This is an AI transcription, apologies for any typos.

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Doors flung open, and the wind just rushed through the aircraft. It was so cold, I could feel it in my bones.

Mental boundaries can be something that stop a lot of men from progressing in life. But why do they have so much control over us when there's nothing physically holding us back from achieving our goals? Isaac Harvey MBE is a community advocate, who this year received an MB free services to people with disabilities. Having raised money from literally everyone he knew it was time to take on one of the biggest challenges of his life for charity. I'm

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in the middle of this filled and I'm looking around and I'm thinking Where am I? And Brian comes over. And the first thing he says to me is, hey, Isaac, are you ready for this? Are you excited? I look to my right where I could see my friend Ross, give me smiles of encouragement. I was so nervous about this that I just couldn't speak and so much was going through my mind. So that's when I was pushed towards the aircraft. The engines were at the ready. So Brian, my friend Ross, and the other two men who were with us, pushed me forward. And now I was inside. The doors have been shot, and all the money that I've been received from friends and family, I can't turn back now, we start to go up. And the views are starting to look incredible. As I look out the window, I see the Earth getting smaller and smaller, the doors flung open, and the wind just rushed through the aircraft. It was so cold it, I could feel it in my bones. It's becoming very hard to hear anything, as the wind is just so loud. But Brian, on top of his voice says, You ready, Isaac? I came back to the room and I said, oh, sorry, Brian, I am ready, free to one. And this is when I realised I was 14,000 feet high up in the air, just about to do a skydive 1000 miles away from home in America. And now of all places Ohio, with a disability where I have no upper limbs and short legs. And I immediately fought, don't be sick over Brian, don't be sick of a burden. And we jumped. You

have to overcome so many barriers and obstacles to get to this point, how did the opportunity actually come about to do the skydive in the first place.

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So it all began with an opportunity to do a skydiving fundraiser for a charity called the Brentwood Catholic youth service. And they take young people to the south of France, to help the elderly to go on pilgrimage. And I had been going for many years. And I'd loved to see the work that they've done and how they really caring and understanding and allowing people to have this opportunity in France. So I wanted to give it a go. And the idea was skydive was something that I've wanted to do, but I wanted to have a reason behind it. And this was the reason to do it. So I signed up said Yeah, I'd love to get involved. And they said oh, you need to make make this certain amount of money for you to participate. I said that's fine. So by then for, I contact the skydiving company myself, to see if it would be doable because of my disabilities, got complex disabilities, and I wouldn't be able to fit in any, any harness. So I contacted skydiving people. And they basically said with your disabilities, and for health and safety reasons, we won't be able to do that. So I emailed the charity to saying, Look, this is what they've come back with. And they said, Oh, you know, you won't be able to do it. And the first thing the charity said is okay, well then don't don't worry about it. But then I thought No, I actually I want to I want to see if I can actually do this. So I took it upon myself then to contact different airfields in the UK, I emailed at least maybe 10 to 20 different ones. And most of them said no, I even went to Army veteran charity come up with the name now, but to see if they knew if they knew anyone, and they couldn't really direct me anywhere. So it was kind of like, oh, all hope was getting lost at this point. But I then emailed at least one more airfield, and they said, Yes, we can do it. But we will need to get a special harness from America. And I thought oh, okay, this is like a lightbulb moment. And I thought okay, maybe I'll see if I just maybe going to America because I'd never been to America before this. And I'd known from person with similar disabilities who had done a skydive out. I think it was Australia, but they'd done it elsewhere. So I went onto Google searched accessible skydiving. And that's when I discovered the place in Ohio. And since they who were able to do it, and without even giving them many details, and just saying, I want to do a disability skydive, they said yes. And I thought, okay, brilliant, I could do that. And I said, Yeah, I'd love to get involved, did send them my measurements. I had to, because it was so far away. I thought I'd make a trip out of it as well. So I contacted a friend, I've only been a friend for a year. And I said, Oh, would you like to come with me on this on this trip? And he said, Yeah, I would love to support you on this trip. And when I told the charity that I was raising money for they said, well, with some of the money that you've raised, we can put it towards your trip. And I said, No, I'd rather all the money go to you. So I kind of paid on my own back to do this trip. And it ended up being a 10 day trip. And I got there on halfway through our trip. And yeah, it kind of all unfolded from there. Really,

what stopped me from just going, You know what, I'm not going to bother. I skydive when I was about 18, I was part of a society called the freefall society at university. And we all did a solo skydive from about, I don't know, maybe three or 4000 feet, you had to do a six hour training course, in order to qualify to be able to do that, without someone helping you. It was so easy for me to get involved with it. But for you to do it 1000s of miles away from home and with your disability, it must have been quite a challenge.

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It's thanks to my upbringing. And the supportive people I have had around me, and they've always encouraged me to do things, even though I do have a disability. And I've always treated me like no other. So I think that really did help in me wanting to keep pushing and making it happen, even though the easier way out would have been like, well, actually, I'll just stay at home and do nothing. But by doing that, and even though I was ill when I did it, it was an experience. Again, going to America as well, saying I'd never done before getting the visa and all these different things that are all added to like this whole experience. And I did meet some real cool people on the way as well. So yeah, I think it was, it was knowing that if I didn't do that, I wouldn't have had such a adventure. And, and I know the people that I would have met along the way,

you know, as everyone says, life's an adventure, right. And to be able to have those opportunities is not to be sniffed that also, you'd raise so much money from your friends and family. It was almost as if you couldn't back out, right? Yeah.

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So in the end, I raised about 2600 pounds. And I thought I can't let my friends and family down. And knowing where the money was going towards that they were letting them down either. So it was yeah, it was quite conflicting. But when I when I got to the airfield and strapped in, I was like, No, I gotta do this. So it

was at that point that you were like, I've got to do this when you were strapped in? Yeah,

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basically, it was. I just remember in the morning, telling my friend, I don't know if I'm ready for this. But then got a taxi to the airfield, and then got strapped in for it. Now. Let's do this. The

challenge of you getting to that point and actually doing the skydive with your disability, most people wouldn't even expect you to be able to do a skydive at all. What are the day to day challenges that you experience from waking up in the morning to go into bed at night,

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it's pretty much a challenge every day. Not being able to press buttons on lifts, not being able to feed myself when I'm out. And so many different avenues like personal care as well. So not being able to wash or shower myself does come with its challenges. And that's like daily, but I do again have very supportive friends and family who helped me out. And you know, and that's something I'm very grateful for. But on the other hand, it does go a certain way. So, certain distance, it does help because not always my friends and family are available. And act sometimes does make my life very restricting. For example, my friend And who came with me on the skydive had to take time off work to do it with me, because he works a nine to five job like most people. So he had to take time off to do it. And again, I'm very grateful. But that can also be very restrictive because I've, I've wanted to go places because I'm available but no one else is, meaning I've had to pass up opportunities. So it can be quite frustrating in that aspect. And especially now, I'm looking to get more assistance where I wouldn't have to have these restrictions, but government and their schemes can be very restrictive, because as soon as you say that, Oh, yeah, I'm able to do this. So it becomes very restrictive, when you say you can do something, because I have this and this. But as soon as you say that, it's like, well, if you've if you've got that support, you don't need any more support, and not thinking about the bigger picture, thinking, Oh, he's able to do this. But if he had that, if he had the actual support to do it, he could achieve even more. So it's kind of like a bit of a backwards way of thinking. So yeah, it's that's a constant fight as well. Wanting to get these things put in place for

most able bodied people, the challenge would be to actually go ahead and do the skydive. I think for most people, it's their number one on even number two fear, you know, the fear of heights. But every day is a challenge for you, right? Yeah,

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it is. But I don't like to see it as a challenge. Because of like I said, my upbringing, I've kind of gained a bit more of a insight into not getting frustrated over these things. Because I would be labelled as an angry disabled person and getting frustrated all the time. And that's not an energy that I really want to put in. And yeah, as someone who's learned a lot about the mental health journey as well. I don't want to be feeling negative all the time. Because I know that can affect my life can affect my health, in many different ways. And my perspectives of life, I'd rather be a bit more positive and more of a better outlook on life don't have that negativity,

it doesn't serve anyone does it, you know, be negative all the time. Again,

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it would be far easier for me to be angry over these things. Because, like, every day, something I need assistance with when when it goes wrong, or I don't have a it can get very frustrating. But yeah, I don't want to channel that too much,

Isaac, I'm curious, how do you see yourself as a man in society?

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It's, it's weird saying as well, I'm gonna say from what other people say, but as a role model. Because I'm someone who says it very openly and honestly. I'm very realistic in my approach. And I'm definitely going against the norms of society when it comes to being a man. Because I'm, I speak openly about my mental health. I speak about the challenges that I face. But I also speak about how life can be very fulfilling, when I do speak about them authentically, and very realistically, just giving people will approach to life. And yeah, I guess that's going against the norm, where you're not meant to share your emotions, or you got to be the man of the house and things like that. I think I'm kind of just giving people a different perspective.

It's very outdated that men can or won't share their emotions or vulnerabilities. And we know how much this affects people within their lives

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yet why it does, but I still think it's there in some capacity. And some people and how people don't feel brave enough for wanting to open up because they don't know how society is going to perceive it.

I've had some friends recently tell me that they were going through difficulties, but they wouldn't explain what the actual problem was, which I found interesting. Of course, on the flip side, you do get other friends who will tell you everything. So sometimes it's just depending on the person and how much they're willing to go into their vulnerability. So I just decided with those people who wouldn't explain, look, you know, I'll be I'll be there for you. And if you want to talk about it, I'm here. Obviously, we can't force people to open up. Some people will and some people won't. And sometimes it's just a question of time.

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And it's even more of a challenge because you don't force someone to say something either. Because if it doesn't come up naturally, that's when people want it. Shut down even more and don't want to speak about it. But on the other hand, when you do support someone, how far do you go? Because I've, I suppose it's a friend of mine. And where they were, they did open up. But they kept going back to thinking quite negatively. And that took me at least three, four months of my own time to help this person. When I, you know, could be could have been using that time for other things for my own life, but I took it upon myself to help this friend out. But yeah, as I say, Where's the support for the people give it the support,

so people can't be helped. I think it's about being ready at the right time for you can't force anyone to change. And I've tried that so many times, and it just never works. It just drains your energy. And I've got countless examples over the last 20 years of trying to do that. To be honest, I do like being in that position where I can help people. Yeah,

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it's because I can see it from both sides, I was that friend, who didn't really want to open up, because I thought I was alone. And therefore I'd be a bit of a nuisance to speak about, or show vulnerability. I didn't want to show that when, when this was around the time when people were looking up to me. And I thought I can't speak honestly about this, because how people are going to perceive this, and then not really wanting, they wouldn't want to listen to me further. So I became quite blinded by it. And because I wasn't being honest with my audience, I wasn't being honest with myself. And it was just like that cycle, that very vicious cycle. So I do see it from both sides. And when I was when I took it upon myself to be ready, is when is when I did want to start talking to people about it, and people were willing to listen. So yeah, everyone's in different stages of their journey. And sometimes I do get people in different stages of the journey, because I give some people some very profound knowledge of what I've learned, and they don't really get it. And they say, Oh, how did he get it? And he said, Well, no, I gotta take a step back. Because I used to be this.

So you talked about your mental health challenges, what were they and how did you overcome them,

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I mean, there was loads of different aspects. But it was mainly not feeling like I could control my emotions, as well as not feeling internally happy. And that was determined on external factors, such as I wanted to be in a relationship. And I fought it for ultimate happiness was to be in a relationship. So I strive for that finally got into one, and I still wasn't happy. And I'll fall Why am I still not happy, I finally got what I've wanted. And because of that, I became quite selfish. And because I finally got what I wanted, so I need to look after my own feelings here to be happy. And obviously, if you're selfish in a relationship, that doesn't work. So that didn't end up working out. Then there was the idea of, I want to be an influencer, I want to be successful. I want a million subscribers on YouTube. And I want to have this huge voice for I have no idea back then. It was more of the sharing my adventures, because back then I wasn't even talking about disability. I was doing it because I love creating videos. And I was given an opportunity to do this workshop, which won me an award which got me onto television. And I thought okay, this is the big break. Now I'm in newspapers, I'm going to get them into subscribers, I'm finally going to get what I've always wanted. And that didn't end up materialising. So that made me done as well. And then, of course, as I mentioned about the honesty as well, didn't really work out. So all three factors came together. And it got to a bit of a breaking point where I was like, Okay, I need to take a step back and really understand why I'm feeling like I am. And that's where the first thing that came to mind was a film called Lucy. Don't if you've seen that film. So in that film, the protagonist uses more than Timpson of a brain and it shapes our reality. And for some reason, first thing that first came to I've gotten to film a year or so before then, and I typed that into YouTube 10% of your brain. And that's when I came across a guy called Bob Proctor. And he was talking about the law of attraction and and different paradigms and things. And so Okay, now I'm starting to understand life. And how I've been thinking is reality I've been creating. And it was done when I learned about inputs of being honest, and how our internal experiences shape our outer experiences. So that kind of yet basically changed my perspective on life. How

do you feel when you hear about people putting these mental barriers or these boundaries on themselves, to prevent them from excelling or doing the thing that they wanted to do? Because I think about you doing this skydive, and it's so interesting how we can hold ourselves back. How did you overcome that? How did you stop yourself not saying you know what, I'm not going to do this before

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discard that Oh, actually, during the skater, because it was during this point. Because, you know, even though I did enjoy the experience, internally, I wasn't happy during all of this either. So this was during this time, carrying the Olympic torch, skiing and tour ship sailing after the skydive. And all of it just was all this internal feelings, and it really blinded me by what I was actually achieving, and the barriers I was putting up on myself. So I think it's Yeah, taking a step back. And thinking internally, of what, what, what barriers are actually in place? Is it ones that you're putting up? Or is it actual barriers that you have to overcome what both you need to overcome? But it's yeah, looking inwards for an outwards experience. I think, if you want to achieve something, you can you gotta believe in yourself. But yeah, if you feel like, Oh, I can't do it because of this business. Usually, it's your own barriers you're putting up and if you put them up, you can bring them down.

After finishing this episode with Isaac, I just sat back in my chair, and I thought, what would I ask people who've listened to this episode? And the question I thought of is, how many times have you given up on something after just five attempts? How about within 10 or even 15? The fact that Isaac contacted nearly 20 Different skydiving centres in the UK. And not only that, but they all replied, I'm sorry, we can't accommodate you. And he still managed to have the idea to keep going and book one of the only skydiving centres in the world that was able to facilitate his disabilities. Because it really takes a special kind of man to keep going in the face of adversity, and stick to his guns when all the cards were stacked against him. And it got me thinking, Isaac must hear the word no, all the time. He was telling me a story actually, prior to the recording, where he was travelling to a friend's birthday outside of London, I can't remember where and essentially it because the operators at Euston station didn't make the right calls to the station he was travelling to, he wasn't actually able to attend that party. And this took about about two or three hours of his time. Imagine living with your life. Imagine living your life with such constant friction, it will make even an eternal sane turn into a frustrated person. Another thing that's worth pointing out for anyone who's just listening and hasn't checked out the video clip of this episode is that Isaac was actually lying down whilst recording this episode with his head against the pillow. Honestly, honestly, I think if it was me, I would have probably fallen asleep within 10 minutes of my head hitting the pillow. The mental energy, the mental fortitude required to keep going and have such a great stimulating chat with me about his adversities made me come to the realisation that you can operate in almost any circumstances if you really want to, not to mention that we had to pause a few times to tell his grandma to stop talking so loudly in the corridor and for Isaacs patients throughout all that. So the question I asked to you is, what are the boundaries that are holding you back in life? And what could you do to channel Isaac to overcome them?