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Amber.

Sorry, emo.

Just 2 secs.

Amber, did you just want to go and get yourself ready before we start, or is that you?

I'm sorry.

Have you just rolled out of bed?

Off.

I've showered, I've washed my hair and everything.

Look at it.

It's beautiful.

Hello, and welcome to.

What is it?

I'm.

Welcome to Vogue and Amber, the podcast.

Here we are.

Let's go.

Vogues in France.

Shoop, shoop.

I'm in France.

I'm going home today.

It's been great.

I have stuffed my face full of, like, you just can't not get the frites.

But French chips are, like, tiny little.

They're just covered in grease.

Mainly crispy.

I don't even know if you could really call them chips, to be honest.

Like, crisps.

Yeah, I.

I went to this shack because I was like, I'm not really hungry.

And, like, it was really full.

They were sold out of everything, nearly, except they had a ham and cheese panini left.

And I don't really like ham anymore.

So I was like, okay, I'll have that.

And I pulled out the ham.

The stench of the cheese.

I don't know what the cheese was, and it went all over my hands.

And I was like, oh.

I.

I.

For the first time in a very long time, I wasn't able to eat the food.

Like, was it.

I don't know what it was, but it stank.

And then all day, I was.

That's all I could smell on my hands.

I couldn't wait to get home and, like, bleach them.

They smell so bad.

But, like, I'd always eat food if.

If I was like, it's not that great, I'd still eat it.

That's what it's like when you eat a burger or eat McDonald's, you just cannot get rid of the smell off your hands.

And I absolutely.

I try.

Fairy up liquid.

Try soap, try shampoo.

Just does not get rid of the grease.

Gross.

Have you ever had a Shake Shack and the smell of that burger on your hands.

I know.

Oh, it never leaves you.

Amber, tell me a bit about your week.

My week?

Well, back to work for a full week.

That's been fun and just seeing everyone.

Other than that, I'm trying to get back into saunas.

I haven't really been doing the saunas.

I managed 10 minutes tonight before last, but I managed 20 last night.

And the night before last, we got in and it was 62.

I was like, this is not normal.

And then Last night we got in at 37, and that suited me down to the ground.

37.

7 is like.

It's the average human body temperature.

And I actually found that even too hot.

So I managed 20 minutes.

She did 20 minutes at 37 degrees.

It's meant to be like 65.

Excuse me.

It got up to about 45 degrees.

That was just.

Listen.

That was perfect for me.

It's like being on holidays in Spain in August.

Listen.

And what else?

I'm doing dry January, so I'm disregarding.

You're not.

I am disregarding.

Megan said I can disregard vogue.

It was a 20 ABV alcohol spider drink.

Even you can't say Amber will make any excuse for herself.

It wasn't really alcohol.

It was only 20%.

Well, listen, it's day nine then.

But Megan said I can have 10 days, right?

Well, Megan isn't.

Megan is.

Megan is our friend, by the way, who lives in.

In my house in Ireland, whatever.

And she is not allowed to decide.

George, you've either done dry January or you've done it.

I'm doing dry January.

I'm on day nine.

Okay.

How are you gonna get on Al Sanders birthday party?

That's the first of February.

Is it?

Yeah.

Saturday first.

Oh, my God.

Because I was having mixed feelings about drinking.

Oh, Slating me for not too dry January.

And then I'm still in bits with my poor shoulders.

You know me, always have an ailment.

Oh, let's do Amber's ailments.

What are the ailments of the week?

Your shoulders and bits.

Anything else?

I've got.

I've got my referral for an mri, so I'm excited for that.

Well, so are we, aren't we?

You know, I have period pains today and yesterday.

I don't know why, because I have a coil.

What else?

Anything else?

Well, not if I have period pains.

And what else?

Oh, I finished my antibiotics on Tuesday, so I'm happy about that.

I can hear people in the office getting kind of sick and stuff like that.

And so now I'm delighted.

That's hopefully my illness for this year done and dusted.

I've just taken my little effervescent tablet there and all my.

On my supplements.

So we'll see how we go.

Oh, well, there you go.

Can't go wrong with that, can you?

No.

Today is the day that people give everything up, by the way.

10th of January.

We're recording this on the 10th of January, everybody.

And supposedly it's the day that everyone is most likely to give up.

Their New Year's resolutions.

Oh, I thought you said everyone kicks into their New Year's resolutions.

I think fair enough.

I can see it all over social media.

People just want to go out.

Like me and Megan were talking about it last night.

Megan was just like, I just love to go down to the Harbor Bar.

I have loads of points in the snow I could.

That's like my idea of.

Of Hell, I'd hate to go to any bar I'd go to.

We have to stop talking about east on the podcast.

But anyway, I'd go to King Citric and have some wings because it's not.

East, it's King Citric.

You can't.

I just feel like if you've had an establishment for a certain period of time and then you decide to change the name, it's like it just.

If anyone wants to call this podcast Spencer and Vogue going forward, you're more than welcome to.

Because I called it that for four and a half years.

We understand that's the same with East.

I just, I'm like, it's East.

No.

Well, that's what happened with Snickers and Marathon Morrow and Boost.

And then also it'll always be a Morrow bar.

Come on.

And then also what is it?

Super Value in Sutton Cross used to be Super Quinn.

People still called Super Quins.

Spenny used to go mad because Clean co.

I was even writing something about it last night in my book and I was like, it's a clean liquor or clean coat.

He's like, stop calling it clean liquor.

It hasn't been called that in years.

I'm like, I just.

Well, he called it that for years.

So it's just always going to be in my head that that's what it is.

Theodore started having showers.

So he is absolutely.

I put him in the bathroom beside their bedroom and I put in his little shower smoothie, this child's farm thing.

And.

And he has his shampoo and he comes in and out and he asked me so many times which.

And which one's for washing my body and which ones for washing my hair.

And I keep telling him and he start.

He's.

He pulled me in and he's like, come and look what I've done.

Because he laid out his little.

His bath mat for his feet and his towel ready to go.

And then like the other day he was opening the doors.

The Sharon is like, sorry, Daddy, did you call me?

And Swannie's like, no.

Oh, because I'm just in the shower.

A six year old mud for a Shower.

So he takes himself off to the shower happily after his dinner.

Does he?

Well now he's trying to have showers in the morning.

I'm like, Tina, we only have showers once a day.

You don't need to have one.

And then he's trying to drag Gigi in there.

He's going to teach, teach her.

I'd have a shower.

I'm like, I think she's more of the opinion that she likes to be bathed rather than having to bathe herself.

Where, where's my head float?

I'm headed to the bath.

That's what we were, we were booking them ski lessons yesterday and Otto is like two months too young to go into this kids ski school, which is a bit strange.

It's stupid anyway.

But they were.

But then we were like, oh, can he go with his sister for ski lessons?

And they were like, yeah, but she's more advanced.

And we were like, don't worry, he'll catch up very quickly.

I was like, just, Ben, do you think that the auto's just going to be way better than Gigi like straight away?

Stop.

Poor Gigi.

She's always getting so much hassle.

Gigi.

She is not.

Gigi is spoiled rotten by everybody.

And tell me, how's it going with the kids with no tv?

Oh my God.

But no, not no tv.

I'm not absolutely insane.

We took away their iPads.

They're like different children.

I don't want to be parenting advice.

But what do you mean took away their iPads?

So they, they would have screen time where they'd have their iPads and they'd all go off and be on their iPads.

Yeah, yeah.

And just spend.

And then you'd be like, I go on, you can have another 10 minutes.

I go on, you can.

I mean, Sven, just when we got back, they had so much iPad and t constantly asked for it when we were away that we were like, that's it, no iPads, unless you're traveling.

And we, we started putting them in front of the TV as well.

Because I'm not saying every parent needs a break.

And, and the difference in their like, behavior is wild.

Like they are like the dream children.

There's so much calmer.

They play with their toys.

They're not even that interested in the TV because I don't know why they just prefer the iPad so they don't even watch that much tv.

It's absolutely deadly.

Well, it's because they all have to watch one thing between them all.

And what are they all watching?

Whatever.

T Wants to watch or auto Stop.

Like, when we're in Scotland, I put something on for Gigi.

What's that program with Ariana Grande?

Oh, Salmon Cat.

Salmon Cat.

Oh, my God.

And then she was washing it happily.

Anyway, when we were packing, and then Tea came into the room, and I could hear him.

He was watching.

And he's like, are you sure you don't want to watch Alvin and the Chip?

She's like, no, I like this.

But what about this episode of Alvin and We can watch whatever.

What's your favorite episode?

We can watch that.

She was like, no, I like this.

They was having none of it.

They were there the other day, and T was like.

Because I was like, what you want to watch?

And she was like.

Gigi was like, bobby.

And T was like, no, can we please watch?

And then she's just like, okay.

And then she'll let him watch whatever he wants, usually.

What about Otto?

Well, also storms in, and if he starts asking for something, then that's what goes on the telly.

Oh, God.

Otto watches some cool shit like the Lion Guard.

He doesn't watch crap.

Lion God.

Lion Guard.

I was like, what is he saying?

It's the Lion King, dumbass.

It's called the Lion.

Guys.

I know.

I didn't know what.

But he was saying Lion Guy.

Well, I was talking.

I was telling mom about Christmas.

Amber.

So our mom, like, you, she.

She's great.

We get on very well with her.

She's one of our best friends.

But she.

There's a time limit of how much she wants to be around you.

There just always is.

She's just.

She likes her own space.

Her and my stepdad, Neil, like to do their own thing.

And.

And I was telling her all about Christmas, and she just literally said I couldn't be nice to people for that long.

That's just.

She.

She certainly doesn't hold back on the truth.

I mean, what is it like?

She.

Yeah, she's limited, but it's like she takes the same approach that her own mother took.

I've raised my children, so they're your children.

I'll see them when I want to see them.

But at my own.

Kind of at my own.

When I.

Like in our slots, while they're this age and not between five and seven.

She knows the rules.

She's like, Alexander.

He's learned of her.

Oh, yeah, to be hands off.

As was minding the kids right now.

He's whining our kids.

He's like.

Well, I mean, he minds them from 7 o'clock at night when they're all in bed.

But still he's there.

Babysitter.

I'm glad you went in with that save, considering he has a full time job.

He's.

Mind them right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're grand.

Have you anything else for your week?

No, it's been a pretty boring week.

Well, with being a dry January and kind of being back to work and just getting back into a routine.

I was so tired the night before last.

Like it was 7 o'clock when we got out and had this on and everything.

I was like, jesus, I could go to bed now.

But I managed to stay up till half nine.

Jesus Christ.

She stayed up till half nine.

Wild life's out at nine, fast asleep by half.

Oh my God.

Well, that's not great now if your latency is taking in 30 minutes, you'd get a red for that in the aura ring.

I was about to say, what the.

Hell does latency mean and how long.

It takes you to fall asleep?

Well, oh, it does.

It can take me a long time.

But no, I, I'm up at like quarter to six most mornings.

I have to say I over Christmas because like there's like whenever I have a drink or anything like that, I'll take like a little over the counter sleeping tablet so I can sleep longer.

And if I don't do that, I only sleep for four hours.

And I tell you what, you need to be careful of those things.

I got really into them and it's only this week that I'm like, no, I'm like, oh, I'm free of the, of needing to take the sleeping tablets.

Fall asleep because you can get it into your mind even if they're over the counter.

I'm like, yeah, a lot of people do that.

When Naomi, Naomi.

She probably won't want me saying this, but Naomi could wake up at 8 o'clock in the morning and take a puritan and go back as if I was like, yeah, we was taking it like a little sleeper of a.

Like an antihistamine at 8 o'clock in the morning.

I was like, just get up.

This is our Auntie Naomi.

Do you know that she took the recommended dose for Puritan and fell asleep at traffic lights before.

Yeah, it's.

It's so like the puritan that you have to get from behind the counter is really strong.

You know, we would fall asleep anywhere.

It drives me insane.

Like I used to go to the cinema with her a bit and like you just.

I have multiple photos because we sitting There in the cinema.

And it could be like, a really, really good, like, engaging film.

You turn around.

What did I miss?

Ambi?

I just not too sure I film.

I was like.

Because you were asleep for half of it, Naomi.

I've been on the couch with her before, and she's absolutely, like.

She's fallen asleep on the phone to people before.

Who?

It depends on who.

And then it could probably explain itself.

Are you asleep?

Okay, we're going on to Sister Cards.

We've.

We couldn't think of a better name.

So we've just gone Sister Cards, right?

And could just go, sister, sister, sister.

Did you used to watch that, Emma?

Sister.

Oh, my God.

It was the best show ever.

Was it on Nickelodeon?

Yeah.

Oh, I wasn't a Nickelodeon girl.

I was a CBBC girl.

Oh, God, you're so English.

I know.

Royal Oscar.

Okay, Amber, what's a trend for your childhood that makes you cringe now?

There'd be a few of them now, but I don't even know if it was a trend.

Like, remember you were in the roller skating team.

It was.

It wasn't rollers skating.

It's just a blazers.

No, it was the Burrow Flames.

And it was.

It wasn't.

It was.

Oh, my God, why can't I think about.

It was rollerblading.

It was a rollerblading team.

I don't know why you got to be on that team.

I wasn't allowed on the team.

I was allowed come and watch them play.

Amber was.

You weren't even as good as me on blades.

And then she got to be on the team and I didn't.

And I just had to stand there and watch in my rollerblades and everything, just standing there in my FX5s, waiting for someone to call me on.

I'd love a pair of rollerblades.

No, I.

But I don't even think it was a trend.

Like, obviously one of the ones.

I look back and I see some photos when I used to just, like, literally get, like, handfuls of gel and just put it in my hair, like, from tip, from root to tip.

Put loads of gel on my hair.

There was that, like, aqua blue eyeshadow I used to love.

Amber used to look like, so emo.

Amber would have quite curly hair like you.

So would I, actually, if I didn't.

If I didn't blow dry my hair, my hair would be quite curly.

And so is Amber's.

But Amber used to, like, scrunch.

At one point, she'd scrunch mousse into it, and there's a singer called Chad Kroger from Nickelback and she looks the spitting.

We used to just say, never mind.

Yeah.

And it was.

It elevated even more when I put sun in in my hair.

And then it was like this piss yellow color.

It was just awful.

It was so.

But I remember when I got my hair dyed on the sly for mom and I got these big chunky highlights, like the really thick.

Joanne calls them slag strips.

But I got them all over my hair.

And I think I was like 14 and I'd gotten away with it.

I just used to wear a bandana around my mom the whole time.

So just the bandana on my head.

And then I bumped into one of mom's friends with her in this clothing shop around Thomas and Kate was like, oh, I.

How's the hair?

I haven't seen this.

And I was like, my face just dropped to mom and I pulled off the bandana and she was not happy.

Do you remember as well remember as well before like GHDs and stuff came out, like ironing our hair.

Yeah.

To straighten it and stuff like that.

I don't really like.

What about your trends from that?

You cringe right now.

Obviously your Hulk Hogan haircut.

Yeah, well, that was not even Hulk.

Hoven, just the Hulk.

That was we.

I.

I did a hair show for a salon at home and they basically cut my hair.

They cut like the fringe went from back, like halfway back my head forward.

I didn't even have that much hair.

And then I had this.

It went in a V at the back and it was a mullet and it was really dark brown with chunks of blonde.

And I was trying to grow it out, but like I just had that for so long.

But I had to do a photo shoot for.

It was actually for Pepe jeans when I was younger and they wanted to change my hair so they turned my hair into words of gummage.

There was definite will come and she's like, that's just.

It's.

It was the worst.

You could stick her in a field and she'd like perfectly like act the part of a scarecrow.

What was a scarecrow?

It was like, where's the gh?

He is a scarecrow.

But then when we got the pictures back, we all found them so funny that like when we'd be drinking in our house and stuff, we'd literally get all of the pictures out from the shoot and stick them to the walls.

We could all just sit there laughing and stay to me.

Do you remember that we used to stick them up in our apartment.

Oh, yeah.

We took people over for drinks.

I don't really know in terms of trends and stuff like that.

Like, if it's clothing trends, styling trends, like the blue eyeshadow.

For me, I remember I let Lynn pluck my eyebrows as well, and they were never this.

It took.

I say it took me a good.

It took me a good couple of decades to actually revive them back to their original state.

She literally just halved them and just made them into little.

I think everybody did that, though, with their eyebrows.

Everyone went through that phase.

Not anymore.

Now all the.

All the people are that were our age at the time now look great.

We just.

Bushy, bushy eyebrows now tick one a bushy brew.

Okay.

What did you get in trouble for in school?

What was the mousing.

Are we gonna talk about your thing?

No, we're not.

Definitely not.

We can't talk about illegal things on the podcast, I suppose.

Like, I.

I didn't realize I got in that much trouble when I was in my first secondary school.

Until you got asked to leave.

I didn't realize that until a few years later and it was dropped casually into con when we were out for dinner with Mama Neil.

I thought that they just wanted me to move to a different school, and I just, like, heeded to their request eventually.

And then it transpired that I had.

They had said that I would have been better placed in another school.

I was like, what?

I remember one time I got not even detention.

I had to stand outside the class because it was one of the old prefab buildings.

And I used to be a bit of a jokester, you know, I ran into one of the doors that was closed and pretended to, like, fall to the ground or something like that.

But one of the nuns saw me do it and went ballist.

And then just made me stand outside the class.

I used to get.

I.

I would.

When we had detention in our school, it wasn't like you didn't go sit down and do your homework and stuff like that.

You had to clean the school.

So you had to go around cleaning all the school.

It was.

It actually really wasn't fun.

I used to get.

And then I got suspended twice, but I never got expelled.

I never got suspended.

Expelled to leave.

That's pretty much being expelled.

They honestly felt I could excel somewhere else.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

They were really.

Look at.

They were trying to get you out of their own hair, like, get rid of her.

You used to.

You used to write out.

What was it called?

Like, fake.

What's it called?

When you write notes.

Oh, I did.

I did whatever I felt like.

I want to go.

I don't want to go to school today, actually.

No, no, I've thought about it.

I don't want to go.

And I wouldn't go.

And sometimes I'd be in there, I'd have made my way and I'd be like, I don't want to be here anymore.

I just don't.

And I'd write myself a note and I'd assign my dad's signature.

It was terrible, actually.

And then I drink.

Dad.

And I'd be like, dad, if you don't.

If you don' Say that you wrote that note, I'll be expelled and it'll be your fault.

Little witch.

Absolute witch.

No, I was.

And, well, it was their own fault then because I went to another school and I got an even more trouble.

So that's karma.

Yeah.

Amber, what is your most irrational fear?

I don't know if it's so much fear.

I think the older you get, because obviously you become smarter and you understand how the world works.

Like in term of fear of heights and stuff like that.

Like when you're younger.

Remember we used to do the cliff jumps and stuff like that.

If I tried to do that now, I'd absolutely my load.

But like, it's not an irrational fear, but it's like this thing, I think.

I don't know if it's happened to me before, but you know, with like a nail file and like, obviously this is.

It's not really a nail file.

An emery board.

I think it was in my makeup bags.

I was going to say if you have it in a handbag.

But like, I mean, when do you see me with a handbag?

I put my bum bag, girl.

Yeah, baby.

I put my hand into my makeup bag.

And it's your hands going off the.

Off the nail file when it's in there.

I don't like that at all.

I don't really know what else in terms of like, what's my most irrational fear.

I'm gonna send you this video I saw today.

And now I'm absolutely terrified, even though it's never gonna happen to me because I'm not in Japan and they don't come out that often.

Someone sent me a video of these giant crabs just standing there.

But like, they're like, hu.

I swear to God, they're over a meter long.

And if.

And there was Vogue.

Are you sure that's not AI?

Sorry, it's just my French.

It's because it's the morning no one says Bon Martin.

Okay.

No, I checked because it wasn't like the giraffe climbing on the other giraffes next.

I am telling you, snow crabs are huge.

And they're, they, they were just lurking.

They'd come out of the sea for some reason and if I had to be around them, I would pass away.

That would be one of my, that would be a big fear of mine, though.

When you jump into the water, say you're in the middle, middle of the ocean.

No, not a seal just jumping in.

You don't know what's underneath.

Anything could pull you down there.

Also, also remember we were in.

Oh, God, we were in East King Citric, remember before Christmas.

And the guy who owns a deck let Titi hold a lobster.

And as I'm scared of crabs, I am petrified of lobsters.

I don't even eat them.

I, I, they're so frightening.

And he came out and started running at me with a lobster.

In a full restaurant.

In a full restaurant.

I nearly died.

Yeah, that was a bit, bit, bit of high drama there now.

But I don't really, I don't really think I have most, I don't have irrational fears.

I think I have standard fears.

Like, obviously you get all up in your head.

I used to get all up in my head if I was here in the house on my own.

And then you hear.

Because this house creaks.

It's like an old person.

I was doing my washing here last night and I thought, I started thinking about that there was ghosts here.

And I, like, I turned off the lights, obviously, to come upstairs and I shat myself.

I had to run up the stairs.

I was just so sure there was a ghost by me.

I don't like to hear ghost stories and stuff like that.

Like the woman is a Betsy.

He used to clean the bloody stream.

And she apparently had loads of ghost stories because she'd be there at the crack of dawn in the morning and she saw a lot of weird stuff.

God.

And the Bloody Stream is a podcast on her railway station.

She had loads of stories.

What's a song you secretly love?

What would it never admit to liking?

Well, there's some that we shouldn't be listening to.

Oh, well, yeah, there's the band playlist of certain people, but no, there's ones I don't care.

I, I stand over all the music I listen to.

Like, pretty much one of my favorite songs is like, it's Christmas Time Band Aid.

She listens to that in August.

And so I'M like, what is his song?

I was up here getting ready, and when I get him ready, I turn on some music.

And like, later on, I went down, maybe I went down to make myself a drinking bag.

I was like, were you just listening to Band Aid?

It's Chris.

I was like, yeah, right.

I was absolutely Belcher.

I was listening to Scatman John this morning.

Do you remember?

Nothing wrong with that.

I'm a Scatman skimming in them.

I just came off on my lights on because I love it so much.

And then Life is Life by Opus.

That's 74, 75 tune.

What if God was one of us?

Joan Osborne.

Oh, it's so good.

What's that one?

Once there was this girl wouldn't go and changing.

And then it.

Because she had birthmarks all over her body.

I don't know who it is.

It thinks that, but that's another absolute.

Yeah.

Tune.

I would.

I would stand over all my tunes.

I wouldn't be embarrassed by any of them.

I'd be embarrassed if I was you.

What are you most looking.

What are you most looking forward to in 2025?

There's actually lots of stuff planned already that I'm looking forward to.

I'm looking forward to Italy.

How Irish people say?

Italy.

Italy.

We're going to our friends.

My friend Martin.

He's more my friend than your friend, actually.

I was surprised you got the nod for that.

Me too.

So our friend Martin has been having this party called the Wake for years.

He works in tv, so kind of like he's quite theatrical.

And basically it's just like it's called the Wake.

Once somebody was coming out of a coffin at it.

Everyone has to perform and do some kind of dance or something.

And, you know, we love Awake.

Yeah, we do love Awake.

So he called his party the Wake, so loads of people would go.

And he's having it in Puglia.

Yeah.

This year.

So we're going.

I'm.

I'm going for two nights.

Amber.

How long are you going for?

Three.

I wouldn't be able now for three nights of us.

Yeah.

We've got a lovely place, 200 meters from the city center.

City center?

Center of the city.

Center of the Village.

Whatever it is.

It looks lovely.

I've never been there.

Listen, we'll see how we go.

20, 25.

What am I looking forward to?

I'm looking forward to lots of fun work things.

And always.

I just always look forward to holidays whenever they come.

I don't know what holidays I'm going on.

I'm going to Spain in the summer to my mom's house.

There's loads of.

There's holidays booked in.

I'm looking forward to finally just getting back to full health.

Not.

I don't know if I mentioned.

I don't know if I've mentioned.

Have you ever looked up hypochondria.

And then.

No.

I need to get back training.

I'll be happy to get back training if I do.

Try January, so we're pretty much nearly halfway there.

10th of January.

Well, you've only done nine days, so you have a bit of a way to go now.

So you can't actually drink at Alsa's party.

If you want to complete the 30.

Days grand, no problem.

Done.

More crack when I don't drink.

Okay, last one of this.

What's your favorite dessert?

Oh, mine's pop Creme creme brulee.

What's yours about, like, if it's emo.

Just licked her lips.

Yeah.

I say in the summer, like a pavlova or something.

Meringue.

And in the winter, I like a.

I like an STP.

Mystic to stuff, put in delicious.

Oh, well, I used to like them until I saw it being made when I did this TV show, Steps Pack Lunch, and I was like, I.

It's sugar.

It's.

It's just sugar.

Just sugar A bit.

They throw in a bit of butter just for a bit of texture, but it's mainly just brown sugar.

Yeah.

The apple strudel we had over Christmas was delicious.

Okay, well, it wasn't apple strudel.

Whatever it was.

But then.

Was it a tar t?

I don't know.

I don't eat.

I don't eat these things.

Whatever it was.

What the hell is an apple strudel?

When it's.

I don't know, but I remember I used to always get like, is it a white mocha?

I used to get a white mocha when I was traveling, and then I watched how they made it, and it's just similar to what you were saying about sticky toffee pudding.

They had a big ice cream scooper, and they put that.

That would be the white chocolate into it.

That.

I'm not eating that anymore.

I'm drinking that anymore.

It's absolutely laced with sugar.

Do you remember those yogurts?

I used to get these yogurts in ald.

Oh, it was little.

Oh.

And I'm not gonna deny it, they were absolutely delicious.

But, like, she'd always eat them every night.

And one night I was like, go and give us One of them, like, she's always eating them.

And I was like, whoa, first mates.

But I was like, that is amazing.

That I was like, there's no way that that is not the most unhealthy yogurt I've ever.

I've ever put in my mouth.

So before I even had another bite, I looked at it.

It was something like 380 calories for a yogurt.

I was like, what?

I know how to look at face with them.

I don't know how to check that type of stuff.

I just thought it was delicious and then lighted that to me.

I was like, oh, God.

Okay, maybe not.

Same, same calories as a Big Mac.

Yeah, I'd rather have the Big Mac.

Will we do?

Did you get any good news stories, Amber?

We're going to try and do this thing that's like a good news, positive news story of the week.

No, I thought yours was just a bit.

I mean, get.

Well, I saw.

I saw a good news thing yesterday, and it was actually Spenny who did it.

So when we were skiing, if you're on a snowboard and you're on a flat, you slow down.

You have to take your foot out of the boot.

You have to push yourself along, whereas skis.

Push yourself along.

And I saw Spenny put out his pole to give to a random snowboarder, and he pulled them along the flat, and they didn't have to take their board off.

And I thought, that's really nice.

You don't even know that person.

They could have had words.

I love.

I love doing stuff like that, though.

Like, if I think something positive about someone, I'd be like, oh, I love your dress.

Oh, thank you very much.

Like what mom does.

Oh, I love this.

Do you follow me on Instagram?

If you don't.

Sandra Wilson Styles by Sands.

She literally cannot stop herself.

It's completely wild.

Well, another one.

So this man, as I follow on Instagram, he basically, he saw a woman who works at Superdrug get lots of plastic sheeting from the shop to help keep the homeless guy outside dry.

And I just thought, that is a really nice, thoughtful thing to do for somebody who is down and out.

And it's very nice.

I thought up and Amber's done nothing for this section of the pod this week, and that's why she's trying to slag off my good news stories.

That's.

Screw you.

That's not the one I thought you were going to read.

I hope you bathe in that cheese that I had in My sandwich yesterday.

I hope you get drowned in it.

Death by cheese.

Drowning.

I.

There was a.

There was a fondue.

A fondue.

So like which is all melted cheese and it was like a burger with a side of fondue.

So you basically dip the burger into melted cheese.

Yeah, I've seen that where you put half the.

Or it comes in half covered in cheese and stuff like that.

Now our dad had heart problems.

Otherwise I'd be all over that burger.

But I just have to be.

I think he had heart problems.

Not because he just what he ate.

What he ate was probably the least of his problems.

Hit us with your.

With your section, Amber.

Okay.

My section is called Agony am.

Okay, so this is where if you have something, an issue or anything like that or dilemma, just contact us.

Vogue.

The email is.

Or imo.

Oh, emo.

Yeah, good start, Amber.

The email is Vogue And Amber Pod.

Global.Com just rolls off the tongue.

Vogelam report@global.com.

Okie dokie.

So we have the agony arm section.

Here we go.

So this is from a listener and it's their dilemma.

So.

So we're choosing it as a dilemma of the week.

So.

Hey, Amber and Vogue, it's Sophia.

Welcome to the pod, Amber.

Thank you, Sophia.

I heard you were dishing out advice.

Merci beau Cousofia heard you dishing out advice.

So I want to ask about my mom.

She's really doing my head in.

I feel you, girl.

I feel you.

She has.

Don't tell mom you said that.

She has this habit every January of re gifting all the Christmas presents she's just received.

I think our lovers.

I think it's shocking sometimes.

You'll spend ages looking for a gift for her and find out she's given it to auntie Ellie for her birthday in March this week.

She's given her five year old grandson a scented candle for his birthday.

I think it's totally wrong and against the spirit of gift giving.

Do you ever regift?

Absolutely.

And should I go to confronting my mom?

So listen, this is a common theme in our family.

Everybody does it.

Come on.

I have a whole shelf up there full of stuff ready to re gift.

I hate buying you presents.

You're the worst person to buy presents for.

And Amber stores her gifts up.

So she's like.

I'm like, oh, what you want for your birthday?

Well, you still owe me for last birthday.

And I'm like, because you won't change anything.

No, I've lost Satan so many gifts because of that.

So what's your own fault?

So I like, this is a real common theme and it's an issue in our family.

And I don't know why you're saying Vogue.

You're all for it.

Like, you went ballistic at Naomi when you heard about the Aspinall bag.

Excuse me, I got my Auntie Naomi an Aspinal bag.

So this is not just any bag.

Like, what's up?

What's that ad?

Is that a Marks and Spencer ad?

This isn't just any chocolate pudding.

This is a Marks and Spencer.

I can't even say that because I work with them.

So do I have to say hashtag ad?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Anyway, it's not just any bag.

It's an Aspinal bag.

And I was thrilled with myself.

I was like, she is going to be delighted.

She loves the color red.

Got a red bag.

She loves a big bag.

Got her big red bag.

And then that.

Held the bag, held onto it for 18 months and then decided to give it to the raffle in the golf club.

And I thought, oh, my gosh.

But not even.

There's even one worse than that.

She re gifted you something back to that you had gifted her.

Oh, she's desperate now.

I.

I once was like, right, I've got her.

I got her this year.

I got her a hair dryer and I got her name printed on it, Naomi.

And she gave it to my little cousin Naomi.

Me.

I'm not joking.

She gave the.

But you'll call her out and she will just.

She will rationalize it.

I know, but I wouldn't use it.

I already have.

I honestly, it was the best thing to do.

It was the only thing I could do.

And it's like, she's terrible for it.

So I.

I got her good this year, too.

I was just like, I got something.

I was like, there you go, Naomi.

And I knew exactly what she was going to do with it.

So listen, it's transparency now at this stage.

Now we just give her a bag of carrots.

We're like, there you go, Naomi.

Happy Christmas.

Enjoy.

Give them to whoever you so wish.

She's giving me a lift to the air before Christmas.

First of all, she came up an hour early.

I was like, naomi, no, not, not quoted.

Like, look at that.

She's like, oh, Jesus.

Okay, I'll go up.

And then she comes back again and.

She sent her off her lips.

I was like, if you want to come in and have a coffee.

No, I've got some bits to do.

But then the second time, she Come.

I would go down to the car and she's not.

The car is running, she's not there.

And I was, where is this?

I said, Naomi.

All I heard and I was, went around the corner, corner.

She's down in the bushes robbing branches for a Christmas display.

I was like, get out of there, Naomi.

Come on.

I'm under time pressure.

I haven't blinded for her Christmas display.

I have to.

This would be perfect for what I have in mind.

One year she thought she was, she was getting all these acorns from her house and like I must have been like 13 or something.

And she's like, no, you should spray some of these.

And so basically I just got a load of acorns and I sprayed them all gold and gave them to everyone for Christmas.

I remember Alexander gave me a pack of crisps for Christmas.

I was like, you also, you're from the press downstairs.

You didn't even go to the shop and get me a fancy pack.

We just like went shopping in our own home.

Okay.

So this girl, I think that like, I just don't think you can be annoyed at your mom if it was something she.

If anything, you should be annoyed with yourself.

You should be thinking of better gifts that she wouldn't be able to let go of because she loves them so much.

I think, I think she needs to have a word of there in terms of if you're going to re.

Gift do it well, like you can't be giving a five year old to scent a candle.

Yeah, that's fair enough.

That's fair enough.

But like that, that kid's mother will be delighted.

It's like the way I make you and Alexander buy my kids trainers for their runners.

Sorry.

When I make you and Alexander buy my kids runners for their birthdays and Christmases because then I don't have to buy them runners winners.

I've actually got a few candles up there.

I see if I have three now.

One for Gigi, one for Otto, and one for tt.

Great.

And you know what?

There's.

There's three people I need to give gifts to.

So give the candles over and I will pass them on.

Okay.

We're gonna do a thing called.

Oh, we've got two sections.

Razor slate or the weekend goss.

What would you prefer to do first?

Amber?

Do raider slate.

Okay, okay, okay.

My slate is.

It's not a newspaper article.

It's something that happened irl real life.

In real life.

In real life.

So like freaking God.

I know.

I can't believe it.

And I Basically got.

Well, it's not Netflix because it's not on Netflix.

But Netflix cheated on.

So I do that all the time.

No, I'm not.

I just think that is just the worst started.

Took me ages to convince this person to watch this show with me.

What's Yellowstone?

It's.

Oh, yeah.

So watch the first episode.

The one that you thought was me watching porn.

Yeah, watch the first one.

And two days later, she'd skipped ahead to episode six.

They're an hour long each.

I.

When we.

When Spenny and I started watching say Nothing, which you told us to watch, which is a great show in Disney, I skipped ahead.

I didn't even consider better him.

I didn't even care because I loved that show so much.

I was like him.

Yeah, I downloaded them all.

You said he was there.

You said he wasn't that into it.

Oh, no, he was into it.

He was like, oh, I do.

I really like this episode.

But then I was like, you know what?

I just.

I don't care.

I wanna.

I'm sorry.

No, this person.

Well, this.

This isn't.

No, this isn't this person's first rodeo.

You like that?

Pun intended.

Yellowstone.

This isn't the first time.

I think I counted.

This is the fifth time I've been Netflix cheated on by this person.

Yeah, they can't be trusted.

Then that's on you, babe.

Yeah.

What do you mean it's on me?

You've trusted them too many times.

Don't just watch whatever you want to watch on your own.

Don't come here for any sympathy.

I will always Netflix cheat on anyone.

I literally don't care.

Sveni does it to me all the time.

In fairness, I'm really difficult to watch TV with because I'll always find something else I want to do.

Do.

But on the off chance I enjoy something and he goes ahead, then I'll never watch it again.

That's what I've done before.

I have a dilemma about this.

Okay.

Next week, Naomi, my wife, is going to be in the States all week.

My wife and I want to watch the Traitors.

Watch it.

But she has explicitly told me that I should not be watching the Traitors without her.

And I have to wait till she gets back at the weekend and then we can binge at the weekend.

You can't do that with.

Yeah, especially.

But then I play episodes like re watch or whatever and yeah, it's gonna give me away.

I missed an episode of the Traders because I'm here.

I missed an episode and I went onto The Daily Mail and there it was.

Now I know what happened in it.

So watch your head unless you want to be completely removed from the Internet because everyone talks about the traders.

It's the same at Netflix.

Sorry.

It's same with Tick Tock and stuff like that.

You'll get spoilers.

There's no point.

Also, are you looking, Are you just.

Are you looking to relive your single life or what's going on?

You're not happy?

Is this just an easy way out for you?

I would say, are you going to change.

Change the locks when she's in the States?

Why can he not get BBC I player in the States?

It's actually not your fault.

I'd be.

I would write a complaint to the BBC.

You pay her.

You pay her TV license.

She's making your her problem your problem, Emma.

It's true, True.

It's all her fault completely.

I think what you do is can you watch it in an incognito window so it doesn't look like rewatch when you go back to watch it.

Interesting.

Well, we do the week in goss now ony Bambi.

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

My week is there was a guy who is suing his girlfriend for dumping him.

He's a content creator called Yale and he's going viral after taking his ex to court.

So he's taken her to court after the abrupt dumping.

He claims she splashed out on camera gear using his credit card while they were an item and never paid him back.

Now he's suing her for the camera gear and the breakup.

What do we think about that?

This is like the other one.

You just got to write it off and walk away.

I mean you can't sue somebody for dumping.

You'd be pissed off.

But like bringing them to court for dumping you is a bit far.

If he.

Who?

How dare you.

No, I think just cut your losses.

And run be done when you're really pissed off.

I mean there have been a few times in my life where I would have potentially thought of taking someone to court over that if I could have.

I dare you ghost me.

Get back here.

It sounds like something on Judge Judy.

I love Judge Judy.

It was like that one, you know, the Scottish woman on what it wasn't Judge Judy.

It was something similar to that.

And you know, it was something about their cat or something.

And your one can't help laughing at like the reaction of the people about the cat.

You never apolog.

She said I'm really sorry about your cat.

And it's like have you ever seen that clip?

Do you know the one I'm talking about?

And it was on Church Judy, or.

Is it on Judge Ranger?

It's the one in the uk, obviously.

But she's Scottish and, like, she's trying to apologize.

I can't remember what it was about the cat, but she couldn't take it seriously and she was just laughing and like, you're laughing at us now.

Look at you.

Even when you try to apologize, we.

All love a Scottish sacrifice accent.

What is your week in Goss?

My week in Goss is about Bill Gates and how a few years ago, he basically.

Not even a few years.

A couple of years ago, said he was going to.

Basically all of his money was going to be donated to charity, so his kids would get nothing.

And everyone's like, bravo, brilliant.

But I wasn't like, bravo.

I was like, that's a load of.

I've been Bill Gates kids.

Obviously nothing.

Obviously nothing.

Bravo.

If you're Bill Gates kid.

But he's done a U turn on it.

He's done 180 on it.

And, oh, they've obviously had a word.

Obviously he's been iced out by the kids.

So he said he wasn't gonna give them a penny when he passes away or when he dies.

So now he's opted to give it to charity, but now he's done 180 and he's decided he's gonna let the kids do what they want with it.

Good.

So as his child, I would expect to be allowed to.

Now, in fairness, he was gonna.

He.

They do.

They give away a lot of their fortune anyway to charity.

He's given away, like, half of his fortune up to now to charity.

So, like, his kids are kind of.

His kids are on that charity buzz as well.

So it's not like they're just gonna go and start, like, buying up.

What age are his kids?

They're not too young.

They have kids and stuff like that.

So they're not gonna just be completely insane with the money.

Well, you never know.

I would potentially.

I'd be buying, like, spaceships and stuff.

I'd be like, this money's never ending.

I'm trying to see here what aids are.

I don't know what age they are, but no, I'd say they absolutely kicked up a fuss and he was like, okay, so I can have a family whilst I have life left on this planet or.

And give them some money.

So, yeah, I'd say they basically iced him out and said, we're not talking to you unless you fix this.

Thank you very much.

Which is fair enough.

I wanted to talk about lies that you would have believed growing up.

So some people in the Internet are weighing in on the biggest lies that they believed as a kid.

So someone would be like, if you touch a button in the car, the whole thing will explode.

If you swallow chewing gum, it stays in you forever.

I still believe that.

I swallow chewing them now just to prove it wrong.

I always swallow my chewing gum.

I'm never near a bin, so I just.

Or else I stick it to my.

If I'm driving, I stick it to my wing mirror.

I know.

And then when I get out of the car, I take it off and put it in the bed.

I.

Did you ever stick it under the table in school?

No.

That's disgusting.

You obviously did.

Yeah, I did, yeah.

Yeah, I.

Sure.

I swallow a lot of chewing.

No, I couldn't do that.

I just couldn't do it.

And then another one similar.

Can I tell you what Spany does?

So in the morning we take our.

We have supplements that we take.

Spany just puts them in his mouth and swallows them.

He doesn't get water or anything.

He just swallows them dry in his.

Like, he swallows like four.

Just shoves them all in and swallows.

Them all at the same time.

Yeah, with no water.

He.

But he drinks water in a weird way.

Like he doesn't like drink.

Like he wouldn't have a glass of water there and sipping on it.

He'll go get a pint and school the whole thing.

I know I couldn't do that.

I.

I can't do it with some of them.

Yeah.

But no, like dry swallow pills because some pills, like, have a weird tastes and stuff like that.

No, Another one is if you swallow an apple pig hip, you'll grow an apple tree in your stomach.

No, I didn't believe that eating your.

Crust will give you curly hair.

Hello.

I did believe that.

Me too.

I love a crust now I have to say.

Me too.

And then this, this one I definitely believed.

If you.

If you make a face.

Oh, yeah.

And the wind changes, your face will stay that way.

Well, the ones I believed was if you eat carrots, you'll.

You'll be able to see in the dark.

Dark.

Oh, my God.

I used to go into the cupboard under the stairs, remember in 37, the dunes where we used to live.

And I used to go into the coverage under the stairs and lock and close the door because it was fully dark.

And I'd be like, I still can't see.

And then the other way, you know the way like this is just.

This is maybe an Irish saying.

I don't know if it's a UK thing, but like you'd be like, where you going?

Going to see a man about a dog.

Supposedly that's about drugs.

Is it?

You know that?

Yeah, supposedly.

That's a saying to say that you're going to get drugs.

That's what Spano told me.

So mom, our mom used to always say, I'm going to see a man about a dog.

When she never arrived home with a dog.

He'd be like, right, she's not going to get a dog.

But she'd come home with a big suitcase.

Actually now that I think of it, a duffel bag.

The odd time, you know, she'd stuff it under the stairs.

Always smelled weird, didn't it?

Like some kind of plant.

And then another one as well.

Sure.

Just like the age old kind of like, oh, not old wives tale, but like urban legend about the boogie man.

Oh, the boogeyman is scary, but there kind of is a boogeyman when you think about it.

Just any like murderers are boogeyman, Slenderman.

The movie and stuff like that.

Say boogeyman now.

I'm always worried.

Are you allowed say that?

Why?

Well, I got given out to for saying sambo as a sandwich.

Not let say that anymore.

Why?

I don't know.

There's a reason behind us.

So then in terms of you Vogue, what do you like?

You lie to your kids?

Kids.

What the what?

Elf on the Shelf.

Oh, they love the Elf on the Shelf though.

They absolutely.

They didn't care when they left, by the way.

They haven't even asked about them since.

They haven't asked about their whereabouts or just.

They don't really care too much.

They just like to see what they're doing and it's exhausting.

The Elf on the Shelf.

But it is a lot of fun when you're doing it.

It's the other thing as well.

This is like Gigi or you say TT and you know he's telling a fib.

You know he's telling a toddler.

Stick out your tongue.

I'm like, if your tongue, if your tongue is blue, then you're telling a lie.

That's just the way it is.

If you know they're telling a fib and you're like theater sick at your tongue.

Like, no, no, no, mommy, no, I can't.

I've been eating a blue sweetie, I promise.

Well, he came over to me about Santa and I was like, I was like, do not ask me.

He's like, oh, what?

How does Santa do?

I was like, do not question Santa around me because I want to make sure that I get my gifts.

Theodore, if you're just going to question it, he will hear you doing that.

And I'm not being involved in that.

Gas.

Oh, my God.

The level of gaslighting.

Oh, my God.

Well, I want him to have a nice.

I know.

I do feel strange about the Easter Bunny.

I don't really push the Easter Bunny.

No, That's a bit too much now.

Yeah.

I will do the tooth fairy, but he hasn't lost a tooth yet, which is kind of unusual.

That is a bit weird, actually, for the age that he is considering.

I do allow him to eat sweeties when I eat sweeties.

They're not mad for sweet.

Your kids, though.

Well, that's actually it.

Everyone, thank you so much for listening.

Thank you, Amber.

Thank you, Emo.

See you later.

I'm going on the slopes.

Thanks.

Enjoy your shoop shoop.

I will.

And if anyone's annoyed about me being on holidays, don't worry.

We're leaving in two hours.

This is a Global Player original podcast.