Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Hey. And welcome back to On Your Terms podcast.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I'm your host, Sam Vander Wielen, an attorney turned entrepreneur who helps online
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:coaches and service providers legally protect and grow their online businesses
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:using my DIY legal templates and the Ultimate Bundle.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:On the show, each week, I bring you fresh tips on how to legally protect your business
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:and grow that business on your terms.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:It's kind of my thing.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I am so excited because today we're going to talk about where to put your value, where
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:to get your value really from in your business, and whose opinion we're really
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:considering when we're creating content, when we're expressing ourselves in our
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:business, kind of creating your brand and your vibe.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:This was inspired by a Frasier episode that I saw the other night, so I'm really excited
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:to get into it with you in a minute.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But I am also excited because next week is my 100th episode of On Your Terms.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I cannot believe that I've done 100 episodes.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:On the one hand, I have to be honest, I feel like it should be like a thousand episodes.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:It feels like a lot. And then on the other, I'm like wow, a hundred, but that's always
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:how I feel about things.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I can't believe it's 100 episodes next week and it's going to be a very special
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:episode. I'm going to give you my best podcast tips and tricks.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:A lot of people have been asking about what equipment I use and how I edit the podcast
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:and how I come up with content and how I've grown it and how I've gotten increased
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:downloads and all that kind of stuff and like how I use that as a podcast funnel.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I'm going to talk about that all next week.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I'm also going to be giving a little giveaway.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I'm going to give a package away of my favorite podcast related items.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So if you already have a podcast or you want to start it, you're definitely going to want
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:to listen because you could win my tech package for a podcast.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So before I get into the episode, I have to give a shout out to Crafty Mama On The Go who
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:shared a review on Apple Podcasts.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:She said, "Sam shares so much value on her podcast, helping the audience to navigate
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:complicated topics in easy-to-understand terms.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I always appreciate learning from her, even on topics that I already have background in.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Special appreciation for her detailed podcast notes and transcripts which help for note
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:taking on these complex topics."
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:If you're listening to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, please do me a favor and quickly
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:leave a rating and review on the podcast.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I would love to give you a shout out in a future episode.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:With that, let's hop into this episode, all inspired by an episode of Frasier.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I don't know if you're like a before bed TV watcher or maybe just like as you wind
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:down. But personally, I really like watching sitcoms that are like cozy, nice, like
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:feeling sitcoms that I know I've also seen before so that I'm not like, too paying
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:attention, right, like before I go to bed.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I can kind of relax. I know what the plot is.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I love the characters.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:They kind of feel like family, yada yada.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I kind of feel like that about Friends.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I really love Will and Grace.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I like love Frasier.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I love Cheers.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I used to watch Cheers a lot when I was a kid.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So any of this kind of like probably nineties.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I'm a nineties kids, like nineties sitcoms, they make me feel really nice before bed.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So as usual, watching one of these and I was watching Frasier.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And it's the episode I'm going to talk about, by the way, is season 3 episode 23 in case
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:you want to go watch it.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But I was watching this episode of Frasier and it's so funny because as, if you've seen
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:it before, you know that Frasier has a radio show a.k.a Modern Day podcast.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And the radio station decides to run a focus group because they want to learn more about
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:what people like about his radio show, what they don't like, all this kind of stuff.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So they bring together this focus group to talk about Frasier show.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:He's behind one of those like two-way mirrors.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And everybody who comes to the focus group is 100 percent positive, like they have
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:nothing to offer as feedback.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:They're like, oh, I love that show.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:He's so great, he's smart, yada, yada.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Except one guy who is the actor, Tony Shalhoub.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And so if you've ever seen Monk or something like that.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So in this episode where Tony Shalhoub is one of the focus group attendees, he's really
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:silent when everybody else is going on and on about how much they love Frasier.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And the focus group coordinator is like, "What about you?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:You haven't said anything." And he's like, "Well, I don't like him."
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:everyone else is saying how much they love him, right?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And they're like, "Well, tell us more." And he's like, "I don't know.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I just don't like it." And Frasier, who's behind the two-way mirror just loses it, like
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:he cannot stand it.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And if you've seen Frasier before, you know,
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Frasier is super self-absorbed and really into himself and goes off on these things and
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:whatever.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:He needs to know why Tony Shalhoub's character does not like him, so he actually
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:tracks him down. He works at or owns a newspaper stand in Seattle.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And so he tracks him down and he pulls up his car outside of his newspaper stand, and
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Frasier makes his father get out of the car to go ask Tony Shalhoub why he doesn't like
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Frasier. And when he asks Tony Shalhoub, Tony says, "I just think he's annoying." And
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:so that's all he'll say.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And he's just like, I just don't like him.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So the dad comes back and tells Frasier, and it's still not good enough for Frasier to
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:know. He's like, now I need to know more.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Like, why does he think I'm annoying?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Why doesn't he like me?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So Frasier goes to talk to himself.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:He drives this guy so crazy that the guy leaves his newsstand.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And in the process, I forget something happens, and essentially the newsstand
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:catches on fire and burns down, like after the guy leaves and as Frasier's standing
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:there.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But like my brain, the way my brain works, well, one of the ways one of the many, many
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:ways, is that whenever I see pretty much anything, I always convert business lessons
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:out of it. So when I saw this, I was like, it's so interesting to me because in this
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:episode I was thinking most people in the online business world, when they would teach
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:you a lesson out of this, what they would say is, don't worry about the one guy, the
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Tony Shalhoub, who didn't like you or thought who you were annoying, like in your
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:audience or online.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Listen to all the others that were in the room, the other 12 in the room, who all
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:thought you were amazing.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:If all these other people love you, then it doesn't matter that that one person doesn't
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:love you.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:there are always going to be people who don't like you, so just pay attention to the ones
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:who do. And I was thinking, that's actually not what I think we should do either.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I actually think we shouldn't listen to any of them because I was thinking as somebody
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:now who's been in business for six years, I was thinking that it's dangerous also to care
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:about and really pay attention too much to the people who do like you too.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:First of all, I mean, I have so many things to think about, to talk with you about today.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But I just think that we have to believe in our own businesses and ourselves more than
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:others. Right. And we can't get that external validation as to whether we're good
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:people or good enough people.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I think this often gets confused and where there's a lot of nuance in this is that it is
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:really important to take feedback about your products, right?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Because you want to create products that are really good for your actual ideal customer,
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:not just stuff that you like.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So we can't kind of have this everyone's opinion be damned approach when it comes to
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:actually creating our products.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But in terms of building an audience, getting feedback, you're going to get a lot of
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:positive feedback and you're going to get some critical or negative or just find out
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:people don't like you or people sometimes yes, make very mean comments.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:That's very rare, but it happens.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And I always say we can't really pay attention to either, because if we pay
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:attention to all the good stuff too, we're still putting our worth and our validation
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:and our kind of like North Star in the positive comments.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And so if I'm going to discount the negative ones, it's not that I discount the positive,
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:but I don't take them to mean that I'm a good person or I'm doing a good job or people
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:like me or don't like me.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Do you know what I mean? It's like we can't really pay attention to either of the
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:extremes.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Like with revenue, I always say to myself and to others, I'm like, you are not your
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:revenue. And so that means you're not your revenue.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:If it's really low, it doesn't mean you're bad, your business is bad, you're not a good
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:coach or a good service provider.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And if your business or your revenue is very, very high, it doesn't mean you're an
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:incredible person who can go around doing whatever the heck you want and never looking
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:back. So I take both.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Like I'm just like, I'm not my revenue either way.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:The revenue is data and it's feedback as to how well the product is doing, but like that
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:doesn't mean anything about me as a person.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:It's not healthy for us to look to anybody else or outside of all this for validation,
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:right? I mean, as humans, it's natural that we all want to be accepted and loved.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And so I'm always very compassionate towards myself.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Something I talked to my therapist about that, of course, you want to be like -- like
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:only -- people who say this whole like, I don't care what anybody thinks, to me and
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:apparently, according to my therapist, I won't speak for her, but I remember her
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:saying that that's a defense mechanism that we put up to say that you can't injure me
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:because I don't care. But really, we do care, which is why you're saying that.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I'm not saying who cares, do whatever you want.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:It's just that we can't only think that we're good or bad based on other people's
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:opinions, which is why I'm bringing up this example of Frazier, because I do think that
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:the majority of the advice that you're given would be just pay attention to the good ones,
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:just pay attention to all the people who love you.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:We're still putting your value in those other people's opinions, right.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:In episode 81, if you haven't listened to it already, I give you a pep talk about
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:believing in your business before other people do, and about being the Phillies, the
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Philadelphia Phillies of your own business.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So one of the reasons why I really believe in this and why I'm bringing it up is because
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:that's a great example of where you might not have that external validation for a
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:while. If you're in the earlier stages of your business, you might not be getting a lot
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:of positive feedback. You might not have a room full of people who are loving you.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:That doesn't mean that, first of all, you're not doing a good job and that you're not very
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:worthy and like a good coach, you also can't act like that because it's almost like you
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:have to act like you already have a room full of people and show up as if they're
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:already there in order to then one day look back and be like, oh wow, there's like a room
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:full of people here now.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Sometimes I kind of feel like that's how my business feels these days.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:It's like I feel like I kind of just showed up anyway.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And I don't feel like I acted like there were a lot of people or like there was a lot
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:of that excitement, but I just kind of didn't pay attention.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Like I just showed up anyway. I didn't really pay attention to it.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And then now I kind of look around sometimes I'm like, oh wow.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I think there are a lot of people here and they have a lot of thoughts.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:It's very interesting.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And I just think that's a healthier way to approach it.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And so if you did listen to episode 81, then you'll remember that my story about the
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Phillies was that the Phillies, my beloved Philadelphia Phillies where I'm from, they
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:were not considered to be a World Series worthy team this past year, to the point
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:where on the day that my father passed away actually, one of the last things he said, we
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:were all standing around his bedside talking and I was sobbing and uncontrollable was that
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:he said something about the Phillies.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:The Phillies were playing the Mets that day.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And he said Phillies win 3 to 2.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:They hadn't even played yet.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:They were playing that afternoon.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:He said this in the morning.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And everybody kind of giggled like, yeah, right, right.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Like the Phillies sucked.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:The Phillies actually won 3 to 2 later that day.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:It was really strange.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:My father was no longer speaking at that time, but it was really wild to see.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But, you know, the point was that , nobody expected them to be any good.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And looking back on it, one of the things I thought was really, really cool about this
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:year's Phillies team was that when they got to the World Series, it was like they
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:believed that they were going there all along and it was kind of like everybody else
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:was getting on board, right?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Like they didn't need everybody to be patting their ego the whole season saying, you guys
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:are a World Series worthy team, or they weren't like the hot team to watch or like,
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:anything like this.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:It was just like, holy, the Phillies got to the World Series.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And it was like everybody else was getting really excited for them, but they were kind
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:of like, yeah, this was the plan.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Like, we're here. This was the plan all along.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I really think it's very important in our business that we look for that within
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:ourselves that you work on really thinking that you're good at what you do, that you
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:have a lot to offer, that you're unique, that you're helpful and useful to people, and
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:that the right people will be attracted to you and find you.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And not that you need to continue to look for people who like you and then try to fit
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:yourself into the mold of whatever that means so that those people will continue to
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:like you, right?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I wouldn't put my value in those 12 people or so who were in Frazier's focus group who
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:loved him, because first of all, I thought, well, they can change, right?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:They can change their opinion.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:They can change their feelings about us.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:We say something that offends them.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:They find out something about us that they don't like, they change, right?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And we can't control that.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And so if we put our likability or our approval rating in their hands, then we're
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:basically saying that we have to keep shapeshifting ourselves to fit into whatever
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:it is that they want, which we can't control, and we don't really know what they
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:want.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Like what do we believe in?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:What do we stand for as ourselves, as business owners.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:What do you want your business's mission to be?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:What do you want your business's values to be?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And what do you want other people to think about when they hear about your business,
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:when they hear about you, when your name pops up?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Not just in terms of your name association.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Like I want my name to pop up when somebody think legal for online businesses, right?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But I also want them to think like cozy, down to earth, nice, decent person.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I want them to think of who I really am.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:That's not like an image.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:This is just like me being myself and who I am.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And so I have to have a really strong idea of what I want that to look like instead of
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:letting other people dictate what that looks like for me.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And I think the key is that by getting really clear on what you stand for and what
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:you don't stand for, you'll attract people who don't just necessarily agree with you
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:hundred percent. We're not necessarily looking for people who just think every
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:single thing that we think and never disagree with us like robots.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Instead, at least for me, I want to attract people who respect me for knowing what I want
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:or appreciate that I share my opinion and that we can have conversation and maybe
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:respectfully disagree or say like I don't love that thing that she does, or this thing
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:is a little different than what I would do.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But like, I really appreciate that she has a good moral compass.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:It doesn't need to be me.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I don't need to see me reflected in everybody else.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And I know that not everyone in my audience thinks like me, agrees with me, wants to have
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:a business or a life that looks like mine.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I know that not everybody is as sarcastic as I am or as dry humored as I am.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:That's okay. And I think most of the time the feedback that I get from people is that
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:they're just inspired by seeing me be myself, right?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Not necessarily because they have every single thing in common.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I think that by being yourself and not trying to be like the person that the 12
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:people in the focus group room think that you are, that you will inspire other people
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:to act more like them.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And I think at the end of the day, that's really what people want to do.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:They want to be themselves.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:They're looking for permission to be more of themselves.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Most people are really inspired by seeing you act like yourself and the people who are
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:not. It's because there's something going on with them that makes them feel like for some
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:reason it's not okay for them to act or to be or to express who they really are.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And you doing that really threatens them, right?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I really personally think instead of you trying to shapeshift and mold yourself into a
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:person who is likeable to the people who you're already attracting, I would just
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:encourage you to be more of yourself and that will inspire you, that will help you to
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:attract people who you inspire because they want to be more like them.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So if I start building my business based on whether or not they like me or agree with
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:everything that I say, I'm not really being inspiring or as successful as I think because
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:that could change, right?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:That can really shift.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But me being myself, I hope that I as a person continue to evolve and change and all
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:this good stuff, but that's going to change.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And the point -- but the thing that remained steady right and the point is that me being
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:myself is what stays the same.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Myself and my qualities can change, but being true to myself can be the kind of steady
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:point that inspires other people to do the same.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So I'm really curious what this brings up for you, what you're thinking.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I know it's really hard in online business because there's a lot of like aspirational
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:marketing and kind of lifestyle marketing where you share things that make people want
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:to like be in your orbit.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But I personally think that it's not all the crap that we like associated with, which is
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:like, oh, she drives a fancy car, she has a fancy house.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Yes, there are going to be people that are attracted to that, whatever.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:But the point to me would be more like people who I'm like, wow, I'm so inspired by how
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:she's so confident, she's so outgoing or I love that she just goes for what she wants,
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:and she does what she wants to do.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:She's really curious.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I love people who are curious.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I love people who are multifaceted.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I love people who are considerate of nuance and who don't make sharp, judgmental, harsh
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:opinions about things.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:That's the kind of stuff that I'm attracted to, not necessarily people who think exactly
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:like I do, drive the same car exactly like I do.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Right.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Where could you stop focusing on creating content from an angle of pleasing other
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:people so that you think that this is what people want to see versus really showing
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:people who you are truly and showing who you are, that you're committed to being yourself
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:and see how that inspires them instead.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I would love for us to stop putting our value in other people's opinions and instead
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:have this within ourselves and let everybody catch up.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So will you do me a favor?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Will you send me a DM and let me know what this brought up for you?
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I'm very, very curious if it was helpful to you at all.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:With that, I'll make sure that I link to the Frasier episode down below.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:I've also got my legally legit checklist for you down below where you can download the
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:five steps to form your business, get paid, protect your content, and so much more.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:So that will be done in the show notes and of course, my free legal workshop, Five Steps
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:to Legally Protect and Grow Your Online Business as well.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Otherwise, my DMS are always open at @SamVanderWielen on Instagram.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:And I can't wait to chat with you later this week.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Thanks so much for listening to the On Your Terms podcast.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:Make sure to follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you like to listen to
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:podcast. You can also check out all of our podcast episodes, show notes, links and more
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:at samvanderwielen.com/podcast.
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:You can learn more about legally protecting your business and take my free legal
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:workshop, Five Steps to Legally Protect and Grow Your Online Business at samvanderwielen
Sam Vander Wielen:
Speaker:.com. And to stay connected and follow along, follow me on Instagram at @SamVanderWielen