You.

You know, being vulnerable is equal to being exposed.

At least in my highly empathic, introverted world it is.

And being exposed is never good, right?

Not to my mind at least.

That's what I told myself for years.

My trauma addled brain couldn't see vulnerability differently until

I began to build a business.

For me, vulnerability felt dangerous, like something I might not come back from.

The act was a risk that didn't feel safe to take.

Do you know what I mean?

However, in business, being vulnerable can be liberating.

When you see it as a strength, not a risk, it frees you

and it will attract your people.

You know, if being vulnerable feels dangerous to you,

that's your inner chimp talking.

I've talked about this before with mind management.

You know, the chimp, the computer and the human.

The three in a very simplistic version, the three aspects of your brain.

The chimp is the part of your brain in charge of survival and it can never

allow you to be vulnerable.

Your chimp cannot be rational, so it you have to calm it and

nurture it to get past it.

Kind of like the card at the gate.

So the next time your inner chimp starts to throw branches and rocks at the harsh

comment you received under your latest video, just imagine

hugging your chimp, right?

And whisper, it's okay, we're safe.

Seriously.

It might sound funny and weird, but give it a try.

It's a proven technique in mind management.

Mind management is a crucial skill to gain when building a business.

Starting a business dredges up fears, doubts and worries that can derail

you and prevent your success.

Going through the motions of marketing and business growth can trigger feelings of

not being good enough, not being worthy, and just plain less than.

On top of all of that, you're supposed to be candid, open about, open up about

yourself and share aspects of your life you may not have ever shared before.

Now, it's not to say that you have to do that, but you know, that's what

we see in social media, isn't it? Right?

Business is the greatest personal development journey you will ever take.

Most likely, the journey can help you experience

vulnerability as liberating, a show of strength and inner power and

a tool for incredible impact.

Vulnerability is your bridge to every person in the world who needs you.

It can be the golden thread that grabs your soon to be clients,

pulling them into your world.

And it can be the thing that makes you stand apart in a sea of competition.

Vulnerability shows that you're real, a real human with a fierce strength to risk

your Heart hurting in front of others.

Human connection will always outperform any marketing strategy ten times over.

Some of history's most beloved leaders knew the power of vulnerability.

They backed it with incredible strength.

Take Eleanor Roosevelt as an example.

She was very open about her insecurities and struggles as the First Lady.

She spoke about this publicly and shared her deepest doubts in her writing.

She wrote candidly about her insecurities around her looks.

And she struggled to fit into society's expectations of her time.

In a 1940 column, she wrote about her struggles with public speaking.

She feared being judged and not meeting others expectations.

Sound familiar?

Sure does to me.

Oh, how little we change.

In publicly expressing her deepest fears and doubts, she became relatable.

Right now I can relate to this woman from a long time ago and

people loved her for it.

If you're vulnerable, you are taking a scary risk.

You're letting people see a part of themselves in you so

they can relate to you.

Then they are no longer alone.

We need more heart centered, relatable leaders in the world.

Those who care enough to expose their truest selves as a breadcrumb

trail for the rest of us to follow.

The more relatable you are, the more people talk about you.

And the more they talk about you, the more visible you and your business become.

I know, I know.

It feels uncomfortable.

And certainly as we age, as we get older, we may feel less confident in our looks.

We doubt whether anyone will want to listen or whether we'll just

become more and more invisible.

If you're an older woman starting a business, don't see

vulnerability as a risk.

Don't fear visibility either.

They are sisters.

Vulnerability and visibility.

If ever there were two forces conditioned by society to be kept apart

and out of the public eye, they would be called vulnerability and visibility.

Like sisters, each holds a unique power that is strengthened through their bond.

Together they have the potential to transform how we show up in the world.

Change how you show up in the world by taking small steps to begin experiencing

vulnerability and visibility as an exercise in freedom.

Especially if you're coming from a long career or have been in

the corporate world.

Freedom to be 100% you.

Freedom to speak from the heart.

Freedom to just be human.

Renee Brown has a well known TED talk called the Power of Vulnerability.

Her very raw and real conversations have inspired millions worldwide.

She points out that vulnerability is the human experience.

It creates meaning and connection.

Let's be honest, a polished facade can feel safe.

Yeah, but we miss the real you.

We can't connect with you because you aren't flawed like me.

And when it comes to you versus your competitor, I'm going to choose the

one I can connect with every time.

So choose. Who will you be?

What power will you tap into?

Which will you lead with fear or fierceness?

Fear is the antithesis of growth or the mind killer.

One of my favorite movies by the way.

It keeps you locked away, small and never truly seen.

Fear whispers that being vulnerable equals being weak and unprofessional.

In truth, it's one of the strongest expressions of leadership

that you can offer.

So ditch the fear.

From this point forward, I want you to see vulnerability as a strategic tool that

builds relate ability and meaning in a connection anemic world.

When you are vulnerable, your clients will be too.

It will lead to a deeper transformation.

When you are vulnerable, you dispel myths of shame.

When you are vulnerable, you open the door for others to experience

the same liberation.

So here are three steps you can take today to build a resonant business through

vulnerability and visibility.

Step 1 Start with self reflection.

Small steps can help reflect on what you're afraid to share.

This can ease you into vulnerability with your people.

Look for women who have openly shared the same fears throughout history.

Journal about past experiences where being vulnerable led to positive outcomes.

I once had a woman share with me whom I was talking to this about.

Actually she we were coaching each other.

It was part of a training program we were in around this very topic

and she asked if she could share a story with me about social media because I was

really resisting being more visible on social media in my mind.

As I said in my trauma addled brain, that was unsafe because why would you share

personal stuff on social media for the world to see, right?

So she shared the story with me about having lost her daughter

when she was very small.

Family took her and she searched and searched and

searched and could not find her.

She did not have the means to find her and she continued to look and always did.

But it wasn't until Facebook was alive and well and

ingrained in all of our lives that a young teenager reached out to her

many years later and it was her daughter.

She was able to find her through Facebook.

That story was so profound to me because it showed a positive outcome with

something that I had equated to something negative and fearful.

STEP 2 Share your story Maya Angelou shared her traumatic experiences

to connect with people.

Her stories and poetry gave rise to a powerful, deeply resonating

voice for civil rights.

She empowered others to find strength in their stories.

Story holds power.

Share yours and know that someone else will hear it and relate.

Your words will comfort them.

They may feel empowered to act and create the change they want.

Use this simple story framework.

The event, so the incident, time or memory.

The fear, the underlying fear that you never told anyone about the pit.

That deep, dark moment right where you were rock bottom.

The rise, the catalyst to keep going.

Change something or not give up the slip.

We all fall back down at different points in time.

And then the victory, the lesson, the success, the positive outcome

and the incredible understanding.

STEP 3. Show up as you are.

Drop the professional hat.

Be real, raw, down to earth.

Have real, raw, down to earth conversations.

Start having conversations meant for the sofa, not the podium.

Show your greatest strength. Vulnerability.

Perfect is never real.

And helping another person requires us to be brave and exposed.

As women in business, we have the power to make the act of

being vulnerable a liberating force.

Bring the two sisters vulnerability and visibility into your business.

Your business will become stronger, more successful and rooted in the real you.

That's the one we're all waiting for.