Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora. And I'm really happy to

be spending some time with you today. I hope you're doing well.

It is December 8, no, it's actually December 9, some people

are getting really anxious about Christmas already. I hope you

can take it. And yeah, very relaxed way. And that you don't

get too stressed out and that you just, yeah, enjoy some time

with family or friends or people that you care about. And I truly

hope that you're not going to be too lonely, especially now with

COVID. It can be very difficult logistically and everything. So

in these times, it is even more important, then ever, to be able

to count on yourself to know that you have tools that anchor

you down that center you they ground you and make you feel

good, no matter what is happening outside of you. It is

truly important for me, to help people be more themselves more

centered, more grounded, because of what's going on at the

moment. And please know that I'm the kind of person who is right

among you, beautiful people.

I'm not hovering above you and got it all figured out. I have

my deep struggles. I have my depression, my constant

friends, friend, that I need to embrace, sometimes harder than

other times. And, yeah, I'm with you in this. And I share what

has helped me in the past and what helps me in the moment. So

everything I share here is just my experience my opinions. And,

yeah, I'm not a medical doctor. But I still feel I could bring

value into your life. If you want to support the show, please

don't hesitate and hop over to Apple podcast and leave me a

review there. It would mean the world to me, because that's kind

of the podcasters currencies. That's how we compete with each

other. And that's how I can Yeah, receive honest feedback

from you as well. And when other people can read this, they can

kind of see what my show is about and what you were learning

and feeling while listening. And then they can decide for

themselves if it's a value to them or not. So let's hop into

today's episode. I'm a little bit nervous about this episode,

because I care so much about this topic. And I'm very

vulnerable when it comes to that topic. So yeah, just a heads up.

I'm super excited to post this today on December 9 2021. So

let's go abusing yourself into health, abusing yourself into

happiness. What do I really mean by that? What I mean by that is

that sometimes we have experienced something in our

lives. That was very uncomfortable, that we don't

want to experience again. And we've learned back then that

changing our lifestyle. Eating healthy exercising on a regular

basis can make you feel better. But some of us Me included we do

this we engage in exercising and food change habits or whatever

you call it to the nth degree. And what I mean by that is that

exercising becomes so important in your life that you start

neglecting your Real well being, and your relationships,

especially, but you're starting to engage in exercising, because

you've learned, okay, that's gonna make you feel good. I want

more of this. So if I exaggerate, it's going to make

me the happiest healthiest person in the world, right?

While that's not how it goes, and that's what I've learned

proximately, 10 years ago, that if you do engage in exercising

with the wrong intentions, so wanting to belong, wanting to,

yeah, be independent, wanting to be strong and resilient, wanting

to be healthy, then you start losing other very valuable

things in your life. And don't get me wrong, it is super cool

to have a constant, a consistent practice. But what I want to

encourage you to look at today is that we need a balance you

need days off, you can be too rigid about your routine,

because then that, again, is going to feel like a chore like

a duty. And you're going to make people feel neglected, as well.

Maybe you've had to work or lived through a lot of

loneliness. And the gym exercising, gave you a sense of

belonging. And you met a couple of really good friends there.

And that's an awesome thing. But I also want you to look at your

relationship outside of your gym, and how you take care of

those. And how you got engaged with strangers on the street?

Are you open hearted? Or are you very narrow minded, and you just

want to get from A to B as fast as possible. I think you get

what I mean, if we get too narrow minded with our focus, we

are actually harming ourselves instead of doing ourselves a

favor. Same goes with emotional health with happiness, it is a

little bit different there. Because there it has more to do

with how we feel internally, and then how we show up to other

people. But it is really important that when we don't

feel good, that we validate that when you're sad, when you're

angry, when you frustrated that you find a way to express

yourself in the most mature way possible. But at the same time,

it is important to not how do I put it into words? To not think

that, okay, this is how it is now, and you're going to be

depressed for the rest of your life. And this is who you are.

So you totally identify with your pain. And you kind of sit

in that pain longer than necessary. That is not what I

mean by that. What I mean by that is truly expressing

yourself. And honoring how you feel validating how you feel.

And then knowing that you will reach out for help if necessary.

And you will not put on a mask until then. Because there might

be people in your life that have a difficult time when you're not

feeling well. Because maybe you are their provider, maybe you

are their constant support and cheerleader, their rock. And

now, if you decide to be sitting with your pain for a little

longer than they feel like is good. They're going to try and

get you out of that. And also because they care for you and

because they don't want to suffer but also because they

want you to see strong that they can't see you in a situation

where they can't 100% depend on you. Do you understand what I

mean? Like it's it's a really tricky situation. So that on one

side, you need to honor and validate that you are in pain.

Second part is to not over indulge in secondary gain,

right, because all of a sudden, you can lean back, maybe people

call more often, or really take care of you physically. And it

starts to feel nice to be in that position, and then you see

no point in getting any better. So to find a balance there, I

want to honor it. But I also want to help myself. And when it

comes to other people, to express how you feel. And then

to not wait and see if they validate how you feel. Because

some people will not, and the people who will, the people that

you can keep very close, and they can help you get better.

But the people who are impatient for you to get better, and are

not trusting you to get better anytime soon. You just keep them

at a gentle distance, and you don't, yeah, let them bully you

out of your situation, you have to heal at your own pace. I'm an

expert in putting these feelings away and wanting to be the

strong shoulder. And I've done it so many times that I've

burned myself out, literally. And it was not fun, because then

it takes even longer to get back onto your feet. Right? I always

let people distract me and entertain me. And then I thought

Yeah, it's not that important. Anyways, my pain and I'm gonna

go with them and let them distract me. But it was not the

right thing to do for me. So I want to talk about it. Because I

feel it is really important to honor your feelings, and to know

that it is okay to feel really shitty at times, and it will get

better and you will you fight your way, you will fight your

way out of it. But it has to be your own journey. Right? One

day, you're going to look back and be so proud of yourself and

you will be able to share your story and help other people. If

you let other people distract you, if you distract yourself,

then it will just be longer suffering. So yeah, when it

comes to abusing yourself and to being healthy and happy. I feel

it's important to I don't know how to say it or not call people

out on it, but to cut through people's bullshit and to next

time when you feel that someone is overdoing it, like

overcompensating. So they're actually not feeling good. And

they want to show up as a strong person in front of you. You just

cut through the bullshit and you ask them, hey, what's really

going on? Are you okay? And some people might totally reject you,

because it's painful, that now people can see that you're not

actually happy. But I think it is important for you, my dear

listener to be equipped with these tools. Because sometimes

we do this unconsciously. And sometimes other people do it

unconsciously. And it is your choice if you call them out on

it or not. I want as a society that we become more transparent

and more resilient to stress in being more transparent, because

it is incredibly liberating. If you find people around you where

you can just say, Hey, I'm having a shit phase. I will be

back soon. Don't worry. And if you choose to wait for me, wait

for me. If not, that's okay as well. Like, I think now that the

whole mental health stigma is shifting and more and more

people are coming out and talking about their depression

about the eating disorders or whatever problem they have. We

become more honest, and honesty results in more resilience. I'm

very, very convinced about that. So yeah, I think that's it for

today. That is my little message for you. If bullshitted my,

myself for many, many years, and now I'm happy to know that I can

be more and more honest with myself and with the people

around me. And when people do not validate how I feel, then

I'm still there for myself. And that feels incredibly

empowering. And I want everybody who's listening to experience

the same. I would burn to know what, what your thoughts are

like, I would love this to be a dialogue more than a monologue.

So if you have any thoughts and feelings coming up, please share

them with me on Facebook, underneath my post here

regarding the episode and or shoot me a message. Let me know

that you are a listener and that you want to comment on my latest

episode, and I will make sure that I get back to you because

yeah, I'm very curious to know how you experienced this. Or

maybe you know, somebody who is suffering and they keep abusing

themselves and they think that our healthy, beautiful body is

all that it takes to be happy. But that is not the truth. We

can be totally dead inside and close to a heart attack. Even

though we exercise all the time and run around all the time and

drink our juices and eat our broccoli. Right. It's emotional

health. It is deep connection to other people that we also need

to be healthy. Hmm, I'm getting really emotional here towards

the end. I don't know why No, I know why it is because it is

such a dear topic to me. And, yeah, I'm just going to let you

go now. Feel free to reach out to post and to let other people

learn about you. And I will be out there very soon again. Thank

you so much for listening. I appreciate you and Leslie. Bye

bye