All right. Welcome to the awfully quiet podcast. I gotta be honest. This episode wasn't planned. I have just recorded another episode early this morning and. This is something that came up during the course of my morning that I felt like I needed to speak with you about. Now, I want to be really transparent.

I, I already took 1 attempt of collecting my thoughts and starting a recording. when this experience was very, very fresh this morning, and then I realized this was too much of a rant for me. I had to go on a walk. I had to take a little bit of a break during lunchtime, get some fresh air, collect my thoughts, and try this again.

So this is now my second attempt, and I'm hoping I'm coming to you a little bit more collected, a little bit calmer. At least this is my preferred way of speaking and communicating, expressing myself anyway. And I just want to share with you what happened today and why I think this is something that, is going to resonate with you as well.

And very much. An introverted experience in corporate now, I'm going to give you some context. It's Friday today. my Friday morning was busier than usual with meetings. I got to say what the job that I do in general right now is, meeting heavy packed with back to back meetings. Fridays is usually a little bit better, but every once in a while, there's a big meeting Friday mornings.

So today was. Busier than usual. Normally I have managed to, you know, to, to, to manage my energy quite well in the recent years, when it comes to back to back meetings, I've put some things in place that help me, recharge refuel, but it's just like a 10 minute break in between, or whether it's a dog walk during lunchtime, that really, really helps me recharge, reenergize.

I feel like I'm usually managing my energy quite well, so I'm not too depleted after a long day of work. But today I was all out of energy, all out of my social battery at 11 a. m. this morning. That's when I was all drained. And so, what happened and what I'm going to name this episode. So working, working title for this episode is.

How to get a word in, in a room full of extroverts. Now I'm sure this resonates with you and I'm sure you all know the kind of meeting, the kind of situation where you feel like you're outnumbered. You cannot get a word in, you are overlooked, you really want to say something, but you really don't know how.

And so this is something that happens to me very, very rarely. I feel like in recent years and in the company organization setting I'm in, the position I'm in, I often feel like everybody considers other people on the call. Everybody's very considerate about, you know, the share of voice that you have in any given meeting.

And kind of making sure that everybody gets to say something. Everybody gets to share their opinion, gets to share their perspective. I feel like we've gotten really good at facilitating meetings and kind of making sure to manage expectations. There's been this whole era of, you know, meetings that could have been an email.

And so I feel like we've gotten a lot better. And making sure we're aware of others in the room and we hold space for others. And we're not just trying to push ourselves into the spotlight. And obviously from, from introverted perspective, that's rarely us. We rarely want to be in the spotlight, but if you're anything like me, if you are asked to join a meeting, if you're invited to a meeting.

You're not going to want to be on this meeting to listen to other people speaking. You're not going to join this meeting to, to, to just listen in. You're also going to want to participate. You're also going to want to say something. You're also want to share your perspective. That's the expectation that I have.

At least so today was a bit of an outlier today was a bit of a strange experience and I must admit it was, a new group of people I haven't previously connected with and I really struggled to, to find my place in that meeting and I felt like introverted me. Felt exhausted coming out of this meeting.

And I also felt like I took a massive step back in my personal development and all that I've learned and done over the past couple of years. And I talk about this so often in the podcast and also on my platform on subtle careers about, you know, how we, how introverts show up in meetings, how we speak up in meetings, how we make sure our voice is heard.

And all of a sudden I'm in this situation where. I can't deal and none of what I would normally do applies and I realized how heavily I'm dependent on other people granting that space and on other people being considerate and facilitating really well. So. What do you do if something isn't facilitated really well?

What do you do if it's the wild west of a get together with a fair share of extroverts in the room? you know, don't want to offend anyone who is extroverted. but, I could say that it's probably a fair share of people who are really loud, who have a lot to say, who will. cut into what other people are saying, who will speak over somebody else, sharing something who will just take up a lot of space in the room.

And that's really uncomfortable for me. I felt a lot of tension in my body, a lot of friction, um, within myself. And this is what I, why I wanted to share this with you is that we're all on a journey and we're all going to be experiencing situations like this, whether it be at work, in corporate. In our private lives, there will always be situations like that, where we find ourselves in a room that is loud, in a room that is chaotic, in a room that has a lot less structure than we would like to have.

What do we do then? How do we stay true to who we are? How do we stay true to ourselves while making sure that our voice is heard? Because, you know, the last thing I want you to do is. Say nothing or feel like you couldn't get a word in, you couldn't say what you wanted. On the other hand, I also know that just kind of speaking out loud will often feel really unnatural.

I found myself in this meeting today at one point and I really wanted to say something. I felt like I hadn't said something at all. There wasn't, wasn't any space for that yet. And other, it felt like other people were having a conversation, um, without everyone else in the room. And, I didn't quite know what to do.

And at some point I did try. to get a word in. I did make myself a little louder. it did, it felt completely unorganic, unnatural to me. And I realized whenever I try to get a word in, whenever I could just kind of try to squeeze in and make myself louder than I would usually be, it's never coming from a good place.

And I'm never going to be heard. In a good way. And there was even somebody who, who cut in and, started to then speak at the same time about something I had said, which is difficult for me. It's also, it's also not the right behavior for being honest, but, I felt like I've, I've got everything out in the first attempt of recording this.

So I, I want to stop the rant here. So if that feels so unnatural, to just make yourself louder, what do you do? So I went out for my walk and I'm like, okay, how am I going to deal with situations like this? How can I walk away from this very energy draining experience in the morning and learn from it, do it better next time?

How do I show up to meetings like this prepared? And how do I act on the spot when I find myself in a situation like this? So, I noted down five little tips of how you can get a word in, in a room full of extroverts, in a room full of people who are loud, who are not considerate of anybody else who wants to speak up and who quite frankly, probably are not aware of taking up all the space.

Number one is you want to continue to show presence. What do I mean by that is what tends to happen and what can often happen if you feel like you're There's such a, such a chaotic energy in the room is you find yourself leaning back. You find yourself phasing out. You realize there is no way I'm going to get a word in.

So I better not even try. So I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to bother about sharing my perspective. And I don't want you to do that. I want you to keep staying present. And that's what I tried to do this morning is I try to keep follow the conversation. I try to not keep an open body language, smile, stay open, open facial and warm facial expressions and also signaling.

I have something to say, I have something to share. I'm not just here to listen to you speak. The extrovert. I want to say something too. So signaling with an open body language with an open posture, open expressions, obviously camera on if you're in a virtual meeting, that always shows that you're there.

You're interested. You've got something to say. You may even drop some things in the chat, ask questions in the chat or, you know, whatever this looks like, but try to keep an open body language that always helps. Number 2 is, you may be able to speak to the facilitator beforehand. Now, if you know the meeting facilitator, and if you can already anticipate that this might be a situation where it's hard for you to put a word in, or you feel like, you have a consistently had

saying something, sharing something, you can reach out to the facilitator beforehand and say, look, I've got something to share in this upcoming meeting, that I would really like to show to the group. Here's how much time, this may probably take. Can you hold some space for me to share this with everyone?

And then. That way, the facilitator can plan that in. You have managed that expectation. You have contract this time and they can invite you to speak in the meeting and let everyone know, you know, this person wanted to say something today has brought something, part of the agenda, whatever it looks like, Might feel a little bit unnatural to begin with, but honestly speaking, I think this is the best way of how things work. And this is the best way to ensure you're going to be able to say something. There is that space for you and you don't have to fight for it. It's given to you. You're invited. And if you're anything like me, not only introverted, but I am a human design projector, which means that.

I often, I am often most comfortable when I speak from a place of being invited, being asked for my opinion, being asked for my perspective, for my view. That feels the most natural to me and that feels when whatever I say really comes across. So if you're anything like that, being invited to speak is a great way.

To share your voice in a meeting, you could also choose to share your ideas afterwards. You know, if you find yourself in a meeting, you couldn't anticipate that you're not going to be able to say something. You can always wrap up in an email. You can always tell everyone, look, thank you for the meeting earlier.

following the conversation, I had a couple other thoughts. Here's what I jotted down. What do you think about this? Do you want me to set up a follow up meeting so that we can discuss, et cetera? So there is that way to following the meeting. Now, I would also say number four, model the right behavior.

Do something that's going to show some of the louder personalities on in the group, how it's really done. Quite frankly, and if you do get to speak up and if you do find a voice, always look around and see at who else hasn't been able to get a word in. There was, the one person in the room this morning where that was the case and had a little side chat to, run to each other.

And you can always say, look, here, here's my opinion. I know that this, this person in the group has experienced something slightly similar. I'd love to hear from you. Or I'd love to hear from this person. Speak up and model the right behavior. Make sure that everybody gets to share their opinion. Make sure that everybody gets a voice.

To be heard and be confident enough to, or courageous enough to lead the room into a slightly different direction. Number five is you can offer facilitating a meeting next time. I feel like meeting facilitation is something that introverts are inherently good at because we are less focused on being in the spotlight and more focused on putting others into the making others voices feel heard.

Making other perspectives visible. And so you can always offer, you know, what, great to connect today. Maybe I can set this up for next time and put together an agenda that would work for everyone and make sure that we cover a lot of ground, that we have a structure and that everybody gets to share their opinion and their points of views.

I feel like this could be a great way for introverts who struggle with speaking up to. Become a little bit more visible, become a little bit more prominent because the facilitator always is naturally prominent in a meeting and it can help shine a line on light on those who are also struggling to get a word in and it shows some of the louder.

Some of the more extroverted people in the room, how it's done.

Got a little spicy in the end again, but yeah, I hope that you can take something away from this. I really wanted this to be a light session, a session that comes from the heart, from something I felt really passionate about, really strongly about today in my day. It also shows you that. I am on a journey.

I'm still learning. I'm still trying to figure out my introverted personality in the corporate world. So you're not alone. And we're in this together and we're going to make our voice heard. So with that, I'll leave you to next time.