Welcome to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I'm your host, Blakely Ramsey, and the goal of this podcast is to discuss all things personal development, wellness, and the art of editing your life in an elevated way.

From mastering morning routines to mastering your mindset, we're going to sift through the noise and empower you to take elevated action.

Make sure you catch the show notes for all the details.

Enjoy the show.

Hello, and welcome back to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I am chomping at the bits to record this episode today because I am so fired up over this book that I read over the weekend.

I read a lot.

Like, I would say it's one of my favorite hobbies.

And some books I really like.

Like, I'll get a ton of information out of them.

Some books I'm like, oh, that was great.

And then other books blow my freaking mind.

They rearrange all the furniture in my brain, as one of my coaches says, and they just push me to think about my life and my relationships and the world around me in a different way.

And the book that I read this weekend did just that.

So a little backstory.

I have been accused in the past of being someone who has multiple personalities because people will see me in different settings and they'll accuse me of being fake.

And, you know, I used to, like, feel guilty about it because I was like, well, yeah, you know, I do have work Blakely, and then I have friend Blakely, and then I have close friend Blakely, and then I've got, like, extra close friend Blakely, and then I've got wife Blakely.

And so there's.

There are a lot of different versions of me.

And I feel like my whole life, I've just kind of accepted that I was fake.

But after reading this book, I was like, oh, my gosh, that is what I've been doing.

And I didn't even realize it.

Like, I wasn't able to put a name on it.

And so the book that I read is the Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman.

And when I tell you this book blew my mind, it truly blew my mind.

So I found the book.

One of my coaches has a podcast, and she was talking to.

It was actually like, an offhanded podcast episode.

Her and one of her friends were just kind of talking, and she mentioned this book, and her friend was like, oh, I've never heard that book before.

And she was like, wait, you've never read the Alter Ego Effect?

And the other girl was like, no.

And, I mean, she was stunned.

Like, she basically.

It was like she was Saying that she'd Never read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Like, or Atomic Habits or whatever it is.

Like, she was just like, mind blown.

And I was like, well, I've got to read that book asap, like, if it's that important.

And, whoa, now I see why she went.

You never read the Alter Ego Effect because it is so good.

And it rewired my brain to just allow me to realize that.

Like, okay, yeah, you can look at it as being fake, or you can look at it as showing up as your best self in certain situations.

So the core ideas of the book are.

Or is that an alter ego is a purposeful, empowered identity that you choose to embody during specific activities or roles.

And throughout the book, he emphasizes that alter egos aren't fake.

They help you access different aspects of your personality intentionally.

And y'all know I love intentionality.

I think that being intentional collapses time, and it saves energy and effort.

And so, you know, I was, like, all into this book because I'm like, oh, my gosh, this can condense so many things and allow people to show up so intentionally.

And it was really cool.

So he starts the book off.

He's a speaker.

And so he talks about how he always kind of opened some of his speeches with asking people, is Superman the alter ego or is Clark Kent the alter alter ego?

And he says that 90% of people are like Superman, obviously, like Superman's alter ego.

Clark Kent's the real version.

And then this.

He steps into the alter ego of Superman, but he's like, actually.

And this is.

I mean, literally, he blew my mind.

Like, the first chapter, he was like, actually, Clark Kent is the alter ego, and Superman is the truest version of himself.

Like, when he is Superman, he is, like, standing in his full power.

He is being, like, his true, fullest identity.

And then he becomes Clark Kent so that he can be in relationships with people and he can, you know, like, literally function day to day.

And I was like, oh, whoa, that is so good.

And when you think of it like that, it shows that alter egos can really be essential for navigating different contexts and different responsibilities.

And he goes into talking about why alter egos actually are essential.

And he says that alter egos help manage expectations and energy.

Y'all know I'm all about maintaining energy around here.

You naturally bring different energies to different situations.

And the way I think of this is, like, the energy that I bring when I'm spending time with my husband.

I'm not going to bring to a coaching client.

Like, if I was the same person in both situations, one of them would be unhappy.

My husband would be like, you know, why?

Why are you giving me all this tough love?

Like, I just want to be cuddled.

And then my coaching client would be like, why am I paying you for you to tell me that I'm wonderful?

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I literally have to be different versions of myself depending on the context of what is needed for me.

And, you know, this is.

Has always been a struggle for me because I do think I do have such an intense personality, and I kind of have a very aggressive personality.

And when it comes to work or, like, showing up for a task or a job, I am all in.

Like, I am laser focused.

I'm not playing around.

It's not time for jokes.

Like, I want to get in, get the job done, and then I want to go have fun.

Like, I do not really like to mix the two.

Yes, I like to enjoy work once the foundation has been laid, but, like, especially if we're, like, trying to get a project off the ground or if I have, like, a super specific goal in mind, like, I am blinders on laser focused.

Don't talk to me.

Don't look at me.

Like, I am trying to get this done.

And so I've.

I've dealt with that a lot in my life where people will meet me in one of the two situations.

Like, they'll meet me.

You know, they'll meet Tequila Blakely, and she's a fun time.

And they're like, wow, this girl's party girl.

And, you know, she's singing karaoke, and she's standing on top of the bar, and, like, she's having a blast.

Like, cool.

We really like her.

And then they'll meet me in work mode, and they're like, oh, hold on.

Like, why are you being so formal?

Why are you standing up so straight?

Like, why are you talking like that?

And I'm like, it's not that I'm.

It's not that I'm being fake.

I just, like, when it's time to work, like, I'm.

I'm gonna work, and when it's time to play, I'm gonna play.

And so I loved this book because I have never been able to put a name on it or even really been, like, super aware that I'm doing it.

Like, it's just something that I kind of, like, jump into.

And so now I can be super intentional when I show up as, you know, my alter ego, depending on what the situation is.

And something else that he really pointed out that I was like, oh, that is so good.

And I've never, ever thought about it that way.

But an alter ego can provide psychological safety and boost confidence by creating a boundary between your true self and the demands of specific roles.

So I've got to thinking about this, and I was like, you know, sometimes people will make comments about the podcast or, like, something else that I'm doing, and I probably did this to other people, too.

So I'm not, like, pointing my finger and being like, you're in the wrong.

But they'll just, like, make an offhanding comment, making fun of the podcast, and, you know, I'll laugh it off.

But, like, I'll.

Then I'll go home.

I'm like, man, that really bothered me.

Like, is that what people are sitting around talking about?

You know?

And I don't know.

I'll get all in my head about it.

And if I had an alter ego that was like, okay, this is the girl that shows up on the podcast.

And then if somebody said something about it, I could be like, okay, well, they're talking about podcast, podcast lately.

Like, they're not talking about me, they're talking about her.

And so I loved that thought.

Now it's still something I'm gonna have to wrap my head around.

That one's still a little difficult for me because I'm like, podcast, Blakely and me are the same.

But I just love that because that really can, like, help you show up in situations maybe a little bit bolder or a little bit calmer or a little bit louder or, like, a little bit more subdued or whatever it is that you need to show up in that area.

Having an alter ego for that space, I think he calls it field of action, is, like, so powerful because it can, like, kind of put an armor up for you and be like, you know what?

They are talking about that version.

They're not talking about me.

Like, I don't have to take it personally.

I can just put that out of my head and just, you know, laugh along with them.

And so I loved that.

And then the last thing that he really talks about when it comes to alter egos is that alter egos can help combat imposter syndrome by clearly defining roles that require different strengths, abilities, or energies.

And I think, especially if you've got, you know, kids and you've got a job that requires different versions of you.

So maybe you have to give up and, like, get up and give presentations, and then you have to you know, do financials.

And then you have to, you know, especially if you're like, in an office manager position, I feel like, or any kind of administrative position or heck, even like C suite levels.

Like, you've got a lot of different roles and you've got to show up in a lot of different ways.

And I think having an alter ego for, like, okay, this is how I show up on phone calls with third party vendors.

This is how I show up on phone calls with clients.

This is how I show up on phone calls with, you know, whatever.

Or, like, this is how I show up when I give presentations.

Or this is how I show up when someone comes to my office and, you know, they're breaking down because, you know, their boyfriend just broke up with them or whatever.

It is like all the different spaces in our lives that we have to show up in.

I really love that, that clearly defining the role can help you create an alter ego that has the traits and the qualities that you need to show up in that moment and then you don't have to be that person all the time.

Like, I don't always want to be the person that is, like, high energy and super excited and ready to go and, like, let's crush our goals.

Like, sometimes I just want to be, like, literally like a sloth.

Like, I want to get under a blanket with my heating pad with a book, and I want to lay, like, the most comfortable way possible.

And I just want somebody to bring me food.

Like, I don't even want to get out of bed.

So, like, you know, I've got to bring two different versions of myself to those two different spaces.

And so I love, I love, love, love this concept of having an alter ego.

So y'all know I'm all about action steps.

So let's go into some of ways that you can embrace your alter ego.

And for me, I think that, like, even the concept of it being an alter ego and like, being able to put a word to it and being able to vocalize it and say, like, okay, I can create an alter ego for this.

I can create an alter ego for that.

Like, just that was mind blowing to me.

But.

But when he went into, like, the real action steps, I was like, oh, this is so good.

So five steps and we're going to go through them.

Number one, choose a specific area of life.

So decide where you need your alter ego to show up the most.

Professional meetings, sales calls, content, creation, parenting, whatever it is.

And he says that you can create multiple alter egos.

But to begin, just do one.

And so I actually created one.

I'm not going to tell you what her name is or what her qualities and traits are, but I did create one for a very specific portion of my business, and I am excited to see her show up and go to work.

It's so weird.

It's honestly really weird to talk about, but it's such a good book, and it, like, telling you, my brain is just spinning like crazy over here.

Okay, number two, identify traits clearly.

So outline three to five traits that your alter ego embodies.

And this could be confidence, boldness, clarity, calmness, authority.

Like, whatever you need to show up as in that space.

Like, outline those traits.

Number three, pick a symbol.

Choose something tangible, like a pair of glasses or a piece of jewelry or even, like, a notebook to physically trigger.

Stepping into this Persona.

It is so crazy.

I have a piece of jewelry.

I bought it, and I.

I bought it because I had wanted it, wanted it, wanted it, and I've loved it, and I've never once worn it, ever.

I've never worn it.

I've had it for two years now.

And the minute that I finished the book, I was like, what is going to be my symbol?

And I was like, oh, my goodness, that piece of jewelry.

And so I, like, went and got it out of my jewelry drawer, and I put it on my trinket tray that Kaylee bought me, and I'm going to start wearing it when I need to show up with those traits and with those qualities.

I just thought it was so cool, so coincidental.

Okay, number four, name your alter ego.

Give it a name that resonates and separates your everyday identity from your highest self.

So Beyonce, Sasha Fierce.

Kobe Bryant.

Black Mamba.

Trying to think of another one.

Oprah was in the book, and I think that she embodied Maya Angelou in certain situations.

So just to kind of get your wheels turning, there were a lot of.

So the author, he works with pro athletes, and so there were a ton of examples of pro athletes.

And y'all know I don't really do sports, so a lot of that kind of went over my head a little bit.

But y'all better believe I knew Beyonce.

I was like, oh, Sasha Fierce.

I know that one.

And then, of course, Kobe Bryant, too, because black mama is pretty popular.

But just kind of think about something like that as far as, like, embodying, like, a name or a character or, you know, whatever it is, you're someone from your past, someone that he worked with.

An example in the book was he sat down with the CEO and he was like, well, you know, tell me about your past and, like, tell me, like, why you're here and what drives you.

And anyway, they got to the core of it, and it was his grandma.

Oh, I'm going to cry.

It was his grandma.

That was his alter ego.

And so when he needed to be in a situation where he was bold and, like, really strong because her husband had died in the war, and then her kids had got taken away from her, and she found them all and she brought them to New York and she didn't have any money.

I mean, it was a whole emotional story.

I was so invested.

But anyway, just think about that, like, he literally embodied his grandma when he needed that little bit of confidence or that little bit of boost of, like, I'm strong.

I can do this.

And so think about that when you are thinking about your alter ego.

I wish I could tell you my alter ego, but I want to keep it private because I like to keep things like that, you know, like, in a bubble for myself.

But, oh, it is so good.

Maybe one day I will.

And then number five, practice consistently, regularly visualize and actively step into your alter ego to build confidence and familiarity.

So one of the examples from the book, he says, is to go into a coffee shop and buy a cup of coffee as your alter ego and, like, see how people react to you and see how, like, if your interactions are different than they normally would be.

So I think I'm going to try that out next week.

And, of course, y'all know I'm going to go to four points and get my brown sugar cinnamon cortado, because it's really the only coffee that I like these days.

And I'm gonna see if I can pull off my alter ego.

But I love those steps because this is something that I feel like all of us naturally do already.

And so it's not like a checklist I've got to keep up with or something else I've got to add on.

I feel like, at least for me, it's something I'm already doing.

But instead of just doing it sporadically and out in the wild and just randomly, I can be very intentional about it, and, like, I can step into that alter ego and go, okay, I'm focused.

Like, I am embodying those traits that I need to have in order to show up as my best self in this situation.

I just love it, this book.

I'm telling y'all, I was, like, so invested in it.

Will was trying to talk to me at one point, and I Didn't even look up.

Like, I was reading it on my iPad, and I was just like a psycho just reading it because it's so, so good.

So well written.

He's an entertaining writer.

The.

The flow was great.

It wasn't overwhelming.

It took me about.

Took me about four hours to read it.

Well, four hours of read time now I had to stop and journal and take notes and put things in ChatGPT and Journal and take some more notes and then get back to the book.

So that's why it took me, you know, a little bit longer than four hours.

But I'd say four hours of read time if you just sit down and read it all the way through.

And it was just phenomenal.

And I loved it because it took a weight off of my shoulders to where, like, yeah, sometimes I am, like, I'm in salesgirl mode, or, like, sometimes I'm in wife mode, or sometimes I'm in Aunt Blakely mode, or sometimes I am in, like, coaching mode.

And, yeah, different versions of the are going to show up in all those situations.

And I just love that he at least introduced the thought of, like, that doesn't necessarily have to be defined as being fake.

It can just be you using your alter ego that you need to have to show up in that space face.

And I really loved that.

And so I encourage you to embrace your alter ego, to elevate your performance and show up as your best self in whatever situation that you need.

And I plan on crafting a couple of different alter egos.

I, of course, want my wife alter ego to be very loving and kind and to be just very full of gratitude and generosity.

And then I want my Aunt Blakely alter ego to be cuddly and fun, and she never says no.

And then I want my business negotiation alter ego to be the girl that says no to everything.

And she's very, like, intense and determined and focused and driven and a little, you know, like, in her masculine energy.

And then, like.

Like, I want to have, like, all of the.

The versions of me that need to show up.

Like, I want to have a little.

Just a little something in the back of my brain to be like, okay, I'm gonna show up as my best self in that situation.

Of course I want to be black Mamba all the time.

Who doesn't want to embody Kobe Bryant because he is truly.

I mean, when you get into this space of personal development, I read very few books where Kobe Bryant does not show up in them.

Like, that's when, you know, like, Kobe Bryant Steve Jobs, Oprah.

They show up in almost every book that I read.

And I just.

I think that really says a lot about their impact, that I read so many different books all across the board and they're written by authors that think very differently, and they all bring up those three people continuously.

And so I aspire to be someone like that, that people all across the board really look up to.

But okay, I hope you got some value out of that.

I hope this was exciting to you as it was to me.

I don't know.

I'm over here, like, pumped about this.

Like, this is so good.

I'm going to link the book in the Show Notes.

This is one of those books.

I would highly recommend you buy a physical copy.

I listened to it or read it on my Kindle and I wish I'd bought a physical copy.

Might actually buy a physical copy so I can read it again because I would have loved to have taken notes all throughout this book.

I highlighted.

I don't think I've highlighted a book on my Kindle as much as I have this one.

I don't think ever.

Key person of influence was one book that I highlighted the heck out of.

But this one, I think, beat it.

Like, I was like, I'm literally like you.

You can flip back and there's multiple pages where the whole page is highlighted.

I'm like, oh, that defeats the purpose of highlighting, but I'll link it in the Show Notes.

Highly recommend you get a physical copy and then just devour it and you finish DM me on Instagram and let me know your thoughts.

I really think that you will enjoy it as much as I did.

But with that, I hope you enjoyed the episode and that you have a great rest of your day and I'll see you in the next one.

Thank you for tuning in to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I hope you found today's episode inspiring and full of actionable tips.

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