[00:00:00] Henry: Hey, uh, let me get that for you, Lisa.

[00:00:04] Lisa: Aw, thanks Henny. That's sweet.

[00:00:05] Henry: Least I could do. I saw how you diligently whipped up that lychee buttercream today. Those arms need a break.

[00:00:11] Kevin: I'm putting 50 bucks on a May wedding at Terrace on the Park.

[00:00:14] Angela: Okay. Who knew this was here? I for sure thought that tonight was gonna be a pizza night or a hogie night.

[00:00:19] Kevin: Yeah. Believe it or not, Michelin Stars would be thriving on Staten Island.

[00:00:22] Henry: I know you gotta keep your girl happy, Kev. But couldn't you have picked up more convenient spot for dinner?

[00:00:27] Henry: Hey.

[00:00:27] Kevin: I didn't pick the restaurant this week, but just on the record, I think it's an easy trip. Visiting Monica on the ferry? Not a problem. To me, it's the constant noise from my parents asking if I'm ever moving back. That's what gets me.

[00:00:39] DTF Army: Oh my God. Is that Brian? Definitely. So much taller.

[00:00:43] Kevin: Whoa. What's with the welcome wagon?

[00:00:44] DTF Army: Oh my God.

[00:00:45] Brian: Hey guys.

[00:00:45] DTF Army: Oh my God. Just one second. Can I get a picture with you? Sorry, can I?

[00:00:47] Brian: Sure. Um, just say get off my dick pics.

[00:00:51] DTF Army: Get off my dick pic. Thank you so much.

[00:00:55] Kevin: What was that?

[00:00:55] DTF Army: Thank you so much.

[00:00:56] Brian: What was what?

[00:00:57] Brian: Oh, this. It's a finger heart.

[00:00:59] Kevin: No, not that. The other gesture. The one with index and pinky finger. Like this. The one that you put by your crotch.

[00:01:07] Brian: Oh, that. It's my DTF hand signal.

[00:01:10] Angela: I'm sorry, what?

[00:01:12] Brian: They gave my campaign a hand sign.

[00:01:14] Lisa: Oh my God. Oh my. Oh my God. Ah. DTF gave you your own hand sign.

[00:01:18] Brian: Yeah. They've been super supportive of me. I'm so grateful.

[00:01:23] Lisa: Did you get to meet them? What are they like in real life?

[00:01:26] Henry: Wait, are you talking about the K-Pop group? DTF

[00:01:28] Lisa: Oh, the Ever Relevant and Youthfully Radiant six piece Boy band of International chart toppers who are straight from Soul, DTF !

[00:01:37] Brian: Oh. They're so down to earth and their skin is poreless. They gave me a few tips. Actually. They abide by a strict 15 step regimen and a tri-annual jelly skin Botox treatment. Yeah. But the most important tip for that K-pop glow is--

[00:01:56] Lisa: Wow. Is that legal?

[00:01:58] Henry: How in the world did you get to meet them?

[00:02:01] Brian: Oh, it's a long story, but they also received my d*** pic.

[00:02:05] Angela: Did you start dating a member of DTF?

[00:02:08] Kevin: I always knew you contained multitudes, Brian?

[00:02:11] Brian: No, I mean, I'm not dating any members of DTF. They just helped me resolve my revenge porn fiasco.

[00:02:18] Henry: You mean the d*** pic debacle? Yeah. Who could forget that?

[00:02:23] Lisa: Yeah. I don't think anyone at this table will ever be able to unsee that photo.

[00:02:27] Kevin: It was a very well-composed image.

[00:02:28] Angela: Quite nice.

[00:02:30] Henry: So you've figured out who sent it, right?

[00:02:32] Kevin: Yeah. Did you give them a cease and desist?

[00:02:34] Henry: Did DTF ask you to join their outfit?

[00:02:36] Sanjay: Brian, if you need a manager or some branding deals, I'm actually available.

[00:02:39] Sanjay: Only prereq is access to a working MacBook Pro.

[00:02:43] Brian: No, sadly, I'm not joining DTF. No one asked. I'm actually a pretty good singer if I say so myself. But uh, yeah, I did eventually figure out who was behind the sinister ploy. But it took a lot of detective work.

[00:02:59] Brian: No, no, no, no, no, no. What the f***? What the f***?

[00:03:02] Brian: Then, I went through my phone. Because the first thing to do when you're being revenge porned is to determine the source of the threat, which admittedly was, uh, kind of difficult because I'd sent the same picture to several people. I harnessed my wise mind. This photo had to come from someone who was alone with my phone.

[00:03:24] Brian: They had targeted all of my close friends. So they must have been alone with my device for some significant portion of time. I racked my brain replaying previous encounters in my mind.

[00:03:40] Brian: I just need a second to warm up my voice.

[00:03:43] Brian: The first one was inside a karaoke booth in Koreatown Town.

[00:03:55] Brian: The second recipient I met at a gym in Brooklyn where she taught clown class.

[00:04:00] Erin: Climb on up, Brian.

[00:04:02] Brian: Okay. Woo.

[00:04:03] Erin: You got this.

[00:04:04] Brian: I'm just sending one more email.

[00:04:08] Brian: You could see all of Queens. What the. Is that Manhattan?

[00:04:11] Erin: You look so good, Brian. Keep going.

[00:04:13] Brian: It couldn't be her either. We were too far off the ground. And then I remember that night. Come on, come on, come on. Bodega Blue pill. Doesn't this work any faster? Ah, I should have shelled out for the brand name.

[00:04:32] Claire: Okay. Everything okay in there?

[00:04:35] Brian: Yeah, no worries. I'll be out in just a sec. I mean, sec. f***.

[00:04:40] Claire: Is it okay if I change the music?

[00:04:44] Brian: Yeah, sure. Whatever you want.

[00:04:47] Claire: You could have shared, you know. What's this minor legends group chat? Okay. We've got, um, Angela, Henry, Lisa, Henry's manager, Kevin. Hmm?

[00:05:08] Claire: Are you okay?

[00:05:10] Brian: Yeah,

[00:05:14] Brian: it's not working. I'm sorry.

[00:05:17] Claire: Okay, that's fine. But like what about me? We can do other stuff.

[00:05:25] Brian: I don't know. I'm not really feeling it. I think I just need to be alone.

[00:05:30] Claire: Are you kicking me out?

[00:05:33] Brian: I mean, not technically. But like it'd make me feel a lot better if you just left.

[00:05:39] Claire: I mean, I did all the things you asked me to.

[00:05:41] Claire: I know I've made it seem like I do this all the time, but I don't. I invested a lot of time and effort for this date. I used my PTO for this paid time off. You owe me money.

[00:05:53] Brian: Look, I feel really bad, but I just can't deal with this right now.

[00:05:58] Claire: Well, what about my time and feelings?

[00:06:00] Brian: I don't know. This is all a lot and I just need you to go away. Like now.

[00:06:07] Claire: Okay, by the way, you've got blue sh** all over your face.

[00:06:13] Henry: Boom. There it is, dude. Looking through someone's computer. Red flag.

[00:06:20] Sanjay: Also. Red flag. I'm in your phone is Henry's manager. Am I all just business to you?

[00:06:25] Everyone: Yes. Yes.

[00:06:26] Sanjay: Jesus Krishna. Okay.

[00:06:28] Lisa: Yo. But that must be her though, right? The Dick Pick Revenge porn-er.

[00:06:32] Brian: Her name is Claire.

[00:06:33] Kevin: Did you ask about it nicely in a non-confrontational way?

[00:06:36] Sanjay: What was he supposed to say? Hey, can you stop sending my d*** pics around? Yeah.

[00:06:42] Brian: Basically, you know, I texted her, um, saying I'd been thinking about what happened and I think it'd be great if we met up so I could formally apologize.

[00:06:54] Brian: And she agreed. We set a date and we planned to meet at the coffee place near my house at 10:00 AM Look, I, I know I seem super confident and emotionally mature about all of this, but, guys, confrontation is seriously not a strength of mine.

[00:07:14] Brian: So, uh, recently my friends got sent a bunch a...

[00:07:18] Brian: so, um, I know I sent this one...

[00:07:27] Brian: oh sh**. What time is it? No!!!

[00:07:32] Brian: It was 1150. I, I rushed to get dressed, but everything in my closet was just put away so haphazardly I couldn't, I could not find anything reckless. I ran down the block towards the coffee place when I noticed something flapping in the wind. There was a dick pic taped to a telephone pole and below it was a message.

[00:07:50] Brian: "If you receive this dick pic, it is non-functional. The person attached to this dick is a time-wasting superficial scumbag who takes advantage of hopeful, open-minded women looking for a good time. AKA not feminist?"

[00:08:11] Brian: I tore it down immediately. The more I ran, the more posters came into view. Each one a bigger, meaner, more prominent picture of my dick with the same damning message underneath.

[00:08:27] Brian: What the f***???

[00:08:30] Brian: Then, I arrived at the shop. The exterior was covered in posters, arranged into the letters D-I-C-K.

[00:08:41] Brian: Hi. Hello. Um, has anyone, uh, seen my, uh, my ex-girlfriend?

[00:08:49] Barista: What does she look like?

[00:08:51] Brian: She, uh, has a lot of posters.

[00:08:55] Barista: Nope, sorry. But for what it's worth great composition.

[00:09:02] Brian: I began my long walk home. It was plenty of time to think about what I wanted to say to her. Hey, no.

[00:09:14] Brian: Hey, um, I was at the coffee shop. Saw that crazy art project out front. LOL?

[00:09:23] Brian: No, no. Hey, I was at the coffee shop. Please don't put up any more posters. I totally get you're upset and I'm sorry I was late, but I want to make this right.

[00:09:37] Brian: And then I got a text. It was a screenshot of her texting my mom.

[00:09:46] Claire: Your son's been harassing me with d*** pics, baiting me to go on a date with him.

[00:09:51] Claire: It was a total waste of my time and disrespectful. I am a very well-behaved, successful churchgoing Korean woman. If he doesn't make this up to me, I will send this picture to all of the med school admissions committees pending his applications. P.S. he's impotent.

[00:10:10] Brian: And at the bottom of the image, I could see that under the screenshot on my mom's side of the screen, there was a read receipt.

[00:10:19] Claire: Never stand me up again.

[00:10:22] Henry: Dick picks flapping in the wind. More like f****** in the wind, right?

[00:10:27] Lisa: This isn't funny, Henny, this girl was torturing him, but just so you know, B, you don't snort Viagra.

[00:10:33] Angela: This is revenge porn. This is so, so illegal. Did you talk to a lawyer?

[00:10:38] Brian: I did one better. I consulted with the one person who always knows what to do.

[00:10:43] Brian: My Umma. I went straight to her house and of course my kiss ass holier than thou surgeon cousin Sean was there as if things couldn't get any worse. I was sure my mom was going to kill me, but then--

[00:11:01] Yoojin: --it's actually not a bad photo.

[00:11:05] Sean: What do you mean, 이모? This is a picture of Brian's, you know, genitals. Shouldn't you be shaming him for something like this?

[00:11:13] Yoojin: As much as I'd like to shame him, I see things are different now. Especially in America. Hmm. And I want him to get married and have a grandchildren. Hmm. He's already 30. He doesn't have much time to waste. Maybe this makes it more straightforward. I'm not one for bragging, but this is a very impressive photo and I can see how it would work to your favor.

[00:11:42] Yoojin: But Brian. It doesn't look like you've been using the SK II I sent you. The bottle is a full to the top and are you really impotent? 'cause there's a soup for that. Brian, please tell Umma.

[00:12:00] Brian: Mom, please. I'm not here for dating advice. I'm here for legal advice.

[00:12:05] Sean: Listen to your son being so indignant 이모. I'm sorry for his behavior.

[00:12:10] Brian: What's your problem, Sean? What this girl is doing is ruining my life.

[00:12:14] Sean: Okay, let me see that this is her. What kind of a handle is be bibimbaybee?

[00:12:19] Yoojin: Maybe she's just upset for you wasting her time, Brian. I also get upset when I think about the fact that our only male heir has yet to pass down the family name.

[00:12:32] Brian: Would you rather me have a child with a complete emotional terrorist than be single?

[00:12:37] Yoojin: Um, well.

[00:12:37] Brian: Don't answer that. Mom. I need a lawyer.

[00:12:42] Sean: Always disappointing your poor mom, aren't you, Brian? She didn't immigrate just for her son to be single.

[00:12:47] Yoojin: Brian, lawyers are designed to just draw money out of people and make things painful. No one has any sex after lawyer gets involved. The impotence problem gets worse.

[00:13:01] Sean: Exactly. That would bring so much shame.

[00:13:04] Brian: There's no shame in having ED, and I'm not impotent. I'm just anxious.

[00:13:09] Yoojin: But if we need a lawyer. We can always call your cousin Dae-Sung

[00:13:15] Sean: Dae-Sung?

[00:13:15] Yoojin: Yes. Dae-Sung! He's so smart and talented, looks so good in a suit, has three black Teslas and not the cheap kinds. Mm-hmm. He's so good to us. I'm sure he would represent you in a heartbeat.

[00:13:31] Sean: I mean. Dae-Sung isn't the only smart one in this family. I probably know someone who can help Brian, 이모 a friend or something.

[00:13:39] Yoojin: Yes, thank you Sean. You are always trying your best for me and Dae-Sung. Time is too precious. Mm-hmm. But you're right. Maybe first I can help Brian somehow.

[00:13:54] Brian: I don't understand?

[00:13:55] Yoojin: Brian, Umma knows best. Right. Maybe I should go with you next time to talk to this girl, woman. She sounds like she's just hurt. Maybe I can explain to her your nervous energy, how unsuccessful you've been before the lottery and how there's nothing for her to pursue here.

[00:14:17] Brian: That's not gonna be very--

[00:14:18] Sean: --that sounds like a great idea, 이모.

[00:14:20] Yoojin: Thank you, Sean. I think so too, now. We just need a place to meet. Brian, can you--

[00:14:27] Sean: --how's Union Square Cafe this Wednesday at two? Hey Brian, this isn't Seamless. You need a down payment to reserve on Resy.

[00:14:37] Yoojin: I've always wanted to eat there when I'm in town !

[00:14:40] Sean: And I remembered this will be my treat to you and Brian.

[00:14:44] Sean: I'm messaging bibimbaybee right now.

[00:14:46] Brian: How'd you get her number?

[00:14:47] Sean: Looked her up on Instagram. Doesn't take a genius. Bri.

[00:14:51] Sean: Hey, this is Sean. Brian's very successful cousin. You want to work things out. Meet with us at Union Square Cafe Wednesday at two to talk things through. No more d*** pics, please, Sean.

[00:15:03] Claire: Don't be late this time. Would hate to have to chat with the admissions people about Brian's chronic inability to be present.

[00:15:10] Henry: Damn. Didn't know the K rage is activated when the girls don't get that good D.

[00:15:14] Angela: Yes, her behavior has been appalling.

[00:15:16] Lisa: But wow. Bri, your mom has been super supportive of you lately, even more than Sean for once. That must have felt good.

[00:15:23] Brian: No. Yeah, and it felt good knowing he was also falling out of favor a little bit. I mean, to me, the least traditionally successful kid of the family, it felt really, really good.

[00:15:39] Yoojin: Hmm. Union Square has a very soothing decoration. Stop it, Brian. Don't shake. bibimbaybee will be here any minute.

[00:15:49] Brian: That's not her name.

[00:15:50] Yoojin: Brian, would you share the hamaci crudo with me?

[00:15:54] Brian: She's here.

[00:15:55] Claire: Oh, 어머니! 건강해 보이네요.. I wasn't expecting you, Brian, your more successful cousin, Sean, said he'd be here, but you are here instead.

[00:16:07] Yoojin: 어머나, you speak great Korean.

[00:16:10] Claire: Yeah, I know. I picked up a few things watching Squid game. So where's Sean?

[00:16:15] Yoojin: He's not coming. I'm here instead now.

[00:16:20] Claire: Claire, my name is Claire.

[00:16:22] Yoojin: Claire, I think it's clear that everyone in the family is very concerned about this situation and we would like it to reach an amicable end.

[00:16:36] Claire: So would I.

[00:16:37] Yoojin: So, what can we do to make this situation right?

[00:16:41] Brian: Can I just explain? Look, Claire, I know I came in really confident with the d*** pic I sent you, and I wanted to be able to just, you know, make you happy. But at the time, I'd been in a really, really mentally low place. The pressure of performing, of being the best, it was all just way too much.

[00:17:01] Claire: I know that's your excuse for wasting my time. I'm halfway through my f*** around period of my five year plan before I settle down and start a biodynamic farm in the country. I wasted a week of my precious time roleplaying as your psychologist without so much as a finger bang.

[00:17:18] Brian: I get it. This was honestly just bad timing. That night, that I saw you I had just come from a really difficult therapy session and I was still working through some things. Please believe me, this has nothing to do with you. I find you very attractive.

[00:17:35] Claire: Yeah, right. What is it about then?

[00:17:39] Brian: I don't know. I'm trying to figure that out.

[00:17:43] Claire: So in the meantime, the next girl you find really attractive, you're just gonna send her a bunch of really well composed d*** pics and waste her time too? Is that what's gonna happen?

[00:17:52] Brian: I never meant to waste your time. You caught me in a totally bad.

[00:17:56] Claire: You know your cousin Sean had mentioned that you've actually got a long history of disrespecting women breaking up with your last girlfriend out of the blue when she said she didn't want children, showing up to Circle in a linen suit?

[00:18:10] Claire: I mean, are the romantic lives of other Korean speaking women just a joke to you?

[00:18:15] Yoojin: Brian, didn't Umma teach you better? Treat women with the respect. Dress for the job you want. As a husband and father! Why do you think Sean already has a family and you don't?

[00:18:29] Brian: Okay. Okay. Maybe I don't have the best history, but I really am trying to figure out how to better myself. So, can we please not bring Sean into this?

[00:18:40] Yoojin: Sean?

[00:18:41] Brian: Here we go.

[00:18:41] Yoojin: No, no. This is about Sean?

[00:18:44] Brian: Can't one thing be about me positively? I mean.

[00:18:50] Yoojin: Claire. Brian's impotence.

[00:18:53] Brian: I'm not impotent, just anxious.

[00:18:57] Yoojin: Brian's impotence is my fault. How could I not see this before? Brian? This is all because I have been too hard on you.

[00:19:07] Everyone: What?

[00:19:09] Yoojin: Brian. I should have done more to encourage you. How can you feel potent when all I do is brag about how much better your cousins are than you? You need to feel good about yourself. That's what makes d*** hard. All this time, I've been comparing you to your cousin and it's caused you to be limp as a noodle.

[00:19:39] Brian: I'm super uncomfortable with that metaphor, but I mean, I did feel more virile when you told me deep down you wanted me to be successful so I could be happy.

[00:19:50] Yoojin: Brian, I can't change the past, but I'm committed to doing a better job to support your future success. Oh, happiness Uhhuh. I need to spend more time celebrating you rather than you are already successful-- I mean, happy cousins.

[00:20:10] Claire: Wow. I guess I'm realizing I doubled down on you wasting my time because I felt pressured from my family to settle down. And by blackmailing you, I've just made that pressure to perform worse. Ugh, I never meant to add to your impotence, Brian.

[00:20:27] Brian: I'm not.

[00:20:28] Claire: You are.

[00:20:31] Brian: Thanks.

[00:20:32] Claire: Yeah.

[00:20:32] Brian: Look, I'm sorry about everything. Can you please please not send out any more of my d*** pics?

[00:20:40] Claire: Only if we can get the hamachi Crudo.

[00:20:42] Yoojin: Make that too.

[00:20:43] Claire: Yay.

[00:20:45] Yoojin: How about we order yellow cab home? I don't trust these Uber people who offer mints for free.

[00:20:55] Brian: Umma. Thanks for saying all that in there about Sean and whatever.

[00:21:00] Yoojin: No need to thank me, Brian. I'm your Umma, 사랑해 아들, I love you. I want your dick to work, right?

[00:21:10] Angela: Does everyone in this friend group's parents want their d***** to be hard?

[00:21:13] Sanjay: I know my parents want grandchildren. They've put it on the top of their Christmas list every year since I graduated college.

[00:21:20] Henry: Ho, ho, ho, ho.

[00:21:22] Lisa: In a way, this is all super sweet of your mom, Brian.

[00:21:25] Brian: Yeah. And I thought the blackmailing would end there.

[00:21:30] Kevin: Wait, it didn't.

[00:21:33] Brian: Here you go, mom.

[00:21:37] Sean: 이모 what's going on?

[00:21:40] Sean: Home so soon? Let's get you outta the cold and inside. I have dinner waiting.

[00:21:44] Yoojin: Just a second. Sean. Brian, come here. I was gonna save this for when you got your medical license, but I think now is the time.

[00:21:57] Brian: What is it? Umma, are you...hugging me?

[00:22:02] Yoojin: 사랑해 아들.

[00:22:05] Sean: Is that a hug?

[00:22:08] Brian: Wow. That was way better than a plate of cut fruit.

[00:22:12] Sean: And, and do I get one for, you know, helping out and saving Brian's ass?

[00:22:17] Yoojin: Maybe later. Don't bother with dinner. I'm stuffed from lunch. Oh, they had a hamachi crudo, so fresh.

[00:22:34] Brian: Okay. Hey, our next stop is going to be in Williamsburg. You don't happen to have any mints, do you?

[00:22:43] Taxi Driver: What do you think? This is an Uber.

[00:22:48] Brian: What the f***? Stop the car.

[00:22:53] Brian: There were 12 emails addressed to all of the admissions boards for the top medical schools on the East coast where I had pending applications. Each one had the d*** pic attached.

[00:23:06] Lisa: Okay. I knew I said my fighting days are over, but I might have to reclaim my title.

[00:23:10] Kevin: Did you lawyer up?

[00:23:11] Brian: I did. Even better.

[00:23:14] Brian: I have no future. My life is ruined. How did she know? I even applied.

[00:23:19] Yoojin: I don't know. I feel like I'm about to faint. This is too many d*** for one day.

[00:23:29] Sean: There's some water, 이모. You did what you could.

[00:23:31] Yoojin: There's only one thing to do. Call Dae-Sung.

[00:23:35] Sean: No, I mean. He, he's probably way too busy, right? Maybe there's some way I can fix this.

[00:23:42] Sean: I already have bibimbaybee's number.

[00:23:44] Brian: Claire.

[00:23:45] Sean: I can just have a talk with her. Fix this once and for all.

[00:23:47] Yoojin: No, no. That's okay. Sean, you're just a surgeon.

[00:23:52] Sean: Just a surgeon.

[00:23:53] Yoojin: You don't know anything about law. Dae-sung is the only person who can help us, now. He's the best. Maybe he can turn this around. And he makes so much money, so, so much that I'm sure he'd have no problem working pro bono.

[00:24:11] Sean: What are you doing Brian?

[00:24:13] Brian: I'm texting Claire, telling her to expect a call from Dae-sung.

[00:24:16] Sean: What? Why We don't need lawyers. You said it yourself, 이모. Come on.

[00:24:22] Brian: She's playing dumb. She says she just doesn't know what I'm talking about.

[00:24:25] Sean: Look. Okay, let me talk to her.

[00:24:26] Brian: What are you doing? Let go.

[00:24:29] Sean: I can fix this.

[00:24:30] Brian: She sent a voice note.

[00:24:31] Brian: Let me see it.

[00:24:31] Sean: No, let me handle it. Ah, that's my surgery hand! 이모, your son bit me.

[00:24:40] Claire: Hey Brian. I didn't send those. I swear, I deleted the account and the photo and the list of schools your cousin sent me.

[00:24:49] Brian: Wait...

[00:24:51] Sean: I mean, I guess I can help you with your applications. Check out these schools, these schools, schools, schools.

[00:24:58] Brian: You did this, you sent the email to the admissions board.

[00:25:01] Sean: Wait a minute, Brian, I can still fix this.

[00:25:04] Brian: You've been trying to make me look bad this whole time and I've been having a f***ing crisis. You said you would help me, but then you've been purposely trying to hurt me.

[00:25:13] Yoojin: Sean, is this true?

[00:25:18] Sean: You know, I've worked so hard to be the pride and joy of this family to give 이모 and 엄마 their allowances. I even keep an esthetician on payroll and what have I gotten for it? Sure. They always say, Sean's so successful and Sean's a good son, but is Sean ever the best? Does Sean ever get the affection he deserves? I've certainly never gotten a hug and I graduated med school!

[00:25:49] Brian: Oh, that's what this is about.

[00:25:52] Sean: Do you know how hard it was to hear 이모 tell you that she'll support you no matter what after she thought you were a drug dealer?

[00:26:00] Sean: I mean, how is that fair? I got straight A's in chem motherf***er. I've shaved years off my life pulling all-nighters, destroying all the collagen in my face, and prematurely aged myself, and I still can't compete with Brian, the dropout. No, don't touch me. No. Brian !

[00:26:20] Brian: Hugging someone for 20 seconds or longer releases endorphins.

[00:26:24] Sean: Why are you being so nice to me? Brian? I ruined your life.

[00:26:29] Brian: It was the most reckless thing I could do. Sean, if we don't validate one another's struggles, we'll never feel better. Let's just agree to stop competing and just be the best versions of ourselves from here on out.

[00:26:45] Sean: Okay, let me make this right how I have some clients, they're very high profile and into social justice. Give me a chance.

[00:27:00] Yoojin: This better work.

[00:27:04] Brian: Sorry to keep you waiting. Williamsburg, please.

[00:27:09] Brian: On the long ride from Connecticut, I dozed off for a bit until --

[00:27:15] Chummy Grenier: DTF. The South Korean pop sensation that has taken the world by storm has alerted their army to yet another social justice cause: d*** pic-ing.

[00:27:25] Brian: What the f***? Can you turn up the sound on this tv?

[00:27:30] D.T.F. : Hey, this is DTF. We might be one of the biggest musical groups in the world. But we have all faced moments of anxiety when we perform as musicians and as lovers. That's why we're standing by our friend Brian, who has recently been the subject of blackmail after his own experience with performance anxiety.

[00:27:50] D.T.F. : We want Brian to know that we and our army have a message for the people who shame him. It's "Get off of my D**** pic."

[00:27:59] Henry: Wow. DTF can do no wrong.

[00:28:02] Kevin: So, did any of the admissions boards reply to the dick pic? I really need to know this.

[00:28:07] Brian: I've been getting a lot of requests for DTF tickets and uh, one admissions officer replied with "you up?"

[00:28:14] Angela: I'm glad Sean came around after all. Sounds like he really got to his rock bottom. That hug did him in.

[00:28:20] Brian: Yeah, it's honestly kind of insane how he's been living his whole life based on the expectations he thinks our family has put on him.

[00:28:31] Sanjay: Aren't we all? That's why Henry's tragic set on late night was so hard for me to, I put so much pressure on myself this year to be successful.

[00:28:40] Kevin: I wanted so badly to make my mom proud. I turned my back on my family just to see if a white girl would love me.

[00:28:46] Lisa: I've been carrying the financial weight of my dreams, my friends' dysfunctions, and my mom's late stage f*** girl era!

[00:28:53] Angela: And I decided to learn a new language hoping it would fix my identity crisis and reunite me with my family.

[00:28:58] Lisa: It sounds like you made some real progress, B. Your relationship with your mom is great. Your cousin has done trying to actively end you. You've literally and figuratively won the lottery.

[00:29:09] Sanjay: What a come up, what's next for you, Brian? I feel like we can monetize this story. There's, there's something here. I don't know.

[00:29:18] Brian: I guess I, uh, have to figure out what else I want in life that doesn't involve family.

[00:29:24] Angela: Oof. Good luck with that, muchacho.

[00:29:26] Lisa: Speaking of family, Angela, is that your mom? It is. What the hell, mom? What's going on? How did you get here?

[00:29:40] Helen: I took the ferry. Angela. Something's happened.