1 00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:28,745 Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Wedding Lounge podcast. 2 00:00:28,745 --> 00:00:33,705 Today we are talking about RSVPs, I'm licking your RSVPs. 3 00:00:33,705 --> 00:00:35,625 You know what RSVP means? 4 00:00:35,625 --> 00:00:36,425 Me? Yeah. 5 00:00:36,425 --> 00:00:38,105 Responday, civil play. 6 00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:39,625 Responday, voo, civil play. 7 00:00:39,625 --> 00:00:40,585 Oh, can we cut that out? 8 00:00:40,585 --> 00:00:46,345 Responday. 9 00:00:46,345 --> 00:00:47,625 Responday, voo. 10 00:00:47,625 --> 00:00:48,345 Oh, yes, civil play. 11 00:00:48,345 --> 00:00:49,305 It's my planet, isn't it? 12 00:00:49,305 --> 00:00:52,185 Yeah, so respond, you respond, please. 13 00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:56,905 So when people put RSVP, please, it's like, please, please, please, please. 14 00:00:56,905 --> 00:00:59,945 So it always gets me every time. 15 00:00:59,945 --> 00:01:01,865 It's like when someone says pin number. 16 00:01:01,865 --> 00:01:04,105 Pin is personal identification number. 17 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:06,105 Yes, it's same sort of thing. 18 00:01:06,105 --> 00:01:08,985 So you're saying please when you're saying RSVP, 19 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:13,065 you don't need to say please RSVP by, which I always find quite interesting. 20 00:01:13,065 --> 00:01:13,945 No. 21 00:01:13,945 --> 00:01:15,785 Really interesting. 22 00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:16,905 Exactly. 23 00:01:16,905 --> 00:01:18,905 I'm getting over excited about it. 24 00:01:18,905 --> 00:01:22,025 I like RSVPs, I do like language, 25 00:01:22,025 --> 00:01:24,265 but I was just not prepared for that take right now. 26 00:01:24,265 --> 00:01:26,185 Copies, isn't it? 27 00:01:26,185 --> 00:01:27,705 Yeah, right. 28 00:01:27,705 --> 00:01:31,225 Moving on after my epic failure of a French lesson. 29 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:31,865 Yeah. 30 00:01:31,865 --> 00:01:34,345 So your RSVP is, that's interesting, you know, 31 00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:36,105 whether they can or cannot attend. 32 00:01:36,105 --> 00:01:40,425 One of the most important things to think about, to start with, 33 00:01:40,425 --> 00:01:43,465 is being clear on your invitations, 34 00:01:43,465 --> 00:01:45,705 how guests should RSVP? 35 00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,465 There are different ways, aren't there? 36 00:01:47,465 --> 00:01:48,665 There are so many different ways. 37 00:01:48,665 --> 00:01:51,625 And guests will also respond in different ways, 38 00:01:51,625 --> 00:01:53,305 and do not argue asking. 39 00:01:53,305 --> 00:01:54,105 Yeah. 40 00:01:54,105 --> 00:01:57,705 So be prepared to either go back and say, 41 00:01:57,705 --> 00:01:59,465 "Please can you RSVP through the website?" 42 00:01:59,465 --> 00:02:03,145 Or can you send us a WhatsApp, if you want, 43 00:02:03,145 --> 00:02:04,425 a WhatsApp communication, 44 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:08,665 or please respond to the correct email address that we've asked you to? 45 00:02:08,665 --> 00:02:10,345 Or you can include little cards. 46 00:02:10,345 --> 00:02:13,705 You can include nothing, which is traditionally, 47 00:02:13,705 --> 00:02:17,145 and then traditionally you'd get a response back 48 00:02:17,145 --> 00:02:20,665 that's written in the same format as your invitation. 49 00:02:20,665 --> 00:02:23,545 Yes, so you can either ask for a digital response 50 00:02:23,545 --> 00:02:25,385 or from my post. 51 00:02:25,385 --> 00:02:26,185 Yeah. 52 00:02:26,185 --> 00:02:29,385 The nice thing, I think, a lot of people are choosing to do it 53 00:02:29,385 --> 00:02:30,665 through their wedding websites now. 54 00:02:30,665 --> 00:02:31,945 And the nice thing about that, 55 00:02:31,945 --> 00:02:34,425 is that it relates all the information for you. 56 00:02:34,425 --> 00:02:37,305 You can get direct requirements on it. 57 00:02:37,305 --> 00:02:40,585 You can get all the information that you need 58 00:02:40,585 --> 00:02:42,505 to take forward. 59 00:02:42,505 --> 00:02:42,905 Yes. 60 00:02:42,905 --> 00:02:45,625 If there are children coming, if they have pushchairs, 61 00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,385 if they have any special requirements. 62 00:02:47,385 --> 00:02:48,185 Need a high chair. 63 00:02:48,185 --> 00:02:49,065 Need a high chair. 64 00:02:49,065 --> 00:02:50,505 If it's a whole weekend event, 65 00:02:50,505 --> 00:02:51,225 you could put on there, 66 00:02:51,225 --> 00:02:53,545 do they want feeding on the Friday night? 67 00:02:53,545 --> 00:02:55,225 Do they want accommodation? 68 00:02:55,225 --> 00:02:56,745 Do they want transport? 69 00:02:56,745 --> 00:02:58,425 And with something digitally, 70 00:02:58,425 --> 00:03:01,705 you can obviously format it so that they want to respond. 71 00:03:01,705 --> 00:03:02,425 Yes. 72 00:03:02,425 --> 00:03:04,345 So, you know, if you ask people questions, 73 00:03:04,345 --> 00:03:05,785 and then they respond via post, 74 00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:06,745 but they haven't answered everything, 75 00:03:06,745 --> 00:03:08,025 you've then got to chase them. 76 00:03:08,025 --> 00:03:09,865 So, as Natasha says, 77 00:03:09,865 --> 00:03:11,385 doing it through a website and things, 78 00:03:11,385 --> 00:03:14,345 you can make sure that they're providing all the information 79 00:03:14,345 --> 00:03:15,225 that you need. 80 00:03:15,225 --> 00:03:19,785 I think it's also really important to have a realistic 81 00:03:19,785 --> 00:03:21,705 RSVP by date. 82 00:03:21,705 --> 00:03:23,145 Yes. 83 00:03:23,145 --> 00:03:27,065 So, giving your guests a deadline to respond. 84 00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:28,825 But not one that's so sure, 85 00:03:28,825 --> 00:03:31,145 it's tricky for them to reply by. 86 00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,265 It's not so long. 87 00:03:32,265 --> 00:03:34,825 They've got so much time that it goes on the fridge 88 00:03:34,825 --> 00:03:36,745 and then they don't look at it again. 89 00:03:36,745 --> 00:03:38,265 And you're still having to chase them. 90 00:03:38,265 --> 00:03:41,225 I typically advise around a month. 91 00:03:41,225 --> 00:03:42,105 I don't know about you. 92 00:03:42,105 --> 00:03:43,305 Yeah, you don't want it too long. 93 00:03:43,305 --> 00:03:44,825 You've also got to think about 94 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,185 who needs that information, 95 00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:48,185 as well as yourself, like caterers, 96 00:03:48,185 --> 00:03:50,105 and when they need it by quite often, 97 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,825 it can be six weeks out, or it could be four weeks. 98 00:03:52,825 --> 00:03:57,705 So, I would always recommend couples to ask for their RSVPs 99 00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,545 few weeks before that deadline. 100 00:03:59,545 --> 00:04:01,145 So, they do have time to chase. 101 00:04:01,145 --> 00:04:03,305 And you're not having the caterer chase you. 102 00:04:03,305 --> 00:04:04,985 You've got a bit of a buffer, I guess. 103 00:04:04,985 --> 00:04:07,945 The other thing that you need to wait till you've had 104 00:04:07,945 --> 00:04:09,305 all your guest responses for, 105 00:04:09,305 --> 00:04:10,665 is doing your tableclap? 106 00:04:10,665 --> 00:04:11,385 Yes. 107 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:15,545 Which is quite a, that is a daunting task on itself. 108 00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:19,065 We've done an episode on how to take it, 109 00:04:19,065 --> 00:04:20,265 hearing people up, 110 00:04:20,265 --> 00:04:21,945 then putting people into fours, 111 00:04:21,945 --> 00:04:23,465 and then working out your tables, 112 00:04:23,465 --> 00:04:24,825 and how to sort of record that. 113 00:04:24,825 --> 00:04:27,465 So, if you haven't done your seating plan yet, 114 00:04:27,465 --> 00:04:30,025 which if you haven't got your RSVPs that you won't. 115 00:04:30,025 --> 00:04:30,745 Yeah. 116 00:04:30,745 --> 00:04:33,065 Then, I'm just a don't bother doing your seating plan 117 00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,505 until you have your RSVPs. 118 00:04:34,505 --> 00:04:36,265 No, unnecessary stress. 119 00:04:36,265 --> 00:04:36,825 Yep. 120 00:04:36,825 --> 00:04:39,785 But, yeah, don't have a listen to that seating plan episode as well. 121 00:04:39,785 --> 00:04:42,905 You need to think about your ceremony seating as well. 122 00:04:42,905 --> 00:04:44,345 So, with those special requirements, 123 00:04:44,345 --> 00:04:47,785 if you've got someone who perhaps has broken their leg 124 00:04:47,785 --> 00:04:50,905 and needs a chair in XYZ place, 125 00:04:50,905 --> 00:04:53,145 if you're gathering that information close 126 00:04:53,145 --> 00:04:54,345 enough to the wedding date, 127 00:04:54,345 --> 00:04:55,145 yeah. 128 00:04:55,145 --> 00:04:58,185 Then, you can utilize all that information. 129 00:04:58,185 --> 00:04:58,825 Yes. 130 00:04:58,825 --> 00:05:00,825 Which works out quite nicely. 131 00:05:00,825 --> 00:05:02,905 And as well, if you're doing any sort of booking 132 00:05:02,905 --> 00:05:04,345 accommodation for guests, 133 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,025 I know you mentioned, obviously, 134 00:05:06,025 --> 00:05:08,585 having a wedding weekend and asking for more information 135 00:05:08,585 --> 00:05:09,545 in your RSVP, 136 00:05:09,545 --> 00:05:11,225 but make sure that you've got all that information 137 00:05:11,225 --> 00:05:12,985 and you can get what you need. 138 00:05:12,985 --> 00:05:13,945 Yeah, are they glamping? 139 00:05:13,945 --> 00:05:15,225 How many people are going in there? 140 00:05:15,225 --> 00:05:16,825 Do they need bedding in there? 141 00:05:16,825 --> 00:05:19,625 Or are they going to just bring a block bed themselves? 142 00:05:19,625 --> 00:05:19,785 Yeah. 143 00:05:19,785 --> 00:05:21,705 All of this information that you need to find out, 144 00:05:21,705 --> 00:05:24,905 you might actually need that back a bit earlier. 145 00:05:24,905 --> 00:05:25,545 Yeah. 146 00:05:25,545 --> 00:05:27,145 And then, the important information, 147 00:05:27,145 --> 00:05:28,905 like, if they have any allergies. 148 00:05:28,905 --> 00:05:30,185 Yes, that's quite key. 149 00:05:30,185 --> 00:05:32,985 I mean, most people know their close friends 150 00:05:32,985 --> 00:05:35,065 and whether they've got dietary requirements. 151 00:05:35,065 --> 00:05:36,345 But there's always one that crops up 152 00:05:36,345 --> 00:05:37,785 isn't there that you don't know about. 153 00:05:37,785 --> 00:05:40,185 Well, I had a brilliant one for a client last summer, 154 00:05:40,185 --> 00:05:43,225 where I was using their wedding email address 155 00:05:43,225 --> 00:05:45,065 with all the RSVPs were meant to come. 156 00:05:45,065 --> 00:05:48,105 I was going through reading the RSVPs 157 00:05:48,105 --> 00:05:50,025 and updating the spreadsheet for my couple. 158 00:05:50,025 --> 00:05:53,305 And people weren't putting dietary requirements in. 159 00:05:53,305 --> 00:05:55,145 And then someone just put, 160 00:05:55,145 --> 00:05:56,665 "Oh, you know my dietary requirements." 161 00:05:56,665 --> 00:05:58,025 It's my day. 162 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,705 So, yeah, and even then, 163 00:05:59,705 --> 00:06:01,945 the couple who had only noted her down as Celiac, 164 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:05,065 but she also had a close intolerance or something. 165 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,185 I can't remember what it was. 166 00:06:06,185 --> 00:06:09,065 And I found that really challenging, 167 00:06:09,065 --> 00:06:11,065 because people just assume, I think, even if, 168 00:06:11,065 --> 00:06:13,225 I know my best friend has a peanut allergy, 169 00:06:13,225 --> 00:06:16,105 but I wouldn't probably be able to just tell you any of my other... 170 00:06:16,105 --> 00:06:19,465 No, I've got my brother's got a banana allergy. 171 00:06:19,465 --> 00:06:21,305 Like, it's the first brand. 172 00:06:21,305 --> 00:06:24,025 Yeah, bananas and kiwis. 173 00:06:24,025 --> 00:06:26,425 Oh, not something you necessarily think of. 174 00:06:26,425 --> 00:06:29,625 So, and then he's like, like, closest family. 175 00:06:29,625 --> 00:06:30,745 Yes, yeah. 176 00:06:30,745 --> 00:06:34,985 So, it's really important that you make it clear to guess. 177 00:06:34,985 --> 00:06:36,505 They need to let you know. 178 00:06:36,505 --> 00:06:40,345 And if your papalus post I find is quite tricky for this one, 179 00:06:40,345 --> 00:06:42,985 when I've used papalus post clients in the past, 180 00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,065 it doesn't put... 181 00:06:45,065 --> 00:06:46,985 Who was the dietary requirement? 182 00:06:46,985 --> 00:06:47,785 Yeah. 183 00:06:47,785 --> 00:06:52,425 So, it's making sure that you either go back and clarify 184 00:06:52,425 --> 00:06:55,385 who it is out of the apple or who it is out of the family 185 00:06:55,385 --> 00:06:56,985 as the dietary requirement, 186 00:06:56,985 --> 00:06:58,425 or that guests are saying... 187 00:06:58,425 --> 00:07:01,785 Alison has a nut allergy. 188 00:07:01,785 --> 00:07:06,745 I found that before when RSVPing myself as a guest, digitally. 189 00:07:06,745 --> 00:07:09,225 I mean, this was fair few years ago, so things have come on, 190 00:07:09,225 --> 00:07:12,585 but it just said how many guests do you RSVPing for? 191 00:07:12,585 --> 00:07:16,665 And then, if that's, say, a family of four of you, 192 00:07:16,665 --> 00:07:20,345 but the children are away on a school ski or something, 193 00:07:20,345 --> 00:07:22,025 means they're two, like, it's not. 194 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,465 You need to make it obviously two, it is. 195 00:07:23,465 --> 00:07:24,505 Is it mom and child? 196 00:07:24,505 --> 00:07:26,665 I mean, obviously it's not going to be two children without the two adults. 197 00:07:26,665 --> 00:07:27,385 Why not? 198 00:07:27,385 --> 00:07:28,505 That'll be a great day out. 199 00:07:28,505 --> 00:07:30,665 Sometimes you've got to make sure that it's really clear 200 00:07:30,665 --> 00:07:35,385 as to who is RSVPing and who has the specific allergies and things. 201 00:07:35,385 --> 00:07:39,785 We've touched upon it about just having one place for RSVP, 202 00:07:39,785 --> 00:07:42,585 as you said, if someone then comes up to you and says, 203 00:07:42,585 --> 00:07:44,025 "Oh, yeah, I'm coming. 204 00:07:44,025 --> 00:07:46,425 Make sure they are RSVP in the proper way, 205 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,025 so that they're all in one place." 206 00:07:48,025 --> 00:07:48,265 Yeah. 207 00:07:48,265 --> 00:07:49,785 Because, again, this couple last year, 208 00:07:49,785 --> 00:07:51,385 they had people WhatsAppping, 209 00:07:51,385 --> 00:07:53,145 and then I had guests on the guest list. 210 00:07:53,145 --> 00:07:54,905 And she was, "Oh, no, they've WhatsAppped me since," 211 00:07:54,905 --> 00:07:55,945 and said that we're not coming. 212 00:07:55,945 --> 00:07:59,705 And I'm like, "Okay, but they've RSVPed officially here, 213 00:07:59,705 --> 00:08:00,905 not updated." 214 00:08:00,905 --> 00:08:01,385 Yeah. 215 00:08:01,385 --> 00:08:02,425 And just let people know. 216 00:08:02,425 --> 00:08:04,265 And it's just, yeah. 217 00:08:04,265 --> 00:08:07,465 Sometimes it's case of too many cases as well. 218 00:08:07,465 --> 00:08:10,185 Like, if they're RSVPing's too many places, 219 00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,185 I think if you've just got a blanket response 220 00:08:12,185 --> 00:08:13,385 that you can do, like I say. 221 00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:14,185 Thanks so much. 222 00:08:14,185 --> 00:08:15,545 Really excited you're coming. 223 00:08:15,545 --> 00:08:18,105 Or, "Oh, I'm really sorry, you can't make it." 224 00:08:18,105 --> 00:08:20,825 "Please, could you just go through our wedding website?" 225 00:08:20,825 --> 00:08:23,865 Or, "Please, could you just email Mum?" 226 00:08:23,865 --> 00:08:26,905 Or whoever it is who's collating that information, 227 00:08:27,705 --> 00:08:30,585 just to make sure it's all in one place. 228 00:08:30,585 --> 00:08:33,705 Because as well, if you want to go back 229 00:08:33,705 --> 00:08:35,945 or need to go back and look through all that information, 230 00:08:35,945 --> 00:08:38,905 again, say you've been on holiday for a week, 231 00:08:38,905 --> 00:08:41,465 you're then trying to find all these different RSVPs 232 00:08:41,465 --> 00:08:43,145 to make sure you're up to date as well. 233 00:08:43,145 --> 00:08:45,545 And that can be quite stressful and daunting task. 234 00:08:45,545 --> 00:08:47,065 If you've just got one place to look, 235 00:08:47,065 --> 00:08:48,265 you can see what's on red. 236 00:08:48,265 --> 00:08:52,745 I do also think that sometimes family are the worst at RSVPing. 237 00:08:52,745 --> 00:08:53,625 Yes, they are. 238 00:08:53,625 --> 00:08:55,385 Because they just assume. 239 00:08:55,385 --> 00:08:58,425 I made my parents RSVP because they're like, "Well, you know, 240 00:08:58,425 --> 00:09:00,825 there's always a bother saying you're attending." 241 00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:03,065 Or even like cousins and aunties are like, 242 00:09:03,065 --> 00:09:04,265 "This will be there." 243 00:09:04,265 --> 00:09:06,825 But it's not, of course, because if they hadn't 244 00:09:06,825 --> 00:09:09,865 a holiday band for something, you know, 245 00:09:09,865 --> 00:09:12,265 a graduation speech important. 246 00:09:12,265 --> 00:09:15,465 So I think that it's quite important not to have 247 00:09:15,465 --> 00:09:18,425 too much information on your RSVPs. 248 00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:18,665 Yes. 249 00:09:18,665 --> 00:09:20,105 Sorry. 250 00:09:20,105 --> 00:09:20,505 Yeah. 251 00:09:20,505 --> 00:09:21,465 The Mallory Mallory. 252 00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:22,505 I know you listened to this. 253 00:09:23,065 --> 00:09:27,305 The RSVPs for my brother's wedding had, 254 00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:29,705 I think, without 20 questions. 255 00:09:29,705 --> 00:09:32,585 You have to go through an answer. 256 00:09:32,585 --> 00:09:34,665 Are you coming to the Friday? 257 00:09:34,665 --> 00:09:37,705 Do you require lunch on the Friday? 258 00:09:37,705 --> 00:09:39,625 Do you require dinner on the Friday? 259 00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:42,105 Do you require breakfast on the Saturday? 260 00:09:42,105 --> 00:09:44,905 Do you require lunch on the Saturday? 261 00:09:44,905 --> 00:09:46,665 Are you coming to the Saturday meal? 262 00:09:46,665 --> 00:09:48,505 Do you have any direct requirements? 263 00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:51,225 Do you need transport or you be bringing a car? 264 00:09:51,225 --> 00:09:54,505 There was endless questions at the point where I actually 265 00:09:54,505 --> 00:09:56,505 messaged my sister and daughter to be in. 266 00:09:56,505 --> 00:09:59,865 I was just like, "I don't know the answer to all of these. 267 00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:01,785 What am I supposed to do in all these?" 268 00:10:01,785 --> 00:10:02,745 Yeah, I should. 269 00:10:02,745 --> 00:10:05,065 And obviously for us, because we were kind of part, 270 00:10:05,065 --> 00:10:07,305 bride or party partner, I was like, 271 00:10:07,305 --> 00:10:10,025 "When do I need to say I need feeding? 272 00:10:10,025 --> 00:10:11,865 And when am I being fed?" 273 00:10:11,865 --> 00:10:17,065 It's making sure that you're condensing that information 274 00:10:17,065 --> 00:10:18,665 to keep it simple. 275 00:10:19,225 --> 00:10:21,145 Was you trying to get fed up? 276 00:10:21,145 --> 00:10:22,425 I mean, I got fed up. 277 00:10:22,425 --> 00:10:24,665 I'm just trying to think of the way to do that. 278 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,025 I think initially you could start with, 279 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:27,225 "Are you actually coming to the wedding?" 280 00:10:27,225 --> 00:10:28,905 And then have like a further... 281 00:10:28,905 --> 00:10:30,745 Yeah, people can actually RSVP going, 282 00:10:30,745 --> 00:10:31,865 "Yes, I'm there." 283 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:32,745 And then... 284 00:10:32,745 --> 00:10:34,185 With direct requirements. 285 00:10:34,185 --> 00:10:36,585 And then have something either comes out separately 286 00:10:36,585 --> 00:10:38,745 for guests who might be saying Friday or Saturday, 287 00:10:38,745 --> 00:10:40,585 yet to let you know. 288 00:10:40,585 --> 00:10:43,945 Because when we've done our episode on day two 289 00:10:43,945 --> 00:10:44,985 or the night before, we have said, 290 00:10:44,985 --> 00:10:46,825 "Make sure you get proper RSVPs." 291 00:10:46,825 --> 00:10:49,145 So, Mallory is doing that properly. 292 00:10:49,145 --> 00:10:49,865 She is doing it right. 293 00:10:49,865 --> 00:10:51,545 But it's just a lot of... 294 00:10:51,545 --> 00:10:52,345 A lot of information. 295 00:10:52,345 --> 00:10:53,945 Maybe just focus on the actual wedding 296 00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:55,465 and then do something different 297 00:10:55,465 --> 00:10:57,545 for the celebrations surrounding it. 298 00:10:57,545 --> 00:10:58,345 Maybe once you've... 299 00:10:58,345 --> 00:10:59,705 Because then you might have had a chance 300 00:10:59,705 --> 00:11:01,385 to have conversations with her 301 00:11:01,385 --> 00:11:02,345 and know what you are. 302 00:11:02,345 --> 00:11:04,505 This also went out with the Save the Day. 303 00:11:04,505 --> 00:11:06,585 And not the invitation hasn't come out yet. 304 00:11:06,585 --> 00:11:07,785 Well, so that was the Save the Day. 305 00:11:07,785 --> 00:11:08,585 Yeah. 306 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,945 You don't ask for responses normally 307 00:11:09,945 --> 00:11:10,985 of the Save the Day, do you? 308 00:11:10,985 --> 00:11:13,385 Or more of my couples are. 309 00:11:13,385 --> 00:11:13,945 No. 310 00:11:13,945 --> 00:11:15,305 I'm sure I've said this before 311 00:11:15,305 --> 00:11:17,785 that I don't believe in Save the Day. 312 00:11:17,785 --> 00:11:18,425 Yes. 313 00:11:18,425 --> 00:11:20,745 I feel that you're close friends 314 00:11:20,745 --> 00:11:21,945 and the people you really want there, 315 00:11:21,945 --> 00:11:23,225 you will tell the date too. 316 00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:25,705 And for everyone else, 317 00:11:25,705 --> 00:11:27,705 they'll either find out that information. 318 00:11:27,705 --> 00:11:30,185 But things change in the years of a year 319 00:11:30,185 --> 00:11:31,865 and sending out those Save the Days. 320 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:34,265 You might have a couple who split up in that time. 321 00:11:34,265 --> 00:11:36,585 Who are you then inviting? 322 00:11:36,585 --> 00:11:37,785 Are you inviting both of them? 323 00:11:37,785 --> 00:11:39,305 Are you inviting them separately? 324 00:11:39,305 --> 00:11:40,185 How does that work? 325 00:11:40,185 --> 00:11:41,465 I just think there's so much 326 00:11:41,465 --> 00:11:43,465 that can happen in the space of a year. 327 00:11:44,185 --> 00:11:46,745 It's not necessarily worth sending Save the Days 328 00:11:46,745 --> 00:11:48,345 on getting RSVPs to them. 329 00:11:48,345 --> 00:11:49,145 Oh, yeah. 330 00:11:49,145 --> 00:11:51,225 I tend to think of Save the Days 331 00:11:51,225 --> 00:11:52,985 as just going out, saving the date. 332 00:11:52,985 --> 00:11:55,145 And if it's not that worried about saving the date, 333 00:11:55,145 --> 00:11:55,945 don't save the date. 334 00:11:55,945 --> 00:11:58,905 But if it's someone who is important 335 00:11:58,905 --> 00:12:00,505 for fraud, by doing. 336 00:12:00,505 --> 00:12:01,145 Yeah, definitely. 337 00:12:01,145 --> 00:12:02,985 Or sending out the invitation far enough. 338 00:12:02,985 --> 00:12:05,065 I think people are so keen 339 00:12:05,065 --> 00:12:07,305 to make sure everyone is coming. 340 00:12:07,305 --> 00:12:10,185 They get, I think people try really hard 341 00:12:10,185 --> 00:12:11,545 to make sure everyone comes. 342 00:12:11,545 --> 00:12:12,105 Yeah. 343 00:12:12,105 --> 00:12:13,705 And it's just not going to be that way. 344 00:12:13,705 --> 00:12:16,665 They might even RSVPs saying they're coming 345 00:12:16,665 --> 00:12:19,625 and then they step down with an illness the week before. 346 00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:22,505 And that's another thing with managing RSVPs. 347 00:12:22,505 --> 00:12:23,785 You're going to have to keep it updated. 348 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,465 Someone might RSVPs, yes. 349 00:12:25,465 --> 00:12:26,905 But then that might be, 350 00:12:26,905 --> 00:12:28,825 it might be a great answer and auntie 351 00:12:28,825 --> 00:12:30,265 and they've been waiting for an operation. 352 00:12:30,265 --> 00:12:32,105 And then they find out sort of two months before. 353 00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:34,105 Actually, that operation is going to take place that week 354 00:12:34,105 --> 00:12:35,305 and they won't be able to come. 355 00:12:35,305 --> 00:12:38,025 Yeah, I remember at the time my late mother-in-law 356 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:40,105 was waiting for an operation 357 00:12:40,105 --> 00:12:41,785 and we told her the wedding date and she was like, 358 00:12:41,785 --> 00:12:44,025 well, she said I might be having an operation a few weeks before. 359 00:12:44,025 --> 00:12:47,065 And we were like, well, you need to come. 360 00:12:47,065 --> 00:12:49,145 And you know, you're wheelchair, whatever you need. 361 00:12:49,145 --> 00:12:52,025 Or just could you have the operation afterwards? 362 00:12:52,025 --> 00:12:53,305 She was like, hey, you know, 363 00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,465 it wasn't like a life-threatening surgery. 364 00:12:55,465 --> 00:12:58,025 Something that and you do get some flexibility 365 00:12:58,025 --> 00:12:59,545 of saying date won't work for me. 366 00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:02,105 I'm sure if they said, if she said it was my son's wedding 367 00:13:02,105 --> 00:13:03,545 two days after the operation date, 368 00:13:03,545 --> 00:13:04,985 they'd say, okay, we'll look at the following week. 369 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:07,065 Yeah, but people do change. 370 00:13:07,065 --> 00:13:09,785 And so it's also important to update your list regularly. 371 00:13:09,785 --> 00:13:13,065 Yeah. And how would you suggest to couples? 372 00:13:13,065 --> 00:13:16,425 How do you manage RSVP lists? 373 00:13:16,425 --> 00:13:19,065 I have a spreadsheet and I put it on a Google drive 374 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:22,425 for my clients and I to look at so that they can update 375 00:13:22,425 --> 00:13:23,865 because it depends. 376 00:13:23,865 --> 00:13:25,865 Some people like receiving WhatsApp, 377 00:13:25,865 --> 00:13:28,265 in which case I'm obviously not really involved in that. 378 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,785 It's obviously their personal phones 379 00:13:29,785 --> 00:13:32,185 or if it's being posted to the parent's house 380 00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:33,145 unless they give them to me. 381 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,385 If it's an email address that I have access to, 382 00:13:35,385 --> 00:13:36,665 I will update her. 383 00:13:36,665 --> 00:13:39,145 I guess you could still have that Google sheet set up, 384 00:13:39,145 --> 00:13:40,585 though, and you can share it with it. 385 00:13:40,585 --> 00:13:42,905 It's going to the mother of the bride's house, for example. 386 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,305 Well, she could update it, exactly. 387 00:13:45,305 --> 00:13:49,065 But my biggest bug bet is when people do spreadsheets 388 00:13:49,065 --> 00:13:50,745 and they put the first name and the second name 389 00:13:50,745 --> 00:13:51,705 the same as now. 390 00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,465 Well, I know it's-- 391 00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:54,585 We actually have to edit. 392 00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:57,625 Oh, yeah, I then literally make it. 393 00:13:57,625 --> 00:13:59,705 So it's got, or people use nicknames. 394 00:13:59,705 --> 00:14:00,185 Yes. 395 00:14:00,185 --> 00:14:01,465 And you know, I have-- 396 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:03,865 And then the RSVP comes through and it's not from nicknames. 397 00:14:03,865 --> 00:14:05,625 Yes, and you're trying to do this person. 398 00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:06,585 Exactly. 399 00:14:06,585 --> 00:14:07,865 I think use proper names. 400 00:14:07,865 --> 00:14:10,105 If they have a nickname, put it in brackets somewhere. 401 00:14:10,105 --> 00:14:11,625 Or like notes that it's obvious. 402 00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:16,025 But I would 100% say have your first name and second name 403 00:14:16,025 --> 00:14:16,865 in separate columns. 404 00:14:16,865 --> 00:14:19,865 Because then when you want to put it in an alphabetical list 405 00:14:19,865 --> 00:14:23,065 or put it in by tables, it's just so much easier 406 00:14:23,065 --> 00:14:25,065 to manipulate the data in different ways 407 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,545 if it's already separated. 408 00:14:26,545 --> 00:14:28,185 That is my most important thing. 409 00:14:28,185 --> 00:14:30,145 And I mean, I've got a client this year 410 00:14:30,145 --> 00:14:31,945 and they're keeping track of who they've 411 00:14:31,945 --> 00:14:34,665 sent, say, if the date's too, but just on one of the couple's 412 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,705 phones, not in a spreadsheet. 413 00:14:36,705 --> 00:14:39,105 And so she was like sending a screenshot to mother-in-law 414 00:14:39,105 --> 00:14:40,425 to make sure that she had sent. 415 00:14:40,425 --> 00:14:42,585 And I said, just send me what you have. 416 00:14:42,585 --> 00:14:43,985 And I will put it in a separate notes. 417 00:14:43,985 --> 00:14:44,985 Is it a list on notes? 418 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:45,945 Yeah, I think so, very right. 419 00:14:45,945 --> 00:14:49,545 Did you know you can share that so that multiple people couldn't 420 00:14:49,545 --> 00:14:50,745 edit it? 421 00:14:50,745 --> 00:14:51,585 I don't know. 422 00:14:51,585 --> 00:14:54,305 So Chris and I have done this because Chris is useless 423 00:14:54,305 --> 00:14:56,385 at opening up a computer. 424 00:14:56,385 --> 00:15:00,065 So us having Excel spreadsheets doesn't work. 425 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:02,545 But when we've had parties in the past, 426 00:15:02,545 --> 00:15:05,785 we've done a list in notes with bullet points 427 00:15:05,785 --> 00:15:07,345 that you can tick off. 428 00:15:07,345 --> 00:15:09,145 But it's a shared note. 429 00:15:09,145 --> 00:15:11,145 I do know this because when I helped you 430 00:15:11,145 --> 00:15:13,345 with that wedding back in 2022, you were like, 431 00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:16,345 ah, the to-do list is on notes, but I don't have an iPhone. 432 00:15:16,345 --> 00:15:18,265 Ah, and do you remember I couldn't get it? 433 00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:21,705 I was like, sorry, I have a paper in. 434 00:15:21,705 --> 00:15:22,785 Because you were like, "Tick it off jobs." 435 00:15:22,785 --> 00:15:23,825 You're like, "Tick it off and I've done them." 436 00:15:23,825 --> 00:15:24,985 And I was like, "I can't do that. 437 00:15:24,985 --> 00:15:25,945 I have Android." 438 00:15:25,945 --> 00:15:27,425 For the days of our plan, I wasn't up. 439 00:15:27,425 --> 00:15:28,225 Yeah. 440 00:15:28,225 --> 00:15:31,545 But no, definitely have it saved somewhere. 441 00:15:31,545 --> 00:15:33,745 And what are the columns? 442 00:15:33,745 --> 00:15:35,265 Is useful information. 443 00:15:35,265 --> 00:15:39,225 So I have, on my spreadsheet, first name, last name, 444 00:15:39,225 --> 00:15:40,745 relationship to the couple. 445 00:15:40,745 --> 00:15:42,745 Yeah, you don't need to fill it in for everyone. 446 00:15:42,745 --> 00:15:46,425 Some people literally put Sam's friends, Nicolas's friends. 447 00:15:46,425 --> 00:15:47,305 I don't need to know all of that. 448 00:15:47,305 --> 00:15:51,385 Just step mom, mother, cousin, brides, 449 00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:53,065 maid, maid of honour, niece or something. 450 00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:54,585 Just the key ones. 451 00:15:54,585 --> 00:15:57,585 Then I have, on my columns, I have, 452 00:15:57,585 --> 00:15:59,505 whether the safe the date's been sent. 453 00:15:59,505 --> 00:16:01,625 I don't care what they just need to be sent. 454 00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:04,185 Like in my eyes, I don't think I need an ISVP. 455 00:16:04,185 --> 00:16:07,905 Then when the invitation sent, what was the response? 456 00:16:07,905 --> 00:16:10,625 And then obviously any allergies, any notes, 457 00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:12,865 whether they're children, whether they need transport, 458 00:16:12,865 --> 00:16:16,025 ceremony, seating, it's quite a, quite a document. 459 00:16:16,025 --> 00:16:17,505 Yeah, that's what do you do. 460 00:16:17,505 --> 00:16:18,425 Similar sort of thing. 461 00:16:18,425 --> 00:16:21,305 So I have first name, surname, address. 462 00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:21,825 OK. 463 00:16:21,825 --> 00:16:22,305 As well. 464 00:16:22,305 --> 00:16:24,665 And then you can move that column or hide that column. 465 00:16:24,665 --> 00:16:29,185 Then it's there in one thing that I think I do play address on there. 466 00:16:29,185 --> 00:16:33,105 If the, when the invitation's been sent, RSVP received 467 00:16:33,105 --> 00:16:37,825 no, not received, no actual requirements, additional notes, 468 00:16:37,825 --> 00:16:40,865 transport, if they're going for transport. 469 00:16:40,865 --> 00:16:43,585 Yeah, if you're not providing transport for anyone, you don't need to. 470 00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:46,505 No, I'm the same with accommodation as well. 471 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,625 Yes, but exactly the same sort of thing. 472 00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:52,905 Like as much of that information as you can gather is better 473 00:16:52,905 --> 00:16:54,465 and having it in one space. 474 00:16:54,465 --> 00:16:55,905 And one spreadsheet, yes. 475 00:16:55,905 --> 00:16:57,265 And then you can just play with it. 476 00:16:57,265 --> 00:16:58,145 Like you can move it. 477 00:16:58,145 --> 00:17:01,465 If you have it in notes or something, then you can't, 478 00:17:01,465 --> 00:17:03,945 you can't, you can't do a lot with that with the day. 479 00:17:03,945 --> 00:17:06,905 No, I mean, I know you can do your table planning as well. 480 00:17:06,905 --> 00:17:08,385 From that same Excel spreadsheet, 481 00:17:08,385 --> 00:17:11,305 you can copy and paste the names into another document, 482 00:17:11,305 --> 00:17:13,225 read them all into the tables. 483 00:17:13,225 --> 00:17:15,625 And then you could also then put the table numbers. 484 00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:18,705 Yeah, or names next to, yeah, I guess. 485 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,785 Yeah, I have the table once that's sorted. 486 00:17:20,785 --> 00:17:23,345 And then you can actually just rearrange the spreadsheet 487 00:17:23,345 --> 00:17:27,505 so that I have, on the day, I make sure I have a list of guests 488 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:30,425 by table and a list of guests by A to Z. 489 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,745 So that if someone's going, oh, gosh, where am I sat? 490 00:17:32,745 --> 00:17:34,345 You go, what's your name? Oh, fine. 491 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:37,665 I mean, this was one that's my party of 500 people in the market. 492 00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:39,345 You know, we had dreams and dreams of paper. 493 00:17:39,345 --> 00:17:42,545 But I needed to know who's on what table to help set it up. 494 00:17:42,545 --> 00:17:43,065 Yeah. 495 00:17:43,065 --> 00:17:44,985 And then also lists of where people are. 496 00:17:44,985 --> 00:17:46,225 So I can easily find that table. 497 00:17:46,225 --> 00:17:49,305 I'm not just looking through random lists. 498 00:17:49,305 --> 00:17:49,785 Yeah. 499 00:17:49,785 --> 00:17:53,305 I also think it's quite important when you're receiving your RSVP. 500 00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:56,825 Set yourself deadlines of when you will chase people. 501 00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:57,305 Yes. 502 00:17:57,305 --> 00:18:03,425 So just keep thinking to chase people, go one week after the RSVP deadline, 503 00:18:03,425 --> 00:18:05,185 we will chase everyone. 504 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:05,705 Yeah. 505 00:18:05,705 --> 00:18:07,385 Two weeks after we'll chase everyone. 506 00:18:07,385 --> 00:18:13,105 My favourite is it was a friend rather than a client put on their invitation 507 00:18:13,105 --> 00:18:18,145 under their RSVP if we don't hear from you by XYZ date. 508 00:18:18,145 --> 00:18:20,865 Bring a chair and a sandwich, which I thought was so good. 509 00:18:20,865 --> 00:18:23,945 Because it's so true, like unless you receive that information, 510 00:18:23,945 --> 00:18:25,785 you can't be expected to pay for-- 511 00:18:25,785 --> 00:18:28,345 No, catering someone, and it's not that you don't want them there. 512 00:18:28,345 --> 00:18:31,305 And if there's physical space, then yes, but there wouldn't be a seat. 513 00:18:31,305 --> 00:18:33,265 And there wouldn't be anything. 514 00:18:33,265 --> 00:18:36,145 I wait to see the day that someone actually brings a chair and a sandwich. 515 00:18:36,145 --> 00:18:37,065 I'd love that. 516 00:18:37,065 --> 00:18:37,545 Yeah. 517 00:18:37,545 --> 00:18:40,385 That would be-- that would be brilliant. 518 00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:42,025 Natasha. 519 00:18:42,025 --> 00:18:48,745 What is your puppet when thinking about managing RSVPs? 520 00:18:48,745 --> 00:18:55,345 I think you need to start with your spreadsheets when you do your guests. 521 00:18:55,345 --> 00:19:01,185 So start that document and make it a manageable document that can be used for everything. 522 00:19:01,185 --> 00:19:02,185 Yeah. 523 00:19:02,185 --> 00:19:03,185 You only need one. 524 00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:06,025 You don't need to copy names, XYZ places. 525 00:19:06,025 --> 00:19:09,585 Lots of my couples still do it in a notebook and paper. 526 00:19:09,585 --> 00:19:10,585 Yeah. 527 00:19:10,585 --> 00:19:11,585 You're not coming across that yet. 528 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,585 And then they send me pictures. 529 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:14,585 Yes. 530 00:19:14,585 --> 00:19:15,585 So much. 531 00:19:15,585 --> 00:19:16,585 So I have that with-- 532 00:19:16,585 --> 00:19:17,585 I had seating plans. 533 00:19:17,585 --> 00:19:18,585 Some of them wanted to picture. 534 00:19:18,585 --> 00:19:19,585 Yeah. 535 00:19:19,585 --> 00:19:20,585 A lot of us. 536 00:19:20,585 --> 00:19:23,945 So much easier being on a spreadsheet. 537 00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:28,745 And if you have access to Google Drive, where you can then make it a shareable document for 538 00:19:28,745 --> 00:19:34,705 other people to edit as well, then it's problem shared as a problem halved. 539 00:19:34,705 --> 00:19:35,705 Yeah. 540 00:19:35,705 --> 00:19:39,865 My only thing with Google Drive is just making sure that you're aware that people make changes 541 00:19:39,865 --> 00:19:43,865 sometimes because especially if you're the bride or if you're the wedding planner, then 542 00:19:43,865 --> 00:19:45,985 you want to know what changes have been made. 543 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:46,985 Yeah. 544 00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:51,145 So sometimes I set it just so people can comment and then I-- but I did that with one of my 545 00:19:51,145 --> 00:19:53,625 couples last year, where it was so confusing. 546 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:58,825 We went through the guest list about 20 times because I was like, where are we mismatched 547 00:19:58,825 --> 00:20:03,105 on guest numbers because of how she'd got RSVPs in person. 548 00:20:03,105 --> 00:20:08,145 But I had it so she commented so that I could literally acknowledge in my head and make 549 00:20:08,145 --> 00:20:10,865 the changes and knew that that had been dealt with. 550 00:20:10,865 --> 00:20:11,865 There you go. 551 00:20:11,865 --> 00:20:12,865 That's the way to do it then. 552 00:20:12,865 --> 00:20:13,865 Definitely. 553 00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:15,625 So that is my top tip. 554 00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:16,625 Amazing. 555 00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:17,625 Right. 556 00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,865 Next week, we have the amazing Suzy Ethernet. 557 00:20:19,865 --> 00:20:23,185 And there's going to be three planners on the show, three wedding planners. 558 00:20:23,185 --> 00:20:24,185 I love Suzy too. 559 00:20:24,185 --> 00:20:25,705 I love Suzy too. 560 00:20:25,705 --> 00:20:26,705 We will see you then.