1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,240 Hello, listeners. 2 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:10,640 Today is June 11th, 2025. 3 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:13,480 Today is a full moon, and it's the strawberry moon. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:22,200 We welcome you today to Social Skills Coaching, your guide to becoming more likable, more charismatic, and more productive. 5 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:34,320 Today's featured book is The Science of Getting Started, How to Beat Procrastination, Summon Productivity, and Stop Self-Sabotage, written by Patrick King. 6 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:44,240 Now, if you're a frequent listener to the podcast, you know, especially in our guest interviews, that just the concept of getting started is one of the biggest steps to getting things done. 7 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,760 That's what this entire book is about. 8 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:51,560 Today's episode is an excerpt from the book, The Introduction and the Beginning of Chapter 1. 9 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:54,520 The title for Chapter 1 is an eye-catcher. 10 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,560 Why are you a couch potato? 11 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:02,640 So we delve into the concept of what makes us want to procrastinate. 12 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:06,200 Now, procrastination is an age-old companion to humanity. 13 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:11,440 Its roots are deeply embedded in our language and our culture. 14 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:19,640 The word comes from the Latin, and it sheds a light on its essence, delaying for tomorrow what could be done today. 15 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:27,720 In this episode, we look specifically at the mysteries of procrastination's origins and its presence in our daily lives. 16 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:35,920 We're going to explore the typical triggers that set off what author Patrick King calls the procrastination cycle. 17 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:42,800 Now, there are five things when we have a task to do that might cause us to start this cycle of procrastination. 18 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:58,560 Those five things that we'll be looking at in detail today are unhelpful assumptions, growing discomfort, excuse-making rituals, avoidance behaviors, and their undesirable consequences. 19 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:09,560 And by understanding these elements, we aim to equip you with insights to navigate this common yet complex human tendency towards delay. 20 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,640 So that's what we're headed for in this episode. 21 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:32,800 If you want to get a quick summary, skip to the end, check the show notes for the time code, and we'll summarize these points again at the end of the episode, just to make sure you have all the highlights that you need. 22 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:37,040 So with that, let's get into it. 23 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,920 You've met procrastination before. 24 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:51,080 It needs no introduction, especially when you've known it all your life. 25 00:02:51,080 --> 00:03:23,320 Since the moment you were old enough to recognize that you actually have the option to build a Lego castle rather than sit down to do your math homework, procrastination has been there in the background as the devil on your shoulder, encouraging you to do what is worst for you. 26 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,160 It's like your shadow. 27 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,080 You just can't shake it. 28 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:37,520 It's always with you, and it's easy to forget about. 29 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:45,880 But unlike your shadow, it's dead set on ruining your life. 30 00:03:45,880 --> 00:04:15,880 Now you're stuck with it and are having problems because it's starting to control you, like one of those relationships that started out fun and exciting, but gradually morphed into something that just caused you unhappiness. 31 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:23,600 You know the ones I'm talking about. 32 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:34,800 So you want to break up with it to get your life back on track, but you don't know how. 33 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:55,960 The answer, in finally regaining control from the demoralizing domination of procrastination, starts with understanding what you're dealing with 34 00:04:55,960 --> 00:05:11,160 and how you continually get tricked into handing over the reins to it over and over again. 35 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:27,800 The term procrastination was derived from the Latin pro, meaning forward, forth, or in favor of, and crastinous, meaning of tomorrow. 36 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:49,080 Its literal translation can thus be taken to be the moving forward of something to tomorrow or favoring tomorrow as the ideal time. 37 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,960 Action is never for today. 38 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:59,200 It's always another moment to be dealt with later. 39 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:12,280 For our purposes, procrastination is the act or habit of putting off something to a future time. 40 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:31,120 It involves delaying what needs to be done until the last moment, often to the end point of not doing it at all. 41 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:44,800 It involves a certain amount of self-sabotage and ignorance of any future consequences. 42 00:06:44,800 --> 00:07:00,040 It causes undue stress and anxiety, often at the pursuit of short-term gratification. 43 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:06,240 It is responsible for an untold number of lost opportunities. 44 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:22,600 However, it's a mistake to assume that procrastination occurs simply because there is boredom or discomfort. 45 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:30,160 They are parts of the problem, but in reality, much more goes into our lack of action. 46 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:39,320 Just tackling an alleged lack of motivation and interest in something you need to do only shallowly addresses procrastination. 47 00:07:39,320 --> 00:08:02,520 For instance, the thought of having to write out a 20,000-word research paper will certainly cause feelings of boredom and discomfort, so you may delay working on the task for as long as you can. 48 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:10,480 A movie sounds more fun, stimulating, and comfortable. 49 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:35,600 The next thing you know, you've put off writing the paper until it's just a day before the deadline, which wasn't exactly a rational move given the sheer size of work involved. 50 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:51,600 You feel guilt and shame about letting things get that far, but you still didn't sit at your computer to start typing. 51 00:08:51,600 --> 00:09:02,000 You miss your deadline, lose your job, and your cat runs away from home. 52 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:19,360 Suppose the 20,000-word research paper was on a topic that you found stimulating and fun and comfortable. 53 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:28,320 Are you so sure that you would wake up eagerly each morning, ready to start typing and editing? 54 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:38,320 It might help, but it's still an unpleasant activity that you would rather substitute with fun. 55 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:51,560 Also, consider how many things you currently avoid even though they are relatively fun and comfortable. 56 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:55,520 They are too numerous to name. 57 00:09:55,520 --> 00:10:07,760 This means there's something deeper going on here that gets you glued to your couch, physically or figuratively. 58 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:19,760 In fact, there's a cycle that researchers have articulated, and this is the first of the reasons in this chapter that you're a couch potato. 59 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:25,000 The Procrastination Cycle. 60 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:50,920 In some ways, the existence of a cycle is a relief because it means that beating procrastination isn't so much about reaching deep inside yourself 61 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:57,000 and relying on your guts to get the job done, although sometimes that part cannot be avoided. 62 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:03,600 It's actually about understanding the cycle of laziness and disrupting it before you get sucked into it. 63 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:08,560 It's the equivalent of understanding how to use a certain physics equation to solve a problem 64 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:16,040 versus trying to solve the problem differently each time and sometimes just trying out 20 different possibilities. 65 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:20,520 When you know what you're looking for, you're just going to be far more effective. 66 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:27,280 In practical terms, this means that doing what you need to do will be much less of a struggle in the end. 67 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:35,160 There are five main phases of the cycle that explain why you tend to keep sitting on your butt even though you know you shouldn't be. 68 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:43,840 It further explains how you justify sitting on your butt and even how you'll probably sit on your butt even more decisively the next time. 69 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:47,480 We can follow along with an example of washing a car. 70 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:54,800 You'll soon see how simplistic attributing procrastination to boredom or laziness is. 71 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,000 1. 72 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,520 Unhelpful assumptions or made-up rules. 73 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:05,040 Life is short, so I should enjoy it and not spend my precious time washing that dusty car. 74 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,640 Car washes are something you pay for anyway. 75 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,520 2. 76 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,760 Increasing discomfort. 77 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,120 I'd rather not wash the car. 78 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,040 It's boring and uncomfortable. 79 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:20,080 I know my spouse asked me to, but it came late. 80 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:21,120 3. 81 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:26,520 Excuses for procrastination to decrease psychological discomfort. 82 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,760 It's perfectly reasonable for me not to wash the car. 83 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:32,160 It's so hot outside I would melt. 84 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:36,560 My spouse didn't really mean it when they asked. 85 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:36,880 4. 86 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:41,280 Avoidance activities to decrease psychological discomfort. 87 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:44,440 I'll clean the bathroom instead. 88 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:45,400 I'm still productive. 89 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,040 I'll also arrange my desk. 90 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,280 Lots of things getting done today. 91 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,520 I did pretty well today, all things considered. 92 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,520 5. 93 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,280 Negative and positive consequences. 94 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,000 Ah, I feel better about myself now. 95 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,360 Cleanliness all around. 96 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:03,760 Oh, wait. 97 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:08,960 I still need to wash that car, and my spouse seems angrier this time. 98 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,120 Which brings us full circle. 99 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:22,520 The car isn't washed, and your assumptions remain the same, if not reinforced, only this time there's even more discomfort than you want to avoid immediately, and so it goes on. 100 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:28,760 Once you're in the cycle, it's hard to get over the increasing inertia keeping you from getting the task done. 101 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:33,200 Let's take a look at each of these phases individually. 102 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,520 We'll start right from the top. 103 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:40,440 This is where you're either failing to start a task or to complete a task already underway. 104 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:44,320 You know you should be doing these things, and they are in your best interests. 105 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:49,880 However, you've already made the decision against self-discipline, so what goes through your mind? 106 00:13:49,880 --> 00:14:00,320 So, as we said, procrastination has been around far longer than just you or me. 107 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:07,000 It comes from the Latin pro, meaning forward or forth or in favor of, and crastinus, meaning of tomorrow. 108 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,960 So, putting off till tomorrow. 109 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:16,920 In everyday terms, it's when you put off something unpleasant, usually in pursuit of something more pleasurable or more enjoyable. 110 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:26,480 In this first chapter, we discussed the typical causes of procrastination and introduced five reasons why we start the procrastination cycle. 111 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:35,880 Unhelpful or false assumptions, increasing discomfort, excuse-making, avoidance activities, and the consequences. 112 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,640 And there you have it, folks. 113 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:42,600 Procrastination is a common human struggle that's been with us since the beginning of time. 114 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:50,080 Understanding its roots and the cycle it follows can be our first step towards breaking free from its grasp. 115 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,440 So, no more cotch potato. 116 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:57,480 Let's embrace this mindset and take control of our lives one task at a time. 117 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:08,840 This familiar quote has been attributed to Mark Twain, Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.