Welcome to I'll marry you a podcast with me, Olivia Colman, full of tips and tricks from the UK wedding scene, interviews with industry experts, and a whole lot of oversharing done.

Life admin is out the way.

I'm moderately comfortable.

Welcome to the podcast.

So does this sound good?

Let's assume it is.

Welcome to another episode of the podcast.

So, outside, I'm gonna whisper this, because I'm recording in my living room, and literally right outside my living room window on the road is a carpentry company.

Well, actually, I can tell you what they are because I can see the van bespoke joinery in carpentry, kitchen insulation, restech, roofing systems, and property management and maintenance.

They are.

I don't know what they're doing.

They're doing something with wood.

It's noisy and it's annoying.

So I apologize to the listeners if, in fact, producer Drew has overestimated his capabilities and is, in fact, unable to edit out the sound of the sporadic saw outside.

How is everyone doing?

How has everyone been for the past seven days?

It's the last episode.

I'm really enjoying this season.

In fact, this very morning, as I record this episode, I have recorded an interview with an industry expert, and I am so excited about it.

I think it's going to be amazing.

It's going to be brilliant.

And I can't wait for that to come out.

That might come out before this.

It might come out after.

I've not got a routine.

I'm busy, you know, I'm busy.

I'm busy working.

I.

I'm busy bringing up my child and Lola, and I'm busy creating human life, aren't I?

So I'm busy.

I'm busy be.

So, I don't know.

I just.

So I seize these opportunities to record when I can, and then I don't know when they're coming out, do I?

Producer drew sorts out all the backstage nonsense.

So on today's episode, we're going to offer a little advice and guidance, and.

God, my chin's big.

This is the downside to recording podcast with video.

I'm gonna have a lot of work done after I've had this baby.

I'm not embarrassed to admit it.

So this week, we're going to talk about readings in your wedding ceremony.

And it's something that I love to talk about because I'm very into readings.

I just like the sound of my own voice.

It's something that I encourage in a wedding ceremony, and it's actually, I think that this episode could be very helpful, because what I've learned recently is that when I'm meeting couples, especially couples, in the initial phone call for celebrancy, I can direct them.

If they've got any queries or questions or they're struggling with anything during the wedding planning process, I can then direct them to a particular episode of the podcast.

So today we're going to talk all about readings, and then at the end of the show, we've got a really exciting RSVP.

So stay tuned, people.

Should we get started?

Let's get started.

Come on, then.

So, first and foremost, if you're listening or watching this episode, I will admit to you that I am going to read the readings off my phone.

You know, I'm a modern girl and also, I couldn't be asked to write them all out.

So my number one rule with readings in wedding ceremonies, do not, I beg of you, read them off your mobile phone or your iPad, or your Kindle or your bloody Apple Watch.

Do not read it off a piece of technology.

It gives can't be asked vibes.

It shows the world and the couple that you quite literally couldn't be bothered to either write it out or print it out.

Now, I know that a lot of people don't have printers at home because either they don't work at home or they're Gen Z.

And the idea of wasting paper and killing the universe is, frankly, ghastly.

I do have a printer because I'm old school.

But, you know, your library, your local library, your mom, your nan, your gran, your office, go into a bloody shop.

I don't know.

There's people out there.

There's printers out there for having sake.

Printing out, printing out.

A lot of my couples will print out the readings for the readers and they'll put them into a nice pamphlet, if you will, or a leaflet or a booklet of some kind so they will look pretty when they're stood up there reading.

If you have the foresight, brides and grooms, to do that.

That's the ideal, actually, because then it's.

It's cohesive with the stationery, perhaps, with the order of service.

Everything's very seamless, you know, it shows you've really put thought and effort into it.

So, as the couple getting married, if you have the foresight to do it, then I do recommend printing out the readings, putting them into something that looks pretty, and then giving them to the reader on the day of the wedding, not too soon.

You can give them to me as your celebrant.

I can keep the booklet.

But I can also.

I do normally print out the reading and just put it within the ceremony because worst case scenario, the readers.

Forget it.

Do not read your reading off a mobile phone.

I cannot stress it enough.

Consider who is reading.

So quite a few of my couples, because I really encourage at least one reading in a ceremony, quite a few of my couples will say, we don't know who to ask.

We don't have anyone to ask.

You don't have to have a reading?

Absolutely not.

You can do what you want.

But I do think that at least one is good because it just breaks up the sound of my voice.

And it also, I think, unsurprisingly to you all, I'm sure, I think that being asked to read at someone's wedding is an honor and it's giving someone a job and a role that perhaps is they're not in the wedding party or perhaps they're an auntie or a cousin or a friend that doesn't have another job to do.

And you know that they're the kind of people that they like jobs to do.

It makes them feel important and special.

You know, they like the fact that at the drinks reception, people come up and go, oh, lovely reading, Carol.

Oh, thank you so much.

Yeah, really.

You know, I was so nervous, but thank you so much.

They like the attention, don't they?

Baffles me.

Of course, when you think about who you're going to ask to do it, nine times out of ten, unsurprisingly, the ideal would be to ask someone who enjoys public speaking and who is good at it.

But, and you might be surprised to learn out of your friends who are good at it, if they do it for a job, they're used to it.

It's not a big deal to them.

And to be asked to do a reading is fine.

Yeah, cool, whatever.

That's great.

Thank you so much.

Some people are absolutely terrified and it's not kind to make people do it if they are terrified of public speaking because they'll just dread it.

And to be honest, even though it is at the beginning of the wedding day, so they can fully enjoy the rest of the day, still, they're going to be dreading it for weeks beforehand.

The readers at my own wedding, man, and James is my own, were.

We had two readings and one of them was a dear family friend of ours who is basically like an auntie to me.

She's one of my mum's best friends.

She's one of my best friends.

Her name is Janice and she's really important to me, and I wanted her to have a job to do.

I wanted her to give her something to do because I want.

It was my way of saying, you're important to me, and I want you to be.

Be a part of my wedding day.

Not just another guest, but, like, you're special.

Special.

Janice.

What she didn't tell me.

She was like, yeah, of course I will.

What she didn't tell me until after the fact was that she hates public speaking.

So I didn't know, but I knew she'd be good.

And she was.

She was brilliant.

And she read a religious reading because we got married in a church, not a celebrate, blah, blah, blah.

And then the other reader was producer Drew, can you believe?

Because producer Drew and I have known each other for 15 years, and actually, I haven't written down his reading to read to you today, but I'm looking at it because as a wedding present, Drew and his wife, gorgeous m, had a friend of theirs create.

Well, they sort of roped out the reading into a.

Onto a piece of paper that they then frame, but with illustrations and things.

I'll show you a picture of it on the YouTube channel and also on socials.

And that was a non religious reading.

And producer Drew and I met at university studying performing arts.

So there was obviously no question that producer Drew would be more than happy to share the limelight with me for a few minutes.

And that was really nice, because that was even though Drew Washington at uni with me, we lived together at uni, and James and I had been together all of uni.

So actually, he was a mutual friend, so he produced.

Drew was, like, younger, our friend, and then Auntie Janice, we actually call her Raven.

She was sort of a different generation, an older family friend who was so important to me and had become important to James.

And I took ages finding the readings because I love reading and I love poetry, and I love looking into all that.

And it was appropriate because we were.

It was a church service.

We had one religious reading and one non religious reading.

Neither of them were particularly long, maybe two or three minutes each.

And it was lovely, and I'm really glad I did it.

So I always encourage people to do readings, and I always encourage people to choose a guest to read that won't be totally mortified by the whole experience, and we'll see it as the honor that I think that it is.

If you choose a bridesmaid to perform a reading at your ceremony, bear in mind the odds are their bridesmaids dress ain't gonna have pockets.

So therefore, someone needs to have that reading, whether that is me, your celebrant, because no one else is there, or whether the groom has it or the best man has it, or you put it in their seat, their reserved seat, or their partner has it or something like that.

You want to make sure that the readers have their readings and that they're comfortable with what they're reading.

Don't give it.

Don't give them their reading on the day of the wedding.

That's happened to me before.

One of my very best friends.

She's such a minx.

I think I've spoken about her before.

I'm gonna name and shame her.

Her name is Jessica.

One of my best friends in the entire world.

She was one of my bridesmaids, and I am godmother to her daughter.

And it was but the morning.

No, the night before the christening that Jess chose to.

Oh, by the way, you're doing a reading.

I mean, obviously, she's known me 20 plus years.

She knows that you can give me a reading the night before, and it's fine.

But anyone else would hack their pants.

I thought it was, you know, fine.

But she literally was like, yeah, by the way, you're doing a reading.

I was like, okay, cool, cool, great.

I think I read it through twice in my head.

I didn't even practice it out loud, and then I read it, and it was fine.

But that's, you know, I'm trained and also a wanker, by all accounts.

Don't give it to people the day before or the morning of, because it is.

That's.

That's just not kind, is it?

Whether they're professional or not, it's.

It's.

It's not kind.

When people come to me and they say, we can't find a reading.

Like you, Liv, you've told us that we should have a reading.

And we get it.

We understand it, but we can't find one that speaks to us, which I get.

There are so many out there.

There are so, so, so many out there.

And the beauty of the celebrant ceremony is because there are no rules or limitations.

It can be any kind of reading that you want.

It doesn't even, in theory, have to be a reading reading.

It could be like a little speech, but it can be religious.

It can be non religious.

It can be rude.

It can be a passage from your favorite novel.

It can be lyrics to a song, but spoken.

It can be anything you want at all.

Anything.

And also, you can start it with a little introduction.

So quite often my couples, if they choose, like an auntie or an uncle or something, they'll quite often, they'll come up and before they start the reading, before they go straight into it, they'll say, you know, this reading was chosen by the bride and groom, and it's about so and so and so and so.

And I'd just like to thank you for having me read this reading because, you know, I love you both and it's an honor to be here and I wish you all the luck in the world.

It can be that.

It can be really personal and really relaxed.

And then at the end of the reading, you can also kind up to the couple and give them a cuddle and say, like, thank you, or whatever.

It doesn't have to be like, you walk up to the lectern, you open the Bible, read a passage and then leave.

Like, it can be really relaxed and fun.

And that all depends on the reading you choose.

And like I say, if you can't find anything that speaks to you, if you're not fussed, don't have a reading.

But if you want one, there's so much choice out there.

So hopefully what I'm going to do is I've picked a tiny portion of options.

I'm literally going to read a few, well, more than a few, but I'm only going to read a small amount to you of the ones that I know and love, and there are so many out there, but I'm going to read them to you, and I hope that that will inspire you.

You can go online, obviously.

I always say to people, the first step is to literally Google wedding readings because that will help you to begin with.

You can then have a discussion about it with your partner and think, okay, are there any songs we like the lyrics of?

Are there any movies that we both love?

One of my first ever ceremonies, the mum was doing a reading.

I think it was the mother of the groom, and the mum chose.

So she must have been in her fifties, sixties, and she chose to read a quote, like a monologue, really, from one Tree hill, which I thought was bloody brilliant.

Like, absolutely.

Why not?

If you think about it, especially us millennials who grew up with the OC and one tree Hill and Dawson's Creek and all the rest of it, those soppy CW american sitcoms, they got reams of monologues about love and life and letting go and all that bollocks.

Who's to say that you can't reenact that or, you know, take.

Take a monologue from the notebook.

Like, honestly, it can be anything you want.

So when people say to me, we can't find one that speaks to us, you just haven't looked hard enough, basically, because the options are endless.

So here are a few possible wedding readings for your ceremony.

I hope you find it helpful.

So when you book with me, I send you out loads of information about how the ceremony usually looks, about the vowels and the ring exchange, and all the wording that I would ordinarily use.

But also I say, you know, this is what we do.

However, if you want to change the wording at any point, that's absolutely fine.

And along with that information are some suggestions of readings.

I put them into different sections, so I'm going to read you a few of these from my own suggestions.

But then also I found some others that I've heard more recently in ceremonies that I just think are fab.

So when I say modern readings, I mean modern, I mean not super duper traditional, old school, not necessarily religious, which I think a lot of my couples, it's very rare.

I would say three or 5% choose a religious reading and I would say 70% choose a modern reading as opposed to a traditional one.

So one of my favorites, which seems a bit silly, but that's the whole point, is a monologue from a movie.

It's actually a song from a movie.

So we're combining two possibilities here.

Something from the tv and something from music.

So it's from the film, the Adam Sandler film, the wedding Singer.

And if you've seen, if you haven't seen it, it's brilliant.

Nineties, early nineties.

And if you have seen it, it's song that he sings on the airplane.

I want to make you smile whenever you are Sadeena carry you around when your arthritis is bad all I want to do is grow old with you.

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches, build you a fire if the furnace breaks oh, it could be so nice growing old with you.

I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold, knead you, feed you, even let you hold the remote control so let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink put you to bed if you've had too much to drink I could be the man who grows old with you I want to grow old with you isn't that lush?

So he actually sings it.

I want to make it smell.

I can't remember the song.

So that's a really nice option.

So that's an extract from the movie the wedding singer.

This is a very popular reading.

Very.

Don't be put off by readings you've heard before at weddings.

There's a reason they're popular.

They work.

They're good.

They make sense.

They're easy to read.

The art of marriage by Wilfred a.

Peterson.

A good marriage must be created in the marriage.

The little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say I love you at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is having a mutual sense of values and objectives.

It is standing together and facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each person can grow.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is not only marrying the right person, it is being the right person.

God, I'm really giving this performance gravitas, aren't I?

Another one that a couple that I put on my list that couples quite like.

Because a lot of my couples are like, oh, it's just a bit soppy or it's a bit mushy or whatever.

And they want something that's a bit more fun, you know?

And it's love by Bob Marley.

She's not perfect.

You aren't either.

And the two of you may never be perfect together.

But if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can.

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break her heart.

So don't hurt her, don't change her.

Don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give.

Smile when she makes you happy.

Let her know when she makes you mad and miss her when she's not there.

Isn't that lush.

I'm just going to keep repeating myself now.

So those are a couple of examples of modern readings.

Gonna find you some more that I found, which I'm really enjoying.

Another, I'll speak at the end of the episode about the delivery.

But it really is all in the delivery, you know?

It really is, because I think how you say it, especially these modern readings.

The more traditional ones and the religious ones kind of are what they are.

But the more modern ones, it's more in the delivery, I think, as to how jovial or how romantic.

You want them to sound.

Yeah.

So this is quite a romantic option.

And this has become very popular in the last six months because obviously, with social media people, you can find people, talented people with all these skills a lot easier than you could before.

And they come to the forefront, and the algorithm brings them into your ether and all the rest of it.

And so there's a poet, a female poet that's come to the forefront, and she's amazing.

And a lot of her readings are being used in my ceremonies at the moment.

And her name is Whitney Hanson.

Always want to say Whitney Houston, but it's not.

She did.

It's Whitney Hanston.

And it's just called wedding poem, which is good.

You would have seen this on Instagram, I'm sure.

They say that sometimes love starts with a spark, and that might be true.

But if I were to wish you a love, I wouldn't wish fire for you.

You see, fire is powerful.

It burns bright, and then it's gone.

It's beautiful and warm, but it doesn't last long.

So instead of wishing you a love that burns, I wish you a love.

Like a river that twists and turns, it changes and it flows.

It is powerful and free, but it consistently finds its way back to the sea.

And so, like the water, I hope your love is ever growing, ever changing.

I hope your love is powerful and free, and may you always find each other like a river finds the sea.

Now that is gorgeous.

That is.

I just love that.

And then this is a reading that I wasn't familiar with until very recently.

One of my couples has chosen it in a ceremony that I've got coming up, and it's called love monkey, which James and I call each other the monkey.

And I feel like that's quite a common nickname for couples.

Love monkey by Edward Monkton.

And I think this is the one that you can read quite breezily.

Is that all sort of thing?

It was once custom that every monkey would carve for himself a wooden hearth.

And the heart that love monkey carved was the most beautiful of all.

Its contours were soft and rounded, like an ancient pebble sculpted by the oceans.

Its surface was smooth and shiny, like liquid silk, and it shone as bright as a ruby in the desert sun.

Take your hearts with you wherever you go, said the teacher.

Nurture them as a mother nurtures her newborn baby.

For when you want to give of yourself fully, your heart is the only true gift you will have.

That night, love monkey had a dream.

He dreamt of a monkey whose smile lit up his soul like sunshine.

He held out his heart to her, so radiant, so splendid, and so new.

She took him in her arms, and he felt truly, perfectly at peace.

When love monkey awoke, he resolved that from that day forward he would search for his dream monkey until he could stand before her and give to her his perfect heart.

He traveled through deserts and climbed over mountains.

He trekked across forests and sailed many oceans.

Love monkey locked.

Sorry.

Love monkey looked after his heart as best he could.

But the storms that he endured on his travels chipped away at its surface, and each new adventure reshaped it.

By the time he arrived on the last distant shore, his heart was so changed by the patina of time that it barely resembled his old heart at all.

And then he saw her standing before him.

As radiant and as beautiful as the sunshine was his dream monkey.

At first, the cold could not speak.

But then, from somewhere deep inside himself, he found a voice.

I have traveled the world over to find you and to give you my heart, he said.

But now that I am finally with you, I see how foolish I have been.

You are so beautiful, so perfect.

And my heart that was once smooth, so bright and so new is now not something that I could even bring myself to show you.

And he turned to go.

Let me see it, said Dream monkey.

She took his heart and held it up to the light.

Nothing to me is more beautiful.

Every inch tells a story.

Every blemish makes you more real.

All my life I have been waiting for a heart like this.

A heart that speaks the truth.

Come here, she said.

I have something for you, too.

In her hand was a tiny golden heart.

It was as worn and as scratched as love monkeys own.

And it was the most precious thing that he had ever seen.

Love monkey put his arms around her, and they held each other for a long, long time.

I shall treasure this heart for as long as I live, said dream monkey, running her fingers over its ridged and dimpled surface.

Then they looked into each other's eyes and feeling the joy of truth in their souls.

For the first time, they began to laugh.

And often they sit together still holding each other's hearts in their warm hands, lifting them to the light and laughing.

Always laughing.

Girl, I love that.

Don't you love that?

Because that's the other thing.

It doesn't have to be like that to me.

Sounds more like you're reading a children's book than you are reading a reading.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, it's the way you deliver.

That, I think, would be.

Oh, bloody hell, mother.

Sod off.

Sorry.

Very unprofessional.

I'll call her back.

Don't we?

That, to me, is like reading.

Yeah, like reading a children's book.

It's like you're reading a part of a story rather than the whole story.

But the essence of it, that's a real head scratch, you know, it really makes you think.

This is another reading that a lot of my couples choose if they're dog people.

And you know me, I'm not, apart from my family dog, my best friend's dogs.

I'm not a dog person.

I'm not an animal person.

But I get it that people are.

And I support their endeavors.

I support their hobbies.

So, especially if you've got a dog that's coming to the ceremony, which happens.

But if you've got a dog at home and you want to have a bit of fun, it's a bit of a light reading.

And it's sort of in homage to your pet dog.

It's called falling in love.

It's like owning a dog by Taylor Molly.

First of all, it's a big responsibility.

So think long and hard before deciding on love, okay?

On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security when you're walking down the street late at night and you have a leash on love, ain't no one gonna mess with you.

Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.

Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

On cold winter nights, love is warm.

It lies between you and lives and breathes and makes funny noises.

Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.

It needs to be fed so that it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.

But come home and love is always happy to see you.

It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life.

Yeah, but you can never be mad at love for long.

Is love good all the time?

No.

No.

Love can be bad.

Bad love.

Bad.

Very bad love.

Love makes messes.

And love leaves you little surprises here and there.

And love needs a lot of cleaning up after.

And sometimes you just want to get love fixed.

Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of the newspaper and swat love on the nose.

Not so much to cause pain, just to let love know.

Don't you ever do that again.

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.

Because sometimes.

Hang on a minute.

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.

Because love loves exercise.

It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.

It pulls you in several different directions at once.

Or winds around and around you until you're all wound up and you can't move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.

People who have nothing in common but love.

Stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away, and love will bring them back again and again and again.

But most of all, love needs love.

Lots of it.

And in return, love loves you and never stops.

Cute, isn't it?

Cute, isn't it?

This reading.

Okay, this is going to be the last of the modern ones.

But this reading makes me laugh, actually.

And I heard it the first time, maybe two years ago, and I thought it was bloody brilliant.

It's called love me when I'm old, by B.

Rawlingson.

Love me when I'm old and shocking peel off my elastic stockings swing me from the chandeliers let's be randy bad old dears push me around in my chromed bath chair let me tease your white chest hair scaring children, swapping dentures let us have some great adventures.

Take me to the dogs and bingo teach me how to speak the lingo bone my eels and bring me tea show me how it's meant to be take me to your special places watching all of the puzzled faces you in shorts and socks and sandals and me with warts and huge love handles as the need for love enthralls wrestle with my damp proof smalls make me laugh without constraint buy me chocolate body paint hold me safe throughout the night when my hair has turned to white believe me when I say it's true I've waited all my life for you what's great, the first time I heard that one, it was read by an auntie or a granny or a mum, and people weren't expecting it.

And it was really.

People were really enjoying it.

It was really funny.

So those are just a few examples of modern readings.

And like I say, it can be a movie.

It can be from a book.

It can be a poem.

It can be someone on Instagram.

It can be a famous author.

It can be whatever you want.

And here are some more traditional readings.

How do I love thee?

By Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach when feeling out of sight for the ends of being an ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely as men strive for right.

I love thee purely as they turn from praise.

I love with a passion put to use in my old griefs and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seem to lose with my lost saints.

I love thee with the breadth smiles, tears of all my life.

If God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

I don't love that one, you know.

I've just like reread it to myself.

I thought, God, that's a bit depressing.

Some of them are.

Some of them are.

But that's a more traditional one, I suppose, isn't it?

It's not religious, but it's the way you speak it.

You can't.

You couldn't do that one jokey, could you?

Like you just.

No, you couldn't do that one with a spring in your step.

This one, I think is traditional in that the author is traditional.

Pam Ayres.

If you don't know who Pam Ayres is, why bloody how would you?

But google her.

She's a poet, but she does quite naughty poems.

But she's quite old school with it.

So this is, I think, sort of a mix between the traditional reading but with a bit of humor.

And it's called I'll marry you, my dear, by Pamez.

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear.

And here's the reason why.

So I can push you out of bed.

When the baby starts to cry to.

And if we hear a knocking and it's creepy and it's late.

I hand you the torch to see and you investigate.

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear.

You may not apprehend it, but when the tumble dryer goes, it's you that has to mend it.

You have to face the neighbour should our Labrador attack him.

And if a drunkard fondles me, it's you that has to whack him.

Yes, I'll marry you.

You're virile and you're lean.

My house is like a pigsty.

You can help to keep it clean.

That sexy little dinner which you serve by candle light as I do chipolatas.

You can cook it every night.

It's you who will work the drill and put up curtain track.

And when I've got PMT, it's you who gets the flack.

I do see great advantages, but none of them for you.

And so before you see the light.

I do, I do, I do.

Do you know what I mean?

Like in the.

In the way that that's written.

It's quite a traditional piece, but actually it's quite funny.

And then lastly, I would like to give you a couple of religious readings as an example.

It doesn't.

Unless you're really.

Unless you're atheist and you really don't want any religion in your wedding at all.

I do think that religious readings, not necessarily for the religious content, which sounds a bit silly, but I just think they're written quite beautifully.

So even if you're not necessarily a religious, if you're not against the idea, then consider having a religious reading.

Because some of them.

Some of them don't even talk about God.

You know, it's up to you.

So, the most popular.

I haven't googled it.

I probably should have done, but the most popular wedding reading, I think probably ever, is from the Bible, and it's one corinthians, chapter 13, verses one to 13.

You would have heard this a million times.

But again, there's a reason why it's common.

I'll start it and you'll roll your eyes.

Right.

Okay.

Love is patient and kind.

Love does not envy or boast.

It is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way.

It is not irritable or resentful.

It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.

As for prophecies, they will pass away.

As for tongues, they will seize.

As for knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.

When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.

Now I know in part.

Then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now, faith, hope, and love abide.

These three.

But the greatest of these is love.

Again, bits of it don't make much sense, but it's good, isn't it?

It's good.

I just wanted to.

I honestly, I could do.

I could recite readings to you forever.

Which, I mean, this is.

This is a very specific episode of the podcast, so you're probably.

Probably had enough of me by now.

But let me just.

Just one more, which again, very popular, but I think also really cute.

If you have, maybe you have a child together, or a niece or a nephew or someone a bit younger to read this one, I think it's really nice.

And it's us two by aa Milne.

Basically, it's the winnie the pooh one that's how you'll know it.

Wherever I am, there's always Pooh.

There's always Pooh in me whatever I do, he wants to do where are you going today?

Says Pooh well, that's very odd, because I was, too.

Let's go together, says Pooh says he.

Let's go together, says Pooh.

What's twice eleven, I said to Pooh.

Twice what?

Said Pooh to me.

I think it ought to be 22.

Just what I think myself, said Pooh.

It wasn't an easy sum to do but that's what it is, said Pooh, said he.

That's what it is, said Pooh.

Let's look for dragons, I said to Pooh.

Yes, let's, said Pooh to me we crossed the river and found a few.

Yes, those dragons are all right, said Pooh as soon as I saw their beaks, I knew.

That's what they are, said Pooh, said he.

That's what they are, said Pooh.

Let's frighten the dragons, I said to Pooh.

That's right, said Pooh to me.

I'm not afraid, I said to Pooh, and I howled his paw, and I shouted, shoo, silly old dragons.

And off they flew.

I wasn't afraid, said Pooh said he, I'm never afraid with you.

So wherever I am, there's always pooh.

There's always pooh and me.

What would I do?

I said to Pooh, if it wasn't for you, said Pooh.

True.

If it wasn't fun for one.

But two can stick together, says Pooh.

Says he.

That's how it is, says Pooh.

Cute, isn't it?

There's so many options, and I hope that's helped.

But honestly, just think outside the box.

Start by googling wedding poems, because that's the obvious place to start.

But think outside the box, and I promise you, there is a reading, a poem, a song.

There is something out there that will make sense to you.

Right?

I just want to.

Let me just grab.

I know I said that once, the last reading, but I just want to grab the one that drew, producer drew read at my wedding.

Okay, hang.

Hold fire.

I've just taken it off the wall.

And, you know, when the paint behind a painting is a different color to the rest of the wall?

That's cool, isn't it?

So, if you're watching, this is the presentation reading that drew and M gave me.

And if you're listening to the episode of the podcast, I'll show you on socials.

So, this is the reading I can't even remember.

I'm out of breath, man.

This is the reading that producer drew read at my wedding.

And I can't remember off the top of my head what it's called or who it's by, which is helpful.

Do you remember the night the moon dropped from the sky and we ran through the forest to see where it would lie?

I was tripping on tree roots and slipping on snow.

And you were holding my hand saying not to let go when we found it at last, there were twigs in our hair, a rose on our cheeks and our breath in the air.

And the words to describe it got caught in our throats as its silver lights danced through the threads of our coats.

We knew that our eyes had not seen such a view.

You were looking at it.

I was looking at you.

Boom.

Motherf cker.

I love that.

I love that.

I love that.

Really paints a picture, doesn't it?

You know, really paints a picture of two people in love.

Oh, I love that.

Right?

I'm done.

I'm done.

I'm not going to read you anymore.

Okay, I'm done.

But if you would like to pay me to read, then I will record short stories.

I'm open to both non erotica and erotica.

I hope that's helpful.

See y'all next week.

See ya next Tuesday.

Okay, this week's RSVP.

The gorgeous Jessica.

Not best friend Jessica, although she is gorgeous.

The gorgeous Jessica has slid into my DM's and she has said.

Hi, Olivia, love the podcast.

Quick question for you, as I know you're super busy, but we were thinking of singing a song during our ceremony.

What are your thoughts?

Love it.

Straight to the point, Jessica.

Straight to the point.

I think I've spoken about this before, but I think singing a song in a celebrant ceremony can be really fun.

But it depends on a few things.

And I'm talking like really make or break on a few things.

One, you have to choose the right song.

It needs to be upbeat.

It needs to be one that everyone knows.

I recommend song by the Beatles.

Or what's the I love you baby and if it's quite alright I need you baby.

That's a good one.

So it depends a lot on the song that you choose.

You've got to make sure it's a popular one.

Having said that, even if you think everyone knows the words, it therefore means you have to print them out because not everyone does know the words, and nothing worse than getting the words wrong.

So song choice is key.

I would always position it at the end of the ceremony, because then people are stood up and they're in the mood and they're jazzed and they're pumped and they've been singing and the music's playing.

And I'll always say to the pianist, because I do think live music with a singalong is better.

I'll say to the musician playing, just keep sort of tinkling the ivories in the background and then I can sort of pronounce you married.

And then it kind of works into the end of the ceremony quite seamlessly, like that.

So pick the right song, position it in the right place in the ceremony.

Make sure you print out the lyrics.

Ideally you have a live musician and tell the gobbiest of all your friends that you're doing it.

And tell them to sing up.

And you sing up at the front and have fun with it.

It's only going to work if you have fun with it.

If you're embarrassed or you're shy, it's not going to work.

And when it doesn't work, it really doesn't work.

I hope that helps.

Let me know any other queries do slide into my DM's.

All right, thank you so much for listening.

It really does mean the world.

If you find this podcast even remotely helpful or moderately entertaining, share with all your friends and family.

You can dm me any questions, queries?

If you want to share any stories on the podcast Instagram, I'll marry you podcast.

Get in touch.

I want to hear all your tall tales.

See you soon.

I'll marry you is a podcast by Olivia Colman.

The music is Mister Sunny face by Wayne Jones, and the show is produced and edited by Drew Toynbee.

If you want to support the show or advertise with us, don't forget to have a look for the link in our show notes.

So it's from the film the Adam Sandler film, the wedding singer.

And if you've seen, if you haven't seen it, it's brilliant.

Nineties, early nineties.

And if you have seen it, it's the song that he sings on the airplane to her.

So it goes like this fucking sanding outside my house.

Sorry, that's not how it goes.