33:58,780 --> 00:34:03,300 like a big circle. Like, expand. Big circle. Expand yourself. 541 00:34:03,300 --> 00:34:08,640 Open your mind. Keep your mind open. Keep your heart open, keep 542 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:16,380 your ears open. Right, which leads me to this right is open 543 00:34:16,860 --> 00:34:23,000 eyes open hot. Open mind open, which is we want to be really 544 00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:31,220 good listeners. Pay attention. Pay attention. Paying attention 545 00:34:31,220 --> 00:34:35,060 is one of the greatest ways that we show love. I am interested in 546 00:34:35,060 --> 00:34:37,820 what you have to say, and it's there's a difference between 547 00:34:37,820 --> 00:34:42,160 really listening and really hearing. You know what I mean? 548 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,560 Like, not just like, Oh, I hear the words coming out of your 549 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,260 mouth, but I'm not paying attention, right? Put down on 550 00:34:47,260 --> 00:34:49,960 your damn phone. If you're sweetie or your partner or your 551 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,080 kid or somebody that matters to you is trying to talk to you, 552 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:57,700 take a moment. Flip that sucker down. Pay attention. Here's 553 00:34:57,700 --> 00:35:00,120 another thing that I do sometimes, right? We're all. All 554 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,660 in the habit of it. Somebody's in the other room. You can't see 555 00:35:03,660 --> 00:35:06,060 them. You just walk in and you're already talking, and you 556 00:35:06,060 --> 00:35:09,300 go in and you see they're doing something, right? So we all do 557 00:35:09,300 --> 00:35:13,260 it to each other. So my sweetie and I have often said, you know, 558 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,720 to each other, just give me a minute, like, if I'm mid 559 00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:18,300 thought, or mid if I'm writing some I don't want to forget what 560 00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:20,660 I was doing. And I'll just say to him, I mean, obviously, if 561 00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:23,060 it's an emergency, I'll put my phone down, but sometimes I'll 562 00:35:23,060 --> 00:35:26,780 just say, just give me one second, because I want to be 563 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:31,100 able to give you my full attention. I don't want to half 564 00:35:31,100 --> 00:35:33,860 ass it. Now, look, we're not perfect. We don't always get it 565 00:35:33,860 --> 00:35:37,220 right. I'm deaf as a haddock. I can't hear him most of the time, 566 00:35:37,220 --> 00:35:42,640 right, so he speaks. His his tone of voice is just like, 567 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:46,420 like, really, sometimes hard for my ears to catch. He and I have 568 00:35:46,420 --> 00:35:49,900 talked about this, like, ad nauseam, right? He's like, I say 569 00:35:49,900 --> 00:35:52,780 patience of a saint when it comes to repeating himself 570 00:35:52,780 --> 00:35:57,640 around me. But it just shows like, like, really try to listen 571 00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:01,620 and be present, right? Like, pay attention. So, like, shut your 572 00:36:01,620 --> 00:36:03,660 mouth. That's why I was laughing. I was like, open ears, 573 00:36:03,660 --> 00:36:08,700 open heart, open mind, right? But shut your mouth once in a 574 00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:12,900 while, and really listen to your partner. This can be wicked 575 00:36:12,900 --> 00:36:16,500 helpful in starting to help build things that last. Because, 576 00:36:16,980 --> 00:36:19,860 you know, women will often say he doesn't hear me, he doesn't 577 00:36:19,860 --> 00:36:21,800 get me. It's another way of saying he doesn't get me, 578 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:26,540 doesn't understand me, right? And we want to be heard, all of 579 00:36:26,660 --> 00:36:29,960 us do? We want to be heard. We want to know that we matter 580 00:36:30,260 --> 00:36:32,840 again. That goes back to appreciation and gratitude, like 581 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:38,120 let people know I see you, I get you, I understand you, I feel 582 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:42,460 you, or even if I don't, because I haven't been in that exact 583 00:36:42,460 --> 00:36:46,060 position. I wish I did. I wish I could, but I'm still here for 584 00:36:46,060 --> 00:36:50,260 you. You know what I'm saying? Okay, individual growth, yes, 585 00:36:50,380 --> 00:36:55,120 but shared goal, like, shared goals, you got to know you're on 586 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:59,140 the same team. If one of you is like, no, I really want to save 587 00:36:59,140 --> 00:37:02,280 because I want to pay off the mortgage earlier, like, get this 588 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:05,460 thing paid off, and the other one's like, Copacabana, let's go 589 00:37:05,460 --> 00:37:09,420 drink and booze and potty and travel and save nothing, right? 590 00:37:09,420 --> 00:37:12,420 It's like, that is not gonna work. You guys gotta have some 591 00:37:12,420 --> 00:37:17,040 shared goals, yo. You know what I'm saying. And definitely some 592 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:20,300 check ins. I already said this a connection. You want to do these 593 00:37:20,300 --> 00:37:23,180 check ins. But here's a little tip. Here's a little something 594 00:37:23,180 --> 00:37:26,540 I've learned over the years. Okay, everybody's different. My 595 00:37:26,540 --> 00:37:30,860 sweetie and I can sit down and talk ad nauseum with each other 596 00:37:30,860 --> 00:37:35,180 over the kitchen table about things, right? But not everybody 597 00:37:35,180 --> 00:37:42,280 can, so some people do better expressing what's going on 598 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:46,780 inside of them by being in motion. For some people that's 599 00:37:46,780 --> 00:37:51,460 taking a drive, for some people that's taking a walk, right? Get 600 00:37:51,460 --> 00:37:56,320 to know what works for your Patna, some people like to be in 601 00:37:56,320 --> 00:38:00,120 motion. It does something to the brain, right? It helps them to 602 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,300 do. We already know that walking helps with creativity, creative 603 00:38:03,300 --> 00:38:07,980 thinking, blah, blah. But you know, don't always insist that 604 00:38:07,980 --> 00:38:12,060 the important conversations, like I know so many parents who 605 00:38:12,060 --> 00:38:12,540 say to me, 606 00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:17,819 I talk to my kid when he's in the car with me, when he's 607 00:38:17,819 --> 00:38:21,079 trapped, like on the way to school, or like taking them 608 00:38:21,079 --> 00:38:23,959 clothes shop or whatever the thing they like, trap their kids 609 00:38:23,959 --> 00:38:26,479 in the car and try to force their kids to talk to I think 610 00:38:26,479 --> 00:38:31,339 it's so funny. Oh my god, so But find out. Find out when you and 611 00:38:31,339 --> 00:38:34,339 your sweetie, you and your partner, you and your bestie, 612 00:38:34,339 --> 00:38:38,119 you and your family members, right, do their best connecting 613 00:38:38,119 --> 00:38:41,619 and talking and don't always assist like somebody might be 614 00:38:41,619 --> 00:38:44,379 like, Can we take a walk in the woods, or can we blah, blah, 615 00:38:44,379 --> 00:38:48,519 blah, whatever the thing is right, and see what works for 616 00:38:48,519 --> 00:38:53,379 them. And like I said, I could go on and on and on and on, but 617 00:38:53,379 --> 00:38:56,499 it was really just looking at these items, these things that I 618 00:38:56,499 --> 00:39:00,099 had right, my fridge, my car, my vacuum. And I was like, Man, 619 00:39:00,099 --> 00:39:03,299 these suckers are built to last. And then I started to think, is 620 00:39:03,299 --> 00:39:06,419 there anything else in our life right now that's really built to 621 00:39:06,419 --> 00:39:09,719 last? I'm like, so much is like again, fast fashion, fast food, 622 00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,559 fast fast communication, fast everything. Everything is just 623 00:39:13,559 --> 00:39:17,399 like, move, move, move. I said, Yeah, you know what? Like 624 00:39:17,999 --> 00:39:22,819 relationships can be really built to last, if we're willing 625 00:39:22,819 --> 00:39:27,499 to pour into them, if we're willing to slow down and take a 626 00:39:27,499 --> 00:39:31,399 look at these things, right? So ask yourself just kind of go 627 00:39:31,399 --> 00:39:34,219 through this. Have I been showing consistent effort in my 628 00:39:34,219 --> 00:39:37,819 relationship? Have I been commuting, communicating clearly 629 00:39:37,999 --> 00:39:40,899 with my clients, with my customers, with my sweet hat, 630 00:39:40,899 --> 00:39:43,899 with my best friend, whoever with my siblings, right, my 631 00:39:43,899 --> 00:39:47,499 parents or whatever your thing is, right? Is there a shared 632 00:39:47,499 --> 00:39:50,679 commitment here? Are we both still committed to making this 633 00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:55,179 relationship, whatever kind of relationship it is, work, right? 634 00:39:55,539 --> 00:40:01,619 Are we committed to growing together? Side by side on the 635 00:40:01,619 --> 00:40:05,879 same team, right? Are we still putting an effort to stay 636 00:40:05,939 --> 00:40:11,159 connected, right? Are we willing to compromise? Do we know how to 637 00:40:11,159 --> 00:40:14,999 constructively have conflict, right, without like flinging 638 00:40:14,999 --> 00:40:18,119 like names at each other and being unkind and then doing the 639 00:40:18,119 --> 00:40:21,199 silent treatment, or somebody slamming the door and walking 640 00:40:21,199 --> 00:40:25,339 out. Do you know how many adults, I always think of it 641 00:40:25,339 --> 00:40:28,339 like this, adult children, because so many adults, we're 642 00:40:28,339 --> 00:40:32,899 really just little kids in big bodies. So many adults have 643 00:40:33,079 --> 00:40:38,119 abandonment issues. So let me say this, if you are somebody 644 00:40:38,119 --> 00:40:42,339 who insists on being a door Slammer in a leva when you're 645 00:40:42,339 --> 00:40:46,299 fighting with somebody. Do you know what would like really be 646 00:40:46,299 --> 00:40:51,099 helpful is if you, first of all learned maybe a better way than 647 00:40:51,099 --> 00:40:56,199 that. But also, if you are going to leave like you just need to 648 00:40:56,199 --> 00:40:59,139 go outside and take a walk so you don't say something you're 649 00:40:59,139 --> 00:41:03,299 gonna regret. Tell your partner, I'm going to go outside. I just 650 00:41:03,299 --> 00:41:05,819 need to get some fresh air. I need to clear my head. I need to 651 00:41:05,879 --> 00:41:08,879 take a walk. I don't want to say anything I'm going to regret or 652 00:41:08,879 --> 00:41:13,979 anything unkind, but I'll be back. I'm coming back. I want 653 00:41:13,979 --> 00:41:16,979 you to know I'm coming back to talk to you that can make a 654 00:41:16,979 --> 00:41:20,359 really big difference. Okay, and then ask yourself, about these 655 00:41:20,359 --> 00:41:25,339 suckers too. Do we have a shared trust here? Do I trust this 656 00:41:25,339 --> 00:41:31,219 person? Do they trust me? Have I been trustworthy? Hmm, have they 657 00:41:31,219 --> 00:41:35,599 been trustworthy, right? Is there mutual respect between us? 658 00:41:35,599 --> 00:41:40,539 Does it flow both ways? Are we reliable with one one another. 659 00:41:40,539 --> 00:41:43,899 Are we responsible? Do we keep our word to each other? Do we do 660 00:41:43,899 --> 00:41:47,919 our best to not break promises, right? Do we spend time 661 00:41:47,919 --> 00:41:50,979 together? Is there a true connection? Is there verbal 662 00:41:50,979 --> 00:41:53,739 intimacy, emotional intimacy, physical intimacy? No, you're 663 00:41:53,739 --> 00:41:56,739 not always going to have but physical intimacy doesn't always 664 00:41:56,739 --> 00:41:58,899 have to be sex, right? It could be like, are we affectionate 665 00:41:58,899 --> 00:42:01,739 with one another? Do we show our love? Do we hug each other? Do 666 00:42:01,739 --> 00:42:04,679 we say, I love you? Do we kiss each other goodbye on the cheek, 667 00:42:04,679 --> 00:42:08,099 the mouth, whatever the thing is, right? Is there appreciation 668 00:42:08,099 --> 00:42:12,479 and gratitude? Do you take the time to say thank you? You're 669 00:42:12,479 --> 00:42:15,899 welcome. I appreciate that. I saw you. I'm grateful for you 670 00:42:15,899 --> 00:42:20,359 every day, whatever emotional awareness and empathy, do you 671 00:42:20,359 --> 00:42:23,659 have emotional intelligence? Do you know what you're feeling? Do 672 00:42:23,659 --> 00:42:27,319 you understand what's going on inside of you? Do you know why 673 00:42:27,439 --> 00:42:29,719 you do what you do? Think, what you think, say, what you say, 674 00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:32,179 believe, what you believe. You got to know yourself, right? You 675 00:42:32,179 --> 00:42:36,619 got to have some emotional awareness, individual growth, 676 00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:39,979 shared goals, check ins, and then hear the compromise. We 677 00:42:39,979 --> 00:42:42,999 cannot forget compromise. Are you willing to compromise? Maybe 678 00:42:42,999 --> 00:42:46,779 I already said that, and then here's another wicked, big one, 679 00:42:47,679 --> 00:42:52,659 forgiveness. Are you willing to forgive one another for the 680 00:42:52,659 --> 00:42:57,579 times when you are inevitably going to be clumsy, you are 681 00:42:57,579 --> 00:43:00,039 going to be clumsy, you are going to flub it up, you are 682 00:43:00,039 --> 00:43:02,639 going to trespass you. We're going to step on toes. You're 683 00:43:02,639 --> 00:43:06,119 going to, like, interrupt them when there's, like, there's 1001 684 00:43:07,139 --> 00:43:11,519 ways where we can be really annoying as human beings, and 685 00:43:11,519 --> 00:43:15,059 we're trying to, like, build a life with somebody, and we have 686 00:43:15,059 --> 00:43:18,779 to put up with each other's nuances and quirks and habits 687 00:43:18,779 --> 00:43:23,779 and patterns and bullshit. So forgiveness, we have to learn 688 00:43:23,779 --> 00:43:28,699 how to forgive ourselves and forgive one another. And I'm not 689 00:43:28,699 --> 00:43:31,939 telling people that you need to forgive like awful, big things. 690 00:43:31,939 --> 00:43:35,359 That's not for me to say, but just the day to day stuff. Can 691 00:43:35,359 --> 00:43:38,179 we just fucking give each other a pass once in a while? Can we 692 00:43:38,179 --> 00:43:41,739 just let some things slide once in a while, right? And if 693 00:43:41,739 --> 00:43:45,819 something is really, really, really bothering you figure out 694 00:43:45,819 --> 00:43:49,059 what it is about. The thing, the behavior, the pattern, he leaves 695 00:43:49,119 --> 00:43:52,419 the toilet seat up. She leaves, she leaves her wet towel on the 696 00:43:52,419 --> 00:43:55,359 floor, whatever, right? Whatever. The thing is, you 697 00:43:55,359 --> 00:43:58,059 know, figure out why it's really bothering you, and then 698 00:43:58,119 --> 00:44:02,279 communicate clearly, go back up to those C's and like, you know, 699 00:44:02,459 --> 00:44:07,439 because we want, we want these things to last. So I hope this 700 00:44:07,439 --> 00:44:11,159 has been helpful in some way. And again, I want to reiterate, 701 00:44:11,159 --> 00:44:13,619 not all relationships are going to last right? In A Course in 702 00:44:13,619 --> 00:44:16,739 Miracles, we talk about it like the three levels of teaching, 703 00:44:16,799 --> 00:44:19,199 there are some relationships that are going to be like, bing, 704 00:44:19,199 --> 00:44:21,859 bang, boom. They last for 30 seconds. Literally, I see you in 705 00:44:21,859 --> 00:44:25,159 an elevator. We smile, we say, hi, burp. Opportunity for 706 00:44:25,159 --> 00:44:28,819 connection. Beautiful. It happened right next level up is 707 00:44:28,819 --> 00:44:31,699 like when we spend some time together. Maybe we went to grade 708 00:44:31,699 --> 00:44:34,759 school together. Maybe we were friends, like, you know, for 709 00:44:34,759 --> 00:44:37,879 like, three months at summer camp. Maybe we went to, like, 710 00:44:37,879 --> 00:44:40,159 whatever, right, some relationships people come in. 711 00:44:40,159 --> 00:44:43,359 You date them for a year. It's over. But time served. Like 712 00:44:43,359 --> 00:44:46,599 there was a meaning, there's there was a reason why you guys 713 00:44:46,599 --> 00:44:49,539 met, and then you kind, I'm kind of doing this helix thing where 714 00:44:49,539 --> 00:44:52,539 I'm making my hands swim, like in this line where you're going 715 00:44:52,539 --> 00:44:54,939 to come in and then you're going to go back out and, like, that's 716 00:44:54,999 --> 00:44:57,459 it. And then the third level of teaching, and this is kind of 717 00:44:57,459 --> 00:45:01,259 what I'm talking about today, where we. Commit to a person we 718 00:45:01,259 --> 00:45:04,499 commit to a relationship, and whether that's in a family. And 719 00:45:04,499 --> 00:45:07,259 look, sometimes you do need to leave your family of origin 720 00:45:07,259 --> 00:45:09,599 because it is dysfunctional as 721 00:45:10,860 --> 00:45:13,980 right? I'm not saying everybody should stay together forever. 722 00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,820 Not a fan. I think when it's supposed to be, when it works, 723 00:45:17,820 --> 00:45:22,160 when everybody is contributing and giving and trying to make it 724 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,100 work, like that's a beautiful thing, but we shouldn't stay in 725 00:45:25,100 --> 00:45:29,300 situations that are damaging and dangerous and brutal. Okay, 726 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,180 nothing good is going to come out or violent. Nothing good is 727 00:45:32,180 --> 00:45:34,280 going to come out of that. And there's lots of ways to be 728 00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:37,880 violent. I'm going to have another podcast about that. But 729 00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:41,080 here's the thing, right, third level of teaching. These are the 730 00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:45,760 people that come into your life, and like, you spend some a good 731 00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:49,240 chunk of time together. And look, I've often jokingly said, 732 00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:52,240 right? Like, mentors are great. Like, the people that like, help 733 00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:54,520 you teach you, it's so nice. Mentors are great, but 734 00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:58,180 tormentors will take you a long way too. And it's kind of like, 735 00:45:58,180 --> 00:46:00,600 and I don't mean tormenting you like they're physically harming 736 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,720 you, but like, sometimes we just get on each other's nerves, 737 00:46:03,780 --> 00:46:06,780 right? Sometimes you just like bumping up against each other, 738 00:46:06,900 --> 00:46:10,380 and whether that's siblings or like, whatever. But here's the 739 00:46:10,380 --> 00:46:13,740 thing, right? That's a third level of teaching, and if both 740 00:46:13,740 --> 00:46:17,160 parties are willing to commit, all relationships have the 741 00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:20,480 potential to be holy relationships, if both people 742 00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:24,020 are aware, and they're trying their best to love one another. 743 00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:30,920 And that is the final piece here, the love. This is how 744 00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:35,120 things get really saved it for last, right? This is how things 745 00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:42,280 really get built to last is their love present, and not 746 00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:46,900 just, Oh, I love you. Do the words and the actions? Are they 747 00:46:46,900 --> 00:46:52,840 congruent? Because when there's deep love, right, people can 748 00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:59,560 usually right, usually make most things work. Not always you need 749 00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,860 the other things. You need the trust and the respect and all 750 00:47:01,860 --> 00:47:06,900 that stuff, but love is such a solid foundation. And I think I 751 00:47:06,900 --> 00:47:10,740 think of the three little pigs building their houses, but and 752 00:47:10,740 --> 00:47:14,580 right, like straw and hay and mud and like brick or whatever, 753 00:47:14,580 --> 00:47:18,480 right? Is that? Right? Yeah. And then the other thing is, I think 754 00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:22,280 it's somewhere it might be in the Bible, I should probably 755 00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:26,840 find I'm pretty sure it is, but it's just, I didn't read it 756 00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,480 specifically in the Bible. But I just know this phrase of like, 757 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:35,180 build your house on rock, and not sand, and fast, fast. Fast 758 00:47:35,180 --> 00:47:37,940 is how we build things, quick sand. You know what I'm saying? 759 00:47:37,940 --> 00:47:43,240 Just suck you right down. Kill you, you know, but you know what 760 00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:47,440 I'm saying metaphorically, build your house on rock, and the 761 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:51,880 first foundation, right, is love. So I hope this was helpful 762 00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,520 in some way. Thank you for listening. I appreciate you so 763 00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,400 much. I hope wherever you are, you're having a fantastic day, 764 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,740 and anything you want to find out about working together, 765 00:48:01,740 --> 00:48:04,440 finding out shenanigans, what I'm up to, whatever. Just go to 766 00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:09,960 Karen Kenney, k e n, n, e y.com. I would love to have you like, 767 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,360 come join the nest if you're interested in that. That's my 768 00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:16,080 monthly membership program, right? It's like group, group, 769 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,780 spiritual mentoring and coaching. It's such a blast that 770 00:48:18,780 --> 00:48:21,920 people are amazing. And there's also one to one spiritual 771 00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:24,680 mentoring in the quest. There's lots of ways to stay connected. 772 00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:28,580 You can just get on my email list. And if you found this, I 773 00:48:28,580 --> 00:48:30,980 haven't mentioned this in a while, but if you listen to the 774 00:48:30,980 --> 00:48:34,460 show regularly, you find it helpful. You find that it gets 775 00:48:34,460 --> 00:48:36,500 you to think, or at least, at the very least, you're 776 00:48:36,620 --> 00:48:41,080 entertained. I have a tip, ja, where you can like, I don't 777 00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,660 know, a little love donation from the hot if that speaks to 778 00:48:43,660 --> 00:48:48,280 you and you just go to Karen kenney.com/tip, ja, one word, 779 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:51,280 all right. Thank you so much. Have a fantastic rest of your 780 00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:55,540 day. And wherever you go, may you leave the people, the place, 781 00:48:55,540 --> 00:49:00,180 the animals, yourself, the environment, better than how you 782 00:49:00,180 --> 00:49:04,380 first find it wherever you go. May you and your presence and 783 00:49:04,380 --> 00:49:09,900 your energy and your love and your relationships be a 784 00:49:09,900 --> 00:49:14,460 blessing. May you be out there trying to build things and 785 00:49:14,460 --> 00:49:19,380 relationships that last. Bye. Hey, thanks so much for 786 00:49:19,380 --> 00:49:22,640 listening to the show. I really love spending some time 787 00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:25,640 together. Now, if you dig the show or know someone that could 788 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:29,480 benefit from this episode, please share it with them and 789 00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:32,900 help me to spread the good word and the love. And if you want to 790 00:49:32,900 --> 00:49:36,680 be in the know about all of my upcoming shenanigans, head on 791 00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:42,580 over to Karen kenney.com/sign up and join my list, it'll be 792 00:49:42,580 --> 00:49:46,060 wicked fun to stay in touch. Bye. You.