Speaker:

Welcome to the Peak Revival Podcast.

Speaker:

My name is Vesna Today I'm gonna talk about satisfaction versus fulfillment.

Speaker:

For those who have it all, but still feel unsatisfied.

Speaker:

So for years myself, I found myself working hard to launch things, and

Speaker:

I've always thought as soon as I launch it, things will go back to normal,

Speaker:

go back to a normal speed, you know?

Speaker:

And but the problem was as soon as I finished launching that I would stack

Speaker:

something else and another thing.

Speaker:

And so I never slowed down.

Speaker:

And I had this philosophy, which doesn't work by the way, but I would think that

Speaker:

I would stack all these deadlines, I would everything onto my schedule, and

Speaker:

they all had deadlines, so I was like, well, I have to get them done I'll just

Speaker:

have to work really hard to get them done.

Speaker:

There's not a lot of fun in doing that.

Speaker:

You can get more done, but it creates a lot more stress and probably

Speaker:

not doing your best work either.

Speaker:

That's what I found.

Speaker:

So if you are finding yourself in a similar situation

Speaker:

that you are always saying.

Speaker:

"Just another couple of months,

Speaker:

I'll get over this part,

Speaker:

and then things will slow down for me"

Speaker:

right?

Speaker:

But you find that you are always putting more onto your schedule.

Speaker:

You're always trying to achieve more.

Speaker:

You're always changing the goalposts, right?

Speaker:

And so in business, there are things that you must do, and there are times when

Speaker:

it's very busy and that's legitimate.

Speaker:

But I want you to ask yourself, are you feeling fulfilled in

Speaker:

your business and in your work?

Speaker:

And the things that you do day to day?

Speaker:

Or are you chasing satisfaction?

Speaker:

Now I wanna talk about the distinction between satisfaction and fulfillment.

Speaker:

So satisfaction is when you're feeling satisfied.

Speaker:

So when you tick off something from your to-do list, when you achieve a

Speaker:

goal, when you hit a certain personal best in your business or in your

Speaker:

fitness regime, whatever it is, You feel a sense of satisfaction?

Speaker:

The problem with satisfaction is that it needs constant topping up, right?

Speaker:

So if you've noticed that something that used to satisfy you before something

Speaker:

that you did in your business, no longer has that satisfaction, right?

Speaker:

And so it's like this dopamine addiction, it's a dopamine hit.

Speaker:

We need to keep hitting the dopamine button, but then our

Speaker:

brain becomes desensitized to it.

Speaker:

And so we need.

Speaker:

Bigger achievements, bigger goals in order to get that same hit.

Speaker:

But it's always escaping us.

Speaker:

We never get to that place where we feel truly fulfilled.

Speaker:

so satisfaction, there's no end to it.

Speaker:

It needs constant topping up.

Speaker:

so what you'll find is that you'll have one goal.

Speaker:

As soon as you achieve it, achieve it, you'll move straight

Speaker:

onto the next goal, okay?

Speaker:

Without really celebrating it.

Speaker:

So I've certainly seen this for myself.

Speaker:

I hit a really big milestone in my business, uh, last year, and I remember

Speaker:

having this conversation with my brother and he was like, wow, that's amazing.

Speaker:

I said, yeah, so, and then I talked about all these other issues that I had

Speaker:

to resolve and what I was working on next, and he's like, hold on a second.

Speaker:

Can you just take a moment to be grateful for where you are at and to really

Speaker:

celebrate and appreciate where you're at?

Speaker:

And I was like, Hmm.

Speaker:

Busted because I wasn't right.

Speaker:

I really, I, my mind had already moved on to the next thing.

Speaker:

And so when we caught up in that satisfaction craving

Speaker:

or chasing satisfaction, we are never feeling satisfied.

Speaker:

And it's really exhausting.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

Because we don't realize that fulfillment, which I'll, which I'll talk about.

Speaker:

Is much more nourishing.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

But satisfaction is gonna be much more draining.

Speaker:

Okay?

Speaker:

Because it's, we're always chasing, we're never slowing down the nervous system.

Speaker:

It's, we're always on.

Speaker:

Our brains always ticking over.

Speaker:

We're always looking for the next thing.

Speaker:

And so there's never a gap.

Speaker:

There's never a moment to slow down.

Speaker:

Fulfillment on the other hand, is very different.

Speaker:

It's nourishing, it's energizing.

Speaker:

It has life force in it.

Speaker:

It feeds the soul, and it feels so much better than satisfaction.

Speaker:

And actually, that's what we're chasing

Speaker:

When we're chasing satisfaction,

Speaker:

we're really chasing fulfillment

Speaker:

that when we get that goal, we are going to feel a sense of

Speaker:

inner peace, like contentment.

Speaker:

a feeling of contentment.

Speaker:

It's a really higher state, mentally and emotionally, and we're feeling really

Speaker:

good about ourselves and about our life.

Speaker:

And so I want you to think back to moments when you have felt fulfilled, right?

Speaker:

There'll be moments in your life when you have felt this sense

Speaker:

of really feeling fulfilled.

Speaker:

What did that feel like?

Speaker:

where did it come from?

Speaker:

How did you get it?

Speaker:

So these are really important questions to ask ourselves.

Speaker:

'cause most people think by chasing and achieving more and hitting a new

Speaker:

personal best in whatever area, or having a new car or a new house, a

Speaker:

new holiday or new partner, whatever it is, is going to be fulfilling.

Speaker:

But that's really chasing satisfaction.

Speaker:

And so we are never gonna get to that place that we're

Speaker:

really yearning to get to.

Speaker:

So Fulfillment is a feeling.

Speaker:

It's a higher state of mind, a higher state of consciousness or

Speaker:

a higher state of wellbeing, and

Speaker:

We don't need to get anything from the outside in order to feel fulfilled.

Speaker:

And that's kind of where we go wrong, right?

Speaker:

So we feel like if we get all these achievements, if we get in a better

Speaker:

place financially, we'll feel really good and we'll feel really fulfilled.

Speaker:

Okay?

Speaker:

And then that moment arises and it's like a blip, right?

Speaker:

We don't even notice, we don't really celebrate it, and we don't really feel

Speaker:

fulfilled as we thought that we would.

Speaker:

So fulfillment is a natural state, right?

Speaker:

It's a natural state of our being we're in when we're in a higher

Speaker:

state of consciousness, like I said, a higher state of wellbeing when

Speaker:

we're really in the moment, it's

Speaker:

The gaps in between all the doing

Speaker:

okay.

Speaker:

And that's kind of the best way that I can describe it.

Speaker:

It's not the doing that feels fulfilling.

Speaker:

It's the space in between.

Speaker:

Because it's our natural state when we are always doing and being busy and.

Speaker:

Even being present on a task, because I have confused this myself, like

Speaker:

when I've been super focused and really productive on the day, like

Speaker:

I'm really focused and present.

Speaker:

I'm not talking about focus, and it's a different kind of presence.

Speaker:

It's about really being more connected to yourself and it's the gaps in

Speaker:

between all the busyness that we feel, that contentment and that fulfillment.

Speaker:

So fulfillment is a feeling.

Speaker:

It's not something we get by doing.

Speaker:

When our mind slows down and we're in that space, we elevate our level

Speaker:

of consciousness and we create these feelings of fulfillment.

Speaker:

And in fact, some of the barriers to fulfillment is doing the things that we

Speaker:

do because we are chasing satisfaction.

Speaker:

But what we really want is fulfillment.

Speaker:

Right?

Speaker:

And so some of the biggest barriers to fulfillment is just looking

Speaker:

in the wrong direction, right?

Speaker:

Just looking at.

Speaker:

Achieving more.

Speaker:

Achieving more, and really burning yourself out and wondering

Speaker:

why you never feel like you've arrived, like you never feel.

Speaker:

You're at that place where you feel like, yes, this is, I'm so happy I'm here.

Speaker:

So when you are feeling satisfied after a meal, if the waiter comes around and says,

Speaker:

look, this is what we have for dessert.

Speaker:

You're like, Hmm, yes, I will have that.

Speaker:

Thank you very much.

Speaker:

That looks good.

Speaker:

But when you are fulfilled, you don't want another thing.

Speaker:

Okay?

Speaker:

The waiter comes around with a dessert, you're like, Nope,

Speaker:

I have no desire to eat that.

Speaker:

I feel very content.

Speaker:

And that's kind of the difference.

Speaker:

So if you are feeling like there's always something more that you want,

Speaker:

there's always more, there's more, then you're chasing satisfaction.

Speaker:

You're not chasing fulfillment.

Speaker:

And

Speaker:

That is a road to unhappiness,

Speaker:

burnout,

Speaker:

exhaustion and never getting to that place where, that place between

Speaker:

the moments, the place and the gaps, where we get the best stuff.

Speaker:

We get fulfillment, we get peace and contentment.

Speaker:

We get our best ideas.

Speaker:

We just, Get into a higher state of wellbeing in those places.

Speaker:

But if we're always doing and we're stacking, like I used to do stacking

Speaker:

tasks and deadlines, we are never gonna create the moments for that.

Speaker:

So like I said, the biggest barriers to fulfillment is not looking in

Speaker:

that direction, looking in the direction of satisfaction, like

Speaker:

constantly striving to achieve more, to be more recognized, to have more

Speaker:

accolades, to accumulate more, right?

Speaker:

If we don't understand

Speaker:

that fulfillment doesn't come

Speaker:

from those things,

Speaker:

then we are going to keep stuck

Speaker:

on that hamster wheel.

Speaker:

And really what I've seen is that when you are disconnected from yourself,

Speaker:

so if you're being very busy, and I've certainly been like this, that you

Speaker:

kind of get lost in all the busyness.

Speaker:

You get lost in particularly in business, there are challenges that

Speaker:

arise that you really need to be all in, and it takes so much of

Speaker:

your head space and your focus that.

Speaker:

Doesn't create a lot of space in your mind and in your life.

Speaker:

And then we end up really kind of, if we get stuck on this, we

Speaker:

feel very disconnected from our true nature, from ourselves.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

And in episode 52 of the podcast I talked about how it's so important to have

Speaker:

this time to connect with yourself.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

And.

Speaker:

The gifts that we get from it.

Speaker:

Okay?

Speaker:

Because un, if we are not slowing down and spending time doing nothing,

Speaker:

and I'm not saying a long time, it could be 10 minutes, but if we're not

Speaker:

getting those moments, those gaps, we're losing connection to ourselves.

Speaker:

We're losing connection to these deeper feelings that are very

Speaker:

nourishing and they're very sustaining.

Speaker:

They're rejuvenating.

Speaker:

They will sustain your success.

Speaker:

They will be like a shot of vitality serum.

Speaker:

Okay?

Speaker:

And if we're not creating.

Speaker:

Moments for that, we're just gonna miss out.

Speaker:

So the reason why, chasing fulfillment or looking in the direction of fulfillment,

Speaker:

I'm not saying don't reach your goals and your achievements and all of that,

Speaker:

of course you're going to do that.

Speaker:

Nothing I say will make you stop that.

Speaker:

But look in the direction of fulfillment as well.

Speaker:

Okay, because it's important for your health.

Speaker:

It gets you outta that fight or flight response.

Speaker:

It gets you out of the system being in that overactive response and gets

Speaker:

you back into homeostasis in the body.

Speaker:

So balancing your hormones, balancing your metabolism, it's important

Speaker:

for your happiness, and it's important to sustain your success.

Speaker:

I don't see anyone who is

Speaker:

burning themselves out,

Speaker:

who is happy and able

Speaker:

to sustain that level.

Speaker:

They all come and they're like, I went out of my business.

Speaker:

I went out of what I'm doing.

Speaker:

Okay?

Speaker:

so it's really important to look at all these factors in sustaining your success.