Content is just another word for complacent. A lot of people talk about

what they're pursuing in life as being happy, being content. It's bullshit.

Joe Rogan said, motivation isn't what's needed, discipline is

It's the people that are posting on Instagram three times a week, their

It's not realistic. Why would you just strive to be content when

People don't see an end game because we're sort of built to

Welcome to the Better Bloke Podcast. I'm Matty. I'm Rob. And

we're just a pair of average blokes on a mission to try and be a

We're going to speak about all things highs and lows of what it feels like to be a bloke,

plus speak to some legends along the way about what it takes to be a better bloke. Let's

We've been able to get a couple epic partners on board to help with the Better Bloke

mission, but we want to take a minute to give the members of Bloke's Advice and

ourselves a bit of a pat on the back. The charity process started 12 months

ago, and obviously a lot of our time has gone into this, but

the merch has been a massive driver in keeping the ball rolling with Better Blokes, as

well as getting us to events like the 2500 Boost display in

Canberra. If you're chasing new threads, head over to blokesadvice.com and

Welcome back to the Better Bloke podcast. Welcome

back. Welcome back. Yeah. It's good to be back. It's feels

like I've never left. I'm starting to become comfortable. Comfort's

And on this one, what is comfort? What is comfort? Comfort

manifests itself in a lot of different ways. Does it? And we're going to be

tackling. Oh, it's not a small question that

we're going in today, but maybe you don't lead with

what that small question is or that it's not small. It's probably the

title of the episode. What is the purpose of life? Where

are you going to get your fulfillment from? What's going to get you through day to

day, week to week, year to year? How are you going to sustain some

level of feeling good about yourself and what you're doing? In

your opinion, what are some of the things that

For me, my purpose would be to create

something that after I'm gone,

people can look back and go, fuck, look what he did. And

that. Even once I'm gone, my kids can go, oh, my dad did this. That's,

to me, that's what my purpose is. Legacy. Yeah.

Legacy makes it sound like it's something cool. So

I mean, that's the definition of what you just described. Leaving something behind.

That's legacy shit. Yeah. Do some cool

shit. Interesting. I'm not that worried about

legacy. No? No, because I think like, just

to be sort of blunt about it, most people get forgotten real

Well, that's why I'm trying to do legacy shit, so I'm not forgotten real quick.

Yeah. You think about Queen Elizabeth, right? Who? Exactly.

What'd she die a year or two ago? One of the leading monarchs ever,

probably the longest reigning, and she did the most shit for 70 years.

Yep. She's been gone like a year or two and like, she's still on

some coins, but like... To be fair, like a lot of shit's been going on

to take everyone's mind off her passing. I know, but

I think it's just sort of like... You know, people will think

about you fleetingly, but for me, that's not a big enough driver to

sort of sustain me through everything I'm doing. Like I'm

alive now. I'd like to be, you know, doing

stuff that is providing some value to

people in the moment. So I can see it unfold. Like

Well, yeah, but that's what drives you to do that legacy shit in

my opinion. So like what we're doing now, for example, like

the Better Black Project. That is purely about helping

our fellow man, but we want to build it up to a point where

everyone goes, fuck, like this is something next

level, which I believe that we can do or else we wouldn't be pushing it

Well on the way, hit the top 10 on the charts a little

I think we were only three numbers behind one

of the top dogs in the men's space called Mr. Jordan Peterson. So

Yeah, reach out if you want to jump on, have a chat. We'll help bump your numbers up

Let's drop into some life advice then. That's sort of, I guess

a lot of guys struggle with not so

much finding the meaning in life, but

defining the actions that it takes to get there. So

like you said yourself, you know, you're after legacy and making impact

in people's lives, but how do you take that

and figure out how you go into the real world and,

you know, is that doing stuff with your family? Is that driving a career?

Is that doing better bloke? Like, what's the

process for figuring out where the right place to put your time

and energy and effort into? And I think that's where a lot of guys sort

of get tripped up because they feel like they're not on the right path to

Definitely. And I think I'm probably the wrong person to ask that because I

just go for it. And I don't actually, I don't know,

like for this, for example, this was something that like we'd, we'd planned

this out and all that sort of thing, but we

essentially just went into it because we went the effect of

what we're going to do far outweighs, I

guess the risk, if it fails. Um, I

know you probably planned a lot more than, than I did with this. Cause that's, that's

you on me, but. The

way that I approach everything is like, even though you may have that purpose

for this time or this point of time, that

may change in two or three years time. So just whatever your purpose is

then and there, do it. Just go as hard and fast as

you can for that purpose whilst maintaining the

I think you're cutting yourself a bit short there. Because, you

know, we'd spoken about the idea of doing this charity because we do

know it would make impact. Yes. But, you know, I

could have come to you with a different idea and being like, Hey, like

And I do like lampshades too though. You do like lampshades. But

Are you saying not all lampshades are right

I mean, all lampshades aren't made equal. Dog.

That's going to get us canceled. Back to this. Yep. Whether

you were thinking about it or not, I think there was something in

you which recognized this, call it a opportunity or

calling a purpose of helping blokes being

in line with you getting what you need personally in

terms of creating or committing to developing

a purpose for yourself. And maybe it aligned with, you know,

what you could see your own skillset as being. And that's

the reason why you've gone ahead and put so much effort into it. Are

you not reflecting on like some of those things as you're making these

As I am now, because you're making me think about that. But

at the time, no, I didn't, I didn't give it any thought. It was just like, yep, this is what

I want to do. So we went out and fucking did it. And

that's, I think that's the difference between like you and I is

you are so calculated and whatnot where I am

to an extent, but A lot of

my calculations happen just in the back of my head and I

go, Oh yeah, that makes sense to me. I'll just do it. I

don't know if it does, but it works out so far. So I don't

know. I don't know if it's just me going into everything with

such confidence that it can't fail. That even

if it does look like it's going to fail, I'm like, Oh, well just

go for it anyway. So yes

and no with the wanting to do

something. bigger as my purpose. I think

it just sort of rolled in for how many years we've been doing stuff with the

group and all the boys of Blokes Advice. It's sort of a

It was natural. It was logical. And it was in alignment

with actually creating that greater purpose.

Going back to that purpose word. So on that, um, I

think as the space we're in being men and

understanding a lot of our value does come from the

purpose that we provide. Right. A lot

of people talk about what their pursuit in life is, is being, you

know, being happy or being content or something like that.

Like I don't agree with being content, content.

It's just another word for complacent in my mind. What about happiness?

Happiness is, I agree with happiness. You should always strive for happiness, but

why would you just strive to be content when you can strive for

greatness? Like you're selling yourself short, like go

bigger and better than what you think is the standard. And

I've been reflecting on this on the last couple of years and Without

sounding morbid, I think happiness is kind of overrated. Like

It's wonderful, like it's good, but I think it's very fleeting. And

I don't think the pursuit of happiness is

a good framework for how you should conduct your

life. Because inevitably things are going to happen where you're not going to be happy

all the time. And sometimes you're not going to be happy for quite a long time. And

if your goal is to be happy and you can't be

happy for weeks or months at a time, suddenly

this idea of what you want in your life to be starts

falling apart. I heard this great thing and they compared

it sort of to hunger. Like you can get hungry

and you can eat and you can fill yourself up and

make that hunger go away. But inevitably it's

coming back and you need a new way to stop

being hungry. You have to fulfill yourself. So it's more around making

your life in a way for continued fulfillment so

that you can get those bursts of sustained happiness over

time rather than trying to stay in this like

ball of happiness because I just don't think it's realistic. Constant

dopamine hits. Yeah I don't think happiness is a natural state of

humans like we grew up in caves and shit like we're facing

problem after problem after problem with a glimpse of happiness. I

Yeah I've never actually thought about it that way but I think when when you put it that way it

makes a lot of sense but at the same time I don't completely

agree with it. Like I know personally you should strive

for happiness, but then at the same time, it

is somewhat unachievable with what you've said with maintaining that.

And I think that's where all these small dopamine hits that everyone gets

from, you know, social media, going out

and eating shit food, all that sort of stuff. That's where those little things are

coming from is people constantly chasing, I guess,

Yeah. Striving for happiness. I agree with. Yeah. Living

in a world where you think that should be your baseline, it's

unachievable. It's not real, it's bullshit. It's the

people that are posting on Instagram three times a week, their happy

moments, and you're thinking that's their whole fucking life. That's,

it's not realistic. And I think people that are seeing that

and thinking, why don't I have that, are just setting unrealistic expectations

on their own life. You know, if they took a more realistic

approach to what life could be, and shift

their focus from happiness to purpose and building the purpose framework

about something that will generate happiness along the way, because it

does, um, you know, whether your purpose and

it's different for everyone is helping other people or building community

or building something that is of value to

other people, whether that's products, friendship, relationships,

fatherhood, you're gonna get as a natural

Yeah. I think going back to what you were saying with everyone

seeing like the perfect pictures on Instagram and whatnot, that

that's something that we probably need to remind people of is that is exactly what

you're saying. You are only saying what that

person that you follow wants you to say. No

one is perfect. That's like perfection is unattainable. You

can't chase perfection or else you're going to constantly

Yeah. I can speak on that. Cause I'm like a filmmaker, photographer.

Um, the last five years I've

pretty much been flying around the world, shooting all sorts of

adventure skate travel stuff. Yeah. Travel stuff. But

guess where my Instagram lights up. When I'm in the

mountains in Norway or when I'm like doing something super cool,

the peak of what you're doing is cool. Realistically, 80% of

my time is in a dark room in front of a computer and. Yeah,

I'm guilty. That's not what I'm sharing. Because A, no one

wants to see it. B, it's boring. And C, like,

it's, I guess, not what I

want to portray in my life. Like, but then my good friends

message me, you're living the dream, Matty. Like, that's crazy

Yeah. Is that maybe something that, and this is something

we haven't planned, I'm going to hit you front on with it. Do we With

us stepping into this scene now, do we make a conscious decision ourselves

to be ourselves? Like we, we post

the real shit. We let the world see us as who

we are and maybe in turn, that's

our little wave. Maybe others down the track will go, shit. Okay. Let's

start doing the same and show, show real life instead

of just the glitz and glamour that everyone sees on social

Yeah. A hundred percent. Since starting the Better Bloke Project. I've

felt almost like a imposter syndrome

type situation. And back before when I'm

writing blogs on blokes advice, you know, I'm writing all this stuff

and I'm doing my research, I'm reading all these papers and I'm telling guys,

you know, you should do this, you should do that. And I felt this

like responsibility, or I don't

know, like, it just forces me to acknowledge that

I'm not doing some of this stuff makes me accountable. And

I have not so much on social media in what I portray, but

investing some of those some of that

knowledge I've picked up into my own life to try and be a little bit better. It's

hard. I'm the first to admit I've fucked up a lot. Like

I have guilt, regret, shame built into

my life and acknowledging that

and then striving to actually look

at that and find ways to improve on each of those things across

everything is the only way that you're going to become

And the pursuit of that has become, I

guess, my purpose in life, more so than chasing happiness. I'm

like, what could you be? I think that's the

bigger thing because I'm fundamentally aware how

I sit as a man right now. Yeah, it's a lot better than

five years ago. I was kind of a piece of shit. But

I'd like to think when I'm 40, I'd have way more

self-awareness and I'd be a lot more disciplined and

deal with my procrastination better and be better in my relationships. And

working on that slowly over time is I think the only way that you're going to

get there. And that starts giving you a purpose.

I think it's important to mention to you, because obviously a lot of guys are

going to relate from what you just said. It is so easy

to give advice to others. but it's

very hard to take that advice. Like,

I know exactly what you were saying with, you know, you tell boys this and

you give them, you know, from a personal

level, just to go, Hey, this is what I would do in that situation. Obviously this

is just my experiences, but that

whole imposter syndrome thing is something that's very, very real. And

even not in giving advice, just

in general life, there are so many blokes that feel that they

are an imposter for what they're talking about. The fact

that you pick up on that and you're aware that

you can actually start to try and make, even if they're just

little changes, like, you know, we spoke about it a couple of episodes ago,

like 1% better every day. That's the goal. All

you need to do is just try and be a

little bit better. It's okay if you stay stagnant. It's

not okay if you go backwards, but if you do you push forward again the

the goal is to always Maintain that forward step

There it is again Just keeps popping up. I wonder why we

named it that seems to work just rolls off the tongue So

we're talking about like realizing that there's

things we need to action. And the biggest thing that is

for me, and I'm sure it's the same for everyone, it requires discipline, right?

And that's something again, that is bloody

hard because you need motivation and

you need a bit of a strong mind to be able to find yourself in that area

where you can put self-discipline on yourself. And that's maybe

where we see a lot of guys sort of fall apart. How

have you seen, I guess, either with yourself or

with guys, the lack of self-discipline sort

I think self-discipline comes down to, well, not even self-discipline, just

discipline in general, particularly in

just trying to push yourself to be that little bit better. everyone

focuses on exactly what you said, like the motivation to do so. And

there's a, it's not

really quite, but there's something that a good friend of the show, Joe

Rogan said, um, that motivation isn't

what's needed. Discipline is what keeps you going. So

Another one from Chris, which I really liked was if you're

not motivated, but you do it anyway, aren't

Hmm. That's got me twisted in the

Yeah. Because like motivation doesn't necessarily

mean you wake up in the morning, super excited that

you want to go for a run at 6 AM. But

if you drag yourself out of the door with discipline. That's

sort of one and the same with motivation. It might not be that it was easy

for you, but you found something which is motivation, which

got you to do it. So you don't have

to feel that motivation is this ecstatic energy to do it, but

if you can force yourself to do it, you've found enough motivation to

Even in saying that, like I'll use for example last week. I

didn't want to go for a run in the morning. And I

was like, nope, not going. Hammy come up to me and said, we're

going for a run. And I went, oh, I don't really feel like running. And

he goes, I don't care. We're going for a run. And I went, okay, done.

So even for those times that you

don't have the motivation or you don't have the discipline, maybe

rely on others to help get you over that speed bump. So

for a little while ago, before they removed our ability

to have chat groups online, um, we

had a group that was nearly solely dedicated to

boys encouraging each other to go out and fix

their sloppy rigs. And that was going off.

Like there were boys that were essentially competing with each other just

to see who could run the furthest or who did the hardest weight session

at the gym or And it created this little environment that as

much as it was motivation, it was competition. And blokes

love competition. That's the driving force

for a lot of guys. So I think what I'm trying to

say is if you don't trust

yourself to be disciplined enough or motivated enough to do it yourself, lean

Yeah. here's a bit more marketing jargon for

you, but something that sort of plays into marketing psychology

is the term gamifier. So when it comes to,

you know, maybe it's being at an event

and trying to make something more interesting, or it's,

you know, running a sale or something like that, if you can add

an element of gaming into it. So it's

competition or it's luck or it's skill. It

makes the whole experience a lot easier to go through. That's

a psychological sort of condition. So that's very much

the same with the concept behind an F45 or a CrossFit because,

you know, they have these circuits, they have timing. I'm not familiar with

CrossFit. Aren't you? You're looking very shredded. But

then there's also like all these people around you. So the experience

of going to one of those things is not just going to

gym and lifting weights by yourself. It's creating an environment, a

psychological place. That's going to help you actually go

through those, uh, harder things and make

the level of discipline you need to go

through it, be lower. You just got to get yourself there. And then that

Yeah, I'm a big fan of that. So I, well, even using myself,

for example, I went to gym for a bit,

not my scene. I couldn't get motivated

enough or disciplined enough to want to actually keep

doing it because there was no competition for me. But

if I'm playing footy or, you know, going down hitting some pads, there's

an end goal for me that, you know, either you're going to play footy on the weekend. So

you've got that competitive part of that for training, or

if you're going down hitting some pads, you can go off and go to sparring on Saturday. So

it's sort of, I don't know, it's all going to come down to whoever's

doing the training, but you just need to try and, well, not just training, I mean, it's with

anything, trying to better yourself. You need to find

what your trigger is to keep that

discipline or that motivation. But yeah, discipline is

definitely a big part of that because I'm not great at it unless I've

Yeah. And the whole gym thing where you go on solo. Yes.

So there you go. I always go solo. Well, potentially

it could be, you know, just having that gym partner

or going into one of those eight week challenges where there's like, okay,

there's a photo at the start and the end and I'm paying a bit of money. So

there's a bit of skin in the game. Like maybe it's a

framework like that, that. draws

a bit more commitment from you and gives you a reason to

be competitive or purpose purpose. Another

thing that kind of goes off the back of Jim, cause it's like one

of the very easy. things to see

it in is delayed gratification. Like

a lot of people get into something and they want to immediately

see results. And it doesn't matter if it's a relationship with

your spouse that takes so much time to build, or it's gym where

you're trying to get, you know, lose weight or get some gains, or it's a

business which takes heaps of time, or it's whatever you want to

do. there's a compounding effect of doing

reps, doing repetition and actually building your skill set, building

your ability to do it. And so many people

overestimate what they can do in the short term, but like underestimate

what they can do in the long term. What's going to happen if you stick with this

for a year, five years, 10 years, people

don't see an end game because we're sort of built

Does that come back to what you were talking about before with everyone's chasing happiness

and those like small dopamine hits that because

everyone wants to be happy right now, they're not prepared to,

I guess, wait for that end result that

Yeah, I think there's a lot of sacrifices made for short

term fulfillment. And that, you know, that could be being on

the piss every weekend, instead of building something that is

going to get you to the spot where your head knows you want to be in

five years time. Like, if you start a business, you see guys

talk about this on the page a lot. Someone says,

I want to go out by myself. And guys will be like, the

first three years are going to be the worst years of your life. By 10 years,

you'll be living the bloody dream. You know, you'll be having

all the money and have a whole lot more time, but people don't want to go

through the three years to get to the five year mark. It goes

back to understanding the power of delayed gratification.

And I think Jim's a good one for that because it doesn't take that long. Like

if you do something for three months, you do see yourself lose weight. And

once you've proved that concept to yourself, maybe you can go and put it in different

Definitely depends as well. If you want to speed that process up,

there is ways that you can do that. Tren. Diana Bowe. Yep.

Glenn. All sorts. Yeah. So reach

out if anyone's got hookups for

You could. I mean, I could, I just. Get on the fat burners. You'll

have abs probably in like three weeks. Oh, I

don't know if I want them. Oh, come on. I reckon Jess would be pretty happy.

She probably would be. Yeah. But. Is

that going to leave a legacy? Um, do you know Zs? No.

Zs? The Zs legacy? That's a whole thing. We're

Yeah. You Myron bro? I'm Myron. Yeah. I know Zs. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, he's still alive I think. He is. RIP. I

think that was a pretty heavy one. Um, But

it's such an important topic. And I

guess the whole thing is like their top line discussions and

I think it's important to throw back

to when we were discussing purpose, that purpose, every

bloke is chasing purpose because I personally feel

that a man without purpose is sort of lost.

It's okay if you don't have that purpose for a set period of time, or

And the purpose doesn't have to be huge. No.

Your purpose can be, I want to be the best person for

my friends and my family. And that can be a great starting

point. And then you can look at it. How could I be better? Look,

I could just like learn, you know, to give

more love. How can I express that? I can help people do

stuff. I can do this. And it's just a small step in the right direction. So

then you can maybe get in a different position and figure out what's next

for you. Big fan of that. And on that note, thanks guys

for tuning in. If there's some things in your life

that you've either overcome and sort of figured out a way to

find some purpose, drop us a comment and tell us all about it.

Cause the boys love reading it and it gives everyone a bit of context to

Yeah. And that's, that's exactly what we're trying to build. We're just trying to build a community off the back of

this with people getting involved, other

people talking, giving different reasons as

to why they listen or what they get out of it. So yeah,

like Maddy said, comment below, have some discussions in the comments because discussions

are healthy and great for maybe changing

You can find us at Better Blokes on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok,

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As always, be better. Thanks for

tuning into today's episode of Better Bloke. If you got anything out of it, show

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