Hi, and welcome back to the awfully quiet podcast. If you are tuning in today, you picked a good one. We're about to dive into a topic that I personally have a little bit of a love hate relationship with, and it's all about virtual meetings. You know, the ones, your zoom, your Google meet teams, whatever platform you've been dragged into.

Now, if you're anything like me, and let's be honest, most of us introverts meetings can feel a bit like an uphill battle. It's like, no matter how hard we try, there is always at one moment where we start to question ourselves and we start wondering, did I say enough? Was I too quiet on this call? Was this embarrassing?

And it's not just us. I haven't seen a single company yet where the meeting culture didn't need some serious adjustments, whether it's over scheduling, people talking over each other or trying to figure out if that 30 minute catch up could have really been a two line email. Meetings are messy. And guess what?

We're often at the mercy of our managers and teams when it comes to how these things go down. But don't you worry, today's episode is not a rant. Nope, we're going action mode. I genuinely believe virtual meetings are a massive opportunity for introverts, and we're just not tapping into that potential yet.

Now, how many times have you sat through a call off camera, said literally nothing at all and peace out at the end? Be honest. But here's the thing. If that's what you're doing, you might as well not join at all. There is a better and quieter way where you can have a real impact without trying to be anything you're not.

You just need the right strategies, some intentional prep, and a little bit of a mindset shift. That's how you cultivate what I like to call quiet presence. You signaling that you're there, you're present, you're contributing, you have something to share. And what's the result of that? You get noticed, you get respected, you get opportunities coming your way because people will see the value that you bring.

Even when you're not the loudest person on the call, even when you're not there trying to outshine the extroverts in a way that doesn't feel natural to you. Now, I think at the end of the day, Zoom is not going anywhere. So we better figure this out. What I really wanted to do today is offer you an episode that gives you tangible tips, things that you can take away into your next virtual meeting, which I'm sure is just around the corner for you and you pick and choose whatever you're going to try.

All right, so the first thing to understand is that in order for us introverts to join a call or a meeting and contribute in a meaningful way, it does require a little bit of pre meeting preparation. And this is where we're different from the extroverts who will often join a call and wing it, right?

And that can feel daunting to us. So I want to spend some time talking about pre meeting preparation and what it looks like. There's a couple of elements to this, but I believe the first thing to do here is at the point where we accept a meeting. So I think this is where we need to become really intentional and have a first kind of checkpoint in place where we become really mindful of the kind of meetings that we want to join and the kind of meetings that we decline.

Because if we're honest, there are a lot of meeting invites that come to us on any given day. And more often than not, the meeting host or the people, the person setting up the call might have not thought about, you know, exactly who to invite. I feel like I'm often part of these huge meetings. With so many people joining and participating, but it's always a handful of people actually communicating with each other.

A handful of people actually speaking up, being on camera and a couple of other people who will always be on mute off camera, not saying anything at all and actually leaving the call just like that, you know, at the end of the call, just, you know, bye, thank you. And I'm like, Well, it doesn't feel like they were needed on the call.

And, They weren't present. And that's actually where, where the problem is. So sometimes people will be on a call and it will actually be meaningful for them because they will take things away. They may be even write things down. It was important to them to get the information that was being shared. It was important for them to have the knowledge of what was being discussed.

But. Without saying anything, without communicating in any kind of way, and we will get into other ways to communicate that don't have to be speaking up, but without doing any of those things, it feels like they weren't present. Nobody actually knows that they took something away from the meeting. Nobody can tell that they were present.

And I think this is where the problem is. This is what I really don't want you to do. So. Have this checkpoint in place. Be sure that if you accept a meeting, you really need to be there. Be sure that you understand what's the expectation. Is there anything that you need to share? Is there any kind of knowledge?

Is there any project that you worked on in the past that is meaningful to the conversation that they want to have? If you're not sure, check in with the meeting host and ask them, You know, what do you want me for? What, why should I be joining this call? Is there anything that I should be bringing? Is there anything that I should be prepping?

what is it that you want me there for? Is it my perspective? My, my knowledge, my expertise, whatever it is, be sure that you know what you want me to do. Your role in this meeting, this is really, really important for you because when you understand your role in the meeting, what you're there for, you can join with more confidence.

You can join feeling like you have value to add. You have something to contribute. You are there for something. You have been, you've clearly, you're clearly invited. You're clearly welcome. And you're in a good position to add value. And I know that this is something that's really important for us introverts.

This is what sets the ground for you to thrive in a meeting and to contribute in a meaningful way. You understanding what your role is. So this is the first thing I want you to do. And then. The second thing is have a little bit of preparation with regards to what you want to bring to a meeting. So sometimes you want to just take a few notes of like, here's what I really want to say.

Here's a point I really want to land. This is a question I want to ask. Or maybe you have some slides prepared, a slide deck, a PowerPoint presentation that you could even share with a group beforehand and say, look, I want to, I know that we want to discuss. X, Y and Z. This is what I've recently done. Have a look, if you get the chance and I'm happy to go through some of it on the call.

Again, this creates a really natural way for you to speak up on the meeting because you have basically already. prepared the group that you have something to share. So you've already landed that message. And then it feels more natural for you to, to hop on the call and then say, look, all right, here are, this is the presentation that I've shared.

Do any one of you have any questions? Should I go through some of it? Was this helpful for you? Is this something that we want to discuss moving forward? So it's, it's a little more proactive and it sets you up and it gives you the right space to then join and yeah, feel like you have something meaningful to share.

So whatever works for you here, maybe a couple of bullet points, maybe it's a little bit of a mental prep, like five minutes before a meeting starts, you can have a think about, right. What is it that I want to share? What is my intention for this meeting? What is the message that I want to lend? How do I want to, what is the outcome that I'm looking for in this meeting?

Next, when it comes to pre meeting preparation, you also want to have a little bit of a think about the setting. And, you know, how you come across in a meeting, what does your workspace look like? the lighting, the background, the way you appear to others. and I know there's so many different ways to go about this.

I know, that in most of my corporate meetings that I join, people will either have their background fully visible, some people have like a blurry background, some people have, background images and, you know, that's all fine, but I want to offer you a little bit of perspective when it comes to what your background looks like.

And I feel like there is a lot of opportunity for introverts to. become a little bit more tangible and to show some of their personality without even speaking up, just by showing their background and by being intentional what their background is. Now, more often than not, I feel like I'm personally guilty of this.

I tend to, I tend to not say too much about my personal life. There's bits and pieces that I share with the immediate team that I work with, but not when I'm coming onto a big call and when I'm hopping onto one of those, you know, big workshops, it feels less natural for me to talk about who I am personally and what I do, but by sharing my background and by being intentional with like, what does the room look like that I'm working in.

People get a little bit of a feeling for me and people understand who I am and how I like to work. And it's some of those things that can often create common ground. Like somebody will see something like a book on the bookshelf behind you that they've read and they will reach out to you and say, you know what?

I read that book too. I really love your bookcase. I really love what your workspace looks like, or. You know what that lamp in the background that little portable LED lamp. I love that. I've been meaning to buy it. how do you like it? You know, some of these things that just. Paint a little bit of a picture of the person that you are, it can convey personality and just because I know that we tend to be less articulate about who we are, what we like, it can be so much of an added value for us to share with our actual backgrounds and have a little bit of a think about what that background looks like and what it says about you.

Something else is like your personal appearance and how you look and how much effort you put in when you join a call. Again, what I want you to think about is like, what is the personal appearance? And what is the kind of look that makes you feel like yourself, that makes you feel confident, that makes you feel strong, like ready to contribute.

And that might be being in your yoga pants and with a sweater on, like not putting that much effort into your appearance, but it makes you feel grounded. It makes you feel strong, powerful, like yourself. And it makes you feel like you can speak up and contribute in a meaningful way. That is absolutely fine.

But some of us might need a little bit more effort, a little bit more prep, a little bit more of a feeling like put together. Like maybe you want to kind of think about doing your hair, putting on a nice shirt, whatever it is that makes you feel confident. Do that. Try it out. Try it out. How it feels like to sit at home, like feeling put together and joining a call.

Is that something that would make you feel more inclined to join a meeting with your camera on that to join a meeting, feeling good about yourself? And what will often happen to me is like, sometimes I will randomly get a compliment from somebody who will say, Oh, I really like your hair today or I really like that shirt.

it's some of those interpersonal things that start to happen once you. Join a meeting and you give people a little something to work with, right? You give them a visual of yourself, of your home, of your background, of, you know, whatever is behind you and it can do so much and you have to do so little to build those interpersonal connections and relationships and again, boost your confidence to participate, to be present in the meeting.

And then the last thing I want you to think about when it comes to preparing for, you know, you know, preparing for success in a meeting is your mindset and your self talk and, and how you speak to yourself. And sometimes it takes a little bit of a mental reframe when it comes to, you know, our role in the meeting.

I want you to see the meeting that you join as an opportunity to contribute. valuable insights. It's not just about surviving your next meeting. If you have to survive it, you're likely not going to be present because in a virtual world, there's always going to be ways for you to escape, right? You might as well just join with your camera off on mute.

And there you go. But I bet you still feel kind of strange. Because you're on the meeting, you don't really want to be there. You feel like you have to contribute, but you're not. So you are going to end up leaving the meeting and feeling bad about yourself. Nine times out of ten, I bet you this is how you feel when you don't do anything at all, when you don't contribute at all, when you just survive a meeting.

So it does need that little bit of reframe for you. Those kind of few steps to take in preparing for your meeting to set yourself up for success and to say, look, This is a meeting that they want me to join. There is something that they want me to bring, that I have to contribute, that I have to add as a value to this meeting.

And that's what I'm there for, and that's what I'm going to bring. And I'm going to show up feeling confident. I'm going to show up feeling good about myself. I'll have my camera on. I'll speak up when I want to. And I'm just going to share in a way that feels natural to me. I am meant to be there. I have a role to play in this meeting and what I have to say is meaningful.

And these couple of steps can make a hell of a difference when it comes to the way you're going to join a meeting, how you feel, your self talk, your mental space, your mindset. And, it's what lays the groundwork. So meeting prep for the win for us introverts. And what I want to move into now is what I call quiet presence.

Okay, so the concept of quiet presence is actually really cool because it is so different from what you're being told to do on a meeting. I bet you have got feedback in the past that You need to be a little louder, you need to speak up more in meetings, you need to dominate the conversation, take up more space, be visible, be loud, be seen.

Now, some of that is true, you need to be visible, you need to contribute, but the way you get there is just different from what the extroverts do. So quiet presence is you speaking up in a way and you sharing your ideas and thoughts in a way that feels good to you. And I'm going to tell you what doesn't feel good to you because I'm the same.

What doesn't feel good to me is when I feel like I have to get a word and when I feel like I can't speak up because there is an ongoing conversation and there is no room for me to, you know, even say what I want to say. I feel like I'm not being seen. I feel like nobody really asks me for my opinion.

And then it would just feel odd to me to speak up regardless, to talk over someone else. And then my point, I've done that in the past. I've tried that in the past, but it never resulted in me landing the message that I wanted to land because I felt rushed. I felt out of place to speak. I felt like not invited to speak.

And it was just too aggressive for me, like my tone of voice. and I just felt like I had to rush to land my point really, really quickly and it didn't land. So this is what I don't want you to do, but quiet presence is there's a couple of more tools in your toolbox that you can actually use to show presence, to show that you're there and to also cue that you have something to say.

So one of the things that you can start becoming more intentional with is your body language. Now your body language in a zoom meeting, in a virtual meeting, when you have your camera on, there is actually a lot that people can see, like they can see whether you're engaged, whether you follow the conversation, you make eye contact, you nod along, you write things down.

All of these things are visible on a virtual meeting. When you have your camera on. And they show engagement and they also show authority. They show that you're there, they show that you're listening, you're present, you care. Now that is a lot different to somebody just kind of sitting on the call, looking out the window, not really interacting.

And then it's really hard for you to be seen as somebody who does care. Who is in the room, who is present, who is visible. And it's even worse when your camera is off. We're going to get to that later because I do want to touch on camera on off for, for several reasons, but. Have a look at your body language.

There's a couple of easy things that you can do is to show your present. Again, it's that nodding along, taking notes, you know, even just kind of joining a call and waving hello with your hand into the room. It shows that you're there. It cues confident. It's just kind of, ah, she's there. Hi. instead of just kind of, you know, kind of, with a, with a closed off posture.

So there's a lot that you can do with your body language to show you're there, you're approachable, you have something to say. So have a look at that and become a little more intentional with your body language. Another thing that you can do is use the chat function. Now, if you feel like you cannot get a word in, or if you feel like You know, you want to say something, but you know, you don't, you know, it doesn't quite fit the conversation right now.

Maybe you want to put a question in the chat. Maybe you don't want to interrupt anybody speaking. Maybe you just want to leave a thought. and some of the things that you have prepared, you can easily, you know, put them in the chat without having to, you know, talk over somebody without interrupting. You can share your valuable insights without fighting for airtime.

It shows that you are there. It shows that you're paying attention. And it also suddenly cues that you have something to say that you likely want to speak up. And then most often. What will happen is that somebody will read it and then say, ah, yeah, but you know, what did you want to say about that? I saw your comment in the chat.

Do you want to elaborate? Do you want to talk more about this? And that's your way in. That's. How you feel confident, you feel invited to speak, you feel like, you know, you're being asked to share and that's a whole different vibe. And that is so, so important for you. So create these opportunities for yourself through the chat function, through your body language to ensure that people see that you want to say something.

I feel like what also often happens is side conversations, like side chats with people who are also on the call. that's a very natural thing. And, you, you obviously have to, to, distinguish for you, you know, to what extent these kind of little side conversations distract you from what's happening in the meeting room.

But sometimes it can be helpful. Sometimes it can be helpful for you to just kind of connect with somebody else. And that way they know that you're, you know, actively listening. You're part of the conversation. Maybe you have a question that you don't want to put into the, the chat of the actual meeting room, but it just kind of shows, again, you're there, you're present, and that way, you can more easily speak up, you can more easily ask a question if you figure out you have that side conversation and you both have the same kind of question.

You didn't get something or you wanted to raise an issue that nobody who's currently talking really seems to see. You can raise it. You can say, look, this is what's just come to mind. Do we need to consider that? Is there a perspective that is going to be helpful for us here? So I feel like this can become really powerful for you is figure out a way.

You can speak up, you can contribute, you can share your voice, you can help control the narrative. you can take a little bit of ownership, you can suggest things, you can ask questions, you can quietly steer the conversation in the right direction. I often feel like as introverts and with our introspection and with our intuition, there is so much power that That gets underestimated also by ourselves, because I bet you, you're on this meeting, you're on this call and you think to yourself, Oh, there, you know, it's not going in the right direction.

They're not considering this or, you know, there's just something that's off for you or, you know, nobody's really taking notes. This conversation is going nowhere. You know, it's not going to be valuable for anyone. It's just going to be one of those meetings that phases out. And there's not going to be an action plan.

There's not going to be ownership, nothing. That's your role. That's what you have to bring. That's when you have an in to, to add something that's of value. There is to control the narrative to, to dominate. To actually dominate in a quiet, subtle way that is not annoying. It's just for somebody to bring in what they have to offer.

And most of the time for us introverts, that power, that magic is in our introspection, is in our intuition. And I would love for you to give this a try and to just kind of honor and, And embrace that you have this, that this gives you a little bit of an advantage and that you can use this more. You are there for a reason.

You have something to bring. You have something to contribute, not just from a technical perspective, not just from a functional perspective in terms of the experience that you have and the role or the job title that you have in the business, but also from your personality point of view. You have this rich personality, you have this rich in a world of thoughts, ideas, perspectives, and you got to share them because otherwise it's always the same three people dominating the conversation, steering the conversation, using the same approaches, the same perspectives that they've always used.

And it's not going to help grow the business. It's not going to help Progress, the endeavor that you're working on there together. So you would be doing everyone a disservice by not embracing, by not leveraging your unique personality. So quiet presence is where it's at for me. And I would love to, for you to give this a try.

So now we've talked about pre meeting preparation, setting yourself up for success, and then. Quiet presence, showing up, contributing in meaningful way, speaking with intention, sharing and adding value with your functional expertise, but also your personality. Now, what we can't miss on this, within this conversation is to talk about energy management and avoiding exhaustion.

Because something we all feel. But don't always manage well. Is that energy, especially when, you know, it's the age of back to back virtual meetings, managing your energy is everything. I mean, you know, the zoom fatigue is real. We've been on it for a couple of years and I fear that. It's not going anyway.

So if we're not careful, it'll wipe us out. And if you're anything like me, like those back to back virtual meetings, they wipe me out before lunchtime. I'm done. So how do we as introverts make sure that we're not drained by 3 p. m. in the afternoon and make sure that we sustain our energy and we're even having a little bit of fun while we're at it.

So the first thing I want to suggest, and it's a very obvious one, is to take breaks. But seriously, if your calendar looks like a Jenga tower of back to back meetings, you're doing it wrong. You need those little pockets of time to reset. You want to schedule in at least a five minute break between calls.

Even if it means that you have to, you know, show up a little later or decline a meeting here and there. I feel like this is something that really needs to land with you. And I do this all the time. Use that time to, you know, whatever it is that helps you, open the window, let in some fresh air, stretch, move around, go get a coffee, go out with a dog around the block for, get a coffee, like a fancy coffee from, your favorite barista, whatever it is.

Do use this time to reset your brain before the next round. This is really, really important, not just for your, physical wellbeing, but also for your mental wellbeing, and you will be all the better in that next call. I promise you every call that you decline, 10 minutes before I can join. If it means that you join and you're present, you have just had some fresh air.

You have the mental capacity to be again, you know, on camera to speak up, to contribute, to be quietly present. It means it's a win. It means it adds value, not just to you, not just to your wellbeing, but also to the business and to everyone else in the room. Now, I did want to have that debate of like camera on or off because that's always a question, isn't it?

I mean, every meeting has a different vibe and sometimes it's perfectly okay to stay off camera. I do this too. Like when it's a big town hall meeting when, you know, there is hundreds of people on the call. I don't have anything to say and it's really just for me to digest information. I will be happily off camera for most of the time.

enjoy, you know, a coffee while I'm at it. Maybe even, you know, go for a walk or whatever it is. You don't have to stare. in the virtual abyss for hours, just because like be camera on no matter what, but here's the trick. If the tone of the meeting allows for it and you are not actively presenting, it's okay to switch off the video.

It conserves your energy and research even backs this up. When you're off camera, it reduces that constant self awareness and anxiety of being on stage. You know, that little picture that you see in the corner of yourself. But, and this is a big but, there are exceptions. If it's a wider team meeting, where building trust is key, or you're discussing something important, consider turning your camera on.

Like I said, in these conversations where you show quiet presence, having your camera on can be a game changer. Even if you don't speak up, even if you just have your camera on, people see you nodding along, people see you're there, you're present, you put something in the chat. It shows that you're there.

It's a big, big lever for you as an introvert. So I feel like when it's more intimate settings, when it's workshop settings, when, you know, you have something to contribute, turn your camera on. And then every once in a while, you can turn it off to sustain your energy, to make sure that you don't feel nervous or anxious.

And you actually get that time for yourself. It's all about. Reading the room, being intentional, and showing quiet presence. And, while you're in these meetings, something else that you can do is breathe. And I feel like that's another obvious one, but one that we don't ever really do, do we? Like seriously, practice deep breathing or grounding techniques during meetings.

Now you can do this while someone's, you know, talking while the conversation is going on. No one will notice this. So close your eyes for a second or just kind of like find a quiet space for you. Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then slowly exhale.

See, we can even do this on the podcast. And, I'm the worst. at breathing exercises. I will be the first to get a little frustrated in like a meditation or in like a yoga practice because I feel like I'm not super, super good at box breathing and like breathing deeply. And if you just consider how much time we spend at any given day, sitting on a meeting and you know, we're not always talking.

We can become more intentional with the way we breathe. Again, it can also exude confidence, it can exude, you know, presence. You're there, you're breathing deeply, you're doing something for your physical well being, for your mental well being, and it just takes the edge off. It instantly resets your nervous system and it helps you keep grounded or stay grounded when everything else feels overwhelming and talking about, you know, it being overwhelming.

I think the final thing that I want to say here is that we need to talk about, you know, recovering post meeting, like seriously, after an intense Zoom session after an intense virtual meeting, whether you were more of a quiet observer or you were the one getting one question after another, you've been really engaged, you've been talking a lot, you've been interacting, you need to decompress.

And my personal post Zoom therapy. Is stepping outside for some fresh air during lunchtime. I have this marked in my calendar. I've talked about this a lot on the podcast. I have a dog walk during lunchtime every single day. I'll grab the dog. I'll walk outside. I'll listen to a podcast and I use this time to reset and to decompress.

To get some fresh air and to do whatever it is that is not work related that will have me back on the next Zoom call by whatever it is, 1. 30 or 2 PM in the afternoon, feeling better about myself, feeling refreshed, feeling like I can again, you know, show up, be present and contribute. I feel like meetings are here to stay.

So, We really need to figure them out. We really need to understand how we're going to go about them, how we're going to sustain them. It's not about surviving them. It's about owning them in an introvert friendly way, being present, sustaining our energy, and that's what's going to keep us going. That's what's going to help us thrive in our careers and help us Progress in a way that's going to help us stay sane and thriving and maybe potentially even having some fun while we're at it.

So the secret sauce to crushing virtual meetings as an introvert. It's all about the right preparation, strategic participation, that quiet presence and managing your energy. I know it sounds simple, but when you put these into action, virtual meetings can go from feeling like a draining obligation to something that actually works in your favor.

And here's what I want you to take away. Virtual meetings are a tool and when you use it right. You can lean into your strengths and personality as an introvert and really reap the benefits. Prep beforehand, pick your moments to speak up, manage your energy, and you'll notice the difference. Seriously, I'd love for you to try just one of these strategies in your next meeting and let me know how it went.

You know, we are here every Tuesday and I'm looking to bring a lot more of this unconventional no fluff advice to not only help you survive in corporate, survive your career, but thrive. If you haven't already, please leave a rating or a review wherever you listening to this show. And it really helps us reach more people who could benefit from this advice, from this you know, slightly different approach to being impactful, to speaking up, to sharing our voice as introverts.

And if you know anyone who could benefit from this advice, from this episode in particular, please share it with them. Now that's a wrap for today. I'll see you next time and I hope you stay awfully quiet.