COLD OPEN

NARRATOR

Welcome back, listeners! It's another exciting day in the city of Megalopolis; where the superheroes save the day and the lawyers save the superheroes!

We recently left young Harper starting their journey as a juror in Cole Castillo’s latest case, after the plaintiff attorney Allitigator let them serve despite having a perfectly good challenge for cause available to him! Now they’re cut off from their colleagues by the rules, and seeing the legal system from a whole new angle!

But before we resume their time in court, let’s take a peek at the past…to the accident being litigated!

[in a car]

MELISSA

I can’t turn there you stupid phone, it’s one way!

GPS

Turn right.

MELISSA

Are you trying to get me pulled over?

[to herself as the turn signal ticks and she turns]

Ugh, move to Megalopolis, I said. It’ll be exciting, I said. Confusing roads and shitty GPS signal is not my idea of excitement! And I’ve yet to see a single super...anything! Villain, hero, gadget, vehicle…

[sudden car crash sounds, no brakes just crash and airbag and a startled yell]

MELISSA

Oh, god, what did I hit? What did I hit, I don’t see anything! There’s nothing there!

[theme song]

SCENE ONE

HARPER

Oh man, I’m nervous. First jury duty! Why do you think it took so long to let us in here? Oh, I bet they were having some sort of hearing…

PIKE

[irritated, we’ve-had-this-conversation-before voice]

I don’t know. I don’t know anything more than you.

HARPER

Oh no, what if they were having a hearing about me?

PIKE

Why would they be doing that?

HARPER

I don’t know! I just wanna do a good job. I may not get this chance again.

JAY

No shit, you shouldn’t even be on this jury.

PIKE

Yeah, just wanting to be on the jury should disqualify you. Nobody wants to be on a jury!

JAY

It does say something about their mental state, them wanting to be here… but even if they didn’t, I doubt they could have gotten out of it. That sexy crocodile lawyer man had a chance to drop them and he didn’t!

PIKE

[ignores the sexy part for now]

Heh, true. It’s not like they were good at hiding the reasons they shouldn’t be here.

HARPER

I wasn’t trying to hide anything! And he’s part alligator, not crocodile.

JAY

[ignoring Harper]

Exactly. There’s something else going on.

HARPER

[intrigued]

Do you think there’s a conspiracy?

JAY

What? No. I think he’s drunk. Or has the hots for you.

HARPER

Oh. I hope it’s not the second one. That would cause problems for me at work.

JAY

Might be worth it.

TRE

Okay.

BAILIFF

All rise for the Honorable Judge Leslie Feiner.

STENOGRAPHER

[bored]

We’re on the record, Kurt Rapaport reporting.

JUDGE

Thank you Mr. Rapaport. People of the jury–go ahead and sit down–let’s go over the rules again. As we covered before, you may not discuss this case outside of the courthouse. Not with your families, not with the press, not with each other and —

[pause as she looks at Harper]

— not with your coworkers.

[sigh, then back to the spiel she’s given a thousand times]

Should you encounter any individuals with telepathic or empathic abilities, you are obligated to do your best to conceal your thoughts and feelings about the case. Sing a catchy song in your mind, think in a language they don’t speak, or if necessary remove yourself from their presence.

You are not to conduct independent research or investigation into the facts of this case. That includes reading or viewing the news coverage of the case. The defendant, Spectaculass, is a public figure, and this case is likely to garner some media attention. It is your responsibility to avoid contributing to it or exposing yourself to it. You will remain sequestered during the day to avoid at least some of that attention, but the court has determined that you may go home at night.

HARPER

[whispers]

Oh, I bet that’s what they were talking about before we came in!

JUDGE

To the extent you have them under control, you may not use your superpowers in this courtroom. It is disruptive, and may impact proceedings in unpredictable ways.

Finally, you are not to speak while court is in session. If you have questions, you may submit them to me through my bailiff during recess or deliberation and I will determine whether they should be answered.

Please nod if you understand these rules.

[pause]

Thank you.

Counsel, you may begin opening statements.

ALLITIGATOR

Thank you, Your Honor.

[Allitigator kind of sounds like he’s threatening the jury because of his monster voice, but in a very obligatory way. He’s rather dispassionate.]

People of the jury, my client suffered a dangerous collision with an extranormal vehicle, one entirely invisible to the naked eye. An invisible jet, parked, as I intend to show, illegally.

We who are blessed or cursed with extrahuman abilities, or extraordinary technology, have a responsibility, do we not? A responsibility not necessarily to use that power to help–although to do so as a hero is certainly a valid choice–but at the very least to use our powers sensibly, in ways that do not harm or endanger those around us. To consider the impact we have on others. In this case, to park carefully.

JAY

[swooning a bit]

I have never cared so much about parking laws…

ALLITIGATOR

To park carefully so that people like my client, a young woman with no extrahuman abilities, no access to extraordinary technology like the defendant has, new in town and going about her ordinary business, do not find their lives and livelihoods encroached upon.

My client, boring as she is—

MELISSA

[soft]

Hey!

ALLITIGATOR

—was just trying to get around our fair city of Megalopolis when her car struck something she could not possibly have seen. So impossible it was to see that she felt like she was being attacked, struck by something rather than striking something.

A dreadful experience, serious damage to her neck muscles, and thousands of dollars worth of car repairs. All because the defendant could not be bothered to park her invisible jet properly and safely.

I will prove, by a preponderance of evidence, that Spectaculass’s parking job was illegal and negligent, and therefore that she should pay for all damage to both vehicles. And you the jury will have no choice but to find for my client.

Thank you.

JUDGE

Thank you, counsel, I’ve got chills. Attorney for the defendant?

[COLE takes her place before the jury]

TRE

[whispering]

Hey kid, it’s your boss!

HARPER

[whispering even quieter]

We’re not supposed to talk!

COLE

Thank you, Your Honor. People of the jury, you do in fact have a choice before you, despite what my opposing counsel claims. And that’s not the only claim of his that I’m about to dispute. Mr. Allitigator would also have you believe Ms. Hodge was forced to pay for her own car repairs, and for those to the jet. This is just not true. In fact, it’s her insurance company who’s on the hook for payment, just as it’s her insurance company who hired him and brought this suit forward. This isn’t a story of a hardworking young woman losing her savings — it’s the story of a corporation not wanting to give a payout.

That said, I agree with some of Mr. Allitigator’s statements. I am glad that he brought up the concept of responsibility. Those of us with extrahuman powers do have responsibilities.

JAY

Ooh, she has powers? What are they?

HARPER

[sigh]

Fire powers.

PIKE

Hot.

HARPER

Please don’t.

COLE

But so, too, do ordinary drivers. A car is a piece of technology that can cause considerable harm, invisible or not. And as a result we as drivers have responsibilities, too. To obey the rules of the road, and posted signs.

My client, Spectaculass, parked her vehicle accordingly, in a designated space for invisible and hazardous vehicles, before joining her fellow Guardians on a mission to protect Earth.

It was in fact Ms. Hodge who disregarded, or failed to be diligent enough to notice, posted signs declaring the lot to be designated for such vehicles. It was in fact Ms. Hodge’s negligence that caused the collision and the damage to my client’s invisible jet, damage difficult enough to repair that it may delay my client in future world-saving activities.

I expect that once you have seen the pertinent evidence, you will hold Ms. Hodge responsible for her actions driving her car, and hold Mr. Allitigator’s actual client responsible for holding up its obligations to pay for it.

Thank you.

JUDGE

Thank you, counsel. And now, because I’m hungry and because we lost most of the morning to motions, let’s break for lunch. Jurors, the bailiff will guide you to your deliberation room and take lunch orders. I suggest you all use the facilities during this break as well.

[gavel, crowd murmurs]

SCENE TWO

[deliberation room]

TRE

I think it’s a mutation or something. I’ve never seen an alien with scales like that.

PIKE

They’re definitely Earth-animal scales. Crocodile, I’m telling you.

HARPER

I told you, alligator. That’s why he goes by Allitigator.

JAY

[way too interested]

Wait, you know him?

HARPER

I mean, sort of, not really…

JAY

Can you introduce me?

HARPER

…No?

PIKE

Jay, I didn’t take you for a monsterfucker.

JAY

Hey, he's a person.

TRE

Yeah, a person with pointed teeth and that gravely voice… Actually, you know what? I get it.

JAY

Besides, Pike, I saw you checking out the defendant.

PIKE

Um. Yes? It’s Spectaculass! She’s amazing! Did you see the footage of her picking up that derailed train and putting it back on track?

TRE

I did, it was pretty badass.

JAY

I didn’t, that actually sounds pretty cool.

PIKE

Here I’ll show you.

HARPER

We’re not supposed to look up stuff about the defendant!

[judgy silence]

PIKE

We’re probably not supposed to speculate about that lawyer’s tongue, either, but I didn’t see you stop Jay from going on and on–

HARPER

I don’t actually think there’s a rule against that. Although maybe there should be, I certainly don’t want people doing that to me when I’m presenting cases.

JAY

Don’t worry, your tongue isn’t that interesting.

HARPER

Anyway, we can talk about the case while we’re here, but I don’t think we should be watching videos…

TRE

It’s an old video, way before whatever she did to land here.

HARPER

How do you know? They didn’t tell us the date of the accident.

TRE

What accident?

HARPER

…The one this case is about? Her jet?

TRE

Oh, yeah, I kind of zoned out. I’ll just vote however y’all do.

HARPER

That’s– That’s not– aren’t you taking this seriously?

TRE

Oh, come on. It’s a traffic violation. I can get the jist of it pretty easily.

HARPER

But the details are important!

PIKE

We started this shit on a Tuesday at 9 AM, kid. Nothing that happens Tuesday at 9 AM is important. Now do you want to watch this video with us or not?

HARPER

No, thank you.

TRE

Suit yourself.

[video noises]

HARPER

[sighs, then says to themself]

It’s fine, I’m sure it’s fine. We haven’t even gotten to the evidence yet. Surely they’ll pay attention when things get more exciting.

PIKE

What I want to know is, how does Spectaculass manage not to flash anyone in that skirt?

SCENE THREE

[witnesses in this scene go quickly, montage-y rather than in real time]

NARRATOR/STENOGRAPHER

It’s time for…the plaintiff’s witnesses! Your name and occupation for the record?

SECURITY GUARD WITNESS

Uh, Bryan Seelagy [pronounced sihl-AH-jee, altho might be funnier mispronounced], I work security across the street from the location where the collision occurred?

ALLITIGATOR

And tell us, Mr. Seelagy, what did you witness on that day?

SECURITY GUARD

I saw Ms. Hodge’s car drive down the back road and it hit something.

ALLITIGATOR

And did you see where Spectaculass parked her invisible jet?

SECURITY GUARD

No, I couldn’t see it. It was invisible.

COLE

Were you able to tell where the jet was parked?

SECURITY GUARD

I couldn’t see it.

COLE

Were you aware there was invisivehicle parking in that block?

SECURITY GUARD

I mean, I’ve never seen any invisible vehicles there.

REN

Ren Winter, and I work construction.

KELLEY

Kelley Ess, and I’m in real estate.

ALLITIGATOR

And were you in the area on the day in question?

REN

Yes, doing road work.

KELLEY

Walking my dog.

ALLITIGATOR

And did you see what happened?

REN

Yep. Lady hit something. Couldn’t see what, guess it was invisible.

KELLEY

I saw that woman crash into Spectaculass’s invisible jet.

ALLITIGATOR

Could you see where or how the jet was parked?

REN

Nope.

KELLEY

Couldn’t see it.

REN

[duh]

It’s invisible?

COLE

Did you know there was invisivehicle parking there?

REN

I saw some signs at some point.

KELLEY

I was a little busy cleaning up dogshit, I didn’t pay attention to the signs.

ALLITIGATOR

Thank you.

COLE

Thank you.

MELISSA

My name is Melissa Hodge and I teach first grade.

ALLITIGATOR

And on the day of your accident, what happened?

MELISSA

[nervous]

I was kinda lost? I’m new here, and it’s not really easy to keep track of where things are… Anyway I was using the GPS but it kept telling me to turn at places I couldn’t, the signal wasn’t great…

ALLITIGATOR

And then what happened?

MELISSA

I hit something. I didn’t see anything, it scared the crap out of me.

COLE

And you were on the road when you hit something?

MELISSA

Well, no. I was pulling off to fix my–

COLE

So you’d pulled out of the driving lane?

MELISSA

Yes.

COLE

And did you see the signs for invisivehicle parking in that lot?

MELISSA

Well, not that I remember…

COLE

Thank you.

[montage ends; pause in proceedings as P rests]

JUDGE

Defense, have you got any witnesses?

COLE

I do, Your Honor. I’d like to call the hero Spectaculass.

JAY

[snorts like they just woke up]

Huh? What?

PIKE

[whispers]

Spectaculass is up!

TRE

Finally.

HARPER

[sighs]

SPECTACULASS

My name is Spectaculass, and I’m a licensed superhero.

COLE

Thank you. And it was your invisible jet that was struck, correct?

SPECTACULASS

That’s correct.

COLE

And how do you usually park such a vehicle?

SPECTACULASS

[wryly]

Carefully.

[jurors and spectators laugh]

COLE

And why is that?

SPECTACULASS

It’s invisible to me, too. I need to be able to remember where I parked.

COLE

Where did you park that day?

SPECTACULASS

The same place I always park when I’m in that area, there’s a lot that I reserve. You have to reserve it, so you don’t have two invisible jets trying to park on top of each other.

[more laughter]

COLE

So were you fully inside the designated lot?

SPECTACULASS

Absolutely.

COLE

How can you be so sure?

SPECTACULASS

Look, this thing’s expensive. I gotta protect it. But more than that, when I stagger back after a fight, I gotta be able to find the damn door. So I park perfectly aligned every time. It’s the only way.

[murmurs of “yeah” and “makes sense” and “she’s so hot”]

COLE

That’ll be all, Your Honor.

JUDGE

Thank you, counsel. Mr. Allitigator, your witness.

ALLITIGATOR

You park exactly there, exactly the same way, every time?

SPECTACULASS

Yes. For decades now.

ALLITIGATOR

And you’ve never had a problem?

SPECTACULASS

No.

ALLITIGATOR

How visible would you say the signs are for that lot?

SPECTACULASS

They’re not big, but there’s a Do Not Enter sign and some small signs explaining what it is. Reserved specialized parking.

ALLITIGATOR

Thank you.

SCENE FOUR

HARPER

That was an interesting session, don’t you think?

PIKE

Uhh, sure.

HARPER

I gotta say, I’m not really sure I understand the Allitigator’s strategy. He said he was going to prove that Spectaculass parked illegally, but none of his witnesses testified to that! They all just said they couldn’t see anything.

PIKE

Uh-huh.

HARPER

One of them even agreed that there were invisivehicle signs! This seems like an open-shut case, don’t you think?

PIKE

I mean…

JAY

Hey, guys, I fell asleep for some of the testimony. I miss anything good?

HARPER

You fell asleep?

PIKE

Not really. Parking tickets or something.

HARPER

What? No one got a ticket.

TRE

Oh? Then what was all that about parking?

HARPER

That was…the entire…You weren’t paying attention at all? Pike, I mean, Mr. L'oatel [luh-OH-tell], we just had a whole conversation about the case!

PIKE

Not really, I just kind of let you talk. Is that what you think conversation is like?

JAY

Hey, if they want us to stay awake they should schedule things for later than 9 AM.

TRE

And make it interesting.

PIKE

Plus…Mr. L’oatel? You know you don’t need to suck up to the jury when you’re in the jury, right?

HARPER

It is interesting! There was an invisible jet involved! And even if that wasn’t true, it’s important!

TRE

Important? Really? It’s not like anyone died.

JAY

Honestly. If I’m gonna get stuck with jury duty, I at least want to be on a murder case or something. I heard next door they’re prosecuting a baby eater.

PIKE

Yeah, this case is dumb. Nothing even blew up.

HARPER

But…

JAY

I did enjoy listening to the Allitigator’s voice, though. I think he’s gonna win.

HARPER

He had no evidence! It was a little weird, actually…

TRE

He had a whole bunch of witnesses.

HARPER

And none of them saw anything!

TRE

Well yeah, it was an invisible jet.

HARPER

But that doesn’t mean there’s evidence for his side! None of the witnesses said anything that pertained to the core legal question. They just—

JAY

Oookay, as much as I’d love to hear this, I’m gonna go call my kids before we gotta go back in.

HARPER

Wait, no! If you fell asleep you should at least let me finish explaining —

PIKE

Yeah, I think I’m gonna go grab a candy bar. Tre, you wanna join?

HARPER

I really think —

TRE

Nah, I should go hit the bathroom. I’ll see you all in there.

JAY

See you.

HARPER

Guys! Come on!

[beat, the other jurors walk away]

At least make sure you get a coffee!

SCENE FIVE

[all juror conversations are in hushed tones, while the Allitigator is acting the shit out of this. Think Ted Lasso’s “Lady Football” speech.]

JAY

[horny, in case that needs to be specified]

All right, gator man, speechify me!

PIKE

You have a problem.

HARPER

Shh! Closing statements are starting!

ALLITIGATOR

People of the jury, you’ve seen quite a bit of evidence on both sides…

HARPER

[under their breath]

Have we?

ALLITIGATOR

And maybe you feel overwhelmed. You came here from your normal lives, free of courthouse drama, free of legalese. And what wonderful lives they must be! Maybe you’d rather be there, or anywhere but here. Maybe you would rather be out, entertaining children and tourists with your mime act!

TRE

Uh, what?

ALLITIGATOR

[realizing he’s getting off track]

And…and that’s what this case feels like, right? My client, Ms. Hodge, groping her way through our fair city with a faulty GPS. Spectaculass, groping her way to the door of her invisible private jet…

[pause while he does a mime act]

PIKE

He’s actually pretty good.

TRE

Yeah, I can tell he’s miming a jet, not just any invisible vehicle.

JAY

Hey law kid, are closings usually this much fun?

HARPER

Well, I think —

JAY

Bad question, sorry, you probably think the legalese bits are fun. Is there normally this much mime?

HARPER

No there is not.

ALLITIGATOR

And you would think that someone with this much skill and passion for the art of mime would have the support of their family, right? That their father would not force them to work as a litigator when their true love is performance?

[more mime]

JAY

I mean the trapped in a box thing is cliche but he’s making it work.

ALLITIGATOR

But…we all feel trapped in our roles, don’t we? And with Ms. Hodge trapped in the role of single mother…

TRE

She's a single mother? Did we know that?

ALLITIGATOR

And Spectaculass trapped in her role of global hero… And you all, trapped in this role as our jury for this case. All you can do is your best, and make sure that the right person pays for the damages from this tragic collision. Thank you.

JUDGE

Thank you counsel. Mr. Rapaport, were you able to maintain the record of the…visuals?

STENOGRAPHER

I believe I captured it, Your Honor. Would you like me to read it back?

JUDGE

A portion, if you would.

STENOGRAPHER

[clears throat]

“Spectaculass, groping her way to the door of her invisible private jet…” Then we see a lawyer, a litigator, part man, part alligator! The Allitigator! He performs an impromptu but gripping mime act for the jury.

First, he mimes Spectaculass groping her way to the door of her invisible private jet, just as he had described… His tail and webbed claws breathing life into the petite woman he portrays! With the jury’s eyes and heart captured, The Allitigator impressively mimes the boarding of an invisible jet!

Climbing invisible stairs, certainly a classic in a mime’s repertoire. But The Allitigator conveys the steepness of the steps. Their invisibility apparent, not only in that the jury cannot see them, but also in the way his Spectaculass character must climb by feel alone.

The stair climb is immediately followed by the opening of an invisible door. A door not like one to one’s room, or to one’s home, or even to a ground-based vehicle, but to a jet! Heavy. Pressurized. Requiring great strength and know-how. And again, conveying the hero’s need to open it entirely by feel!

And then a pause in the mime act, while The Allitigator again addresses the jury with the heartfelt pain of an artist unfulfilled:

“And you would think that someone with this much skill and passion for the art of mime would have the support of their family, right? That their father would not force them to work as a litigator when their true love is performance?”

Our illustrious Allitigator then proceeds to demonstrate another mime classic: for he is trapped in an invisible box! The box shrinking around him as he tries to escape!

And then he speaks again, to skillfully connect his latest performance to his larger point in his closing argument, all without betraying the oath of the mime, to be silent during the performance itself:

“But…we all feel trapped in our roles, don’t we? And with Ms. Hodge trapped in the role of single mother…”

JUDGE

Thank you, Mr. Rapaport, that sounds sufficient. Counsel for the defense, are you prepared to give your closing?

COLE

I am, Your Honor.

People of the jury, thank you for your patience during my opposing counsel’s unusual closing statement. I intend to keep mine brief.

The parking lot used by Spectaculass for her invisible jet was a legal, designated zone for such vehicles. You’ve heard that she must have parked fully inside, or she could not have found the door, and that the plaintiff drove off the main road into the lot to adjust her GPS, not seeing the signs for the lot.

Were her actions understandable? Perhaps. But they were legally negligent, unreasonable as a matter of law by ignoring posted signage. You may feel bad for her, and for holding her liable, but this is exactly the kind of scenario we have insurance for.

Thank you.

NARRATOR

The case was done, Harper Hallo’s first legal case from a new perspective.

[ominous]

And probably their last.

[normal voice]

You know, because only a part-alligator lawyer who really wanted to get fired so he could be a mime would ever let them on a jury. But that’s okay, because they’ll be back in court plenty of times to see the especially handsome stenographer at work!

[dramatic]

But now, it was time for…deliberation. I’m certain the jurors will treat it with the solemnity it deserves.

SCENE SIX

HARPER

[cautious, expecting the worst]

So… seems pretty clear-cut, right?

JAY

I say we go with the hot alligator man’s side.

HARPER

Really?!

JAY

Yeah! I told you before that I thought he was winning.

HARPER

And I told you that he had no evidence! Which he doesn’t!

[deep breath, Harper calms themself]

Okay. Why do you think the plaintiff should win?

JAY

Alligator man was the plaintiff?

HARPER

Oh my god.

PIKE

I’ll answer your question, Harper. Jay obviously wants Allitigator to win because they think he’s hot, which is stupid.

HARPER

Thank you!

PIKE

Spectaculass should win. She’s way hotter.

HARPER

What???

PIKE

And, honestly, the defense lawyer wasn’t bad either! Hey, Harper, is she single?

HARPER

I mean, yes, but only on paper. Also how is everyone’s hotness relevant here?!

TRE

They’re right. We should go with whatever side we think is right. I mean, the single mom, right?

PIKE

No, the hero…

TRE

Oh come on, what exactly did that Melissa chick do wrong?

[beat]

No, seriously, I missed it. What did she do?

JAY

I think she hit something? Distracted driving?

HARPER

She hit an invisible jet. They talked about it literally the whole day.

TRE

Oh, well, I mean, then obviously we should let her off. Who doesn’t get distracted while driving?

HARPER

That’s not… I mean it’s not legally…

JAY

I’m just saying, alligator dude really seemed to know what he was talking about.

PIKE

Oh my god, we get it–

[Harper’s had enough, jumps up and slams their hands down on the table. Others jump.]

HARPER

Ok, look. I’ve tried to be cool about this, I know you’re all new to this–

PIKE

This has been you being cool?

HARPER

This is important, okay? Jury duty is important. That’s why it’s a duty.

TRE

Heh, duty.

HARPER

Look, I don’t know for sure why Allitigator let me on this jury. I don’t know why he only had witnesses who saw nothing–

PIKE

Well, the jet was—

HARPER

Invisible, yes, I know! But he could have put forth all sorts of evidence, someone to say the signs for parking weren’t visible, someone who thought the accident happened just outside the lot, anything. He didn’t give us anything solid!

Co– I mean, the other lawyer did. The defendant, an important hero everyone trusts, told us how the parking works, and how she’s been using it the same way for decades, and nothing Allitigator brought up on cross contradicted it at all.

[they see evidentiary arguments aren’t working, some muttered “I don’t see how this is relevant” or “but he’s hot” and “yeah, Spectaculass is awesome, exactly”]

Look, Allitigator is just doing his job, like everyone else. Sometimes part of that job is losing. And hey, you heard him! It seems like he wants to lose this one. Maybe if he does, he’ll get to do what he really wants.

[half-convinced mutters of “he did seem like he wants us to go the other way” and “that is a good point…”]

[Harper sighs, pauses as they prepare to make an argument they hate]

And look. If you vote the way of the evidence, and Allitigator gets fired and gets to become a mime, his outfits will be much. More. Flattering.

JAY

You know that is an excellent point.

PIKE

Yeah, I mean, this would make pretty much everyone happy, wouldn’t it.

TRE

And he did say it’s the insurance company that would pay, right?

JAY

Mime outfits are pretty tight-fit, right?

HARPER

[sigh]

Yeah.

CUT TO…

HARPER

We the jury find in favor of…the defendant, Spectaculass.

SCENE SEVEN

[crowd noises as Harper walks out of the courtroom into the halls of the courthouse]

ALLITIGATOR

[fades in as Harper gets closer]

Wait, am I fired or not?

[beat]

So I was fired.

[beat]

And now I’m not?

[beat]

Promoted!?

[beat]

But I lost the case! I did everything wrong! ...It was my dad, wasn’t it. What’s it gonna take to convince him?

[beat]

Yeah, I know. Thanks, I’ll see you back at the office.

HARPER

Um, hi. Are you ok?

ALLITIGATOR

Oh, hey kid. Thanks, by the way. I know it was you that made that go the way it needed to.

HARPER

I mean, I followed the evidence.

ALLITIGATOR

I thought you might. They rarely do.

HARPER

… are juries always like this?

ALLITIGATOR

Honestly, this was one of the better ones.

HARPER

… wow.

ALLITIGATOR

Yeah. One of many reasons I want to get out of law. Dad.

HARPER

I’m sorry. I… I do understand what it’s like. To want something different, I mean. From what your family wants.

ALLITIGATOR

[growls]

Then don’t wait, kid. Go for it early before their hooks are really in you.

[as he walks away, extra growly]

I would be such a great mime, too. I guess I’ll just have to keep trying. Something bigger. Bigger screw-ups at the firm. Then he’ll have to support another career…

[Harper’s phone buzzes or rings]

HARPER

Ms. Castillo?

COLE

Hey, kid. So what’d you think? Your first behind-the-scenes look at the jury process.

HARPER

[like a liar]

Oh, it was great. I mean, really interesting.

COLE

[sees right through them]

Mm-hmm. Interesting is one word for it.

HARPER

Yeah, I mean they weren’t as logical as I’d have wanted… But I just have to learn more! I’ll figure out a way to make sure juries in my cases always understand them, see what the cases are really about.

COLE

Hey, kid, I mean this in every possible way: Good luck with that.

NARRATOR

Yes, Harper Hallo, we wish you luck in all your endeavors!

We'll see you again soon listener; for wherever there are lawyers being super, there are supers needing lawyers. Join us next time for another exciting day in the city of Megalopolis, here on Super Suits!