Some point on the hero's journey, or heroine's

journey, we get to that point where you go, Ah, I can let this

go too, and come back to the realization that actually I am

whole, that I am whole, and that in that wholeness, that's the

ultimate healing. And then life starts reflecting the versions

of myself that are whole within relationships, within life,

within working opportunities, within everything in life. It

starts to mirror my wholeness instead of mere something about

me that feels broken, and then I have to, because life will then

bring that to you, right? It's like, oh, I have to fix that

aspect of my self within that relationship and that

relationship and that relationship, and then we just

keep recreating, you know, these relationships that keep us stuck

in that

Hello, my loves. I'm excited for you to dive into

this week's episode. You get to be a fly on the wall on a

conversation with me and my love of my life, my bestie, my

soulmate. I have lots of besties, but Mariana and I are

two peas in a pod, and I have had Mariana Clark on the podcast

before. I think it's maybe the third, third, maybe fourth time

I've had her on and but I thought I would tell you a

little bit about her. For those of you who don't know Mariana,

magical Mariana, this episode is, I imagine, going to be

deeply healing on a lot of levels. Mariana is the founder

of travel within retreats, and she does these beautiful

retreats that I actually attend myself. I go on myself, for me,

and it's all about traveling deeper within your own soul. And

she helps people alchemize subconscious thoughts, limiting

beliefs through the body, through the vehicle of the body,

and embodiment practices and really how to like actual,

tangible practices of how to break free from just letting

your limited mind lead your life. And so this episode is

really, really powerful. Turns out there's not just one trap.

We kind of had an intention to to go with one trap, and it

seems like there was many. So there's just a lot of, like,

really tangible, really practical tools and things that

you can use. So I hope you feel sparked and inspired. This woman

is just a different level human. And I mean, I try and have on

mostly different, like, Next Level humans on this podcast,

she's, you know, on a planet of her own, and she, I have grown

and expanded so much in my life since she came into my world in

2018 and I imagine you are going to too. So enjoy this episode,

enjoy my beautiful love Mariana, and our conversation and a

little glimpse into our sisterhood. And I hope it heals

a little piece of your heart today. And of course, share it

with all your friends. Lots of love.

Hello, my loves. Do I have a special guest for you today? Do

you know i Hello, Mariana. Hello, Kate. Do you know I talk

about you probably in every episode,

really? Yeah, oh my gosh.

So you're a little bit famous here.

Oh my goodness, I'm blushing. I mean, we talk

almost every, every day, almost every day.

Yes, we're not codependent. No one of us is

traveling or with our partners. We go through breaks, but yes,

we do talk very frequently,

yeah, yeah, and we're on different time zones

now, so I think that was a different shift for us too,

wasn't it because I was on London time and you're in Greek

time, and now I'm in Southern California, so but we find a way

to connect every day, if not by talking absolutely by energy. So

we're all

connected. You know, I feel like we should

probably weave that into the conversation today, because so

many women are still relating from the the patterns, from the

the gossip, complaining, victim mentality, blaming, all of that

stuff. And they often say like, Well, what do you say? What do

you talk about with your friends? When, when you're not

doing those things? Like I I've noticed when women start this

journey, there's this which, of course, is of the mind, but this

question as to what, what to talk about, and what if I have

nothing interesting to say? And I always think, Hmm, what do

Mariana and I talk about? And for me, I feel like the reason

we talk so often is because we just keep expanding. Each other

like that. All we talk about, I mean, we joke a lot, but all we

talk about is expansive possibilities in the universe

and the like, how beautiful life is. And there's just this, like,

real expansion that I experience every time we talk,

yeah, and I think, you know, when we ask

that question of, What do I say? What do I talk about? It's, it's

coming from our heads, you know, it's strategic. It's, it's, you

know, there's something that we lose, I think, a sense of true

intimacy when we're in that place and and I think when we

get to a place where we're just really comfortable in ourselves

and touching that part of our soul and our heart and the

silence within, when we're really comfortable with the

silence within, I think it just almost doesn't matter what you

Say, because we're communicating on a deeper level, and that

deeper level is so that's why me and you, we can talk about all

these really cool things that are happening in life, and then

when all these really cool things aren't happening in life,

we can just be sitting in the silence together, and sometimes,

like you're cleaning the house, or I'm chasing butterflies in

the garden, and we're Just like, oh, look, it's a pretty

butterfly. And it just doesn't matter the the connection that

we have. And I think the real soul connection, connection that

is possible within human relationship, lies within the

intimacy that we have with ourselves and being in in in

connection with our hearts and our souls. So then all of a

sudden, the words that just come out, they're, they're, they're

words, and they're perfect in that moment.

Yeah, it's so true. It just doesn't matter and and

it's a different frequency when you're in the heart and when

you're really connected, that's it. When you're home in yourself

and you're really connected, that that question won't be a

thing, because that part of you doesn't need to know anything.

We just talked about this, like the mind always wants to know,

but what's next? But how do I plan? I gotta plan the thing to

say. I gotta know what I'm doing next. I gotta know where I'm

going. I gotta know where I'm staying. And you when you're in

the heart frequency, you actually don't need to know.

No it. There is a, and we talked about this

earlier, there's a there's a knowing that comes from the

soul, because that, that part of your soul and your heart within

the body is connected, and the mind, though, is a way is is

disconnected so and it's compartmentalized, and it's a

conglomeration of all past thoughts and all the things that

you've learned. And it's like, almost like running tape on life

and running tape on your life. So when you're actually dropping

into your heart and your soul, that you're almost like

practicing leaning into the unknown, and that becomes a lot

more easeful and graceful when you practice like going into

that unknown. That's when you tap into the soul, which always

knows, but it doesn't know. It knows in a different way. It

doesn't know from the mind, like the mind's perception of how it

thinks that something should look like. Or is it this one, or

is that, is it that guy, or should I be doing this? Or that

there's something that when we let go of that mind's

interpretation, that we drop into the instinctual knowing,

and it's a feeling, and it lives beyond thought. It lives beyond

words and practicing. That is, I feel the juiciest part of

living, and it's what I practice every day, through either, you

know, movement or meditation or nature walks things like that,

being, you know, having obviously conscious

relationships like yourself. And yeah, it becomes life becomes a

lot more fun that way.

Yes, because then you get to experience all the

magic and everything that's meant that we miss if we're so

busy in the mind,

yeah, absolutely.

So I'm sure this is connected, but I'm just going to

read the title to pull us back. That was a little bonus, but the

number one trap that keeps women stuck repeating old pattern,

same, same different guys, same pattern, different work, jobs,

same pattern, different friendship, same pattern. Yeah,

I'm excited to explore this, and it's, I feel like everything on

this podcast is all it's all the same, it's all interconnected.

But I'm really excited to talk about this in particular. So

tell us, what's the number one trap?

I think we were relating a little bit to this,

like on the journey of personal development, on the journey of

self healing. When we start on that journey, it's easy to look

at a lot of the things that are quote, unquote wrong with us,

or, you know, things that have kept us in a trauma state, or

all of those things. So we go on that hero's journey, so to

speak, and then at one stage on the hero's journey, we can

almost get addicted to fixing ourselves, or healing ourselves,

or getting past this trauma and that trauma, and when we go into

that state, it almost like reconfigures what we're trying

to heal. Because underneath this, there's a story of us

being broken in some way. And so us being broken in some way

means we have to then fix this aspect of ourselves, or if

something's doesn't feel right or look like in our lives, and

we spend time trying to heal that aspect of ourselves. And

that can sometimes be a trap and also a self fulfilling prophecy,

right? And so I think this is a really important topic to talk

about today, because at some point on the hero's journey or

heroine's journey, we get to that point where you go, Ah, I

can let this go to and come back to the realization that actually

I am whole, that I am whole, and that in that wholeness, that's

the ultimate healing. And then life starts reflecting the

versions of myself that are whole, within relationships,

within life, within working opportunities, within everything

in life, it starts to mirror my wholeness. Instead of mere

something about me that feels broken, and then I have to,

because life will then bring that to you, right? It's like,

oh, I have to fix that aspect of my self within that relationship

and that relationship and that relationship, and then we just

keep recreating, you know, these relationships that keep us stuck

in that,

yes, yeah, I like to think of it like we've Have

these two sides to ourselves, the wounded parts of us that are

from childhood, so wounded child and your saboteur, and then your

soul, your sovereignty, your heroine, your wholeness, all the

same thing, and either in any given moment or either operating

from the wounded self or the soul self, the sovereign Self.

And I think that, you know, I can even track on my own

journey, the times where I when I was it operating from the

wounded self, even in my healing journey, when I would be

addicted to going to healers and addicted to getting psychic

readings and astrology readings and all the things to try and

get a hit to feel better, so then it's in but it's

insatiable, because it's the wound that's actually driving

the appointment, whereas now I usually only book sessions like

that if I already feel good, like I just had this amazing

woman, Shelly, who's a healer of mine. I think I've told you

about her when I was back in Costa Rica, and she came on the

podcast, and then she I was like, hey, I want to do a

session with you. But it wasn't because I was like, I'm because

I was like, I'm broken, and I need your help. It was because I

was excited to see her, and I love her healing sessions. And

we had the coolest thing, and I got so many, I got so much

clarity and old don't even know if I told you about it, but it

was really beautiful session, and I got so much out of it. And

yet I did it from my whole self, not from my wounded self. So in

any given moment, I think we're making decisions from one place

or the other, and when it's coming like, same thing with a

call, call a psychic, from your wounded self, the second is

going to be like, or the you're going to be like. The psychic

told me, you know, on Tuesday, I was going to meet the love of my

life. Where is he like? Is it you? Is it you? And we're going

to become so attached to the thing because it's trying to

fill the wound, versus, if it's coming from your whole self, you

call the psychic, and they tell you cool things, like cool and

then you kind of forget about it, and then a year later,

you're like, holy shit, she was right about everything, but

you're not attached to it, because it's not your wounded

self that's calling the psychic.

Yeah, yeah, that point of origin of making those

choices even to go see like, I love a good massage, you know.

So of course, I'm going to experience that from a place of,

you know, pleasure, or from that point versus, I'm going there to

necessarily fix myself in some way. But, yeah, I love, I love

what you said about even the psychic it. Gets us into a

codependent relationship too. And trust me, I've done it many,

many times, and occasionally I have that urge, you know, it's

like, oh, I want somebody to tell me what to do, or, you

know, or is my is my future going to be okay? Of course,

that mind's going to come in, and it's okay because we're

human, right? But it's nice to also catch ourselves in that

place to because when we do that, we give our power away.

That's it,

and our money, and our money too.

Oh my gosh, my friends and I joke like, all the

money that we've spent on psychic readings in that way,

where it's like, you know, we could have come into a place to

in ourselves, to just anchor into that, knowing that we were

talking about earlier, and then from there. Because what we do,

when we do that, we start trusting ourselves and life so

much more in that. So it's instead of also placing our

trust in things outside of us that can change, right? There's

an inner there's something that's really quite solid, and

in that inner knowing and and, yeah,

I feel like we're the you and I are the perfect

example of like. And it took me a lot, I'll have to say, it took

me a long time to get here. So it's practice. So it's practice,

practice, practice, but we both talk about how we we love, you

know, the practices are always meditating, writing, movement,

singing, singing is my, my go to but I do a little bit of all of

them and nature. And, you know, there's lots of different

practices. I mean, endless practices you can do, but it's

really about being with yourself. Going back to the

beginning, right? If you can't fully be with yourself, you see,

you might be able to be alone, but are you really alone? Are

you distracting yourself? Are you on technology? Are you

really with yourself? But I feel like you and I are both in a

place where we we miss being with ourselves when we're with

other people. It's like, oh, I can't wait to have my practice

in the morning. I can't wait to have to have that spaciousness,

to just land and just be in that place. And if you, if you've

never gone there, you might be hearing, listening to this, and

thinking like, I don't know what that is, but the more that you

practice and you just sit with all of your feelings, welcome

them, feel them move your body in the way that it feels like

moving without your mind, you know, without letting your mind

move your body. But just let your body do what it wants to do

so it can move. The feeling there is an even through sound,

through singing, through whatever there is so much that

comes from that connection. And I think you know, even with with

decisions, making that decision from these two different places,

like when you know, when you're able to sit with yourself in

that way, and you're connected to yourself in that way, you you

really feel that in heart, knowing you know of what is

aligned for you, or what, what, what feels really good for you,

or we often don't know, because we're just making all of our

decisions from the mind,

yeah, and creating that sacred space and

time, you know, if you can, obviously, each day to come back

and return to that, like you said, like, I can't wait, even

if I'm spending, like, let's say I have a very social three days,

and I have, you know, the last three days, and I was like, wow,

I've been around a lot of people. I've gone to a lot of

different, you know, social events and things like that.

There's a part of me that just craves coming back to that place

of meditation, to my writing space, to dancing, to moving, to

taking those long nature walks, you know, in the hills and, you

know, it's, it's, that's where I rejuvenate. You know, that's

where we talk. I think we've mentioned this a lot before,

where it's like, it feels like I'm coming back into the self

rejuvenating fountain, and I fill my cup in that space, and

then I can, it's a space where you return to your wholeness,

and then from there, you know, you can go to other social

events, you can connect with other people from that same

space, and the world looks so different from that same space,

from that rejuvenated space, people start responding to you

differently because you're connected to yourself in such a

deep way that you get to meet people in that and It becomes an

invitation for other people to show up in that space, like

all the 25 year olds that hit on you, Mariana.

25 year olds love Mariana when you're in the heart space.

Folks, folks, everyone loves Mariana, though, but that, that

is it. Because you're walking through the world with your

heart open because you've met yourself. It's not just oh,

hearts open all the time. We go back to that place and it

imagine the the rewiring that happens when we come back to to

loving ourselves enough to create the space, rather than,

Oh, I don't have time. Okay. How much time do you spend on your

phone and on Netflix? Come on, you can make time coming back to

that place over and over and over again to our for ourselves,

what a gift that is to our like our the little kid inside that's

been abandoned a million times and, you know, felt left out and

felt like she doesn't belong and like she's not enough, and like

she doesn't matter, and all those things like that little

girl's inside of you. So for you to come and sit with all those

feelings and sit with her every single day, now you're teaching

her she does matter. She is lovable, she is and then she and

then you two walk through the world, you know, and she, she

starts actually healing, because that's the true healing. And

then you walk through the world from that whole place. And

really it's the ripple effect. Like, I just think of how many

people you know? I mean, guess both of us have met on airplanes

or wherever, where we like sprinkle fairy dust, because our

hearts are open and and we're in a different frequency. And how

many people's whole, entire lives change just from one

conversation? Yes, and ours do too. I mean, gosh, I've heard. I

mean, I think you have the most airplane stories. I usually

ignore people on airplanes, but you airplanes, but you, every

time you get off an airplane, you're like, Oh, my God, I met

the most magical person.

Oh, my goodness, yeah, it is fun, and it's so

interesting how you know coming back to that wholeness,

brokenness, when, when we try to find our wholeness from other

people and try to, like, get the love, let's say, of the

abandoned little girl or whatever, from this person

outside of us. We it's like we almost hold the other person

hostage to make them give us something that they can't ever

give us, even if they try their damndest, you know, to give it

to us. If we don't receive it first and internally, inside of

us, it's never going to be fulfilled. It's never going to

be fulfilling. That's why we try over and over again to through

scrolling or through this date and that date and this guy and

that guy and that job, and we keep trying to get it

externally. It's never going to to fulfill us until we give it

to ourselves in that sacred space.

Yes, and that is why we keep repeating old

patterns, yes, because all of our patterns are external to try

and get something. They're all extractive to try and get

something from someone else to feel good enough or worthy or

lovable, or whatever.

Yeah, and when we feel that way, when when we

have a judgment about what's going on in our lives with other

people or with ourselves. That's beautiful information to me,

like that is information that I can take and say there's a part

of me that doesn't feel either that I'm not taking

responsibility for in my own life, and I'm projecting it out

onto that person, or onto the world in some way, onto my

circumstances, and I'm getting triggered by them, or it's

triggering this quote, unquote, deep wound inside of me. That's

information if I and if I try to fix it externally, then it just

keeps recycling the pattern. And no matter what we do out there,

it just keeps getting recycled. And that's when we get stuck in

the pattern and in the relationships that sometimes we

tend to, quote, unquote, recreate, versus go, oh, hang on

a minute. Let me this is interesting information, and I

can take that and journal about it. I can take that and see try

to go into the most objective state as possible as to how that

is lying in my subconscious somewhere, and I empower myself

in taking that responsibility and shifting and alchemizing

Either that story or the way I feel around that story or that

circumstance, and when I make that change internally,

everything and everyone changes externally, in my in my world,

but he ghosted me again.

And who ghosted who? What is ghosting about?

I you, yeah, okay, sorry. Go ahead.

I was like that. I find the ghosting thing quite

interesting, because

think about unpack it. Let's unpack it, but I want

you what I was going to after that joke. Sorry for

interrupting you, but I want you so share what you're going to

say about ghost. But I want you to unpack. So let's say, okay,

because I've actually been hearing this a lot lately, where

women say, Oh, we had three or four amazing dates. It was going

so well, and then he just disappeared completely off, like

and no communication whatsoever. So that that's obviously the

term ghosting. Like they they become a ghost. So I would love

for you to share your perspective on it, I'm sure it's

the same as mine, and then to share, if that was you, how

would you alchemize that? So you can give, like, a tangible

example of, like a journey you would go on that that you know,

whoever's been ghosted recently can follow serious

Yeah, I can actually think about in my own

life. Obviously, I've been in a I just got married, actually,

that's

like three weeks ago, publicly denial to

somebody I've been with for gosh, is it over

12 years now. Anyways, the love of my life, and he it's

interesting. So I haven't had that ghosting in that way with a

relationship, but I can relate it to working scenario. So I'm

trying to kind of pull from that experience. And so when I, let's

say, I've had a meeting with a potential partnership for my TV

series, let's say, and it's going really well. I feel like

we could have a relationship here. We could have a

partnership here, we could have a contractual agreement here,

this, this can be, you know, and we're when we're having

different meetings, and then all of a sudden something has

shifted, and they're no longer responding right, or they're

responding less, or it's a no thank you, or whatever that is,

is all forms of, you know, something that was there and

very promising, and it was going really well, and then all of a

sudden, it's not there anymore. And I've been sitting with that,

and I go, it's usually, I usually have the experience of

that, when all of a sudden I went from this really cool,

connected space within myself into giving all of my power,

like, Oh, now they're gonna, they're gonna do the thing and

and then I get overly excited, and it's all the sudden, all the

energy that that was inside, that I was connected to my heart

and soul, I placed it externally, but The validation,

right, the the it's coming from over here, like the excitement

that the project might be going forward, or, you know, the

relationship might all this sudden, all the energy shifted

from being connected and inside of myself to out here, and

that's usually when I find I'm losing, quote, unquote

connection, and I'm getting ghosted. Well, guess who

ghosted? Who? It was me. It was me. I ghosted myself, and the

reflection became all of a sudden, less communication. But

really, the less communication was, a less communication that I

had with myself. That's everything, and it's so cool to

see that now. So then I'm not no longer like, oh my god, there

are no you know, the the opportunity, that unity that I

had is now gone. No, it never left. It's always here. I just

need to reconnect with, back to myself. And so now my practice

is always as I'm on this hero's journey, having all of these

incredible meetings. And of course, my little girl is going

to be like, too, super excited, and oh my god. And this is the

one, right? This is the one relationship, and then having to

come back to Mariana. You are the relationship. You are the

relationship, you are the connection. You are the

partnership that you seek. It's here. And just keep coming back

to that and having that become more solid, and bring your

little excited girl, she's going to come. And you know, you can

bring her with you too, and also come back here. And so now I

have these meetings, and they might come and go, and always

know that the right one is always going to show show up.

Because guess what? The right one is me. Yes,

yeah, and it's I love that you use that example.

I thought you were just going to make up being ghosted. That's

perfect, because

to use a personal experience, because

it's so I think we can all relate to this. We're all human,

and we go through our different version of this. It was through

love, through friendship, through working relationship,

everything,

every time we're about to up level, and that

this, this happens, right? The smaller self gets really, really

loud, and it's been really amazing to witness you, because

the more you come back to that place of like, oh, it's inside,

it's not the deal isn't out there. The the right investors,

the right, you know, people the right who are going to work with

me on this project are not out there, they're inside. And then

you have more opportunities and more excitement and more more

and it just everything. It just keeps getting better. And that's

the thing that your your soul knows, and your heart knows,

that when you plug in, that what you experience externally always

gets better, but the mind is like, no, no, but it's that guy,

because x, y, z, and we become the mind, and the little girl

becomes so attached in fear of there not being anyone else,

that's better.

Yes, yeah. And all the limitations we place on

that one thing, that external thing. And then just think of,

then all the stories that get reconfigured when we do lose

ourselves in that, right? And then we go, Oh, poor me. He

ghosted me. Then it and then we go into a frequency of of lack

of, you know, like there's no other human being out there

that's going to be connected to us ever again. Or there's that

feeling like, what's wrong with me, the sadness, the sorrow, all

the stories that is associated with getting ghosted, then they

get real, they all get reconfigured. And then we stay

in there, and then we recreate a similar self fulfilling prophecy

through that. You know, another one shows up, and then, oh no,

he's the one, boom. And then, and we pull ourselves out again.

We go out of ourselves again. And it's so easy to do. I'm not

saying that. You know, there's no judgment here. It's like we,

we all do it. It's part of being human and having this human

experience. But when we start catching ourselves, and to bring

it back to what are some of the things you do, it's the

simplicity of catching ourselves. I go, oh god, look.

And even having a sense of humor about it, right me, and you

like, how much like, no matter how shitty things get, and how,

like, you know, all this stuff that happens. Like, we go, come

back to the cosmic joke of leaving ourselves and go, Oh my

god, I did that again, you know, and not beating ourselves up

over it being like, I come back to self love, you know, like,

Oh, I lost myself for a moment. I I gave that guy power. I gave

that external situation power over me, you know, and the self

love. And then you just return. And you return. You return over

and over again by just catching yourself, when you dissociate,

catching yourself, when you leave yourself, catching

yourself, when you give power over to that external thing you

know, and just doing a practice where you return and that's

again, coming back to what are some of the practices? Oh, some

of those practices are after I catch it, coming back to a

meditation or putting on a piece of music that you know helps me

move that feeling of of pining or just association or sadness

or whatever, whatever it is, and putting on some music and and

meditation, or going out for a walk and just coming back home.

Yes, and it's, it's a lifelong practice, and in my

experience, it's like, the the more you practice, like, the

more you have these opportunities that do pull you

out into that Wounded Child, the deeper you go into your

sovereignty and your salt, like, it becomes more solidified our

wholeness and the sovereign woman. And it that part of us

becomes stronger the more, the more times we do get activated,

and then we come back home. And I was actually just thought of a

practice we can share that we did at that number we we created

like a business together for a minute a couple years ago, Soul

of intimacy. And we did a workshop. Remember that virtual

workshop we did? And we had the practice that we had them do was

old myths, new truths. And so the old myth is like the story

you're believing, you know, like, oh, again, I'm ghosted.

Men are the worst. There's no good men on planet Earth. I'm

gonna be alone forever. I'm broken, blah, blah, blah, all

the stories. And you go into the one that feels the most potent.

And then you move, you put on music, and move as that

character, as that feeling, and move it through your body and

feelings. When we actually move the energy of the feeling, it

alchemizes into something else. And then you let it change, and

you let it alkali. Eyes, and then you tune into the new

truth, like, how do you want to feel? How? What? What is the

actual truth? I am the love of my life, not somebody else.

Yeah. And even in the the new truth, I look

it's so fun to look back at my old myths, new truths, because I

have, I've actually kept them. And the reason why I've kept

them because I get to see, like, wow, I actually used to feel

that way all the time. And what you were saying earlier is like,

the more you practice it, the more this new truth becomes

solid in yourself. And when some of the old stuff, like you said,

it's a lifelong practice, right? It absolutely is. And then when

you do come across an old, you know myth, an old story of

yourself or and they do come back. And the reason why they

come back, it's an old protection mechanism, that's,

it's, it's there, especially when you're expanding into a new

place. You're expanding into a new relationship, some of the

old stuff's going to come back to protect you from a possible

danger, including, like, an expansive relationship, right?

It's like, Oh God no no. Remember guys suck. Remember

they treat you like shit. Remember they're this, that and

the other thing. So some of the old stuff will come back, but

then we can recognize them and go, Oh, those are some of the

old stories coming back, trying to protect me from perhaps

loving again, from perhaps opening my heart and being it

safe to open my heart. And so knowing that is you get to kind

of gently and lovingly nurture yourself through this process,

but the more and more you come back to the new truth, the more

solid it becomes. And I know we've talked about this before,

where we might get an old pattern that comes up, but it

moves through so much quicker, so much easier, because we've

done this. We practice this every day, right? It's a

practice that when we do experience an expansive moment

that brings on some potential fear or or or triggers of any

sort, then we get to meet them in a way that we move through

them with a lot more grace and a lot more ease, and then come

back to that solid place. So I've noticed that in my life and

and I know that you've noticed that in yours too. We talk about

it, we're like, oh, that was yesterday. I know today's a

whole new day, isn't it? So? And that's how quickly, that's how

quickly things can change, from being in, stuck in in some of

our old patterns, the theme of this, to moving through into

living a whole new way of life.

I was just laughing thinking about with you on a

totally different time zone now, like, I'll send you a message

about something that I'm experiencing in the morning and

then, and then, like, you go through my messages, it's like,

Oh yeah, it's shifted, like, the morning I'm feeling a certain

way based on something, and then I do my practices, and then it's

a completely different me back home, back home, back home, and

and I personally find even my like, even my spiritual

practices, I feel like more connected after like, when I'm

moving through a trigger, it's almost like, so there's a part

of me that almost feels excited. It's like, okay, this sucks. It

hurts right now, but like, Ooh, I know there's gold on the other

side. Like, when you it's like, it's like birth, death and

rebirth. It's like birth, birthing a baby. Like, okay, you

could just give so essentially, choosing to stay stuck in our

patterns when we rather than, like, choosing the pattern,

rather than choosing something new, or at least practicing

something new, trying something new is like birthing a baby and

then just stopping and being like, No, you know, it's too

hard. It's painful. Like, I'd rather just No, I'm just gonna

go, I gotta go home. This is really uncomfortable. Versus is

like, you just keep going, you just keep birthing that baby. Oh

my god, the miracle and the love and the expansiveness and the

beauty and the just the unfathomable feelings that

you're going to feel with that baby on your chest after and

also the feeling of, I did this, like, Wow, I did this whole

like, No man ever did this. I did this. Like, birth is the

most miraculous thing in the world, and that's essentially

what we're doing with our essentially your sovereign whole

heroine self is the birth doula to little you every time you're

feeling pain, every time you're feeling or the death doula,

every time an old part of you needs to die, needs to be, you

know, shed and put and let go of so that you can become the woman

that the next version of you. It's like. Of birth and death,

but you're doing it for yourself, rather than depending

on your counselor, depending on your healer, depending on your

boyfriend, depending on someone else to do it for you. You're

doing it for yourself. I mean, I think that's another circling

back to the beginning of this conversation. That's one of the

greatest gifts from our our relationship, is that when I do

have a contraction, you never, ever, ever feed this story.

Never, and you always, I'll never forget when I was

triggered by that girl in Athens that was my friend. But we were

very different, and it was just like, Oh, I was so annoyed with

her. And I was like, she's so needy. She said this. She said

that you're like, go and sit in front of the mirror. Here's

another practice. And you said, Go say those things to yourself.

Go sit in front of the mirror and and and like, basically, you

just every time call me to go do my practice and to go be with

those parts of myself you. And then we have a deep, expansive

conversation about it after. And that is the most beautiful

thing, because it's like, it's so easy, so like being stuck in

our patterns, it's so easy to rely on someone else to try and

feel better, but that's not sustainable long term, and it

doesn't develop that part of you that needs to become more

solidified so that you can walk through the world from your soul

with your heart wide open.

Yeah? And actually, when we don't do that

for each other, we actually help each other stay stuck. Yes, and

this is one of the ways that we actually keep our our patterns

and our stories stuck. We choose people around us that, you know,

like, let's complain about this one thing together. Then, oh,

why? Why isn't anything changing? You know, but when we

do have friends it can lovingly also be like, actually, What?

What? What is the reflection here? What is this mirroring for

you? And then, like you said, when we do birth that part of

ourselves, and we do it enough times to know what's on the

other side, which is like the juice, it's the wholeness, it's

the self love. It's it. We lean into the thing, the story that's

that might be coming up first, the trigger so much more because

we know what's on the other side now. So we can, like you said,

Oh my gosh, I know this absolutely sucks, but I know

what's on the other side. So I'm going to go in, instead of

actually try and numb this out or try and complain about it

with other friends or whatever, I'm going to go to the heart of

this, because I know I'm going to actually meet my wholeness

and my self love here. There's something in the reflection

where I'm not in my I'm not I'm seeing this as a fragmented

part. That's why I get people to go in the mirror a lot of the

times, and they get to see that, and they get to re member that

part of themselves as projecting it out into the world. When we

do that, and we do that enough times, like when those the stuff

comes up that the triggering story, whatever, we go, Ooh,

what's the gold here? What's the treasure that I can find? And we

go into it and through it, we birth the baby. We birth

ourselves, and we trust that now, and we have a little bit

more enthusiasm, dare I say, to actually go into it, versus

trying to fight or flight, you know, to try and resist it, or

try to numb it, or whatever it is, because we know that that's

actually going To bring us more pain and suffering in the

future. So do I want to stay stuck and keep re like churning

this old story about life, about men, about people, about

whatever, or do I want to free myself and move into a really

deep, loving, connected state and frequency inside of me that

also I've seen over and over again, that when I do that,

everything changes. That's where the true change and

transformation happens. So now I'm a much more eager to go and,

quote, unquote birth the baby, versus actually stay stuck or

smaller in my quote, unquote comfort zone.

Yeah, and everything comfortable for a little bit.

But that's not really good. It's not real comfortable.

Yeah, familiar, discomfort, uncomfort zone, but

it's it the misery zone. It all of our desires, like we think

they come from chasing these external things and clinging to

these external things, but they come from exactly what you're

talking about. And then we become a magnet, and we don't

have to do anything, even purpose. Everything, everything

happens. So much more easily because life brings it to you,

because you are matching the frequency to that thing, as

opposed to thinking that thing is going to make me feel better,

because the only reason you want the guy or the job or the car or

the whatever is because you think you're going to feel a

certain way when you have that thing. So if you can create

those feelings, and you can, you can expand and cultivate and and

and be, take, take charge of the feeling frequency that you're

putting out in the world. Well, now you're going to become a

magnet to those things from the inside out, rather than becoming

a codependent on that thing to make you feel good. And it'll

only work in the beginning, and then you're gonna feel crappy

later.

Yeah, that. I love that. The the magnetism

that we exude when we're in that state is just so, so palpable.

And, and people can feel that, you know, and, and, and, you

know, bring it back to what we talked about in the middle of,

what do I say? What do I do? And that's coming from mine. Versus

when you're in your heart and your playfulness and you're in

your magnetism, you might say the silliest, stupidest thing in

front of somebody, but because somebody can feel your heart,

they'll just simply laugh and they'll it's beyond what you

think you might need to say or do to win somebody's affection

or to win somebody over in any way. Or, you know, I laugh,

because some people, when I go into real like high powered

meetings, you know, they go, oh, did you prepare properly? And

did you bring your Bulletproof Bulletproof your bullet points,

bulletproof points and all of this stuff. And you know how

this PowerPoint, PowerPoint, PowerPoint, thank

you. You guys

were trying to understand what I was trying to

say there and and now I go into meetings and I just show up in

full presence and trust whatever the heck is going to come out of

my mouth is just the right thing at the right time, and it's so

much more fun. And people love that. They're like, oh my, I've

gotten feedback, which is like, it's so refreshing that

somebody's actually real, you know, versus coming all overly

prepared and robotic and scripted, scripted, scripted

thing. And it's like, oh, people are responding to that so

differently, you know, even in these work meetings, and guess

what? Then, from that place you build relationship. And if

anybody talks about anything about, like, success in the

world of, you know, the work world, you know they talk about,

it's all about relationship. But first of all, it's like, really

the relationship with yourself, and then it overlaps into

relationship with people and connection. And you don't know

what's going to come out of your mouth, and sometimes the thing

that is most important is the silence. Like, sometimes I've

gone into meetings where it's like, Thank God I didn't come

overly prepared with my strategies, because I it was

more important for me to listen and receive than it was for me

to come with my own agenda, because they came up with ideas

that I hadn't even thought about, and then I was able to

respond with the newness of a new idea, I wouldn't have made

room and space for it if I had come with all of my agendas. So

sometimes going into the silence is is as important as anything,

just like me and you. Sometimes we get on the phone, and we

might not say anything, Nick and I like, that was one of the

things that I it was so different with him. I felt like

I didn't need to fill in the space with him. We could just be

in silence, and then we're just hugging each other with our

frequency, and that's enough.

So, yeah. So beautiful. I was just thinking I

could hear all the women, all the controllers, be like, No, I

have to prepare for the meeting. And I'm just thinking like, the

more time you spend hanging out in the silence with yourself and

in your heart, frequency and in meditation, movement, writing,

all the things we're talking about, like really connecting

with the being part of your human the more you have access

to your divine wisdom, which is far more valuable than your

intellect and everything you've learned from books and programs

and degrees and all of that, like you can be another robot

out there, or you. And actually let your soul speak, and that's

going to be the most influential for the most aligned people. For

you, right? If someone doesn't like that, perhaps they're not

aligned, but I just think of, you know, it doesn't mean, okay,

so for my masterclass, I still prepare, but the day of, I

meditate, and then I write a flip chart of like ideas, and

then I reference it. Sometimes I look at it, sometimes I don't.

But also I'm in the channel simultaneously. It's like I've

got some structure, like a little bit of a structure, so

that I don't miss anything. But also, while I'm teaching, I'm

trusting that everything I say is perfect and that it's all

going to come through, because it is coming from that deeper,

wiser, divine part that every single one of us has access to.

And I feel like so many humans are still don't even know the

superpower that they have inside of them, because they haven't

sat with themselves long enough to feel it and to to discover

it. Yeah, yeah.

And like you said, too, it's not about like

not preparing at all. There's always a sense of preparation,

you know, with obviously, you know, we do live in a world of

structure, but finding the balance between that level of

structure and also bringing your your knowing, your nowness, your

intuition, your creativity, your femininity, and having it, you

know, you should again. It's all about a wholeness. We not

negating one thing over the other, but just bringing both

aspects of self. And you know, for me with, like, when I go

into meetings, I've had, like, 10 years of preparation, of, you

know, doing, you know, writing script, the script and the

creative development. I've got like, 30 decks or whatever. But

again, even with those things, it's like, how am I showing up

in that creation as well, in that preparation? Am I doing it

all from my head, or am I tuning in also from a different place

and from a listening place, using my intuition and bringing

that with me as well. So it's Yeah, and it's it's lovely to

show up in in with people and relationships and meetings now

from that place, and it was, and that's integration, right?

That's an it more of an integrated space. And this is

that the concept of our wholeness is like, bring all of

us to the table, not just one or the other, but but all of us.

And they're all you know, even we speak about alignment, it's

like when we bring all of those aspects of ourselves in

alignment, then we attract the person, the company, whatever

that is also a reflection of that internal alignment and

integrated space as

well. Yeah, and all of that is it can be applied,

like everything we just shared about going to a meeting, less

prepared, more connected, more like I mean, when I prepare for

my masterclass, I spend like five minutes writing the flip

chart, but I spend like three hours meditating and singing and

moving and writing and connecting on a deeper and same

immersion. Every morning I'm up three hours earlier, and every

morning I'm singing and dancing and meditating and writing. And

sometimes I write poetry. Sometimes I write raps. It's

like, and then I sometimes perform the RAPs immediately

after writing them. It's like, because whatever's meant to come

through that day for those women who are there, I'm present with

them. And I even think this last immersion, I felt more plugged

in than ever. New Material came through, new content. It was

like new practices, new new perspectives, and it was so new

because it was exactly what they needed to receive. But if I

wasn't open to the channel, and I wasn't plugged in to myself

and my wholeness and my sovereignty and my being, I

would have missed that. It would have been the scripted thing

that that I did it every year. And you know, it wouldn't be

this fresh, new experience that was meant for them. And even I

think about how we're in a different time, the Aquarian Age

has begun, and like, of course, the immersion this year is not

gonna be the same as the immersion last year, and it's

never the same. So that you can bring that that presence and

that energy, I was gonna say, to dating too right, to your

relationships, to romantic relationships. Imagine being

with someone 12 years your patterns want to see them a

certain way and just hold the past against them, versus

plugging into yourself. And now you get to see Nick every

morning with fresh eyes, as opposed to projecting all the

past experiences and who you think he is onto him. Yes,

oh yeah, yeah. And being in a long term

relationship like that, that is definitely the opportunity to do

that. And it, you know, it's definitely easy to be like, you

know, capitalize on a person's predictability, you know, as to

they're going to show up and be this way. And all of that. And,

you know, talk about keeping somebody else stuck, you know,

and then because, then the dynamic, then between you in the

story, stay stuck, and there's no room for for growth and

change. And you know, that's important in relationships. You

know, think about how much me and you have changed, and in the

how since we first met each other. About, what is it, six,

seven years ago. I mean, 1820, 18, yeah, just like, oh my gosh,

you know. And, and we do that. I mean, totally guilty of that.

Like, Oh, I want to see you in this way so I can see myself in

this way, you know, and keep that identity for myself alive,

and that's like, I think, one of the opportunity, I don't want to

say challenges, but opportunities and relationships

that we find ourselves in and and seeing people with with new

eyes. But one of the ways I think we see people and new eyes

is living in the present moment, letting go of our own stories

and concepts of who we are and how we are in the world. Right?

The more we do that, the more we can do that for other people,

yeah, how often women say, like, when I'm

working with them, or they're like, Oh, I'm so like this and

like, who's like that? Like, we're constantly externalizing

it to the saboteur, because it's like, okay, you've been like

that in the past, but what if something new is going to come

through? You know, you've always been a perfectionist, or you've

always been a sacrifice, or whatever the thing might be. But

if we constantly like we're that are so much reconfiguration of

our patterns occurs when we tell stories about who we think we

are, and sometimes you think it's even a good thing, what?

But, but you're actually limiting yourself to

experiencing more of who you really are.

Yeah, yeah. I used to do that a lot of times.

Like, I'm saying things like, Oh, I'm not a technical person.

I'm a creative and, like, really just taking pride in that, you

know, I'm a creative, I'm not a technical person. And then I

realized how much I was, like, shooting myself in the foot with

all of these other things that kept me actually stuck or not

being able to progress in other ways that I wanted to, because I

was negating a certain aspect of myself. And guess what? When I

told myself the story that I wasn't a technical person, I

became a non technical person, but as soon as I let go of that,

no, oh, that's that is because I've made it so and I let go of

the story, and was open to me being a really great at

technical, being technical. I My brain was switching on in a

whole new way that I was, like, surprised over and over again. I

was like, doo. Doo, doo. This other part took over where it

was just like, Oh, I did that, and I did this, and that was

pretty easy. And now sometimes people come to me for technical

advice. And I mean, how did I do that? It was only because I let

go of the story that was in the way of that, and all of a sudden

it's like, do we know our capacity

limitless?

We're limitless, the only thing that keeps us

stuck is our own limiting belief systems and stories that we tell

ourselves, whether it's consciously or sometimes

trickier, subconsciously, and that's part of the beauty of

this work, is sometimes finding those subconscious, as we've

called them, nuggets gold treasures that are keeping

ourselves stuck or in the way of experiencing our limitless

consciousness and the limitless beauty and and, and it's, it's

hard to even put into words, but of who really, really

reality? Yeah, what? There's so much available

to us that we far beyond what I mean, what you and I have even

tapped into. We've been on this journey collectively almost 40

years, like me and you together have both been on the journey

for 20 years. And I just think it's infinite, and one of the

ways to track your subconscious beliefs is when you are stuck in

a story about this external thing and feeling relief if the

guy texts, or if the job goes through, if the whatever it's

like, and if it doesn't, and start to ask yourself curious

questions. And if it doesn't, what it'll what will it mean

about me? What? What? What does this mean about me, that he's

not texting me back? What am I believing about myself right

now? And ask yourself curious questions to get to the root,

and you'll know when you get to the root, because it will feel

really uncomfortable and really painful, but that's how you can

start to uncover what's in there, what's like playing

underneath the surface, but if you just stay in the story. Uh,

of I've been ghosted. You're reconfiguring. You're that

wound. You're just reconfiguring. You're just and

you're also just living from that part of you. So there's no

opportunity here to heal a part of the little girl and to deepen

into that sovereign woman. Yeah,

and, yeah, yeah. And one of those ways, like you

mentioned earlier, was to catch instead of just letting them run

in the background and having them just be like, Oh, as soon

as, like, you catch yourself having that thought of like, I'm

being ghosted. I must be there's something wrong with me, or

something or here it goes again, like it's just the way men are.

Okay, let's just take that one. It's just the way men are in

this way. Write it down. That's a story. Physicalize it. Take it

from the ethers of the subconscious mind. Bring it

through your body as a physical, as your physical, you know

instrument, write it down, experience that feeling. Take a

moment to feel into that and then anything that else comes up

might be anger, frustration, sadness, like feel all the

feelings that that one story is producing chemically in your

body, that on some level, it's it's addicted to because it is

like a drug. We find that it is like a drug, and then writing

the new truth down. Men are so trustworthy. Men are so loving

and supportive of who I am. I love being in this beautiful

whatever the new story that that you want to have the experience

of, and what is that? So it's not the thing. But what is the

feeling inside of you? Within that feeling supported? Ah, I'm

the one giving myself to support. So then all of a sudden

the you wanting to feel loved and supported comes from from

yourself. And also the new story is I'm feeling love and

supported within this relationship. I'm doing that now

with I'm writing before I go to bed, because I went to this

really cool workshop in London called Love brain. And there was

this neuroscientist talking about how before we go to bed,

if we write in all caps, this, this, you know, certain things

that we're experiencing or want to experience, and right before

we go to bed, our brain kind of takes that in as a as a reality,

and so I'm working with this one right now. She's like, I love my

team, like my creative team, right? I don't know who my

creative team is right at this moment, but I know what the

feeling would feel like of having a wonderful team that I

love and loves me, and we're creating in this way,

collaboratively. I know what that feeling is, so I give that

to myself. I'm in that I am my loving, creative team that I

love, and that that's the new that's the new truth, that is

the new truth. So how much of my time am I living in that new

truth versus in my old myth? The amount of time, the amount of

time we spend living energetically in our new truth,

is how much that's going to start getting manifested or

magnetized to us in our reality. It's just going to start

mirroring that experience, mirroring that internal

landscape that we are consciously co creating.

Yes, life is a frickin mirror. Is it ever a

mirror? And we get exactly the thing that we're believing

internally. I was thinking, laughing, thinking about the

trigger I had with the guy friend a couple of years ago

that you helped me through, and I wanted so badly you to, like,

hate him with me and like to be the story like I was so mad. And

it was a trigger that, like, when I actually went into it, it

was like, Whoa, you said you hate men. A part of you hates

men. And I was like, No, I don't like what I don't and you're

like, Yeah, part of you does. And I was so defensive. And then

I went into it, it was like, men can't be trusted. Men are the

worst. And it was, you know, for many years of working with women

and hearing so many stories about men, there had been this

like energy and also some of my experiences that it stuck to me.

And I didn't. I wasn't a man hater before doing this work,

and it was there, and I didn't even know it was there, but I

didn't have any male friends at the time. I only had women in my

life, and. And so I went into it, and I looked at all the

stories, I looked at all the beliefs, and I sat with them,

and I felt them

and the feelings around that, oh yeah, got to

unlock all of the anger and the rage and the frustrations and

the horror, you know, and like getting to the core of the

feeling that keeps it all there.

Yes, it was so it's so powerful,

and that's the most important thing, the feeling.

Because you can't just, like, write the positive thing on the

thing, if you haven't actually felt and moved the feeling, yes,

otherwise it's just putting icing on poo. Like it's still,

you don't want to eat the cupcake. It's still poop,

like positive affirmations, yes, don't work

because of that,

exactly because you have to move the energy. And

when I did, I look at my life now, and I love men, and I have

so many amazing men in my life, and I feel so supported by men,

and I feel so much more intimate with men, like connected to men,

strangers on the street, like, I just have a completely different

experience. And I didn't even, at the time know that I had a

discord with men other than I was like, Oh, I don't think I

ever want a boyfriend again. Like, when I left Jeff, I was

like, I don't think I ever want love again. I was shut down from

romantic love at the time, and, you know, just like not and also

feeling like, I don't think I'll ever like anyone again, because

I was looking around like not feeling anything for any man,

because that was underneath, and I didn't even know. So triggers

are such a gateway, if you know and you practice, so you and I

practice our practices every day to build the capacity, to build

the desire for us sitting in our own living room of love

internally. Like to create, to create that sanctuary inside. We

have the practice already. And then on top of the daily

practice, when we're activated, we go in, and that's the key. Is

like you build the practice every day, so that when you are

activated, you know that's the safest space to go, is to

actually go through the feelings and the stories and all of that.

So oh my gosh, I feel like you and I could talk forever. I know

we do every day, but yeah, so beautiful. So I would say any

final words you want to say about just old patterns and

about working with you. I know my life has drastically changed

since you came into it, and have helped me deepen on my own

journey with all your practices and your spiritual perspectives

and your teachings and and are you open to working with women

right now?

Yeah, I do have a couple spots. I only take a

limited one on one coaching clients, but I do have room now

that I've moved back here and got settled in California for a

couple women to do one on one coaching So absolutely, and to

your point earlier, I think it is so important to have you

know, people that can lovingly and objectively point out some

of these subconscious things that we might feel total

resistance to at first, like you were talking about with the man

hating thing, but wow, it's like, that's the thing that

causes the most transformation in Your Life. And you know, I

know you've done that for me many times in my life, and

that's what I think is so beautiful, that we can have this

honest yet loving feedback that we can give each other. But I

guess the last words are, you know, it is so possible to

access these parts of ourselves with, you know, obviously

podcasts like this that help us remember to return to who we

truly are, to be seen who we are by amazing women. And, you know,

I'm just so grateful for you and my life, and I talk about you to

everyone all the time, and our and our relationship, I just

feel so blessed that I'm able to have a relationship like this.

And you know, I attribute it to, you know, the work that I've

done with I know we've talked about my mentor that I've had in

the past that has changed my life. And it is important

sometimes, when we we have a hard time accessing these

subconscious stories to to have people that can help identify

those and help us birth the baby, birth the baby of our

truest selves, and to know that it can be sometimes it can be

challenging, but those challenges can be the most

rewarding when we see what's on the other side. And, and, yeah,

I'm just grateful to be on this podcast and to you know, Kate

and I were talked about like, what is it that we want to share

with these women today, or men and and men. And the one thing

that came up for me is to, like, feel like I'm just loving

everyone on the deepest level, as as myself. And so I guess my

last words come from the heart is that I love you all so much,

and I love you, katyana, so much.

I love you so beautiful. And I love having you

on this is, I think, your third appearance, or fourth appearance

on the new truth. We got a regular here. It's kind of

you're my co facilitator, when you can. I so those of you that

don't know we have a joint name, katiana. Is our name, Kate and

Mariana, katiana, and there is a baby calf. Well, I think it's

getting older now. It's about it's over a year. It's about a

year and a half, a year and a half year old calf in Kenya at

olopangi Farm, named after katyana, which in Swahili means

the seductive one. We learned that when we were there, they

were shocked when we suggested to name the cow katiana, but we

won in the end. So I love you so much. I'm so grateful for you,

and I love that we can model the new paradigm of sisterhood and

female relationship to so many women are longing for this, and

it does exist in everything we shared today. When you live from

your heart, when you live from your truth, your wholeness, you

attract, you attract it. And we came very magically into each

other's lives because we were, we were on the same frequency,

on the same channel. So I love you so much. Thank you for all

your wisdom and your beauty and your magic, and thank you. I

love you, and as always, share this episode with every woman

you know.