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Welcome back to episode three, Journey to Self.

I'm going to tell you a little story about when I hit rock bottom.

It wasn't very nice and it was really, really hard to actually come out of.

So I realized that I had hit rock bottom the moment I couldn't get off the couch.

My nervous system was exhausted.

It was absolutely wrecked.

I was struggling so much with juggling kids and business and the house.

I was at a burnout point.

And when I realized that my nervous system could literally take no more, I actually started to shut down emotionally.

I had already shut down mentally.

I kind of blocked out all of the

hard things that were going on and I actually just stopped.

I literally just stopped myself dead in my tracks and it was at a point where I was lying in bed.

I don't know if any of you have experienced not being able to get out of bed or get off the couch, but

It's actually an actual thing.

Like you get so numb and you get so drowned by the heaviness of life that it actually just stops you.

And the moment that I realized I didn't want to be here anymore, I didn't want to fight anymore.

I didn't want to keep going anymore.

I thought of my children.

And a lot of people will snap out of their buzz or their depression when it comes to their children and they'll pull themselves out, but I didn't.

I actually thought, how can I take them with me?

How can I end this journey for all of us?

Because I had no one.

Nobody was coming to save me.

Nobody was my,

lifeline.

I didn't have any family and at that time I had absolutely blocked myself off from friends.

I had nobody except for my children and my children had nobody.

And I realized at that point that the best thing that I could do for us was to drive us over a cliff.

I did not know where any cliff was that I was going to drive over, but I thought I had that thought.

And I had this overwhelming sense of sadness, a complete

embodiment of sadness.

And that was the first feeling that I had felt in many years because I had just completely shut my emotional and my mental capacity to understand or acknowledge or feel anything.

And when I felt that sadness of ending not just my life, but my children's as well, I experienced that

that feeling.

And that stemmed and started my journey to finding myself again and empowering myself.

And I slowly, slowly realized, you know what, enough is enough of this bullshit.

Enough is enough of this depression.

I've had enough.

I deserve more and my children deserve more.

And when I felt that sadness, it almost kick-started other feelings.

Other feelings of other times I should have been sad, but I wasn't sad.

Other times that I should have been scared, but I wasn't scared.

And so I started to think about how I could take a journey on self-discovery and self-healing.

And once I made that choice, it ended up in this whole

romantic journey to loving myself and accepting myself and being one with myself and knowing that I deserved more and that what I had experienced in my life before I didn't deserve.

And once I realized that, it just, everything changed.

It was an absolute game changer.

So working hard on finding out who I was and how I was affected and what pain I felt and what experiences I had missed out on feeling because I became so numb.

I began to visit.

I began to explore the emotions and the impact that it had on my life and actually revisited how it impacted and shaped me to become the person that I was at that moment.

And when I took the time to actually see, man, you've come so far, like you got through that.

I actually started to have respect for myself.

And once I started to have more respect for myself, I took more pride in my appearance.

And when I started to take more pride in my appearance, I was able to feel more confident.

And when I started feeling more confident, I started to love on my children more, and I started to interact with them more, and it started to empower me.

And it started to make me believe, you know what, I am a good person and I actually deserve the best of life, the best life that I wanted for my children, I was able to start creating for myself.

And so...

From there, I actually created this beautiful space that I was the main character in and that I was worthy of being seen and I was worthy of having a nice home and having nice things.

When I realised that you actually have to put in the work,

you get the results.

It's not about sitting back and wishing that life was better and that wishing things were different, but if you put in the work to actually change, you will get the results.

Journey to self isn't all about the dark, the scary.

It's about rebirthing and reliving and reinventing and recreating what you're destined to be.

When you actually start loving yourself and becoming your true authentic self, you can actually break through the glass ceiling to the limitless possibilities of being the best version of yourself.

Just love yourself enough.

Get addicted to becoming the best version of yourself.

Get addicted to personal growth and self-mastery.

Want to fall in love with yourself.

Choose yourself.

know that you are worth it, know that you deserve more than maybe the life that you're living right now.

If you are struggling with self-love at the moment, if you are struggling with self-doubt, if you feel that your nervous system is so unstable, if you feel your nervous system is just going crazy and wild within yourself that you can't even control it, I just encourage you to find

it deep inside your soul to take the moments and consider if a journey to self is worth it.

If you feel right now that your nervous system is so unstable and that your life is not where you want it to be, I encourage you to take a moment to ponder the thought, is a journey to your true authentic self

Worth it?

What would it look like if you loved yourself a little bit more?

What will your life look like if you took the time to be interested in you?

Imagine taking a little bit of time to invest into who you really are, to find out who you really are.

What would that look like?

How could your life change if you just love yourself a little bit more?

Thanks for listening.

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