Jay Schwedelson: We are back for Do This, NOT That! And I could not be more excited about who is here. I am being so real, so lemme tell you. Who is here, and then why I'm so excited. So Eileen Wilder is here. Now, you may know Eileen Wilder because she's one of the biggest names out there, uh, speaking about sales and about how to get people, uh, going and all this stuff.

Jay Schwedelson: But lemme tell you really why she's here. There's. Very few times that I go to a session and see somebody speak that, and that's not just because I'm not like some great speaker or whatever, but usually I go to a session, I'm like, this is so boring. And I do a fake phone call and I wanna get out of the room because I can't take it.

Jay Schwedelson: And I didn't know who Eileen was and I'm sitting in this room and she gets up to speak and it blew my mind. She is. She's like on the Mount Rushmore of public speakers of anybody that I've ever seen speak and we're gonna talk today about all of that. But her story is so inspiring 'cause she didn't like come up the ranks and be like, I'm gonna be a public speaker and I'm gonna teach people how to sell and do all this stuff.

Jay Schwedelson: She has the most wild background and for anybody out there that's like, you know what? I'm stuck in this one thing. I can never do something else. Eileen is here to tell you. Otherwise. She went from being a pastor. For 20 years. Okay? And she pivoted and within just two years she had a multimillion dollar business.

Jay Schwedelson: Who can do that? Eileen can do that. She's here. I'm so excited. Welcome to the show.

Eileen Wilder: Thank you Jay. I am so pumped to be here. It's, it'd be so fun.

Jay Schwedelson: So, so I did a horrendous job of explaining who you are, 'cause I got very excited. I was all over the place. Can you tell everybody who you are and how Eileen became Eileen?

Eileen Wilder: Yes, well, primarily Jay, I help people, you know, crush it from stage, not be boring and install a virtual event to accelerate sales now, but, uh, close to 40. I was a pastor, like you said, and I was a pastor, but I was also super broke. So I was living in an apartment, a two bedroom apartment, three kids. My husband was Uber driving just five years ago, since that time and since we learned how to. Communicate, help other people communicate. We've done, uh, over about $14 million in sales and now, um, just growing our business like crazy and helping people like crazy. So super fun.

Jay Schwedelson: Okay, so wait on, let's unpack this a little bit. You are in your, uh, small apartment. Your husband's driving an Uber. This is. Five years ago.

Eileen Wilder: This is five years ago. Yep. Yep.

Jay Schwedelson: Five years ago. And, and, and what happens? You wake up and you say, stop with the, don't deliver the pizza. I got a new idea. I'm gonna make a lot of money. Yeah.

Eileen Wilder: yeah. Well, this is so cool. I, I, I went to a conference, which I, um, I love events and so. I learned about how to do an event, like how to host an event and how to speak at that event in a way that you could sell something, especially Jay selling something premium or like a coaching consulting offer was high ticket.

Eileen Wilder: I was very nervous to do it my first time, and I got six people in my very first event, but I learned how to communicate in a way that caused people to want to buy. That's the big difference that I see between like boring speakers and speakers who crush it. Is they're able to cause desire from the audience to wanna buy.

Eileen Wilder: Whereas boring speakers are just like lulling everybody to sleep and therefore zero people wanna buy. So I learned how to create this desire in the audience to come toward me to apply, to get on the phone. And I did $108,000 in that one event. So I did. So I went from like Z zero, nothing to being able to have this skill.

Eileen Wilder: And then I like did 108,000 and I turned to my husband and I was like, babe. You gotta quit Uber tonight. We gotta go. We're going all in in this. And that's what we did. Yeah.

Jay Schwedelson: So, okay, so, so you went to this conference, you learned how to do it, you start doing it and now you're making some money, whatever. But let's unpack a little bit for everybody that's listening. 'cause everybody that is listening, they might not get on a big stage. Maybe they present on a Zoom, maybe they talk to people in the conference room, a small thing, or even a group of people at a cocktail party.

Jay Schwedelson: What is, you know, the Eileen Secrets? To number one, not being nervous, uh uh, when you speak or, or do you always get nervous? And then how do you capture attention fast? So people are like, yeah, I wanna listen to this person.

Eileen Wilder: So good. Yeah. Well, let me get, let, let's capture attention fast. 'cause most people can just, with this one little move, they can instantly form a more magnetic connection with people. And the big speakers do it from stage two. So it's, it's a move called, uh, going from I to you. So when you meet somebody, you normally, they'll say something like, Jay, tell me what you do.

Eileen Wilder: And you'll be like, hi. And then if we can make that as, as short as possible. Okay. Like Jay, if I asked you, Jay, what is it that, what you do, what would you say?

Jay Schwedelson: I have a digital agency and I sell media products.

Eileen Wilder: Oh yeah. Perfect. And then as soon as Jay's done saying that sentence, if Jay can switch to you and you'll see great, you know, networkers be able to this, but like do you do if we switch to you as fast as possible? the key to engagement. There have been studies that show that the brain lights up when it hears the word you, and this is what most speakers are not doing from the platform.

Jay Schwedelson: So what does that mean? How do you switch to you? So when someone says, what do you do, you say. Uh, you sell digital media products?

Eileen Wilder: No, no, no. Sorry. So you're like, yeah, I run a digital agency and I sell, uh, media products. You, you could go immediate, like, tell me what you do.

Jay Schwedelson: Oh.

Eileen Wilder: you could say thank you. You could say, you know how, you know how uh, people struggle. This is a great next, this is a great like, kind of follow up line. Or like, you know, how people struggle with getting their marketing to work? What I do is I install a marketing system inside of businesses that immediately drives leads or whatever you

Jay Schwedelson: Okay. It got it.

Eileen Wilder: know how, you know, how or what do you do? We're gonna just move to you. Yeah.

Jay Schwedelson: And is that why you've, okay, so now you start out your web presentation, your talk, whatever, say like literally, is it instantly relatable? Like, you know, you know how you have this thing that blah, blah, blah, blah. And then everybody's like, yeah, that's me. And they connect. That's the move. Yeah.

Eileen Wilder: let me get let, so let's, where, let's say you're walking into the, the boardroom. You're walking into the room, walking into the, the platform. You're gonna a great first liner here, because now I can't have an individual conversation with Jay. I'm gonna go to a, to the whole room. I'm gonna say, how many of you, boom.

Eileen Wilder: So it's in the first. Like a couple words there. How many, how many of you? Fourth word. How many of you would like to install a digital marketing machine inside of your business that's gonna drive sales and leads? Somebody shout That sounds good. You know? So we're just gonna go, that's called a universal question. Universal question. Just everybody saying yes.

Jay Schwedelson: Okay,

Eileen Wilder: you now, immediately you have the room right there.

Jay Schwedelson: so now what? Now I got the room. What do I gotta do next?

Eileen Wilder: Well, what I love to do is, um, so you want me to kinda walk you through like first couple,

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Eileen Wilder: Yeah. So we're gonna go, how many of you, universal question and then you, this is what I like to say. I say like, in today's short presentation, I'm gonna show you. Boom, boom, boom.

Eileen Wilder: So now, now the audience is like. Number one, I've, I've got command energy. So they're, they can relax now. They'll wanna feel like every, all of us want to know the speaker is not gonna waste our time.

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah, a hundred percent.

Eileen Wilder: So, and if I have that command energy coming on the stage lowering my tonality. How many of you, okay, so, and then I go in the short presentation.

Eileen Wilder: Everyone loves Jay, a short presentation. You.

Jay Schwedelson: Yes.

Eileen Wilder: You know it, right? So in the short presentation, and it doesn't, I don't, I don't care if it's not short, just say it's gonna be short anyway. In a short presentation, you're gonna boom, boom, boom. I'm gonna show you this, this, and this. Everybody. Now you can almost see it in the room. Exhales. Everybody's relax word. Now we know somebody who knows how to drive the car is driving the car. You know what I mean? Like when you

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah.

Eileen Wilder: in, like you're with a good driver,

Jay Schwedelson: Yes.

Eileen Wilder: you're like, I can relax.

Jay Schwedelson: Right. Okay. I love this. And so, uh, first of all, the greatest thing you've ever said is that tell 'em it's short. Even if it's not short, because I'm going to use that because it's so true. I mean, that's why this podcast is short, but like, no one wants anything wrong. It's just, and it's ridiculous.

Eileen Wilder: too much.

Jay Schwedelson: Too much. It's like when I go out for dinner, uh, my wife would be like, okay, we have plans with this couple. I go, where are we going? If it's more than 20 minutes, I'm like, 0%. I'm not going. I'm out. I'm out. I'm not going. Like, it's too far. Yeah, yeah. Too far. Too far. Uh,

Eileen Wilder: It's too much.

Jay Schwedelson: too much. And so now, okay, now you go through the things, you get everyone going.

Jay Schwedelson: Is there like a closing thing to really close the deal?

Eileen Wilder: yeah. Yeah. Well, and, and I mean, and just kind of like a few, few kind of peaks I'd hit after that opening,

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah.

Eileen Wilder: hit, you know, my, my origin story of how did I discover this digital marketing system. Now we're bought into. Tell me more. Now. This is where you can feel the desire. Then I'll go into like how the system works. Then as I close, I'm gonna probably do a case study, something that worked for me or a student, and that just seals it with another story, anchors the authority. This dude knows what's up. And then what I like to do, Jay, is I like to close, um, actually kind of with like, I call him Mr. Rogers ending. So I close with like a piece of literature that might be well known.

Eileen Wilder: It could be like a poem, it could be sometimes song lyrics. I can give you an example. As I do that, I'll say like, in closing, and then I'll share something that's meaningful and you can almost hear the audience at the end of that go, wow. And, then you say, thank you so much for ha like having me. The, the audience just stands for their feet.

Eileen Wilder: It's like, it's like a performance.

Jay Schwedelson: So wait a minute. What, what, what, what, what do you close with? Like a sentence from Pearl Jam? What do you mean? You close with a.

Eileen Wilder: You know, that, that might be, that should be yours. So let's write that down.

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah. Like what are we closing with?

Eileen Wilder: yeah. Like, um, for instance, um, there's a, a, um, you know, the, I would say pure imagination. I'm, I'm thinking of the, you know, the movie Willow,

Jay Schwedelson: Of course. Yes. I'm Augustus Gloop. I like the chocolate.

Eileen Wilder: Okay, so Gene Wilder. He sings this song called Pure Imagination.

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah.

Eileen Wilder: every child has heard

Jay Schwedelson: Yes.

Eileen Wilder: so I'll, I'm kind of inspiring people in my speeches. So I'll say, in closing, I would like to close with this, this song from Willy Wonka's, Pure Imagination. And then I go right into it, and it's almost like this childlike joy, this anchored memory of pure, unbelievable, like everything's possible. Feeling comes across the room. So it's like it's emotion. What we are trying, what we're what we want at every peak in valley is low emotion, high emotion. This drives the sail.

Jay Schwedelson: Wow. I like that. I like also like Lego movie. When they say Everything is awesome, I'm gonna use that song. That's gonna be my song,

Eileen Wilder: Yours is gonna be so on brandJay Schwedelson: unfortunately, for me.

Eileen Wilder: back.

Jay Schwedelson: That's exactly right. So I, okay, I have, I've, another thing I wanna talk about, but before I get there, do you, you were a pastor for 20 years, so I feel like you have a cheat code. Like you don't get nervous at all when you go on a big stage. You're like, I've done this 4 billion times, I'll, I don't care.

Jay Schwedelson: Or do you still like, have to hype yourself up, be like, uh, like how do, how do people get over nerves?

Eileen Wilder: Yeah, but I mean, I think sometimes people, they do say that to me. They think, oh, you're a pastor. So, I mean, I think people don't, I used to have anxiety attacks even as a pastor, so I, when back one time, I ran off the stage when they announced

Jay Schwedelson: Oh wow.

Eileen Wilder: I, I've seen, I've

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah.

Eileen Wilder: right, so. Yes, I still do get nervous.

Eileen Wilder: I've learned a couple reframes in my mind that redirect that nervousness into excitement. So for me, I'd have to reframe and I can give you some of those if that would be helpful. But I'm just gonna reframe some of those thoughts so that I can tap into an excited energy rather than a tight, rigid, pulled back fear energy.

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah. What are the WIS doing?

Eileen Wilder: what, do you want me to mention some of

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah, yeah, please.

Eileen Wilder: So one of the things is to think about your audience. How the audience has, has no idea that what, you know, like we do not know Jay, what you know and what you know would change our lives. So if you as the speaker are backstage and think about the one person in the audience who was like you 10 years ago and who's like would do anything to have achieved what it is that you've achieved and to know what it is that you know. To speak to that one life and think about that life like I am that person's best hope at like achieving success. Then you're motivated. Now it's like we're getting out of ourself and we're focusing on them. They do not know your content, like the lack of the gap between where they are and what you know is so big they need you so bad.

Eileen Wilder: So just gonna focus on how much they need. What it is that you have, and that starts to pull, that has a, a pulling energy rather than a pushing demand energy.

Jay Schwedelson: I love that. I'm gonna use that. That's actually really, really helpful. I, so while I still have you, there's one topic and this, this is for my own consultation right now, so I have never been. Comfortable. I wanna get comfortable selling like products, if you will, content products or selling like access to, uh, videos or whatever.

Jay Schwedelson: All that stuff, that whole world, I've always felt like I should give that away for free and then I'll sell my business services, whatever. But I'd love to be, I'm being honest, I'd love to be in that business, but I feel nervous asking people to spend a lot of money. On stuff. I feel like this is crap and it's not worth it.

Jay Schwedelson: And, and whatever, how it, how do you de go over that and is that a real thing? And, and, and like, this is your world, you selling these products. How do.

Eileen Wilder: Yeah. I built up conviction, but it was when I realized that your information in your mind has like inherent intrinsic value on its owni, aside from you. So differentiating, like taking almost what it is that you know, you know, Jay, like this is my energy drink, right?

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah.

Eileen Wilder: it's outside of you. Your system, your knowledge, your consultative experience, your steps, your frameworks separate from you. It is not you. It's not, and you're not even a hundred percent attached to that delivery. Your knowledge has intrinsic value, and this intrinsic value, if somebody gets it, is, could move the needle significantly in their business. So the, I'm gonna, I'm gonna focus my mind on this ener, like the result of this, once it hits someone's business, how much could, how much could, let me ask you this.

Eileen Wilder: How much could, like your framework. Accelerate revenue or drive sales

Jay Schwedelson: A lot. A lot. Yes.

Eileen Wilder: What would be, if you were to brag for a second, what would be like a, a client that you've worked with or a company that like really experienced a big result?

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah, they, they've seen multiple, you know, multiple seven figure revenue growth from like, just a handful of sessions.

Eileen Wilder: that's nuts.

Jay Schwedelson: Right. And I, and, and, but that's, and I'm like, here, here's my information. And so that's why I'm like, I'm not playing the game. Right.

Eileen Wilder: Well then let, so a great move for everybody listening is to have a VIP day, just one day. Like, what could you do with a, a business in one day? then what I'll do is I'll, I'll kind of like price anchor that day really high. And then also just give people like a special deal. Like, normally I charge blah, blah, blah for a VIP day. I charge, now this is like six, we're over, well over six figures here. Like normally I charge that here. But for you, I could do this at this price. Let me give you an example. So my VIP Day, Jay, is $250,000.

Jay Schwedelson: Whoa. What do you get for that? What do you get for that?

Eileen Wilder: Well, before I, I tell you what you're gonna get one day of my time. For

Jay Schwedelson: Wow.

Eileen Wilder: at your business. I know. then I'll say, now for you in this situation, I'm gonna, I'm going to let you into my VIP day for a hundred thousand dollars down and 25% of the revenue for the first six months. Pause. Which option works better for you?

Jay Schwedelson: Well, definitely the cheaper one, but I have a very real question. First of all, you're worth a million dollars or more, don't get me wrong, but like do people do it?

Eileen Wilder: yeah. So yes. I mean, I just, Yeah, I mean, I just sold, I was just on a private jet with four of them together doing a group VIP day, so

Jay Schwedelson: So can I ask you a question now? I feel like I'm on a one-on-one call with you. Do you just, when you promote that, do you send out an email to your list of people saying, Hey, you wanna hang with me for a day? Gimme a hundred grand. Like, and then you get people say, yes, I do.

Eileen Wilder: I mean, there was a quote I heard from my friend, Myron Golden, who said, the offer you don't make, no one can take. Right. So if nobody knows about the, if the offer isn't made, no one can pay you that amount, right?

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah.

Eileen Wilder: what I've done is like voice memo drops. So like I'll, I'll record a voice memo and then it gets blasted out to my hot, hot, warm. Leads and be like, Hey, Eileen's got a jet coming, like a jet trip coming up. If you'd like to take us up on this, like kind of hop on this one, we will go to a call, um, with somebody on the team. Yeah. So I mean, you could have swiped that aside. The, the point is your knowledge, Jay, your eyes on the right avatar, the right business could produce multiple millions without you having to do anything.

Jay Schwedelson: Wow.

Eileen Wilder: Like imagine if you met with their whole team, their whole marketing team. Like, say, you know what I

Jay Schwedelson: Yeah. Right,

Eileen Wilder: or maybe C-suite, whoever, I don't know a bunch of

Jay Schwedelson: right,

Eileen Wilder: like look at their, I don't know, you know, but you're,

Jay Schwedelson: right, right.

Eileen Wilder: going through the whole business in that VIP day, like do this, do now you gotta do this, install this here, blah, blah, blah. You know, like you could, you would crush.

Jay Schwedelson: Well, thank you. Oh. Oh, I'm excited. First of all, I'm excited about you being here. I learned a lot. This is all amazing. Uh, everybody's gotten, get involved here. So Eileen wrote a book, it's called Move The Room. Okay? If you, it is not just about speaking on stage. If you ever have to talk to a small team on the Zoom, if you have to talk to people in a conference room, if you have to go to a cocktail party, if you're nervous about going to Thanksgiving and talking to annoying relatives, move the room will help you.

Jay Schwedelson: I promise you. Eileen Wilder, we're gonna put all of her stuff, uh uh, in show notes, Instagram, the whole thing. Eileen, what else should people do to get consumed in your world?

Eileen Wilder: Aw. So thank you, Jay. Uh, move the room. book.com is where you can grab, it's free. We've covered the cost of the book and just people just pay for shipping, so it's our gift to you. So move the room book.com. that's it.

Jay Schwedelson: I, I, I, every time we get to spend time together, I learn a lot. I get excited. Thank you. You are wonderful. And, and I appreciate everything you shared.Eileen Wilder: Thank you, Jay. Thanks for having me.

Jay Schwedelson: Alright.