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What other people will think about your decision to bet on

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yourself, to build a side business, to share your

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expertise, to be confident in the fact that you are who the hell you

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say you are, that's got nothing to do with you. And it's not where you

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should be putting your energy. But if you have something that you want people

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to know and, or you think that other people could benefit from, and the only

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reason you are not saying it is because of what some probably

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irrelevant white dude is gonna think on the other side, that is

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not a reason. We can do things scared. It doesn't mean you're not scared.

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It doesn't mean that you're not worried about things. It doesn't mean that people won't

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have opinions. But in my experience, the people who matter don't have time to

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have opinions other than positive ones about what you're doing.

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Boom! Welcome to You're Not Too Much from the Different, Not Broken Network,

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a podcast about how you're not too much. Space

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expands, so let's fill it.

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There are very good reasons for not starting your own

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business or not starting your own side business, whichever. There's

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super good reasons for doing it. You have a job, you don't

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want the stress of owning your own business. You don't want to be responsible

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for all of the details and minutia of running a business. You don't have

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time. You don't have energy. There's so many good reasons and there's nothing wrong. There,

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there are lots of people who advocate for starting your own business who make it

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sound like there's something wrong with having a job, like working for someone else is

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somehow embarrassing. No, you have to pay your bills. If you're in

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the US, you have to get health insurance. You have to take care of your

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family. And if you're doing that through a job and you're doing the damn

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thing, you are doing the right thing. So I am not an

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advocate for big middle fingers towards your full-time job

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or not having a full-time job or whatever. I don't believe that.

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So if the reason that you're not starting your business is

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I don't have time, I'm worried about the finances. I

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have some sort of non-compete with my full-time job. I

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don't want to create conflicts with my full-time job. Like,

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all of that's valid. And if the safety and security

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that your full-time job gives you is important to you or something that you need,

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100%, I'm totally on your side. However, if the reason

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that you are not starting your business or

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positioning yourself as an expert in your field is

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because you are worried about what other people will think,

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that is not a reason not to bet on yourself. Put

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plainly, other people can get bent.

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What other people think about you is not your business.

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What people say about you when you're not in the room has nothing to do

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with you. If people are shitty and talk about you when you're not in the

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room or have nasty things to say about you, let them. That's their breath

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that they're wasting on something that has nothing to do with them. But what other

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people will think about your decision to bet on yourself, to

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build a side business, to share your expertise, to be

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confident in the fact that you are who the hell you say you are, that's

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got nothing to do with you. And it's not where you should be putting your

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energy. And I mean that in a lot of ways. Should you not wear a

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thing you want to wear because you're worried about what other people will think?

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Fuck them. Should you not try a

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new hobby because you're worried that somebody else will think that it's silly or

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stupid? Fuck them. Like, the opinions of other people

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should not be interfering with what you want to do. So when I say,

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what is stopping you? What is stopping you from

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fractionally helping other companies? What is stopping you from

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building yourself or creating content or doing things around what you know

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and how you can help other people and things that you think other people should

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know in whatever way you're comfortable with. It doesn't mean that you have to

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start a vanity project podcast just so you can talk into the microphone every

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week and drive your producer crazy. Like, I'm not saying you have to do that.

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It doesn't mean you have to do video content all the time. It doesn't mean,

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it doesn't mean anything. But if you have something that you want people to know

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and, or you think that other people could benefit from, and the only reason you're

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not saying it is because of what some probably irrelevant white

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dude is gonna think on the other side, that is not a reason. We

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can do things scared. It doesn't mean you're not scared. It doesn't mean that

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you're not worried about things. It doesn't mean that people won't have opinions.

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But in my experience, the people who matter don't have time to have opinions

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other than positive ones about what you're doing. They don't. The

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people who matter are not spending the time and

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calories on thinking about what you are doing at all.

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And if there's anything relatively negative that they have to say about it, it is

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a two-second blip before they go about their day. They've completely forgotten about it.

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So what is standing in your way? Is it money? Is it

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capital? That's real, but you'd be surprised how

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many consulting businesses you can start without a dollar. There's so much

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good information out there, and a lot of it is already stuff you know.

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You might need somebody to push you in the right direction, but it's already within

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you. Is it not having the right connections? Is it not knowing where to

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start? That's an easy fix. Just go make some friends. Find

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people in your, in that industry. Make some friends. Genuinely make some friends.

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Do not make transactional friends who you want to make money off of.

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Make friends in that industry. And you know what? Make

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friends, meet new people, foster older

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relationships. Because I get a ton of referrals

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to my business every day— knock wood— and a lot

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of the referrals I get are not even from people who are in the

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field that I'm in. It's just somebody who knows

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somebody, and they call and say,

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hey, I have this friend and he's starting a startup and and knows nothing about

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healthcare compliance. Can you help him? He's never billed before. Can you help him?

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He's never done this before. Can you help him? That person's in like underwater

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basket weaving, but they just know that I do healthcare things.

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And so you will get referrals from people who are not even

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in your ecosystem, but they run into somebody who's in your ecosystem

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and they remember because you told them, “I am now doing

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consulting in bowling alley maintenance.” And they're gonna meet somebody who

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runs a bowling alley and they're gonna put you guys together because this person probably

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needs bowling alley maintenance. I have no idea what bowling alley maintenance is. I just

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made that up. I assume it's a thing. I'm gonna guess it's different now

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that everything's automated, but I also, if anybody is an expert in bowling alley maintenance,

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I would love to hear from you because I wanna know what it is now,

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but it just came outta my mouth. So if what's stopping you is your

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network, go build a network. If I can put on

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pants and shoes for three days and

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talk to a bunch of strangers at an event like I did recently.

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You can message people on the internet unless you're a white guy

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being creepy. Don't do that. Or any guy being creepy. Don't do that. Keep it

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about business. Be nice. Be authentic. Don't tell people they're cute

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unless you're another woman commenting on a woman's hair. That's

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fine. But like, there's a lot of creeps on LinkedIn who think networking

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is saying things about women's bodies. And it's not, it's not, it's never been. Don't

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do that. If there is an expertise within you, and I know there is, I'm

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certain there is. If you need help finding it, you reach out to me because

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I will help you find it. I guaran-damn-tee you, someone

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else who is less qualified is getting paid to

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teach people about things you know way better. And the things that are

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stopping you should not be the opinions of

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anybody else. Because those people are not going to pay your bills.

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Those people are not going to help you build a business by having a negative

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opinion of anything. So when that pops into your head, I want you

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to literally out loud tell those imaginary

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people or those people who you are putting words into their

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mouths to get fucked and go do the thing.

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Go do the thing. One, you can bet on yourself.

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But two, I know you have it in you. Do not stop what is in

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front of you because of the imaginary or

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perceived or sometimes real, and if they're real,

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thoughts of jackasses that you are either

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conjuring or giving way too much airspace to. Tell them to get

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bent and get to work. Ask L2. We

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have a question from Deborah. I hired someone

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to take the admin off my plate, and I've spent three weeks

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secretly redoing their work at midnight. Am I a bad

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boss or just a bad delegator? I don't wanna say it like it's a

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little bit of both because that's not the case. I don't think you're a bad

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boss. You might be a bad delegator. It sounds to me like more than

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anything, you just aren't sure how to communicate what you actually

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want or need, but there's also a world where it's just not the right

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person. Like, in my experience, when it's the right person,

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after you've done the training part of it, they'll

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know when to ask questions to get

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the parts that they need so that they're doing it right. And so

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this is not a criticism of that individual by any means, but like, sometimes it's

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just not the right fit. The people who do well

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managing me, and it requires a lot— I'm, I am a mess. I

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need a lot of people to manage me. It, like, figure out pretty quickly

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that sometimes it's not asking me, sometimes it's telling me.

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Sometimes there are things that make perfect sense in my brain

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that don't translate well, and they have to come ask me questions.

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Sometimes it's putting time on my calendar and scheduling

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so that I actually do the thing that they ask me to do. And they'll—

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I had somebody who worked for me for a long time who did this, who

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would put time on the calendar, make sure I showed up to the meeting. And

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then when I showed up to the meeting, say, I just wanted to make sure

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you did this thing. Bye. And leave me there. And that meant

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that she blocked the time so that I actually looked at the things she needed

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me to look at. But like, those are ways to get through to me. That

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doesn't mean that's the type of stuff that you need. But first off, I would

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try to communicate a little bit harder. And if you're making changes, you need to

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be communicating those changes back to the person. Because if they don't get a

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chance to do it the way you want it because you've never told them, then

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that's a problem. But if you tell

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them, but you still have to make those changes, then it's not the right person.

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So first is communication. Communicate more. I get

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overwhelmed when I have to communicate a bunch of instructions to people. And so I'm

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much more comfortable writing out the instructions or making Loom videos

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to show them how to do it. And then answering questions, like a limited amount

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of questions that they might have after getting the whole visual. That's how

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my brain works. That's how I learn better also. And so that's how

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I tend to set those things up because the idea of like sitting on the

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phone with somebody for an hour and talking through all of the things like that

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sounds like my nightmare. I'm not great at that. But

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on my own time, putting together training documents and

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giving you the full brain dump of everything that I anticipate that you're gonna need

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to do and showing you all of the weird

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intricacies of different systems so that you have a version that you can

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reference back to at any time. Like, that I love, and then I can

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answer the other questions in the meantime. You gotta communicate with this person,

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and if you're fixing things, they need to know that you're fixing it, not because

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you wanna tell them they did something wrong, but because you wanna tell them the

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right way to do whatever it was. And then if you

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keep having to fix things after having communicated, or that person is

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not taking enough initiative and requires that much supervision to do

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every task, it's not the right person. That's not a criticism of them. It's just

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there are some people who are not made for certain jobs, and that's okay. I

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had an employee once who was somebody we all liked

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so much, like literally one of my favorite people in the world,

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and I enjoyed working with him so much,

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but he could not answer chats

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from users to save his life. We would

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get chats and emails and he would answer them incorrectly every time.

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And it got to a point where we were having to have him answer them

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and then go double-check them before he could send them, which meant

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responses were going out hours, sometimes days later,

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because we had to have the bandwidth to double-check his work, which wasn't working.

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And then it got to a point where we just started

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taking things away from him because we were doing weekly coaching

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sessions. We were walking him through everything that got responded to incorrectly. We

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were giving him the resources. We were building new resources. We were pouring

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so many hours into getting him where we needed him to be to be able

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to do this role, and it just wasn't working. And that's not a criticism of

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him. It just, for whatever reason, was not information that his brain received

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well. And so, like, he wasn't the right person for that job.

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And did it suck? Absolutely, because I deeply loved this

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person and I thought he was the best. I thought he hung the moon.

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But at this one thing, he sucked. He was bad at it, and

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that was not good for the business. And so

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first and foremost, always communicate, communicate, coach,

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support, document, figure out whatever way you share information

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back at this person. But then second, if that doesn't work,

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assuming you are the problem, maybe there are things that you can do better, but

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assuming you are the problem when you are doing all the work

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instead of finding somebody who can work in that

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ecosystem, it's going to be a lot of time of you trying to fix that

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without getting the actual support and help that you need. So it might just be

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you have to move on to somebody else. Thanks for being here, guys.

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Have a good day. Love you, mean it.

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Dude, if we get people who respond about bowling alley maintenance, we are putting them

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on the air. We're gonna do a whole episode about bowling alley

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maintenance.