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A few years ago in the middle of a ski
village, in the middle of the Alps, a

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friend of mine had a cardiac arrest.

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I was part of the group that was
there, and I witnessed him collapsing.

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And because I'm a doctor and I used
to run the arrest team and I've been

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trained, I spotted really quickly
that he was in cardiac arrest rather

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than just having had a faint or
having a fit or something like that.

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I was able to act really fast, get
to him and start CPR within just

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a few seconds of him collapsing.

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Now doctors, healthcare professionals,
this is what we're trained to do.

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We can spot danger in other people,
we can spot sepsis, we can spot

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red flags, we know we can act fast.

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But when it comes to ourselves, we
are very bad at spotting the signs.

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Maybe it's gone on for a long,
long time, and just like that frog,

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because it's building up so slowly
we don't realize how bad it's got.

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Or maybe we just think some of these signs
are normal, or maybe it's because everyone

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else is exhibiting the same signs.

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Or maybe you are spotting the signs,
but you think it's gonna get better.

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This is often what happens in burnout.

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You think, well just got another week
until the appraisal, or just another

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year until they appoint somebody,
or yeah, in six months time, we've

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got two colleagues starting and,
and it's gonna be much, much better.

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And meanwhile, the heat's rising,
you are feeling worse and worse.

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And you know that you're
exhausted, you're running on fumes.

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You know you need to do something.

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The danger isn't that you don't know this.

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The danger is that you wait until
things are totally catastrophic

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before you jump out of the pan or
do anything to turn the heat down

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and sometimes that's just too late.

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Beause here's the problem.

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We think that doing nothing
is just neutral, but it's not.

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Doing nothing is a choice.

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It's a choice to damage your
relationships and neglect your

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family and to lose all your joy.

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So my question to you today
is how bad does it have to get

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before you actually do something?

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This is a You Are Not a Frog quick dip,
a tiny taster of the kinds of things we

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talk about on our full podcast episodes.

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I've chosen today's topic to give
you a helpful boost in the time it

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takes to have a cup of tea so you
can return to whatever else you're

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up to feeling energized and inspired.

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For more tools, tips, and insights
to help you thrive at work, don't

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forget to subscribe to You Are Not a
Frog wherever you get your podcasts.

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And I've been pondering on
why we don't act early, why we

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don't act until it's too late.

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Because if a patient came to you with
dreadful symptoms, would you say to

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them, oh, well it'll probably get
better in six months, let's just wait

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until it gets really, really bad?

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Or a friend came to you saying, this
is just awful, i'm not quite sure

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how long I can carry on like this.

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And you say, well, you know
what, any year's time there

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might be some more funding.

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So that'll be okay then, why
don't you wait till then?

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Course you wouldn't.

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You would never say that to.

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You'd say, well, it's much better
to start now, to start early, to

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prevent stuff happening rather
than wait till it gets worse.

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But we just wait.

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It's not because we're lazy.

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There are some very significant
psychological barriers

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sometimes towards acting.

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Sometimes it feels safer to stay put.

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It feels safer to be in the
known, ' cause We flagged it up.

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We might feel shame.

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I can't cope.

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I'm a doctor.

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Other people are managing.

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What does that say about me?

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Does it say I'm not good enough?

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We might be really afraid, you know,
if I stop, what will people think?

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What if I let people down?

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Who am I if I'm not
this the superhero here?

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What if I get complaints that
I'm not always available?

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What if something terrible
happens if I put in a boundary?

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Or we just feel really guilty about
letting other people down, letting down

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our colleagues, letting down our patients.

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Weirdly, we feel more guilt
about that than letting our

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families down by not being there.

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And here's a little bit of
the psychology behind it.

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We have this bias towards the status quo.

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We actually prefer the misery we know
to the uncertainty that we don't.

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Uncertainty is actually quite stressful.

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So in a way, we feel like we're
choosing the lesser of the two evils.

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Human beings also have this loss aversion.

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The fear of loss is actually much worse
than the, the gain of something else.

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So the fear of losing money,
respect, or status, that's actually

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much worse than the hope of
gaining wellbeing, time and joy.

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And there also is this sunk cost fallacy,
and I know exactly how this feels.

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You know, I've given medicine 20
years of my life, or I trained for 10

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years to get to this position or this
job, or I've done this master's in

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this and I'm not really enjoying it.

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I can't stop now.

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Just because you've given all that time
doesn't mean that you can't change,

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or you can't realize that actually
you're not enjoying it so much now.

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Nothing is ever wasted.

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Whatever we do, we'll use
everything that we've been through.

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So these known pains are much
safer than unknown change.

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And as a frog, you know the
pan is hot, but it's familiar.

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You know exactly how it works and
what happens if you jump either

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to a different pan or you try to
turn down the heat and actually you

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end up turning it up, what then?

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But there is a real cost of waiting,
which we don't look at, and most

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doctors only act when they're forced
to, when a catastrophe happens, like

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they get a complaint, they made a
significant error 'cause their brains

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just aren't functioning well or
their marriage dissolves because you

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fail to say no to anything at work.

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Or we've ignored the symptoms
or the palpitations until

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we have that cardiac arrest.

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My friend who had the cardiac
arrest, he was under significant

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amounts of stress at work.

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He knew something needed to change, and
when the cardiologist looked at his heart,

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the only reason they could find for the
VF arrhythmia he went into was stress.

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He knew something needed to change.

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And boy was that a wake up call.

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Waiting often costs you your health.

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It can cost friendships, It
can cost you your marriage.

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And I know and I haven't acted,
I found that my character

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has started to be eroded.

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I've not been the person that I've
wanted to be, and it has eroded my joy.

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But that to me didn't seem
like the urgent thing.

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The urgent thing seems to be avoiding
shame, guilt, or fear, or the stress

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of the uncertainty about the change.

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And in the training that we do, I
like to ask this question because

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I found this once in a book about
career and it stopped me in my tracks.

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I'm gonna ask this question to
you now, and you might want to,

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if you can, pause the podcast
and just write down the answer.

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What is your current way of working,
doing to you, your character, your

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relationships, and your enjoyment of life?

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Your answers might just surprise you.

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Now, I'm not gonna pretend that
there isn't a cost of acting.

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Taking action isn't free either.

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You might feel very real financial
pain cutting down sessions or taking

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sick leave, that might have a financial
impact on you and your family.

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You might feel shame, you might
feel that you've lost part of your

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identity, your identity as the strong
one in the department, this superhero.

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You might feel that if I'm not
coping, am I still a good doctor?

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Other people might think badly of you.

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Absolutely.

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They might whisper well,
she couldn't hack it.

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She couldn't carry on.

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All those things have happened to me.

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And in fact, when I eventually gave
up my license to practice so I could

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focus on doing this sort of thing full
time, my father-in-law came to me and

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said, what do I call you now, Rachel?

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Do I call you Mrs. Morris, not Dr. Morris?

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That at the time felt like
a sucker punch to the gut.

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But you know what?

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I've actually got over that.

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I got over it very quickly.

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These things do happen.

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They're survivable.

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Yeah, finances.

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You can rebuild them.

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You can't really rebuild a heart attack.

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Your identity is so much bigger than
your job title, and you know what?

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Colleagues will cope.

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They'll move on.

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You'll be replaced.

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People will cope, and
meanwhile, you're alive.

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So here's another question for you.

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If your best friend were in your
shoes, would you tell them just to

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keep going, or would you tell 'em to
maybe take a hit and save themselves?

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And in medicine, we act really
fast when we can see that

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the stakes are life or death.

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We wait with ourselves possibly because
we can't quite see how bad the stakes are.

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Sometimes we need to amplify it.

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In change management, they
call this the burning platform.

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You need to be on this burning platform.

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Once you can actually see what's
gonna happen, then you are gonna

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do something about it pretty quick.

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And sometimes when we wanna take
action, it helps to create this

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burning platform for ourselves.

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It's not that we're trying to amplify
stuff out of all proportion, it's

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just that we do need to face reality.

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Here's another question, and
you'll be listening to this in

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September, four months until 2026.

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You might be listening to it another time.

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In that case, how long have
you got until New Year?

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If nothing changes, you already know
how starting next year is gonna feel.

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Do you want another year
of feeling like you do now?

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Do you want another year of maybe
missing out on family stuff or your

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kids' childhood or not forming a
relationship with your partner?

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Do you want another year of
waking up in the middle of the

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night worrying about stuff?

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So imagine it is the next year.

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Imagine it's 2026, if nothing
changes, what would your health,

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relationships, and career look like?

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Is this really the life that you want?

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Now for some of you, the answer
will be yes, I'm doing really well.

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In that case, congratulations and
please let us know how you did it.

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For some of you, you'll be like,
well, you know, I've made some

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changes and they're working.

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That's brilliant.

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I always think that thriving
at work is a bit like being

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in a rowboat, rowing upstream.

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You need to keep working at it,
so that is absolutely brilliant.

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What do you need to do to keep on like
that, to keep feeling like that in 2026?

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And for the rest of you that are
going, oh my goodness, I couldn't

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do another year like this, then
let's explore what you could do.

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Because a lot of people don't change
'cause it just seems like too big a step.

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It feels like, well, the only thing
I can do is to completely burn the

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whole place down, jump out of the
pan and I don't know, go and work

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in a coffee shop or something.

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And definitely sometimes I've thought
to myself, oh, I just wish I could

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have a really easy, predictable job
where I just go in, make coffee and

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go home at reasonable hour and I
have absolutely no responsibility.

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I know that I wouldn't
cope with that either.

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I'd probably get bored really quickly.

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I know that that's not the answer
for me, but often we think that

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to change something means we've
got to make this massive change.

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You don't.

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This is how we can do it without
feeling like this massive, massive step.

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Firstly, shrink the step.

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Don't think resignation,
completely jumping out the pan.

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Maybe just say no once.

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Book an appointment with your GP
or practitioner health, phone a

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friend, or or, or tell the truth
or just do one thing differently.

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Maybe take a two week fire break
gap, which we talk about in our

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self-assessment burnout toolkit.

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Giving yourself that gap and that
time just to think and face reality.

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Get some allies around you.

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Share the load.

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Find one trusted person that
you can talk to about it.

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And if you're feeling shame around this,
it really shrinks when you talk about it.

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Brenna Brown says, shame
can't survive being spoken.

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Start to tell people how you're feeling.

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I always recommend staying
in your zone of power.

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Work out what you are in control of,
focus on what you can control today,

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your sleep, your food, saying no
booking that thing, downloading that

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app, doing that 10 minutes of yoga a
day or that five minutes of meditation.

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Honestly, these small things,
they make a huge difference.

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And one suggestion is make a
list of your kill criteria.

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Decide now, where's the line?

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Where are you?

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A hundred percent gonna act?

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If I cry in the car park, if I cry again
on the way home from work, if I have a

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panic attack in the middle of my surgery,
if I wake up with chest pain, you need to

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act immediately, you wouldn't ignore that.

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And one thing that you might find really
helpful is just to ground yourself

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and, and reset your nervous system.

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Box breathing is really good ' cause
actually it's very difficult to

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decide what action you're gonna
take if you're frozen, if you are

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in your fight, flight, or freeze.

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So get yourself into your
parasympathetic system before you

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even consider what you're gonna do.

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One way of doing this is box breathing.

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Just breathe in for four, hold your
breath for four, breathe out for

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four, hold your breath for four again,
and just repeat this a few times.

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Notice how your body will soften
and you can start to think

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a little bit more clearly.

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Because you have a choice, and here it is.

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If you don't act, when you're
nearing burnout, when you're feeling

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dreadful, the water will keep heating
up and the costs keep going on up

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and you will continue the decline.

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And if you listen to the podcast
with Dr. Richard Duggins, burnout

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is often a cliff for doctors.

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We go down the slope and then
we suddenly drop off that cliff.

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Things are not gonna get
better without action.

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And if you do act, yes,
there's uncertainty.

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Yes, there might be some financial pain.

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You might have a wobble of identity.

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It might feel awkward.

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These costs are finite and they
are survivable, and you can get

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help and support along the way.

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Both paths have a price.

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Which pain are you
gonna choose on purpose?

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So please, if you recognize
yourself in anything I've talked

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about, please go and get help.

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Please speak to a health professional,
practitioner, health occupational health,

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or speak to your team leader or manager.

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And once you've made sure you are
getting the appropriate individual

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help you need, if you're wondering
where else to start, we've created

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a few tools which might help.

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There's the burnout
self-assessment toolkit.

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It helps you work out exactly where you
are on the burnout spectrum and what

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to do next, and there's all sorts of
tools and resources in that toolkit.

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We are holding a free webinar you can join
live or you can catch up on replay, all

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about how to beat burnout in healthcare
where we unpack these tools and it will

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help you get off the hamster wheel.

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And if you want a much more
structured approach with all the

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tools that we know will get you out
of overwhelm and burnout and into your

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performance zone, then do check out
the Beat Stress and Thrive course.

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It gives you practical tools like the
Zone of Power, the Drama Triangle,

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and the Prioritization Grid.

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These are things I wish I'd learned
at med school, I could tell you that

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would've made my life so much easier.

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So get whatever works for you.

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Share it with a colleague.

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Just don't sit in the pan quietly,
watching the heat going up and up and

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just hoping that something's gonna change.

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Because here's the truth, both
staying and acting, they carry costs.

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The only difference, well, the
cost of acting is often sharp and

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short term, but it is survivable.

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The cost of waiting is often long,
invisible, sometimes it's final

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From when I'm recording this
podcast, you've got just over three

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months until 2026, and if you keep
everything the same, you already know

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how it's gonna feel, so don't fall
for the comfort of familiar misery.

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By the end of this
week, choose one action.

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Send that text, book the
appointment, drop that extra

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shift, small change, cooler water.

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That's how we unfrog ourselves.

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And please do contact us if you've got
any questions, if you wanna find out

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more resources, we know how it feels.

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And we have our whole frog community of
people in exactly the same position as

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you who are cheering you on and saying,
we see you, and it's not hopeless.

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And this isn't to add extra
guilt or shame onto you.

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I said in the last podcast, if
you are in hot water and you are

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feeling it, it's not weakness.

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It's not your fault.

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It's normal.

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But you shouldn't have to stay stuck.

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You've got many more options than a frog.