Hey there, thanks for joining us today. In today's episode, we're talking about how to know yourself better in order to thrive as a teacher.

We start our episodes with a morning message, just like we used to do at morning meeting in our classrooms. This week's morning message is describe teaching in three words. Emily, give us some good three words. Well, many words immediately come to mind. But I went with intense, impactful and ever-changing. No lies detected.

How about you Heidi, what are your three words? Well, I'm going to cheat and I'm going to use some hyphenated words. So my three are heart-stretching, life-upending and tomorrow-building. Yes. That's good. I like it.

We have some awesome responses from our community as well. Lauren said exhausting, rewarding and empowering. Yes. Amber said fulfilling exhausting. Are you hearing a theme here? And controversial, which unfortunately, I think is becoming more and more true.

Naomi said exhausting. hilarious and nonstop. You could turn this into a drinking game. Angela said I touched puke. And Angela, so did I and I won't share any more details than that. But that is also teaching three words I could say

Joanne said challenging, fulfilling and exhausting. April said lifestyle of learning Oh turned into a phrase. Yes, I like that. Anna said so much fun. And she mentioned it's her 21st year of teaching this year. So it's great to hear her still described teaching as so much fun after so many years. Yeah, that's really inspiring.

Amy said from the heart. And Mara said not just teaching, which I thought was very insightful. Yes, very true. We'd love to hear your three words to describe teaching over in our Teacher Approved Facebook group.

It's time for the resource of the week, our word family worksheets. Set the stage for reading success with this collection of printable word work activities that gives students practice reading and writing words. Each set provides students with multiple opportunities to develop a deep understanding of an essential word family.

Knowing these word family chunks enables students to quickly read and spell hundreds of words. So this bundle is over 1000 pages. And it contains sets for over 65 common word families. And then each set has over 15 pages of practice for each word family. So you're getting a lot of practice. And you can just pick and choose the pages that you need. I don't think most people need all of these for every word family. But there's a lot of great options to pick from.

And every page includes clear directions and examples to guide students to complete an activity that gets them thinking about and using a common word family. You can find a link to the word family worksheets mega bundle at the link in our show notes.

We all know that teaching is an incredibly challenging career at times. Most of the teachers we talk to right now are overwhelmed and burned out. In today's episode, we're going to talk about something you can do right now to not just survive your days as a teacher, but hopefully truly thrive.

That's right, today we are going to talk about how to thrive by knowing yourself better. Now, just get this clear up front. We are both huge suckers for personality framework. We love the Enneagram. Yeah, we're both ones. No surprise. And we definitely feel like we have learned a lot about ourselves from the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. We're both INFJ.

But there is one framework that we feel has helped us know ourselves and others better than any other and that is Gretchen Reubins 4 tendencies.

The four tendencies are much less known than the other big frameworks, I think, but I definitely feel that I have gained more insight from it than any of the other frameworks out there. Heidi, can you break down the four tendencies for us?

Of course. So We are big fans of Gretchen Rubin. You might know her from her long running podcast Happier, also hosted by two sisters. Yes, I love it. Yeah. Or from her books like The Happiness Project or Better Than Before, which are both excellent. Yes.

She also has a book called The Four Tendencies where she lays out how our responses to expectations impact our lives in major ways. The four tendencies is a framework for understanding how you respond to both inner and outer expectations. So inner expectations are things you expect of yourself like your personal resolutions and goals. Outer expectations are placed on you by other people like deadlines and assignments.

If you want to know what tendency you are, definitely keep listening because you may recognize yourself in the descriptions we're about to share. And at the end, we'll have a tip to help you discover more about your tendency as well.

The four types of tendencies are upholder, questioner, obliger ,and rebel.

Why don't you kick us off by telling us about upholders Emily. Upholders respond easily to outer and inner expectations. So if you're an upholder, you're probably really good at following guidelines and schedules. But you might find it challenging to be flexible when things don't go according to plan.

So Gretchen kind of wrote a catchphrase for each of the tendencies and the one for upholders is: Discipline is my freedom. And spoiler alert, we're both upholders.

Flexibility is definitely not a trait I think others would describe to me. And a challenge for me as an upholder is I often feel compelled to follow arbitrary rules, even when I know it would make more sense not to, my brain is saying that is a dumb rule, but I'm like, I gotta do it, though. And I find I tip a little to the obligers side, where I end up valuing the outer expectations of others more than my inner expectations at times.

Well, as a one and your sister I struggled with flexibility as well. So I just I was thinking about this exactly last night, I had a light bulb go out in my bathroom. And that light fixture has four bulbs. And as I was like, you know, getting it all taken care of, and I was just lamenting that now that one bulb had gone out, right, the other three were probably going to burn out soon. And I'm gonna have to get the ladder out three more times, and it's gonna be such a hassle.

Like just like grumbling about this as I'm getting ready for bed at night. And then I realized, like, I'm allowed to replace all of the bulbs at once. But like no joke, I genuinely have guilt about it. Like I feel so guilty, over breaking the rule that you don't replace a light bulb till it burns out.

I totally get it though. I just started following someone on Instagram who says all the time that the rules are fake, and I think I need that tattooed on my arm. The rules are, the rules are fake.

But on the flip side of being an upholder, one thing I like about myself is that I am always true to what I feel is right. If I commit to something I can almost always see it through. I'm pretty reliable. Yes, I feel like that's one of my strong points is that I always come through on my commitments to people, which is good since we run a business together. Thank heavens, we've got that going for us.

So Heidi, why don't you tell us about the second tendency now, questioners. So questioners, as their name suggests, question all expectations. They can meet expectations, but they kind of have to question them first. They need a logical reason for why an expectation matters. And they really dislike arbitrary rules.

But if they can see the value in an expectation, then they can accept it. One of their strengths is that they do well analyzing information and making decisions. I think one of the strengths of questioners is that they don't get sucked into following outer expectations that aren't important. Right, the rules are made up and they they get that.

Yeah, as an upholder, I struggle to say no to any expectation even when it doesn't make sense. But questioners can more easily ignore those expectations. And I kind of am jealous of that. I wish I could do that more easily. And that's why the catchphrase for questioners is: all comply if you convince me why. I love that.

So that brings us to the third tendency. Emily, can you tell us about obligers? Obligers are people who can easily meet outer expectations, but they struggle to meet their inner expectations. They may have a hard time saying no to requests from others which can lead to burnout and exhaustion.

I think that if you are an obliger learning that about yourself, can be so enlightening. And apparently obliger's the most common tendency as well, so this will apply to a lot of people.

One of the strengths of obligers is that they're reliable. If they say they will do something they're very likely to do it. Obligers are often easy to work with and they're great to have on your team. And the catchphrase for obligers is: you can count on me, and I'm counting on you to count on me.

But obligers do tend to struggle at meeting their inner expectations or their personal goals without some kind of external accountability. The good news about that, though, is that there are a lot of ways to add in that accountability to help obligers with their inner expectations.

We've talked here on the podcast about some of those strategies like giving a gift to your future self, that can really help obligers meet their goals by being accountable to yourself in the future.

Okay, so tell us about the last tendencies rebels. So rebels resist all expectations, inner and outer, and like which you might have guessed from the name. If you are a rebel, you might value your independence and creativity, but find it hard to follow strict guidelines or routines. That's why the catch phrase for rebels is: you can't make me and neither can I.

It can be difficult for rebels to work with others, they can feel a lot of joy in disregarding rules, and rebels like to prove people wrong. Rebels are not a very common tendency. But there are some really amazing people with this tendency. So if you realize that this sounds like you, please don't panic. Rebels often succeed at proving everyone wrong and forging new paths, as long as they can do it in their own way.

And the advice that works for other tendencies doesn't work so well for rebels, but they can often meet expectations by thinking of their core values and how meeting an expectation will help them live as their authentic self.

There isn't one good tendency or one bad tendency, and that's a really important point to make. I think it would be easy to think that upholders the goal and rebel is the one to be avoided. But as we've mentioned, each tendency has its own benefits and challenges.

Yeah, and as Gretchen Rubin teaches, we're not learning about our tendencies in order to try and change them. Honestly, I don't even think it's possible to change your tendency. Our goal with learning our tendencies is to know ourselves better so that we can set ourselves up to thrive more.

So what does all of this talking about tendencies and expectations have to do with teaching? Well, a lot. For starters, knowing yourself better just helps you thrive more as a human being. And we all know that taking care of yourself always benefits you in your role as a teacher as well.

And knowing your tenancy can help you understand your strengths and weaknesses as a teacher so you can set yourself up for success. If you're an upholder, setting clear goals and deadlines for yourself can help you stay on track. Upholders don't just magically meet all expectations, right? I wish. It still takes being aware and making concrete plans to guide your progress.

In the classroom. That looks like having detailed plans on your schedule so your teaching goals don't fall by the wayside. Oh, yeah. If it's not in the plan book, it's not happening. It's also making deadlines for yourself so that something that could get done whenever actually does get done like looking at you grading papers.

If you're a questioner, seeking out more information and justification for tasks can help you feel more motivated. When confronted with an expectation that doesn't seem important to you, but you have to do it anyway as a teacher, it can help a questioner to look for a reason that expectation matters to them.

Sometimes that can even be realizing that you don't want to do something like giving a certain assessment because you don't feel that it's valuable. But reminding yourself that you have guidelines as a teacher that you are required to follow. And so you will do it because you care about your job.

If you are in obliger, learning how to use external accountability can be a game changer when it comes to meeting your goals. Want to get yourself to read that new teacher development book that just came out but you keep putting off? Why don't you invite some friends to read it with you and you can have a book club discussion. There are a lot of strategies like that that work for obligers.

And obligers don't forget that setting boundaries and learning to say no when needed can help you avoid burnout. I think this is especially important for obliger teachers.

If you are a rebel, finding ways to express your creativity and independence, within the framework of your job as a teacher can help you feel more fulfilled. The environment of teaching might not feel conducive to a rebel, but the challenge of being true to themselves despite a job with a lot of rules and expectations can really be just what you need to thrive.

Now let's talk about your co workers. The four tendencies can really help you understand the people you work with. I think we all know what it's like to be scratching your head about a co worker who just doesn't make sense to you, think we've all been there.

And while it's impossible to know for sure or what someone's tendency is because we don't know their inner motivation, I think you can usually make an educated guess based on your interactions working with them at school.

So for example, if I know that my team member seems to be a questioner, I would be sure that you know, when I'm planning with them about a grade level decision, I come prepared with data from relevant research. Information will help the questioner be more comfortable accepting any expectations that may arise out of our discussion.

And if my team member is an obliger, I can offer to provide accountability to help them get things done, maybe we can do it together, or I can check in on them to help them stay on track. And also, if you have obliger teammates, I think it's important to not let them take on all of the tasks because they might be the first to volunteer Yes, we don't want to burn out our sweet obligers No way.

But knowing the four tendencies can help you understand your students as well. It's tricky for sure to know what a child's tendency is. But knowing more about the tendencies can help you spot certain behaviors and then have strategies for working with those behaviors.

For example, if you have a student that just box at every expectation, you can recognize that they may have a bit of a rebel tendency, so you can use strategies like information consequences choice with them. This is where you present the information, explain the consequence of that information, and then leave it up to them to decide to meet the expectation or live with the consequence, which is a great life lesson.

Understanding the four tendencies can help you be more self aware and effective as a teacher. By knowing your tendency, you can better manage your workload and improve your productivity. But I think in the larger picture, learning about a personality framework, whether that's the four tendencies or a different model, is really a way to be a more compassionate human.

It can give you insight into what others might need, and how those needs might be different than yours. It can provide tools for navigating tricky situations, it can offer a vocabulary for a perspective that you have never been able to articulate before. And recognizing what we need and what others need is what allows us to thrive as a more successful and fulfilled teacher.

Now let's talk about this week's teacher approved tip. Each week, we leave you with a small actionable tip that you can apply in your classroom today. This week's teacher approved tip is take the four tendencies quiz on gretchenrubin.com/quiz. This quiz is a great way to help you decide which tenancy best describes you.

Once you know your tenancy, you can use that information to find the most effective strategies to help you meet your goals. And then after you take the quiz, come share your tendency with us in our Teacher Approved Facebook group. We never get tired about talking about the four tendencies. And it's so helpful to hear how others use the knowledge about their tendency to thrive as a teacher.

To wrap up the show, we are sharing what we're giving extra credit to this week. Emily, what are you giving extra credit to? I'm giving extra credit to the Aveeno Repairing Hand Masks. I've never heard of them. So they come as a set of like disposable plastic gloves. And they have a layer of like, I don't know shea butter and moisturizers inside.

So you put on the gloves and you like kind of like tape them shut. And then I just put them up, keep them on for like a half an hour, 45 minutes while I like watch a show or something. And I am prone to really dry skin that cracks in the winter, which is kind of miserable. But I found if I do one of these hand masks once a week or so it makes a huge difference.

And I'll do them at night before bed. And then after I take them off, I rub in all of the lotion, serum stuff, and then I'll put a really heavy thick lotion on top to seal it all in and it really makes a big difference. And you can get them on Amazon and they're really cheap. Well, that sounds very luxurious. I know it doesn't make me feel very fancy.

What are you giving extra credit to this week Heidi? I am giving extra credit to the new TV show Not Dead Yet on ABC. It stars one of my favorites Gina Rodriguez as Nell. She is a broke newly single kind of a hot mess who is trying to restart her life. So she lands the only job she can find which is writing obituaries and she finds that it comes with some interesting side effects.

So we're only a few episodes in I think there's maybe been like five or six episodes so far. But I think it has the potential to be really cute and fun and it has a great supporting cast. There's CeCe from New Girl as her best friend and Dina from Superstore as her boss in a very different role.

I know I I've watched the first episode and I got a kick out of seeing Dina they're so different. But everyone please go watch this because I don't want the show to get canceled and all my faves get canceled.

Heidi has PTSD from all of her favorite shows. Thank you. I no joke have a list of like, shows that deserve better? As part of my grieving process. Don't let Not Dead Yet become one of those shows listeners, please, I'm counting on you. Are you an obliger?

That's it for today's episode. Use the 4 tendencies framework to help you thrive as a teacher. And don't forget our teacher approved tip to take the four tendencies quiz to discover which tendency you are.

If you enjoyed this episode, we would love if you shared it with a teacher friend who might enjoy it as well. It's the best way to help our show reach new listeners. And be sure to check out our show notes for links to anything we mentioned in this episode.