Foreign welcome to Blank Pages, the podcast.

It's a podcast for people who appreciate the new beginnings of a clean slate, but they strive for the courage, willingness and curiosity and creativity available only on the blank pages of new possibilities.

It's the potential to move beyond and move forward where people are willing to make new decisions from fresh perspectives and are ready to write in a much better way.

The world is waiting, and nothing listens better than a blank piece of paper.

So hello and welcome to the show.

I'm your host, Tim, and I'm so glad that you are here with me today and today day.

I'm excited to talk about we're we're in that season.

You can, you know, some people celebrate different things, but this is a season regardless of what walk of life you're in.

You know, if you just do a Google search, the most celebrated time of the year is this time of the year.

When do people give the most gifts, do more celebrating and partying and stuff like that?

Well, I would say the World cup is close to that, too, but it is during this holiday season, this time of Christmas, this is when you see most of it.

So I'm not sure what you celebrate and what you do.

And I'm sensitive to everybody's walk of life and what they do.

But I'm just talking about the topic I'm going to talk about today is because we're in this season, when people are buying and giving gifts, that's what's happening.

No matter where you are in the world, this is what's happening.

So I'm not dancing around anything.

I'm just flat out saying this is what it is.

So I'm going to talk about gifts and giving.

Right?

So before I do that, though, I want to say thank you for those of you who have subscribed to the show, who listen to the show, and I appreciate those of you who give me feedback on a regular basis.

Thank you so much for that.

But if you're on Apple Podcasts, you're listening right now.

Spotify Podcast, Amazon Music substack let's see, Odyssey Audible, if you're listening right now and any one of those on any one of those platforms, go ahead and follow the show and please share the show with other folks.

I promise you that I literally just talk about things that hopefully are going to give you some inspiration, some motivation, some encouragement that I will be able to speak inspirationally to your aspirational identity.

I believe in sharing things that have shelf life, that you could always go back and listen to an episode and pull off something that is just going to help you with those things that people like to call soft skills in life, relational things in life, your emotional intelligence, however you want to view it, okay, but that's what I do.

I try to put that type of stuff into the world that you're able to go back and listen back through to and hopefully bring it into your world or share it with other people.

So to make a difference.

I'm also excited about the launch of the community.

Man, I'm so excited.

2025 is right around the corner.

So if you're interested and you want to be a part of a community that is going to spend the next year 20 going through some frameworks that are gonna help you change your life.

It's called Lift for your life is not the community name, but the framework I use is Create lift for your life.

And we go through a way.

It's a tool, it's a framework that I have developed over years that will help you pick anything in your life, any area of your life.

You wanna improve your relationships, you can use this, you wanna improve your business, you can use this.

You wanna work on your money, you can use this, you wanna work on.

I mean, you name it.

Your.

So I like to look at five key areas of our life.

Emotional, mental, mental, physical, spiritual and financial.

Those are fitness areas that you can work on.

So in this community, it's so easy for you to get involved.

And if you're interested, it's not too late to get started to jump in.

We're in the beginning stages where people are choosing their word for the year.

So we really roll it out hot and heavy on January 1st of 2025.

But also people, now you're not too late.

Say you miss it.

You're listening to this epis and you're going, oh my gosh, we're already in January.

Don't worry about it.

The way it's set up is you can join in and then the people in the community will help you along as you go.

So there are replays and things that will.

Whenever I do any video and we do any engagement, any of the sessions will be put in there, you're able to jump right back in or jump in and get caught up and also work on your own.

And you don't have to be glued to a screen and glued to your phone.

The cool part is, is no matter what you pull up, whether it is computer or on your phone, your personal device, everything is in an app.

You don't have to jump around to this thing, to an email, to a text message, to all this stuff.

It's all in one location, always updated.

No, ridiculous.

Oh, this needs to be updated.

That needs to be updated.

Everything is in one location.

The videos, the material, the community, the chats, everything.

And the other part is, is there are no noise makers in there.

Meaning people aren't trying to hustle you, sell you things.

These are people that are all working on their own st own things.

And they're trying to get better at being human themselves, trying to bring change and transformation into their life.

So if you're that person and you're interested, it's very simple.

Go to a browser on, you know, on your phone or on your computer and Simply type in theuphill.community that's it.

T H E U P H I L L dot Uphill community.

And it's simple.

Read through it, click on the link and you can get in.

You can join monthly or you can go ahead and just pay annually.

Now there's big savings.

It's $48 a month, I believe to be in the community.

But if you choose the One Time Payment Annual, you click it, it's $100 off of the what it would be the sum, the sum total for annual.

So you get $100 off if you just go ahead and take care of it, knock it out of the way so you're not doing these monthly things.

So anyways, I'm looking forward to those who will be in there and those who come along as we keep moving because we will constantly be inviting new members in to be a part of the uphill community.

So life to me is better in community and the folks that are in there will tell you the same.

We are enjoying our time together and so we're looking forward to any that join for the new year and are ready to get going as we continue to grow.

This group also just want to say again a big thank you for all of those who have purchased my book Flit Learns to Fly.

It's my kids book.

You can go to Amazon, it's easy to find or you can go to Bookbaby, you can find it there.

But just look for Flit Learns to Fly.

It's a great little book.

It's about this little bird, Flit, who has a little adventure finding his friends as he learns to fly and learns about himself.

Illustrated by a wonderful young artist who I met through our son who gets to.

He has her in the youth ministry and she's a phenomenal illustrator.

Her name is Jade Harmon.

And so, anyways, thank you for those who have purchased the book, and I appreciate all of you for doing so.

And hopefully that book will touch a heart, hopefully touch yours.

So it's not a.

It may be a kid's book, but let me tell you, a lot of adults need what is in that book.

And that is my job.

I my job.

I am employed because we all need to get better.

And so my life as a personal, a person that deals with personal development and growth and leadership development and growth and team development and growth and organizational health, doing those types of things every single day, I just see the value of going to read a kid's book, children's book.

Children's books are still relevant for adults today.

So some people are out there going, yes, I agree.

Anyways, so today's topic of gifts and giving, and the reason I'm bringing it up is because I had a conversation recently with someone and they're just struggling about just the fact of just giving gifts.

And even when it came to employees and giving bonuses and feeling like, you know, I don't want it to feel obligatory, but at the same time, I don't want to give something to someone who doesn't deserve it.

And so in my mind, I'm thinking, wow, you know, if that's what's on your mind, you probably shouldn't give the gift because you only want to give a gift if you intend to give it and you want to give it.

And it just made me start thinking about, we're in this time of the year and people are just buying gifts.

People are buying so many gifts, and they're doing it for so many reasons.

And sometimes they're buying and they're buying a gift for someone because they expect a gift in return, or they expect to match that gift, or they feel like their gift's not going to be good enough and just, oh, the chaos around gifts.

And so for me as a believer, I use the principles I have as a believer, and I'm a Christian.

So knowing that this season is all about me, the reason for the season is the fact that God sent his Son to be the Savior for us all, the Messiah, the Christ.

And he is our gift.

He came to us, Emmanuel, God with us.

And he was sent to this earth for the purpose of reconciling all of us to him, to Himself, our Creator, to reconcile us back to Him.

So I'm not going to get into all of that, but I'm going to say that is the reason.

So that is the Greatest gift.

When I think of my kids, if I know that I was sending my kids to atone for or to be the reason to reconcile people back to a better life or to just their life being whole and made well, and I.

And my son or my daughter was sent one of my sons to do that reconciliation, I mean, that's my.

That's so much of my heart, you know?

And so when you think about that, most people view their kids as.

As.

As a.

As irreplaceable.

They're.

They're a blessing.

And I mean, there's no amount of money you would trade them for in the world.

And so to give one of your kids to something is, to me, extravagant giving.

And that's how I view this season or any time that you're going to give a gift.

So if you don't celebrate the season, that's fine.

If you don't celebrate Christmas, you do Hanukkah.

If you don't do any of those, you do something else, whatever it is.

If you ever give a gift, if you're giving a bonus, if you're giving just a gift, a birthday gift, if you're giving an anniversary g.

Valentine's gift, just any kind of friend gift, you're doing anything that's considered a gift.

I just want to talk about gifts, but since we're in this time, I'm going to give you a couple of areas.

So I'm going to give you.

I'm going to talk briefly about gifts and giving for friends and family, gifts and giving for employees and co workers, and then gifts and giving for.

Just to those in need and to people you don't know.

Strangers.

Okay?

Because I believe in all of those areas, those three categories.

Friends and family, employees and co workers.

This is where we do most of our life and time, and then what's around us, there's more people we don't know than we do know.

Those in need and those we don't know.

Strangers.

Okay?

So here we go.

I'm not gonna take a whole lot of time on this.

I just want you to look at how you give your gifts.

And so for me, this is kind of how I do it.

And I'm hoping I can inspire you to look at how you do gift giving and even free yourself from obligation.

Free yourself from feeling like it's not good enough.

Free yourself from, you know, feeling like you have to have a certain thing in order for it to be good.

You know, like, I want you to be free and I want you to be able to Use some of these principles to help yourself.

Okay, so here we go.

Friends and family.

When it comes to gift giving for friends and family, here are three things that I like to consider.

I focus more on experiences rather than on the material thing.

Okay?

I focus on an experience if I can, in giving a gift more so than, you know, than the material item.

So I say, what experience can I give more so than a material item?

So an example would be if I could get you this, I don't know, this shirt and that you love this T shirt or whatever.

I mean, that's great.

Now if it's a T shirt tied to an experience, that makes the memory, then awesome.

So let's just say a friend of mine that we went to a conference together and in that conference we learned something.

And that learning that.

That we learned something that was life changing.

And there was something that was said there that we both now have that resonates between the two of us.

And he and I, when we talk, we know that when we say that word, it means something and where it goes and what it.

What it provokes within us and the memories that it has.

And then I see a shirt with that word on it and I buy that.

So now the material item has value because it's focused and it has a.

It has an idea.

It's around an experience.

And so even if it's not a material thing, so there is no T shirt.

What if I could get them because of that thing that we both have shared that I could even say, here, I'm going to get you something to go do that again.

Here's another.

Here's a ticket.

I'm going to buy your ticket to another conference just like that.

Not hoping it would be exactly the same, but it's building upon that.

So what can you do that either brings.

If it's a material thing that it brings in the lasting memory or builds on a memory, or it's something that, you know, if it's not material, that you can take something that you already know about about them, something that's special, something that is there because you pay attention, you know the person you're buying for and then you.

You get them that thing.

Okay, Another one is what if you made something, what if you painted something?

If you're an artist, what if you wrote something?

You know, personalized things and items, man, they show thoughtfulness.

If you're a songwriter, write a song for someone that'll make a person feel so special.

If you know if you're right, if you write, write if you paint, paint, if it's your craftsman, make something, you know, and if you're not a craftsman or whatever, what if you just went and you went to a clay cafe, maybe you did it together.

So you go to a color clay cafe or something like that, where you sit down, you do pottery, and you actually go through the process of making something for someone.

Or it could just be a meal for the friends and family.

Maybe they're always cooking for you and you're just going to cook for them, okay?

So show some thoughtfulness and the effort around the thing.

Because when you make things for people, man, that does something.

The other thing that I want to say for friends and family as an alternative beyond just buying something, Remember, if you're going to buy something, make sure you know who you're purchasing for and the reason you're purchasing it, right?

So don't just buy things that you like for people.

Don't just buy things because you think it would be cool.

You want to buy with a person in mind.

And I get on a soapbox with this because I hate if somebody gives me a gift and they give me a gift receipt with the gift.

Because now if it's something they know that I like, but they don't know if it's the right size.

Okay, I get it.

But if they're buying me something because they're just getting something and they don't really know me, but they just want to give me something, and here's a gift seat just in case you don't like it.

It just makes me think, man, could you have been a little bit more inquisitive?

Could you maybe have investigated a little bit more?

Could you have tapped somebody in the shoulder that knows me and said, hey, could you have called them?

Could you have emailed them?

Could you said, hey, hey, I just want to know this about Tim.

I mean, put some effort back to the effort part.

Take a little time so you don't have to give a gift receipt.

And look, if all else fails and you really want to give something material, then buy a gift card if you don't have the time.

But don't give things with a return already built into it.

You know, people can reject the gift, but don't come prepared for it to be rejected.

That's just a better way to look at it.

So the other part is, I would say in gift giving season and time is, you know, and I just added that a little extra and there was a little sidebar.

But prioritize quality time together over an Expensive presentation.

So if you can just dedicate, like make a little coupon book of if you have a kid, I'm gonna spend this much time with you.

Like make like, you know, do one for each month and time together coupons that your kid can walk up and hand to you and you need to redeem them.

Now remember, it's very important for you to understand that you can't just give it to them and then.

Oh, I didn't mean that.

Like, you really need to make sure that you mean what you say when you give the gift.

Okay, so here's another one.

This is another category.

So that's friends and family.

Here's some ideas for employees and coworkers.

Things that I like to use.

So I opt in for group gifts that will foster team camaraderie to avoid any type of favoritism.

So like a group meal or something that they all can experience together.

We go bowling or we go do this activity or that activity.

Just choose things where it can pull people together, build community and camaraderie.

The second thing that I would promote or to encourage you to do is choose some practical work related items that enhance that recipient's professional life, right?

So if I could help them in the work that they're doing.

So if they're a barber, right?

I got friends that do barber, you know, they're barbers and men, they're artists, they're great.

So for me, I would if I knew that, you know, I'm in there if they were trimming up my beard or finishing me up or I was having a conversation with them and maybe they were talking about, you know, man, they keep, you know, they, I don't know, maybe they've damaged their great clippers and man, they're not doing so hot right now and their clientele is a little low.

And so maybe I buy them those clippers, right?

That's the kind of thing that I would do.

If it's a friend, whatever.

But if it's a co worker, I would do the same thing.

Or if they worked for me in my barber shop, I would do the same thing.

I'd get them some shears.

Maybe I'd get them a new bag for their stuff or a new, a new case to carry all their things.

Maybe they're carrying their things in some sort of bag and they, you know, they're always missing something or something's falling out of it.

You know, you can do things like that to help people be better at the job that they're doing.

So think of practical ways of doing stuff, helping people to be better.

Maybe if it's a person that, you know, they come to work and they've got eight bags and they're all small because they don't have enough bag to put all things in.

So maybe what you do is you buy an employee a bag that can carry all their stuff, a backpack that'll hold their water bottle and it comes with a lunch kit in it.

Things like that just help them.

The third thing that I would consider with employees and co workers is, you know, consider alternatives like organize like a team building activity or doing a volunteer activity together, right?

And so here's what we're going to do as a gift.

We're going to.

I'm going to buy everybody lunch or we're going to buy a dinner.

We're going to do this activity together, we're going to go volunteer and then what we're going to do, we're going to give a gift from all of us of our volunteering.

But then we're going to have a meal together.

And we're not only going to have a meal, but we're going to have a meal with these folks that we have done this work with, where we did this volunteering, you know, so those are other gifts that you can give as well.

Now I know that's not popular.

I know people are going to go, I don't want that.

I would rather have money.

See, that's because we're in a society where what we've done is we've done so much giving.

We think it takes giving to please people, that you have to give in order to keep people.

Well, I think to myself, well, I'm wondering who you're hiring.

I'm wondering what type of culture you have in your business that if the people that you have in your business, the only thing that can satisfy them is you giving them money or stuff.

Because when you hire someone, you should first know that you're aligned with them, that your values are there, that you do that type of interviewing because you want to know who you're bringing into the community, who are you bringing into that business, who's bring coming into the culture.

And if you haven't done that, I encourage you to take some time to know what kind of culture you have.

It's okay for a person to prefer money, but I don't want people that turn the gift giving into an obligatory activity that it's something that has to be done, it's something that is expected, it's kind of like this for me.

And I did the service industry.

I washed dishes in a restaurant.

I was a prep cook and then I cooked and I waited tables.

But the one thing I never did was take a tip from somebody.

And yes, there were many cheap people.

Unfortunately, the service industry has had to resort to that because people won't tip, is taking it.

But it's no longer gratuity anymore when you take it.

You're making it a fee.

It's a service fee, not a gratuity.

A gratuity to me is what I give because of the quality of service.

Now hear me again.

I know that people don't pay attention and they don't give anymore.

And people are like that.

And I get it.

And I'm so sorry that if you've experienced that in your life, but it's not everybody.

So when you are thinking about the people that you're bringing into your world and that you're hiring, you still want to work on those types of individuals.

You want to be properly aligned.

You don't want people that are takers and don't understand giving because if they only take and they don't understand giving, it's going to be very difficult when it comes time for them to subjugate their own needs for the needs of the team, which ultimately will contribute to a dysfunction in your organization.

That's a whole nother topic.

So that's employees and co workers.

Now this is one of my favorite areas to those in need and people you don't know.

Strangers, that is the biggest people group around you.

People you don't know.

Everywhere you turn, there is someone you don't know.

There are someone 100ft from you that you don't know.

When you're in a store, you don't know.

When you're in the grocery store shopping and buying groceries, you don't know.

You don't know.

When you every time you get out of your car at your favorite place that you like to go, you don't know you're going down the road passing people you don't know.

This is every single day, thousands and thousands of people that you don't know.

Thousands and thousands of opportunities to be a gift giver.

So here's how you can put it in a practical way, in a manageable way to do it.

Number one, you can donate to reputable charities that align with the recipient's values.

Right?

So what are some charities that would align with some values?

Or actually you, the giver, what can you do?

What aligns with your values?

And even for their values.

Right.

So you can donate to reputable charities to just people that are around you.

And then also you can donate to charities that are going to help and care for people that you don't know.

And the stranger.

So the person who's been put out of their house or evicted, and it may not be because they have substance abuse issues or they're just making very poor decisions.

You know, things happen.

Bad things happen to very good people.

And so donating to reputable charities can be a good thing.

Second is you can provide essential items or services that address immediate needs for people.

You know, you could literally pay attention in the grocery store and see someone looking at their groceries and trying to figure out what to get.

And you literally can see that they're going through that process.

And before they put things back and listen, they can reject it, but you can offer to get it for them.

You could even if they put it aside, checked out and went outside, you can say, all those items, I want them, pay for those items, have them put into a bag, run outside and find the individual and hand them to them.

These are things that are simple and practical to do.

You can be a person that look at all the excess you have in your own pantry in your home and gather that excess up and take it to a shelter.

You can get food, clothing that you have and take it to somewhere and not try to get money.

Don't just try to make money off it, off of Facebook, marketplace or on ebay.

Yeah, you can do that if you want to, but sometimes you can just give a gift.

You can just give it away and stop trying to monetize it.

And then you can offer your skills and expertise in helping meaningful ways beyond your material gifts.

You know, I'm a coach and I work with folks all the time.

And you know, and I can.

I get paid well to do my job because I do a good job, you know, and I spend the time and I invest and I become a student of my clients and I learn.

And then where, maybe there are areas where I struggle and maybe I'm not doing well, I invest to get better in those areas so I can continue to earn well.

But then there are people who can never pay for what I do.

And you know, what I do, I do it for them anyway, even though they can't return it.

And that is something I want to say to you.

It's real easy to give gifts to people who can give me something in return.

The best gifts, the best serving, the best help, the best love the best care is doing that for people who can't give it back to you the same way and aren't in a position to do so.

That's when you know that you are giving from a place that I believe is healthy and pure.

So I want to give you a couple of guiding and steering principles that I use.

And I don't know how you know how you'll look at these, but these are two things, or actually three that I'll use that are for me.

They're biblical and that's how I put them to work.

So it's the principle for me that it's better to give than it is to receive.

So we need to be giving.

To me, giving is living.

When you give, the more you give, the better it is in life.

And you stop living this life of running around with your hand out wondering what's coming to you, you'll even do business different.

If you're a person who's an entrepreneur, you're out there.

It's not going to be, how much are you willing to give me for what I do.

It's going to be, what am I willing to do?

And give.

And you come in that way first.

This is what I want to put into this company.

This is what I want to do.

Not showing up in what are you going to give me?

There are too many people now that come.

How many days off do I get?

What do I get here and what do I get?

It's all about give, give, give, give me, give me, give me.

We have a government that throws money out the window to people.

We have a government that enables people to just live, however, like to live recklessly without thinking about, you know, what it is that they need to do to improve their life.

I believe in helping and I believe in assistance, but I don't believe it's the job of anyone to just put people in a spot to where they don't understand what they need to do.

They need to learn the principle of showing up and investing and doing the hard work.

So here's a principle that I like to give and everything.

And this is in the book of Acts 20:35.

In everything it says, I showed you that by working hard in this manner, you must help the weak.

And remember the words of the Lord Jesus himself.

And this is what he said.

It is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

This is coming from the one who gave himself.

And so I love to look at that, that there are people out there and I need to remember them, that it's better for me to think about what I can do to give to them.

So when I'm working with people who don't have the ability to repay me, in other words, or to compensate me for my time, that it's more blessed to give to them than it is for them to be able to pay me.

And I see that time and time again that it has never failed that when I give and I give because I know the value of that gift and giving to someone who cannot repay me, that is so much better than if they could.

Now, does that mean I don't want people to pay me for the work that I do?

Absolutely not.

That's foolishness.

This.

What I'm saying is I wake up every day and I do what I do.

And here's the thing.

I do it because I love it.

I do it because it's what I'm called to do.

I do it because I know that it can help people change and transform their lives for the better.

Oh, and I get paid.

So because I do it because it's my calling, I'm not stuck on the paid part.

I pay attention to it, but I'm not stuck in it.

The other thing about giving that I try to do is I try to use a no strings attached.

I don't give.

What you give is what you give.

It's because you choose.

I want you to give because you choose to give.

I want you to choose because if you say that you love and you care about people, the gift that you give is because you love and you care, not because I expect you should give this back to me.

It's no strings attached.

It's you don't hold it over their head.

You don't dangle things over people's heads.

So give with no strings attached.

So this is a proverb 19:17.

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deeds.

So the thing is, I give to whoever, and even if it's not poor, even if the person has the ability, my gift comes with no strings attached.

And if you want to respond, you can, but if you don't, that's it doesn't matter.

It's okay.

So the first one is it's better to give than receive.

The second is to give with no strings attached.

And the last one is this.

Always give thoughtfully with the receiver in mind.

So the thing that I want you to remember is that again, imagine the person you're giving the gift to, who is that person, and you give with them in mind, knowing that, that this is about them.

I'm thinking of them and I know it's their need.

It's not me missing the mark and just showing up with a gift just because I have to be thoughtful in your gift.

So if you're going to give a gift, if you're going to give anything, give with them in mind.

So that's it.

It's three simple things.

I gave you three areas.

It's for friends and family, employees, co workers to those in need, and people you don't know, strangers.

But if you're going to give, always remember it's better to give than it is to receive.

Give with no strings attached, and always give thoughtfully with the receiver in mind.

What goes through my mind is another scripture, John 3:17.

But if anyone has the world's good in goods and sees that he has a brother or sister in need, yet closes his heart against them, how does God's love abide in them?

So it says, little children, let us not love in word or talk, but let's do it in deed and in truth.

So think of them.

Think of who you're giving for, whether it's a pair of socks.

Don't buy the socks you like.

Think of them.

A shirt, an activity, an experience.

Have them in mind, not yourself.

And what you think.

If you don't know, ask somebody.

But hey, this is the season.

Know the reason for your giving.

Celebrate it, be present.

And most importantly, the best gift you can give is the gift of your presence.

So Merry Christmas and until next time, we'll talk soon.