Oh, my God, it's.

That is a sexy Friday night, right?

A container store is sexy and I think salt and pepper is sexy.

Right.

I mean, I'm telling my age, right?

You're probably people being overserved maybe, right?

That is, That's a big thing that happens, right?

That's a big one.

That's true.

I love that you brought that up because I think, as you know, sometimes we can become so self conscious about it.

You know, we tell ourselves all these things, I'm not good at this or my house isn't perfect, or I'm not ready to do this.

And it's really about letting go of all of that and not being so hard on ourselves.

Would you agree?

Paint your front door a color.

That's what I would do.

Like, let people know.

And that's what I really want to do here on the iconic Midlife.

I want people to be open about this because nobody ever gave us a handbook about midlife and like all the changes in our bodies and you know, men are not going through the same things that we're going through.

So it's.

It's hard.

I can't really talk to my husband about that.

But I think that if you just get it into something you understand and comprehend and things that you use and get rid of the rest, the dust collectors, you're going to feel great and you're going to be more organized than you think.

Okay, midlife icons, if your idea of hosting a party is panic, washing dishes and hiding the chaos in a laundry basket, then this episode is for you.

Today I'm joined by the fabulous Laura Peterson, entertaining expert, lifestyle genius, genius, and the woman who can even turn a chaotic Tuesday into a champagne moment.

We're talking stress free hosting, creating spaces that feel like you, and why Midlife is the perfect time to ditch perfection and throw parties that are full of soul, not just centerpieces.

And don't forget, follow the iconic midlife on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows.

And catch the full episode on YouTube tomorrow.

Oh, and follow us on social media, heconicmidlife.

And you can also follow me redcarpetroxy for more unapologetic midlife goodness.

So grab your mocktail cocktail or whatever helps you survive guests, and let's get into it.

Welcome to the iconic Midlife Laura.

All about it.

Look at your shoes.

Oh, my gosh.

Thank you.

How lucky is your husband you're still wearing shoes like that.

I mean, you know the only reason why wear these, they're actually comfortable There is, like, padding in there.

You have good shoes, too.

So much.

Oh, my gosh.

You're very model feet.

Oh, my gosh.

No, not even.

Look at yours.

You're like bunion.

Little tiny feet.

Oh, my gosh.

My feet were not that size in fifth grade.

They were bigger than that in fifth grade.

I love it.

But look, you get all that great height, like, which I'm so jealous of because everything looks like a clothes.

Like a clothes hanger on you.

Oh, my gosh.

You can wear anything.

Anything.

Yet I have no clothes.

Which sweater today, China?

The blue one or the purple one?

You're not here for the fashion I love.

That's a different.

That's a different influencer.

Not at all.

Oh, my gosh.

No, you look great.

And I love that.

When you walked in, we were immediately.

It was like girlfriends, you know, just.

Yes.

Totally hitting it off.

We have so many things in common.

We've got kids, dogs, and husbands, which are like big babies that have just are tall, you know?

Kid number four.

Kid number four.

Well, in my case, Scooter's a little shorter than me, which is fine.

Which is so funny because I don't see him like that.

But people often mention that they're like, how tall are you?

Because, I mean, they're assuming Scooter's like six six one, and I'm six four.

Right.

They're envisioning the alien from, you know, Sigourney Weaver and the alien.

Because they're like, well, you're really big.

It's like, oh, no, you've got the height.

Like.

I'm actually very jealous because clothes look amazing on you, you know?

Absolutely.

Can I just have some of your.

Like, give me some of your legs.

Yes.

I think this is.

This is it for me.

The 5 10, which I know sounds aspirational.

It's really not.

Because when you're shopping for clothes, I just.

That's why you're not here for the fashion.

Because it's not easy.

It's just.

It's not.

I know that sounds crazy.

The world was not made for my feet size, my foot size, or my, you know, my height, so.

But grateful for it.

It's like, I'll take it.

Too tall to be a Rockette, I think.

Are the Rockettes five, eight and a half or something?

Actually, I think you could be a Rockette.

Yeah.

I did make the cutoff for a flight attendant, so that was good.

Oh, good.

Because I wasn't too tall to be a flight attendant.

But the Rockettes, I think I'm a think I'm a no go on that.

Oh, my gosh, that's so funny.

Well, you know, I've been like deep diving on your Instagram.

I'm obsessed by the way.

Guys, you need to follow her at Laura Fied.

It's so good.

I was like going through all of your hacks.

Like you've got a hack for everything from travel to entertaining to lifestyle.

So what do you.

Where do you get all your inspiration from?

1, the baby of nine.

My mom was the baby of 10.

So I think there's just a lot of generational.

When you're in that position in a family, there's a lot of watching the rest of life happens.

So she had the position to watch her mom raise all those kids.

She brings that to the mix.

I watch my mom spinning all the plates, doing all the things.

Career woman, all these kids, husband, da, da, da, da.

And so.

And then bring it into the modern world where raising kids, I think is a little bit more difficult.

With all the pulls at them these days, it just wasn't possible to make it happen.

It's like you have to hack it some way to.

You can't do everything grandiose.

You gotta dial it down to simplicity.

How do we still feed these guys?

How do we get laundry done?

How do we get this done and still have time for ourselves?

But not doing a great job at that.

I'm gonna be honest.

I'll be the first to admit it.

Something is not getting my attention.

Right.

If you see me excelling at something that means something else isn't getting the attention it probably should.

But I find these little hacks help you do things a little bit quicker.

So.

Used to be a correspondent for CBS News.

So really good at research.

I'm an excellent researcher, so I can find that recipe that was Handy in the 1920s.

Let's try it again.

Maybe it's applicable today.

And so it's just kind of like that trial and error.

And I didn't really realize I doing this, but my oldest daughter, who's now 32.

So keep in mind, I've been raising kids for 32 years and my youngest is 15.

By the time it's said and done, I will have been raising kids for 38 years, which I'm here to tell you right now.

I don't think God intended any of us to have kids in the house for 32 years straight.

I'm just gonna put it out there.

Right, right.

I think 18 was probably a good number.

So she's really?

The one during COVID who said, I think you should hop on social media and start doing the weird stuff you do around the house.

I was like, what are you talking about?

And I didn't realize I was doing anything different or weird.

But she hadn't had Home ec.

Her generation was that no Home ec, really.

No skills at all in the home front.

Like, how do we even get the lights on on an apartment?

They don't know, Right?

Our generation and I have a couple semesters ahead of you, sister.

I know you are.

Yeah, I'm a lot of semesters ahead of you.

I am right there, though.

I am right.

We had Home ec.

We had some life skills coming out of school.

She and her contemporaries didn't.

So her name's Betsy.

I call her Kid one.

And her best friend Anita said, we need you to show us how to do stuff.

And I'm like, what are you talking about?

Like, you know, boil an egg.

And I'm like, everyone knows how to boil an egg.

They're like, we don't know how to boil an egg.

And I'm being a little bit right.

That's probably.

I'm sure they knew how to boil an egg.

But pretty close.

Pretty close life skills.

And that's kind of how it started.

I kind of started doing it for Kid 1 and her friends to get those tips, like Home Ec on the Internet.

And I was like, nobody's gonna watch.

She said, mom, people are gonna watch.

Cause people need to know how to do this.

And I was like, really?

Do they really?

And she's yeah, she's like, I think people.

She goes, I need it.

And so I put, like, little cookbooks together for them, like, just lifing.

Like, how do you make a smoothie?

Like, little things that you and I totally take for granted because we've been raising kids.

But if you haven't raised kids and you're trying to adult, you do wonder, what do I buy at the grocery store?

When do I buy it?

What do I stock up on?

What can I freeze?

What can I leave in the pantry?

So that's kind of.

That's a long winded answer.

But, yeah, kind of started because a kid wanted her girlfriend, and they were like, I remember doing gingerbread houses one Christmas, and we'd each done our own gingerbread house.

And Anita is at our house all the time.

We call her Kid one and a half.

One point five.

One point five, Kid.

One point five.

And we did gingerbread houses.

And they all did these houses.

And then my gingerbread House was the Barbie Dream House House.

And they were like, of course it is.

It's been glorified.

I'm like, what?

And so they started calling things that I did glorified.

And that's how it happened.

That's where the name came from.

That's where it came from.

From those two.

Okay, well, you sound very organized on top of it.

Do you think that if you want to be able to, like, kind of master the home domain and like, be a great entertainer, that you have to be really organized?

I think organizing helps in the sense of make sure you have things you're using.

I think when you bring in a lot of clutter and your space isn't organized, that's where the conundrum of choice comes in.

I'm a big believer in the conundrum of choice.

I think that's why home designers have such a great business going.

Because you go in to get a faucet and you've got 2,000, they come to you and go, here are your three, right?

So I think if you can make your home like that, like, bring it down to those choices, you'll be a better entertainer whether you know how to cook or not.

You know, just dial down.

I call it the curated kitchen.

Okay.

I have curated my kitchen down a lot.

I don't have every trinket out there.

That's why when you're watching my videos, you don't see me using a ton of tools, of random one off tools.

Let's take that.

Let's take that baking rack and do something with that baking rack other than just cool cookies and cakes on it.

Let's see.

So that one item can serve a lot of purposes.

So I think when you start doing it that way, it's kind of like your wardrobe.

And I'm not.

Trust me, as we've established, I'm not here to give fashion advice, but I find that I wear the same items over and over, over and over, and I think most people do too.

You're going to grab those workhorses, you know, they work well.

Kind of the same for your kitchen.

When you're going to entertain.

Don't have six options on your cheese platters.

Get a couple cheese boards that you like.

You know how the cheese goes on those.

Make it easy, right?

So I think that's where the organizational part comes in.

The more you have, the more difficult it's gonna be.

The fewer choices, the more you're gonna feel more in flow, if you will.

That sounds a little strange, but I mean, you're gonna feel less stressed.

You're gonna be better as a hostess.

You're gonna feel like, I can do this, right?

Absolutely.

So I would say bring it down.

You don't have to be organized as much as you need to know.

I'm trying to figure out a way to say this, because that's a great question.

I've never been asked that question.

The difference between clutter and organization.

Okay, so if you like things.

My mom loves things.

Norma Jean, 94 and a half, going strong, lives alone, drives bridge, mahjong, all the things.

She loves things.

I call them Dustables.

She loves dustables.

I am not a Dustable fan.

But she knows where they are and she knows how to use them.

But she's good at that.

I would go bananas in her house.

I would never pull out the willow blue and white plates.

I would never.

She does.

So if you're good at that, then have all the things.

If you're more like me and you do better in a calm, clean, tailored down environment, I think that's where the decision comes in.

So organize what you're comfortable organizing.

So I don't want to tell anyone you got to go buy the kit.

You got to go buy because you see it, right?

You drive by the Container Store, and, boy, that's addictive.

At my age, that is sexy.

That is a sexy Friday night, right?

A Container Store is sexy.

And I think salt and pepper is sexy, right?

I mean, I'm telling my age, right?

But I think that if you just get it into something you understand and comprehend and things that you use and get rid of the rest, the dust collectors, you're gonna feel great, and you're gonna be more organized than you think.

Okay?

Here's the thing, though.

When we have all these things we've collected over time, let's say they stack up.

We have kids.

You know how things multiply when you've got kids, where do you even start to declutter to get to that place?

Like, do you have, like, three tips?

Like, where you should start to be like, okay, I'm gonna tackle 1, 2, 3, and get my home ready for, like, doing entertaining and all the great things.

Well, first of all, let me just say Scooter would.

And I feel strongly about this, and he's gonna shoot me when I say this would be on the show Hoarders had he not married me, had he not found me.

Okay?

He loves.

He just doesn't want to part with anything at all, ever, ever, ever.

Like, he is attached, attached kid Two is like that.

She's very much like that as well.

They get very attached to things.

My other two kids aren't.

They're more like me.

I'll give you anything.

So it's interesting because the universe kind of brings you what you need, right?

I was probably a little too streamlined, right?

Scooter's like, the problem with you is you organize.

And then once we figure out where it is, you organize again.

He goes, you can't stop organizing.

But he doesn't have any organization, so how do you make all that work?

Right?

I'm lucky.

Cause I'll give you.

If you said you like this sweater, I'd be like, you know what?

If it's your size?

Let's figure this out after the taping, right?

I'll give it.

It's like.

Cause I'm not attached to things, but some people are.

And I understand that.

I'm married to someone who's very attached to things, I guess, which is good for marriage, right?

He's probably not getting rid of me.

He doesn't like getting rid of anything.

So, honestly, I mean, you might want to marry someone who's attached to things because they get attached to you too.

So my number one thing is white plates.

Number one takeaway, get rid of all the fancy plates.

I mean, we all have them, right?

Because you and I, or at least me, again, much older than you, but would register for plates.

The wedding china, we had to have it, right?

Had to have it.

Had to have the silverware, the china, the glassware.

One big earthquake and boom, right here in where we live.

So it's kind of like you learn very quickly, those things are very replaceable.

White plates are the best thing you can do in your kitchen.

Go get yourself some white plates, and you can get them anywhere.

Amazon, Target, Walmart, they are not a heavy lift.

Get a bunch of white plates and start using those.

If you are bringing home takeout, if you are bringing home McDonald's, stick that on a plate before you sit down at the table with your kids.

I don't even care what you're eating.

I'm not here to tell you you've got to buy organic and you've got to cook from scratch.

That is not the world I get to live in, right?

I don't know if I'll ever be living in that world with the kids and dogs and traveling husband, but I think white plates automatically make you feel like something special is happening.

Like elevated a bit, right?

You're sitting down at the table on a plate that has some substance, right?

So it's about the energy you're bringing to that table.

So you can serve whatever you want to your guests when they come over.

Just pull out your white plates.

No paper napkins, cloth only.

I invested in a ton, and I'm not.

And it is good for the environment to not.

But I'm not saying it because of that.

That also, to me, elevates the meal.

So I went.

When we were on a trip abroad, I ran into these French kitchen towels that the lady was basically giving away, like in a street market.

And I look at Scooter and I go, I'm just gonna buy a bunch of these.

And we're getting rid of our napkins and our paper towel napkin things.

And he goes, wait, what?

These are kitchen towels.

I go, yeah, but we're gonna use them as napkins.

And they're pretty.

And boy, I gotta tell you what, you stick one of those down at the plate with your white plate, all of a sudden you're feeling pretty fancy.

But you can get whatever you want anywhere.

Again, just buy yourself some cotton napkins and do a load every.

You know, when you're doing laundry.

I buy enough to where I'll just do them in batch, in bulk, so that you're not driving yourself crazy.

But it doesn't have to be like a formal, expensive linen that you're ironing.

These are wash and dry, fold and done.

There's no ironing going on.

But I'm telling you, the energy you get from a real plate and a real napkin, you even see it in the kids a little bit.

Like, this is a moment.

So those are two big takeaways when you're entertaining, I think that are kind of huge.

I like those a lot.

Those are easy to do, obviously, you know, nice glasses.

I invested in some nice coffee cups.

All my other coffee cups are the photos you get at Walgreens and you give them to your spouse at Christmas, right?

So we've got like 50 of those.

But I invested in, like, six really beautiful, nice coffee cups.

So if I'm serving coffee, it just feels.

It feels better.

So figure out what feels good to you.

Not everybody needs a fancy coffee cup, but maybe your thing is an iced latte.

Go buy yourself some really nice glasses for that.

You can get this stuff at Ikea.

These are not expensive.

Don't be tied to those, because we all have this in our head.

Well, if I'm not pulling the china out, it's not really an event.

Just remove that.

Remove that pressure from yourself.

Just get rid of the paper plates and the paper napkins.

I mean, you'll be shocked at how that feels in your kitchen, right?

Absolutely.

So what do you think is the most underestimated?

Whether it be like a scent or furniture or flowers.

Flowers.

What is the most underestimated thing that you think can create such a great vibe in your home?

Well, it's.

It's gonna be different for everyone.

But I would have to say scent is a big deal, so.

But I don't.

And I'm not a candle person, so I do a lot of simmer pots.

Oh, so you're letting it go on the stove or.

I put.

I have a little mini crock pot, which is even easier.

You don't have to worry about it catching on fire or burning away.

Yeah, so I just stick the old fruit in that.

You know, oranges that are going bad, half eaten apples, whatever.

You can stick it all in.

There was a little bit of vanilla.

So scent is huge.

I think scent is a really big one.

I love flowers.

I'm a big fan of one color at a time on the flowers.

Go to Trader Joe's.

That's like if you go into any fancy hotel anywhere in the world.

Four Seasons in Paris.

Let's just start there.

This is where it dawned on me.

Every flower in the lobby matched different flowers, but same color.

And I was like, wait, something's happening here.

So then I started paying attention to that everywhere we went.

Like, if you go someplace to have tea, you're like, okay, all the flowers are matching.

So one color flowers, whatever that is.

Roxy, if you like pink, white, red, green, buy a whole bunch of different ones in that colorway and make yourself a bouquet.

It's gonna feel fancy and elevated and very affordable.

No, you could.

Yeah, easy.

It's easy, right?

It's just one color.

You walk in there and they have these pre made bouquets, and there's so much happening.

And they never look right when I get them home.

And I trim them down and put them in the vase.

Right.

Don't you struggle.

You're like, why did those look so good?

Right, right.

And you're like, what's happening?

Yeah, it's like they look jinky now in my house.

So I found if I pick up three different varieties of all white, I tend to do a lot of white, stick them together, they look fantastic.

I know that sounds crazy.

So you've got the silver pot going and all white, you know, all pink, all whatever bouquet or whatever.

I think those things are huge.

And don't underestimate a clean sink.

A sink without any dishes at all.

If we have guests coming over, I stick stuff in the dishwasher that probably doesn't even belong in the dishwasher.

Knowing I'm not going to be running the dishwasher.

I will be opening it and I will be pulling that out.

But like, I might even, like the last minute, there's a wooden cutting board that you're not going to put in there.

I'll stick it in the dishwasher just to get it out of the way.

Clean your sink.

It's amazing what kind of energy you can get from a clean sink.

Wow, that's a great.

That's a great tip.

Yes.

A clean sink.

And then music wise, I used to struggle with this.

Like, what do we listen to?

What works for everyone.

And I always put on whether you listen at Amazon, Spotify doesn't really matter.

Everyone's going to have an option called Pink Martini.

Are you familiar with those guys?

No.

Okay, Pink Martini.

But it's a genre, it's a group.

But if you search Pink Martini radio, that's fantastic for entertaining, turn on Pink Martini in the background.

Very simple, right?

I mean, it's super simple.

I've not done any heavy lifting.

I have not gone out and bought a special tablecloth.

Nothing.

And it's just what was there already.

What was there other than the flowers, which are your would probably want to buy anyway, Right?

So that's an easy way to make up space.

Look special.

Super quick.

Okay, so how do you create once, like the guests have arrived and everyone's sitting for the dinner party, how do you create warmth, like, and conversation and kind of, you know, that vibe, so they're really at ease.

Oh, another thing, when you're talking about the guests, make place cards.

I don't know why.

Place cards make things feel fancy, don't they?

They do.

When you go to an event and there's a place card, you're like, oh, well, there's a place card.

Like, they've given this thought, right?

It's thoughtful.

So here's another little tip.

You can go on Amazon or you go to Staples, you can buy place cards.

Actually, Michael's has this in the bridal section at the craft store.

You can print your own place cards.

You can get a whole packet for, like, nothing.

It's going to be place cards for, like, many, many dinner parties.

Get on your computer, download the little template and print these place cards.

Do a really pretty font.

Took you two seconds.

And people show up and go well, look at those place cards.

I mean, these are all low lift, easy.

You can do them today and everyone feels just better.

So just before you worry about setting the mood or the conversation, who do you have sitting next to who?

Yes, that's a big thing.

And what about significant others or spouses?

Do you usually separate them?

I do boy, girl.

Oh, okay.

I do boy, girl.

I know, I know.

All girls, all guys are a big deal.

I usually do boy, girl.

That way the whole table's talking to each other.

Now, if it's massive, which I don't know how many people were holding massive sit down events at their house, then you might consider doing the separation because nobody can really talk over each other.

But if we're talking six people, six, eight people.

I do boy, girl.

To get everybody included, we do a lot of trivia.

Do you do a lot of trivia.

Because you believe in the game?

I love it.

I love it.

And we also do a lot of the holiday crackers.

You know, the English crackers out of season.

Turns out you can get those all year round in different colorways and everything because those are fantastic.

You pop.

You've had those, right?

You pop those open, girl.

They come with a trivia question.

They come with charades.

They come with whatever.

And whether you make it to the charades and the singing or whatever or humming the song, everyone's got a trivia question.

Oh, that's so great.

That really gets, like, everyone excited and.

Having fun and you're not sitting there going as a hostess, like, I'm.

What am I supposed to be doing?

And it's wild.

People will end up being like, oh, my gosh, you know, I'll charade that with you.

Like people that don't even know each other.

So I do a lot of holiday crackers out of season.

I know.

Little.

Little crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

Place cards and holiday crackers and you got yourself a party.

Oh, see, that's so good.

Okay, what is the craziest thing that's ever happened at one of your parties that you've hosted?

That's a good question.

The craziest thing.

You know, I.

I would love to tell you.

I have some really good stories and I don't.

I don't have a.

I don't have one where anyone.

You probably.

People being overserved, maybe, right?

That is, That's a big thing that happens.

That's a big one.

Yeah.

You're having a good time and you're.

Having a good time, Right?

And I, you know, is it.

Are they overserved?

Are they having a good time?

Fraser was like, I don't.

I don't find lines.

So I don't know.

Right.

I don't know.

We did have a husband and wife get into a fight once at the table.

Really?

Yeah, a little, you know.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, a little row.

They didn't make it.

They didn't make it.

So the little moments like that.

But really, honestly, pretty, you know, maybe our friends are just not that.

That exciting, but.

Yeah, but nothing.

Nothing too crazy.

Nothing too crazy.

Nothing too crazy.

I mean, we had a gal help us loading the dishwasher once.

This is back when the stemmed wine glasses are in vogue and she put them in the top and she shut it and all the stems just sheared off the table.

But it's like, honestly, you learn at that moment.

Okay, note to self.

The stemless wine glasses, again, you can get them at Walmart.

Right.

And so.

But yeah, so nothing too crazy.

What about you?

So I think for me, probably people being overserved and, like, dancing on the tabletop.

No, it's always, yeah, yeah, girl, I gotta come to your party.

I know.

Come on over maybe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're setting a different.

Different vibe.

I like it.

I'm here for it.

I am here for the dancing on the table.

Right, right.

I know it's.

It might have been me.

I don't know.

Maybe.

I think the other thing is there's so many cell phones now.

Right?

That's true.

I think things have changed a little bit.

I think the.

I think our kids tell great stories about the parties we've held.

If I had pulled the kids in, I think they have it from a different lens because they're in the background, like, looking around the corner, watching the party.

It's like we did with our parents.

Right, right.

Like we did with our parents where they had the martini glasses and the cigs back when cigs were a thing.

Right.

And so I.

But I do think the cell phone has been an equalizer.

Yes.

People are on better behavior most of the time.

You know, they're like, okay, we have to behave.

They are.

Because we don't know where this is going to end up.

Right.

Exactly.

Exactly.

You know, it's so interesting, too, at this time of life.

It's like midlife is a lot of times about a reinvention and kind of, you know, letting go of the things that we thought we were supposed to be.

Right.

And being truly who we are.

So how do we reflect that in our homes and when we entertain?

Well, I think again, this Pressure to be perfect.

I'm just not on that bandwagon.

I think Martha Stewart is super fun to watch.

I do.

It's not attainable for me.

I'm not planting spring peas.

I'm not.

I'm not molding my own rabbit at Easter out of chocolate.

That's not happening.

So I think if we give ourselves permission to have the party, even when we think we're not prepared, I think that's huge.

Have it.

When it's not perfect, everyone's gonna love it.

You know why?

Because they're not doing it.

I think people are more grateful and gracious to host than they think.

People are grateful someone else is doing it.

Someone else has volunteered their house.

Someone else is doing the heavy lifting.

Prom pictures is a great example.

A couple weeks ago, kid number two went to prom.

I don't know how this really came together, but we had 48 hours to throw prom pictures for 400 people at the house.

So we end up doing it.

And I'm here to tell you, it was a big mix of Costco and Dollar Tree.

It just was.

You've got 48 hours to figure this out.

Domino's Pizza, out the yin yang for these kids.

We had 400 people at our house, and everyone loved it.

And people were like, well, this is fantastic.

I go, thank you.

There's a lot of Dollar Tree and Costco happening here.

And they're like, oh, that's so funny.

No, there's not.

Yeah, there was.

Yeah, there was.

I mean, if you follow along in stories, you know, there was.

Because you were with me at the Dollar Tree buying the gold napkins, which are one of their class colors.

And so I just think people don't see it that way.

You see it that way.

And you're so judgy on yourself.

We're so hard on ourselves.

I'm so grateful when someone else raises their hands to do something, and the older you get, don't you find that, Roxy, that you're more grateful someone's willing to do it?

And so you're just not.

People are not looking at you the same way you are.

Right.

They come, they have a great time.

They really don't care what was served.

No one's gonna be upset you didn't do the bananas Foster.

No one's gonna be upset that you pulled out the Costco cupcakes.

In fact, everyone might go home and go, that was brilliant.

Those were delicious.

Right?

So that's true.

I love that you brought that up, because I think, as you know, sometimes we can become so self conscious.

You know, we tell ourselves all these things.

I'm not good at this, or my house isn't perfect, or I'm not ready to do this.

And it's really about letting go of all of that and not being so hard on ourselves.

Would you agree?

Yeah.

I think the.

The voice inside your head that's telling you what you think people expect when they walk in the door, I think you just don't need to listen to that.

Right.

I just honestly do think people are happy to get together.

And in the world of social media where we're all on our phones now and there's less and less getting together, I think people love it.

Especially, you know, coming through the pandemic.

Right.

We went without seeing friends and we kind of all fell out, remember, for the longest time following Covid for lots of reasons.

It's just.

It's taken a while to get back into that entertaining vibe, hasn't it?

Have you noticed that?

A little bit.

Absolutely.

And I just think that the expectations before COVID and the expectations after Covid are vastly different.

And I think it's easier now to throw something at the last minute and people show up and are happy before.

There might have been more pressure, but it's just.

Just do it.

Just.

Just have it.

Even if you're not ready, just go ahead and have it.

People are gonna be way more gracious than you think.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

For sure.

And especially at this point in our lives when we're trying to kind of redecorate and change things up a bit, what is a common mistake mistake that you see people make and how can they change that?

Especially in midlife, you know, it's like there's a lot of changes going on, and it's kind of like, you know, maybe you want to change this room up or, you know, do this and that.

And what are some mistakes that you see people make that you think you have a better solution to?

Well, that's funny.

My husband would say, don't.

Don't listen to her.

They always do, don't they?

Right?

They do.

Don't spend any money.

Right.

Pencils down.

Oh, good.

I'm glad you hear that on the daily.

Okay, good.

And he's pretty lucky because I don't spend a lot of money.

And where I am shopping, he's even luckier.

He just doesn't know.

Right.

He doesn't know what he doesn't know.

I think that I'm still a fan of the basics.

I'm still a fan of clean Lines.

But this is such a.

If you ask my mom, if she was sitting here, she'd give you a different answer.

I am somebody who doesn't, like I mentioned before, I don't like cluttering, so I like clean colors.

Almost every wall in my house is white.

Right.

Because that gives you a nice palette.

In my mind.

In my mind, that feels good.

In my mind, I prioritize clean and calm with peace versus lots going on.

But whatever.

In the older I've gotten, the better I've gotten about just being okay with that.

Before, I used to be like, gosh, why don't I have a cute little vignette over here?

Why don't I have this all decorated with tchotchkes?

And why isn't this looking like it did?

It's Blanky Doo Dah's house.

Because I don't like it.

It looks great at her house, and it feels good at her house, and it felt great at my mom's house or whatever.

But I like things cleaner.

I think if you just bring it down to clean, and I would strip everything out of a room that you want to improve, strip it out, and then start adding things back in before you go out and buy more things.

I think people are overwhelmed with things, to be honest.

I think there can be.

And the older we get.

Now, I understand people giving stuff away.

The older they get, they don't care.

You know, this the way you and I used to shop 20 years ago.

I guarantee we're shopping different now, right?

Well, first of all, we used to have time, right?

We used to have life minutes to be cute and do all the things.

I mean, girl, you're still wearing the shoes.

Oh, my gosh.

You're still wearing the shoes.

And your husband is super lucky.

Yeah, I mean, your husband's super lucky.

But I think that.

I think the pressure on all of that, like, your space here is beautiful.

I love what you've done here.

This is amazing.

But you came in with a clean slate.

Only bring in what you love.

That's really the answer.

Bring in what you love.

And I'm not trying to go Marie Kwondo on you and make you hold it.

And do you feel all the things?

I don't know.

I tried.

I tried.

I'm like, girl, what am I supposed to feel?

I don't know what I'm supposed to feel.

And so that was not working for me.

Although I think she's darling.

And that would actually be very fun to meet her and have her explain it a little bit.

Better.

I'm not that in touch with, you know, my house plants, but I think that if you love it and it brings you joy, then let's keep it.

But I would get rid of most of it.

I would dial it back instead of bringing it in and changing that space, instead of bringing more pillows, instead of bringing another throw, you know?

And who doesn't like walking through home goods with a latte?

I'm here for it.

I love it.

I know it's true.

I love it.

It's true, and it's fun.

Boy, you leave there and you're like, oh, did I need the hundred hair ties in the glass thing that I really shouldn't display in the bathroom.

I should not.

But it's the same thing when you go to Target, too.

Same thing it is.

You just walk out of there and you're like, why did I do this?

Like, why?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, and so I've gotten much better about that.

Much better.

So I think remove versus add and see how you feel.

Because I do think things don't let you think clearly.

The more you have around you, I think it just makes it more cluttered.

And I feel like in midlife, I want more calm.

I don't know about you, but I'm done.

I love my kids, but I'm just done.

Totally.

I love them.

Bye.

Bye.

I love them.

I love them.

And I don't know what.

I don't know as an adult because I had Betsy at 22.

I don't know what it's like to have free will.

I've been raising kids that long.

And you're probably at the point where you don't remember free will, right?

Because really, our lives and jobs right now are to keep people alive, right?

Keep them alive, get them to 18.

I mean, it's the right.

Age is probably higher now, right?

We got to get them higher now than 18.

But our parents only had till 18.

They lucked out, right?

They were like, oh, gosh, we got you to college.

See you.

Right now we're tethered electronically.

Hey, what did I order at cpk, you know, or kid, too will be like, hey, I'm here, here.

What do I eat here?

You're like, okay, sis, you eat, right?

If I never got.

We never get to give to our parents, right?

So I'm looking for calm.

And I think if your house is calm, your space is calm, your kitchen counters are clear.

Like, what do you have on those kitchen counters?

Right?

All the chotchkes from HomeGoods.

I mean, why why?

And are we using them?

No.

And then you have to dust them, right?

The cleaning, the cleaning.

Cleaning is rid of stuff you don't have to clean.

It says.

That's the other thing I got down to.

I was like, these counters are way easier to wipe down when I got nothing on them.

It's such a quick wipe.

It's easy.

I know.

And my kids will say, why don't we have more things?

Do they say that?

Yes, because we saved the house we're in now.

It went through a huge remodel.

We now know why it was on the market and didn't sell for four years.

But we saved it.

We're good.

And literally, kid two gonna bring her up again.

God bless her.

She's like, when are we gonna finish decorating?

It's like, oh, girl, I think we're done.

What do you mean?

She's like, we're done.

And I was like, she's like, scooter, they like things, right?

And she's like, what do you mean?

I go to other people's houses.

They have way more stuff.

Where's all of our stuff?

I said, well, when we moved out to remodel, I just got rid of a lot of it, and I decided not to bring it back because guess who was cleaning it?

Right?

You're looking at her, right?

It's like, who was keeping track of this stuff?

Right?

And so I think it just felt better.

It felt better.

And I was like, you've got your room.

And her room looks vastly different than the rest of the house.

She's got her things, and she can have them in that room.

Yeah.

But it's like, I just.

I think clean.

My biggest decorating tip is get rid of something.

And I'm not a decorator.

Right.

But I think that that feels better.

That feels better.

Right?

What about you?

So I do feel a good sense when I let go of things that are not, like, you know, necessary or not serving us in some way.

I do feel so much better.

I do feel like, you know, the house is more simplified.

And I think, too, especially with, like, perimenopause and all the things, my nerves are already more heightened than they ever were and the anxiety.

So when I look around and I see things that are really out of place or messy, you know, it gives me stress.

So I would agree with that.

I would say letting go of, like, you know, just things that are hanging around that are.

That are unnecessary, but also, like, making this space comfortable, too, you know, with our dogs and our kids and, you Know, just making it feel like home, like a place.

Like you're saying to, like, go and de stress, not add to the chaos, you know, I think the house, the.

Little plants, the herb plants from Trader Joe's are incredibly underestimated.

Oh, buy yourself.

This one's right at the front, right.

Buy yourself two or three of those in the produce section.

So I've always usually got basil going.

Definitely basil, mint and rosemary or whatever.

You can pick up whatever you want, whatever your combo is.

They're sitting right there by the sink.

And I'm so happy with those three little plants.

I know that sounds crazy, but you got something living, right, and you're using them.

You know, stick some of that on top of your dinner, and it looks so fancy.

So fancy.

Even if you're bringing a takeout, right?

Yes.

You cut up a little basil, and all of a sudden it looks like you did something right with a little flaky sea salt and balsamic vinegar.

And all of a sudden, everyone's like, oh, my God, what is happening?

And you're like, well, just pizza, right?

Pizza from down the street.

But I think things like that, those are useful.

I am about having useful things in your kitchen.

Anything that can help you, that makes you feel good.

Let's do both.

But I don't want something to dust.

I don't want just an object sitting there just for fun, just collecting dust.

I mean, now what.

What do you say to the folks that are, you know, like, going through midlife?

But maybe it's the sandwich generation, so they're taking care of elderly, aging parents.

Maybe the parents live with them in the house, and maybe they're also taking care of their kids.

So they're kind of caught in the middle, but want to create a special, you know, space in the house for themselves.

What do you say to them?

Like, how do they still kind of have their own identity in the house with all of these other people around?

First of all, I think that's incredibly hard.

So let's just start there as someone who hasn't been able to live alone for 32 years and counting.

Not that I'm looking to live alone.

Scooter, don't.

Don't get stressed.

I'm not looking to live alone when kid three's gone to college.

But I think my family hears me say this all the time, and they can't stand it.

But I tell them, the kitchen's my office, the kitchen's my office.

So you're in my office right now.

I don't come into yours.

I don't go to Scooter's office and run around and leave messes.

So I think pick that space in the house where you can do that.

So if it isn't the kitchen for you, where is your office?

Is it your bedroom?

Is it your bathroom?

And like, make that your space.

Now we're obviously my.

Unfortunately, my space is incredibly shared, the most trafficked part of the house, period.

But they understand it's mine and they understand there needs to be something different happening there.

So when I started calling that space my office, it took on a different tone for everybody.

They just got it right.

Yeah.

You know, the kids have their bedrooms, so they've got their zone.

I don't have any other place that I can go and be alone.

So it's kind of like, this is it and you're in it causing problems.

Right.

Especially since I shoot in the kitchen all the time.

It literally is my office.

And so can you imagine?

They come down, they're like, oh, time for a sandwich.

I'm like, I am so sorry.

I have butter swim biscuits in the oven and the timer's going off in two minutes.

So if you want to be in the background in your boxers.

Kid 3 Then welcome.

That might help the views, but I go again, this is my office.

You guys need to kind of respect that.

So I say pick a spot where you can call that your space.

And once you kind of set the tone and call it whatever you want, doesn't have to be office, you can call it whatever you want, they'll see it differently.

They'll see it as your space.

And I think it's kind of important to give everybody and the house their space.

I think it's important.

So when my mother comes or my father in law comes, for them to have their own space, to know that they can keep their stuff.

Like Pops, we joke.

Pops on the perch in the kitchen at the island.

He's got his space.

I'm like, okay, pops, your stuff is here.

You know, I still, I've got kids and dogs.

It's like, welcome, this is your spot.

When people are given spots, the kids have cubbies, right?

I don't have a cubby because we don't have enough cubbies.

But it was more important for them to have that, right.

I think when people have a space and they know they have a space and it doesn't have to be a whole room, they feel more settled and welcome.

Like, I can leave my things here.

That's a great point.

That's a odd Little tip.

But I do feel like if you can let people know this is all theirs.

Do what you want with this.

They feel better and they're comfortable.

They're comfortable.

And they don't feel like.

They're, like, you know, constantly, how do you do this?

How did you do that?

How did you want this?

How did you.

It's like, doesn't matter, Pops.

Just leave your stuff here.

Right, right.

That's a good point, too.

Yeah, you're right.

Because when people come over, they're like, should I do this or should I do?

And it's like you're half the time answering questions.

Well, the minute someone walks in your door, right.

Shoes on or off?

Where do I leave my purse?

Do you have a coaster?

Do you use coasters?

Are they still a thing?

Like, it's like, right.

You've got all these iterations of what you're trying to be to them because you're trying to be a good guest.

And it just isn't super comfortable if you're staying for many days or you live there.

Right.

So it may be your house, but they're your family.

They're your family.

Right.

It's like the dogs.

Yes, yes, I know the dog.

That's the thing.

How do you keep organized with dogs?

Because we have two and, you know, they kind of have.

Right.

And they kind of have free rein a bit.

You know, they do what they do.

So what about for pet.

For pet owners and pet parents?

Well, I mean, that's a good one.

Their toys are everywhere.

I'm not gonna lie to you.

And as much as I wanna pick them up, I've got one that works all day.

Tiger works all day.

He's working all day.

Tippy lounges.

And so she doesn't really have a job.

Tiger has a job.

And Tiger does believe his job is moving the toys around the kitchen, the family room, everywhere.

It's really funny.

We joke.

Tiger's going to work.

And by the way, he is smaller than her.

And they eat the same amount and they're the same size, but he's thinner.

He's thinner because he's always working.

He's like, on it, always the time.

Yeah, it's really funny.

And so I will pick it up.

And he's got, you know, he's got the cuddle cups.

So we do our best there.

And then you stick them all in the cuddle cups.

The dogs are like, I don't know why, but our pets just get a hall pass.

Yes, they just get a hall pass.

The best you can do.

Is a bend for them the best you can do?

Right.

There's nothing.

I mean, there's nothing you can do there.

They just bring so much joy.

They do.

They do.

You're right.

They get a hall pass.

They get a whole pass.

The dogs are different.

Right.

Because they're there for you when you need them.

You know, they'll let you hold them.

They'll come up to you.

They're not treating you like everyone else in the house.

Right, Right, exactly.

All different.

They can talk back all they want.

They get to know what they want.

Right.

And they're such great little vacuums.

Yes, they are.

I mean, drop a piece of food, they're gone in half a second.

You know, it's like they're so handy.

Yes, they're so handy.

They're the best.

They're the best.

So also, you know, like, for a woman who's trying to get her spark back in the house, you know, especially at this time, what.

What is like a playful, fun tip that you can recommend?

Like, she wants to kind of get, like, maybe settle her identity and.

And really kind of, like, you know, change things up and.

And.

And kind of just put a stamp on her own house.

Like, what is like a playful way that she can kind of figure out what that is if she doesn't know what it is.

Are you talking from an aesthetic or from a personal.

Like, from an aesthetic.

Paint your front door a color.

Okay.

That's what I would do.

Okay.

Like, let people know, like, okay, I'm here.

Yeah.

I love painted front doors.

Do you.

Do you have a painted front door right now?

It's black.

Okay.

Yeah, it's black.

Love that.

But I mean, it's.

I've had red over the years.

I've had gray painting your front door a color.

I think red was my favorite.

Our neighbors wouldn't be happy now if we did that.

But our house before, we were able to paint the front door without neighbors weighing in, which is wild.

Right?

Which is wild.

I can't believe neighbors get a say and things like that.

It's like, it's your house, but we live in la, sister, so, you know, people get to chime in a lot on things.

I say paint that front door.

That's a great statement.

Isn't that crazy?

Because it's kind of like you're making your statement on your house from the very beginning.

Like a red front door.

Pink.

I've seen the most darling pink front doors.

But whatever you want, whatever you're, you know, if you're if your partner, spouse is okay with it.

Scooter doesn't care.

I could paint our entire house inside, outside, pink.

He wouldn't know till the bill came.

He does not care.

He's.

I'm very, very lucky.

He just cares about the bottom line.

He just cares about the bottom line.

So I would say that's.

That's a.

That's a good one.

And if you can.

Light fixtures are underestimated.

Get online.

Look at Home Depot.

The light.

I mean, these do not have to be expensive.

There's some amazing lighting fixtures.

If you want to update your space, change out your lighting fixtures.

That's a good point.

Yeah.

Because that easy is an easy, quick fix.

Get an electrician over there, you know, get on TaskRabbit or whatever.

Get someone come over license.

Change out those light fixtures.

I found the cutest light fixtures at Ikea.

I know, I know.

People walk in and go, where's that from?

Right?

It looks so nice.

You know what I mean?

But you're like, it should be like, it's from Ikea girl.

And they're like, what?

Yeah, yeah.

So light fixtures are huge.

Paint your front door, stick a fun little light fixture over your kitchen table or in your, you know, entryway, and.

You'Re not breaking the bank on that, which is nice.

These are nothing.

Nothing I do breaks the bank.

Okay.

The scooter wouldn't be married to me if it did.

Yeah, he's alligator arms.

Think about that.

He's like, I can't reach my pocket to get to the checkbook.

You know?

And so we call them T Rex arms.

Oh, my God.

And so.

Yeah, but.

But it's great because I think we're a good match in that sense because I'm.

I'm very budget.

Yeah.

I love a good dupe.

I mean, I do.

I do.

I love.

As you know, I love a good copycat.

Yes.

Big fan.

So all of these amazing hacks and dupes, you know, we're in the summer travel season right now.

We're, like, at the height of it.

So what are three great travel hacks you have for people that are, you know, traveling this summer?

I would say ask for a corner room.

That is the.

As far as hotels go, whether you're driving or flying, do you want a corner room that's.

Does it cost anything to do that?

No.

Okay.

No more.

To get a corner room, just call ahead.

Call ahead and make friends with that friend, the person at the front desk.

So when you call, you usually go to a reservation bank, right?

And it could be somebody anywhere.

Get to that hotel, look up that hotel's number directly and call the front desk direct.

Make friends with someone.

Email the concierge if they've got one.

Make friends with somebody on the ground.

They're going to help you.

They're going to help you get stuff for free and you don't even know it.

Yeah.

And then give them a little tip when you get there.

Right.

It's amazing what just a little tip will get you.

I think that's massive.

When you are traveling and ask for a corner room and they may upgrade you anyway, but that corner room is big because it's going to give you more space.

Doesn't cost them any more.

Right.

So I just think that's a fantastic one.

My packing hack.

I'd be crazy if I didn't tell you about that.

Where I take the sweater hanger.

Yeah.

Big fan.

I know.

Since I.

Since that's been out.

There's a lot of suitcases out there.

You know the problem with those?

You can't.

They are stuck in place and you can't.

That's not amenable to moving it around.

You know, my sweater hanger is what, $12, 15 bucks and it fits in any suitcase I own.

It's not a special suitcase.

I can put it in the carry on.

I can put it in the checked bag.

I think it's great.

Better than packing cubes.

Very easy.

I just used it last week when we were on spring break.

Sweater hangers.

I've got underwear, workout gear.

Da da da da ding.

Put it in the suitcase, get to the hotel, hang it up.

That gave Scooter all of the drawers.

Oh, that's a great tip.

Because you don't need the drawers after that.

Well, you don't have those drawers.

And you know, I'm a germ phobe.

Oh, yeah.

You never know what's going on in there.

I'm like, you know, we were at a hotel once and I opened the drawers and there were dirty sheets in the drawers.

It was like a party had just been thrown.

And I was like, wow, wow.

Okay, where's the next nearest dollar tree?

Where can I go get some cleaning supplies?

And I'm like, this is crazy.

I'm at a hotel and I'm about to clean a hotel and we've all seen the gals cleaning the rooms.

Right on.

When they get there, it's like, I get it, I get it.

So it's like, keep your stuff nice and neat and germ free.

Keep it in your Own little device.

So I would say that's another great little tip.

And I think when you are at the airport, I'm a big fan of getting there a little early.

I know people aren't like, how much.

That's not really a great hack.

But I think it's underestimated because airports are a mess these days.

In the summer, they're horrible.

And nobody's on their best behavior.

Nobody likes going through tsa, God bless them.

They honestly, they're the most patient people in the world because they've had people screaming at them all day.

But when you're traveling with a bunch of kids, like we do, it's a lot.

And I just.

The stress of that last minute getting there and things.

If you don't give yourself time and things don't go right, you're going to start that trip off on a really bad foot.

Who hasn't stepped on airplane fighting, right?

It is the absolute worst, right?

Because travel brings out.

They always say, if you're in a new relationship, travel with someone, right?

Or you've even got girlfriends you know you can travel with and girlfriends you know you can't travel with.

It's the same thing.

So just give your.

There's nothing.

That is one of the greatest luxuries out there.

Time.

Time is the most coveted luxury period of our day and age.

It isn't money.

People think it's money.

It's really time.

So if you give yourself that when you're traveling, that'll set the tone for your trip.

And I think that's hugely helpful.

Another huge.

I mean, I've got so many tips that would bore you tears.

Please.

Like putting your shoes in shower caps.

Go get a bunch of shower caps.

Get on Amazon or go to the Dollar Tree and put them on the bottom of your shoes.

That way you can see what shoes are.

What?

I know there's a lot of fancy linen bags out there, but I don't know what that is.

I don't know what that shoe is in that bag.

And then you gotta open them all up, the clear ones.

It's so much easier.

So stick a shower cap and they're reusable.

You can use them again.

They're reusable.

Use a little pill holder for your earrings and necklaces.

Oh, wait, for necklaces.

Okay, so for necklaces, so they.

Straw, I put.

If it's a long one, I'll put it through a straw and clasp it so it doesn't get all tangled.

But like, for earrings, like the earrings you've got on just stick them in a pill container again.

You can pick that up at the Dollar Tree, Walmart, Target, whatever, and use that because it's way easier.

Some of these jewelry things are a little complicated, right.

They're big, they're big, they're cumbersome.

You want to just get it down to like just really, you know, streamlining it so you're not packing so much and it's not so heavy.

If you've got any sort of opened container, open it and stick a piece of plastic on top and then close it again.

That way it's not going to pop open.

Obviously stick in a plastic baggie.

But if you do that extra layer and if you have like toiletries like you and I probably travel with the same patters.

That round cotton swab on top of that compact to keep it in place.

So if you drop it, that'll keep it from busting.

Oh, that's a good one too.

Cause I feel like I open up my makeup bag and things have exploded.

Things are broken.

It's all the things.

Yeah.

And then I would do these little travel washcloths.

They look like candies.

I love them.

I can't live without them.

They are biodegradable, so don't worry about it.

For the environment.

They are 100% cotton.

Get them on Amazon.

They're micro.

And that way you go to the hotel you're at.

Because don't you feel bad about taking your makeup off on a white washcloth?

Right?

I don't even use a white washcloth to take my makeup off at home.

Right.

So I use these little guys, the little travel ones.

They're fantastic.

Oh, that's great.

I could go on and on and on.

Sis.

Yes.

No.

I've got a whole section on my website for travel hacks and tips.

I just feel bad because I could be here all day, so you're gonna have to stop me.

No, no, no.

This is great.

Now, are you a fan of DO Because I know some people, they only take a carry on bag when they travel.

Now, do you do checked and carry on or can you fit everything into your carry on?

It depends on the length of the trip and what's happening.

So if it's three days and under, I can do a carry on.

If it's over than that, I'm checking.

Yeah.

And I hope, hoping for the best.

I stick the airtag in it and I track my luggage.

Oh, that's good to have the air tag.

Yes, just have the air tag.

And it's so handy.

It's so.

And it's actually kind of fun.

And the kids like keeping track.

They're like, wow, we made it all the way home once.

And they're like, oh, your bag is still in Maui.

We made it all the way home and the bag was still in Maui.

But there's some comfort knowing where your bag is.

So even if it's lost, you kind of have your, like, you still.

You feel like you have some control.

Big fan of the airtags.

And they're a low lift.

I mean, they're like, what, 25 bucks if you buy them in a pack, it seems like a lot, but boy, it's worth it if your bag is lost.

You know, that's a good thing too.

I heard people also take those same airtags.

Of course you can reuse them.

They stick them in their kids shoes when they go to Disneyland.

So in case the kids wander off, you can immediately train your child too.

You know, put them in your purse, right?

Yes.

Put them everywhere.

I love them.

They're fantastic.

So that's a low lift thing.

That makes a huge difference because you know what?

For that one in a million time, your bag is lost.

Honestly, we hear this all the time, but bags aren't really lost that often when you think about the volume.

But when it's yours, it matters.

It matters.

Yes.

It matters a lot.

You were on that phone with the airline.

You were like, where is my bag?

Where's my bag?

And so I just think that's a nice.

It was nice knowing the only time it's been lost and we travel a lot.

I knew where it was and I could help them and you could help.

And I was like, well, still at the airport.

They're like, really?

How do you.

How do you know it's saying it was on the plane?

You're like, no, it's at the airport, girl.

Yeah.

So how are you living life iconically right now?

Oh, my gosh, you're so funny, sis.

I don't have time for living life iconically.

I just.

If I can get my hair washed that I know.

Like if I shave my legs and wash my hair in the same day, that's huge.

That's an iconic day.

And that never happens.

Like, if that's a same day situation for the zone I'm in in life, I call it the frantic years.

I'm in the frantic years and I won't always be in them.

But once I kind of re.

Rejiggered that in my mind, it took pressure off and it made me Feel a lot better and less hard on myself.

I am in the frantic years.

That's just where I'm at.

My kids are teens.

My kids are teens.

My husband travels like he's not even home right now.

Dogs are aging.

It's like, it's just all of the things.

And once you realize, wow, that's just where I'm at, I'm not always going to be here.

I think that's.

If you can do that.

To me, that's kind of iconic because it took me a long time to get there.

Took me a long time to just finally be okay with being okay, if that makes sense.

Accepting where I'm at right now is the best advice I can give someone.

Except where you are right now, you're not always going to be there.

You can switch it up.

I can do something different when the kids leave the house, they're not always going to be here.

It feels like it doesn't.

It feels like the kids are always going to be here.

But I think that's probably the best advice.

I mean, I'm the worst at making time for myself.

I wish I had some great tips to tell you, but I feel like I work full time like you do.

It's like if you're working full time time and you've got kids and things to keep alive, it's really hard to find that time for yourself.

Absolutely.

It is.

It's so hard.

Time management, even time time management is ridiculous.

And, you know, used to be the answer was, I'll just sleep less.

And then you hit midlife and you're.

Like, whoa, wait, oh, no, I need that.

Well, I can't sleep less.

Wow.

Okay.

That sign of.

That sign.

Remember that billboard, you can sleep when you're dead?

Yeah.

What was that around here, like, 15 years ago for, like, some gym company?

You can sleep when you're dead.

Wow.

No, you can't.

It's like, no.

As you get older, you have to have sleep.

I think something that helped me, and I know this isn't what.

What I'm here for, have many other people that can speak on this.

But I think figuring out, you know, going through perimenopause and now menopause, the bioidentical hormones, for me, changed my life.

Change my life.

Game changer.

Total game changer.

I'm here for it, if that's what you need.

Boy, they're helpful, you know, and I don't.

I'm not a doctor.

I don't know who needs them and who doesn't need them.

But for me, wow.

When my doctor figured that out, well, he.

He knew.

I mean, when he suggested it, did the blood work and dialed me in, it's amazing.

Like, okay, now I'm okay.

Being in the frantic years before those bioidentical hormones, I probably wasn't, because I wasn't feeling, you know, I wasn't feeling like I was in control.

But, you know, super cute Dr.

Lycos.

Oh, we love him.

Love him.

Right over there in Santa Monica.

Dialing that in.

It's like, yeah, no, it's true.

Because it's like, you know, everything changes.

And your sleep is better.

Your sense of peace, probably even.

I mean, just feeling in your own body again, because I think that's a big part of it is like, sometimes I feel like I'm not even in my body.

I'm like, what body is this?

What's happening?

And I think that the thing for me with the hormone replacement has been I'm able to sleep.

Okay.

That's huge.

That's huge.

Yes.

There are no night hot flashes.

Right?

It's like, so little things like that.

It's amazing how that moves the needle, really.

And I'm like, why are we suffering through this?

Why are we?

Luckily, again, as the baby, I've got sisters who've come before me.

And luckily, one of my sisters go, oh, my God, Game changer for me.

Bioidentical hormones.

She goes, I truly believe they've saved my mind type of thing.

And I'm like, why are we not talking about this?

Why didn't you tell me you're on bioidentical hormones?

We are not talking about it enough.

And I think now it's more in vogue to talk about these things and let people know, you know, they're like, oh, how are you making all this happen?

You know, you're going through menopause like the rest of us.

And it's like, girl, I'm through menopause.

But, you know, I've got help.

I'm supporting this.

I didn't suffer through it.

I wasn't like, give me a leather strap and let's just do this.

Right, right.

Totally.

I mean, how about you?

I mean, yeah, No, I think it's so important, like you're saying, to talk about it.

And that's what I really want to do here on the iconic midlife.

I want people to be open about this because nobody ever gave us a handbook about midlife and, like, all the changes in our bodies and, you know, men are not going through the same things that we're going through.

So it's.

It's hard.

I can't really talk to my husband about this.

You know, it's other women.

So I think that, you know, I think I am right on that cusp of investigating myself, like bioidentical hormones and things like that, you know, But I do think my sleep is affected and just, you know, feeling in my body and trying to figure out what is going on.

But it's interesting, when I test for the hormones, the hormone levels say they're, quote, unquote, within normal range, which, you know, could mean, you know, many different things.

But.

But.

So, yeah, I think I'm really about to really start, you know, jumping into that pond because, you know, I don't like to not sleep.

I don't like to feel tired when I wake up in the morning.

You know, I don't like to have, like, the night sweats and all that kind of stuff.

So I feel like that's right there, like I'm jumping into the pond, you know?

Well, and I think I saw something the other day along these lines that isn't just the physical changes that are happening, but mentally.

And again, I'm not a doctor.

Need to keep saying that.

But, you know, you watch, you listen to something or you read something, you're like, oh, I figured it all out.

But this really resonated with me, and I actually shared it.

Stories that there was this doctor talking about how as women get older, their mental capacity for flex changes.

You're younger, you're more pliable.

And I'm bringing this down to brass tacks.

I'm probably butchering this, but I'm just going to give you the idea because I thought it was fascinating and it made tons of sense.

We get married, we have those kids, lots of flexibility.

We're just more amenable.

We're more amenable.

The older we get, the less amenable we are, the more we're like, no, I'm important.

What are my needs?

What do I want right now?

Divorce rates start climbing because guess what?

You're like, wait.

The husband's like, wait.

Well, how come you're not so, you know, amenable anymore?

Why aren't we doing everything I want to do?

Wait.

What?

You've got a voice now.

You're right.

And so I am definitely.

I'll raise my hand and tell you I'm the first one to be there.

I am the first one to be there.

I used to have way more patients.

I have none now.

Roxy, I'm Going to be honest, I have no patience.

I feel it.

I feel it.

All my years of news didn't help because there's nothing.

It's nothing like a deadline, right?

So I just.

I don't have any patients anymore.

And I thought that was really good to know and understand about ourselves, that as we are getting older and again, there's a bell curve and maybe someone will always be amenable.

But I do think, knowing that about ourselves, that we have to figure out a way again.

Going back to calling the kitchen in my office, I wouldn't have had the courage to do that 15 years ago.

I'd have been like, oh, no, no, please.

You know, the people pleaser.

How do I let you guys all come in here and make my place a mess, even though I'm trying to work in here?

It's like the older you get, you're finding your voice.

And that's what's happening right now, right?

We're finding our voice.

We're finding our second act, our third act, whatever that is, whatever that act is.

It doesn't mean that you're taking on a career, right?

Your act can be something completely different, whatever that is to you.

But it's a fun time because we're finally almost free in a way.

I don't know how to explain that.

It is a very freeing thing where you realize, I think, free will, when someone said, you know, then free will comes into play, it was like a light bulb went off in my head.

I haven't had free will.

And if you're raising kids and you've got a husband who's from the 1950s, the Leave it to Beaver era, it's like, you haven't had free will, girl.

It's coming, sis.

You are about to have free will, and it's so exciting.

And then you top that with some bioidentical hormones, and you're like, what in.

God's great earth recipe for success.

Right?

So I think that that's.

I think there's a lot of fun things to look forward to right now.

And I wish I had something Madonna iconic y to share with you, but I just think that is really the most exciting thing that's happening.

You do feel less importance on things, less importance on looks, less importance on the things that we thought mattered.

And they did matter when you're trying to get a mate, right?

They did matter when you were in those years.

They don't matter now, right?

They matter less and less.

I'm not saying let yourself go and don't Ever look good for your husband and shave your legs?

I'm still shaving my legs.

Right.

We're all shaving our legs.

But I think that is probably the best, the best moment about these years.

Right?

Do you, Are you feeling that a little bit?

I mean, obviously with this podcast, you're onto something, sis.

Oh, my gosh.

You're ahead of the curve here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

I mean, I definitely feel like I'm giving fewer fucks, basically.

Yeah.

You know, really?

That's actually good bumper sticker, right, isn't it?

Giving fewer fucks, actually.

Let's get some shirts right.

You need to sell that merchant.

That is.

That's honestly what I can't wait.

We've got coffee cups and shirts and sweatshirts happening.

I'll take a crew next.

Okay.

Okay, I'll send it to you.

I got you covered, girl.

But yeah, no, I think it is.

It's really finding your voice and stepping into your power, you know, and just really being comfortable in who you are.

And it's, it's, it is such a wonderful time and I think there is still a lot of life to live, you know, at this point and going forward, you know.

But I'm curious, what kind of advice would you give to your 25 year old self?

I think, you know, and if.

For those that have followed along in my stories, you know, at 25, we were all lining up in LA to get implants.

There was a time when that was a thing and I think baywatch was popular.

90210, the pressures of looking good and the whole thing.

So I signed up, I did it, you know, gave into a lot of those things that we thought we had to.

And you know, a couple of years ago I had to have the implants out, you know, so that was a journey.

And I do wish I had known that I was enough.

I didn't feel that.

I absolutely did not feel it.

I gave in to all of it.

I gave into all of society.

I gave in to the Baywatch effect.

I gave into all of that.

That we had to be in this box to be accepted.

Turns out you don't.

Turns out you don't.

And I think that would be my best advice.

Don't, don't do it.

You don't need the implants.

You don't need this, you don't need that.

Still need the hair color, right?

Not crazy.

I'm not crazy.

You know, I'm not gonna.

But I mean.

And it's fine if you don't color your hair.

I'm not saying you're crazy.

Me, personally, it's like, so.

It's like, I think just knowing that whoever you are, you are fine.

You're fine where you are.

The universe has a plan.

It's gonna work it out.

You know, I've been basically left at the altar at one time in my life.

You know, a couple weeks before the wedding, huge wedding, canceled.

It's like.

And guess what?

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

It all comes in.

It all comes into play.

Single working mom for a decade.

Guess what?

I'm fine.

She's fine.

At the time.

You don't think you're fine at the time, you're like, oh, my gosh, what am I?

You know, by the time I was 25, I was getting implants and I was a divorced, single, working mom.

I'd already been married, divorced, getting implants.

Because I thought, well, maybe that will be the.

Maybe that'll be the thing.

Maybe that'll do.

It turns out none of that matters.

None of that matters.

So I think just knowing, and I know it sounds so trite.

You are enough.

We see that everywhere, right?

It's everywhere.

It's in the coffee shop below you, right on their mirror.

You are enough.

And you really don't care or know what that means till you.

You're older, right?

But you are exactly the way you're supposed to be.

You are exactly the way, you know, God planned it, the universe planned it.

Whatever your belief system is, you're here the way you're supposed to be here, having the experience you're supposed to have.

I got that memo super late.

I got that memo super late.

But you got it.

You got it.

Finally got it.

You got it.

Grateful for it.

And I just think if we could get that younger.

And I do feel like the younger generations get it.

I see them differently.

I see them looking at themselves differently.

I love it.

I love them accepting themselves where they are.

I think that's fantastic.

You and I didn't have that.

And I think unless you live it, you don't know, right?

You don't know what that pressure was like.

No, you don't.

Back in the day, it was huge.

Was it not huge?

It was huge.

It was huge because we were right on that.

Like, we were right before the social media explosion and all the things.

And, you know, we didn't have places to look to find inspirational, you know, helpful, even.

Like a meme that you come across on Instagram or what have you, or, like, one of your videos.

One of Your posts or, you know, all these different tools that this younger generation has.

We were kind of left to fend for ourselves and listen to what you know or know what we already knew.

And it's just kind of like, you know, that that is exciting for this new generation.

And we didn't see anybody like us.

We only saw the stars and the supermodels.

There were no regular people on magazines.

And when I say regular people, people that remember we had Christie Brinkley and Cheryl Tiggs.

Again, I'm older than you.

No, but it's true.

We had.

Everyone was perfection all the time.

Anything we saw was perfection.

And it was very difficult.

And I do love that all of my kids are not getting fed that.

So I will say I'm here to back social media on the fact that there's a lot of everyone on there.

And I love it.

I love it.

I love all the colors and shapes and sizes of absolutely everything.

Wear whatever you want.

Be whoever you want to be.

Just be you.

Just be you.

Whatever that looks like.

You know, when you and I were growing up, there was a conformity going on.

And if you weren't conforming to it, well, what was the message?

Well, I'm not worthy, I'm not enough.

I'm definitely not getting married.

Who would want that?

I'm out here being myself.

What nobody wants a quirky chick running through Target, right?

Who's gonna marry that girl, right?

I mean, even now Scooter, God bless him and I do love him.

Even now Scooter will be like, you know, I saw your story.

You know, you were on there like that, right?

I'm like, dude, yes, I do know.

And guess what?

Everyone else was too, right?

When I called her, she had the same thing going on.

She was in her pajamas too.

But it's funny, he still has that, right.

See, you know, because it's so ingrained in us.

It's so ingrained.

And we do it to our daughters too, right?

We do it to our daughters too, right?

We still do.

Are you wearing that?

Is that what you're wearing?

Right?

I did it to Jack last week.

Are you wearing that on the plane?

He goes, have you seen what people wear on the plane?

I go, oh, I guess.

He goes, I don't have pajamas on.

There will be people on our flight in pajamas.

And I was like, that's a good point.

Carry on.

You don't have pajamas on.

Excellent.

But there it was, there was 94 year old Norma Jean.

Why isn't your lipstick on there?

She was.

And I love my mom, but born in 1930, the world was vastly different to her.

Totally different.

Right?

Yeah.

And so I just think, you know, being able to pass that on to the kids is a gift.

It's a gift.

Be.

Be you.

Yes.

25 year old Roxy and Laura.

Yes.

Just be who you are.

Who cares?

Your people are going to find you.

And we are enough.

Yes.

We are enough, right?

Yes.

As we are.

And the universe is going to bring you together.

Like you and I here today.

We met for the first time today.

It's like this is supposed to be right.

We're just being ourselves and we found each other.

It's like, oh, my gosh, we are friends.

Like, you can tell.

Like, I see you when I.

When I saw you, I was like, oh, my God, we're going to be friends.

Oh, my gosh.

No, we're 100% going to be friends.

You're like my new favorite.

I'm like, oh, my gosh.

So great.

You know, so I think.

I love that.

But before you leave, I would love to play a little game with you.

Love games.

Okay, good.

Love games.

Good, good.

I'm a gamer.

Okay.

It's called would you host it or ghost it?

Okay, okay.

Okay, I'm ready.

Gosh, I love this.

Okay, here we go.

Number one.

A six course dinner party for picky eaters.

One's keto, one's raw vegan, and the other just doesn't do spices.

Host it or ghost it?

That's my family.

I'm hosting.

Are they really?

Are they?

I don't do spice.

Kid 1.

Every other Thanksgiving will be vegan.

Yep, I'm hosting.

Hosting it.

Okay, nice.

A vision board brunch where everyone ends up crying over sharing and leaving their glue sticks behind.

Host it or ghost it?

Ghost it.

Not your thing?

No.

And I love people being themselves.

I do.

Unless that's a super tight group that, you know, I just always feel bad.

I don't want anyone to leave something.

I want people to leave things being happy.

You come to my.

You come to Lorified.

We're having fun.

I'm here.

You're giving me 40 seconds to a minute of your life.

I want you to walk away smiling and learning something.

That's me, though.

There's plenty of other outlets out there for other feelings.

I want to be a place of happy.

I want to be the happy zone.

So that would.

That.

That scares.

Yeah, that's me.

If I'm being honest.

If I'm being honest and I'm okay with tears, I am But I just.

Just think, oh, it's just a tough.

I think again, yes.

I just said you should be who you should be.

I don't want to host that.

I want to, you know.

Yeah.

Have it be a happy one on one.

I want to do that one on one with people.

Right.

I feel bad when that.

It's hard to watch some of those reality shows.

Yes.

I feel it's so hard.

It's really hard.

And you're just like.

You're.

Your heart's breaking.

Yes.

For these younger girls.

Right.

You're just like, oh, God bless them.

You just want to hug them.

You want to hug them.

So I'd be hugging everybody.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And making him feel bad.

And I'm here for you after, for sure.

Is that awful?

Would you host it or ghost that one?

I would.

I would probably host it, but I would be.

I think I would be affected.

Like, it.

It would make me sad, you know?

But I mean, it's.

It's really hard, right?

It's so hard because it's like.

That's a.

That's a good question.

Right?

Okay.

Okay.

I can't wait to hear what everyone else says.

I know we'll have to make a party.

Wants to host it, but if I'm being honest, I've already got enough crying in my own eyes.

Totally.

Enough glue sticks, being left behind.

Right.

Hosting Thanksgiving and being emotionally available to your relatives and in laws.

Host it or ghost it?

Host it every year.

I host it every year.

Okay.

So in laws are great.

All the relatives, like, everyone's cool.

I thought you just asked if I was emotionally available to everybody.

Totally.

I think that's a different question.

That's a different question.

That's a different.

Do we want to back up and say no?

No, no.

Yeah.

You know, families are family.

And it's so funny to me because it turns out the older you get, the more you realize everyone's got the same crazy family.

We all do.

We all think every family's got it figured out.

All my kids do.

All my kids are always looking to upgrade.

All my kids are looking to upgrade to a different family.

Right.

They don't.

The older they get, they're going to be like, oh, you know what?

We're just like everyone else.

We're our own wacky.

Right.

We talk the same wackiness.

Right.

It's just.

It's whatever your language is in your family.

I host it.

I'm here for it.

Okay.

I'm here for it.

Okay.

Throwing a.

Let's celebrate.

Nothing Party on a random Tuesday with a full grazing table and themed cocktails and playlists.

Oh, I'd host it.

Oh, okay.

I host it.

I love a good party.

Okay.

I'm from a small town in Kansas.

I'm from a college town in Kansas.

Nothing really was going on, so we celebrated everything.

Okay, that's cool.

We celebrated May Day.

Okay, so like Tuesday, Wednesday, whenever.

Yes.

Saturday.

Doesn't matter.

I love it.

There's nothing else going on.

Okay.

Okay.

I love that.

Okay.

And last one, Volunteering to host your kids school fundraiser with all of the things, spreadsheets, wine and some difficult other parents host it or ghost it.

Ghosting.

Okay, that's the one.

That's the one.

You're like.

I've co chaired the galas.

I've been roped into all of that.

Right.

Yeah.

No, no time has been served.

Okay.

Time has been served there and I don't feel guilty about saying no after 32 years.

There's been a lot of.

Yeah.

So I'm good.

You have put your time in, lady.

I know my strengths, sister.

Yes.

I know my strengths and I love other people.

Wonderful.

Wonderful.

Well, Laura, I am so excited that you came here at the iconic midlife.

I cannot wait to share with the world all the amazing tips and hacks and tricks and all of your insight from today.

I wanted to also let everybody know where they can find you.

So where is the best place to find you?

It's Lorified, period, wherever you are.

So L O R A.

Parents gave me that spelling.

It turns out it's an old school spelling.

Like when I was little.

If you ran into an 85 year old Laura, it was spelled like this.

So here I am.

L, O R A F I E D.

And we're everywhere.

I have a website, lorified.com but we're Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Pinterest.

What's Threads?

Threads is the latest one.

Yeah.

Wherever you are, we are.

So whatever is most convenient.

YouTube.

We have a YouTube channel.

So whatever is most convenient for you.

Glorified.

Glorified dot com.

That is wonderful.

You guys definitely follow her.

You'll get the best tips, tricks, hacks for entertaining, home, travel, lifestyle, all the.

Things you are the cutest, Roxy.

Thank you so much.

Laura, you're the best.

Thank you for coming on the iconic middle.

Thanks for having me.

This was a blast, sister.

I can't wait to go to lunch with you.

Yes.

Oh my gosh.

We're going to have all the things.

We have so many plans.

Love it.

Love it.

Thank you.

If you needed permission to stop over hosting, overthinking, and over apologizing for your throw pillows, consider this your sign.

Laura just reminded us that great entertaining isn't about impressing people, it's about connecting with them and midlife.

That's our magic zone.

Make sure you follow the iconic midlife wherever you get your podcasts and head to YouTube tomorrow to watch the full video episode.

And hey, let's keep the party going.

Follow the IconicMidlife and RedCorporoxy on social media for behind the scenes laughs and midlife fire.

Until next time, keep it bold, keep it fun, and keep it iconic.

Thanks.