Welcome to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I'm your host, Blakely Ramsey, and the goal of this podcast is to discuss all things personal development, wellness, and the art of editing your life in an elevated way.

From mastering morning routines to mastering your mindset, we're going to sift through the noise and empower you to take elevated action.

Make sure you catch the show notes.

For all the details.

Enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I was talking with a friend and she is in a very similar season to me right now as far as wanting to start her own business and being in the very beginning stages and learning a lot of the back end stuff that is, quite frankly, not fun.

And we were talking about how miserable this season feels in a good way.

Like, not complaining, but just talking about how difficult it is.

Like, now that we're getting close to the finish line, it seems like it's way harder than it was at the beginning.

And we were questioning, like, why is that?

Like, why is it so hard now when in the beginning it was so easy and so fun and like, my creative juices were just flowing like crazy and now I'm like, in the nitty gritty of the LLC and my ein and my, like, website and ads and all these, like, skills and coaches that I've invested in.

Like, things are getting real and they're getting real scary.

And first off, it's amazing to have someone in your life who is going through a similar struggle than you as you going through the same struggle that you are.

But we also were talking about how so many people experience this and the most successful people aren't the ones that are necessarily the most talented.

They're not necessarily the ones that have more skill than others or had a better advantage.

They're usually just the ones that stick it out a little bit longer.

I know you've probably seen either on Pinterest or Instagram or maybe even Facebook, the picture of the man and he is, like, digging for diamonds and he's dug like 90 of the way and he gives up and he's got like a little strip of dirt left and like, the diamonds are on the other side.

And that is where I feel like I'm at right now.

And I know so many of you feel the same way where it's like, I have worked so hard, I've made so much progress and I know exactly what I want is probably so close.

But, like, that last little bit is the hardest because you, first off, the excitement's gone, the steam is worn out.

You are no longer brainstorming.

You're actually having to do the work that you committed to.

And a lot of, at least for me, a lot of self sabotage, a lot of resistance, a lot of fear, a lot of doubt, a lot of impatience has come to the surface for me.

And so today we're going to talk about why the end feels the hardest.

And we're also going to discuss some actionable tips to ease the process a little bit.

I am following these tips and I'll let you know up front.

They don't completely eliminate the feeling, but they do help a little bit.

And like I said, it also helps to have an accountability partner that you can call and be like, do you feel like banging your head against the wall?

And they're like, yeah.

I'm like, okay.

I just wanted to make sure that I'm not crazy, that I don't need to give up, because that's kind of honestly how I feel right now.

Like, just full transparency.

I'm like, okay, I truly want to give up.

I want to go back to my comfort zone.

I want to go back to what I know I'm good at.

What I know works.

And I've proven that it works over and over again.

And you know what?

My life really wasn't all that bad before.

Like, I just want to go back to that.

And I know deep down, like, I have come so far and I know I'm so close.

Like, I know that's just a thought that is in my head, but it keeps recurring.

Like the last couple weeks especially.

And like, now that I'm getting so close to, to my goal and so close to something that, yes, I've been working on it actively for the last six months or so, But I feel like this has been something that's been on my heart for probably a decade and I just couldn't put it into words.

And then a couple of years ago, I was able to put it into words.

And then six months ago, I started taking action towards it.

And then two months ago I started getting really crystal clear.

And then three weeks ago, I made a really large investment.

And then a week ago, I made another really large investment.

And now it's like, things are happening, the wheels are turning and everything is so good.

But, like, now it's like, terrifying.

And it makes me want to, like, crawl back in my comfort zone and just put a blanket over my head and like, wake up tomorrow and just go back to what I was doing.

And there is like a psychology behind the spinal stretch.

There are a Lot of different factors that go into why we feel this way.

One of them is decision fatigue.

I am experiencing this heavily right now.

When you get closer to a goal, there's so many little, tiny things that come up.

I think of this as, like, planning an event.

So like a golf tournament or a charity gala or even, like a wedding, you know, a birthday party.

In the beginning, everything's great and fun because you're looking at Pinterest and you are, you know, you're several months out.

You've got all the time in the world.

Everything is exciting, everything sounds fun.

You have all these big ideas, all these brainstorm sessions.

Everybody on your team is really excited.

The energy is good.

And then you get a month out, and it's like, you know, the anxiety sets in a little bit.

It's like, okay, this is happening in a month until you create, you know, your action list and you start to get a little overwhelmed because the list didn't seem that long a couple months ago.

But now that you're getting closer, all these little tiny details are starting to add up.

And then the week before, it's like, oh, my goodness, I have so much to do.

And, like, anxiety creeps in.

You just want to lay in the bed and do nothing.

Like, I felt like that the week before the wedding.

The week before every golf tournament I've chaired.

The week before every, like, big event that I've set on a board.

Like, the week before, I'm like, I'm done.

Like, I just want to go lay in my bed.

This is overwhelming.

This is really stressful.

And a lot of it is that decision fatigue at the end.

You're having to make so many micro decisions.

All the little tiny details are coming into play.

All of, like, your vendors are asking a lot of questions, or, you know, family members asking questions, friends are asking questions.

Your team is asking questions.

Like, there's so many decisions that have to be made a couple of weeks before or a couple of days before, like, the finish line.

And, like, especially the day before, it's like, why did I do this to myself?

Every year with the golf tournament, I was like, why did I say yes to this?

And then it's over.

I'm like, okay, I want to do that again.

But it just happens every time.

Like, the closer you get, the more micro decisions you have to make, and that decision fatigue gets so real.

I talked about this in previous episodes, but we only have a finite amount of decision making skills, and if we use them all up, like, we can't just replenish that during the day we have to like recoup, sleep, nourish, workout and then our decision making capabilities, you know, kind of refill themselves.

And so this last couple of weeks I've had to really monitor that and ensure that like, okay, I would love to work until 8, but like I need to stop at 6.

And you know, I, I ordered these really cool paint by the number pictures and they're like really detailed and the paintbrush is teeny tiny and so I really have to concentrate.

And it's like pulled me all the way out of my like stress bubble.

And so that's really helped a lot.

It's just like taking off early, putting everything away and just completely tuning it out.

And I've tried to on the weekends to like not.

Because when I get excited about something, I will like dive all in.

And I'm really excited right now.

And so I'm having to go, okay, I have got to refill my decision making cup.

Like I am pouring from an empty cup and I can't do that.

Another reason why the final stretch is so hard is burnout.

And this kind of goes back to decision fatigue.

But we just get really tired.

We have pushed usually about, we've done about 90% of the work at this point and we're exhausted.

And I think for me sometimes the thought of like actually executing the final thing is so stressful.

Like with my wedding or with, you know, an event, it's like you do all this work and then you still have to do the thing and it's like, oh no, I'm so tired.

I do not think that I can do anymore.

Like burnout gets so real.

And then this is a big one for me right now.

I am swimming in this.

It is a thought that is in the back of my mind, I would say 90% of my waking hours.

And that is a fear of failure.

Because even though you've worked so hard and you have done everything that you can and you have pre planned and you have organized and you have all the systems and you have all of the things in place, you communicate with your team, you could still fail.

I mean that's a totally, a completely valid option.

Like that could definitely happen.

And I usually, I embrace failure.

Like I'm like, okay, failure is a tool that I can use to get better.

Like, I am usually someone who is like actively trying to fail because I know that if I'm not failing, failing, I'm probably not trying.

And if I'm not trying, I'm not getting better.

And I want to be someone who is constantly improving.

Like that is genuinely one of my goals in life.

Like I don't really have like an end result that I'm trying to attain in life.

But I do constantly want to be getting better.

I want to be a better friend, I want to be a better, you know, at my job, I want to be better my health, I want to be a better friend.

Like all the things or wife, whatever it is.

I just constantly want to be like making micro changes and improving my life and being so close to success and so close to the end.

It can trigger self sabotage and overthinking.

I, like I said I want to go back to my comfort zone and I know that's my self sabotage creeping in and convincing me.

That way over there, like way back there where you were was way easier because your brain doesn't like to change.

Like you, your brain doesn't want to change.

Your brain is comfortable, your subconscious is comfortable.

It doesn't want to grow, it doesn't want to expand.

It liked where we were.

We didn't have to push, we didn't have to try new things.

We didn't have to get outside of our comfort zone.

We didn't have to look like a fool.

Like let's go back over there, that's a really safe spot.

And self sabotage, like if we are not super self aware, it can really do a lot of destruction if we are working towards a goal.

Because it's going to be that little nagging voice in the back of your mind that can convince you that you are going to fail and everybody's going to make fun of you and you're going to waste all your money and all your time and you're going to look like a fool.

And it's like, okay, you're right.

I'm going to crawl back over here and I'm going to get back in my little comfort zone nest and I'm just going to live there and I'll be super transparent and super honest.

I feel like I have done that the last four years.

Like I have tried to pursue what I'm pursuing right now multiple times over the last 4ish years, multiple times I have sat down and wrote a business plan.

I have wrote like all of my C suite has had tasks and I have, you know, formed an LLC and I've done all the things like, and I will get, I've never gotten this far but I'll get so close to like having a breakthrough and something will happen and I'll Be like, oh, see, I can't do this.

I need to go back to my comfort zone.

I need to go back to what I've been doing because it worked.

And a lot of it, I think, for me is a fear of going broke.

Probably because I have been, like, crushingly poor before in my life.

I don't know if I ever really talk about that a lot.

I've been, like, poor, poor, poor.

And this is not a victim.

Like, oh, feel sorry for me.

I am always and forever very thankful for all of the difficult things I've gone through in my life because it's made me really freaking strong.

So this is definitely not a feel sorry for me.

But, like, I have been poor, and there is always, I think, a little bit of trauma when you've been really poor.

And it.

It does give you that.

Like, okay, well, I've gotta.

If I make money, I've gotta save money.

Like, I can't spend it because if I spend it, I'll never get it back.

And being in the season of, like, I'm spending money on things that I don't have a guarantee I'm going to get back it.

Like, it literally.

I don't know if you all heard my breath catch just then, but it really will mess with you.

And that leads to.

The other thing is overthinking.

Like, right now, being a couple weeks out, I'm overthinking every thing.

I'm like, I.

Why did I do this in the first place?

Everybody's going to think I'm a fool.

Everybody's going to make fun of me.

Everybody's going to talk bad about me.

The reality is nobody really cares.

That is always, like, a solace that I try to go back to is nobody is thinking about you the way that you think they are.

Everybody is thinking about themselves.

I try to remember that every time I post on social media, every time I record a podcast, every time I do anything that is getting me out of my comfort zone and is a little, like, different than, like, the norm, I'm like, blakely, literally nobody is thinking about you.

They might see your post or, you know, listen to a podcast.

But, like, and this is my hope for you, as you're listening to the podcast, you're going, oh, yeah, I relate to that.

Or I've never thought about that.

You're thinking about everything in your context.

And for.

For me, I try to remind myself of that, like, when I'm doing something scary or when I'm doing something that I feel like might be embarrassing.

Or I might fail.

I'm like, blakely, if you fail, nobody really cares.

Like, people might talk about you for five minutes, and then they're going to move on.

And so I have been trying to remind myself of that as I'm in the season where I'm severely overthinking everything because.

And also, too, like, I've, like, told a couple people what I'm doing, and they just look at me with a blank star there, like, oh, okay, okay.

I'm like, oh, gosh, is this a bad idea?

Like, I.

I don't know.

It's just.

Like I said, this is why having an accountability partner that is in the same boat that you're in is so important, because they can help you reframe the struggle as part of the process.

Because.

And this is.

I'm trying to.

Every morning, I'm trying to remind myself that my challenges are going to be part of my story one day.

Like, when I'm sitting there telling my founder story, I'm going to be like, you know what?

A few weeks before I started, I was so stressed, and I overthought everything.

Like, I keep trying to tell myself, like, this is going to be part of your story.

This is part of the process.

And based on speeches that I've heard from very successful people, podcasts that I've listened to, books that I've read, and my own past successes, the challenges at the very end are a sign that you're on the verge of a breakthrough.

Like, I feel like every time I have really accomplished something has been after I've had a really big challenge.

And I personally think that the challenges that you experience as you are trying to accomplish a goal, those are really gifts that were sent to you to make you stronger.

I had a moment last week where something happened, and it.

It could have been.

It could have been one of those things that completely threw my whole day off.

A year ago, it would have.

A year ago, I would have, like.

It would have completely shut me down.

I would have gone home and, like, gone to bed early, super early, and just, like, lock the door.

And, like, because sometimes I do, like, I'm just like, I need to go get in my hole.

And I am a little, like, not super depressed, but, like, I need to just go cry.

And a year ago, like, this situation would have made me do that, but I didn't skip a beat.

Like, I picked up the phone.

I made the hard phone call quickly, and I handled the situation, and it lasted all of about 10 minutes, and I was like, oh, wow.

How did I just do that?

But it was because of all the challenges that I've been through.

The last year have made me stronger, stronger, stronger, stronger.

And now I'm able to handle things so much better and so much faster.

And so I keep trying to tell myself that I keep trying to reframe that struggle, and I have a friend who is helping me with that as well.

And I'm helping her is, like, reframing the struggle and just being like, okay, this is part of the process.

I am going through this challenge because I'm going to be presented with an opportunity very soon.

And in order to really seize that opportunity, I'm going to need to be a little bit stronger.

And in order to be stronger, I need to go through that challenge.

And so that's just, like, what I keep trying to, like, push.

Like, push through and, like, run through.

My brain is like, I'm getting stronger.

I'm getting stronger.

I'm getting stronger.

This struggle doesn't mean that you're failing.

It's proof that you're growing.

And I just keep, like, trying to replay that.

And look, I know I am in it right now.

I know it's so much easier said than done.

I get it with my whole heart.

But we, us multi, passionate women, we have goals.

Like, we have families to, like, lift up.

We have communities to lift up.

We have missions.

We have skills and hobbies and dreams and visions.

Like, we have things that we need to get done.

And if we aren't getting stronger and, like, rising up to the people that we know that we can be, we're not only doing ourselves an injustice, but we're doing everyone who needs to hear that mission, see that vision, see that, like, experience your gift.

We're doing them a disservice as well.

There's so many people.

Like my coach right now.

For example, she is.

She told a story about when she got started and how she wanted to quit.

And, like, it was kind of like, an aha moment for me because I'm like, wow, if she had quit eight years ago, she wouldn't have gotten better.

I mean, she's been improving for eight years.

Fun, not, like, mindblowingly phenomenal.

She is the definition of excellence.

If she had quit, she would have never kept improving, and she wouldn't be sitting here coaching me, and I would have been worse off because she didn't step up to the plate.

And so I keep trying to remind myself, like, Blakely, there are people who need your gift and need your vision and need your mission.

And same for you.

There are people who need your to hear your voice, who need to, like, your kids need you to.

Like, your kids might, like, have like a.

Like, your kids might be the mission, and they need you there to, like, lift them up.

Like, there's just so many things that we can't see and we don't know the answer to.

And, like, we can't.

Obviously, we can't see the future.

And I just truly think that.

I personally think this is just my opinion.

I think that every single woman, and men, too, but y'all go listen to Joe Rogan or something for some inspiration.

We're.

We are lifting the ladies up over here.

Okay?

I think that every single woman has a gift that needs to be presented to the world.

And I.

It, like, breaks my heart because I think so many women feel like they don't have anything to offer.

Like, the.

The phrase that cuts my heart in half, it literally guts me is when a woman says, oh, I'm just a stay at home mom.

Like, it makes my jaw drop to the floor.

And I like, I'm very honest with him.

I'm like, did you just say you're just a stay at home mom?

So you mean to tell me you don't get to leave?

You don't get any silence.

You don't get any alone time?

And especially moms at homeschool, like, what?

How.

How I want to homeschool one day.

Like, if we have children, I would love to homeschool them.

But at the same time, I'm like, how.

How?

Like, you were literally.

You never.

You mean to tell me you never get a.

Not even a day.

You don't get an hour off.

You were working 24 7.

You were cleaning poop and cooking and having to be creative and having to be a referee and an attorney and an accountant and a.

A personal shopper and like a nurse.

You're having to be all these things.

And you just said you're just a stay at home mom.

Like, it literally makes me so sad when people say that because I think in their minds, they truly think that they're like, I'm just a stay at home mom.

But I'm like, you are a gift to this world because there's so many of us.

I'm raising my hand right now.

Like, the thought of being a stay at home mom terrifies me because that's one of those things.

I'm like, I am not.

Like, I could not.

I'm not strong enough to do that.

Like, I'm going to have to go through a season of growth before I could do that.

And so it just, I think, like, women are so powerful and so capable and have so many gifts.

And I think if women could just be told, like, be set down and told, like, you are so powerful just because you're you.

Like, you don't have to do anything else.

You don't have to, like, have a degree and have an award and have a, you know, a Forbes 40 under 40 or whatever it is.

Like, you are like giving a gift to the world just by being yourself.

I just went off on a tangent.

I don't even know really what I was talking about, but that.

That's how fired up I get.

People go, I'm just a stay at home mom.

I'm like, no, don't ever say that again.

Like, you better stand up and be like, I'm a freaking stay at home mom.

Okay?

I can do anything.

Because I truly think that the thought of being a stay at home mom, it like, makes my throat close up.

Because that sounds like the hardest thing on the planet.

When I like, say I'm tired and my friends are like, oh, just wait until you have a kid.

I'm like, oh, I know, I know.

You're like, you are so tired.

I can, like, you're tired.

That I could never imagine.

I'm not one of those people that doesn't have kids.

And I'm like, oh, I could do that so easily.

Like, no, there's a reason I don't have kids because I'm scared.

They seem like so much work.

Oh, I don't know.

It freaks me out.

But anyway, back to the point.

Let's talk about some actionable tips.

Actionable tips to stay motivated when we're in that season of just pain, misery, discomfort.

When we're so close to reaching our goal.

Breaking your goal into smaller micro tasks.

This is something that I'm definitely having to do right now.

Like, I literally have.

Because I've got two giant post it notes on, taped on my wall of like, everything I need to get done.

It's a lot.

And looking at that list overwhelms me.

So I'm taking each one of those tasks and I've got a whiteboard, have a whiteboard and like an easel.

And I'm putting one task at a time on that whiteboard and I'm focusing on that one task until it's done.

Like, I literally.

Because my cats can.

I don't know how they figured it out, but they can open my Office door.

And so I put like weights in front of the door so they can't get in here.

And like two hours every morning, I am, like, laser focused.

Nothing is coming in to my Ethereum.

It's also helping me to visualize the finish line.

I keep trying to reconnect my why, constantly reconnecting to my why and envisioning how amazing it's going to feel when the goal is achieved.

I'm also.

This one's a little difficult for me.

I'm trying to celebrate how far I've come, look back at my progress and acknowledge my wins along the way.

I'm also.

This one's also a little difficult.

I'm trying to use positive self talk.

So.

So I'm replacing phrases like I am so tired, which I still say with I'm so close.

And I.

I think sometimes people are like, oh.

And look, I don't think.

I personally don't think positive self talk is like, the answer.

Like, I don't think it's just a quick fix, but I do think it kind of gives.

Like, it makes me lift my shoulders up just a little bit.

Like, I'm so close.

That feels a little bit better.

Accountability, like I said, that has been a huge one for me.

Just being able to pick up the phone and, like, send a voice note or.

Because y'all know I really don't love talking on the phone.

I love voice notes, though, because I can get.

I can get to a voice note when I, like, I'm not in my time block or when my energy feels good and just being able to pick up the phone and, like, send somebody a message and be like, I am crumbling right now.

How are you feeling?

And they voice message you back and they're like, yeah, I'm crumbling, too.

I'm like, okay, it's not just me.

Makes me feel so much better.

And last, reward yourself for the effort, not just the result.

Acknowledge the hard work that you're putting in right now.

Remember that the struggle is part of the process.

We are developing strength, we're developing skills, we're developing wisdom and awareness and all these things that we're going to need in order to live through the great joys that are coming for us.

Like, I truly am trying to truly remind myself that, like, I have a dream that's so big and so outside of my comfort zone and so challenging that I have to grow in order to get there.

Like, in order for me to handle what's coming, I have to get stronger.

And the only way to get Stronger.

Just like working out, you got to get weak first.

When you work out, your muscles break down, you're sore, and then you get stronger.

Like, I'm, I'm, I'm there right now.

I'm like, in the, in the, like, so sore, you know, the next day when you, like, can barely walk, you're like, why did I do that?

Of course, you can't see any results.

So you're just like, your thighs are still jiggling and you've got your.

Gosh, I don't even know what I call my, my thighs when they rub together, but it's like, that's the worst is when.

Side note, that's the worst is when your thighs are still rubbing together and they're sore and it's like, okay, this is just like injury to insult.

Okay, that is really the worst.

That's where I'm at right now.

Where, like, I'm like, I got, I have to get, like, I have to struggle to get stronger.

I've got to struggle to get stronger.

Something really great is coming because I am getting really strong.

So I just want to encourage you to lean into this, into the discomfort, and trust that it's worth it.

The hardest part often comes right before the breakthrough.

And I wrote this out, and this is something that I am trying to.

For the last couple weeks, I've been trying to read to myself in the morning and just be like, okay, I can do this.

So this is what I've been telling myself in the mornings.

The closer you are to your goal, the more resistance you'll feel, but you are capable of finishing strong.

Trust yourself, take one step at a time, and know that the reward is waiting for you on the other side.

It doesn't make my days just magically easier, but it does just kind of give me that little like, okay, I'm going to lean into the discomfort.

I'm going to lean into the pain.

I'm going to trust that the resistance is happening because I am almost there.

So if you were in this season, know that you're not alone.

If you need an accountability partner, send me a voice note on Instagram.

Sometimes it takes me a couple hours to get to it.

So if you need somebody like, immediate, maybe don't make me your accountability partner, but if you don't mind waiting a few hours, send me a voice note.

Like, I send voice notes all day.

I've become like a voice note junkie here lately.

So, so Simmy want to be like, girlfriend, I'm struggling a little bit and I'LL be like, I'll probably like, okay, I am too.

Unless I'm just really feeling good.

Like, maybe it's after a good workout.

I'll be like, oh, you can do it.

You're a rock star.

Yeah, but if you catch me the other 90% of the day, I'm gonna be like, yeah, I'm in the same boat that you are.

So I want you to just remember this going forward.

Like, if you were in any kind of season where you just feel like you've been working, working, working, working, working and not seeing any progress and you're just feeling that resistance, that might be because you were almost to your goal.

And how amazing would that be if you just kept going and you got there?

I believe in you.

We can do this.

It's hard, but it's worth it.

I don't have anything else for you.

And I don't really know how to end these podcast episodes.

It's always awkward.

So I've talked to other people who have podcasts and they don't know how to start the podcast.

And I'm struggling with the ending because it's just kind of awkward because I've just realized that I just rambled for 30 minutes and then it's like, okay, well, see y'all later.

So, yeah, that's all I got for you.

I will see y'all in the next episode.

Thank you for tuning in to the Elevated.

I hope you found today's episode inspiring and full of actionable tips.

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