I was recently talking

with some of my amazing

thriving women, and

we were talking about

the loneliness that

comes from having

your own business,

especially if you've

come out of corporate.

Am I right?

Now you don't have

corporate buddies.

Now don't you don't

have an existing

team and Some of your

corporate buddies don't

quite understand what

it means to be spending

your own money, to be

juggling all the balls.

And my favorite, they

don't understand what

it feels like to not

have an IT department

or how I hate that.

I used to love

my IT department.

I was in this

situation and I had

a beautiful team and

each time I walked

into an environment,

, there was already

people established

and it felt great.

And then you go

out on your own and

it's like having no

seatbelt in your car.

It can be scary.

Whilst I was in this

conversation, it

occurred to me that

I myself might be a

bit of a lone wolf.

I think it might just

be my personality,

further enhanced by

growing up a

little too quickly,

and that's an episode

for another day.

But having to rely

on myself from a

very early age.

I'm like fiercely

independent.

And I reckon female

entrepreneurs can often

feel like they're a

bit of a lone wolf.

Among their friends and

in their outer circle.

They don't have

a lot of friends

that they can turn

to, that have had

or are having

similar experiences.

finding business

besties is kind of key

to feeling supported

in your entrepreneurial

journey.

There are tons of

women who don't have a

small group of people

that they can rely on.

And they're out there.

They're definitely

out there.

We just have

to find them.

I also think it's

really important

here to name the

elephant in the room.

I see it in

posts and blogs.

I see people sprouting

the words and the words

are women supporting

women, I hate to

burst your bubble.

But the amount of

stories I get told

about women not

supporting women,

sometimes it's

just not true.

Sometimes

women genuinely

do not support

other women.

I have felt it.

I have experienced it.

I have seen it.

I've watched it.

Sometimes you meet

someone and you

think, yay, a new

business bestie,

and then they go and

rip off your work.

Or they talk about

you behind your back,

or they say the right

things in front of you,

but you know that

they're speaking badly

behind your back,

or when you're

out of earshot.

It happens more than

we think, which is why

I'm bringing it up.

I have had this

experience myself, and

a lot of my clients

have had that as well.

And I don't think

women mean to do

this, I think they

start comparing

themselves to others,

who they perceive to

be more successful

than them, whatever

that really means.

And they genuinely

don't know what

their style is or it

could be evolving.

So they're trying on

someone else's style,

kind of like trying on

someone else's clothes.

A recent example

of this was I was

listening to a

podcast episode

a few weeks ago.

And I thought

to myself, jeez,

she sounds like

another woman

in another

business I know.

And it bothered me that

much that I went and

checked out this person

I was thinking of.

And then I realised

that one was a

client of the other.

And that's

when it hit me.

She just hasn't

found her way yet.

So she's trying to

find her own voice.

There's zero judgement

here, and I know that

eventually she will

find her own voice.

And when she does,

man, she's going to

be flipping amazing.

Sometimes we just

need to grow and

evolve, right?

I think it's also

really important to

realise that being a

wolf is totally fine.

And it can kind of be

a superpower as well.

It's definitely

my superpower.

Why?

I am so glad you asked.

Thank you for asking.

Three reasons, I think.

Firstly, you don't

need the recognition

or the opinions of

others to do your job.

Self worth is an

absolute inside job.

I was recently

reminded of the power

of self worth as I

was doing some work

with Farrah Mack,

the founder of the

self worth movement.

She is the sparkliest

advocate you can

get from a self

worth advocate.

perspective and has

totally nailed that it

comes from inside you.

She has these beautiful

self worth affirmation

cards and they were

placed out in front

of all of our guests

at our recent day

with the Queen and

they're beautiful.

Go check her out

on Instagram.

Amazing.

The really interesting

thing for me is when we

were placing the cards

out, they felt random.

But so many people

came up to me and said,

I got this card and

this is exactly what I

needed to hear today.

Somehow the universe

has our back in that.

There is a trap

here, right?

this one is a little

bit hard if one of

your love languages is

words of affirmation.

I know because words

of affirmations is

my love language.

And for those of you

that don't know the

five love languages,

it's my favorite book.

And it talks about

how to love someone

in their own language.

He talks about the

five love language

being, let me see if

I can get this right.

acts of service,

physical touch,

gifts,

quality time,

and words of

affirmation.

I'd love you to

pause now just for a

minute and work out

what you think your

love language is.

Once you've figured

it out, unpause

me and keep going.

I want to explain

what each of

them are though.

Acts of service

is doing things

for other people.

Do you like having

things done for you?

My husband loves

me filling up his

water bottles.

It's really simple.

Physical touch is

not necessary in

the saucy realm.

It could also be a

high five, a handshake,

a hug, a kiss.

Whatever.

Gifts is presents.

I used to be

a gifts girl.

Quality time.

My daughter is an

absolute quality timer.

She's like, can

we just spend some

time together?

She asks for it.

She doesn't know

the love language,

but she asks for it.

And then words

of affirmation is

someone noticing

something

and commenting on you.

It's not necessarily

compliment.

It's just

cheerleading you on.

And like I said, I

used to be a gifts

girl and then I had

Evie who's now 10 and

something changed.

So I went from gifts to

words of affirmation.

And recently, my

hubby and I did

an experiment.

If you know me really

well, you will not be

surprised by the fact

we did an experiment.

And he worked really

hard to speak my

love language for

42 days straight.

Man, I was

floating on air.

And some times he

didn't even mean

to do it, and it

just came out.

But the trap here

is that those words

mean so much to you

that you don't do

the work on yourself,

inside yourself, that

we rely too much on

what others think.

And that's never good,

especially in business.

Because like I keep

saying, you're not

everyone's cup of tea.

Number two,

you don't seek the

outside validation

of those around

you, and it means

You're quicker to move

on ideas that you have.

I have been able

to move quickly.

I do hate the word

pivot and thank you

for the feedback on

everyone else hating

the word pivot,

but sometimes it's

necessary, right?

You just got

to move quick.

It also means that you

will have people who

are not in the arena

with you throwing

shade or judgment as

you try new things,

as you fail, as

you get back up, as

you bounce forward.

You're right.

As you go again, or

while they're watching.

from their own

comfort zone.

And I am very mindful

to listen to the

people who are doing

a similar thing to me

and trying new things

rather than having

people watch what I'm

doing and give their

opinion and they're

not in the arena.

When someone

says to me,

Emma, can I give

you some feedback?

My initial response

is absolutely.

Then it's my choice

whether or not I

take the feedback on.

And also I have

to question.

Are they in the arena?

Are they trying

new things as well?

Or are they

just sitting on

the sidelines

judging others?

A lot of my clients

find this the hardest

to take people judging

from the sidelines

and some opinions

matter and some don't.

We need to be

really careful

who we listen to.

And finally,

number three,

I reckon being

on your own

forces you to cultivate

some really strong

self discipline

and problem

solving skills.

The challenges you

face will push you

to develop in areas

like time management,

adaptability,

flexibility,

resilience, and you can

play with streamlining

efficiencies because

you don't need to

manage your team

or rely on others.

You can streamline

processes and you can

make decisions quickly.

And the bonus, you

can have a deep

sense of pride and

ownership in building

something on your own.

Successes feel more

personal, don't they?

So I started with a

story about how we

were talking about

being a lone wolf and

it dawned on us that

we're all lone wolves.

Fiercely

independent women,

all doing amazing

things, but coming

together because

even a lone wolf

needs her pack.

Maybe a lone wolf only

needs a very small

amount of business

besties versus a

hundred of them.

Maybe she just

needs a small crew

of cheerleaders.

We all need people in

our lives who think

we're a big deal.

Don't you reckon?

Funny story.

I was at David

the Queen.

That's our day that

we get together

every two years, 120

women in the room.

And it was an

amazing day.

And of course I was

on stage showing

my thing and I got

home and, my 10 year

old was like, Hey,

mommy, you're back.

How did it go?

So good.

And then mom,

can you help me

with my homework?

And I'm like,

man, I love having

cheerleaders.

And I also love being

dropped straight

back into mom mode.

My question for

you, do you have

people in your life

who think you

are a big deal?

I do.

Every time I talk to

them, I am reminded

how great I am.

And that's not me

about me bragging.

It's just that I

have some genuinely

lovely people who

can be straight with

me, who can tell

me when I've done

a good job, who can

tell me when I could

have done it better.

And they're all

beautiful and kind.

But I know that they

do everything that

they do to Every piece

of feedback, every

conversation with

me out of a place of

beautiful intention

and intention makes

all the difference.

We've all been in

those conversations

where we have sniffed

someone's intention and

it's not been great.

Haven't we?

It's just that gut

feel, that intuition.

Some of my cheerleaders

are Lisa O'Neill,

Alex Hagen, Chris

Green, Callum McCurdy,

Richard Hodge, Jane

Anderson, Selina Fisk,

Matt Maloof, Meredith

Wilson, and of course,

my head cheerleader,

Mark McQueen.

What gets them into the

cheerleader category?

Well, when I

speak to them,

They encourage me,

they celebrate,

they commiserate,

they do all the things.

They just pour love

on me over and over.

I hope that I

am also their

cheerleader, right?

We have to have people

in our lives who

think we're amazing.

As homework, as

I would love you.

To reach out to

those people who

think you are amazing

and thank them.

There's nothing better

than receiving a text

message to say thanks

for all your support

and encouragement.

They will be so stoked

to hear about the

impact that you have

on them, and you get to

have a little dopamine

hit along the way.

I'll see you next week.