Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

your host Aurora, licensed life coach and companion on this

beautiful journey called life. I hope you feel good, I hope you

feel safe and loved and comfortable. If you do not feel

good at the moment, I hope I can bring you value, I hope I can

bring you comfort. And I hope I can bring you a little bit

closer to yourself. Please be aware that I'm not a doctor, I'm

not a professional. If you're struggling with mental health,

if you're taking medication, don't make any adjustments based

on what I say here. You need to seek out help from a

professional if you are struggling with your health. I'm

simply sharing from my experience and hope that by

doing that I can make you feel less lonely. Today I want to

talk about taking things personal. when life throws us a

curveball, when we are shattered when we are disappointed by

circumstances. When we feel hurt, when we are traumatized.

By whatever came our way, we sometimes tend to fall into many

depression. For some people, a big depression starts once

something out of the norm happens. And what I've learned

during the last four months of my life, is that when we do

that, when we take things personal, we don't allow the

circumstances around us and the people around us to support us

and help us. Right. Like when something happens, it is really

bad. But we tend to see then all of a sudden, everything is bad.

Life is against us people are against us. The government is

against us. And if we fall into that trap of victimhood, we at

the same time, close ourselves off to finding very valuable

support that is out there at all times, going through crisis,

opening up about your struggle with people, about people to

people however you say that in English, will surprise you most

of the time, because you will then realize that people around

you are way more compassionate than you thought they could be.

I feel especially with strangers who never really met you. And

you open up to them you speak to them. They have words for you,

they have wisdom for you that can deeply alter your life and

change the way you perceive life and that painful situation you

are in right now. So, as counter intuitive, it may feel I want

you to explore how much of a victim you have been in the past

with painful situations. And how much of that are you still

carrying around? And how much of that can you let go and trust

that pain and suffering disappointment? traumatizing

experiences are part of every person's life. My trauma, my

pain is not more important than your pain and trauma. And my

pain is not more valuable than your pain. It is all very

subjective and cannot be taken personal even though it is very

subjective. We all go through similar pain And the triggers

might be very different, right? The one person might just go

through a divorce after 30 years of marriage, another couple here

just lost their baby, right after birth, another couple have

just lost their dog and they had to put their dog down. And it

has all the same intensity of pain. But the trigger is very

different and to not judge people by why they feel certain

pain, but to see that we all go through these stages of grief

and pain and loss, can bring us closer together and will raise

our empathy and compassion that we could have for each other if

we were to see that. And by not taking your pain, your trauma

personal, you also stay in a place of empowerment, right? An

empowered person, a strong person with a big heart and

strong mind. And resilience, soul will go through pain, but

if that person doesn't take the circumstances, personally and

makes it about themselves, but just sees it as an opportunity

to show up as a human to show up authentically. That is a very

valuable thing to do. And to remember that next time you go

through pain and disappointment, that I mean, it sounds very

cliche, but there's always a learning there is always a good

side to all the bad that we're going through. And there's

always something beautiful happening within us, when we are

going through pain, right? If you go through a breakup, and

miss the person intensely now that is not in your life

anymore. You can feel that you are alive. You felt alive when

you were in love, and when you were close to that person, but

now that you feel this pain, you feel so real, you feel like you

prioritize your life very differently, you might neglect

yourself a little bit and abandon yourself a little bit.

But then catch up again, and know that the scar turned you in

such a more humble, loving, compassionate person, if you

choose to. Because pain if we take pain personally, and if we

take pain as a punishment, it can transform us into bitter

beings, very weird beings. I believe that all the sociopaths

out there and all the people who do weird shit, went through

intense trauma and made the wrong conclusions about life

afterwards. And then they run around with a distorted view

when it comes to people and life in general, and it's just, yeah,

just a weird in the video. So you can choose to see that pain

can be a force that brings out the true you. It can be an

experience that will make you show up more authentically in

the future that will make you connect with people that maybe

went through similar trauma and overcame the pain and struggles

and now you can inspire each other or you can help other

people out who will in the future go through similar pains

that you are going through right now. But to really ask yourself,

to which degree and that's what I talked about my last episode,

that how much you identify with your pain,

to which degree you let pain be part of your identity of your

true self. And I feel we can all let go a little bit more of our

past pain and when we close our eyes of course when you're

driving. Don't close your eyes if you operate Eating machinery,

don't close your eyes. But later on maybe tonight, just before

you fall asleep, imagine a river. And imagine lead box that

is right in front of you. And into that box you pour every

pain, every burden, that you're still carrying around

disappointment, very specific situations that you might have

gone through recently.

And you stuff everything into that box. And you close that

box. And you lift it up and you feel the heaviness of that box.

All the pain, all the regret, all the suffering is in that box

and side of that box now in your hands. And all the learnings,

all the ways that those pains have changed you for the better

or close to your heart, they still inside of you. And to then

go closer to that river and to put that box into the river. And

to let it float away. If you have a sarcastic monkey mind

like I do, I would right away say well, a heavy cardboard box

that plays into the water is not going to float away, it's just

gonna sink to the bottom and dissolve. But maybe it's a

different kind of box, maybe it's a plastic container with

air, and you put all the BS inside of it that you don't need

to carry around anymore. And you let that contain a float away

until you cannot see it anymore. And maybe you can feel it

already that something is detaching from you something

wants to let go. Something wants to just get outside of you. And

that is the pain that you don't need to carry anymore. The

disappointments the more we cling to weird conclusions to

our suffering to taking things personal. The more we close

ourselves off to the beauty of life, to everything that people

and life have to offer for us. So it is very valuable practice

to let go. And to know that you're safe. And to know that

you overcame all the struggles and you're here now to continue

to live your life in this present moment and into the

future with fresh eyes with a beautiful open mind. And a big

one hawk and heart

I'm gonna leave you with this. And I want to thank you for all

the messages and feedback that I received from you guys from all

over the world. It's very, very precious to hear from you and to

learn about your experiences. And to know that I can bring you

peace and love. And yeah, I can bring you a little bit closer to

yourself to who you truly are. That makes me feel so good that

I can be a part of your journey. So thank you so much for being

here for listening. And if you would like to then I'll meet you

in the next episode. hopefully very soon, but certainly still

in this year. We only had December 18 today so yes, I will

certainly show up. Also on Facebook with a live video. If

we haven't connected there yet. Just Yeah. Give me a shout.

Aurora Eggert. Profile Facebook, take really good care of

yourself. Have a big glass of water. That's what I'll do now.

And I will be out there fairly soon.