Unknown: Hi, I'm Paige Killian, and I'm passionate about helping
busy moms of littles organize and style their life in three
simple steps. Living this mom life is incredible, and
sometimes completely overwhelming. is stressing about
overstuffed drawers never ending mail piles, a mountain of Legos
and our kids artwork really what God intended. No way. Getting
organized has been a game changer for me, and also my
clients. But it has to be simple, or it just won't get
done. So let's simplify the process and clear the clutter to
see the blessings God has for us. I know your time is
valuable. So thanks for joining me each week for a healthy dose
of organization and a whole lot of motivation.
Well, hey there busy mom, how are you doing today? I hope that
you're doing well. I am feeling all kinds of supported and
loved. And it is because I am just back from a wonderful meet
up with my mom life, ladies. So you may have heard me talk about
mom life before. I have been going to it since it was
actually long before it was called mom life at our church.
And our church and our school are combined. They're separated
by a courtyard area if you're physically going in, and first
you walk into the church, and then you go through the
courtyard, and then it becomes our kids school. So this area is
definitely a home away from home. We are there just about
every day of the week, including the weekends, too. So this place
has been a wonderful retreat. It has been a wonderful celebratory
place to go. And I've definitely been going to this same church
and my kids school for so many years now. And I think it was
2015 When I first became one of the leaders, I had actually been
going when it was moms. So if you have never heard of that
before, that's mothers of preschoolers. And we went when I
did have a preschooler, Isabel was my preschooler. And I
actually was in another offering that our church had for the moms
in the community, they didn't even have to go to our church or
school. And it's the same way mom life is now. So if you're
just you know, in neighboring communities and your kids go to
a different school, or you go to a different church, you can
still come to our church and do the Mommy and Me program. So
many years ago, 2015. It was when I had Isabel adatok as a
toddler, and then I also had my Duke as a baby. And I was
attending those classes and those meetings, and I loved it.
And then a friend of mine, who was one of the leaders in mob
said, I am leaving our family is moving to a different state. And
I know you have come many times and you are a consistent face we
see in the audience and you participate when we have
questions and all that. And she said, I think that you would be
wonderful if you would consider serving on our leadership
committee. And I was honored. I was surprised because I still
felt like I had really little littles and I was like, oh,
gosh, I'm still learning this stuff. I don't even know what I
have something to contribute, I don't know. And so I was so
grateful. She asked me to do that, because that really opened
up this new world to experience a leadership role with this
group that had given me so much support and so much love as a
member, someone who was just coming and listening to all of
the speakers and participating in the conversation when we
would break out for table groups. And so I was honored. So
in about 2015. It was around there that I took on that
leadership role. And I was the Speaker coordinator. So I had a
fun role where I got to reach out to people in the community
and ask them to come and be speakers. And now fast forward
after I had to step out of that role because I went back to work
teaching and I actually taught at that same school. Then when
my son was in preschool, and my daughter was getting ready to go
into second grade, I had been a second grade teacher. At that
time, I thought, You know what, we're gonna let her have her
moment. And so I stepped out of second grade as she came into
second grade. And then my son and I got to have some beautiful
alone time together before he got into preschool and TK and
kindergarten. And so we had some time and that's also when I
started my business. And so while I wasn't temporarily for a
couple of years, a leader there. I then ended up being asked to
come back when they decided that they were going to turn it into
mom life because we saw that we were losing a lot of these
amazing moms who were leaving because their kids were out of
preschool when we were doing mops, mothers of preschoolers,
and we were losing them out of mommy and me because their kids
were growing up, and they were starting school. And we were
like, We need to have some sort of group on campus, here were
all those moms who were losing, because their kids are
outgrowing these times of their lives, we need to keep them
together, because we realize how important it really was to all
of us to have that mom community to support each other. And we
would all be going through different phases at different
times. And the beauty of mom life is that we would have these
brand new moms who were still in mommy and me who would have been
the perfect attendees of mops, mothers of preschoolers. And
then we would also have these moms who were seasoned moms who
were more experienced moms who had been around for a little
while, and we're able to help those new women coming into this
new role of motherhood and share their experiences and say, girl,
don't you even worry, we went through that too. And our kids
turned out fine. And believe me, I have been the recipient of
those kinds of statements before where you struggle, and you're
like, I am dropping the ball, I'm not doing a good job. And
then you've got these moms who were like, Oh, honey, don't even
worry this, we totally went through this, this is normal,
it's okay. Or here are some resources that you can use to
come out of this and get to the other side. And then of course,
when I received that information, I certainly wanted
to give it back. So before I tell you today, a couple of
resources that I just wanted to share with you that have been
helpful for me, I wanted to just let you know that if you have
not found your mom group, figure out a way to connect with people
in your community. So if you are driving by a church, and you
think well, I don't go to that church, that doesn't mean that
you couldn't be a part of a mom group that they might offer. We
have these amazing tools called our cell phones and computers
these days, where you can actually just type in mom
groups, local mom groups, it doesn't have to be associated
with a church, it doesn't have to have a faith based
background, if there is something that you feel like you
would just like to have support on, you know, Bedwetting, or
transitioning from a toddler bed to a big kid bed, or going
through potty training or going from breastfeeding to weaning at
that time. Or maybe you want to talk about some struggles, if
your kids have special needs, and you need some resources for
things like that. You don't necessarily have to go with a
church. So that is the place that I've always felt that extra
comfort, that extra faith based background, I've always loved
that. I've also really enjoyed a lot of times meeting with those
mom life ladies, we can then break off and do Bible studies.
And I really, really liked doing Bible studies with these mom
friends, because it allows us an opportunity to just connect on a
deeper level, it gives us that sort of home feel, you don't
necessarily have to do it at church, you can take turns, and
each of you hosts a different night, have people into your
home, go into people's homes, even again, if this is not Bible
study related. You could do a book club, something like that.
Pick these groups of women that you can actually see yourself
hanging out with outside of this mom group, and make plans to
actually do that. Because that support and love is not just
needed at church is not just needed. At school, it is needed
all the time. So one of the things that I love about going
to these groups is that you don't have to be formal. So I
actually joked a couple of weeks ago, I was the speaker at mom
life and I talked about an episode that I had recorded
prior to going and when they some of the leaders actually
heard the topic they're like Paige can you actually come in
and speak on overscheduled to a fault. So I definitely did. And
it was well received and we were all cracking up because the
first thing I said was, I would just like to thank you all this
group means so much to me because it really just holds me
accountable for my personal hygiene. So I joked because I
knew that I needed to take a shower the night before to make
sure that I had like clean hair and I looked put together and
whatever. So that totally came up in our conversation and when
I was also doing the speaking engagement because that's kind
of the funny thing. You know, like when you're a mom sometimes
you feel like you're doing all these millions of things on the
home front and sometimes you can be like oh my goodness, it's
three o'clock it's time to go pick up the kids again from
carpool and I'm still in my pajamas. Even if you've been
incredibly productive that day, you can be very productive in
your pajamas. But the joke was, I felt like these ladies
deserved to have a speaker who was going to actually take a
shower and wash her hair and put makeup on and whatever. And so
we kind of joked about that. And that became the topic of
conversation. So then today, when I went back, it's a couple
of weeks later, because we don't meet every Friday morning
because a couple of weeks later, the amazing Kelly was a dear
friend of mine. Now she's been on the mom life Leadership
Committee for years. She was speaking on anxiety and
motherhood. It was just absolute gold today, as I go to see her.
The big joke was a couple of weeks prior I had, you know,
talked about well, if you don't see me with a hat on that means
I actually got a shower and wash my hair but and then of course,
what happened today I show up in my hat. And they're like, Oh,
hey, you're wearing a hat. And I'm like, Yeah, you know what
that means? Day four, not a wash the hair, though. It's also this
like beautiful lace where you can go and show up in your
pajamas. If you need to show up nursing your baby sitting on the
back row or in the front row. For that matter. We don't care,
a place where you can go and feel like you're kind of a hot
mess Express because we will love you regardless. That is why
it is so very important to find your mom group. Additionally, as
we were talking about the hat, I joked that I said, oh boy, well,
you always knew what was going on in my car after I dropped the
kids off at carpool. I was running a little bit later today
as far as like what I wanted to get done. And I was like, Oh,
I'll pick up some extra time and not do my makeup at home. I'll
just grab my makeup bag.
I'll do it in the car. You don't know I'm laughing but I know
why.
So as I'm sitting there, you know dropped off Isabelle at
carpool in the middle school lot dropped off Duke in the
elementary school lot. I pull over I like wave to the heads of
school, you know, and then I pull in. And they're probably
like, oh pages here, she's got to run mom life like she's just
gonna pull over in the parking lot here. And so I get ready to
take out my makeup bag. And I realized that my little sponges
that I used to apply my you know, the foundation and
concealer. I usually use the ones that are in a canister
little container that's in a tray on my bathroom counter
beside my seat. And I was like, oh, shoot, I don't have any of
those. Usually I'll throw some them. I just grabbed my little
travel makeup bag. And I was like, Oh no, I don't have those.
And I thought, Gosh, I don't want to just put it on my hands
and rub it in on my face. Because then it'll be all over
my hands. And I just was like, Oh, I don't want to go that's
kind of yet. And so I thought how am I going to get my makeup
on? What sort of thing Do I have to apply it and of course, most
moms, you're either going to have you know, baby wipes in the
console of your car, or you're going to have napkins in your
glove box. So of course I have those. But I was like, Oh, I
really wish I had something that was a little more like a cotton
base like a thicker. And then I realized in my makeup bag, I've
got some organic tampons. I'm like, Well, why not? Let's try
it. It's certainly hygienic. It's going to be like a clean
cotton thing you know. So I pull out this tampon, and I flatten
it out. And it is let me just tell you Mom hack of the year, I
am applying my makeup. If anyone pulls up next to me and sees me
doing this, they're gonna see this like application of makeup
going on with the string hanging down. Okay, that is this is how
I live my life. And this is the story that I then share at mom
life as we are all joking about pulling ourselves together and
trying to show up and look decent. But really we all know
that there's all kinds of nonsense going on behind the
scenes. And these women and I we were rolling, we were laughing
and we were all talking about how you know we have like
discovered these crazy mom hacks over the years and you just got
to share it with your girlfriends. And whether you are
struggling with your kids wetting the bed or you are
struggling with breastfeeding or you are struggling because you
need to apply some makeup and you do not have any sponges in
your makeup bag and you have to get real creative and
resourceful. This is why you need mom friends. So if you feel
like you have got a community around you and you might be
missing out, have you got some FOMO because you feel like you
see the moms going to and from church or school and they've got
their crew and you just want to be a part of that. I really
recommend that you put yourself out there even if maybe that's
uncomfortable for you. Maybe you're not the extroverted
person that feels comfortable going up to a friend group at
church. wherever you may be, maybe it's your kids, you know,
sporting environment. And you know, you guys are all going all
to the games and stuff together. Maybe it's we're doing musical
theater right now. Like, maybe it's the theater moms and the
kids or something, and you need to just be bold. What's the
worst they can say? Like, no, our friend groups full? You
can't join us? I mean, if they did, you don't want to be a part
of that group at all. But no, chances are, they're going to be
like, Oh my gosh, yes, come with us we meet or we're going to go
to happy hour this summer, we all like to drop our kids off
and then go get some coffee after we, we do this group hike,
where we go hiking in the mornings after we drop our kids
off. Whatever it is, maybe maybe your crew loves music. And so
you guys all meet up and you go to concerts together. Or maybe
it's theaters or plays or something like that, that you
like to go to. And you guys want to meet up and once a month you
go see a play together, maybe you're really into art, and you
guys meet up and you travel around and you go see different
art exhibits. Whatever it is you're into, there are groups
that you could be a part of. And I highly recommend starting with
your church, if you don't go to a church. Just trust that God is
going to drop one in your life at the right time. And he is
going to give you wonderful women in your life who can be
supportive of you. If you are local in Southern California to
near where I live. If you're in the Palisades Malibu, Santa
Monica, Los Angeles, Brentwood Westwood, any of those areas
nearby. Reach out to me, you can go to everything with style.com.
And you'll see my information on the contact page. Reach out to
me and I will let you know where you can come and meet us. Moms
of all ages and stages are at mom life. And we would
absolutely love to have you I do have to warn you. While we have
delicious breakfasts. And we have wonderful speakers. And we
have such fun things that we meet up and do. You're also
going to be subjected to conversations about putting on
makeup with a tampon. So just you know, just be prepared.
That's the kind of stuff that could come up, okay, but you're
going to be loved on and there's going to be lots of praying and
hugging and fun, good fun. Good, clean, fun. Hey there quick
reminder that now there are four ways to get my book. If you head
over to Amazon, you can search up I've got your girlfriend, why
getting organized and living this mom life is not a solo
mission. You can now get it on the Kindle app, paperback
hardcover. And the audio book is finally here. So if you've been
enjoying this podcast episode, I have a feeling you might love
the audiobook. Thanks so much for making it a best seller. And
now back to the show.
Okay, so I mentioned that I have some resources that I am I have
either read in the past, or I'm working on right now. And I
wanted to share those with you. And then I also just wanted to
mention a little bit more about my book as well, too, if you're
needing some resources for getting organized, but also just
again, reading some stories about personal experiences I've
gone through or my clients have gone through in that mom world.
So I'll read a little bit of that to you as well. The first
thing I want to tell you is that I read this amazing book with my
Bible study ladies, but also it was like more like a book club
situation. So you don't necessarily have to be a part of
a church to appreciate this so much. Jenny Allen has written a
book, find your people. Now I'm saying find your mom group. But
as I mentioned, your group might not be this mom group that is
all about just, you know, talking about your kids and
talking about like, there might be specific things that you
love, like I mentioned art or music, or those kinds of things
that you actually might want to do outside of a church setting
or a school setting. And that's another thing that Jenny Allen
talks about in her book too. It will it can be like your
neighbors, you don't even have to know these people from church
or school, they can be your neighbors. And I know while
COVID was absolutely insane. That was a crazy time during the
pandemic. I know that a lot of people have shared with me in
our group and just friend groups that one of the things that they
found is that they were getting outside more and talking with
their neighbors more. You know, so many, many of us, were really
quarantining and having to stay at home. And so the only way we
could really get out and see other people since we weren't
going to a lot of places for meetings, is we would walk out
on our street on our block. We'd be outside with the kids riding
their bikes or playing or taking more walks in the neighborhood
because that was kind of all All we could do at that time. And
the beauty of it was connecting more with your neighbors. So we
actually had a new neighbor move in and I got to meet them a
couple of days ago, we're so excited about that I joke, I
told my mom that I've moved to Mayberry, we have this
beautiful, wonderful street with these amazing neighbors could
not be more grateful for them. And one of the first things that
we did it, we got invited to this block party, and we all got
to contribute to bringing something and doing different
things, and decorating and getting a bounce house and
running some games and activities for the kids. And it
was just this awesome opportunity for all of us who
are from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, getting
together and just being in community, sharing stories,
laughing, eating, drinking, having fun having our kids be
active and part of that conversation as well. So
whatever it is that you need to do whatever it is that you're
interested in, figure out a way to connect with people in your
community doing some similar things. But also, don't be
afraid to put yourself out there and connect with people who
maybe even have different interests, because that can be a
very fun way to connect with your community as well. Some
unlikely relationships might form which is kind of fun. So as
I was telling you find your people is a fantastic book that
Jenny Allen has done. And I wanted to just read a little bit
on the back because I feel like that would resonate. So it says
we aren't supposed to be this lonely. All too often, we're
tempted to do life alone. Whether because we're so busy or
because relationships feel risky and hard. But science confirms
that consistent, meaningful connection with others is
crucial to our mental and spiritual health. We are meant
to live known and loved. And yet so many of us are hiding behind
emotional walls, that we're experiencing an epidemic of
loneliness. Find your people offers practical solutions for
creating true community in a world that's both more connected
and more isolating than ever before. Drawing on fascinating
insights from science and history, timeless biblical truth
and vulnerable stories from her own life. Best Selling Author
Jenny Allen helps you overcome the barriers to making new
friends and learn to initiate with easy to follow steps. find
simple ways to press through awkward to get to authentic in
conversations. I love that one. Understand how conflict can
strengthen relationships, rather than destroy them. That's huge.
I'm going to read that again. Understand how conflict can
strengthen relationships, rather than destroy them. Identify the
type of friend you are and the types of friends you need. Learn
the five practical ingredients, you need to have the healthy
friendships you've always longed for. You were created to play,
engage, adventure and explore with others and find your people
you will discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and
experience the full wonder of community. Because while the
ache of loneliness is real, it doesn't have to be your reality.
Though I absolutely loved this book, I found it to be
incredibly helpful. I love how Jenny also talks. Oh, she has a
podcast too. It's called what is it called? I wasn't planning on
sharing this. So I didn't look it up beforehand. I can put a
link in show notes for it. But I think it's called made made for
this. That's what I think it is. I think it's called made for
this look at Jenny Allen podcast made for this. It's made for
something but I think that's what it is. And it's so, so
fantastic. And she does actually, in a lot of the books
that she's done, she'll do these separate series of podcasts. And
she'll just be talking about that particular book at the
time, and different, you know, experiences that came up when
she was writing it that she put in the book, lessons she learned
from it. Maybe questions that a lot of the people who are doing
the Bible study or the book club and reading her books are
opening up those discussions and having those hard talks, the
ones that maybe start out awkward but end up being
authentic. I loved that part. So definitely check that out. So
both the book and the podcast for her Those are great
resources. Another thing that I wanted to mention is I am just
beginning this I was talking to one of my girlfriends Kristen at
mom life this morning she said she's already read the first
three chapters but she was immediately hooked could not put
it down. So I know it's gonna be great. I also just wanted to
read a short bit from the bat I read all of Jenny's this book is
called love idol. And it's by Jennifer Dukes Lee. It says
letting go of your need for approval and seeing yourself
through God. ARDS eyes. So one of the things that I feel like
has been so invaluable, which does not word almost sound
negative, if it's invaluable, it's not valuable. But the truth
is, it's invaluable, because you cannot put a value on it. It is
like it is so huge and so important to have these mom
friends of all ages in stages, who are there to support you. I
think this whole idea of wanting approval from them is not where
you should be coming from, but more being so totally secure,
that you've got these moms who just no matter what, like, even
if you put your makeup on with a tampon,
they're gonna love you. Even if you show up with hair, that's
four days unwashed, they're gonna love you. Even if you feel
like you're totally crushing it at mom life or failing
miserably. They're gonna love you, and they're gonna support
you. So I really am looking forward to this book. And
Voskamp if you know actually, if you follow Jenny Allen, and you
follow her if gathering, she has had an Voskamp be one to come
and speak at that event before and she is definitely a
powerhouse when it comes to speaking and and wrote about
this book, Love idle, that endless exhausting crusade for
approval. And here. So I love that. So this is something that
Jennifer writes on the back. Hi, I'm Jennifer. I know we've just
met But already, I want you to like me. You felt it that deep
longing for people to value you, respect you and love you. You've
worked hard for their approval, you've wanted to make people
think you've got it all together. But on the inside,
you're falling apart. And you've heard this one question ringing
in your ears. What will people think of me? So that's just a
little excerpt from the back of her book. And I am so ready to
dive into that because oh boy, being a I talked about being a
perfectionist and recovering, recovering perfectionist that
is, has always been a struggle. I've always wanted to be someone
who pleases others and make sure that they like me and that I'm
not doing or saying too crazy thing. I want them to be able to
resonate with the things that I say, and I want their approval.
And I've just had to learn as an adult. I've been able to settle
a little bit more into myself, my crazy self, my myself that
sometimes like over reacts to things and struggles with things
that just honestly, I don't I don't mean to make such a
difficult thing anymore. I have mom friends who support me, I
have a family and friends that I feel like do you support me and
I have the understanding that God is a part of my life. And I
am not alone. Even when friends and family aren't around. I'm
not alone. So that has definitely always been something
that's been really helpful for me my faith. And again, I just I
can't tell you enough how important it is to find your mom
group. Find your group of people who will be with you to support
you in those tough times and celebrate it up when times are
great. The last thing and resource I wanted to say is just
don't forget that my book is out. It's now on audio. So if
you enjoy the podcast, certainly, the audio book might
be right up your alley. But also even if you haven't listened to
the podcast before, and you're new here, thank you so much for
joining me. I always like to think that when you show up even
in the middle of a podcast, that it's because God has led you to
the place and it was something that you were meant to hear. So
hopefully this is landing on you well today. And also always
remember you can reach out to me if you ever have something you
want to talk to me about on the podcast, you would like for me
to speak on if you have questions. They don't have to be
got organization. They can be mom life stuff, they can be
anything. They could be about makeup tutorials, but I don't
know if you should dress me for that one. But sure, I'll share
my tips with you if you'd like. Number one, forget your makeup
sponge at home. Okay, here is the other thing I wanted to do
which is just quickly remind you the name of my book is I've got
you girlfriend, the subtitle is why getting organized and living
this mom life is not a solo mission. There it is. Again,
it's not a solo mission, you need to find your mom group. And
according to Jenny, you need to find your people and it is true.
So I just wanted to read a little bit from the back of my
book as well just to give you a bit of an understanding of what
you're going to find inside. I've got you girlfriend is
exactly what you want to hear when all the crazy messy,
exhausting, disorganized overwhelming moments happen in
this small life where it living and sometimes that's all before
9am There's nothing better than feeling unconditional love and
support from the people all around you But what if it feels
more like you're on an island, and not the good kind of island
with tropical drinks, the sound of soothing waves and a daytime
nap on the beach? What if it's the kind of island that makes
you feel super lonely? Because you're missing that much needed
encouragement, that boost of confidence that hype girl who
totally gets it because she's in the busy mom trenches with you.
Guess what? This life is not a solo mission pages here to help
me. It's so weird to say pages here. I'm just gonna say I am
here to help make the stress and overwhelm of getting organized
and living this beautiful and wildly unexpected mom life a lot
simpler. With my proven three E's philosophy. Life can get
cluttered, but we're in this together. One sippy cup reveal
skinned knee, desperate attempt at a social life. 18th load of
laundry third bedtime story, fifth grade math homework, runny
nose, wiping poopy on the potty party, laugh until you cry, cry
until you laugh, intentional step at a time. I've got your
girlfriend, it says she's got you girlfriend. But again, I'm
reading it. So I've got your girlfriend. If you are feeling
like you are on an island and not the good kind, I just want
you to know, I understand that feeling. And I am here, I would
love to support you in any way I can. And I know there are a ton
of other moms out there who would love to do that for you as
well. And by the way, if you just totally have your act
together and you want to start your own mom group, by all
means, do it. Share your wisdom, I am absolutely certain that the
people who listen to this podcast have got some amazing
things to share as well, that would impact and benefit so many
other lives. So if that is the message you needed to hear, I
hope you will receive that. You have knowledge, you have
experience. You have trials that you have lived through that will
help other people. So make sure you are sharing your experience.
Again, as Jenny said, authentically, don't let it be
awkward. If you come from that place of authenticity and just
realness. And you put yourself out there, share your story, and
you are going to help someone else. So hopefully this was
helpful for you today, check out some of these resources, I will
make sure to link them up in show notes. I hope that this was
something that would encourage you to step outside of something
you've been doing for a while if you do need a friend boost. Go
find a space that would allow you to be exactly who you are.
You are loved. You were fearfully and wonderfully made,
the Bible says so there are no mistakes. The way that you are
is absolutely amazing. And I just really hope that you find
your mom group that you love. So reach out to me if you need any
more resources. And I hope that you will have an amazing rest of
your week and join me next time for some more organization
motivation. Bye bye. Thanks for listening to another episode of
the moms organization motivation podcast. For more resources to
organize and style your busy life, head over to everything
with style.com and connect with me on Instagram at everything
was style mom. If this episode was helpful for you, please
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