Welcome to the Masterful Coach podcast with Molly Claire. If
Speaker:you're a coach who's ready to impact more lives, make more money,
Speaker:and create a life you love, you're in exactly the right
Speaker:place. Get the support you deserve as a female
Speaker:entrepreneur, master your coaching skills, grow your
Speaker:ideal business, and honor your priorities in your personal
Speaker:life. Are you in? Let's get started with your
Speaker:host, bestselling author and master life and business
Speaker:coach, Molly Claire.
Speaker:Hey, coaches. Today's interview with Sarah Walton of Game
Speaker:on Girlfriend is such an important topic. We
Speaker:are talking about the care gap among women and we're
Speaker:talking about how this impacts how much
Speaker:you as a female business owner
Speaker:are making in your business. It affects the
Speaker:extent to which you are burned out, stressed out,
Speaker:overworked, and maybe even struggling to meet
Speaker:your goals and create more ease in your life. This is such
Speaker:an important topic. And by the way, you're going to love Sarah. I
Speaker:connected with Sarah because we thought we would be a great fit to go on
Speaker:each other's podcasts. And isn't it so fun when you
Speaker:connect with someone and realize maybe perhaps you
Speaker:were meant to be business BFF's? So
Speaker:Sarah is amazing. This is such a great episode. I know you're going to love
Speaker:it. I want to let you all know that enrollment for Master Coach
Speaker:Training is open. We are finalizing enrollment this week.
Speaker:For those of you that want to join, continued education calls this
Speaker:summer, listen to me. Master Coach training is
Speaker:an unmatched experience. Every single one
Speaker:of my students in there is having deep personal
Speaker:transformations. What I keep hearing time and again from
Speaker:every one of them is how much better and easier
Speaker:their experience of their life and business is. It is
Speaker:a nurturing, supportive experience that truly
Speaker:allows you as a coach and as a
Speaker:CEO and as a human being first and foremost, to have
Speaker:the deep transformation that you can then lead the way
Speaker:as you help your client to change their life,
Speaker:change themselves inside and out, and create
Speaker:exactly what they want with in regard to their goals.
Speaker:So check out mollyclaire.com. there is a video there. Watch the
Speaker:video, submit your application. And we are going to
Speaker:have an incredible, incredible journey
Speaker:starting in September. So again, if you want to be a part of continued education
Speaker:calls this summer, do not delay. We are finalizing
Speaker:that. All right, coaches, get ready for
Speaker:an awesome interview. All right, coaches, so I
Speaker:have Sarah Walton here of the Game
Speaker:on Girlfriend podcast and more. Hello, Sarah.
Speaker:Welcome. Molly. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so
Speaker:happy to be here. So happy. We had so much fun
Speaker:when you interviewed me that we just, we had to do it again.
Speaker:So maybe we'll just keep going back and forth, and our audience
Speaker:will just hear the two of us. I'm so game for that. Let's do it.
Speaker:I'm in. Okay, so, Sarah, tell
Speaker:my audience, what do you do and why do you love it?
Speaker:Well, I know we don't have all the time in the world, but the bottom
Speaker:line is, my motto is that I put more money in the hands of more
Speaker:women, and I do that through business slash life
Speaker:coaching. I really do deep dive onto our relationship to
Speaker:money, and I talk a lot about our pricing and what we're
Speaker:offering the world and why that's what we're choosing to offer the world and really
Speaker:creating not just a sense of purpose, because I don't believe in.
Speaker:I believe, you know... What was that? You don't believe in what? The purpose.
Speaker:Right. Like, the big in lights. Here's my purpose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like,
Speaker:this is the purpose. Yeah. It's like, in this moment,
Speaker:I really feel this urge to, like, text my old friend Joe from accounting. I
Speaker:don't know, like, being in that. And then you make his day, or he introduces
Speaker:you to someone who needs your help. Like, that's what we all do on
Speaker:purpose all the time. And I think that's so important. And I
Speaker:do this, and this is so critical to me as a human
Speaker:because I was raised in an incredibly poor environment.
Speaker:I look back on it now. I don't. Well, if you've ever had that experience
Speaker:where you're like, "I'm sorry, you did what when you raised me, now?" But, like,
Speaker:we had no money. I was raised with a single mother, and my younger
Speaker:half brother was was living with us. And, I mean, there
Speaker:were times we would have, you know, like, half a loaf of
Speaker:bread and a jar of honey at- The end. No mustard, no
Speaker:cat- Like, that was it. And when I
Speaker:wanted to join the dance team when I was 16, because where I was raised,
Speaker:there wasn't much else to do, so. So I did. And, um, you know, I
Speaker:made the team, which was exciting. I learned dance from watching Paula Abdul and
Speaker:Janet Jackson in the basement. Yes. I'm that old. Oh, my gosh, the
Speaker:best. I could throw a chair with the best of them, like, get out the
Speaker:way. I can dance with cartoon characters. Yeah, it was kind of like that. And
Speaker:I. You know, I just wanted to dance so badly. And once I made the
Speaker:team, which was amazing, I worked so hard to get on that team,
Speaker:is, you know, they send the letter with, like, how much it's going to
Speaker:cost. And I don't know if you've ever had one of those moments where you
Speaker:have, like, an out of body experience and you watch yourself go through something,
Speaker:but that's what that was like, I like, remember my mouth went dry, my
Speaker:hands got sweaty, my stomach dropped through the floor, and it was like, I
Speaker:can't do this. This is something I've wanted to do since I was five. I
Speaker:cannot do this. What I did is I went and got a job at the
Speaker:mall. It was the eighties. It was cool. If you don't know what a mall
Speaker:is, just think Stranger Things. And anyway, so I got a job at, like, a
Speaker:little kiosk in the mall, and I'm so super excited. And I went to go
Speaker:cash my check, and at the time, I didn't have a bank account, but you
Speaker:could, like, cash checks at grocery stores. This was a thing. They had a service
Speaker:desk, and they actually, you know, served people. This was nice.
Speaker:So I walked in with my little check in my hand, and as we're walking
Speaker:in, my mom said, "Sarah, the strawberries are on sale. Can we get some?"
Speaker:So I'm thinking of my costume, right, that I've wanted since I was
Speaker:five. I'm thinking costume, I'm thinking of the strawberries, and I'm like, I
Speaker:can do both. This is amazing. So I said, go get the strawberries. I
Speaker:went to go get my check cash. I now have the money in hand. And
Speaker:I go to find my mom in the express checkout, and she's not there. And
Speaker:I'm looking up and down and up and down, and
Speaker:I find her in line with a cart full of groceries. And
Speaker:in that cart is, like, lunch meats and bread for my brother's
Speaker:lunches, you know, his favorite breakfast cereal, some milk, the damn strawberries,
Speaker:right? And I'm standing there and I'm like, I can pay
Speaker:for these groceries, or I can pay for something I wanted my whole life,
Speaker:but I can't do both. And that was the day I decided
Speaker:I can take care of my family or I can take care of myself. And
Speaker:I know that's what I decided as I was only 16, but I made that
Speaker:very clear decision all the way up to follow me. I'm the only woman in
Speaker:my family. I have 65 cousins. I'm the only one in my family to have
Speaker:gotten a college degree. I moved to New York City. I now have this killer
Speaker:job. I've got this gorgeous glass corner office. I'm sick
Speaker:all the time I never see my children, I'm totally miserable. But guess what?
Speaker:My family's being taken care of because I decided I could only do one or
Speaker:the other. Yes. That was the day in my office when I
Speaker:was hearing the clock tick in my little office, like, ticking away the seconds of
Speaker:my life, right? I'm like, oh, my God. I decided this- It was
Speaker:like this really wild moment in the middle of New York City. I'm like,
Speaker:I did this. Wait a minute. But if I did this, I can undo it.
Speaker:And as I was building that career all this time, I would
Speaker:walk into business meeting after business meeting, you know, talking about
Speaker:morale, talking about ethics, talking about the work environment, talking about financial
Speaker:projections. And I was like, why am I the only woman in this
Speaker:room? This is like fourth grade math. Oh, and by the way,
Speaker:ethics and morale and company environment. Like, we kill
Speaker:at this. Why am I the only one in here? And at that
Speaker:moment, I got up and quit. To be honest, there's, like, a Sarah shaped hole
Speaker:in the wall where I ran away. But I, like, took all of that knowledge
Speaker:I had, and I was like, I'm going to teach this to every freaking woman
Speaker:who will listen to me. Because we need to know how to do this. Because
Speaker:we need more money in the hands of more women. Because when there's
Speaker:more money in the hands of women, we do awesome stuff. Nothing
Speaker:bad has ever happened when women have more money. We don't like to just the
Speaker:tips base. We don't do any of that stuff. We take care
Speaker:of other people. And I, you know, I watch us drop bombs
Speaker:within inches of where we want them to go. You cannot tell me we
Speaker:can't turn that into food, water, and medicine. And if we had women making these
Speaker:decisions, it would be food, water, and medicine, because we don't bomb each other's
Speaker:children. And that's. You ask me why I do what I
Speaker:do. That's why I do what I do. This is the
Speaker:best introduction to a podcast ever. I mean,
Speaker:really seriously, because it's like. I mean, I
Speaker:just appreciate so much you sharing that,
Speaker:because it's, it's very true
Speaker:that across the board, I come, I come up against this all
Speaker:the time with my clients. I know I experienced this. Like,
Speaker:you can't have both. I can either make money or I can take care of
Speaker:my family. I can't have both. And I love that you had
Speaker:the wisdom and the insight to realize that there was a moment that
Speaker:you really solidified that belief for you and decided it didn't
Speaker:have to be true. It's true. And, you know, one of the things
Speaker:that, that I'm always encouraging as
Speaker:a mindset for women that have these seemingly
Speaker:competing areas of their life is thinking about, what
Speaker:if, you know, your family life and
Speaker:your financial career life are in cooperation
Speaker:together, they're in cooperation of creating what you
Speaker:ultimately want for your experience of life rather than in competition.
Speaker:Right. Because it's really true. They are two
Speaker:pieces of the bigger picture of what we want our life to be like.
Speaker:Right. Yeah. And as you were talking, I just, I love everything
Speaker:you said because that's the other thing I just want to pause
Speaker:and highlight that I hear all the time, especially with the women I work with
Speaker:who are coaches, because they're the helpers, they're the do gooders,
Speaker:and we have all of these crazy things mixed up with money. Like, we
Speaker:shouldn't want so much, we shouldn't charge so much, we shouldn't have so much. And
Speaker:it's like, no. Like, when I have more money,
Speaker:I do better things. And
Speaker:by the way, when I am not worried about
Speaker:money, how much energy do I have? I mean,
Speaker:like, give to all the best causes. So, I
Speaker:just, there are so many things about this that I love, and
Speaker:Yeah. So I just. I appreciate you sharing that as a reminder to everyone.
Speaker:Yeah. I'm just going to drop one quick thing in there, too. If women are
Speaker:afraid to charge money and women don't make what they're worth, who benefits from
Speaker:that? So, one of my favorite questions to ask is, like, where did we learn
Speaker:that? And who's benefiting from us thinking that that's real?
Speaker:Yes. Just saying.
Speaker:Yeah, I'm gonna like for everybody to do alone. I know. I'm just.
Speaker:That's why I'm being quiet. I'm like, the space I'm making is like,
Speaker:let that question in. Let's just let it be there.
Speaker:Yeah. Okay. So, having given that a
Speaker:minute today, as we were talking
Speaker:before we started recording this episode for all of you, we
Speaker:decided to talk about something very relevant to
Speaker:this and yet, like, a little bit, in a way, a sidestep from
Speaker:the money piece. But this piece that, if not
Speaker:addressed, it's like, it goes back to that war between,
Speaker:right, the money and being able to take care of everyone.
Speaker:So, tell us. Tell my audience about
Speaker:the care gap. Hmm. Just
Speaker:like, if I was a cartoon character, like, the smoke would come out of my
Speaker:ears right now. Like, this is the one where I'm like, ooga. Okay, so
Speaker:the care gap is the gap between men and women, as
Speaker:right as we're, ws we're right now in 2024. But the gap between men and
Speaker:women, as far as who's picking up the care,
Speaker:the care being the care of children, the care of a house,
Speaker:the care of pets, the administrative tasks that go along with running a
Speaker:home, the mental, physical, and emotional load of running
Speaker:life. That's what I call the care gap.
Speaker:And the gap is that women pick it up. Is- I mean, and I'm being
Speaker:very general, and I understand that. And there's always an outlier. So people want to
Speaker:be angry and email me that. I got you. I hear you 100%. Um, and
Speaker:I am speaking generally, but even then, it still tends to
Speaker:be not even. Even if a man has chosen to pause his career to. To
Speaker:fill the care gap. Awesome. It's still usually not quite equal.
Speaker:And part of this is, honestly, it's kind of cool, is physiological.
Speaker:And I'm sharing this just because it's important for us to know. So if you
Speaker:were born into a female body, we have more connective tissue
Speaker:in between the right and left hemispheres of our brain, which is just
Speaker:wild, but that allows us to cross pollinate, like,
Speaker:back and forth. People born into male bodies have less
Speaker:connective tissue, and that's why I always do this joke. I love this. I have.
Speaker:I love men. Please don't hear this incorrectly. I love men. I have five brothers,
Speaker:have a son. Love men. But if you've ever asked a man to do something
Speaker:while they're watching tv, right? And they're like, but I'm watching tv. And
Speaker:you're like, oh, my dear God. I'm carrying the baby. I'm taking out the trash,
Speaker:and I just took the dog for a walk. Could you please get- And you're
Speaker:like, I don't. And they're like, but I'm watching tv. Not trying to be a
Speaker:jerk. Their brains are wired to do one thing at a time, which, by
Speaker:the way, thank God, because we need that on the planet, right? Like,
Speaker:that's awesome. And our ability to be
Speaker:like, I'm grabbing my phone. For those of you who can't see, it's like you're
Speaker:talking phone. Yeah. Could you get that? Did you get the chicken out? Yeah. Great.
Speaker:No, send that email later. Right. Meanwhile, we're doing all of that and walking and
Speaker:sent a text. Right. We just do that. And we do that well, but that's
Speaker:what has us pick up that care gap, because we can see it. We're
Speaker:really good at it. And we just do it. But
Speaker:it's kind of by design. And that design, I'm going to
Speaker:use a phrase I did not coin. It's by, oh, my gosh, her name just
Speaker:flew out of my head. Her first name is Terry, and she wrote a really
Speaker:great book called the Boundary Boss, and she is a
Speaker:therapist in New York City. And in that book, she coins the phrase.
Speaker:It's called high functioning codependence. I know. I
Speaker:see that every time I say that. Every woman goes, I have that. I'm like,
Speaker:I haven't defined it yet. They're like, yes, but I have it. We
Speaker:talk a lot about over functioning. And when we're talking
Speaker:about relationships, when we're, we're talking about, okay,
Speaker:let's focus on how you're helping your clients and their relationships. Over
Speaker:functioning is a huge problem. It is. It is.
Speaker:Yeah. And we are, by nature, high functioners. Yes.
Speaker:But the co dependence piece is a little bit more
Speaker:insidious. And I really love how this is talked about
Speaker:in Glennon Doyle's book. Untamed is so great. Where she
Speaker:really talks about how women refer to each other as
Speaker:selfless. Oh, she's so selfless. And that's a good thing.
Speaker:Woman has no self. Let's reward that and talk about how great she is.
Speaker:Right. And before these books were written, I would say to people,
Speaker:like, isn't it amazing when a dad comes to help out with
Speaker:lunch or help out with some school activity? Everybody's like, oh, my God, you're so
Speaker:amazing. You're so great. And you're standing there going, dude, I've been here every day
Speaker:for three months, right? That's all this is dealing with the
Speaker:care gap, but it's also dealing with the way society is set up. And that
Speaker:from a very young age, we hear as females, right,
Speaker:that we hear this, like, don't cry, where's my
Speaker:pretty girl? You should smile more. All those things that we hear,
Speaker:even as a young girl, what you learn is, my
Speaker:emotions are bothering somebody. I shouldn't have them.
Speaker:And that message is, your emotions are bothering me. Please stop.
Speaker:And so we learn to tuck them away. And the more we
Speaker:tuck them away, the more we're rewarded. She's amazing. She's killing it.
Speaker:Have you seen her? She looks amazing. She runs around and you're dying inside.
Speaker:Yes. And one I always heard was, oh, Molly,
Speaker:she's so responsible. That's what I realized. And
Speaker:it seems so good, right? Like a compliment. She's so responsible. And then,
Speaker:like, as I untangle all this. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like,
Speaker:she's so responsible. How can I be more responsible? I'm like, no wonder that I
Speaker:end up being overly responsible in, like, not healthy
Speaker:ways, right? Yep. Because you get rewarded. That's the codependence
Speaker:piece. Yes. So we're naturally high functioning, and then it's like, oh, that's
Speaker:helping all of society keep up that invisible, unpaid work. Please. It
Speaker:makes everybody's life great. And please don't have emotions while you do it. Yeah. And
Speaker:so we go, okay. And it's really, we as women,
Speaker:really, I think it's so important we have these conversations because we need to support
Speaker:each other in breaking these invisible expectations. Right.
Speaker:I'm just sort of being like, are you okay? And watch, when you ask a
Speaker:mom that, are you okay? They're like, well, my kids are this, my- It's like,
Speaker:no, are you okay?And it sometimes, because we're so
Speaker:selfless, it can take us a hot second to get back to,
Speaker:am I okay? Like, you can watch people, like, 'did you pee today?' and they're
Speaker:like, 'uh, I don't know.' You know, so really helping
Speaker:each other and not judging each other when that happens, but really
Speaker:to lift any shame off of that, to lift that up as high
Speaker:as we can, I just be like, dude, I got you. I see you. I
Speaker:know. And you know what? Let's together figure out how we stop
Speaker:this. Don't take out the trash tonight. Ask someone else to do that. I stopped
Speaker:doing my children's laundry when they turned six. They are responsible for their own.
Speaker:Like, there's. We don't have to do this this way. And that actually
Speaker:serves other people when we don't. Yeah. And as you were talking, I was
Speaker:thinking, like, I want to back up a little bit because I know you said
Speaker:you're talking in generalities, and for sure, there are
Speaker:outliers, and that's amazing. And they are the
Speaker:outliers. I do want to emphasize that because this isn't just, like, something
Speaker:that we're making up. Right? Yeah. Statistics show
Speaker:that women, even in dual
Speaker:income households, in households where the woman is making more of the
Speaker:money, she is still carrying more of the load. And I don't know what
Speaker:the latest statistic is on that, but, I mean, it's, it's
Speaker:not something that we're just making up. So, yes, there are outliers,
Speaker:thank goodness. Hopefully that will become more than norm. But generally
Speaker:speaking, this is true. And the other thing I really want to highlight and
Speaker:all of my listeners those of you that are women, I want you to hear
Speaker:this, that these extra things
Speaker:that you are taking on, it's not
Speaker:just the things. It's not just the load of
Speaker:laundry or the dishes. It's not things that are necessarily
Speaker:quantifiable. But there is this whole space of
Speaker:this invisible load that, you know, Sarah
Speaker:mentioned that mental and emotional. I know. One of the things that they say
Speaker:is, like, even in the workplace, the women are the ones doing
Speaker:the activities that are connecting people, that
Speaker:are bringing, like, hey, let's help support this good cause. So
Speaker:I think there are so many emotional needs and things women
Speaker:are carrying that aren't tangible. And I want you to all remember that, that if
Speaker:you are tired and overwhelmed, there's probably a good
Speaker:reason. There probably. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not
Speaker:lazy. You're doing enough. All that stuff. Yeah. It's so funny,
Speaker:Molly. You're just reminding my son's about to go to college. Insert tears here. So
Speaker:I was just saying to him, because Mother's Day, right? And I was like, you
Speaker:have to understand the mental load of running a household. And they look like me
Speaker:like I had three heads, right? But I'm not going to raise somebody who's not
Speaker:going to know this is happening and affect it and jump in. He said, what
Speaker:do you mean? I said, do you know if the dog's been fed? It's like,
Speaker:no. I said, do you know when his next vet appointment is? He's like, no.
Speaker:I said, do you know when your next doctor appointment? He's like, no. I said,
Speaker:do you know if the trash has been taken out? He's like, no. I go,
Speaker:what are we going to have for dinner? He's like, I don't know. I go,
Speaker:do you know if there's grocery shopping been done? He's like, no. I'm like, do
Speaker:you have electric bills been paid? He was like, his. I just saw his, like,
Speaker:brain explode. I said, that's there's no blame. This is what it
Speaker:takes to run a household. And I just want you to understand,
Speaker:if you're not thinking of those things, someone else is.
Speaker:Someone else is. That's right. Yeah, that's right. And so it was such a
Speaker:beautiful conversation, especially to have on Mother's Day, right? Cause I was
Speaker:like, you gotta understand why we have Mother's Day. And
Speaker:I was kind of strict with my children on Mother's Day
Speaker:this year, where I said, if there's any mom in your life, you need to
Speaker:text today to say, Happy Mother's Day. It doesn't have to be your mom. And
Speaker:they kind of, like I said, who's driven you somewhere? Who brought a snack during
Speaker:a practice? Who's taking you home when there was an extra test? Like, who's
Speaker:taking you early to address rehearsal or a choir rehearsal? Like, all
Speaker:these things. There are moms who are doing invisible, unpaid work in your life as
Speaker:well, and you need to recognize that they've made your life better.
Speaker:Like, oh, my gosh. And then I got a text from my son's girlfriend a
Speaker:few minutes later, so I think they shared the news. Good, good. And
Speaker:those of you listening, that may not be moms as well. Women
Speaker:who are not moms are not exempt from from doing all of these kinds
Speaker:of activities. Absolutely right. 100%. Way to
Speaker:go. Yes. You know, as you were talking, I was thinking,
Speaker:too, just like last week in our in Master Coach
Speaker:Training, this- that we have a module all about
Speaker:motherhood, parenting, family life. And we
Speaker:talk so much about these things. And one of the questions that we
Speaker:discussed last week or a couple weeks ago
Speaker:was asking women, asking their clients, these
Speaker:moms, who they believe they are in relation
Speaker:to others. Right. And then who are they
Speaker:separate from that? Because that's a very hard question to answer. And when you were
Speaker:talking, that's what made me think of it as, like you say, how are you
Speaker:doing? Right? And we start talking about everyone else, but, like, where is
Speaker:the woman in this. In this
Speaker:chaotic mess of everyone else's needs and emotions? Right.
Speaker:We gotta find her in there. Yes. A hundred percent.
Speaker:100%. I really appreciate you saying that. That is such a good question, too.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah. So important we think about those things and support each
Speaker:other in thinking about them, too. Right. If you got a friend who's, like, running
Speaker:around, like, spinning out is like, okay, where. Hi. You know, I mean, like,
Speaker:really being there for each other, because we've all been set up for this.
Speaker:Yes, yes. Right? I mean, you know, the second you see that, you
Speaker:know, school gets out at three and most jobs don't get out till five, someone's
Speaker:being set up to fail somewhere. Right. The whole system is set
Speaker:up to not have some people succeed. It's not possible. So what are we going
Speaker:to do about that collectively? How can we support each other collectively through that?
Speaker:Yeah. And the other thing I wanted to highlight that you said even, you know,
Speaker:in your conversation with your son, like, if you're not thinking about
Speaker:these things, know that someone else is. And one
Speaker:thing I want to mention about that is, is this,
Speaker:this opens the door to this idea that
Speaker:if we are over functioning, if
Speaker:we are taking all of these things on, we don't leave
Speaker:a need for anyone else to think about it. Right? Correct.
Speaker:And so I think this is where part of what we can
Speaker:do is to advocate for some of our needs, to
Speaker:ask for more help, to acknowledge
Speaker:that maybe we shouldn't
Speaker:be doing it all, right? Because I think it's, when we,
Speaker:it's like if we're always filling the gaps, then there's no gap to be filled.
Speaker:No one's going to see it. So. Yeah, I think that's right. And it does.
Speaker:It does a disservice to everyone. Right. And we do. We see it in kids
Speaker:in college all the time. Right. They're like, what? What? How do I. What?
Speaker:And I don't think we ever want to send our children out into the world
Speaker:that way. I think it's important for them, for spouses and to see the gender
Speaker:roles aren't real. Right. We can, anybody can do these are not
Speaker:gender specific jobs. Like, anybody can do these jobs and supporting us
Speaker:in believing that, too. Right. Because, I mean, I don't know about you. When I
Speaker:became a mom, I want to be the best mom ever. Right. Which meant, like,
Speaker:killing myself. Right? Yes. Yeah. And
Speaker:it took me a long time to undo that. And this is my job, and
Speaker:it took me a long time to undo that. Right. Like, we all really want
Speaker:to just be there for each other and drop any of that shame or judgment
Speaker:stuff because it's just not useful and it's so damaging. And we're all in the
Speaker:same game. Yeah. We're all. Yeah. You know what? And I want to mention one
Speaker:other question that I thought was so good. So we had Lindsey
Speaker:Pullman. She's a coach that works in my program as well, and she
Speaker:was talking about societal conditioning and what
Speaker:we learn about ourselves as women. And we're in there, and
Speaker:we're like, it was just this amazing discussion. I actually was, I was listening to
Speaker:the replay, so I was, like, listening, and I'm like, oh, I wish I would
Speaker:have been there. I'm hearing all this, right? And one of the questions that
Speaker:she asked is just for us to think about, you know,
Speaker:what does it mean to you when you think about
Speaker:what's expected of you as a woman? And I remember when
Speaker:she said this, and I think this would be a question, you know, for all
Speaker:of you listening to think about, what is it? What do
Speaker:you think when you think about what's expected of you as a woman. And I
Speaker:can say for me, my answer to that was
Speaker:everything. Like, that was immediately what came to me. And I
Speaker:just felt all over, like, in my body. The sense of holding it
Speaker:all together, taking care of everything, taking care of everyone.
Speaker:And I think that's a lot of women's experience
Speaker:and maybe it doesn't have to be quite that way. Maybe we can make
Speaker:a shift. Yeah. And that's. I think that's going to take us.
Speaker:I really do, because it's kind of like, did you ever see the
Speaker:matrix? I'm such a nerd. Oh, my gosh. Do you ever see the
Speaker:matrix? Yeah. Like, Sarah, where are you going with this? You crazy? Crazy. No,
Speaker:no. I want to hear it. Let's do it. So in the Matrix, they're
Speaker:talking about how there are humans who actually like the Matrix so much they'll try
Speaker:to keep other people in it. And it's like the woman with the red dress
Speaker:scene, if you haven't seen it, right, that they can distract you with stuff and
Speaker:then you realize you're stuck. And that the red, the woman in the red dress
Speaker:becomes an agent. Right. And I love that they're just really trying to
Speaker:explain, like, other people inside the Matrix want to keep the
Speaker:matrix going because it's what they know and it's comfortable. So don't rock the boat.
Speaker:They're going to like. Right. And I think for all of us
Speaker:as women, right, it, this is watching
Speaker:where we say things like, she's so selfless. Where
Speaker:we say things like, God, she's amazing. Look at everything she
Speaker:does. Wait a minute. Is she okay? And am I rewarding
Speaker:her for not being okay? And because I really, we
Speaker:tend to have more conversations with each other than anything else. Right. So if we
Speaker:can sort of do this with each other and support each other at this deeper.
Speaker:A little bit more like, it's almost like lifting the veil of ignorance a little
Speaker:bit. Right. Let's kind of crack through these invisible walls we've put up and see
Speaker:if we can't, like, reach through one of those walls and grab another woman and
Speaker:be like, you okay? I think it's gonna be important, you
Speaker:know, this, I know this is a little bit of a tangent, but I think
Speaker:it's worth mentioning. A good friend of mine, it was, I
Speaker:believe it was the 7th anniversary of when she lost her son. This was just
Speaker:recently she posted about it and she had this series of
Speaker:pictures that said this is what grief looks like. And you
Speaker:would see extreme tears,
Speaker:sobbing, and then you would see smiles, and they're with
Speaker:all the kids taking care of everything. And these
Speaker:pictures that seemed like everything was fine. And
Speaker:then at the end, it said, check on your strong
Speaker:friends to make sure they're okay. And I thought, oh, my gosh,
Speaker:right? Because sometimes I can say for
Speaker:them that for me, like, if you. What does it look like when
Speaker:Molly's in a crisis? You know what it looks like. Her hair's curled,
Speaker:she's got a big smile on her face, and everything
Speaker:looks amazing when Molly's in crisis. This is true, right? I mean,
Speaker:not always. Certainly there are times, but, but I think it's important that
Speaker:we- We really never know. And we do need to check in on each
Speaker:other and support each other a hundred percent. Yeah.
Speaker:Okay. Can I go on one more tangent? Yes. Okay. I have this horrible
Speaker:fear you're going to roll your eyes at me, but are you by any chance
Speaker:a Taylor Swift fan? Because I'm a little bit crazy. Okay. My
Speaker:daughter is obsessed. And so I listen. I
Speaker:listen with her. I'm there with you. I'm good. I
Speaker:may not know it all, but. No, I mean, I have to be so straight
Speaker:with you. I think Taylor Swift has become my roman empire. Like, as a woman
Speaker:in business, I'm like, wow, she did it again. Oh, my gosh,
Speaker:she just did it again. And with, always with such excellence and so much creativity
Speaker:and staying true to herself. But she has a song on her latest album
Speaker:called 'I Can Do It With a Broken Heart.' Oh, I know. Yes. My daughter-
Speaker:Yes, I've cried and sung it in my car by myself. But yes. Like, it's
Speaker:like one of those where it's like, for her to say that and share that
Speaker:emotion, I was like, good on you, Taylor. Way to go. Way to teach these
Speaker:young girls. This is what's expected of us. And just because you can.
Speaker:And she ends that song with, I'm miserable
Speaker:and no one even knows. And I'm like, oh, my
Speaker:God. Like someone saying this out loud
Speaker:and sharing that without shame. I was like, thank God. And I
Speaker:just think it's really important. We got to keep continuing to pick up on that
Speaker:message and share with each other and call each other out, which is what she
Speaker:did, is I'm going to call out, you guys thought I was having the time
Speaker:of my life. This is what was actually happening. And I think that is so
Speaker:important. Yeah, I think so, too. I want
Speaker:to, and in just a minute, I'm going to, I would love for you to
Speaker:give, like, one or two suggestions of, like, where you think women can start
Speaker:and then, of course, tell everyone where to find you. But one of the things
Speaker:that I want to come kind of, again, full circle to the
Speaker:beginning of this is that I, you know, because Sarah
Speaker:was talking about, like, you don't have to choose, right? Like, I
Speaker:can have what I want and take care of my family. And.
Speaker:And one of the things that, that I
Speaker:think is crucial for all of us as women to
Speaker:know is I don't believe that we have to
Speaker:choose between our business or our
Speaker:passion, whatever that is, and our family.
Speaker:And yet this is distinctly different
Speaker:from having it all and doing it all and
Speaker:being it all. And so, and this is where I just want to make a
Speaker:plug for this because I don't, I don't think it's useful for us to feel
Speaker:spread thin and believe that way. And yet I also don't think we're limited.
Speaker:And I genuinely think the key is
Speaker:identifying what are the things, that
Speaker:small list of things that really matter to
Speaker:me, and then what are all the things that I'm going to
Speaker:let go of or get help with. Because I think that is
Speaker:how you really can have and create
Speaker:and achieve the things you truly desire without
Speaker:overdoing it, being spread thin, worn out and exhausted. And there
Speaker:is a difference. So I wanted to just, like, highlight that for all of you
Speaker:women listening. I love that. I think that's so important.
Speaker:Because it is this BS we see. I can do everything all the time.
Speaker:No, no, no. That's not, that's not what we're saying. And I think sort
Speaker:of challenging the people around us to bring
Speaker:their best. Right. Is actually part of that. Yes.
Speaker:Like, when I taught my kids how to do their laundry, I wrote, there's- It's
Speaker:still on the laundry machine, which is funny because this was years ago- but it's
Speaker:a pink post-it that says, 'expectations: that you will get these things
Speaker:done, that there won't be clothes left here, this won't be happening. If we run
Speaker:out of laundry detergent, you know, you'll make a note, like, those are the expectations.'
Speaker:And I think sometimes when we're doing so much, and again, it's that high
Speaker:functioning. Right. We see so much. We can do so much. It's like, well, I
Speaker:can see it. And learning to take that pause and going, do
Speaker:I have to be the one to do it? And I do this with people
Speaker:in business all the time. Like, do you have to be the person doing
Speaker:that? No. Okay. And I know it's super scary to hire people
Speaker:initially, all that stuff. Of course, but when you're talking about inside the family unit,
Speaker:you can practice there where it doesn't cost you money. If you want to run
Speaker:a business, right. You can practice there and then move it into
Speaker:business because especially as women were not compartmentalized.
Speaker:So how you're choosing to let the household run and let others come in and
Speaker:support is the same way that you'll end up running a business. So sort of
Speaker:important that we can do it there. We can play, we can expand ourselves
Speaker:and learn these skill sets of delegating without being
Speaker:afraid we're going to break the bank, which I can get. So when
Speaker:someone's starting out or they're nervous or they're like, I have to do everything, they're
Speaker:not going to do it, right. I'm going to go, that's correct. They will not
Speaker:do it, right? They won't. She's like, when I deal with entrepreneurs, they're like,
Speaker:they won't send emails like me. I'm like, that's right. But they'll learn. It's
Speaker:the same skill set. Right. And so it's really taking the time to teach and
Speaker:trust. And the book I really love is called The Gift of Failure.
Speaker:It's a really great book. It's got a broken pencil on the front and I
Speaker:cannot remember the author's name. She's a middle school teacher. She's wonderful. And just how
Speaker:much parents are doing for children, so they're not learning. Super
Speaker:helpful. And I give it, I give it to people who are not, are not
Speaker:parents as well. And I'm like, just read this because you need to do that
Speaker:in your business, too, of allowing people to fail so they can figure out what's
Speaker:going to work and what's not going to work. And understanding that when
Speaker:we capture someone from failing, this happens a lot in
Speaker:corporate. Right? Like, they can't fail. I'm going to fix it. It's like, oh, then
Speaker:they don't learn. Now, obviously, if you're going to lose lots of money, of course
Speaker:we go in and step, but, like, really explaining why someone had to step in.
Speaker:What was going to happen. What would have happened to the load of laundry if
Speaker:we kept the red lipstick in there? Like, I explained that all the way over
Speaker:to, if you'd sent the email this way, we would have missed out on this
Speaker:tracking. Oh, I. Okay. We can't allow
Speaker:other people to step up and, and be challenged and support
Speaker:us if we don't give them the. Opportunity to stretch themselves
Speaker:100%. Yeah. Which can be scary to do. Totally.
Speaker:It can be scary to do, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker:Okay. This has been amazing. So will you just tell, I feel like
Speaker:you've given so many suggestions and ideas and there are so many books
Speaker:and everything, but if there were just one,
Speaker:one piece of advice, one step that you would encourage
Speaker:women to take, what would it be? Just trust
Speaker:yourself. You've been told your whole life you
Speaker:can't. That's a lie. You know, and it's always the
Speaker:softest voice in the room. Oh, it
Speaker:is. Always right. Always right. Yes.
Speaker:Okay. Such a beautiful note to end on. Trust yourself.
Speaker:You've got this. You don't have to do everything.
Speaker:Okay, Sarah, where can everyone find you? And by the way, everything that
Speaker:she's saying here will be in the show notes. But, but tell
Speaker:the people where can they find you? Sure. Sure. So I'm over
Speaker:at Sarahwalton.com. I tried to make that not hard. But you can catch me over
Speaker:with an H and Walton. Like the family on tv or the Walmart
Speaker:family. Depends on your age. So. Sarahwalton.com. I'm over
Speaker:on YouTube, The Sarah Walton. Same with Instagram. The Sarah Walton. And just
Speaker:come on over and hang out where I'm pretty much always on there or someone
Speaker:on my team is always on there. So if you have a question or you
Speaker:want to say hi or you want to get introduced, come and say hi. We
Speaker:love meeting people and, and helping more women make more money so we can
Speaker:do more for this world. Amazing. And your podcast,
Speaker:Game on Girlfriends. Game on Girlfriend. You know, that came
Speaker:from as I was a huge fan of West Wing. I don't know if you
Speaker:ever watched it, but there's a scene where the president's about to go on stage
Speaker:and lecture, and he likes to be stressed before he not lecture, debate. Before he
Speaker:debates, he's about to walk on stage and his wife cuts his tie in
Speaker:half, which causes this whole mayhem. The guys are running around, everybody's trying to get.
Speaker:She slaps his butt on her way out and says, 'game on, boyfriend'. And I
Speaker:was like, that's me. I was like, I will tell
Speaker:you, the game is on. This is not your practice life. Let's go.
Speaker:So that's where that came from. Amazing. I love it. All right. This has
Speaker:been so great. Thank you so much, Sarah. Thank you so much for having
Speaker:me, Molly. All right, thanks, everyone, and I'll talk with you next
Speaker:week. Thanks for listening to the Masterful
Speaker:coach podcast. Are you ready to build your amazing
Speaker:business with Molly as your coach? Check out
Speaker:www.mollyclaire.com to find
Speaker:out about masterful coach foundations and the tangible k
Speaker:accelerator method. It's the ultimate support for you as a
Speaker:coach, building your ideal life and business.