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Am I about to send my ex into my bedroom to wake up my

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husband at 2 o'clock in the morning? And if I do this,

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is my husband gonna accidentally shoot my ass?

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And so then I'm contemplating my life then too. Like, what am I doing?

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Rise and shine, ladies. You're tuned in to skirts up with Samantha and Melissa. We

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got your daily dose of hope and humor while we discuss everything from failing

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to succeeding and all the spiciness in between.

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Hey, everyone. We are back again. This is Samantha. And Melissa.

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Well, Melissa, what was your fail of the week? Okay.

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I get home, and my husband is angrily

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opening the mail. Oh, that sounds

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good. Is Brett Brett angry? Oh, aggressive? Yes.

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What? He was aggressive. He goes Oh, no. You got a ticket.

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And I was like, how do you know it was me? And he goes, because

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I already looked it up, and I was at work.

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No. Busted. And I was like, oh my gosh. I was like, okay,

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where? And he's like, it's right down the street on Peachtree because we

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live in Sugar Hill. And they did put in a camera.

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Did you know about the camera, or is this how you learned about the camera?

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I knew about it, but and even my friend Jacob and I, we drove past

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one day and we were talking. He goes, they said there's a camera, but I

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don't know where it is. And I was like, and it's probably there to scare

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people. I'm so embarrassed.

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You guys, the worst part of it is it was a school zone. Of course.

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Yeah. You know what's interesting? What? My fancy

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little mom car, it tells me when a school

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system with a camera is coming up and it goes, ding. What?

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Ding. You're going too fast. Ding. Ding. Really? And it

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warns me that I am entering a school zone with a camera and that I

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better slow my ass down. That is sweet. What car do you have for everybody?

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It is a Telluride. Yeah. The newest addition. That's what,

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It's pretty fun. It is. And that's what my one of my best friend's Pyle,

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she her husband's got a time No. Telluride. I'll tell you a fun story about

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this telluride another time. But Oh, wait. No. You kinda have to tell it now.

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Oh, is that gonna be my fail of the week now? That's a really

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good fail. Alright. So we'll call my fail

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of the week my Telluride fail. Alright. So I don't get

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out much. I don't I don't go anywhere. This is before seizure time, though,

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so I was getting out at least more. You were actually leaving.

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So Melissa and I had gotten together with my friend Courtney, my my best

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friend. Her bestie. And we were going she listened to this podcast

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called, I've Had It, and it's her favorite podcast. And she asked us if we'd

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go with her so that she could go see them live. And so we go

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with her to the show. We had a great time. Courtney and I are not

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responsible together, mind you. Like, anything bad that could happen will

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happen, and we we don't need to go into that. We did have

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fun, though. A little bit. Lots of fun. Like, it's

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probably something We didn't do anything we did not do thing that would break

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any marriage vows or anything like that. Not. We didn't do any good girls.

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That I wouldn't tell my mama. Maybe not her mama. But Oh, yeah. I

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don't talk to my mom about a lot of things, but I told my husband.

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Oh, our husbands would be so proud of us. We did something, and

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nothing bad happened. That is so cute. I think I must have already

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left at that point. Literally, we high fived at the door, and we

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were like, oh, chest pound. We did something good. Nothing

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bad happened. Our husbands are gonna be so proud of us. Like,

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yes. We're adults now. Well,

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I start driving home. And I'm driving home

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and and I'm probably a little over halfway home. We live, like, an hour

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away, hour and some away. And I'm over halfway home. My

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husband and I have already gotten off the phone with each other. He's trying to

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stay awake for me, you know, it's way past our bedtime. Oh, that's sweet.

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So I'm driving home. Now I'm on the stretch of, like,

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darkness road because I live out in the sticks, and

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I'm driving in and I was using my phone as my GPS and everyone tells

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you, like, you know, you know, it's illegal to not hold your phone and drive

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and they make these little contraptions that'll hold your phone for you. And I'm

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just not that, just not that with it even though my fancy Telluride

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also has a Oh, it does? It also has a map. It's my

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phone bell. And just like any other normal human, I go and

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I catch my phone mid fall, and I stick my arm down in between that

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hole. Wait. Is the is the success in the story that you caught your phone?

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Sure. Still nothing bad

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happened. She got it. I caught it before it fell in between the crack of

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abyss, but then my arm was

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stuck. My arm was stuck in the hole. Well, you followed it into the crack

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of the abyss. I did, but Isn't that what everyone does? You go and you

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catch your phone and you try to catch it before it all. Extinct. I cannot

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fault you. I wouldn't anyway. Well okay. So

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there is there is a positive to the story. Alright. So I'm driving.

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My arm is literally literally stuck in this

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hole of my car. And so now I'm driving at 2 o'clock in the

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morning sideways in my car where my head I'm short. It's just barely above

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the steering wheel because my arm is fucking stuck. And I'm driving, and

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I, like, cannot get my arm out, and it hurts. Like, I can feel my

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skin being cut. And I'm like, what do I do? And I'm about to

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drive past a police station. I'm like, do I pull over? Because I'm trying to

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call Simon. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah. So my car with my other

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hand, you know, like, you know Weren't you trying to use voice command or something?

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I hit my voice command real fast and I, you know, stuck sideways and I'm

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like, call sexy bearded man because that's my husband. Why is that

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girl? So I tell my car to call him. He doesn't answer. And, I mean,

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we've just been off the phone, like, for 10 minutes. The only thing I know

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what to do is call my mom at 2 o'clock in the morning. And so

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she answers the phone. She's like, are you okay? And I'm like, I'm like, you

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are. It's like my arm is stuck. And she's like, where what do you mean

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your arm is stuck? And I had to explain to her where my arm is

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stuck and why it's stuck. And I I was like, I'm passing a police station.

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I don't know what to do. Like, my arm is being cut. Do I stop?

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And she goes, did you drink? And I was like, I mean, like

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hours ago. And she was like, I don't know. I'd be kinda worried

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that that, like, you could get in trouble for that. And

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I was like, maybe. Okay. I'm a keep driving. And then, like, my arm is

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just it's throbbing. I can feel circulation being cut off. It was

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hours ago, though. Like, there's no way you were driving. Probably. I don't know.

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But, like, I don't know. Is still scary. Yeah. You don't know what can

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happen? And so then I'm passing a fire station. I'm like, mom, what do I

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do? Like, do I stop at the fire station? Do I ask them to help

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me? And then she goes, I don't know. She goes, maybe if you can

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just get home. So don't call mom. She's like,

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if you can just get home. So she stays on the phone with

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me for the rest of the 25 minutes and my arm is fucking stuck in

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the car on the way home. And I pull into the driveway, and then I'm

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staring at my house. I'm like, mom, if you're not answering the

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phone, how is he gonna know I'm out here? And she goes,

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oh, I don't know. She goes, well, try calling him

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again. I'm like, okay. So then I go to the other line. I try to

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call him again. Of course, he doesn't answer. I come back over. I'm like, mom,

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he's not answering. He's asleep. And I was like, I could honk my horn and

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wake up one of my kids, and hopefully, they'll go get him. You know?

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And it's like but then I gotta think of my kids why I'm fucking stuck

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in my car at 2 o'clock in the morning. And then and so

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then I was like, I don't know what to do. Call my ex. And

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so my mom said, you want me to call Andrew? And I was like, I

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guess he'll hear it. And so she calls Andrew

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and he answers. And he lives 8 minutes from our house. I did tell

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you in episode 1 that he is a really nice guy. You did. He will

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be there for you. You will help us and our kids, including mine and

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Simon's child. That is not his. And I didn't give him moment whenever.

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That is just him. He's single, ladies, though, if anyone's curious. He is single.

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So Andrew answers. He knows my mom can't come and help me because that would

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be like World War 4 and 3? Is that what people say? 4 or 3?

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3. Oh, whatever. There's I don't know what I mean. Okay. We're

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continuing on. So am I about to

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send my ex into my bedroom to wake up my husband

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at 2 o'clock in the morning? And if I do this, is my husband gonna

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accidentally shoot my ex?

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So then I'm contemplating my life then too. Like, what am I doing? And

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so somehow, Andrew pulls up and

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Simon is walking out of the house. Oh. Somehow. I I, like, I don't

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remember. I think Simon might have finally woken up, saw my 20,000

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phone calls and called me back, and Andrew's standing next to me. And I was

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like, I need you to come outside. I need you to come outside right now

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because things are happening and Andrew's here and I need you outside. And

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he was like, oh, okay. So he comes stumbling outside. So then the

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boys are talking about, like, looking at my hand and they're like, why can't just

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pull it out? And I was like, do you see these

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cuts on my arm? That's for me trying to pull it out. I am bleeding.

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And so so then we're, like, trying to my mom's on the

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phone and she's like, oh my god. I'm like, what is that? My baby.

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Don't let the car eat my baby. You know, instead of the dingo.

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Yes. I do. Thank you for explaining. I

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don't know anything about where the dingo came from, but I know that saying.

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Oh, I think it's from, I'll think of the name. I'll think of the

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movie. It's from a nineties movie. Well, I'll stop making the story so dramatic.

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The boys end up But it was. You're stuck in your cart 3 in the

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morning, and you go to bed. It was dramatic. The boys, one of them's pulling

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one of them I can't remember which one's doing what now, but one of them's

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leaning over me and, had, like, unbuckled me and then is

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pulling my seat from my right side, is pulling my seat as far as I

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can towards the driver's network. One of them had my hand and was trying to

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help maneuver my hand, and one of them was pulling the seat away trying to

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get But you got out. I got out. Yeah. I I eventually, I

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did get out. Andrew went home. Simon was like, what the hell? And I was

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like, you'd be so proud of us. Nothing bad happened

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until the car ate me. Because it ate me. So

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that's the Telluride story. We can blame it on the telluride. Telluride. And Andrew

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immediately the next day bought me the these, like, little gap things.

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And so That is adorable. Didn't know that part of the story, and that's hilarious.

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Until now that there's a gap thing in my car. I didn't even know they

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had those. I didn't know either. But, apparently, it's common that tellurides eat your hand.

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Damn it. You know, don't stick your hand down that hole.

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Out of all the holes. Don't stick your hand down that

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one. Thank God for voice call. Yeah. Because I was able to call

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for help. Yeah. And, I'm sure there's a positive 3. Still

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nothing technically bad happened. I'm gonna say the positive is now we can share

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with you in our links that little spacer thing Yes.

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So it doesn't happen to you. The moral of the story, don't stick your hand

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down the fucking hole. Don't do it. Or just get a spacer thing or get

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a spacer. Moral of the story. Moral of the story

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is sometimes there's not a real positive to your

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fail, but a fail is a good way to remind

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yourself Not to do it again. That. But

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on the flip side, tell me, do you know how many fucking school tickets we've

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gotten? Like, at one point, I thought that we're our license was gonna be revoked.

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Like, serious. We got, like They don't mess around. It's we got, like, obviously

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school zone speeding tickets in, like, a couple of months span. And I was

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like between Simon and I, like, between the 2 of us. And I literally thought,

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like, when do they take your license? Like, how many of these can you get

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before you, like, really get in trouble? Yeah. That's a good question. Maybe I should

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look that up. You should look that up. Well,

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so We have learned. Live and learn. Live and learn. Don't stick

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your hand in holes. Don't speed in the school's bones. That's right. Don't

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speed. Well, kids, that is fun. Yeah.

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Well, no. I didn't do it because I just did it because I was being

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absent minded. Oh. And, actually, I wasn't really

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speeding for the regular. If the if the

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yeah. Okay. Fine. That's no excuse. You shouldn't speed in this one for sure because

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kids should die. Let's let's take Simon's car out for a spin. Oh, that would

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be so fun. He has a nice car. It goes oh. Oh, really?

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Yeah. I do. It, like, sucks you back into the back of the seat when

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you, like, tap the gas because it's so, like, it's got that horsepower that's so

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hard. It just, like, it sucks you back. That sounds fun. It is fun.

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I wonder if we could, like, rent can't you, like, go to a racetrack and

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You can. Rent, like, super fast cars? And I have a burning desire

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to drive, like, a, McLaren someday. Like, I

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maybe want one. I don't know anything about cars, but I would want a Corvette.

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To you while you drive that? That'd be nice. Would love to drive a fast

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car. I love I don't know what, though. Like, yeah, I know what a Corvette

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is, but I don't really know what a Clarin is. Well, I'm still at minimum

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6 months away, so we'll see what happens. 6 months away from driving Mc oh,

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I was like, she's about to be rich. I do. She's

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talking about her seizure. I wish. So what's on the front with

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that? Well If you want to share. If we

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are feeling a little froggy next week, I get this fun

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little contraption. What's on the front? If we're feeling froggy, like, if we're feeling, like,

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you know, a little frisky, like, we wanna have some excitement. I've

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never heard froggy in my life. Not the right word? I can't

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imagine, like, my husband wanting to get have sex with me and being like, you

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cute little frog, you. Is froggy not the right

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word? I don't think it is. Oh, I might have made that. Hey. Hey. Correct

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me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't you say frisky? No. Because frisket's not the word

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I was trying to say. She was trying to say froggy. Okay. I'm moving on.

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Froggy like smells frog. Like, if we wanna get a little crazy. A little yeah.

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Yeah. Froggy. Like, crazy. Like a frog. That makes

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sense. Right? We will record our next episode

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in video while I got this fun little ambulatory

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EEG strapped to my head. You're talking about us feeling froggy,

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not you and Simon feeling so good. Feeling froggy. Oh my god. So maybe frisky

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is not the word. It wasn't the word. We're not gonna get frisky on camera,

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Melissa. Still, I wouldn't say, like, froggy either, but that's okay.

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Yeah. If we are feeling like little frogs next week I can't

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even say that with a straight face. Then we are gonna

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film her with the e so what she's basically saying is you are gonna be

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wearing one for how long? 3 days. Okay. Good. Good. Because

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we really did. Why don't you can you share what happened last time when we

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were recording? Oh, yeah. This is actually a good thing, and it

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was It actually did turn out good. That's another fail for that should have

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been my fail today. Anyways, it's not really a fail. It's not really a fail.

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They just wanna hear all the stories. We tried to record this episode for

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y'all earlier in the week. We tried to do it, like, 5 days ago while

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we were recording. And all of a sudden,

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I like, I don't even know if the words coming out of my mouth

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were even what we were talking about. I'm gonna be quite honest. And all of

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a sudden, I just remember I just remember shaking

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my head and, not remembering what we were talking about.

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And I remember Melissa saying, are you about to have a seizure? I think you're

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having a seizure. And I'm like, no. No. No. No. I'm fine. And then

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I it it was a seizure. And so she called Simon and was

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like, what am I supposed to do? Like, I don't like and he was like,

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oh, okay. Well, let's see if we can give her the emergency meds, but he

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didn't have the answer. We don't have the answer. Had a seizure. And,

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too late to give the emergency medication. Seizures knock me out. I

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am so confused. I can't, put together words, sentences. In

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Andrew's words, her body is now trying to catch up with

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itself. And I would say that's what it felt like. And for the next

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couple of it takes me 2 days to be able to put words

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and sentences together that makes sense. It just

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doesn't process. It I can't process things. And it wasn't until

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about, like, probably 6 that evening when I finally was, like, at least

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coherent enough to be, like, thinking about, like, man, what? This happened

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again? Like, I'm really sick of this. And I'm sitting there, and I'm,

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like, sitting there, and I go, Simon. He's like, what?

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We were recording an episode. It's funny that you remember it that

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way. Not funny. It means that you weren't coherent because we

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did talk about that. Are you serious? Mhmm. Yeah. We're like, we got you on

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the recording, and we replayed it and watched it together. No. I don't remember that.

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Yeah. We did. Man. Yeah. They get you. It I don't know.

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That's wild. Well, I think I have it on camera. And you're able to show

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him? Yeah. We we watched it together, and then we cut the, like, clip out

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into a smaller clip of where you see it happening. And then

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you see, like, how it came about and then you see the the after where

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I just can't put words together. I can't put a thought together.

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And we're able to send that to the doctor, and now we have the EEG

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schedule for next week for 3 days. Which is great because it's been

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how many months now trying to figure out and figure out

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type, which this doctor is a new doctor and he's on his

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shit. He already, like, knows what kind we're having. Just

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wants to get that evidence. Did the video help or

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hasn't seen it or is it not yet? Waiting on that. But so that

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was actually a really good thing. It was. It felt like a fail. I was

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very upset. I was depressed. She's still the rest of the day. Herself. But,

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like, I was you wouldn't be impressed with somebody who

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broke their leg and couldn't walk across the room or somebody who had,

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I don't know, diabetes and couldn't eat the cake for their

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birthday. I don't know. Like the only thing I have that I can control

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is this podcast, what we're doing, what we're talking about,

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when we record it. Like, this is the only thing I have to control in

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my life right now. So when something like that happens unexpectedly,

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I can't even take care of my kid at that point. I can't take care

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of my kid at that point. I'm gonna throw yes. That is awful. I'm a

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throw in a a a a wrench to that.

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In the Buddhist mindset. Oh, now we're getting Buddhist.

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But one of the main things that is taught

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is that we have no control over anything. We don't own anything. We

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don't have control. Anything that we have could go away any given moment.

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And if we can accept that, we're gonna actually be able to roll with the

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punches a lot easier. I'll think on that. Think on it. I'll think on

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that. See how I feel. Life is rough, but we're getting somewhere. She

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is going to possibly be wearing the what's it called? Headset?

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Ambulatory EEG. Next recording.

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Alright. Well, today, our episode is making friends

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after our thirties. And, let's see.

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Today's episode is called making friends after your thirties.

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So I remember when my mom turned 30. Like, I

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remember that day, the day my mom turned 30. We lived in Texas.

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She's she's depressed. She's really sad leading up to this day. Like,

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she's just dreading it. So she gets a card in the mail from her friend.

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It's a picture of an old, old, old woman with boobs sagging to the

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ground. And it's something about, you know, now

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you're now you're old. You're 30. I remember she spent the whole day in the

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bathtub just very upset, didn't wanna talk to anyone. She just sat in the tub

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all day crying over being 30 in this tub. And

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and and then, you know, later in her

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thirties, we are in Georgia and she's doing the carpool

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from, you know, my school to ROTC and she's carpooling with me

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and all my other friends from ROTC driving us back and forth to wherever.

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And I remember, like, she it was to the point where she'd be like, y'all

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need to turn that music down. I'm trying to see. And we're like You're 30

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now. You're blind? She she yeah. She, I mean, at this point, she's probably 38.

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Oh, yeah. 35, 38, whatever. She's in her thirties. And I'm like, how is that

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gonna help you? And I'm cracking up. She's like, you know, if she pops a

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curb or or or any little minor thing that she does on accident while she's

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driving, I'm like, god. Jesus Christ, mom. Like, when you turn 30, I think

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the license should be provoked. And then she would get so offended. She'd be like,

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you just wait. You just wait until you're 30 and you see how you

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feel. And jokes on me

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because I am 30, just turned 30, and I can't drive.

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Oh. I find it hilarious. My mom hand up some

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karma. It makes my mom very sad when I say that, but it cracks me

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the hell up because I'm like glad that you're laughing about it. Joke's on me.

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What age when you were little did you like, if someone said,

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hey, 10 year old Melissa, at what age do you then call

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someone old? What age would you say? Maybe I'm

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old now because I feel like I'm so removed from that that I don't know

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what I would have said in all. I would have said 30. Yeah. Yeah. I

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for some reason, realized that might have said 50 or 60. I'm

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respectful. My kids. Because my dad told me you're halfway dead at 50. We

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say that we're getting old and that we're so old all the time that my

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kids at, like, 7 years old,

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they're like, you're not old until you're 80. Oh, that's sweet. And we're just, like,

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looking at them and we're like, How are they so advanced? How are they so

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smart? And evolved. Yeah. I was gonna share

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I know we're talking about our thirties. The worst birthday I ever had

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was when I turned 20, and that was because my dad and

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my mom so I was a nanny, and I lived in Ohio. And I, caught

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a bus for my birthday and went down to Kentucky where my parents lived.

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And while I was there, my dad just started,

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like, he started, like, just, like, yelling and getting

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upset with me. Like, you're 20 years see, in in the Mormon church,

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you're kind of old if you're not like and I had never really had a

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steady boyfriend at that age, and he

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was just getting on my back. Like, you are 20. You're

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not married. You're not even having a prospect of getting married.

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And I just felt awful. I felt like I was so old and I was

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gonna be this old maid and nobody was gonna want me.

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And so I was just crying. I was I was I was just bawling and

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my dad was going at me. And that was my 20th birthday. And I remember

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thinking, I'm so old and now I wish I could go back because,

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I was even later, like, after my mission when I was

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23, 24, and I was in the singles singles ward is what you call it.

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Because in when you reach the age of 18, instead of going to church with

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just everybody else, you go to church with other singles, other people up into

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the age of 30 because they want you to freaking get married. Interesting.

365
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Yeah. And as a return missionary, because there's another old trope in the church

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where girls only go on missions because they couldn't get married. Oh. And

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they weren't cute enough. And so I

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felt like there was something wrong with me as soon as I turned 20.

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And, that was hard. That was really hard because I do wish I could

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go back and say, yeah. Normal. Fine. Yes.

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You're normal. 20 is so young. 23. 25 is

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young. Yeah. But yeah. So, anyway, in our thirties, we still don't have

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our shit together, it feels like. Oh, we do. Yeah. You look. You

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look at people in their thirties when you're in your twenties, and you think, I

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still when someone goes, what do I do? When, like, someone in their twenties goes,

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what do I do about this? Like, I'm I don't know what to do. I'm

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like, I don't know. Go ask them to double in the Right. Like, just stare

378
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at me silently. And I'm like, oh, shit. That's me. Mhmm. Oh, okay.

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I should have an answer. That's us. When I turned

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30, I think my 30th birthday has probably been my favorite birthday,

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the one that stood out the most. I have been planning that thing for,

382
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and and this was just a couple months ago. I've been planning that birthday for

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a year. That's really cute. My best friend Courtney and I, I knew that we

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were gonna do, a photoshoot, and we dressed up in pink tutus.

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With Courtney's permission, can we link some of your photos? Yeah. Of

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course. I will link those. Look them up. They are so cute. She

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did a smash cake, and, of course, I'm just a little princess. So, like, you

388
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know, I just stood pretty with my cake, and, I don't drink alcohol

389
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anymore, but, you know, acted like I had a bottle

390
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of champagne and, you know, acted cool. And, like You can be cool without

391
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alcohol, but I think you're just saying you wanted to get across the idea that

392
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it's a party. But, also, like, that's our thing. Like, our

393
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progression photos that we do together, it we have this pose. Do you do

394
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:48,800
progression photos? We do. Like, every year? Not every year. It's

395
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like at big milestones. So, like, when I was pregnant with

396
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Nora is honestly when this photo progression started. We have some with

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our kids too that we do. But with us, I started when I was pregnant

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with Nora, and and there's a photo a very specific photo of us sitting on

399
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the couch in a specific way, and I have a plate sitting on my stomach

400
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of food, and she's got the alcohol because she can drink and I can't. Right?

401
00:24:11,115 --> 00:24:14,875
But, yeah. So I planned my birthday. I planned, me and Courtney with our

402
00:24:14,875 --> 00:24:18,520
husband, Courtney and I, with our husbands. We went to Mexico for the

403
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first time and we stayed in a adult only, all inclusive. About

404
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,780
y'all list. It was me.

405
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It was just it was so needed, especially with all the health issues we've been

406
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going on, going on with me. And then,

407
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my poor husband has so much family drama going on with his

408
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mother-in-law and trying to help his sisters and just the whole thing. And so we

409
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needed it. We needed a break first off, so it was great that I planned

410
00:24:43,350 --> 00:24:46,425
it. Yeah. So it was really enjoyable. I had a lot of time. We stayed

411
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in a really nice hotel when we did the photo. So it's just like a

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birthday that just extended and kept doing great. I had a I had

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a blast. I loved it. I don't even know if I was expecting it to

414
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be so good because, you know, there's my mom's experience and

415
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then, there's Friends. I think most of us

416
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binge watch Friends on a regular basis. And you think of that episode where Rachel

417
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turns 30, and it shows you a clip of when all of them turned

418
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30, Rachel's mad about it and Joey's crying about it, yelling at his

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birthday cake. Why, god? Why? We had a deal. It was not

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supposed to be me. And that's why this episode is called that, because that's the

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30 clip that comes to my head, even though it could have been 30, flirty

422
00:25:24,865 --> 00:25:28,510
and thriving. But I like Joey's version. My

423
00:25:28,510 --> 00:25:32,350
god. Why? Do you remember were you excited for

424
00:25:32,350 --> 00:25:36,065
your thirties? What what did you what did you do? It's weird because, I

425
00:25:36,065 --> 00:25:39,445
actually don't remember my 30th birthday. I really

426
00:25:39,585 --> 00:25:42,940
don't. I know where I was and what I was doing.

427
00:25:44,539 --> 00:25:48,220
So in 2008, I did have an

428
00:25:48,220 --> 00:25:52,025
emotional breakdown that led me to move from

429
00:25:52,025 --> 00:25:54,905
South Carolina to Texas to stay with some of my best friends in the whole

430
00:25:54,905 --> 00:25:58,430
world. So her name is

431
00:25:58,430 --> 00:26:02,190
also Melissa, but it's Scott and Melissa. They're married, and they have 2

432
00:26:02,190 --> 00:26:05,890
kids. So I always call her Melissa Walker, by the way. But,

433
00:26:06,510 --> 00:26:10,315
Melissa and Scott took me in. They helped me get on my

434
00:26:10,315 --> 00:26:14,155
feet. I had a dog. I had Waverly. She was my bestest friend in

435
00:26:14,155 --> 00:26:17,100
the whole world. Like, when I was when I first moved to the walkers and

436
00:26:17,100 --> 00:26:20,780
I was going through a rough time, I remember saying, I really wish I just

437
00:26:20,780 --> 00:26:24,615
had a dog in there, like, get a dog. And I thought, it's this

438
00:26:24,615 --> 00:26:27,835
is your house. Like, you don't have any pets, and

439
00:26:29,575 --> 00:26:32,830
they didn't care. They just wanted me to be healthy and happy. And we got

440
00:26:32,830 --> 00:26:36,210
a dog, and she was an inside dog, and she was my baby.

441
00:26:36,510 --> 00:26:40,335
And obviously yeah. Yeah. Right? I

442
00:26:40,455 --> 00:26:43,495
when I was 30, I was I was in school. At the time, I thought

443
00:26:43,495 --> 00:26:47,095
I was gonna go for nursing. Yeah. I

444
00:26:47,095 --> 00:26:49,860
honestly don't remember a lot. I think I just was doing a lot to try

445
00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:53,500
to get on my feet, and that's okay. That

446
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:56,860
there there are time frames for everyone where it's just getting on your feet. I

447
00:26:56,860 --> 00:27:00,605
think most of my twenties was swimming. Yeah. Yeah. I don't

448
00:27:00,605 --> 00:27:04,045
have a lot of memories about the 30th birthday. I do have a lot of

449
00:27:04,045 --> 00:27:07,860
memories about my thirties. Of course, nothing

450
00:27:07,860 --> 00:27:10,340
was the way I thought that it was gonna be when I was younger. I

451
00:27:10,340 --> 00:27:14,100
thought I was gonna have my shit together. I was gonna be married. I

452
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:17,745
was gonna have kids because that's what I was kind of raised to

453
00:27:18,125 --> 00:27:21,965
have and want. And the truth is, I think I

454
00:27:21,965 --> 00:27:24,150
I did want kids, to tell you the truth.

455
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:30,130
We went my ex husband and I, we actually had some

456
00:27:30,130 --> 00:27:33,855
miscarriages. I was nannying. I

457
00:27:33,855 --> 00:27:37,315
wasn't, like, working in any kind of corporate position.

458
00:27:37,615 --> 00:27:40,470
I had gone to school when I was younger to be a dental lab technician,

459
00:27:40,470 --> 00:27:44,309
but when I had, like, my breakdown and everything in 2008, I moved to

460
00:27:44,309 --> 00:27:48,070
Texas and just kinda dropped everything. The walkers were so supportive in letting me

461
00:27:48,070 --> 00:27:51,725
just kind of take time, not do anything for a little bit. I

462
00:27:51,725 --> 00:27:55,405
kinda helped out around the house and watched their kids and then through,

463
00:27:55,725 --> 00:27:59,185
word-of-mouth. And since I had nannied when I was younger at the age of 19,

464
00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:03,200
word-of-mouth got around, and, I just started babysitting and nannying for a

465
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,340
lot of people. And I did that for 9 years. I also worked

466
00:28:07,085 --> 00:28:09,745
in a at a barn. This,

467
00:28:10,765 --> 00:28:14,145
helped somebody. Her name was Gloria. She was also an amazing person.

468
00:28:14,990 --> 00:28:18,269
Yeah. So my thirties weren't what I thought. Let's just put it that way. I

469
00:28:18,269 --> 00:28:21,950
felt like I should have had been further along than I was. I think

470
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:25,414
everyone's starting to learn that there is no I think leading up to your

471
00:28:25,414 --> 00:28:29,174
thirties, everyone starts freaking out of, like, my life should be together. Like,

472
00:28:29,174 --> 00:28:31,970
I should know exactly who I am. I should know exactly what I'm doing. And

473
00:28:31,970 --> 00:28:35,810
that's just not the case. I think your twenties are a trash fire. And

474
00:28:35,810 --> 00:28:38,450
so then you're, like, leading up to your 30, then you're like, holy shit. I

475
00:28:38,450 --> 00:28:42,285
still am on fire. I'm still on fire. And your thirties is figuring it

476
00:28:42,285 --> 00:28:45,645
out. Getting it together is what I think your fingers are. Far as to say

477
00:28:45,645 --> 00:28:49,005
your whole life is just figuring it out. And I have a feeling because here

478
00:28:49,005 --> 00:28:51,920
I am in my forties, I don't feel like I have it figured out.

479
00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:56,780
And I wonder we'd have to ask, but I wonder if there's people in their

480
00:28:56,780 --> 00:29:00,065
sixties, seventies and eighties who feel like they still don't have it figured out. I

481
00:29:00,065 --> 00:29:03,745
don't know. But I would venture far as as far as to say, life is

482
00:29:03,745 --> 00:29:07,400
just about figuring it out. And there is not I just it gets

483
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:11,240
really frustrating all these societal, like, mile

484
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:14,600
markers that people try to give us. Like, you should be here. You should be

485
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:18,155
doing this. You should. I just don't think that's how it works. I think we're

486
00:29:18,155 --> 00:29:21,455
all very unique individuals, and we all have a different

487
00:29:21,675 --> 00:29:25,480
path that we're taking to get where we're going in the end.

488
00:29:25,860 --> 00:29:29,620
Melissa Walker, she I look at her and I'm always like, she's got

489
00:29:29,620 --> 00:29:33,414
it together. I wanna be her when I grow up. She's my best friend, obviously,

490
00:29:33,414 --> 00:29:36,855
but, she's a therapist. She owns her own

491
00:29:36,855 --> 00:29:39,970
house. She has a practice, her own practice.

492
00:29:40,270 --> 00:29:43,950
She owns 3 or 4

493
00:29:43,950 --> 00:29:47,550
horses. She just has all the things that I look at and

494
00:29:47,550 --> 00:29:51,105
think, oh, I want to be there. But she in her

495
00:29:51,105 --> 00:29:54,625
thirties, she in her thirties, she had some anxiety and

496
00:29:54,625 --> 00:29:58,440
depression issues, and then she ended up going back to school. There's just

497
00:29:59,380 --> 00:30:02,500
no You don't know what's gonna fulfill you. Oh, yeah. So what I was gonna

498
00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:05,825
say is she always says, as a therapist now, one of her favorite sayings, and

499
00:30:05,825 --> 00:30:08,885
I've taken it on and I tell everybody, don't shoot on yourself.

500
00:30:09,345 --> 00:30:13,184
Right? Because literally, like, saying should is shitting

501
00:30:13,184 --> 00:30:17,029
on yourself. Like, there is no should. If you could have done that, you would

502
00:30:17,029 --> 00:30:20,570
have done that. You weren't in the capacity or mind frame to do

503
00:30:20,789 --> 00:30:24,495
whatever you think you should have done. As long as we're always

504
00:30:24,495 --> 00:30:28,255
trying our best, that's what we should do. Yeah. That's the only should. Like,

505
00:30:28,255 --> 00:30:31,135
that's In my opinion. I wonder if Melissa would say that. That's a good mind

506
00:30:31,135 --> 00:30:34,880
frame to try and adapt on. Yeah. I

507
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,500
feel like I made a lot of friends in my twenties. Right?

508
00:30:38,799 --> 00:30:42,495
I was going to the singles ward at church, and

509
00:30:42,495 --> 00:30:46,054
I have a few friends from there that are still, like, ride or die. Like,

510
00:30:46,054 --> 00:30:49,775
I one in particular, Nikki. Like, we haven't talked in years, but I know if

511
00:30:49,775 --> 00:30:53,110
I called her up, she would be there for me. But for the most part,

512
00:30:53,110 --> 00:30:56,010
it was kind of superficial. I'm not gonna lie.

513
00:30:57,030 --> 00:31:00,665
But then Melissa Walker and Scott, they were there for me.

514
00:31:00,825 --> 00:31:03,465
I met them when I was 19, actually, in Ohio when I was a nanny

515
00:31:03,465 --> 00:31:07,225
there. And so and it's true. I moved there, and I

516
00:31:07,225 --> 00:31:10,820
didn't have any friends. And so my thirties was me

517
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:14,800
trying to rebuild my life and make friends. Right? So one of the

518
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,395
first things I did, and it wasn't even on purpose to make friends, it

519
00:31:18,395 --> 00:31:22,155
was more because I wanted to play board games,

520
00:31:22,155 --> 00:31:25,910
which is so dorky. But, I had a friend

521
00:31:25,910 --> 00:31:29,669
in South Carolina who we would he was my best friend. We would get

522
00:31:29,669 --> 00:31:32,730
together and we would go to the mall, and there was this little tiny

523
00:31:33,265 --> 00:31:36,865
board game store that would let you open any game and play it.

524
00:31:37,665 --> 00:31:41,170
Mhmm. Because she wanted that was that's part of how guys buy any?

525
00:31:41,650 --> 00:31:45,430
No. But, like, we were also, like, young college age. And,

526
00:31:45,810 --> 00:31:48,450
anyway, so when I moved to Texas, I was like, I would like to play

527
00:31:48,450 --> 00:31:52,065
some games. And the walkers not that they wouldn't have played with

528
00:31:52,065 --> 00:31:55,904
me, but I didn't really own that many. And I don't know. So I

529
00:31:55,904 --> 00:31:58,965
went up online and I looked up a meetup. I went to the meetup.com

530
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,960
and looked up a meetup, and I found a bunch of people would meet up

531
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,720
at this. It was called Cafe Brazil. They don't and it's just people

532
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,515
get together. And at meetups, people are open.

533
00:32:10,575 --> 00:32:14,275
You're meeting people who are doing what you're already interested in. So, like, on meetup.com,

534
00:32:15,135 --> 00:32:18,509
you can find, like, hiking groups. You can find biking

535
00:32:18,509 --> 00:32:22,350
groups. You can find board game groups. You can find knitting groups. That's

536
00:32:22,350 --> 00:32:26,195
what social media is like now. It's true. But this is very

537
00:32:26,195 --> 00:32:29,635
specifically for groups. You get together to do that

538
00:32:29,635 --> 00:32:32,935
thing. Right? Yeah. So you're kinda meeting somebody

539
00:32:33,490 --> 00:32:37,330
who maybe travels your like that now. That's awesome. Yeah. We

540
00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:41,170
ran into a a group in, where were we? In in Costa

541
00:32:41,170 --> 00:32:44,775
Rica. There was, like, a large group of people and Simon had stopped

542
00:32:44,775 --> 00:32:48,535
and asked what they were celebrating, and it was a bunch of singles that

543
00:32:48,535 --> 00:32:51,950
wanted to travel to Costa Rica. And so all the singles

544
00:32:52,890 --> 00:32:56,170
signed up for this trip and traveled together, so they didn't have to do it

545
00:32:56,170 --> 00:32:59,975
alone, but could still do it as a singles. That's awesome. Yeah. I have made

546
00:32:59,975 --> 00:33:03,575
some of my most best friends in the world to this day through that group.

547
00:33:03,575 --> 00:33:06,475
Shout out Lindy, Nancy, Daryl, Blake,

548
00:33:07,460 --> 00:33:10,820
Monty, but, feel left out if she forgot your

549
00:33:10,820 --> 00:33:14,660
name. Please don't. The point moral

550
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:17,755
of the story story is that Melissa does not have a hard time making friends.

551
00:33:18,375 --> 00:33:22,215
Well, it was hard. I went that first

552
00:33:22,215 --> 00:33:25,770
time. It was uncomfortable because they're all playing games I don't know, and I

553
00:33:25,770 --> 00:33:29,370
felt kinda stupid. But when you're at a meetup,

554
00:33:29,370 --> 00:33:33,185
you're almost automatically around people who are trying to

555
00:33:34,125 --> 00:33:37,885
bond over something, and they're gonna be open and accepting

556
00:33:37,885 --> 00:33:41,160
and be like, here, let me show you how we do it. That makes sense.

557
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:45,000
Right? So that was a really easy way for me to make friends, and it

558
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:48,220
just kinda happened. Like, somebody I oh, I met it was CW.

559
00:33:48,615 --> 00:33:51,835
I sat down at a game. Hi, CW. And

560
00:33:52,535 --> 00:33:56,375
he was like, hey. I think you would like to come over

561
00:33:56,375 --> 00:34:00,000
to another game night group that we have, like, that's at

562
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,679
someone's house. And then I started getting when I went to that, I was

563
00:34:03,679 --> 00:34:07,145
able to kind of like, you're fine. I was able to

564
00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:10,824
get more, I don't know, more on the level of, like, talking to

565
00:34:10,824 --> 00:34:14,599
people and making friends. Yeah. You got the awkwardness out. Yeah. It wasn't

566
00:34:14,599 --> 00:34:18,199
just about games. Like, the meetup was kinda just about games, but then when they

567
00:34:18,199 --> 00:34:21,239
invited me to the other person's house to play, it was more just like about

568
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:25,054
Yeah. Friends getting together. And then, you know, you start

569
00:34:25,835 --> 00:34:28,955
just making friends. It just kinda comes naturally if you can put yourself in the

570
00:34:28,955 --> 00:34:32,429
right place. So, we do have a 3rd

571
00:34:32,429 --> 00:34:35,389
episode coming up, and we're going to talk a bit a little bit about you're

572
00:34:35,389 --> 00:34:39,170
going to meet Lola. What can what what got you in her group?

573
00:34:39,705 --> 00:34:42,824
Because she has a good group. It's, it's a mom's group. And,

574
00:34:43,385 --> 00:34:46,985
sometimes joining groups on Facebook is a good way to help you get out there

575
00:34:46,985 --> 00:34:50,790
to your, again, finding like minded people. No. Joining a mom's group is

576
00:34:50,790 --> 00:34:54,630
just trying to find, like, other people that you can get advice from

577
00:34:54,630 --> 00:34:58,230
or Okay. Just kinda run things by, see other mom's

578
00:34:58,230 --> 00:35:02,055
humor and something that that you may be struggling in and find some humor

579
00:35:02,055 --> 00:35:05,495
in and giggle over that over Yeah. Social media. But,

580
00:35:07,220 --> 00:35:10,660
I don't know. I only have so Courtney and I have known each other since

581
00:35:10,660 --> 00:35:13,880
high school. So we've been friends for, like, what is that? Like,

582
00:35:14,420 --> 00:35:17,915
10 years, 12 years, 12 years? Been on friends for a long

583
00:35:17,915 --> 00:35:21,675
time and we're still pretty close knit with a lot of the girls that we

584
00:35:21,675 --> 00:35:25,355
were in ROTC with. We still get together all the time. All of us were

585
00:35:25,355 --> 00:35:29,100
in Courtney's wedding, like and we're about to be in another one of their weddings

586
00:35:29,100 --> 00:35:32,700
actually this year. But, like, just

587
00:35:32,700 --> 00:35:36,335
making new friends, like, we don't live close. So for any of us to get

588
00:35:36,335 --> 00:35:39,555
together, like, it's gotta be a plan. It's gotta be well thought out.

589
00:35:40,015 --> 00:35:43,790
And so now I live out in the sticks and gotta make friends

590
00:35:43,790 --> 00:35:47,470
somehow. And I just I'm very socially awkward. I don't

591
00:35:47,470 --> 00:35:51,230
enjoy going out. I especially don't enjoy going out by myself. I get really stressed

592
00:35:51,230 --> 00:35:55,005
and I just it's not for me. And I'm noticing I'm in

593
00:35:55,005 --> 00:35:58,545
this this women of Alana's group and

594
00:35:59,165 --> 00:36:02,609
it actually it's interesting to me that

595
00:36:02,670 --> 00:36:06,510
people who live in the city in my mind are people who are social anyways

596
00:36:06,510 --> 00:36:09,985
and like to get out anyways. And people who

597
00:36:09,985 --> 00:36:13,185
live out where I live, they typically are the people who are more kept to

598
00:36:13,185 --> 00:36:16,705
themselves, but they still have their close knit friends. But people who live in the

599
00:36:16,705 --> 00:36:20,369
city that are in this group are all the time posting

600
00:36:20,369 --> 00:36:23,730
about, I don't have any friends. I'd like to meet new people. I'd like to

601
00:36:23,730 --> 00:36:27,395
meet new friends. And they're posting like dating ad descriptions of

602
00:36:27,395 --> 00:36:31,154
themselves saying, looking for a friend who's x y z. I'm this

603
00:36:31,154 --> 00:36:34,994
age. I enjoy doing this. Crusty. Yeah. I have a dog that's this age.

604
00:36:35,244 --> 00:36:39,030
Connection stuff in the newspaper. Yeah. I mean, people are doing this

605
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:41,510
in the groups, like trying to find new friends. And I just find it really

606
00:36:41,510 --> 00:36:45,085
interesting that everyone seems to struggle. I mean, I

607
00:36:45,085 --> 00:36:48,924
say everyone, but not everyone. But a lot of us do struggle. I think

608
00:36:48,924 --> 00:36:52,630
it's more prevalent than we might realize when you think about it. Well,

609
00:36:52,630 --> 00:36:55,750
like, you think you're the only one in it. Right? Yeah. And it's probably a

610
00:36:55,750 --> 00:36:58,230
lot more prevalent than we realize. I guess because I see it a lot. I

611
00:36:58,230 --> 00:37:01,714
just kind of assume that that was that was everyone's normal, like hard to make

612
00:37:01,714 --> 00:37:05,095
friends, but I'm also just significantly less social than

613
00:37:05,954 --> 00:37:09,370
than people I do hang out with. But then I was reading

614
00:37:09,370 --> 00:37:13,050
like so I got really curious about, like, I struggle with this. So many people

615
00:37:13,050 --> 00:37:16,635
are struggling with it. You know, there's even dating

616
00:37:16,635 --> 00:37:20,395
apps that have a side app for finding friends. Like,

617
00:37:20,395 --> 00:37:23,860
there's like a friend bubble, Bumble. That's cool. Yeah. So it's really

618
00:37:23,860 --> 00:37:27,700
interesting. So I started reading about, like, man, it's hard

619
00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:31,244
making friends in thirties. Why would this be? And

620
00:37:31,244 --> 00:37:34,845
so I found this article and it's talking about how, you know, like, when you're

621
00:37:34,845 --> 00:37:38,525
in your high school and your college years, you're around a

622
00:37:38,525 --> 00:37:42,190
constantly revolving door of people. Mhmm. People moving

623
00:37:42,190 --> 00:37:45,550
in, moving out. You're seeing these new people every single

624
00:37:45,550 --> 00:37:48,875
day, and socializing is what is what you're doing.

625
00:37:49,015 --> 00:37:52,375
Interesting. You're, you know, going to school together and, you

626
00:37:52,375 --> 00:37:55,780
know, talking and, you know, most people go to work and they have jobs and

627
00:37:55,780 --> 00:37:59,380
they're doing the same thing. They're going, they're meeting friends and they're they're socializing a

628
00:37:59,380 --> 00:38:02,180
little bit here and there. But now we're adults and at the end of the

629
00:38:02,180 --> 00:38:06,025
day, we're just too exhausted. Yeah. Usually, your work friends stay your work friends.

630
00:38:06,025 --> 00:38:08,905
You don't really go out with them. Like, you you wanna go home to your

631
00:38:08,905 --> 00:38:12,330
families. You wanna go home to your dogs. You wanna unwind

632
00:38:12,470 --> 00:38:15,510
before you have to do it all again. And so now there's, like, this added

633
00:38:15,510 --> 00:38:18,730
exhaustion and just lack of desire. And on top of that,

634
00:38:19,075 --> 00:38:22,675
there's a sky rise in anxiety these days and social

635
00:38:22,675 --> 00:38:26,275
anxiety and that and that's really holding us back because I'm sure we can all

636
00:38:26,275 --> 00:38:29,849
come up with a a story or have a story where we were

637
00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:33,069
embarrassed in a social group or where, you know,

638
00:38:34,585 --> 00:38:38,285
it just sometimes doesn't feel worth worth it putting yourself out there.

639
00:38:39,065 --> 00:38:42,740
Yeah. It can sometimes feel like, why did I

640
00:38:42,740 --> 00:38:46,579
even try? Yes. I yes.

641
00:38:46,579 --> 00:38:50,425
I there are there are girls who, like, who want to make friends and

642
00:38:50,425 --> 00:38:54,185
genuinely wanna make friends. And so then they, like, go and they meet someone

643
00:38:54,185 --> 00:38:57,545
online or they meet someone at work, and they're like, okay. We're driving. We're driving.

644
00:38:57,545 --> 00:39:01,390
Alright. I'm gonna start trusting them. And then, like, they start sharing their

645
00:39:01,390 --> 00:39:05,150
close knit things with them. And then that's interesting. Bring that up. Them in the

646
00:39:05,150 --> 00:39:08,975
back. Percent that happened. Courtney talking about this. Like, yes.

647
00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:12,275
To me too. It's very

648
00:39:12,415 --> 00:39:16,210
strange. Now granted, both of the people that I

649
00:39:16,290 --> 00:39:19,650
fill in my in my memory when I say that happened to me, they have

650
00:39:19,650 --> 00:39:23,410
since reached out and either apologize actually, there's Oh my god.

651
00:39:23,410 --> 00:39:27,116
They have since reached out and apologized and Dude, that's like

652
00:39:27,116 --> 00:39:30,698
unheard of. Yeah. I don't know. I guess I

653
00:39:30,698 --> 00:39:33,470
am lucky. Here's the thing. It's really

654
00:39:34,250 --> 00:39:37,850
easy to either just trust and give everything you

655
00:39:37,850 --> 00:39:41,685
have to something or maybe hold back everything. And it's

656
00:39:41,685 --> 00:39:45,205
like, where's that happy medium where you can be like, hey, I'm gonna give just

657
00:39:45,205 --> 00:39:48,725
enough that I can foster a friendship without actually giving

658
00:39:48,725 --> 00:39:52,470
enough to if it doesn't work out where I feel

659
00:39:52,470 --> 00:39:56,150
like just crushed and ruined. Right? Yeah. So I think

660
00:39:56,150 --> 00:39:59,904
sometimes just remembering look at things

661
00:39:59,904 --> 00:40:03,505
objectively because I sometimes have this thing where I just

662
00:40:03,505 --> 00:40:06,385
trust. I wanted to trust people. I'm not so much that way anymore. Over the

663
00:40:06,385 --> 00:40:09,580
years, I feel like I've kind of learned how to start just saying,

664
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,400
let's just not share at all. Let's just, you know, let's just see see how

665
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,735
it goes. Yeah. I don't know. And I don't mean to say that we should

666
00:40:18,735 --> 00:40:22,575
all hold ourselves back. I I want to create like, I want us to

667
00:40:22,575 --> 00:40:25,960
create a community where we don't have to do that. And I hope that that

668
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,740
it works. I hope that too. You know, that people want

669
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,885
to share their struggles. And the point is that there's

670
00:40:33,885 --> 00:40:37,724
someone else in that in our group that's also been through the same thing or

671
00:40:37,724 --> 00:40:41,405
similar thing and can relate. Be judged for mistakes because we're not

672
00:40:41,405 --> 00:40:45,039
perfect. But, yeah,

673
00:40:45,339 --> 00:40:49,180
I do think that I did go through a lot of

674
00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:52,755
friends in my twenties that aren't necessarily in my life

675
00:40:52,755 --> 00:40:56,295
today. Now, actually, I have a couple. Connie Emmett, love you.

676
00:40:58,675 --> 00:41:02,270
Name drop. I can't help it. I just love some of these people so much,

677
00:41:02,510 --> 00:41:06,109
and I don't talk to them every day, but they play

678
00:41:06,109 --> 00:41:09,410
significant roles in my life, and I will never forget them for some of

679
00:41:09,775 --> 00:41:13,615
the things that they were there for me through. But I guess what I'm

680
00:41:13,615 --> 00:41:17,455
saying is back to my twenties, I did go through a lot of friends that

681
00:41:17,455 --> 00:41:21,280
I think I just thought, oh, immediately we're going to be

682
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:25,040
friends forever. And it's not always like that. Sometimes people oh, sometimes

683
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,855
people in your life just for a season. Mhmm. I heard that recently.

684
00:41:30,995 --> 00:41:34,615
Sometimes you're not meant to be friends with someone forever. That. Exactly.

685
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,720
Yeah. I feel like you attract. Like, you must attract because, like, you're such

686
00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:43,515
a positive, like, bright person

687
00:41:43,515 --> 00:41:47,275
and personality and help everyone that, like, you must attract these people that also

688
00:41:47,275 --> 00:41:48,815
have these dot like, deep,

689
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:54,440
confined meaning, like Aw. What what is the word I'm trying to

690
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:58,700
you. So I look at you. I think that was technically our husbands. Like,

691
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,745
I don't know how to live. We went our paths wouldn't

692
00:42:02,745 --> 00:42:06,525
have crossed True. If our husbands wouldn't have gotten

693
00:42:07,100 --> 00:42:10,880
or if our husbands wouldn't have gotten married. Sometimes

694
00:42:11,020 --> 00:42:13,740
I wonder if they should have been the ones. No. Just kidding. They do have

695
00:42:13,740 --> 00:42:14,960
a pretty nice bromance

696
00:42:26,470 --> 00:42:29,910
fostering a friendship. Right? Yeah. Like and I don't do that with everybody. I feel

697
00:42:29,910 --> 00:42:32,789
like I don't have the time, and sometimes I feel like this is gonna sound

698
00:42:32,789 --> 00:42:35,805
a little mean, but it's not meant to be. Sometimes I feel like I'm so

699
00:42:35,805 --> 00:42:38,065
tired. I don't want any more friends.

700
00:42:40,685 --> 00:42:44,170
So the fact that we are fostering a relationship is big. Like, yes, you're right.

701
00:42:44,170 --> 00:42:46,890
I I am very selective about who I wanna keep in my life because I

702
00:42:46,890 --> 00:42:50,250
have had some situations in the past where Yeah. Those are off. We've all I

703
00:42:50,250 --> 00:42:53,995
think may maybe we've all had those. I don't know. I

704
00:42:53,995 --> 00:42:57,295
guess I am kind of introspective, so maybe I've overanalyzed my life.

705
00:42:59,515 --> 00:43:03,119
As we all do at some point in different aspects, but

706
00:43:04,140 --> 00:43:07,200
I don't know. That's a very different I don't know. We had opposite,

707
00:43:08,140 --> 00:43:11,935
experiences, I feel like. Yeah. For sure. For sure. So it's nice

708
00:43:11,935 --> 00:43:15,455
to hear, the side where you

709
00:43:15,455 --> 00:43:19,215
get to be selective and you get to to the point where

710
00:43:19,215 --> 00:43:22,750
it's like, okay. People don't like me so much. Just go wait.

711
00:43:22,750 --> 00:43:26,590
This sounded so bad. I didn't mean it like that, but just

712
00:43:26,590 --> 00:43:30,395
go wait. I mean, I'm like that too, Even though, like, you know, sometimes

713
00:43:30,395 --> 00:43:33,675
I'll be sitting at home by myself. I'm like, it might be nice to go

714
00:43:33,675 --> 00:43:37,035
have coffee with someone. Like, I'm tired of sitting here. It's been 7 days. But

715
00:43:37,035 --> 00:43:40,690
this not my last friend that I let into my life, but one of

716
00:43:40,690 --> 00:43:44,450
my very close friends. Her name is Pyle. She

717
00:43:44,450 --> 00:43:45,990
had to fight to be

718
00:43:48,454 --> 00:43:52,135
I'm not lying. I and it's not because I'm amazing. It's not what I

719
00:43:52,135 --> 00:43:55,850
mean either. It's because I was closed off, and I really thought I

720
00:43:55,850 --> 00:43:59,530
just didn't have the emotional energy to have a friend. That's fair.

721
00:43:59,690 --> 00:44:03,234
Life. Yeah. You should be able to feel like that.

722
00:44:03,375 --> 00:44:07,055
Yeah. And she was like, we will hang out, and we will. And so I'm

723
00:44:07,055 --> 00:44:09,695
like, fine. And so we hung out, and then I even was like I even

724
00:44:09,695 --> 00:44:11,820
tried to kinda break up with her. I was like, I think you're too young

725
00:44:11,820 --> 00:44:15,500
for me. She's gonna die laughing when she hears

726
00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:19,260
this. You did not. I, for real, did. Oh my god. It's not you.

727
00:44:19,260 --> 00:44:23,085
It's me. You're too young for me, bra. And then she said, how

728
00:44:23,085 --> 00:44:25,885
old do you fucking think I am? And I was like, I think you're, like,

729
00:44:25,885 --> 00:44:29,490
23. And she was, like, 29 or 30. I don't remember. But,

730
00:44:29,810 --> 00:44:33,330
I was like, okay. I can't use that. No. Just

731
00:44:33,330 --> 00:44:36,765
kidding. The truth is, like, once I let her in and

732
00:44:36,765 --> 00:44:40,605
sometimes, yeah, we think we can step back and be selective, and I think that's

733
00:44:40,605 --> 00:44:43,965
a good thing. But sometimes it's also good to remember, we don't always know what's

734
00:44:43,965 --> 00:44:47,789
best for ourselves. Nice. And she has been amazing in my

735
00:44:47,789 --> 00:44:51,010
life. Aw. Yeah. I'm so glad that she persisted,

736
00:44:52,405 --> 00:44:56,245
My dumbass. You pushed me to hang out

737
00:44:56,245 --> 00:44:59,030
with you. Did I? And not because I didn't want to. It's just because I'm,

738
00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:02,869
like, Tell me when? I don't know. She's not gonna like me.

739
00:45:03,164 --> 00:45:07,003
I think I felt like you wouldn't like me because you're young

740
00:45:07,003 --> 00:45:10,315
and cool and gorgeous and hip and I'm gonna shut up.

741
00:45:11,174 --> 00:45:14,714
Y'all came over for a dinner date because we haven't seen each other in

742
00:45:15,095 --> 00:45:18,239
probably a year at that point. It'd been a while. Yeah. No. Like, we used

743
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:21,680
to not see each other that often. And And remember Simon and Brett are best

744
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:25,440
friends. Are best friends even though Brett will silent him for a while. He

745
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:29,155
will silent me if he has the chance. And so

746
00:45:29,155 --> 00:45:32,675
Simon goes, no. Brett is coming over and I'm gonna try to like

747
00:45:32,675 --> 00:45:36,520
Melissa and we're having dinner. He said I'm gonna

748
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:40,060
try. Okay. He probably didn't say that to me. By then. He probably did.

749
00:45:40,359 --> 00:45:44,055
Oh, yeah. You did come to our wedding. So, you know, bridges have been crossed

750
00:45:44,055 --> 00:45:47,815
at that point. So I remember I was getting, like, really down because I'm a

751
00:45:47,815 --> 00:45:50,694
stay at home mom and it just didn't feel like it was for me and

752
00:45:50,694 --> 00:45:54,240
postpartum depression. And and I was like, Melissa said she wanted to meet the

753
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:57,680
baby. And I was like and she said she wanted to get

754
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:01,155
together sometime. So I didn't think you would call

755
00:46:01,155 --> 00:46:04,835
me. And so then I was like, okay. Well, I'll I'll see if

756
00:46:04,835 --> 00:46:07,910
Melissa wants to get together. You put yourself out there. I did. I did. And

757
00:46:07,910 --> 00:46:10,710
it was very awkward for me, and I might have cried the night before. I

758
00:46:10,710 --> 00:46:13,350
was like, Simon, what if she doesn't like me? Like, what if she doesn't show

759
00:46:13,350 --> 00:46:16,444
up? What if I get, what's it called? When someone doesn't show up to a

760
00:46:16,444 --> 00:46:20,285
blind date? Stood up. Stood up. That happened

761
00:46:20,285 --> 00:46:24,080
to me before. Oh, no. Oh. By, like, a man or by a friend? Man.

762
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:27,760
Oh, I was 17. Oh, okay.

763
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,480
Okay. If we're going back that far, I sure have too. By the same man

764
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:34,095
twice. Okay. It's it's true. Sometimes we don't know what we

765
00:46:34,095 --> 00:46:37,635
need, like my me with pile. Oh, I know what I need. I just Okay.

766
00:46:38,015 --> 00:46:41,609
Were we just Not willing to do. Against it? Okay. Okay.

767
00:46:41,670 --> 00:46:45,349
Fair enough. Oh, man. Well, I mean, I

768
00:46:45,349 --> 00:46:49,085
guess so that I mean, in my case, it doesn't

769
00:46:49,085 --> 00:46:52,925
help my case because, obviously, I'm just not quite willing to do the work, though

770
00:46:52,925 --> 00:46:56,240
I'm at that point. I am at the point where it's it's really just you

771
00:46:56,240 --> 00:46:59,920
and Courtney. I and this is where the seizures have really been frustrating

772
00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:03,680
because I'm at this point where it's like, I want to go out and do

773
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:07,505
hobbies and meet friends and and see where it goes.

774
00:47:07,645 --> 00:47:11,485
And now I can't take myself anywhere and make those friends. But when I

775
00:47:11,485 --> 00:47:15,300
was doing, you know, my handy dandy Google searches, it was suggesting that ways

776
00:47:15,300 --> 00:47:18,820
to make friends when, you know, after school and when you're in your

777
00:47:18,820 --> 00:47:22,120
thirties and you find that you're ready for a new

778
00:47:22,474 --> 00:47:25,915
cycle of friends, then, like, you know, here's some things that you can do to

779
00:47:25,915 --> 00:47:28,795
meet them. And, of course, we talked about the apps. We talked about the social

780
00:47:28,795 --> 00:47:32,510
media groups and stuff. But like Melissa said, it also suggested

781
00:47:32,730 --> 00:47:36,490
finding a hobby, getting into that. My, favorite one that I was really

782
00:47:36,490 --> 00:47:40,295
laughing at was go and meet your neighbors. Oh, interesting. Like, am I gonna

783
00:47:40,295 --> 00:47:42,875
ask for a cup of sugar? Oh my god.

784
00:47:43,654 --> 00:47:47,255
Like, I don't You know, I feel like we don't know our neighbors anymore. I

785
00:47:47,255 --> 00:47:50,680
don't know. I thought that, you know, I thought that I would have all the

786
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,720
friends in this neighborhood when we first moved here. I was like, oh, I might

787
00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:56,280
actually, like, have some mom friends in the neighborhood, and we can, like, have wine

788
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,735
nights and stuff. And it might be really fun, and then they I don't think

789
00:47:58,735 --> 00:48:02,575
they like me. I feel like that one's a little tricky because you're not curating

790
00:48:02,575 --> 00:48:05,395
your own group. You're just kind of, like, sticking with what's not around you.

791
00:48:06,060 --> 00:48:09,900
But you never know. Oh, it's a whole new guy. We host it out

792
00:48:09,900 --> 00:48:13,234
of our own money in pocket. A whole neighborhood get together and had, like, blow

793
00:48:13,234 --> 00:48:16,675
ups for the kids so that, like, the families could come over. Like, we provided

794
00:48:16,675 --> 00:48:20,055
food. We had we paid for, like, a blow up slide and pool and,

795
00:48:20,910 --> 00:48:24,110
not not too many people came over. We we did enjoy everyone who did come

796
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:27,170
over for the meet and greet and, everyone who brought their kids and,

797
00:48:27,710 --> 00:48:31,115
yeah, no one really kept up. And I mean, the kids play with

798
00:48:31,115 --> 00:48:34,235
our closest tried. We did try. I did try.

799
00:48:34,955 --> 00:48:38,470
And then our closest neighbor has kids that are the same exact age as all

800
00:48:38,470 --> 00:48:42,150
of our kids. And I had high hopes that that would be my

801
00:48:42,150 --> 00:48:43,770
wine buddy too, but,

802
00:48:46,065 --> 00:48:49,905
no, not there yet. Do you think you want to keep

803
00:48:49,905 --> 00:48:53,585
pursuing that one? I think they don't like me. Oh, but wait. You

804
00:48:53,585 --> 00:48:57,280
thought that I I know. I I yes. I think our lifestyles

805
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:00,660
are vastly different. I'm gonna give a challenge for the week. No.

806
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,745
Okay. She said no. I was gonna be like, invite her over

807
00:49:04,745 --> 00:49:08,525
for a glass one. Go out of your comfort zone. I don't know.

808
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:14,360
Well, we're telling you what you can do. I got a fun story on why

809
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:17,945
I'm saying no. Okay. To oh, are you allowed to share it? Yes. Just know

810
00:49:17,945 --> 00:49:20,745
it. It was it was like a big fail. It was like a big parenting

811
00:49:20,745 --> 00:49:24,505
fail that, like, I was so upset and cried, like, for hours over because

812
00:49:24,505 --> 00:49:28,090
I'm so upset. So thing 3 hadn't napped

813
00:49:29,109 --> 00:49:32,230
at all that day. And so it's getting to the late late evening and then

814
00:49:32,230 --> 00:49:35,894
she just crashes and, like, fell asleep on on Simon's

815
00:49:35,894 --> 00:49:39,734
chest, you know, fully dressed, shoes and everything. And we, like, pick

816
00:49:39,734 --> 00:49:42,480
her up because we're like, oh, we should probably wake her, but she stays asleep.

817
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:46,420
And we're, like, oh, man. This is an opportunity. We can get some quiet time.

818
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:50,480
So the older thing 1 and thing 2 are at the

819
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:54,275
neighbor's house playing, And so we just quietly go and we lay

820
00:49:54,275 --> 00:49:58,115
thing 3 in her bed, and then we tiptoe on over to the hot

821
00:49:58,115 --> 00:50:01,860
tub. We have not left the house. Thing 2 comes home from the neighbors

822
00:50:01,860 --> 00:50:05,620
and apparently, thing 3 had woken up. And so

823
00:50:05,620 --> 00:50:09,035
when thing 2 comes home, she hears thing 3 crying,

824
00:50:09,175 --> 00:50:12,395
and they're very tight. They are very close. And

825
00:50:12,694 --> 00:50:16,474
she she doesn't look for us. She doesn't look anywhere for us.

826
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:19,200
She comes in the house Maybe or you she didn't even look in the house

827
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:22,320
because you're in the hot tub? She was in the house, and I remember I

828
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,765
had my I had my German shepherd, Ada, with me outside while we were in

829
00:50:25,765 --> 00:50:29,205
the hot tub. And I remember she, she told

830
00:50:29,205 --> 00:50:32,965
me that someone was home in the house since I I looked at Simon.

831
00:50:32,965 --> 00:50:36,630
I said, oh, thing 3 is home. And then I'm waiting and I'm

832
00:50:36,630 --> 00:50:40,310
waiting and I'm waiting, and she never comes out. And so then I start

833
00:50:40,310 --> 00:50:44,010
getting antsy, and I'm like, Simon, can you check your phone, please?

834
00:50:44,224 --> 00:50:47,744
And he goes, okay. And I grab his phone. I give it to him, and

835
00:50:47,744 --> 00:50:51,560
there's, like, missed missed text, missed calls from the neighbor. Thing

836
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:55,180
2 thought that we left the house

837
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:59,080
without the baby, took the baby out of her

838
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:02,505
crib, and took her to the neighbor's house and said that we left them.

839
00:51:02,565 --> 00:51:06,245
Oh, no. And so and so I was

840
00:51:06,245 --> 00:51:09,545
so embarrassed. And this happened not once, twice.

841
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,200
Not twice with the baby though, but twice she

842
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:17,965
went over to their house crying, coming back to their house saying that we left

843
00:51:17,965 --> 00:51:21,565
them. And the second time was just because the garage door was shut. She didn't

844
00:51:21,565 --> 00:51:25,245
even come in the house that time. Oh, no. But it's I was so

845
00:51:25,245 --> 00:51:28,786
embarrassed. Okay. I was like, no. Your neighbor know

846
00:51:28,786 --> 00:51:32,452
how upset it made you and how embarrassed? Well, one

847
00:51:32,452 --> 00:51:36,285
time she did come over, because there is, like, an incident with the

848
00:51:36,285 --> 00:51:40,045
neighborhood and, utilities being crossed and stuff.

849
00:51:40,045 --> 00:51:43,370
And she came over to ask a question. I was like, okay. Real awkward, but

850
00:51:43,450 --> 00:51:46,970
you are aware we never leave the house without our child. And she goes, yes.

851
00:51:46,970 --> 00:51:50,510
I figured. And I was like, okay. Okay. Okay.

852
00:51:50,650 --> 00:51:53,565
Just making sure. Okay. Well,

853
00:51:54,505 --> 00:51:58,265
my takeaway is you are completely entitled to not want

854
00:51:58,265 --> 00:52:01,830
her to be your wine buddy anymore. No. But I feel like if you

855
00:52:01,830 --> 00:52:05,510
did want to offered, I would for sure do it. I feel like

856
00:52:05,510 --> 00:52:09,125
maybe you're projecting a little on how much she doesn't like you. Maybe she

857
00:52:09,925 --> 00:52:11,385
does. Okay. But maybe you're projecting.

858
00:52:14,165 --> 00:52:17,950
I'm projecting. I think she could be projecting just a little, but

859
00:52:17,950 --> 00:52:21,550
I might be wrong. Maybe she hates you. That's what I

860
00:52:21,550 --> 00:52:25,310
thought. Oh, that's what I thought. I guess

861
00:52:25,310 --> 00:52:29,145
I'm just saying, sometimes we get in our head. Is that

862
00:52:29,145 --> 00:52:32,985
a sign? Yeah. I told

863
00:52:32,985 --> 00:52:36,660
you. That's also why I won't go over and ask for a question. Times. No.

864
00:52:36,660 --> 00:52:39,320
It might actually just be a sign that you don't want to be her friend.

865
00:52:39,700 --> 00:52:43,460
Not to be mean, but growing up, my parents had a lot of restrictions about

866
00:52:43,460 --> 00:52:46,200
who we were and weren't allowed to play with. But it's because my parents

867
00:52:47,445 --> 00:52:51,205
were a little too extra. Too strict. Mhmm. Yeah. I

868
00:52:51,205 --> 00:52:54,890
mean, but in this day and time, though, you do have to be very worrisome

869
00:52:54,890 --> 00:52:58,510
about you don't really know the parents that your kids are going out to play

870
00:52:58,650 --> 00:53:01,130
with. You really don't. She could easily get to know you. You're her next door

871
00:53:01,130 --> 00:53:04,535
neighbor. That is true. In conclusion, are we concluding

872
00:53:04,535 --> 00:53:07,994
yet? If you are struggling Yeah. To make friends,

873
00:53:09,255 --> 00:53:12,900
there are ways to do it, and you should you should go

874
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,920
and join a hobby. I really wanna join a hobby. I wanna go to a

875
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:19,684
paint class and I wanna learn different mediums of art. That would be a lot

876
00:53:19,684 --> 00:53:23,125
of fun. I wanna do dancing. I wanna go to dance classes. Maybe I used

877
00:53:23,125 --> 00:53:26,970
to love line dancing. Going to line dancing again would be really fun,

878
00:53:26,970 --> 00:53:29,870
and that's a really fun way to meet friends. Yeah. Yeah.

879
00:53:30,410 --> 00:53:34,194
So leave comments. Tell us tell

880
00:53:34,194 --> 00:53:37,875
us kind of your experiences. What are you guys going through? Are you are you

881
00:53:37,875 --> 00:53:41,714
feel like your friend meter is full? Are you feeling like you wanna meet

882
00:53:41,714 --> 00:53:45,220
more people, but you don't know how to great. Word it. Is your friend

883
00:53:45,220 --> 00:53:48,580
meter full, or is it running low? Thank you. It's like a love

884
00:53:48,580 --> 00:53:51,960
tank. Oh, I like that too. That's really cool.

885
00:53:52,545 --> 00:53:56,145
So, yeah, just, like, because I really do want this. Like, I

886
00:53:56,225 --> 00:53:59,905
we say it every episode, but I'm very serious. This is a

887
00:53:59,905 --> 00:54:03,530
community that we're trying to build of nonjudgment and love

888
00:54:03,530 --> 00:54:07,130
and support. And maybe, you can be our

889
00:54:07,130 --> 00:54:10,730
friend. That if you want to be, we would love

890
00:54:10,730 --> 00:54:14,395
it. But, also, maybe, like, you'll meet somebody in our little community. You can be

891
00:54:14,395 --> 00:54:17,934
my friend because Melissa's meter is full. My meter is really full.

892
00:54:19,035 --> 00:54:22,860
I'll be your friend. It would make me feel

893
00:54:22,860 --> 00:54:26,140
good like we did something today. It would make me feel very happy. See you

894
00:54:26,140 --> 00:54:29,888
guys on social media talking to each other and

895
00:54:29,941 --> 00:54:33,475
Yes. Maybe even, like, getting together. Being vulnerable and Yeah.

896
00:54:33,595 --> 00:54:37,330
People being kind in return. That it takes nothing to be kind.

897
00:54:37,570 --> 00:54:39,750
Nothing. Nothing. And so,

898
00:54:41,410 --> 00:54:45,035
next time on our next show, we will be having, Lola,

899
00:54:45,035 --> 00:54:48,255
and she is the creator of a group called Not Your Momma's Group.

900
00:54:48,474 --> 00:54:51,915
And she has cultivated this group for

901
00:54:51,915 --> 00:54:55,720
moms where there is a no tolerance policy for

902
00:54:55,720 --> 00:54:59,560
rudeness. Won't you get blocked if you are

903
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:03,035
rude to somebody who post a question like that? Yes. That's what I want.

904
00:55:03,195 --> 00:55:06,555
Anything nice to say. You're a lot of post controversial things, but Yes. Yes. Did

905
00:55:06,555 --> 00:55:10,349
I say that wrong? Yeah. Oh, yes. Oh, I I had another thought,

906
00:55:10,349 --> 00:55:13,170
but I wanted to add it in somewhere. I want it. I think that

907
00:55:13,950 --> 00:55:17,755
if y'all are interested, I think that if if there's enough of

908
00:55:17,755 --> 00:55:21,355
us that are local, I think we could have our own hangout. Oh, that's such

909
00:55:21,355 --> 00:55:25,035
a good idea. We could. Brunch. A brunch link up. Brunch

910
00:55:25,035 --> 00:55:28,780
up? A brunch up. We just made up a new

911
00:55:28,780 --> 00:55:32,300
thing. A brunch up, girls. Yes. I

912
00:55:32,300 --> 00:55:36,065
think join our page, like our page. Let's see if

913
00:55:36,065 --> 00:55:38,945
there's a bunch of us that are local, and let's have a brunch up. That'd

914
00:55:38,945 --> 00:55:42,600
be fun. Well, join us next time to meet

915
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:46,440
Lola, and, we will continue to post for your Monday

916
00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:50,155
mornings at 5 AM, and we look forward to meeting you. We do.

917
00:55:50,395 --> 00:55:54,235
Join us again next time. Peace for peace and love. Peace

918
00:55:54,235 --> 00:55:58,047
and love. Okay. Connect with us

919
00:55:58,047 --> 00:56:01,027
on Facebook or Instagram to stay up to date on future episodes.