Speaker:

Gluten-free. No thanks! Welcome in everybody to the Craft Beer Republic. Thanks for drinking, thanks for

Speaker:

joining. I think Flex is having a seizure over there. He's thinking about baby carrots. What's up Flex? Not much. Technically I'm in Florida right now. That's true. Broadcasting all the way from Florida from the Dick Hotel. From the future.

Speaker:

Yeah. Good Dick air. Yeah. How's the Dick air out there? Super Dicky. Yeah. Tacky. Yeah. It's real Dicky. I like it. Nice. I like to hear that. And still over here where it's a

Speaker:

little chilly though I think by the time this drops it's gonna warm up and be more Dick air-ish over here as well is our good friend Coley. Thank God I don't have a dick though. Yeah. It doesn't affect me. You have any like penis envy over there? They would make camping a lot easier I'm not gonna lie. That is true. We just find it true.

Speaker:

Yeah. But thanks for letting me come hang out with my cock out and party. You metaphorical cock. Sorry that we're us. That cock does not exist. And for people at home wondering what Dick air

Speaker:

is please just DM us and we will tell you. There's a whole discussion we had before the show started about how there's a perfect weather to make your your junk look fantastic. Your spank look. I wonder if DebsDicks.com needs a whole section about dick weather. Yeah like

Speaker:

perfect dick climates. I think that would be great. Maybe she could write something up for us. To those of you who are new to the show so so sorry. Maggie. Sorry Maggie. We may have had a few before the show started. Or maybe Maggie's curious now where to go for some good dick air. That's true. Maybe she's looking for vacation spots and wants to make sure she finds the right climate. Maggie I tell you what Nashville great dick air. Yeah. So good.

Speaker:

So sorry everybody I swear this is a beer podcast somewhere. And hey while we're talking about places to travel probably not the best dick air but shout out to Seattle Washington for being our top listening city last week. Huge. Thanks Seattle. Yeah. Thank you guys. So. All right. So much to get to. A couple of beers we're going to enjoy hopefully tonight. We've got a got a voicemail from Cheater Beer. Got some news to announce to you. Some booze news and so much more. But I say we start the show off by answering the most important question of the night. Are you in a world where craft beer is king. A world where muscles are bigger than grounders. Only one tongue can guide us. One man. One tongue. One tongue jobber. In this world we must find out what is flax drinking.

Speaker:

Now it feels like dick weather. Well well well we're here again. So today I'm drinking Milwaukee staple brewery. I believe it's. Yes. Miller Lite today. Hmm. It stinks like shit and it tastes like over over carbonated saltine crackers. Yes. Let me get much more of that please. Yeah. Thank you sir. I'll have another. Geez let me just get my monocle on for that one. Yeah. But no. So Lakefront Brewery is probably the oldest. I'm talking out of my ass right now but the oldest craft brewery in Milwaukee about 1987 I believe is when it was established and they're pretty traditional for the most part. They branch out a little bit with newer variants and styles of beer but.

Speaker:

And I'm drinking one of those today. It's the lagos Rita. And it is their margarita style ale made with water rice agave lime and orange juice salt hops and yeast. It's gluten free. Apparently that rubs people the wrong way on untapped. And salt. Gluten free. No thanks.

Speaker:

That's my favorite. Yeah. Apparently that deserves a one point five rating. But yeah. And this one has a three point five eight overall. And again for shitty shitty ratings like that and reasons why. And this has salt. You know it's crazy. And as someone who loves a goza I also love salt in my beer. Right. It just it makes it go down so much smoother. Right. So I wanted to collab with pedals to be a goza. Like I love I love salt a little bit of salt in there kind of makes you feel like you drink something healthy or something. Guava. I just think it goes well together. Keeps you hydrated. Exactly. Yeah it's an electrolyte. Yeah. It's electrolyte filled beer.

Speaker:

So this one on the nose you just get like a little bit of a lime and it's tart. You smell that tartness coming from it. Then the smell gluten free. You know what. Now that you mention it it does. No no thanks. Oh man. So we warm up the old tongue jobber. We dive right in. And it is just it's like melted margarita but like not overly iced. You know it's like water it down. Right. It's light bodied a little bit low carbonation but it's still enough to be crisp. Great lime flavor. The salt you know really comes on that back end really makes it go down.

Speaker:

Smooth makes you want to drink more and more and more. And I had this the other day when it was like 80 degrees out in Wisconsin which doesn't happen often in April there. It was some pretty solid dick air. We don't get that often in Wisconsin but we had some good dick air here. And yeah I actually thought to myself like wow I'm going to buy so much of this beer this summer because it's just you can have one at 11 in the morning if you want to because it's like four point two percent four point five percent like my kind of beer.

Speaker:

That's a lake beer. Dude it's super lake beer super all day crusher. So if you have any access to this beer and you're you enjoy sours or beers with salt or you aren't offended by gluten free beer. No thanks. Please. No Adamant. Yeah. Do yourself a favor and try this one out because it's it's delicious. And if I'm not mistaken they had a tequila barrel aged version of this beer. And I believe it won gold medal at I don't think I can't remember if it was GABF but it won a gold medal at some beer championship tourney resort. I think a lot of that beer just gave Koli the chills. It did. I twitched.

Speaker:

Yeah. A margarita style beer aged in tequila barrels. So anything I've had aged except tequila barrel tequila Merkin by Firestone. That was surprisingly not bad. That's amazing. That's really good. I don't like tequila. Everything else I've had they had in tequila. Wasn't it like didn't Stone have something. Yeah. Arrogant bastard or something. Yeah. Something aged in tequila barrels and it was barf city. Yeah. Hard pass. No thanks. I can see where it would work because it's supposed to taste like a margarita but I think I'll take the regular version. OK. OK. OK. OK. Tequila aged. No thanks.

Speaker:

Everybody's got their thing. Yeah. As we like to do whenever anybody leaves a nice rating or review on Apple podcast or wherever it is you get your podcast from I like to shout it on the show. This one I feel like comes from someone we know five stars. It says the title is almost perfect. There's great laughs each week while talking about the beautiful nectar that brings us all together. Needs more dicks though. Yeah. Yeah. I think or Maggie's just fucking with us. Maybe Maggie's fucking with us. I have a feeling it was Deb. That's really funny. Well we appreciate the five star and you know I tell people to when you know they find out that I do a podcast and they think that I do anything and I just tell them I show up and I said Greg just does all the rest. But I say you look good if you don't. Thank you so much.

Speaker:

If you don't even like beer you're going to laugh like yeah. It's guaranteed laughter. And I think so. I laugh all the time. I listen to it on my way to work and I'm like you know it's like 630 in the morning and I'm like laughing hysterically in my car by myself. And I'll be walking into work shaking my head thinking to myself I can't believe I actually fucking said that. I'll be on the couch sometimes like my AirPods and editing the show and I'll start laughing to myself and the wife looks over like what is so damn funny. Like I don't know. Flex talk about dick again or whatever. Dick whether I'm just giggling on the couch with my AirPods.

Speaker:

I feel like maybe this show has helped Deb out with that. I think we've talked enough dick today to fill her request. Yeah I think so. That's perfect. Yeah I feel like she's really going to be scouting out some dick air though now. You know she is. Next time intern Brian wants to go on vacation she's going to be calling us first. You know you like this briefcase that just has like 30 different thermometers and like checking humidities and she's getting a barometer and you're going to get a pressure and yeah you're going to get a call from her and be like so flex what part of Nashville did you stay in. I need I need cross streets. It's a perfect dick weather.

Speaker:

Well and to not disappoint Deb even more flex as this drops you're on vacation. I am in vacation. Are you. Are you ready for some dick hotel. Are you. Are you stoked. I actually am. I already sent some other friends of mine the picture of the pool to show them how big the dicks are and how a plenty they are. There's just so many of them. Yeah. But I was also thinking I can't wait to finally get there and then send you guys a pic of me in front of the dice on you dick. Yeah I cannot do it. You know where people like hold up the sign or like makes it look like they're holding you make it look like you're holding the dick. Yeah. Oh you know the one that Deb posted.

Speaker:

I know I posted recently. Yeah I said to you guys. Yeah. Can you do that for us. That would be monumental. It really would be. Yeah. I'm sure your wife would love it. I wonder if it would wind up on a Web site. Oh it might be to front page baby. I'm not famous. I'm a monumental dick. It'd be great. We got to get you business cards or it's like co-host crafty Republic. Also front page of devs dick.com put it on my resume. That'd be amazing. I'll do it. Please do. I have no shame. No we've we've very much covered that.

Speaker:

You guys have any like beer plans while you're there. Is there like another food and wine. I think last year the food one festival right. Yeah. We went October 2021. Yeah. And they had the food and wine festival at Epcot. So this year or this time of year it's the flower and garden festival. So we're more sober which was so I've heard this is actually the best festival of the year. Oh and a lot of people's favorites. And I already looked up the menu because now Disney's is really cool. Their Web site they you go to Epcot and they have all the countries and they have all the food stands as like categories and then you could tap on them for the subcategory to find out like the full menu and it shows everything they offer.

Speaker:

Food wise and beverage wise and there is a shit ton of parish around Epcot. Oh and I'm extremely excited for that because when we went two years ago parish brewing had my favorite beer of the entire trip. It was like the black currant sour with some kind of fucking like about that some wine must or something like that. And it was unreal. So I'm very excited. And they have ghosts in the machine there which I've never had yet. Oh you know. No. And Vanessa says they have it in gas stations in Florida. Yeah. I actually have it in my fridge right now. Yeah. And I've never got to try that. So I'm excited to go down there and finally be able to try that. Nice. Not going to get off the bucket list. Yeah. I'm super stoked. I can't wait to give you the actual review when I'm not actually on vacation but not technically on vacation but recording while I'm on vacation. Did I confuse anybody. I'm confused as fuck. I'm traveling.

Speaker:

Hey you like time travel though. I do. As long as it's in a DeLorean. Well I'll just get a DeLorean then. All right. You look so good in DeLorean. Wow. This is taking a turn. Am I brushing. Yeah. You got your little red vest already. It's not red but I should get a red vest. Oh I had a red vest. Didn't you dress up as Marty one year. Yeah but the only thing that I didn't have was a red vest. I had a vest but it wasn't red. Oh even my dog Marty has a red vest. Marty McFly. That's fucking tight. Mm hmm. All right. Before we talk about what we're drinking over here the homie Chu-Yu Beer has left us a voicemail. Let's hear from Chu-Yu.

Speaker:

No one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone. Yo what's up Crap Beer Republic. Chu-Yu Beer here. And guess what homies. I got to brew with 818 Brewery on Monday. Made my beer. So there you go. I wish I can put out more but Derek the brewer wants me to hold off and I get it. He wants it to be perfect. So once he gives me the thumbs up man I'm going to release the hounds.

Speaker:

Everybody's going to know about it. And my plan is to have everybody and anyone there with when Greg's recording us and we're drinking the beer that's got taken care of. My son would turn 21 and I rented out some parts of Lala's brewery. Had an amazing time. My son learned a hard lesson that you don't. That does sound amazing. 8.5 percent hazies or IPAs. So that's a lesson to be learned by a 21 year old. And it was funny. And at 21 I was drinking Bud Light. Something that I could always hold over his head for being an idiot. And third thing I will be pouring for 818 Brewery at Thousand Oaks Chili and Craft Beer and Car Show May 7th which is a Sunday. Me wifey Chu wifey sister and her husband will be there representing 818 Brewery.

Speaker:

I will be pouring my beer but I will be pouring their beers. So if you're going to be there come over and say hi. Maybe I can sneak in a couple of pours for you. I can't promise but I'll see what I can do. If you're going hit me up DM me at OG Chuyo Beer underscore and then we'll say hi. So I will be there. Greg my understanding you won't go. You're not going to be there. You're lost. I am out of town. What else. I think that's about it homie. I heard Fast and Furious 10 is coming out. Who knew Toretto still drinking Coronas and talking to the familia. But I just saw that and it made me feel fucking old bro. Like a weirdo. Fucking vault number 10 bro really. That's some fucking crazy shit. That is crazy. I want more Star Wars and less fucking Fast and Furious.

Speaker:

You know I don't know what that came out of. Well there you go. Talk about it. Be about it. Let's hear about it. This is true beer. Yeah. I will say I would much rather have more Fast and Furious than Star Wars. I disagree. I'm with you on this one. All right. Give me all the Star Wars. Give me all the Fast and Furious. They're dumb as fuck but I love them. I like the first like three or four. I never knew. I never knew Jason Momoa got into the franchise until this last movie or is this his. It's the one that's coming out that he starts in right. Oh so he was actually a movie behind. So don't ask me. OK. But it's just like how many more people can you get in these movies.

Speaker:

It's become like the fucking Marvel Universe where it's just every famous person ever. Yeah. Oh you're really popular right now. Why don't you give them this movie. It's so weird that we're gonna be out of town for the show. We've gone with you guys like for the last few years. Last year the fucking shit show though it was like they way oversold and like beer was done before like V.A.P. was done. What. It was it was not a good experience like a chili cook off. You're listening. I hope you sold less tickets. But yeah they sold so many tickets because it was like the first one after the pandemic. They just they didn't cap it. And luckily we got V.I.P. and we were able to get we were able to get some beer and it's actually where I met Ryan from Malibu. That was nice and we actually got to meet up and all that stuff. But like two hours in like an hour into the event. So two hours in if you're a V.I.P. like they were like most breweries right a beer.

Speaker:

I was talking to one of the breweries like yeah they came over and asked me to bring more beer and I said are you going to pay for it. And they said no it's a donation. It's like I'm not bringing more kegs of beer over because you guys oversold your event. Yeah it was a bit of a shit show. I hope they do a better job of regulating it this year. You think after how bad last year was. We'll see. We shall.

Speaker:

Usually where I get my first real sunburn of the year. Yeah. And I you know it's how I kick off my base. Do you get a burn at Loggerville. A little bit. The wife did. I did. Right. Right here top of my neck. Oh she got one there too. And then it's a triangle like above behind my leg. It was like a tank top. Oh yeah. I got my shoulders right. My arms. But I didn't get right here at the bottom.

Speaker:

Yeah. I mean like oh yeah. And it's like right there on top. That's a tough place to get. Yeah. Help. You need help for sure. In that spot. Yeah. The wife got like the triangle above the boobs and then like a little bit on the shoulder. Yeah. You have fun and don't forget our live show at 8 when I say it's ours for his beer. It's May 13th Saturday May 13th coming out to a brewing Canoga Park California live show. He's gonna release his beer that I'm not allowed to say on the show what it is but you know what it is.

Speaker:

I do know what it is and I'm I'm pretty excited. It's gonna be very different. And I told Zach a couple of weeks ago that it's gonna be adjunct full and to correct me. He goes no I wanted as you had jumps in it as possible. We'll see interesting. Yeah especially especially since I know what it is to know that there's almost no adjuncts and I'm like hmm wonder how you can achieve that. So I'm excited to see.

Speaker:

Okay I'm adding it to my May 13th 2 p.m. showtime 2 p.m. Nice and early just like yeah the whole day drinking though. Oh yeah. Can't wait. All right. I think it's time we make a call to Penn over. He calls to the bullpen for beer.

Speaker:

Speaking of live shows we are drinking Pedals and Pints the Darby pale. This is a collaboration with the booze league and pedals. It's me. It's my second favorite pedals and pines collaboration. I really enjoy the way this came out. The stats 6.6 percent 55 IBUs not enough radiance on untapped and they say collaboration with Boozley light crisp and notes of citrus floral and sweet and flavor and nose and that nailed it.

Speaker:

I get so much floral on the nose and the tongue. I get more floral than citrus actually finishes nice and dry nice and dank and dry enough to keep you on come back for more. I was so impressed with Monica's recipe for this fucking best. She really is like I just I'm happy with everything she makes. She's so good. Do you remember what hops are in this one since you were part of it. I could have pulled that up.

Speaker:

I just found it. Sorry to put you on the spot. H Laurel not Yanni HBC 586 you cannot HBC 630 is Zaka and Citra. There we go. A nice little hop line up in the in the pool there and I really enjoy it. Still waiting for that 586 to get its own goddamn name already. No flex is so upset with that one. Never happen to call it the Saturn hop. I feel like that sounds really fucking cool. Why Saturn. I don't know what does the first weird word that crossed my mind like what can we hop Saturn hop. Yeah. Yeah. How do they come up with names. It should be Uranus.

Speaker:

Because who doesn't love putting Uranus in your mouth. I was going to say that everyone will eat it. That meme that goes around that it says like people nowadays be an ass but I'll still request a new fork when theirs falls on the ground. All the memes about eating ass make me giggle. Yeah it is pretty good. I would love to see a beer that says like double dry hopped with Uranus. So good. Try or double dry hopped with Uranus pale ale. Yeah. That's come on. Come on hop namers. Get on this shit. Get on it. Hop council. I don't know. It's good for a podcast.

Speaker:

Pop Republic. Pop Republic. Wow. That's a hop council. Yeah. All right. Luke Chris libation law. This comes to us thanks to Arizona. They say it's not illegal. Wow. It's not illegal to simply be drunk in public. We're here like in California. It's very legal to be like drunk in public. However people can be arrested for disorderly conduct if they're being disruptive or offensive. Okay. Okay. You know walking into police stations flooding them. You know. Yeah. That's normal stuff right. Fucking Joe. Yeah. That's it. It's pretty legit right. Like you can get drunk and not be afraid to like be having a good time. Just don't act like a shit head. Yeah. It's kind of like Vegas man. Nothing. Nothing I love more than going to Vegas and just grabbing my wabs and walking around the strip.

Speaker:

No there's nothing like it on those cargo shorts. We need a Vegas trip. I don't know. We will probably probably be going in like October or November. Are you. Yeah. Like family trip. No like anniversary trip. Oh couple things. Well if you want us to interrupt during when we were young fast. I'm saying like if maybe you have a plan a trip at the same weekend. It it's not too far off actually. My one time we went when my wife turned 30. So that was a couple years ago. Last year my. Yes exactly. My best friend actually just so happened to be going to Vegas for a conference that same exact weekend. You know what. I think I have one too. Oh shoot. Yes.

Speaker:

I'm not exactly positive. I just know it's either going to be October or it's the October or November. We don't have a date set in stone. OK. You make this work. All right. A little bit of booze news. Heineken this is so weird to me. Heineken USA is cutting draft sales from five of the states they distribute to for a whole year. So just like we're not going to send you beer for a year to these five states.

Speaker:

What you saw is that is that Bill Gates. No it's like some weird like restructuring and whatever thing and they're trying this out. It's a year long trial. They are going to send them other things that they own like Lagunitas but they're not going to send them straight up. I don't know. It's so fucking weird. It doesn't make any sense to me. It's like oh you hate collecting money. Is that what I'm hearing. And it's just five states five states five out of 50. Do you have the list of states. Let me see. I do. Vermont Wyoming Montana North Dakota South Dakota. OK. Now maybe it's the same thing.

Speaker:

Montana North Dakota South Dakota. OK. Now maybe it's because those are like the five states where Heineken's drink in the least ordered the least maybe for the next 12 months will no longer offer draft product for these partners in these markets core brands in package formats at these locations will not be impacted. So you can still get a bottle of Heine just not a fresh one on tap which isn't actually fresh. No I mean they're not doing anybody. Yeah. Brew dog. Oh what a shame. And have another. Neither. Another well nicer brewery. Well it couldn't happen to another nicer brewery. Yeah exactly. They're closing their Pittsburgh pub. Oh yeah. What a shame that is. You know a lot of people post about being in their hotel or whatever and like Ohio or the fuck they have it. And it's just like oh yeah. It's a cool concept. There's like a beer fridge in there.

Speaker:

Yeah. And you can put your beer in the shower and stuff. It's like hey that's kind of fucking cool. But you're shit heads. And I know it's like like I bet for the price of a trip to their stupid hotel like flight and hotel and everything I could put a beer fridge in my shower. Oh 100 percent. Yeah. Yeah. And then I could be that cool. You can bring a large with you if you did a road trip. There you go. Put your own wine fridge in your own any hotel. Yeah. You're not going to offer. Sixes. Yeah they do. They're all over the place. Put one in there. Yeah they're disgusting but they still have them. Last one I stayed I was in Paso Robles. Last one I stayed out was in Ventura. Oh I've stayed at that one. The one I never say. My only only motel six story is my friend my friend Kevin was he lives on like fringe class right. Super fringe. And he was on Craigslist one day and some dude had a

Speaker:

He was like a 60 65 70 year old man who was learning how to cut hair. And he was offering to pay people to have him cut their hair. He was paying people. He was paying people. This guy's like sign me up. So my buddy Kevin who's just a 100 percent wild card through and through. Clearly took this guy up on his offer to get paid for him to get his haircut. Sure. How much do you pay him. I can't remember. This is like the actual money for the haircut. Yes. Wow. And he's like this tiny old man who's in the room like oh God.

Speaker:

Real real shit man. That's horrible. I think we say a different ones. I didn't know there was one by Tobias stayed on the one. It's like right off the freeway by on the C word. Yeah. I mean it's not like within walking distance the topo topo like right there. Maybe stretch. I like Bombay. No not over there. There might be one over there. There is one over there. That's not the one I say at the one over by the McDonald's. Yeah fucking shady as hell. Some chick wanted to hook up one time. Yeah I was in between housing. Interesting. Sounds like some good dick air. Yeah. I know the beach a little chilly. We say the one in Paso over wakeboarding at the lake because there is nothing available and it was fine.

Speaker:

I'm not gonna lie. Like I checked it for bed bugs like I check every hotel every hotel I walk into and it was clean. I mean yeah I always check for I dated actually I've dated two girls who worked at hotels. In fact they were at the same hotel and both the time. Hey not the same time because boy would that be messy. But yeah I was check. Here's something great. A dirty dog. I love it. Her beers at the mat. Zimba watch golf at all. I only watched the Masters a little bit because it was on Easter and we did like an Easter thing. Oh it was better than. Oh yeah. That's what it was on on Easter when I was at my mother in law's. And it was so boring.

Speaker:

We left because we know how much. Beers at the Masters are five dollars. That's it. Five fucking dollars. How much does it cost to get into the Masters though that I don't know. But apparently they they had this whole thing where they try to keep it approachable to people which I'm like your golf you're never approachable to people. Yeah. You're so weird. Yeah. But here's some price of five dollars beers but dollar fifty eight. Egg salad sandwich dollar fifty pimento cheese sandwich 250 chicken classic chicken sandwich 250 ham and cheese sandwich. I mean this is insane. Masters Club sandwich 250. That's algorithm to a T. Right. I read all our barbecue.

Speaker:

I would wait in a salad sandwiches for a dollar fifty. Eat my weight. Georgia peach ice cream sandwich one dollar. I don't know what a pimento sandwiches but I would eat it for a buck fifty. Right. Pimento cheese. It sounds great. Yeah. Sausage biscuit a dollar fifty. Here's the one thing that bucks the trend like everything's very cheap. And then all sudden fresh brewed coffee dollar fifty. It's like I get a sandwich for the same price as a coffee. Coffee doesn't make cost anything to make. That's kind of weird.

Speaker:

Well that's where they're getting their profit. Yeah I guess so. Here's the insane part about the beer being five dollars is imported domestic light beer four dollars. So if you want to buy lighter whatever four bucks imported beer five bucks American craft beer five bucks. What do they have there for American craft. It does not. So are we going to the Masters next year. GAB Masters next year. I didn't know I liked golf until about five minutes ago. Oh you know I went to the waste management open in Arizona. It's in Phoenix or Scott. No it's in Scott like the wasted. Yeah. That's what they call it. It's absolutely insane. And there's this whole called the 16th hole and that's where everyone's loud. There's like 16000 people in that entire area.

Speaker:

And everyone's one hole or 16000 people like they're across from you and the stands are like three levels four levels. And I just like how she said there's one hole called the 16th hole as if they just skipped that number. You know it comes out like all other golf courses in America or like now we're just we're going to go one through 15 skip 16 and go 17 18 19. This one place on Arizona.

Speaker:

It's insane. They have everyone heckles the golfers like it's really really loud. Everyone heckles people. The I don't know it was absolutely fucking insane and it was it was the best but drinks were not five dollars drinks were actually quite expensive at the wasted management open. Yeah it makes sense. They're going to make their money. Yeah I was I was waiting for you to say the one that bucks the trend was paying like three hundred dollars to insult Tiger Woods to his face or something like that. I don't even know if he was there the day I was there. I was there on a Friday or Saturday. I don't remember. I think at this point that's free. Yeah you think so. Yeah he needs the attention. I think he's paying us to insult him to his face. Oh so it's like a Craigslist deal.

Speaker:

Georgia wildlife officials are warning of drunk birds. So they are warning people look out for Trump.

Speaker:

How do you like is that like a news headline like it's the four o'clock evening news and it's like down down down like on today's show drunk birds watch out for them. It's like the iguanas in Florida that were falling from the tree because the temperatures got so cold they froze. What like fainting goats. It was like you know they need a certain temperature. They don't die once they warm up they come back to life and people were people were saving them right there put them in their car.

Speaker:

Then these fuckers were waking up and they're like yeah. But yeah people are saying watch out because they you know they live in the trees and temperatures were unseasonably cold. They're not normal and they fell from the trees onto people's heads as they were walking and they were like oh my God please be careful. That's insane. Look at it raining. It was like the headline literally it's like raining lizards everyone in Florida watch out that a real lizard head or you have to see dogs and cats living together.

Speaker:

Mass hysteria sometimes I'm looking for drunk stories that come across these like police blotters or some nerd who listens to his scanner and then like writes down what he hears you know I love to this one. Go on 150 a.m. a 41 year old drone township woman called 911 to report that a vehicle was stalking her. It was found that the woman was highly intoxicated and lives on a busy roadway.

Speaker:

Debbie spoke with a 21 year old son who said nothing suspicious had been going on that night. Then the woman was warned against misusing 911. Wow. Yeah. The car was stalking her. You're like you're in your driveway. Yeah. It's you crazy crazy. She keeps looking in her rearview mirror and she just sees the taillights and the reflection of like the neighbor's house.

Speaker:

Get away from me. Her own taillights like against the garage or something. Right. This one I pulled for flex. It's you know your whole vacation situation. Okay. Florida man gets drunk at Disney Springs. Warns police that they better hope he never is their nurse. Then his family abandons him.

Speaker:

Took a turn. Yeah. A Florida man who said he was a registered nurse threatened Orange County sheriff's deputies after he was arrested following a drunken scene at Disney Springs. Edward Stevenson 30 of Brandon. Is that a city or is that his boyfriend 30.

Speaker:

Pleaded not guilty to trespass according to Orange County Circuit records. How do you trespass if you're on. Yeah. It's like it's open to the public. Right. It took three deputies to place his arms behind his back and secure him. Orange County sheriff's arrest report said once secured he continued to tell deputies he was going to sue deputies.

Speaker:

Mr. Stevenson also advised he was a registered nurse and told deputies we better hope he is never our nurse in an emergency room. The incident occurred on January 15th and they're just releasing the document a couple of months later. He attracted law enforcement's attention because he was being belligerent and cursing at children.

Speaker:

The happiest place on earth. Yeah. Or fuckers. He was reported making inappropriate comments to juveniles at once upon a toy and visited several stores at Disney Springs. Disney security asked Stevenson to leave but then he turned his anger on the security employees swearing at them and making derogatory comments.

Speaker:

Oh, that's never good. Disney wanted Stevenson trespassed. So is that like a we don't want you here anymore. So now you're trespassing. Maybe. I've never heard that before. I've never heard of one. Someone trespassed. Yeah. Maybe maybe you can get him like banned or like it's weird restraining order type.

Speaker:

It sounds like some shit Disney made up and law enforcement was like, yeah, you got it. Stevenson's brother tried to help calm him down, but Stevenson clenched his fists and apparently was ready to fight him. So the brother left him. Then Stevenson was escorted to the Lime Garage where a family member was supposed to pick him up.

Speaker:

But it was later determined that Mr. Stevenson had upset his family because of his actions and they refused to come pick him up. Now that meant that Stevenson had to take an Uber to get off Disney property. So they didn't arrest him. Not yet. As law enforcement led him to the pickup area, Stevenson recorded them on his phone. While doing so, he continued to walk and not change direction when small children and families were walking.

Speaker:

Oh my God. He would sway into their paths and then tell them to get out of his way while waving his trespass warning in their faces. Mr. Stevenson was told multiple times to keep walking towards the exit and he would stop to record and curse at deputies.

Speaker:

He refused to call an Uber and was still acting aggressively with families and young children around him. Stevenson got so close to law enforcement, he accidentally spat in one deputy's face. Oh, big mistake. He's lucky he didn't get shot. As deputies tried to pull or tried to put him into handcuffs, Stevenson braced his arms.

Speaker:

He made the comments that he was a registered nurse before he was taken to the Orange County Jail. His attorney is asking the state attorney's office to put Stevenson in a pre-trial diversion program. Did not respond for a request for comment. The latest in the series of drunk, disruptive guests at Disney Springs.

Speaker:

Soon to be one Flexi-Liz. That's not true. Although I am going to like Amazon Fresh some beer to my room this time. Can you do that? Yeah. So that was like the coolest thing going down there, you know, because my kids, I don't know if most kids, I don't know how I was raised.

Speaker:

Milk, big milk drinkers, right? So you can't pack milk in a suitcase because a little weird. Unless you're Clark Griswold. Yeah, yeah, maybe shelf stable. It would just be gross. Yeah. So when we went down there last time, we did the Amazon Fresh thing and they got us our stuff and they delivered it right to the hotel and it was super neat.

Speaker:

And for some reason, I didn't think about getting beer. Well, that was silly. Yeah, it was. It was super silly. So now this time I already have it in my head. Hey, when I put in the order, when we get there, order some kind of beer.

Speaker:

Smart, which I'm sure it's just going to be like Cigar City Highlight or something like you can't go wrong with that. No, it's classic. Classic. Classic for a reason. Yeah. Yeah. So, well, whatever. I'll have some beer in the room and I'll be a happy camper. Yeah. Maybe you can meet up with this guy and go tell some kids to fuck off and good times.

Speaker:

Yeah. I have like a little kitchenette in the room. No, no, no. It's like a fridge. Yeah, there's like a little tiny fridge. But like when you go to Disney, like when you stay at a Disney resort on the property, people are there to like not stay at the hotel. Right. Yeah.

Speaker:

It's like you basically just use the room to sleep shit shower and do it. Well, that's what the shower is for. I'll say I've never been a guy. Keep it clean. I love shower sex. It's is Nick taller than you, though. Oh, yeah. Then I'll tell you what you like it. Nick does not like it.

Speaker:

Well, you're not what Nick tells me when you're like when you're the guy you're like, like my wife is five feet and I'm five eight. Right. So you got eight inches on her. The the squat down is horrible. It's like a static squat. And by the time you're done, your legs are just on fire.

Speaker:

Oh, maybe maybe it doesn't take that long to get done. Then I don't know. He never complains about it. Like my wife's a solid eight inches shorter than me, I would say. Well, I'm five six. Nick is like six six one. Yeah. He's probably like six one. So I'm I'm six on a good day. You guys are probably you guys are about the same height. He's got a smidge on me.

Speaker:

Just OK. Well, just a cunt hair above me. I love that word. I love that word. I never say it. Shannon's shorter than you are. Yeah. I'd say I got eight inches on her. And I'm also eight inches taller. Well, he's never he's never complained. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't say you don't have a squat down.

Speaker:

Well, OK, so I mean, I'm sure a little bit. I mean, I don't know. I'm not I'm not staring behind me. So I don't know. Now I'm going to take no. I just I just, you know, like spread the dirt. I spread the legs a little bit to lower me. Well, yeah. But you're in like a static squat position.

Speaker:

Maybe I'm just too busy enjoying what I'm doing. I don't pay attention to the burning. Maybe next next time. Just pay a little attention. Now, all I'm going to think about is you and I'm having shower sex. Oh, my God. The worst thing. How is that any different than normal? I can't believe we're talking about this. You finish faster than ever. Well,

Speaker:

there are no flex. And I talked about this. And God damn, my legs burn. That's all the burns. How dare you? Yeah. We'll talk strategy off air. But well, I was just anyway, looping this background, I was asking if there was like a kitchenette

Speaker:

because when we went to the Alani in September in Hawaii, we stayed in a two room suite or whatever a bunk. I don't know what they call it. It was like two bedrooms across the room from each other and a common area with a full kitchen. And we cooked the best breakfast and dinner

Speaker:

every night and morning. It's nice to save a little money on breakfast and dinner. It was great. I mean, you want to go out for a couple of dinners. We went out for like two. Yeah. We were there seven days. So, yeah. Well, dinners. Yeah. Yeah. No, we go there. It's just like we're in the parks basically from like when we go to Magic Kingdom, we'll be there from like eight thirty to eight

Speaker:

thirty nine at night. You know, so be like a full twelve, thirteen hour day. Yeah, that's a long day. Other days it's park at seven thirty or eight thirty whenever they open and then come home or like go back to a hotel room for like an hour, chill out, recoup and then head back out on the

Speaker:

town. Yeah. I haven't been to Disney World in probably coming up on 10 years, but when we did it, I was like super anal about like getting as much time as possible. Yeah. I made the calendar with like who's got the morning magic hours, which is you can get it in an hour early if you're staying on property. I was like, who's got the morning magic hours? Who's got the nighttime

Speaker:

magic hours? And I will start here. We'll go there. And that was a little insane. So every park has like if you stay on the Disney property, you get in at any park like 30 minutes before they open. Oh, it used to be one park a day would open an hour early to property people. Yeah,

Speaker:

no, no, it's different. It's any park you go to for the day. You can get in a half an hour early. Well, there goes all my planning. Oh, shucks. I still have it on my calendar on my Mac. How you can have like nine hundred calendars. I still have like Magic Kingdom Epcot because I fucking

Speaker:

had it all all scheduled. I'm a nerd. I'll stop talking. I was going to say I'm trying to act like I'm shocked about the typical Greg. Everyone's like, wait, you have showers. I do. He actually has a plan. It's in his calendar. He calendars when he's supposed to do it.

Speaker:

I have a category for shower sex, for regular sex. Yeah. Wife's like, what day is today? Like today's shower. None of that is true, by the way. She's happy to have you around. Yeah, we'll see about that. Anyway, not after this episode. Yeah, it's a good thing. She doesn't really listen.

Speaker:

Anyways, so don't laugh when you're editing this episode. And why I'm laughing. Yeah. Or maybe then like if you laugh too much, you'll be like, oh, maybe I'll listen to this. Oh, yeah. Right. I can tell you what I'm not laughing at. I'm not laughing about me talking about planning shower sex.

Speaker:

That's stupid. Who would laugh about that? Oh, my face hurts. Yeah. Well, bad transition. But hi, Vanessa. Hi, Vanessa. Hello. Tell us about your show. No, I'm just kidding. Find us.

Speaker:

That beer can just went like right across. Oh, just move. I swear to God, there is a ghost in here that keeps like trying to play. Choose voicemail. It just took that beer can and pushed it right to the edge. It's probably the condensation. I'm going to go with ghost. Or ghost condensation. That's the thing. Crafter of Hope dot com at Crafter of Hope at Flex Beer

Speaker:

underscores in between. And of course, at ice cold beer underscores after each one. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for hanging out with us two weeks in a row. We got you to win. We win. We got to fucking weekday drink with us. Oh, yeah.

Speaker:

That's like more episodes of a podcast that you've done in the last year. They're trying to try. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, I think. Oh, 805. I three beer. I hope everyone