[00:00:00] Joann Pollard: So the main thought that I have right now is consistent with the conversation we've had about boundaries. I was that person who was involved in all of the ERGs, doing all of the events, having multiple roles, and seeing people who weren't doing that work, getting promoted ahead of myself, when this is supposed to be a priority for the company, right?

[00:00:26] And I'm doing this work, and if it were really a priority, then you'd be promoting me and paying me, right? So, for me, it's about saying no. I said no, earlier this week, somebody wasn't happy about it, but I'm sorry, that's my boundary right now. I can't continue to give to this space when I need to focus on other things right now.

[00:00:51] My family is more important right now. My side hustle is more important right now, not than getting my job done. Not more important than continuing to be a rockstar at work. Those are the things that I have to do to keep my employment right, but the extra things, I just don't have time for it right now.​

[00:01:14] Christy Rutherford: Welcome everyone to Why She's Winning. I am your host, Christy Rutherford, and today we are here to talk about how busy moms can have it all. Today my guest is Joann Pollard.

[00:01:58] Joanne is a mother and wife and has been a marketer for over 20 years. She is currently a brand marketer in the video game industry.

[00:02:05] She is an alumni of Columbia University and the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, ow. In 2021, she was named a Latina Rozen Star by Alpha. She's also been nominated for a company-Wide Purpose and Belief Award, as well as Contribution to Culture and Professional Development Awards in her local office.

[00:02:28] Joann has global and local roles in employee resource groups, which she has used to speak and act on behalf of underrepresented communities. She recently identified her purpose and decided to launch a YouTube channel. We did that. Which will launch later this month in June. Her channel will help parents connect with their kids.

[00:02:52] It's a passion project that she's pursuing with her family. When she's not working, she enjoys Zumba playing board games with her family and reading. Welcome, Joann.

[00:03:02] Joann Pollard: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

[00:03:05] Christy Rutherford: So Joann?

[00:03:07] Joann Pollard: Yes.

[00:03:08] Christy Rutherford: I wanted to invite you here as a woman who has transformed her life because here's the thing about moms.

[00:03:15] People always will give working moms a reason to stay the same and say, you're expected to be burning out. You're expected. You just can't get it together, even if you have young kids. So give it up. Does that make sense? And I'm always on the sideline, saying, no, I think that there could be something different.

[00:03:35] And they say, Christy, you don't understand because you don't have kids, you don't have a spouse. You don't know what we're going through. So that's what I want you to assist us with unpacking today. So...

[00:03:47] Joann Pollard: Yeah, that's absolutely true. I think that the big mistake that a lot of people make is that when they get married or when they have children, they think that their life has to be just about the kids.

[00:03:58] They have to martyr themselves. They have to put their kids first in every way, shape or form. And your kids are important, but you can't be the best you if you're not indulging in self-care, if you're not taking care of yourself, if you're not making deliberate steps towards your happiness.

[00:04:16] I told my kids when they started their summer break. Mommy's having fun this summer. If you guys keep your rooms clean, you are welcome to join me, but mommy's having fun regardless. I have a staycation planned in a couple of weeks. I have another vacation planned in July, and my kids can come as long as they do what they need to do to join me.

[00:04:41] Christy Rutherford: All right, so we got the VFM family on the line. You see Renee and Carly.

[00:04:46] Joann Pollard: Hey there.

[00:04:47] Christy Rutherford: Giving their shots out. So let's talk about it, Joann, what was going on with you when you decided to give us a call?

[00:04:57] Joann Pollard: I had a very difficult 2021. My mother was diagnosed with cancer. My father-in-law passed away. My kids were home during the entire pandemic.

[00:05:08] And I think every person I know who's married either is no longer married or ended up in therapy, myself included. I was putting everyone before me and it was taking a toll. I gained a ton of weight. I wasn't being the best mom and spouse because I wasn't giving to me. So I called you because I wasn't happy at work.

[00:05:31] That's really why I called you. I didn't realize that this was not a get a better job program. I thought that this was a, how do I make my career what I wanted to be? I didn't realize that what we would be discussing is how do I make me happy and then open myself to better opportunities.

[00:05:55] Christy Rutherford: Why you out here telling our trade secrets, Joanne. You know, I like to trick y'all to get on the phone. You be like, girl, you some more money. Do you, are you unsatisfied with your job? Yes. Let's talk. Do your whole life suck? What?

[00:06:09] Joann Pollard: Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much.

[00:06:12] Christy Rutherford: So, so everybody has something that I said to them.

[00:06:17] I don't remember. So did I call you something? Did I label you something or what was, go ahead. What was most shocking In our conversation.

[00:06:24] Joann Pollard: You told me that I was crazy, but you know, I honestly don't remember everything you said to me because I was so nervous talking to you about my issues. But yeah, you did, you told me I was crazy.

[00:06:36] I remember telling you. Oof. If you think I'm crazy now, I was damn near in an estate asylum last year.

[00:06:48] Christy Rutherford: Hold on. So . Okay. So I called you crazy straight up.

[00:06:50] Joann Pollard: You called me crazy. Mm-hmm.

[00:06:51] Christy Rutherford: Okay. So what was that like? Were you mad? Were you like, oh my gosh, he's right. So what? You know, because I always, I'm curious on the other side of the receiver, right? Like, what was it like for someone who saw you for where you were to say, yeah, you crazy.

[00:07:11] Go ahead.

[00:07:12] Joann Pollard: I wasn't offended. I had joined you on a Saturday course where you were talking about, you know, how to value yourself, how to determine your worth, and you had told other people they were crazy. And I wasn't even in your top 10 of crazy. So I was cool with that.

[00:07:30] Christy Rutherford: And you know, the, the thing about it, Joann, is crazy is all revited, and I used to be crazy and I didn't know because we're taught as you know, powerful women. We're the ones in our family, we're the leaders in our family. We're the leaders at work. We're the leaders in the house and outside of the house. So we're not allowed to breathe really, because we're giving everything to everyone and we are nuts.

[00:07:56] And we think that people don't see it and they do see it. And I was talking to a lady yesterday and she was like, well, you know, I got two businesses. I saw you on a podcast. I got two businesses, and I have a one-year-old and a three-year-old. And I was like, oh yeah, you're nuts. You know? And she was just kind of standing and looking.

[00:08:16] I said, oh, you're, you're insane. She was like, well, how did you know? I'm like, I started to go you're first generation immigrant, you know? You're a woman, you're black, you have a one-year-old and a three-year-old, and you have an entre. So I was just like this. Let me just add up like all the things that are going on.

[00:08:35] And that's before we even get to the trauma that we experienced as kids. Does that make sense? So what was most surprising to you? You know, when you started to do the work and look in the mirror at yourself?

[00:08:46] What was most surprising?

[00:08:48] Joann Pollard: The thing that surprised me the most is that you refused to allow us to lean into victim mentality when we get a lot of messaging about how being a black woman, you're already at a disadvantage that you're going to get paid less than than your white counterparts. All of these things that I have accepted as truths, right? Oh yeah, life is so unfair because I'm a black woman.

[00:09:19] Life is so unfair because, you know, I don't have the connections, and the wealth that has propelled me to be more successful, and just coming in, and having you say, absolutely not. I don't accept that, was kind of shocking.

[00:09:40] Christy Rutherford: Let, unpack it. If, why? Because we're taught, you're a Latino woman, you're supposed to struggle, you're supposed to do this, you're supposed to do that. So why was it shocking that I said that's a lie?

[00:09:55] Joann Pollard: Because it's not the messaging that I've gotten. It's not you know, I work very closely with DEI initiatives at work.

[00:10:03] I've been involved with, you know, I've read the research. I've done all of that, and I've been accepting of that. And then whatever limitations that puts on me as well.

[00:10:19] Christy Rutherford: You know what's interesting is because, minorities, and I'm not gonna say all right, but there is this whole thing around attacking people, about being entitled and privileged.

[00:10:30] And then we're taught that we're supposed to struggle and fight. And they're entitled and privileged. And I say, well, why aren't you entitled and privileged? Who told you that you had to struggle? Who told you that things had to become hard? And it is not that. It's because we believed it, right?

[00:10:49] Like the messaging is so strong and it's so long. It starts to get programmed into our heads that we're supposed to struggle, and then we look at people and become resentful because they're entitled to have wealth. They're entitled to get the position. So how has that, you know, once you weren't allowed to think that.

[00:11:11] What was that process for you to be able to reshape your thinking?

[00:11:17] Joann Pollard: Yeah. You know, I've done a lot of introspection. I have done a lot of thinking about where I am in my life, where I should be in my life, and what my purpose is. I think that, really thinking about what my purpose is and having those messages reinforced about how I can do whatever I want to do.

[00:11:39] I can be what I wanna be, I can accomplish what I wanna accomplish,s I can make the money that I wanna make. It's made me stop telling myself what I can't do. So, when I started thinking about this YouTube channel that I wanted to create, I've been thinking about it for a long time, even before you and I started talking, and before I entered the program.

[00:12:04] But I was thinking about how, well, I don't know how to shoot video. I don't know how to edit video. I don't have a fancy camera. My husband, he can do anything on a computer, but he doesn't want to. So I was waiting for other people to step up to help me out to make this happen. And then I said, I'm not gonna do that anymore.

[00:12:25] I can do whatever I want to do. I'm teaching myself Premier Pro so that I can edit videos. I just started doing, I started recording things. I took a class on Udemy, on how to start a YouTube channel and and how to do Adobe Premier Pro. So I'm just learning how to do these things.

[00:12:45] And the main message is it doesn't have to be perfect. Just do it. Just do it. And, and you'll be successful because I have a good idea because everyone I've spoken to is like, oh yeah, I need that. So that's been the shift. It's a shift from what can't I do to what can I do and how am I gonna do it and just acting.

[00:13:10] Christy Rutherford: So before we get there, let's unpack it a little bit, right? Because you are a mom of wonderful kids. How many kids do you have?

[00:13:19] Joann Pollard: I've got two nine year old and a five-year-old.

[00:13:21] Christy Rutherford: Two churn, two young kids who always in the background during the session.

[00:13:25] Joann Pollard: Always, you know how my kids do. We're on a call. My son will unmute my calls, and say, hey.

[00:13:34] Christy Rutherford: Always in the background. You're married. What? Because now we're talking about your passion, but there were steps to get to that passion because you had to now untangle and unravel some things to make room for the things that you enjoy. So what are two things, two actions that you would recommend to busy moms?

[00:13:55] Because let's go back to your drowning state. And give them a little bit to be able to come on the other side of freedom. Yeah. But she gave y'all the flash, what freedom looks like. So what was that like? And then, you know, what are one or two things that you did to be able to shift?

[00:14:11] So you can get out of the drowning pool?

[00:14:15] Joann Pollard: The first thing is to ask for help. I just was always under the assumption that I had to do everything myself. I remember one time when you and I were talking and I had been complaining because, you know, I felt like, oh, I have to do all of these things and, you know, I need help, but I have to do all of the things.

[00:14:36] And I spoke to my dad. I spoke to my dad on the phone and he was just like, Joann, you can leave the kids with me. And it just never even occurred to me that my dad lives about an hour and a half away and he's retired and he has no qualms about staying with my kids if I need him for some reason.

[00:14:57] So ask for help. And the other thing is you have to put yourself first. Parents love their children and they're going to take care of their kids regardless. But you know, I learned when I was pregnant that they're also parasites. They will get from you what they need. If you're not taking enough calcium, they will take it from your bones.

[00:15:18] So, your children will take what you need, but you need to take care of yourself, and you need to be purposeful about seeking your happiness and you need to, you know, I go to the gym and when I go there, I am just like, you know what? I'm going to the sauna, to the sauna for 10 minutes so that I can meditate a little bit so that I can focus, and think about what I wanna accomplish today.

[00:15:43] And those are things that I need to do to help myself. It's the most important thing is to take care of yourself. I listen to a lot of motivational things, and that's not something I used to do, but I'm constantly getting that reinforcement of you can do what you want, put it out into the world, it will come to you.

[00:16:04] So I'm completely bought in that my YouTube channel is gonna be super successful. I'm gonna be able to leave my job and pursue this with my children full-time, and eventually my husband's gonna come around, and he's gonna start being in the videos too. So I'm not even concerned about it because this is gonna work out.

[00:16:22] Christy Rutherford: So, hashtag children of Parasites is hell a lot, but it's true, it's true. Your kids will take, like, you know what I talked about at the Atlanta event. You can't be mad that somebody is crossing a boundary that you never created, or shared. Does that make sense? Kids, they want it all and they want it all from mom.

[00:16:41] So talk about putting yourself first, because had you learn how to put yourself first, because every time I, you know, when we talk, and because you're on the other side of it, women always think you don't understand. I have this, you don't get it. And I'm like, you don't understand. I used to be worse than you.

[00:17:02] So, it's easy to say put yourself first, but had you been putting yourself first before we got on a call, I wouldn't have called you crazy. So I wanna back it up just a little bit more because I want to give women some actionable stuff on this call because now you're like, yeah, of course. Put yourself first.

[00:17:18] Like what? Why would you not do that? Where I think three months ago, where we're, I think you're like 90 what? 1920 days in the process? What does that mean? Right? I want to get like real elementary to women who are stressed out, got smoke coming outta your heads. Like, what does put yourself mean and how can a busy mom, wife, you know, leader, do that?

[00:17:42] Joann Pollard: You know, I think that a lot of the things that I'm doing now are not new. They're not things that I've not heard before. It's just about applying it, you know, go to the gym, work out, have a alone time. I lock the door and send my kids out of the room and tell them Mommy needs an hour.

[00:18:02] I wanna read my book. You know, I wanna go to Zumba and my gym has a daycare, so I'll take them with me. And, you know, on Saturdays we have a nice pool at my gym. So I tell them, all right, we're gonna go to the gym. And I can leave them in the daycare for two hours. So I'm gonna work out, I'm going to go to the sauna, I'm gonna take a shower.

[00:18:25] I'm going to make myself human again, and then I'm gonna come get you and we'll go to the pool. So they're just like, bet, let's do that. I wanna go swimming. And they leave me alone and they let me do what I need to do for me because they're gonna get something out of it later. And the thing is that, Because I've invested in myself, I'm happy to spend time with them.

[00:18:47] Now. I wanna see my kids and I wanna play with them, as opposed to before where it's just like, I'm angry, I'm tired, I don't want to see you guys right now. Leave me alone. And, I don't have to be that way as a parent because I'm pouring into myself.

[00:19:07] Christy Rutherford: Yes. Hallelujah. Cuz you used to be angry. Which is amazing.

[00:19:10] Since you said it, I'm just gonna jump right, jump right in there. Because I'm laughing. As you were saying, you were like, yeah, I go to the gym, I take the kids and drop them off at the daycare that's already available. I work out, I go sit in the sauna. I take a great shower like, and for people who are stressed out and moms who are stressed out, these are like basic things that you need.

[00:19:35] But you don't give yourself permission to do because you're pouring into the kids and you're giving them everything, and you're depleted and bitter, and you're not being who they want to be. You know? Or actually it's who they wanna be because you're producing your fruit. What? Because you talked about the coaching, so there's accountability, right?

[00:19:51] So what was the cuz I don't know if you initially started out doing the habits or if we had to grind on you a little bit. So how hard was it to implement it and talk about the accountability piece you know, with your coach on that or take care of yourself.

[00:20:07] Joann Pollard: Well, you dragged so many people through the mud that I didn't wanna be one of those people that you dragged.

[00:20:11] I mean, that's pretty much the gist of it. And I don't think that you ever really got on me too badly about the things that I was doing, you know? So I just, some of the things I still work at, I struggle with the affirmations. I constantly have to remind myself. But I think that what makes it easier for me is when I make other people do these things.

[00:20:36] So, my sister, she graduated from medical school during the pandemic and she's had these mediocre jobs because she went to school out of the country. So she has to take this test called the U S M L E in order to practice medicine here. But in the meantime, she had these little jobs that people who don't have the level of education and intelligence that she has are doing.

[00:21:01] So I had to sit down with her and tell her, no ma'am, we need to upgrade your life. You are a rockstar. We need to make sure that you're upgrading your life, that you're not living that ramen lifestyle. And so she and I are working through this right now as well, because in reaffirming for her how phenomenal she is, it reminds me how phenomenal I am too.

[00:21:32] Christy Rutherford: So now you're able to give from a place of wholeness and not, because typically you will share stories about the struggle.

[00:21:43] We come here, we struggle. And you're like, no, we don't have to. You don't have to. Now let's go get this money.

[00:21:51] Joann Pollard: Right. And you know, the first day that I was telling her all of that, the next day she called me, she was crying because nobody had told her these things before.

[00:22:00] So I was shocked that she didn't see it, but sometimes when you see it in somebody else, then you're just like, oh, that's what I was doing too. I wasn't believing in my own greatness. And that's a problem because I'm a queen and I need to remind myself of that.

[00:22:21] Christy Rutherford: Okay, queen, I see you. This is so good, you be like, I just, it's so good. So let's talk about the group, because I talked to women who, like, somebody asked me yesterday, do you do one-on-one? No, I refuse. Right? I like people. I used to do one-on-one. Y'all should have caught me three years ago.

[00:22:41] But there is so much power and magic in a group, so tell the women, you know, what has that experience been like? Because you just rob it on the line talking about the Fab Five. So what does that meant fo you?

[00:22:55] Joann Pollard: Yes. Yes. The Fab five. So, it's the same thing that happened with my sister that you have these amazing, incredible women who are experiencing similar things that you're experiencing, that they're not being valued the way that they should, and they don't necessarily see it.

[00:23:17] So, it's that same reinforcement of seeing people going through what you're going through maybe in a slightly different way, and you see it and you're just like, what are you talking about? You're so amazing. I can't believe that you're dealing with this situation. And then once again, you look at yourself and say, oh yeah, me too.

[00:23:40] Christy Rutherford: Yeah, that's good because it's so hard over time to remember how great you are when life has choked you out, right? And when you see other women, they're doing the exact same things that you do. You're like, wait, it can't be six great women and one loser in the room, and the loser, me and me.

[00:24:01] You be like, okay, so it's six bad asses rockstar women in here. I must be beside them. And you're looking at them forgetting who they are, and you're like, wait, am I doing that? Yes, girl. Yes. You're all great. And once you remember that, then you know, the magic happens.

[00:24:19] Joann Pollard: But there's also the positive reinforcement, right? We have met on our own just because, you know, somebody's like, I'm having a hard day today, or, you know, I've been having a bad couple of weeks, and then we get together and share stories and encourage one another and reinforce those lessons and remind each other that we're all queens and then we can get back on the wagon.

[00:24:43] We're like, okay, I needed that. I needed that, that reminder, and I'm not doing this by myself. I'm not trying to figure it out all alone. All right, let's get back on track.

[00:24:56] Christy Rutherford: Yeah. Who is your coach? Was it Raquel or Cathy? How am I forgetting it.

[00:25:00] Joann Pollard: Monique, and then you.

[00:25:02] Christy Rutherford: Okay. Oh yeah. I drug all y'all. So, when it comes to having you know, this is a different type of friendship. Does that make sense? Where you can actually be vulnerable and be like, I need something not from the Feel Sorry for me Cup, but I need you to remind me how great I am Cup.

[00:25:26] Did you have those relationships before and were they as, I mean, you know, was that a part of your conversation? Because typically when we have conversations, you know, always say the people who you're friends that agree with the limited perspective that you have of yourself right now are your greatest enemies.

[00:25:42] Right? Like, go ahead.

[00:25:43] Joann Pollard: Yeah. I do have friends who build me up, and reinforce me, but I think that a lot of times they also support my craziness, and that focus is, more on the negative than the positive. So, for example, if I am commiserating with someone about how I didn't get the promotion or I'm not getting paid enough, they're just like, yeah, yeah, you're not getting paid enough, you know, that's the focus, right?

[00:26:13] It's you're so much better than that. I can't believe that they're not doing this for you. So, it's a negative tone, right? It's not the, well, what are we doing about making you focus on your purpose. You know, don't worry about the job. The job is the job.

[00:26:32] You know, my job is fine, right? But I've shifted even the way I think about my job, my job right now is financing my side hustle. So I'm not pressed about the promotion or the more money, or my bonus wasn't what I wanted it to be. Those things are still there, but I'm not as concerned about it as I was four months ago, six months ago.

[00:27:02] Christy Rutherford: So I wanna dig too deep into that cuz your employers are on here. Well, you love your job. Let's clap on. But the thing about it is, you know how do I say this? Women who show up, we make our jobs, our everything. And then we're bitter at work. They don't want that like Right. They want the better part of you to show up on the Zoom calls or to show up.

[00:27:28] You know, in the office. And yeah, if you want to create a YouTube channel to be able to go, and pursue your passion project, then great, go do that and show up at work and be happy and not be resentful and bitter. You wanna go to the pool? Great. You wanna go take a shower? Amazing. Like, come show up and give us the greater part of who you are.

[00:27:50] And it is not that we're loyal to a fault, but we're loyal to our detriment because we make our jobs everything. And then when it starts to act crazy, we feel like we have nothing. And it's like, no, they're not supposed to be at everything. The job has their part over here. Family, you have this part, and then family has this part.

[00:28:08] So what has the you know, People always say work-life balance. Balance is impossible. I'm like, it's only impossible to the people who ain't learned it. So stop saying that work-life balance isn't possible. It's possible, but it is not possible for you. So what are your thoughts around work-life balance?

[00:28:26] Joann Pollard: So the main thought that I have right now is, consistent with the conversation we've had about boundaries. I was that person who was involved in all of the ERGs, doing all of the events, having multiple roles, and seeing people who weren't doing that work, getting promoted ahead of myself when this is supposed to be a priority for the company, right?

[00:28:53] And I'm doing this work, and if it were really a priority, then, you'd be promoting me and paying me, right? So for me it's, about saying no. I said no, earlier this week, somebody wasn't happy about it, but I'm sorry, that's my boundary right now. I can't continue to give to this space when I need to focus on other things right now.

[00:29:17] My family is more important right now. My side hustle is more important right now, not than getting my job done. Not more important than continuing to be a rockstar at work. Those are the things that I have to do to keep my employment right, but the extra things, I just don't have time for it right now.

[00:29:42] Christy Rutherford: You know what's interesting? I had, it was one of your monthly counterparts. Because I'm not for, I did it. Let's be clear. I did it. I raised my hand for every volunteer collateral, every B, and I wanted the big things that you volunteer to take up all of your time while I'm working out 80 hours a week, like I wanted the big collaterals and I was sitting on the D N I committee and I was working on the D N I projects and I was mentoring all the black officers and all this other kind of stuff, the equivalent to your ERGs.

[00:30:13] And and that was exhausting, and I'm tired, I'm crazy, I'm bitter, I'm burning out. That's not adding to my job. And then I got the guy who's working 35 hours a week and I'm working 80 and I'm mad at him. Hello. Right? So one of your counterparts now free. Because once you become free, now you start to be like, I ain't doing that.

[00:30:36] Now I wanna do that no more. How does me investing my time in this going to yield a result? And if it is not, then I'm not gonna do it. And so she was like, Christy, I wanna do the DNI, it's important to our job. It gets me in front of senior leadership. I said, did your boss volunteer for DNI. She was like, no.

[00:30:53] I said, okay. So what has this year of exhaustion gotten you? She said, a reduced number on my performance review. Right. Own your job. So you're out here volunteering to D N I because it's important to the company. If it was important to the company, they would pay somebody to come do it, as opposed to you volunteering and this year not only got you exhausted and not spending time with your family, you got a lower rating on your performance review.

[00:31:19] And I'm gonna say this publicly, maybe I should, I'll save this while we ain't on your interview, Joann to save. I'm gonna do a video about DNI. So anyway, keep me back on track and be like, I ain't gonna go down that rabbit hole. But here's the thing, right? It's like once we're doing these things that are passion projects for our jobs to get in front of the senior leadership, but we have no energy to be passionate with our kids, and the people that we care about.

[00:31:46] So shifting that priority, you're like, yeah, I'm not doing that no more. I want to go spend time with my kids. I like y'all though. I'm not saying that it's not important, but this is more important. What are your thoughts on, you know, on how you now bucket your priorities?

[00:32:04] Joann Pollard: You know, I still struggle with it sometimes. I have traditionally been the person that always says yes, that they can always come to me. But I think it's important. I think that I, you know, you see the results in your life, right? I am happier for it, so I have to continue to seek those things that make me happy.

[00:32:25] And they can be small things. They can be, you know, playing a board game with my kids makes me more happy than going to an event after hours at work to help support the culture and the community. I don't really wanna do that right now. I wanna go play a game with my kids. And I see that, that makes me happy.

[00:32:47] It makes my kids happy, it makes my home happier. And so therefore, I wanna continue to do those things. And so, that reinforcement that you're getting, that's what makes it easier to truly prioritize. And to your point, you know, seeing the effects, the impacts. Sometimes companies say that these things are important, but then there are other things that they do or do not do.

[00:33:11] That show you that it's not really important.

[00:33:16] Christy Rutherford: So let's talk about seeking happiness, right? And you know, I say either you're seeking happiness or you're allowed misery. So now because you're seeking things that make you happy, which make you happy. Back in the day, you were just allowing whatever circumstances to, you know, come into your life and now you're miserable.

[00:33:40] You're not that happy. You look, you know, we were all used to be a little crazy. You look crazy because you're not, because you're being stretched thin. And being a mom of young kids who's married, who has a job, who's like, you're expected to be stressed thin, and you have these reinforcing articles and studies that say, yes, yes, you're supposed to be stressed out. You're supposed to be burning out.

[00:34:02] And now you're like, no, I'm gonna take charge of this. Now you're actually seeking things that make you happy. So what is that mindset shift like? Because that's a complete, that's a lifestyle.

[00:34:13] Joann Pollard: Oh man, it's hard to describe the difference. One thing that I'll tell you that happened in April, so my family, my extended family, we haven't seen each other in two years because of the pandemic. So we had a family reunion and I drove an hour and a half to meet up with the rest of my family, my brothers, my sister, my mom and dad were there.

[00:34:43] My cousins on my dad's side. They were all there. My aunts, uncles, everybody. Everybody was there that we hadn't seen in a couple of years. And we just had such a good time. And, you know, my sister did a lot of the planning and there was a bunch of trivia, family trivia, things like that.

[00:35:03] We learned about the family history, things that we didn't know. We played games. And when I was driving home, I was just like, wow, I didn't even know I needed that, but I did. And so, you know, we think about the things that bring us joy and sometimes the things that we think are gonna bring us joy, you know, like the when I get the car, when I get the house, when I get the promotion, those are the things that are gonna make me happy, and that's when I can start living my life.

[00:35:36] And that's just not the case at all. When you start being deliberate about finding things that make you happy and you realize, I don't need any money for this.

[00:35:47] I mean, I need a gas money to drive to Tampa. But that's it, you know, those are the things that made me happy. Seeing my kids, playing with their cousins. That is what made me happy. I mean, I'm not gonna turn away a lakefront property in a boat, but I don't need that to be happy. I can be happy right now. I can be happy today, and that is the shift.

[00:36:15] Christy Rutherford: Ooh, that's so good. That's so good. All right. Let's talk about being present, because you could have done that in April. Had you not done the work, you would've been stressed out. Like what would've been the difference in the experience? Had you gone into April as your January self? Versus now, because you're in the moment, you can feel the joy, you can feel the happiness, you can feel the love from your family, which everybody's family's dysfunctional, right?

[00:36:45] Like you can see, you can stop long enough to see your, your kids playing with their cousins. So tell me the difference of what January Joann would've done versus the experience of the April Joann who learned how to make herself a priority.

[00:37:00] Joann Pollard: Okay. So I almost died getting to that family reunion.

[00:37:04] Okay. I was listening to some of those motivational talks Eckhart Tole to be exact, and I ran out of gas on the highway. I was just like, oh my God, I'm freaking out. My car is stalled. Fortunately, there was bumper to bumper traffic, so when I ran out of gas, everybody was already stopped, so I didn't get into an accident or anything, and so I called 9 1 1.

[00:37:33] People came out, they gave me gas, so very kind man, and his child moved my car from the middle of the highway. I think that January, Joann would've been so discombobulated by that experience. I might have turned around and gone home. You know, I would've been so stressed out about all of that, that by the time I got to the event, I don't know that I would've been able to truly enjoy myself because I would've still been in that moment.

[00:38:11] That's one of the main differences. Just, you know, I actually even shifted my mentality at that moment because instead of being like, oh my gosh, I can't believe this happened. I'm so stressed out, da da, da, da, da. I was so grateful. I was in a space of gratitude because I didn't get into an accident. My children were not hurt.

[00:38:31] I had this kind gentleman and his son who pulled me off the highway, and they didn't have to do that. I was extraordinarily grateful for that. I was grateful that the man came and gave me a gallon of gas, and that was a free service from the Florida Highway Patrol. Thank you. Florida Highway Patrol.

[00:38:49] I was just sitting in so much gratitude and positivity from the way everything played out, that I didn't have the space to be angry or nervous or anxious or, you know, desiring of going home or anything like that. It took me three hours to get to Tampa from Orlando, but once I got there, everything was great.

[00:39:11] Christy Rutherford: What's interesting is I'm glad you shared the highlight reel first, and then you backed up. I was like, wait, where's this story gonna go? Right,wait, oh, you experienced H E L L before you got there, but you wouldn't have known, knowing how stressed out women, you would've gone home.

[00:39:36] Joann Pollard: Yeah. Cause I was halfway there. I could have gone the 45 minutes home, or the 45 minutes the rest of the way.

[00:39:45] Christy Rutherford: And if you would've gone, you would've complained about it the whole time and found sympathizers. That's so good. All right, so before we close, we got another five minutes. I got one more question.

[00:39:58] What advice, you know, because that right there. Managing and being grateful even in the chaos. You showed up at the event and you had a great time, and then you came back home. So what's one thing that women can do to shift in the, because you're always gonna have a crisis, you're a mom, always.

[00:40:24] What's one piece of advice or one thing that women can do to be able to make that small shift in mindset from, you know, being in a crisis to like, you know, going into gratitude?

[00:40:35] Joann Pollard: I would say to get into the habit of gratitude, one of the things that I try to do with my kids is that every day we talk about three things we were grateful for, for that day, and so once it becomes a habit, it was really easy to think about the things I was grateful for because it's something that I try to do anyway.

[00:40:57] So you know, when you think of three things that you're grateful for throughout the entire day. You're just like, okay, what's happening right now? Cause I have to remember this for tonight, when we start talking about gratitude. So it just becomes kind of this ingrained habit that you have where you're constantly thinking about the positive and the good things in your life and the things that you wanna share with your family later in the evening.

[00:41:22] Christy Rutherford: Okay, so talk to us about your YouTube channel right quick.

[00:41:26] Joann Pollard: Yeah, I'd love to. So one of the things that we did a lot during the pandemic is that we were home sequestered like everybody else. So we as a family decided that we were gonna have family time every day at eight o'clock. We played our board games, we played video games, we did arts and crafts and different activities.

[00:41:47] And my husband manages a Discord channel, so he would post some of the things that we were doing, and his friends were just always like, how do you guys think of stuff to do with your kids? And so, we realized that not everybody knows how to connect with their children. They don't always know how to have activities beyond plop them in front of the TV or a screen or or sign them up for organized sports, which is great.

[00:42:13] Organized sports are fantastic, but that connection, and being truly present in your kids' lives that doesn't happen. Not everybody knows how to do that. So I was just like, you know what? We should start a YouTube channel so that we can help people to do that. We can help people learn how to connect with their elementary school aged children,and you know, and through that and teach them good sportsmanship and, you know, because my five year old still has a fit every once in a while when he loses. So, you teach them those life skills at the same time that you talk to them and you engage with them.

[00:42:52] So, the channel is called Finding Fun and I'm still editing that first video but hopefully I should have it launched by this weekend.

[00:43:01] I'm gonna put that out into the world so that I commit to that. This weekend I'm posting my first video.

[00:43:10] Christy Rutherford: So the channel is called Finding Fun? All right. So y'all look out for that. It's gonna be great.

[00:43:15] Joann Pollard: Thank you.

[00:43:16] Christy Rutherford: So what advice do you have for women who are on the fence and they're wondering whether or not they should work with us and our team? What advice do you have for them?

[00:43:25] Joann Pollard: You know, I would say that a lot of the things that you reinforce with us. Isn't necessarily stuff you've never heard before. It's not necessarily rocket science, but there's something about doing it with a group. There's something about having the accountability. There's something about knowing that you're gonna beat us over the head that makes us start applying those practices.

[00:43:48] And it's just a benefit to you, right? It's all about learning the skills. To be happy and then putting yourself into a receiving mode so that you can start getting all of the beauty out of life.

[00:44:07] Christy Rutherford: I had to show all your sisters o over here congratulating you. So let's go back to this beating people in the head thing. Dana said Dana put up a post and was like this is my coach. She's great. She for everybody. So...

[00:44:25] Joann Pollard: I mean, that's true. Dana's not wrong. I am for everyone around the world who's ready to come and do some work, and change.

[00:44:37] Christy Rutherford: So what, you know, because for outsiders looking in, like when you say, I ain't want to get drug through the mud. Like, what does that, you know, I ain't gotta necessarily say, what does that look like? But do y'all need it? Like, what's that effective? That's really the question.

[00:44:56] Joann Pollard: Listen, I have no problem learning from others' experiences. So seeing you drag other people through the mud was enough incentive for me to know that I didn't need or want that. I'm a rules follower, Christy. I was gonna do what I was supposed to do.

[00:45:12] Christy Rutherford: I know, and the thing about it is, you know, I want, I want y'all to get the experience that y'all invested in. You know, some women are, I deal with Lioneses and Queens. Like, what do y'all want from me? So, all right, so you can join me at my upcoming one day event, how to calculate your value in the Market. Let me teach you five ways to add $50,000 to your salary in the next 90 days.

[00:45:35] So go to LevelUpWithChristy.com. You know, join us, get on my email list. You know, you're gonna get a replay of this video and why everybody laughing. They all know. So you know, you're gonna get replayed to the video. But, you know, I would love to share insight because the thing about it is we already have the capacity to be able to make more money, but I think at the end of the day, it's like, what's the point of making more money if you're crazy?

[00:46:03] you know, what's the point of making more money if you don't have the capacity to be able to be present with your kids and your family? What's the point of making more money if you're sick? But we want our money too, right? But we can also not just seek the money, quote unquote, from our jobs. I believe that we deserve and we have the capacity to make more money.

[00:46:24] Maybe it's gonna be in a passion project where you keep your job, your job is gonna be your job, and then you seek other places, but anyway, LevelUpWithChristy.com.

[00:46:32] So Joann, thank you so much for joining us. I appreciate everybody who showed up all of the Vision Finder Masterclass tribe that showed up to support they sister on here, and and I appreciate everybody else who showed up.

[00:46:45] So everyone, take care. Have a great weekend. God bless.

[00:46:48] Joann Pollard: Bye everyone. Thank you.

[00:46:50] Narrator: Thank you for joining us. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast and leave us a review if you love this episode, follow Christy on Instagram and LinkedIn, and don't forget to get her free gift by texting, "changenow, all one word. Again, "changenow" to 6 6 8 6 6. Until next time, go out and win bigger.