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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hi and welcome to the You world order showcase. Podcast I'm your host, Jill Hart. And with me today is Danielle young. She is all about helping women get out of the victim mindset after abuse or trauma, so that they can live a full, empowered, authentic life as someone who survived domestic violence, and was almost murdered by her abuser. She went through several years of healing.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: tried many different modalities, and became the person she needed on her healing journey, but didn't have welcome to the show. Jeff. Daniel, it's really great to have you here with us today.

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Danielle Young: Thank you, Joel. It's great to be here.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So tell us your story. That's pretty dramatic, but.

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Danielle Young: Yeah.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We went through so much trauma in your life.

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Danielle Young: Yeah.

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Danielle Young: So it started. I met him when I was 18 and he was 28.

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Danielle Young: I grew up very awkward. I was, you know, very tall. I was taller than everyone.

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Danielle Young: I did not date in school. No one was ever really interested in me, so I had, you know, some self-esteem issues.

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Danielle Young: and when he started showing interest in me, I thought, Oh, this is new! This is cool!

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Danielle Young: And there were red flags right off. The bat. I ignored them. You know I was 18. It was. I now refer to it as my rebellious experimental phase.

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Danielle Young: We started dating, and it it started out. Okay.

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Danielle Young: I was really just more infatuated with the fact that someone was paying attention to me.

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Danielle Young: And then that

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Danielle Young: sort of escalated. It started off with, you know, just simple, like throwing things and being jealous, and you know, being degrading

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Danielle Young: and demeaning. And you know didn't want me to go to my families. He started the isolation.

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Danielle Young: and then it just progressively got worse from there.

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Danielle Young: And one night my! I had a 3 week old baby at the time, and he came home

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Danielle Young: late, didn't know where he was the whole day, and I could tell something was up. He was an alcoholic, and I could tell he had been doing drugs. I didn't know what, but I just could.

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Danielle Young: I mean, his eyes were just black pools. I mean, they were just. It was scary.

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Danielle Young: and at that point I'm like, you know what I've had enough. And I stood up off the couch and he shoved me back down. And that's when the fight escalated, and

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Danielle Young: I don't remember everything.

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Danielle Young: I remember making it somehow to my mom's house with blood all over me and calling the police.

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Danielle Young: I've pieced together most of what happened that night.

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Danielle Young: I still don't remember leaving. I still don't remember how I got to my mom's, but I just remember sort of after I got to my mom's, and then.

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Danielle Young: you know, from there.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Visibility.

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Danielle Young: I did take the baby with me.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I I wouldn't, you know, no judgment if you didn't. Because I when you're in those kinds of situations, it's just like.

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Danielle Young: Yeah.

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Danielle Young: yeah, no, I I know that I had her with me. But don't ask me how I I really don't remember from. I remember waking up. I remember him choking me.

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Danielle Young: I remember him with a knife

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Danielle Young: And I remember waking up on the floor

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Danielle Young: looking up at the ceiling, and there was blood running down the wall. I don't. I don't know how it got there. I don't know if it was mine, if it was his. I have no idea.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Matthew.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Do you mind me asking you these questions? Maybe ask you that first.st Okay.

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Danielle Young: He didn't stab me. He did cut me

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Danielle Young: I did have cuts.

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Danielle Young: I don't remember getting those, but

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Danielle Young: I did remember having I was injured. So

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Danielle Young: I'm not sure if the blood I showed up on was was mine or was a combination of his.

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Danielle Young: I yeah, I don't know.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So then what happened? I'm on the edge of my seat.

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Danielle Young: So the police came, and I file the reports.

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Danielle Young: which was a. It was a joke. Honestly, the officer that came was like, Well, you know you're lucky to be alive like. Well, thank you. But I would like something to happen to him.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Protecting to serve on your door of your car, that you.

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Danielle Young: Right right.

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Danielle Young: And he just said, Well, I can maybe take a drive by

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Danielle Young: like a drive by, really, do you not see like. I have blood all over my shirt like, are you

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Danielle Young: like what I was just? I was floored, and that was it.

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Danielle Young: We went to court. I filed a domestic charge against him, and he got 26 weeks of anchor management classes and a $25 fine.

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Danielle Young: That was what my life was worth.

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Danielle Young: I mean it was such. It was such a joke, and you know, to be going through that.

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Danielle Young: and then have you know I was traumatized once being abused, and then traumatized a second time by going through the court system.

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Danielle Young: and then traumatized again, when I found out that that was his only punishment, and then to top that off, you know the cherry on top of it all was, we still had to do parenting classes together.

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Danielle Young: And I thought.

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Danielle Young: Wow, something needs to change. With this. I have a domestic violence suit against this man. They they would not give me a restraining order, because they said I wasn't in immediate danger, because I had already left at that point.

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Danielle Young: and I thought.

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Danielle Young: he's still driving by my house. He's still stalking me. He's still calling me in the middle of the night, I mean, he obviously knew where my mom lived. He knew where I was.

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Danielle Young: You know. I was living in constant fear I had no safety and security from the police, from our justice system. Nothing

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Danielle Young: which is typical. Unfortunately.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, it's horrible.

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Danielle Young: So from there

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Danielle Young: I spiraled down.

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Danielle Young: I I had no self-worth.

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Danielle Young: I thought, you know I'm completely unlovable.

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Danielle Young: I'm a burden.

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Danielle Young: No one is ever going to want me again. I'm going to be alone the rest of my life.

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Danielle Young: And I really did. I contemplated suicide.

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Danielle Young: I thought about giving my daughter up for adoption because I thought, I'm not fit to be her mother. I am such a mess, I am so

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Danielle Young: broken down I can't function, and I remember one night

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Danielle Young: she was about 11 weeks old and she was sleeping in her little playpen. We were in my mom's living room. That's where we were living.

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Danielle Young: and I remember just being awake because I couldn't sleep.

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Danielle Young: and it was the middle of the night, and she was sound asleep her little. She was laying on her back and her little arm above her head.

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Danielle Young: and I just remember looking at her, thinking she deserves better than this.

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Danielle Young: She needs me to wake up and

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Danielle Young: to do something with my life

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Danielle Young: like I cannot stay like this.

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Danielle Young: And then that was when the light bulb moment hit.

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Danielle Young: And I just said, Okay, enough is enough. I've got to get my life together.

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Danielle Young: And I I went through some some medical things right after I had her.

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Danielle Young: So, as soon as

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Danielle Young: you know I was better. From that I got a job full time. I went back to school full time or part time in the evening, so I worked full time during the day. I went to school at night.

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Danielle Young: put myself through college, and I was a mom and I just I knew

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Danielle Young: it was going to be hard.

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Danielle Young: I didn't know how hard.

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Danielle Young: but I knew that I needed to do it, and I needed to do it for both of us. I was not going to let him win.

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Danielle Young: so I eventually got my own place. I got my. I got my degree.

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Danielle Young: I remember the biggest thing was planning her 1st birthday party

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Danielle Young: by myself. I paid for it all. I arranged it all, and that was at that moment. That was the proudest thing I had ever done, you know, like I was able to do this on my own, and that really gave me the confidence that I needed to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and to keep going.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's just the resilience that you have in the determination to accomplish

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the things that you did accomplish.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, pretty amazing.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, it was just that mindset of. I cannot drop anchor here.

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Danielle Young: I don't want to be like this.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The not just for you, but for your daughter. You know

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I don't know how old she is now, but as she becomes older and

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: moves into adulthood. She will. She will remember the stories that you tell her

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: of your resilience, and that really does make a difference, and how their lives go.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, she's 24.

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Danielle Young: And she just recently found out what happened. I didn't want to tell her while she was growing up.

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Danielle Young: because I I wanted to shelter her from that. I wanted her to focus more on

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Danielle Young: who mom is today, who mom is encouraging me to be

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Danielle Young: and who she was becoming. I didn't want her to be burdened with what happened to me, and with that thought of this is her father, and you know I didn't want that for her.

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Danielle Young: I had that with my dad. My dad was in and out of my life until I was 6, and then he just disappeared.

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Danielle Young: So

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Danielle Young: I suffered because of that, and I did not want that for her. I knew what kind of a person my dad was.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Part of her life, our whole background.

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Danielle Young: No, I don't know where he is.

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Danielle Young: He.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You had to do the parenting classes. But then you kind of moved on.

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Danielle Young: It was more of I.

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Danielle Young: I was the one who said enough, and

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Danielle Young: I was legally. I was supposed to tell him where I was at all times.

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Danielle Young: I was supposed to tell him if I moved, if I, you know.

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Danielle Young: changed addresses or whatever, and I said, No, I'm not doing that.

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Danielle Young: And so I basically just blocked him out of our out of our lives. He eventually moved away.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hmm.

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Danielle Young: And even though he moved away I still never felt safe.

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Danielle Young: I still never felt like I was okay.

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Danielle Young: and the only reason I knew that he had moved away was because I was getting well. There was a child support order, but I was not getting any child support.

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Danielle Young: and the the I forget what it was called.

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Danielle Young: but the child support services told me, you know he

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Danielle Young: he had been arrested in Tennessee for selling illegal handguns.

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Danielle Young: and that's when I said, Okay, making my exit. So I left my hometown, moved across country and started a whole new life with my now husband.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Awesome. What a great story!

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Danielle Young: So.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Really do, have the the background for helping somebody else

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: step out in and step into their power and be their own hero of their story, and and not wallow in.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you know. Woe is me! I I know this.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I am always and I never, and they always, and they never.

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Danielle Young: Yeah.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Just so easy to fall into, especially with a newborn, because I mean on top of all of the things that you were experiencing, just the fact that you had given birth fairly recently is like, you've got all these hormones going through your mind, and you're not really sure about your ability to process thoughts.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Correctly. I speak. I've had 5 kids. So I.

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Danielle Young: So you get it, I get it.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Totally get it. It's like your brain shrinks when you're pregnant. And then it takes a while for those neurons to like.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Figure out where they're supposed to connect again.

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Danielle Young: Right? Yeah, you're kind of left in mental limbo for a while.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think they do that. So you could just like gaze at your little baby and fall in love.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Then you can work on getting your life back together.

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Danielle Young: And you don't realize how much sleep you're not getting.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hey?

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And maybe that contributes to the to the brain fog.

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Danielle Young: Oh, for sure. Yeah, for sure.

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Danielle Young: Oh, my goodness.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So you now provide coaching for people, and you have some special modalities that work really well for you that you you practice over the years. Wanna talk a little bit about that.

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Danielle Young: Sure. So yeah, I did try traditional therapy in the beginning, but I am very action oriented, as you could probably tell from my story. I don't like to be passive in my healing.

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Danielle Young: and for me, that's what therapy was. Now. It's a great, it's a great tool for those who it works, for

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Danielle Young: it just didn't work for me.

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Danielle Young: so I kind of switched from that to really searching for something, and a coworker of mine introduced me to Yoga.

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Danielle Young: and I was hooked.

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Danielle Young: My yoga mat was my safe space. It was the place where I could go. I could

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Danielle Young: actually just breathe. I could close my eyes. I felt peaceful. I was disconnected, or I was so disconnected before I would get on my mat.

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Danielle Young: and it was like, Oh, there's pieces of me that, you know, are coming back.

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Danielle Young: And it it was so liberating for me

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Danielle Young: to know that everything that I'd been through I could go through the poses, and you know I could do them.

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Danielle Young: I wasn't doing them correctly.

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Danielle Young: but it felt good to have that back in my body. You know I was reconnecting.

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Danielle Young: and there for a while my mat was my only safe place. It was the only place that I could come to to close my eyes.

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Danielle Young: I would try to meditate and close my eyes in different places, you know of my apartment, and I just couldn't. I would have to roll out my mat.

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Danielle Young: and just close my eyes and breathe.

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Danielle Young: So that really helped with my getting my nervous system back

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Danielle Young: into regulation, and, you know, really helped me become peaceful and calm

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Danielle Young: other things that I've tried. I'm really an advocate for Emdr. I just did that within the last couple of years, and I thought that I had healed pretty much most of everything that I'd been through.

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Danielle Young: No, Emdr really got to the heart and the root of some lingering stuff.

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Danielle Young: and that was a game changer.

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Danielle Young: Before that there was self inquiry, and

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Danielle Young: that was also transformational, that I teach that now

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Danielle Young: self inquiry is really, I like to use the analogy of like a boat on the water. So you see the boat floating on the water. Those are your emotions. Those are what you're feeling. Those are the things that you can see like. Okay, I'm angry right now, but you don't see what's below that. You don't see the anchor that's tied down and holding you in place. What self inquiry does? Is it kind of crawls down that anchor

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Danielle Young: and gets to the bottom of this thought like, I'm unlovable.

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Danielle Young: And it really dives in and helps you realize, oh, yeah, I've had this thought my whole life. It's just shown up in different ways in different places.

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Danielle Young: And wow, okay, I can see the connection here and now I can get rid of it. You know, I can recognize it, and I can toss it.

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Danielle Young: So that's why I really love self inquiry.

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Danielle Young: Other things that have worked Yoga Nidra. I'm now a yoga nidra facilitator.

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Danielle Young: The very 1st time I went to Yoga Nidra. We did a visualization about a well.

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Danielle Young: and it was basically you lead. She led me through. This visualization, was pulling things out of this well.

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Danielle Young: and the knife that my abuser had used came up out of the well.

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Danielle Young: And I thought, Okay, that came up to go. It came up to clear.

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Danielle Young: So Yoga Nidra is very transformative as well for me, and.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: He opened intro.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, Yoga, Nidra is a meditative type of Yoga. It's like yogic sleep. So like 1, 45 min session can equate to about 3 h of sleep, and it's just a

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Danielle Young: we go through some breathing.

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Danielle Young: some visualization, some affirmations, and it just integrates all in. While you are resting. You're in a resting state.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Like hyp-hypnosis.

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Danielle Young: No.

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Danielle Young: no, you're completely, you know. You're completely awake the whole time. You're just I mean, some people do fall asleep.

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Danielle Young: I don't.

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Danielle Young: You know I don't necessarily recommend it, but it is okay to fall asleep. But you are just integrating it all.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you want to tell people what Emdr is. I do actually know what it is, but I

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I know there are listeners out there that don't.

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Danielle Young: Yeah. So Emtr is a modality that uses.

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Danielle Young: Both halves of your brain.

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Danielle Young: and I always forget what the R. Stands for. So it's eye movement, desensitation, and something. I forget what the R stands for.

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Danielle Young: and it's eye movements while you're going through

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Danielle Young: like, for instance, my practitioner used words. She would have me repeat words back to her while she was.

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Danielle Young: you know, like follow my finger, and my eyes would move back and forth, and I would have to say these words, and it was like reprogramming my brain, using both sides.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Interesting how that some of these modalities that just seem like they're so simple are so effective.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.

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Danielle Young: Like that, you know. I'm just tapping on parts of my body.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, it. Repeating.

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Danielle Young: I know, and healing doesn't have to be hard.

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Danielle Young: It really doesn't. You know, it's it's about finding what works for you. And there's so much out there, and not everything is going to work for everybody.

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Danielle Young: you know. It's like therapy works for some people. It didn't work for me. Emdr might not work for someone. It worked great for me, you know there are. That's why I and I love that. There are so many things out there that we can just pick and choose from, because I encourage everyone. Hey, try, you know, like, just go try a few sessions, and if it works great, stick with it. If not.

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Danielle Young: toss it up. Find something else, you know. It's not a healing is definitely not a 1. Size fits all.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So many choices, and none of them are really complicated, or necessarily really all that expensive. When you consider the cost of going to your doctor, and maybe getting prescribed stuff that's going to also have effects on your physical being

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and shorten your life, because almost everything that you take that's pharmaceutical shortens your life

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: on some aspect or another. Which you know, if your life is already going to be much shorter, you probably want to take those drugs.

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Danielle Young: Yeah.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm not advocating that people not take the things that they are prescribed. But there, there are so many other options out there that really.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think taking prescription drugs is sometimes kind of a lazy way.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Sometimes you need them for like short periods of time. Like, if you're really depressed and suicidal. Then maybe you need something to help you like bridge that gap until you can find somebody or learn about some of these modalities that can help you, but

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: just slapping on that Band-aid and and hoping things are gonna get better rarely works in my experience.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, I think that you know medical intervention is is necessary in some cases like you said, I'll

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Danielle Young: what I believe, though, is healing forces you to be introspective.

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Danielle Young: And if you're not in a place where you can do that, then yeah, it's like you said being on medication. If it helps you get to that point.

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Danielle Young: then. Great.

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Danielle Young: you know, use it. But I think the issue now is so many people become reliant and dependent upon it.

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Danielle Young: Instead of

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Danielle Young: getting really to the issue, and if it is absolutely, medically necessary, then fine, there's absolutely no judgment or no shame there.

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Danielle Young: But you know this is healing is definitely not for the week. It's really not like. This is a journey, and they call it a journey for a reason. And if you need medical help to get you through it.

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Danielle Young: Go for it.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, but there are a lot of coaches around now, and you know

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you reach out to people and people can reach out to you. You've walked the walk, you've seen what works for you, and you do offer a consultation for people if they just want to see what you're all about, and you also offer a free guide 3 essential steps to reclaim your power. And we're not going to tell anybody what those steps are.

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Danielle Young: Don't have to go.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Order the thing, order the guy.

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Danielle Young: It's free.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's free, and and it can help you really

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: get centered, I think, is that's like the 1st step is like

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: making the decision to to make your life better. Then

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: then these 3 steps will help you

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: along that take the 1st 3 steps towards your healing journey.

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Danielle Young: Yeah.

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Danielle Young: yeah, my consultation call. It's absolutely free. We just hop on the phone. We just have a conversation. I I'm not pushy. I'm not salesy at all.

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Danielle Young: I really do want to get to know you what you're going through like where you are, where you want to be, and if I can help you get there. I don't accept everyone into my coaching program. If we are not the right fit, then I will tell you. You know, I want you to find the right fit.

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Danielle Young: So yeah, you can find all that on my website. You can schedule a call with me there.

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Danielle Young: The free guide is also there.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And we will put all the links in the show notes so they'll be able to find you.

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Danielle Young: Okay, yeah. And there's lots of information on my website as well.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes, you have a lot of information on your website.

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Danielle Young: I do?

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Really very thorough. I did want to ask you how you do your coaching, though, is it groups? Is it one on one? Is it a combination? How does that all that look.

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Danielle Young: It's 1 on one. And it's a 3 month program. So basically, we start off with understanding trauma and really digging into getting grounding and to getting grounded and nervous system regulation, because you can't heal if you're still in fight or flight.

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Danielle Young: you're not thinking rationally, you're not making rational decisions. So we really want to work on getting that nervous system back into a homeostatic state.

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Danielle Young: And then we we start working on building resilience and confidence and smashing those limiting beliefs. And you know, really just honing in on what are those negative thoughts that you're having that are holding you back?

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Danielle Young: Then the 3rd month we start integrating and goal setting. And it's all about moving forward outside

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Danielle Young: of the program.

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Danielle Young: What are your long term goals? Where do you want to go. What do you want to do? And by this point you should have a pretty good idea of

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Danielle Young: where you want to be in your life.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it again. You have. You have the experience, not just the the head knowledge to really help people

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: through the pain into a well adjusted life because you've walked the journey yourself.

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Danielle Young: I have.

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Danielle Young: Yeah.

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Danielle Young: yeah, I bring a lot of empathy and compassion to my coaching, and not everyone can say that they can do that.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes, and it's not.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's not about, you know. You have to be in this really terrible place because you were in a really horrible place. Yeah, but you know.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: abuse comes in a lot of different flavors.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And edit.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Even a little abuse

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: is a lot of abuse. It has lifelong. It can have lifelong effects on you until you understand that

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the the tools to actually

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to fix it, and it shows up and glaze. Don't even expect I mean it just like

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it can show up in your business. It can show up in your personal relationships, you you're always gonna end up

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: attracting people that just continue to make your life

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: miserable because you allow it. You don't know how to not allow that to happen to you anymore. So it just, you know, you may move through one relationship, and it does not even a man, woman, relationship, or partner relationship. It could just be like friends, series of friends that you you go through. And there they all have a common thread that reinforces this

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: this trauma that you've gone through. But you haven't actually identified in your life.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, it's yeah.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Important to heal.

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Danielle Young: It is, and I hear this a lot. You know I keep attracting toxic people into my life. Well, have you done the work yourself. You know. What is it that you are seeing? Because our our people are our mirrors?

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Danielle Young: So if we're seeing? Oh, wow! This person's really toxic. Okay, what haven't you healed yourself?

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Danielle Young: And that's really the 1st step. And oh, okay, I don't know, you know, and that's that's where something like coaching can come in. We can sit down and go over. Okay, what's going on? What's happened? So you can stop attracting those toxic people into your life. And you can start attracting the people who are for your greatest and highest good.

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Danielle Young: because those are ultimately the people that you want to be around you don't want to keep being around people who re-traumatize you.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And and sometimes it means moving away from people and sometimes just changing yourself will change the people that are around you.

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Danielle Young: Absolutely.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I've noticed that in my own life.

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Danielle Young: Same.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's just like I show up different. And they show up different. Imagine that.

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Danielle Young: Oh, yeah, the amount of people that I've lost on my journey. It's and you know I don't.

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Danielle Young: People with abandonment wounds will have a hard time with this at first, st and I know I did. It's that fear of everyone leaving.

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Danielle Young: and what I ultimately came to understand is, now these people are making room for new, better people to come in.

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Danielle Young: These people are just not on my path anymore. They're not on my journey.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And that would be family members.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I hope.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oh, yes.

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Danielle Young: Oh!

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Category. It's really sad, but.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, it's hard when it's family.

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Danielle Young: It's really hard.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But it's kind of like you have to release them. They're on their own journey, and you know, but.

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Danielle Young: Yeah.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: For me. I hope she comes back at some point.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But for now, geez! What it is.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, I can be at peace with that.

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Danielle Young: And I think that this notion that because they're family that we have to put up with it.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oh, yeah.

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Danielle Young: You don't.

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Danielle Young: I don't care who they are, if

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Danielle Young: if it is violating a boundary, or if it is violating your moral and ethical principles. No, I don't. I don't care who they are to you. You do not. I mean you absolutely do not have to put up with it.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you don't have to hate them. You can just let.

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Danielle Young: No.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oh, I just look it!

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It doesn't. It doesn't have to be a judgment on them. It just means that, for now they need their own space.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And by leaving them you, you do actually open the door to allow them to heal, if that's what they choose.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: firmly believe we're all here to do what we're here to do. And

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and when we, when we try to force relationships, I think it causes more problems than it solves.

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Danielle Young: It does.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, I mean, anything that has to be forced is not meant for us.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's okay.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, it's totally okay.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I think that was one of the biggest lessons I've learned. It's just like everything's okay.

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Danielle Young: Yeah, that's a tough lesson.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Can just be. Be as it is.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Danielle, I really enjoyed chatting with you today.

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Danielle Young: Thank you.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I really appreciate you being so vulnerable and sharing your story with us. That is a really powerful story and a great testament to your resilience, and

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I really appreciate that I wanted you to know that.

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Danielle Young: Oh, thank you very much. I I really appreciate that.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So what's the one thing you hope the audience takes away from our conversation today?

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Danielle Young: If you are recognizing yourself in anything that we've talked about today, just know that you are not alone.

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Danielle Young: There is. There's help out there. There's resources out there

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Danielle Young: that can help you either get out of a situation or help you heal from one.

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Danielle Young: and it's ultimately going to be up to you to make that 1st step, but you can do it.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can do it.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Thank you for joining me today.

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Danielle Young: Thank you so much for having me.