You learned the Polyvagal Theory.
Now what?
How do you apply this knowledge to your everyday life?
What the heck do you do with it?
I'm sharing five tips to answer that one question.
This episode in particular is the fourth in the five part series.
This tip focuses on understanding and identifying neuroception.
I wanted this to be a short episode, but we have a lot to get into.
Neuroception is commonly misunderstood, so we really gotta spend a lot of
time first on clearly understanding what it is, and then we apply the idea
to your life in particular in a very easy, practical, and approachable way.
Hi, I am Justin Sunseri.
I'm a therapist and coach who helps you live more calmly, confidently, and
connected without psychobabble or woo woo.
Welcome to Stuck Not Broken.
This podcast is of course not therapy, nor is it intended to
be a replacement for therapy.
The first thing to get into is what neuroception is.
We need to understand its top down to then recognize it bottom up in the
simplest but most accurate possible terms I could muster- Neuroception is your
body's way of detecting safety or danger.
Super simple definition, but it's of course more complex.
So we'll add to the super simple version with this- Neuroception
is your body's way of detecting safety or danger or life threat.
It does get more complex, but let's spend a little bit of time here.
When you neurop safety, your body accesses its ventral vagal safety state.
When you neurocept danger, your body turns off the safety
activation resulting in increased sympathetic flight fight activation.
And if it detects a life threat, then the dorsal vagal shutdown system kicks in.
That is a very one dimensional, cartoony, simple way of putting things.
But we're starting off simple.
Now let's make it a bit more complex.
By extending our definition of neuroception a bit more- Neuroception
is your body's way of detecting safety or danger or life threat before your
conscious mind is aware of these things.
Neuroception is not a conscious process.
You're not aware of it while it's happening.
You're only aware of it after it's happened.
You notice the effects of neuroception, not neuroception itself.
We can extend our definition a smidge more by inserting
something, uh, right in the middle.
Ready for it?
Neuroception is your body's way of detecting safety or danger or
life threat from the internal or external world before your conscious
mind is aware of these things.
Neuroception responds to more than the external world, like
the loud boom of thunder above.
It also responds to the internal world, like if you're chronically ill.
Neuroception is not conscious thought.
It's not consciously directed.
It's a biological process happening in the brainstem.
The brainstem is where top down and bottom up communication meet.
Your body sends signals of safety or danger up to the brainstem and your
higher brain structures send signals of safety or danger down to the brainstem.
The body and brain meet and discuss safety and danger at the brainstem.
So let's, let's use a metaphor.
It's gonna make it silly, but hopefully more understandable.
Think of your body and the rest of your brain as people, and
your brainstem is a person too.
So we have three people.
The brainstem is the decision maker of the group.
The brain and the body come to the decision maker and give it their data.
The brain says, "This person whose thoughts I have, they're a real idiot.
They're going to get fired soon.
And everyone in the office talks about them behind their back." The brain
tells this to the brainstem and the brain stem says, "That's not good.
Um, sounds like danger.
So we'll keep things on high alert.
So, brain, I need you to focus intently on maybe getting fired and
how maybe nobody likes this person.
All of your energy, brain, needs to go and focus on these dangers." And
the brain would say, "But we have a, a thing on Saturday and I need to get
to the kids, the kids to the doctor-" and the brainstem says, "Nope, just
focus on the most immediate danger.
All systems need to prioritize these dangers."
Meanwhile, the body's there too and has a message for the
brainstem, the decision maker.
The body says, "Things are pretty tense down here. I'm super tight in the gut
area and I can't get enough air into my chest." So the brainstem says, OMG.
Things are worse than I thought.
Sounds like a ton of dangers.
Okay, body.
Let's also stay on high alert- keep tense, keep ready.
Focus all energies on maintaining hypervigilant readiness.
If there's anything off, let me know immediately.
If somebody at work has a slightly tense voice, prioritize that,
I'll let the brain know and it'll put a response into action."
And so, uh, yeah, things stay this way, potentially indefinitely, sorry to say.
Well, that's not entirely true.
It's not indefinite.
But if you are in a traumatized state, it is chronic that defensiveness
and potentially indefinite, um, if nothing else changes.
The good news is, is that the body's also sending other signals to the
brainstem, like the smell of food on the way to work, or the sites of pink cherry
blossoms on a tree outside a window.
And the brain can remember moments of connection.
These messages are also sent to the brainstem decision maker too.
The point is that the brainstem is where all the polyvagal state shifting
takes place, and it shifts based on the cues that it receives from
the body and the rest of the brain.
That's the basics of neuroception.
Let's create a fictional scenario to help bring this to light a little bit more.
It is Sarah's first week at her new job and she's attending, um, a team meeting.
She arrives a few minutes before it starts wanting to make a good impression on
her, her colleagues, and the higher ups.
She says to herself, "You got this, Sarah." She opens the door to the
conference room and lifts her leg to take a step in before her foot can
land, though, uh, for that first step, her eyes take in the harsh brightness
of the fluorescent bulbs above.
Her ears take in the dull hum and the chatter of her colleagues.
Her nose picks up the slight scent of disinfectant.
Her eyes take in the view of the city from the 50th floor.
Her eyes also pick up the faces of her colleagues facing away from her
or the back of their heads, I guess.
A subtle tension grips her shoulders and her breathing becomes more
shallow, uh, into her chest.
Her foot finally falls for that first step into the conference room.
The second foot follows and her legs tense as she stands
stoically still like a statue, her eyes widening to scan the room.
A thought pierces her mind like a lightning bolt, "This is too
much for me. I am not ready for this. And they all know."
Okay, dear listener, um, how is or is Sarah neurocepting danger?
Obviously.
Yeah, right.
She enters into a freeze state based on what she's picking up in the room.
The onset of the freeze is rapid and she has no idea why.
To her it's because of imposter syndrome.
That's what she would say to herself.
She thinks people are judging her but really it's because she entered the room
with some anxiety already, and then the room itself and the people within it
provided her brainstem with numerous tiny sensory danger cues like the height of the
room overlooking the city, the lighting, the voices, the faces of her colleagues,
and the uh, the scent in the room.
All of these are danger.
They're not dangerous, but the cue danger in her body.
She is unaware of all of these sensory pieces at a conscious level,
but her brainstem picked up on every single one of them and then shifted
the body into a life threat state.
That's what the freeze was.
Let's take this, uh, story a step further.
Sarah is standing there frozen in place with her eyes wide.
Unsure what to do, uh, where to sit or who to talk to.
Emotionally, she feels, of course, anxious and insecure.
One of the colleagues looks over to her and smiles, "Hey, Sarah, right?"
She stutters out something affirming that, yes, she is indeed Sarah.
" Welcome!" The colleague says. I don't know if Jerry prepped you for this, but
this is a multidisciplinary team meeting and we like to sit with people we usually
don't work with. People in different teams get to know each other this way."
Sarah feels a warmth spread all over her.
She takes a breath in, smiles at her colleague and says,
okay, great, and gets cut off.
Another colleague across the room shouts to Sarah in a playful tone.
"Come over here. We have a spot. I need to pick your brain about something anyhow!"
Sarah smiles a bigger smile and confidently walks over to sit.
All right, so now what happened?
She neurocepted, uh, safety this time, right?
The smile from her coworker, gaining clarity on the group norms at the
top down, and the invitation from her other coworker, along with
that coworkers, the other coworkers welcoming and excited vocal tone.
She accurately neuro steps safety and shifts state out of
freeze or out of immobility and into a mobilized safety state.
So now you understand neuroception accurately.
Let's now take the next step and learn how to identify it.
You can probably see that neuroception is not something we directly experience.
I mean the moment of neuroception, the biological communication
from brainstem to brain and body.
Instead, we can directly experience the effects of neuroception.
This is a subtle but important difference.
Sarah didn't notice the neuroception of danger before her first step
landed in the conference room.
She didn't even notice the effects like shallow breathing and the tent shoulders.
She was too far in defensive activation.
But if she had enough safety in her system and if she was mindful
enough, she would've noticed the breath and the tension.
The breath and tension are the effects of neuroception, the,
the outcome of neuroception.
These are the potentially conscious results of neuroception.
We identify neuroception through its effects, through its outcomes.
One problem with this is that neuroception affects so many
different variables of you.
When you shift into defense, it affects your thoughts, your
emotions, your sensations, your impulses, and your behaviors as well.
Another problem is that you may have little to no connection with yourself.
Everything from the neck down might be a stranger to you.
So we need to start much smaller.
We don't have to notice everything.
We get really notice things on a smaller level.
I have three questions that I want you to ask yourself to identify neuroception.
I'll also clarify the three questions so they make more sense.
Write these down.
You're gonna be using these a lot.
Number one, how is my breathing?
Is it more or less shallow?
Is it in my chest or my belly?
Are my shoulders moving?
Is it comfortable or not?
Number two, how is my muscle tension?
Am I tense or relaxed?
Where do I feel tension or relaxation?
Is it all over or is it in a specific spot?
And number three, am I more or less likely to smile?
This one I think is pretty straightforward.
And by the way, if you are more, more likely to smile, then do so.
Let yourself smile.
Those are your three key questions to identify neuroception.
You're gonna look for the effects of neuroception in these three key areas.
Let's get a little more specific though, because it's
time to take your first steps.
You are going to look for the effects of neuroception in these three areas in
response to sensory inputs, in particular.
When noticing come from as much curiosity as you can.
Not evaluation.
This isn't about, uh, good or bad, right or wrong.
It's just noticing what is, noticing what is truthful about our experiences.
You are gonna use your senses to notice neuroception, and you're
going to do so proactively.
For now, don't wait for your senses to pick something up and for your
body to shift and then notice it.
That's reactive.
I want you to be proactive.
I invite you to choose an experience today that engages just one of your senses.
Not all of them, just one.
I want you to mindfully experience the taste, sight, feel, smell
or the sound of something.
And then notice how that impacts your body.
Take in the sensory input and then ask yourself those three questions.
So how do you do this?
I bet you have a candle in your home.
Smell it mindfully and ask yourself those three questions.
I bet you're gonna be going to Target or Walmart today, or, or some store.
Go to the candle aisle and smell one of the candles there.
You're probably gonna get a coffee today.
Taste it and answer those three questions.
Real easy.
These are things that you would do anyways.
Focus though on proactively experiencing the effects of neuroception.
As this becomes easier, then notice how your body reacts to sensory
inputs that you don't expect.
If you can't catch it in the moment like Sarah did not catch it in the
story, then reflect back on those moments at the end of the day.
You are wondering why this is important and how it helps, uh, especially
'cause you wanna get unstuck.
Noticing the effects of neuroception helps build self-awareness without judgment.
That's huge.
If you're gonna continue down the unstuck path that, that's, seriously,
this is a huge component of it.
Further down the unstucking road, you'll need to build your ability
to notice how your body is, what it wants, and how it reacts.
This self-awareness you build now tells you what cue safety and what cues defense.
In the Unstuck Academy, you will learn what cues safety in your
body, but you need to feel it.
You'll also learn how to access and feel mindfully defensive activation,
and again- this requires a lot of nonjudgmental connection with yourself.
But you're not there yet.
That is further down the road.
You've just learned the Polyvagal theory and you're
trying to put things into place.
But as you progress down the unstuck road, those other pieces
will become way more important.
Over time, as you become more comfortable with noticing how your body responds,
you'll begin to understand what it wants.
Our bodies are compelled to self-regulate, to get unstuck from
defense and access more safety.
But to get there, we need to listen to what it needs.
We need to consciously listen to what our body needs.
When it needs to squeeze to release stuck fight activation.
We need to listen and act on it when it needs to hug another and receive warmth
and comfort, we need to listen to it.
When it needs to collapse face first on the bed and breathe in silence, recovering
from the day we need to listen to it.
This simple, proactive sensory neuroception tip that I gave
you with the three questions is a small step in that direction.
Small but sustainable and small but significant, especially
if you're just starting.
Using this simple, proactive sensory neuroception tip is also useful
because it puts you in the driver's seat, it puts you in control.
You decide what sensory input you use and when, and you decide to look
inward and notice your body's reaction.
I will bet you are typically reactive.
You live reactively.
You react to things.
You react to the state of your body.
You try to numb what it's going through or distract yourself.
What I'm suggesting is the opposite.
It is proactive and helps you connect, not numb or distract, but directly connect
with your body in the present moment.
Thanks so much for joining me on Stuck Not Broken.
I hope this episode has helped you understand neuroception
deeper and more accurately.
And I hope you have your next step- proactively connect
with your senses or one sense.
And notice how your body responds to what it neurocepts.
You got this.
Bye.