00:00 SPEAKER_00 Hey and welcome back to another episode of the More Than Mom Podcast. This is your host, Samantha Cooke. And guys, today what I'm bringing you is talking about winning in the and. And what that means is you can be a business owner and a really great mom. You can be a working mom and a really great spouse. You can do the things in the and that are going to propel you forward, but instead of it being an either or situation. So for me right now is like I am building a business while I am building my children. And so what we have to look at here is how to make these ands work. Because let's be honest, the work-life balance, you know, quote unquote, is not something that we're going to ever maintain. There's no perfect balance. There's no perfect case scenario where your kids and your business are problem free totally at the same time. And that's okay. That's one of the biggest parts that we want to focus on is just maintaining that and because we're moving further when we invite the and into our lives versus saying right now I've got to be a mom or a business owner. Or I already have kids so that's just not something for me yet. Or maybe you are still in your nine to five and you're wanting to open your own business so you can get to be home more. It's like you can't be stuck in well I've either got to do this and quit my job and go on in on this or you know keep my job and not move into what I actually want to do. So how do we do that? Well you can do it by a number of things. Making the quality time we have with our children more intentional. So when it is not one of my work from home days, so Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, my daughter has dance on Tuesday so there's just pretty much no business getting done on Tuesday because I'm at the office until three o'clock and then I get home and we got to go to dance and get them up at five to be there at six. And so that day is just reserved for time with the kids doing their extracurriculars that kind of stuff spending some time with them. Because we get home in the evening, get the dance stuff off, go outside, enjoy that time with them until it gets dark and then we come inside maybe have a snack something like that. So I do try to be very intentional with those days when they first get up from their naps I really try to diligently work while they're napping so that way I can stop when they get up focus on them for a little bit and keep those days available for them. Especially like Wednesday mornings I go in a little later so Wednesday mornings are for that intentional time with them that's when I get to play with them. You know when they're just freshly awake and spend that glorious part of the day where they're really excited to be up and moving around. That's a good time for them but then on Thursdays you know like my focus is work. It's being diligent during nap time that's where I do the time to take care of myself, be reading, whatever that is for me is Thursdays are my days to take care of myself. My husband's home in the morning so if I need to work I can do those things but then when it comes nap time it's like all right get your shower get your work done. These things are possible for us and we're possible to be a business owner too. It's like hey these are my days when I'm working with my virtual assistants these are my days that I don't do any work so don't expect an answer from me on these days but they know that any of the other days I'm available for an email, a voice text, whatever it is within a certain realm of you know time because I do have boundaries and that is a huge important part to being successful at this is you have to have boundaries within yourself, within your family time within your work life because when it's time for me to work like I've got to have that boundary of it is time to work unless it is an emergency you know don't interrupt my work time so that way I can focus on getting things taken care of so I can be more intentional with my kids when it's not work time but you really just you can do so much more than doing one or the other is like even when you do have that business and you have that time it's like well do I want to generate leads or do I want to make a reel well do both figure out how to make time for both of those things because here's the deal is yes you can generate leads but if you're not actually working on your client work then you're not getting any work actually done so you need to schedule a time for those so maybe 30 minutes is scheduled to lead generation and you know an hour is scheduled for client work things like that limiting yourself to just doing one thing is not going to move the needle forward so in my world I wear a lot of hats but what I do try to maintain is okay this is time for this this is time for that and I've got to get these are the top three things that are most important for me to get through my day as effectively as possible so yeah I do set aside time to record my podcast so I can share with you guys but what we have to realize within ourselves is I can record this podcast and I can finish up this website I'm working on because let's be honest with ourselves is it's not an all or nothing even if the kids sit down and watch a couple episodes of something while I'm finishing up a project like to me they see one that mom is working and that is okay for us to be entertained by ourselves for a little bit while she gets that done because I've already set that standard with them that like if they get up from early from their naps like hey I'm going to come and sit in the living room with you but I've got to work on this so you need to you know drink your smoothie you need to watch this show or get out some toys or whatever it is so that way I can finish that boundary of time because you even have to have some boundaries with your children a lot of times especially when we first become moms is we think that we have to give up every inch of our lives all the time or we're a bad mom I mean I believed that I really thought so you know you're breastfeeding so you don't have your body to yourself you are wanting to get back into the workforce whatever that looks like for you but let me be honest with you is you are not a bad mom by providing and this to me is a form of like taking care of myself this gives me an opportunity to be creative it puts me in a better head space it makes me excited for whoever's going to listen to this and be encouraged by this because I want them to know that they are worth my time they are definitely who I'm trying to reach talk to so that way they can feel like hey I am doing all the things and you're still a great mom like I don't neglect my kids even if I give them a snack and let them watch the new episodes of Gabby's Dollhouse like that doesn't make me a bad mom to sit there and work on a website while they're doing something they enjoy too when it becomes your entire life because like I said the and is important when you start to put your entire job or your children then that's a whole different conversation is like we can still be great mom engaging with our kids interacting in that quality time because it's not always the amount of time with we we spend with our children but the quality of our time and so with that just know that like winning in that and means that you're setting good boundaries for yourself you are utilizing people where you need to delegate and take care of the things that you need to do as well as taking care of yourself too you know whether that's a creative outlet like this is for me whether it's starting that new business so you can be home more often realize you can do those things in the and you will find that balance of what makes it work for you and your family but just realize that when you put effective boundaries in place like hey it's after nine o'clock I'm not dealing with this this can wait till tomorrow then do those things because you can have a boundary be like hey I'm done for today and I'm putting my kids to bed or and I'm taking care of myself so I'm nice and refreshed and ready to go in the morning when I need to deal with that so just realize like you are doing so much more winning in the and than you are trying to be well maybe I'll do this or I'll do this because you know what happens when you pick you're gonna spend this much time on doing one thing you're gonna fill that space completely with that one task but if you're like hey in this amount of time I gotta get my top three things done you're gonna get those top three things done because you've told your mind I've gotta get these three things done in this amount of time so I can be the most effective because what your tasks will do is fill the time that you give it so if I give myself an hour and a half to report record a podcast finish a website and get something done for my kids I'm gonna make that time that hour and a half be the most effective hour and a half I can and I'm taking care of myself I'm taking care of my family and I'm taking care of my business so see you can do all three of those things if we put aside this narrative that I've got to be all in on my business every second of every day no you don't you can make your business work and delegate off where you can to make these things happen I am not the queen of everything I'm very good at websites but I am not very good at everything it takes to get somebody on boarded so you know what I delegated that off was it gonna take more of my time at the hourly rate that I wanted to make that happen yeah it was so it was worth paying to take care of those things then I don't have to worry about that so now I'm not spending more of my time focused on that so I have delegated and I am out here you know taking care of what I'm really good at so moms be encouraged please know that if you feel overwhelmed don't hesitate to reach out on Instagram send me a DM anything like that I'm more than well like welcome to help you walk through what that looks like that's something we have coming up soon and I'm gonna talk about more on the podcast as we get this stage into play is actually you know how to get you guys connected with me so we can get more of those how am I doing life how am I doing as a spouse how am I doing as a mom and how am I doing as a business owner and making those things work for you and digging deep and connecting with you guys so that way you can you know utilize your best potential because a lot of times we're just not aware of the things because we're in the middle of it sometimes we need that outside perspective that help so we can see oh this is what I need to work on next if anything in the last year you know I have had to work on a lot of parts of healing within myself and it's been more of an and situation and sorry that was funny but when I've been working on the and is like I can work on my physical health and I've been working on my mental health not only have I been working on new goals but I'm also working on taking care of generational sins and things like that so I can start to manage those things so while I'm building I'm creating more space by getting I don't want to say rid per se of those things but letting them go so they don't carry so much baggage into my life and into my children's lives as well so that way I can do the things that I'm getting physically healthy but I'm also getting mentally healthy I'm doing all the things for my kids but I'm also out here being a much better person to everyone in my community and providing more value so that way I can see my community thrive with me because personal excellence is what is going to drive your and being an excellent person is not being perfect but it's doing the hard things and doing them as well as you can so even excellence comes down to being in an and and I hope you guys take this episode win in your ands and let me know on instagram tell me what your and is so that way I can be there with you and I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your day