And I realized how important it's to hire somebody that is actually engaged in

their work, that's highest on their value because they're more stable.

And if I do that, I've got more stability, more consistency,

more reliability in my productivity.

If you're a business owner, business manager,

or you manage people in some sort of organization,

the topic that I'm going to do today,

which is understanding team dynamics at work or in your organization I think

will be very pertinent. So get something write with and let's go to town here.

First, I'm going to start off with a story. Many, many years ago,

<laugh>, around 40 something years ago,

I had a practice and I'd opened up my practice and

I had a lady named Lois who was at my

office at seven o'clock in the morning. We didn't open till eight,

but she was there, she'd come in early and I gave her a key.

She came in early and she opened up the hot packs and got my clinic ready and

got everything organized and made sure all the rooms were ready. She really did,

went out of her way. She didn't have any kids, she just focused on work.

She loved working for the organization.

And then after I would do my practice all day long, I would do seminar at night,

I would do a class, and she would stay there sometimes till 10:30 at night.

So she was sometimes coming in at seven in the morning and going till 10:30 at

night and closing it all up. She was really dedicated to her work.

And I was a bit, kind of,

I made this kind of infatuation with her ability to work so hard.

I kind of wished everybody was like that. Right? And I,

but I noticed that as I was kinda liking that I ended up having somebody

in my insurance department, named Bonnie, who was a lovely lady,

but she would sit in her car until

7 59 59 <laugh> and walk

in the door at eight o'clock. And then she would end up walking out, I mean,

it was like 5, 4, 3, 2,

1 at six o'clock at night, she walked out the door.

She did not give me one second more than the time allotted.

And she gave great work, she did everything else, but she gave only the time.

So I had an overworker, and because of the comparison,

because I was infatuated with her, I had somewhat,

which I was thinking as an under worker,

the real truth is she wasn't an under worker, but I perceived her that way,

comparing it, by the law of contrast.

So the more I was infatuated with the work ethic of this other lady,

the more I was kind of frustrated by Bonnie.

And what was interesting is Lois was friendly with everybody,

could talk to everybody, and Bonnie was kind of occlusive, you know,

an introvert, kind of sitting and doing insurance and doing math during the day.

She didn't want to talk to anybody.

So you had these two different opposite personalities,

two different opposite approaches to work.

And I found myself sort of elated with one and then resentful to the other.

I didn't want to admit that, but it was there,

it was underlined because I was expecting, you know, dedication. You know,

I was dedicated, putting in crazy hours.

So I expected this people to do the same. Why not do the same?

I realized later how important values were. I mean, I understood values,

but I really saw how valuable, when somebody feels their values are supported,

they're engaged. When their values are less supported, they're less engaged.

But I also learned something new from that, because one time,

the Lois who was sitting there doing all those hours started having a health

problem. And as a result of it, I told her,

I said I want you to go and just take today off and just,

I'll have something else being done. We'll close up at a certain time.

We'll make sure it's done. Just go and take care of your health.

And the moment she did, for about a week, I gave her kind of a, I told her,

don't come in early, don't come, don't stay late, just take the hours.

She didn't really want to do that, but I could see that it was,

it was running her down. She wasn't getting great sleep some nights.

So when I told her to do that, mysteriously Bonnie said,

we're behind on some insurance paperwork. I hope you don't mind,

but I'd like to stay late, you don't have to pay me overtime or anything else.

All of a sudden she kicked into gear and started having a willingness to work

later. She didn't come in earlier, but she worked later. And I thought, well,

that interesting,

if I'm shutting down this person over here and this person now picking it up is

there's something going on that's a higher ordered system that I'm missing here?

And I realized that in a business organization within the teams,

because this is a team that was working in the company,

there were complementary opposites, pairs of opposites.

And if you elate with one, you tend to resent the other.

If you infatuate with somebody that overworks,

you'll resent the person that under works.

So what I did is I started to becoming aware of the downsides of Lois.

I found out that Lois was talking more and the productivity per minute was

actually less than Bonnie, who talked less.

Bonnie actually got just as much done,

if not more done during the day without all the talk and within less hours.

So she was actually more efficient. And I calmed down my infatuation with Lois,

and I kind of calmed down my resentment with Bonnie.

I started seeing the benefits of Bonnie and the drawbacks of Lois as overworking

and I brought them back into balance.

So I wasn't looking up to one and looking down on the other.

And then amazing thing happened.

Lois started being more reasonable and being more productive.

And Bonnie started to go and do more actions over hours.

And it was like they came to kind of a midpoint,

the moment I stopped Infatuating and resenting with them,

and I thought, well, that's amazing, is there a possibility of that?

So I then looked for other opposites.

I found that some were more extroverted and some are more introverted,

some are more detail oriented, and some are more people oriented.

And I looked for pairs of opposites and I started to calm down and balance out

the pros and cons of both of them.

And I watched the stability of my team stabilize. It was amazing.

Instead, the gyration that I had to micromanage all the time,

there was stability and there were people there.

And I realized how important it's to hire somebody that is actually engaged in

their work, that's highest on their value because they're more stable.

And if I do that, I've got more stability, more consistency,

more reliability in my productivity. Well,

I realized that if I get elated with one pole, I breed the other pole.

I came across a book by a management specialist called Deming,

who's the one that helped you know,

management in Japan at the time when Japan was really taking off back in the

eighties and things. And Deming, Edward Deming talked about this same mechanism.

He talked about these pairs of opposites. And so when I read that, I go, my God,

that's what I discovered kind of serendipitously in my business.

So I just want you to know that in your business or any organization,

you're going to have a culture and counterculture,

an individual with a set of traits and opposite traits,

the summation of all the traits, a summation of all the values,

create an androgynous balance within the company.

If you have somebody that's work, work, work, work, work that has no kids,

you have somebody else that's got kids and they just basically do it and they

focus on their kids.

You need a balance of the masculine and feminine or the testosterone and

estrogen to make a company grow and to make an organization grow even within

yourself. The more you're living by your highest values,

the more you hire people that're engaged and able to do what they love in their

highest values, the more stable that is,

the more productive engaged that business is.

But the second they are not fulfilled.

And you hire people that aren't inspired and you're not inspired and you're not

delegating lower priority things and sticking to higher priority things,

the more wobbly you are and the more you have wobbles in your business between

the pairs of opposites,

the more you go in your amygdala and infatuate with one side and resent the

other.

So whatever you like in your office and you see people that do things that you

like, find also the downsides.

I ended up going on into a company that was in Florida that was involved in

website development back in the early nineties,

very beginning of the nineties when everybody had to have a website.

And we had a person that was the overseller. She was just selling,

I mean literally 10 times anybody else in the sales team,

she was making the other sales team feel loss of incentive.

She wasn't giving them any way of getting a return because she was just

excelling past them in sales.

The owner of the company was Infatuated with the super sales person and the

people that were not selling as much, he was kind of resenting,

why can't you be like this person, why can't everybody be like this person?

And it was interesting because I had learned that, I said,

what's the downside of the Overworker?

The one that's really knocking out the sales? And he said, well,

there are no downsides, she's making all the fortune here. I said,

but you're reliant on her.

What happens if all of a sudden she got sick or she all of a sudden left or

something happened with her? Well then you don't have a team really effort.

I said, maybe you'd be wise to find the downsides.

And then we looked for the downsides and we found out that she was secretly

having an affair with one of the people in the company, <laugh>,

one of the partners in the company.

And then we realized that if all of a sudden we allow that,

we're now setting a precedent.

And he started to calm down his infatuation with the girl and realizing he was

vulnerable. And the partner,

if he goes and knocks down this lady that's the super salesperson,

he ends up having the partner upset with him so he is now caught because they've

broken the kind of the rules of the game.

So he basically found the drawbacks and then he basically found the benefits of

the other team and he asked the lady that was over salesperson,

the super salesperson,

to train the other ones just to make sure they didn't depend on her,

because the other ones are disincentivized. Well,

he brought this one down a bit and this one up a bit,

and confronted the idea about the affair and asked the partner to

make sure that he didn't undermine the company by having this affair,

stopped the affair, brought these things back into balance.

The overall productivity from all of them went up and the reliance in that one

person calmed down. So they didn't lose any business, but what they did is they,

instead of it being concentrated in one person and not being productive in the

other ones, and having infatuation resentments, they now had a balance.

Anything you infatuate with occupies space and time in your mind,

it makes it hard to sleep at night. Anything you resent,

occupies space and time in your mind, has it hard to sleep at night.

So your mind is distracted by these polarities and by you neutralizing the

polarities,

that's one of the reasons I tell people to come to the Breakthrough Experience.

In the Breakthrough Experience I show people how to neutralize those polarities

of infatuation resentments, and prides and shames.

Because you get infatuated with somebody or resentful to somebody,

you can minimize or exaggerate yourself and you fear the loss or you fear the

gain of those people.

And therefore the world externally runs your business and you, instead of you.

But by bringing them into balance and having a poised state of mind and living

by your highest priority and making sure that people are engaged,

you reduce the volatilities in the teamwork in the business.

The way you build teams is very simple. Have a common thread, a common focus,

and help engage people by making sure you hire people that're inspired to do the

particular job description. A high engagement level,

the more engaged they are and the higher the priority that they're living and

the more they're fulfilled in their job,

because nobody goes to work for the sake of a company,

they go to work to fulfill their highest values. The more they do,

the more stable it is, the less volatiles, the less infatuation resentments,

the less distractions, the less occupations at nice, the more poised you are,

the less bored or burned out you become.

And the less distracted you are by management and

micromanagement of people.

So take the time to calm down any infatuations and resentments and

bring them back into balance. Because if you get infatuated,

you'll actually be blind to the downsides you're overlooking.

And if you get resentful, you'll be blind to the upsides. Balance the equation.

That's why I teach the Demartini Method in the Breakthrough Experience to show

people how to transcend those outer distractions in a

business and stabilize and manage it. As Buffet says,

until you can manage your emotions, don't expect to manage money.

And Robert Greene says, until you can manage your emotions,

don't expect to be a leader.

It's the management of emotions and having an executive function that governs

and moderates and dampens the emotional polarities that allow you

to master your business and build your teams. Because the teams on the outside,

inside your company are an expression of all the parts on the inside that you've

integrated because you now know how to manage your own mind.

Governmentus means one who can govern their own mind.

So give yourself permission to prioritize your life and get people prioritizing

theirs. Don't get infatuated or resentful with people and get distracted by.

That's why I tell people, come to the Breakthrough Experience,

because In the Breakthrough Experience you learn the method on how to live by

priority, how to transcend the polarities of judgment,

how to integrate those pairs of opposites and how to manage yourself and manage

the people around you.

That way you can build great teams that build great productivity and great

profits. Just wanted to share those few moments because I think that that's,

an understanding the dynamics at work and understanding pairs of opposites is

important. So anything you see in the company that you infatuate with or resent,

within the people and the teams of the company, look for their opposites.

If you infatuate with one,

you'll be guaranteed to be upset and resent the others.

Calm down the infatuation, calm up the the resentment,

bring them back into balance.

When you can see the balance and the order inside the teams,

you can bring order to the teams. It is amazing.

It's a game of internal perception. When you perceive the order,

you can bring the order. Until you can perceive the order, you won't.

And you won't perceive the order, you'll have disorder,

which means missing information when you're infatuated or resentful to people in

the teams. So make sure you hire people according to, when you hire people,

know what their highest values are and make sure the job description's matching

it and make sure the mission of the company is helping them get what they want

or otherwise they're not going to be focused.

And if they're not focused and you're going to have more volatility.

And if you're not able to focus because you don't have people to delegate that

are competent, you'll be distracted, you'll be in your amygdala,

you'll be emotional, you won't manage your teams.

The teams will give you symptoms.

The purpose of the team's volatilities and reactions are feedback mechanisms

to guide you back to authenticity and to live by your highest values and to

delegate lower priority things to people that are high on their values.

So they're engaged, you're engaged, you're prioritized, they're prioritized,

you're productive, they're productive,

to master and to maximize the profitability and the

productivity and the meaningfulness in your job.

So I just wanted to take that time to go over that.

So join me at the Breakthrough Experience to be able to show you how to do this,

and I look forward to seeing you on the next round.